


suppressed feelings

by Lady_Marquez93



Category: British Actor RPF, Coriolanus
Genre: Angst, Blood, Child-birth, Death, Engagement, F/M, Feelings, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, Fluff, Flying, Gifts, Guns, Hospital, Jealousy, Kissing, Massage, Memory Loss, Mile High Club, Nausea, Oil, Pregnancy, Rejection, Sexual Content, Shower Sex, Stalker, Wedding, Wedding Night, it's a girl!, more surprises, surprise, tonguefucking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-23
Updated: 2016-05-21
Packaged: 2018-02-11 05:59:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 105
Words: 366,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Marquez93/pseuds/Lady_Marquez93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Tom have been friends for almost two years although your feelings went deeper then that you never had the nerve to tell him but then he suddenly stands on your doorstep with a confession to make...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. suppressed feelings

**Author's Note:**

> so hope you like reading this as much as it was writing it, I love feedback! And there will be another chapter, sorry about the titel, couldn't think of anything better...

After a long and exhausting week you walk into your apartment in the town of York and throw your keys in the bowl on the cabinet. You hang your coat up and lay your bag on the chair. On the way to your well-deserved long hot bath you kick your heels off and pull the rubber band out of your hair which thus falls over your shoulders. You push the bathroom door closed with your foot and turn on the tap, you turn to find just the right temperature and when you are satisfied you pour some lavender oil into it. While your bath fills you undress further and put your clothes on the washing machine. Slowly you let yourself down into the warm water and close your eyes, letting the water and the smell of lavender completely relax you.

After the water has become cold you decide to go out and dry yourself off to pull on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. You sit on the couch and flick through the TV channels but there's nothing that draws your attention. Then your eye falls on a scrapbook that lies on the little table next to the couch. You smile and grab it, your fingers glide over the cover that bears his name and you open it. Immediately the smiling face of Tom Hiddleston looks at you and you bite your lip. It has been so long since you last saw him, heard his voice and dispite the fact that you know he will always make time for you, you still hesitate to call him, knowing he is in the middle of the production for the play he currently has the leading role in; Coriolanus. He had invited you to be there during opening night to be with him, saying that on one of the most important nights of his life he wanted you close and wanted to share it with you and you'd loved to be there but right at that week your boss sent you abroad in order to attract an important client and despite your pleas to send someone else she did not change her mind. You will never forget the disappointment in his voice when you told him you would not be there, although he tried to hide it of course, but you heard it anyway. You wished him luck, saying that the public would love him and he would steal the evening. He laughed at you, and that made it a bit better for yourself. That's about two months ago. You skim through the book which contains the reviews of the play from the morning after opening night.

_Thanks to an ideally dovetailed ensemble led by a scorching Tom Hiddleston, tension builds, fills the theater and never flags throughout an all-consuming evening.- Variety_

_Tom Hiddleston strips muscular torso stage Coriolanus. Army officer Coriolanus is so covered in blood after battle that he has to wash. And so Mr Hiddleston strips to his muscular torso and a steady torrent descends from the Donmar’s ceiling as he washes his hair and massages his abdomen in front of cooing Donmar luvvies - DailyMail_

_In Hiddleston’s performance he’s a lean, mean killing machine, and there is an extraordinary moment in which he takes a shower after the battle and gasps with pain as his wounds turn the water blood red. Hiddleston marvellously captures a sudden piercing tenderness and love, as if experiencing these overwhelming emotions for the first time. At every stage of his tragic journey, Hiddleston is compelling and persuasive. there is no mistaking its dramatic energy, while the mixture of charisma and emotional truth in Hiddleston’s performance is very special indeed. - The Telegraph_

_Tom Hiddleston, lately a baddie and an action man in the movies, and voted the world's sexiest film star, certainly puts himself through it as Coriolanus: he clambers up a high, steep ladder, strips to the waist, douses himself in blood, showers off, gets pelted with rotten tomatoes by the populace, fights like a dervish and dies upside down, hanging by his feet like Mussolini. It's a simple, spartan story, decked out with some of Shakespeare's most vivid, brilliant and sinewy verse, and Hiddleston rides it like an Olympic horseman. - whatsonstage_

_Tom Hiddleston’s Coriolanus is charismatic and able to combine warmth with a brutal edge. And yes, there is a “shower” scene to make everyone happy who enjoyed the poster. - theotherbridgeproject_

_Women and men alike swooned over Tom Hiddleston, and fair enough, he was named sexiest man in the world by MTV, after all, but Coriolanus gives him the opportunity to really show his acting chops. Face covered in rather realistic blood in the opening battle scene, Hiddleston’s eyes are fire. At intermission, the general consensus of the hubbub is that Hiddleston has transcended his pretty boy appeal and is actually a fine actor indeed. acrossthepondtv.wordpress_

Then you get to the photographs, the photographs during the show, Tom covered in blood with piercing blue eyes, Tom bare-chested to wash the blood from him, Tom during one of his fights, his blue eyes shooting fire and eventually hanging upside down at his feet, dead. At the thought of his death there goes a cold chill through your body. You sink in the couch and think back to your first meeting. It was sometime in 2012, you were dragged to the York Art Gallery by a friend seeing there was a collection there she wanted to see. Despite your protests that you're probably the least suitable candidate to join her she insisted and sighing you agreed. Your friend was so excited and hopping from one room to the other that you lost her pretty quickly.

After you've been looking for her for half an hour you gave up and you decided to drink in the restaurant a coffee. You took the last free table by the window and looked out while you suddenly heard a beautiful voice.

'' Excuse me, may I sit here?''

You turn your face to the sound and look into two beautiful blue eyes who look at you from over the rim of a sunglasses and you wonder whether love at first sight really does exist. You nod and he smiles and you feel yourself to be even more in love with him. He slides in his chair and you see he also wears a light grey hat and he looks at you, inquisitive, and goes to your surprise a conversation with you while he places his sunglasses on the table.

Normally you are always somewhat insecure and not at all at ease with strangers, but there was just something about him, the friendly look in his eyes, the soothing sound of his voice. Maybe it has to do with the idea that you know him from somewhere. But you shake the feeling of you and concentrate on the handsome stranger before you and soon you found yourself in a deep conversation with him. You mentioned that you had been persuaded by a friend to come along, you normally do not have much interest in art, and he had to laugh and then said that he had always fascinated been by art, paintings, statues. He said he came from London and that he stays at the Lakeside Hotel down the street. He came here to escape the busy life there so he could walk around quietly. You frowned your eyebrows when he said that.

''In London you can not quietly walk around?''

''No, not if you ....'' he suddenly stops and looks at his coffee.

''Oh, my God.'' you say and you place your hand over your mouth.

Tom looks at you quizzically, but when he sees he's your face he instantly is aware of what you realized and the corners of his mouth go downwards and his hands shoot to yours.

''Please, do no say my namet.'' he says, almost pleading.

''You're ....''

''I beg of you, I just came here to escape the fans not that I'm not grateful because I know very well that I am where I am today thanks to their support, but I was so tired, being followed by hordes of women and girls who are constantly asking for an autograph and a picture, I just wanted a bit of peace. After the premiere of The Avengers, it's a madhouse around my little person.''

The Avengers, that's where you know him of, and of course Thor and Thor the dark world. Loki, the Loki which you so often have dreamed of, that hangs on the wall of your bedroom. You admire more actors but Tom is the only one that made it to your bedroomwall, as himself but also as his character Loki. You can't even count the times you have pleasured yourself while looking at his beautiful face on two hands.

''I have to go,'' he says, and suddenly stands up, reaching for his wallet,'' but I found it very nice to talk to you.''

And with that he was gone. You look after him until he disappeared from view, hardly believing what just happened. When you look at the table again, you see that he has forgotten his sunglasses and you pick it up. Well, now you have at least one reason to seek him out. The following evening you walk into his hotel, looking around you at all the beautiful and stunning things you see untill someone keeps you standing. 

"Can I help you, miss?" he asks.

The way he speaks and looks at you, you dont like and when your eyes fall on your mirror image you understand why, you are wearing a pale jeans and a loose fitting shirt. Everyone can see that you do not belong here. You also know that if you mention that you come to see Tom Hiddleston he will laugh at you, instantly bring to the exit and tell the doorman to not let you in again. Yet you open your mouth to say something when you hear someone calling your name and you recognize the voice immediately.

"What are you doing here?" he says, surprised, "I will take it from here, thank you."

You look at the man of the hotel who looks at Tom like he does not believe his ears. Before he can say anything, he grabs your hand and takes you to the hotel bar. You look at your joined hands and marvel at the fact of how good it feels, how right, your hand in his. He takes you to a table and lets go of your hand, you instantly miss the contact but when he slides a chair back for your, you smile.

"Wow, the last time a man slid a chair back for me I can not even remember." you say.

After you sit down you lay his sunglasses on the table.

"My sunglasses! I was wondering where I left that, how sweet that you took the time to come return it" he says, delighted.

You smile and look around, there are not many people, but the ones who are there are all dressed as though they are at a feast and suddenly you feel awkwardly in your pale jeans and shirt. You shrink a little further in your chair and are startled when Tom lays his hand on yours.

"Would you rather go somewhere else?" he asks.

You look at him, surprised that he wants to spend time with you, he notices.

"I really did enjoy our talk yesterday, I would love to continue it, get to know more about you." he says.

"Why? I am sure there are a lot more interesting people around you could spend your time with." 

"Maybe, but I choose to spend my time with you," he says smiling,"please let me."

Well, who are you to ignore Tom Hiddleston's request to be in your company for one night. Before you know it, he pulls you out of your chair and five minutes later you're sitting in a café. The rest of the evening is spent talking about everything, your childhood, where you grew up, family, interests. Before you know it, it is past midnight and you have to say goodbye to him. Although it is not far to your house he insists to get you a cab so he knows you arrive home safely and you are touched by his concern. Just before you get in the cab, he stops you and he takes a note on which he writes something quickly, when he gives it to you is a phone number. Then he places a kiss on your cheek, and he lifts your head so that you have eyes on him.

"Call me." he says.

And that was the beginning of a long friendship. A friendship consisting of mainly phone calls and email, and somewhere, God knows where, you have fallen for him.

In the 2 years that followed you've only seen him a few times but nonetheless he has become a good and dear friend, and you know that he sees you as the same. Still, you wished he would feel just a little bit more for your than just a deep friendship. You sigh and get up, you have the scrapbook in one hand and with the other you reach for the light switch to turn the lamp off, but at that time the doorbell rings. You turn around and look at the door, it's late and you would prefer to go to bed and give you're still fatigued muscles some rest. Yet you are curious and you walk to the door.

When you open it, you see a man standing who you had never expected to see, on your doorstep, late at night and in a reflex throw the door shut.

''It's good to see you again too. I hope you did that because you were not expecting me, not because you do not want to see me.'' he says.

You frown your eyebrows and wonder why he thinks you do not want to see him, you would prefer to always be with him.

"Because I wanted to see you. That's why I'm here.''

He pauses and you know that he is waiting for an answer, you need to say something, but what?

'' Y/N?''

You are pressed against the door and look through the spy hole. You put your hands on the door and stand on your toes so you can look down, he wears a cobalt blue shirt, top two buttons loose, you bite your lip when you realize that you once told him that color is amazing on him, that it brings his eyes out even more.

''Please, I know it's late but I have to tell you something, something I prefer to do face to face.''

''I look like a mess.'' you throw out and you close your eyes to your own stupidity.

You hear him laugh and look through the spy hole again, your lips form a smile at seeing his smiling face. You take a step aside and slowly open the door peeking around it towards him. When your eyes find his you bite your lip.

''Hi.'' he says.

''Hi.'' you answer.

''Can I come in?'' He asks.

You step aside and let him in, when you close the door, you feel his eyes on you.

''You look beautiful.'' He says.

''I am wearing shorts and a t-shirt and my hair is uncombed; I look like a mess, Tom.''

''Even in a sackcloth you would still be gorgeous.'' is his answer.

You blush and look away, he has you never called beautiful or gorgeous, and you wonder what's going on.

''What is that?'' he asks suddenly.

Then you notice that you still have the scrapbook in your hand and you try to hide it behind your back.

''Oh nothing.'' You say quickly.

You walk past him, but he is faster and grabs your wrist, taking the scrapbook from you, when he sees his name, he looks at you quizzically. You fidget some with your hands and keep your eyes focused on the book, avoiding his eyes. He opens the scrapbook and browses through it, you dare a look at him and see that his lips read the words.

''This book is about me, about the play, photos, reviews.''

''I just wanted to follow how you would do and what the newspapers would write.'' you answer softly.

''You could have called.'' he says and the hurt tone breaks your heart.

''I know, but I did not want to disturb you, you're so busy preparing every night .....''

''For you I would have made time, you should know this.''

''Yes, I know.'' You say, and you bite your lip again.

''You should not do that.'' He says.

He extends his hand to your face and draws your lip from between your teeth.

''I wish you could have been there on opening night.''

''Me too, but my job...''

''Yes, I know, but still, it was different without you there to share it with afterwards. I called you, send your text messages.''

''I know, I got them.''

''Then why did not you call me back?''

''I told you, I knew you would be busy.....'' you try.

''Do not lie to me, y/n ..... why?''

His hand is still against your cheek and you have to make efforts to focus on his voice and his words. Then you remember something.

''Wait,'' you say,'' should you not be in London? The play is still running is it not?''

''Yeah, about a month.''

''What are you doing here then? Not that I'm not happy to see you, of course.'' You say quickly.

''Of course, that is why you threw the door in my face.''

''You surprised me.''

''And I'm sorry, I should have called first, but I had no time for that.''

''No time?''

''No, we have water damage inside the Donmar, takes three days to be repaired and another to clean up, an hour later I found myself on a trainstation buying a ticket to York, to you.''

''Really?'' you ask and you feel honored that at the first opportunity he had, he choose to come to you.

''Yes, I missed you, I had to see you.''

''You wanted to tell me something.''

He nodded and lets his hand move down, it slowly glides over your bare arm and he laces his fingers with yours. An action that sends a shiver through your body, and he smiles at your response.

''It's nice to know that I have some effect on you.'' He says.

''You always had an effect on me.''

''What kind of effect would that be?'' he says smiling.

''Don't change the subject, Tom, just tell me what you want to say.''

''I never felt so bad to be alone, actually I chose for that. In my work, you are always away from home, weeks sometimes months. One minute you're in a Los Angeles studio filming and the next you stand on a mountain in Iceland. Then promote the movie, one day your in Germany the following in China, living in hotel rooms. I always had people around me, my co actors, people from the set, I was never really alone so I missed nothing. But the last two months I've been at the Donmar I was home every night and eventually I realized that I was missing something.''

''What was that?'' you ask.

You get a bad feeling in your stomach and you place your arms around you.

''Someone to come home to, someone waiting for me with a smile, a kiss, an embrace. Someone to tell about how my day was and to hear everything about their day. Someone who would fall asleep in my arms and to wake up to the next morning.'' 

''Is this going somewhere?'' you ask a little impatient.

''My mother always said I would notice if I would meet that one person, I would feel it, fireworks, sparks, a heart rate that goes faster, chemistry, that sort of things. That had not yet happened to me, or so I thought. Those lonely nights of the last few weeks, I have had time to think and I came to the conclusion that I already met her long ago. I just did not realize it because I was not looking for someone.''

You must make an effort to keep your emotions under control, you know what he wants to say, he met the love of his life, the woman he wants to grow old with, the mother of his children, and he is going to tell you that you are not that women; you're going to lose him, you already feel him slipping through your fingers.

''So, do I know her? Probably not because she will most likely live in Londen too right? Is she in the play with you? Maybe she is in one of the pictures in my scrapbook.'' 

You know you are rambling but you have to do something and you reach for the scrapbook in his hands but he grabs your wrist and stops you.

''It's you.'' he suddenly says.

''What?'' you say and blink up at him.

''It's you, love.''

''I...what...?'' you still look at him, not knowing what to say.

Suddenly, he comes forward and embraces you, it catches you off guard and for a second you do not know what to do with your hands but when you feel his lips on yours you let them go through his hair. The kiss is immediately intense and passionate, just like Tom himself and you lose yourself in him, his smell, his body against yours, his hands sliding across your back. They go further down and rest on your buttocks, he squeezes it and you moan in his mouth. He effortlessly lifts you up and your legs go around his narrow waist, you push your ankles in his lower back; you need to feel him much closer to you. Your head falls back against the wall and his lips go down.

''It has always been you I wanted, y/n,'' he whispers, his tongue licking your neck,'' I wanted you to be there when I would come home, I wanted to see your smile, I wanted too feel your arms around me after a day of work, you body in my arms when I fall asleep and you body next to me when I wake up, no one but you.''

"You mean that?" you ask, nauwelijks bevattend wat er gebeurt.

"Yes, more then anything."

"Then take me, make me yours and _I will obey you in everything hereafter_." you whisper in his ear.

You feel him freeze in your arms and slowly he looks at you.

"You _have_ seen the play." he says, sounding a little shocked.

"Of course I have seen it, Tom."

"But how, when.....I don't understand...." he says, shaking his head.

"I asked your mum to tape it at opening night. She send me the tape the next day. After I came home I watched it immediately and in the next few days at least once a day." you say with a shrug.

"What did you think of it?"

"The play or you?" you ask,"because no offence to the great Shakespeare but in all honestly, you were the only one I had eyes for."

Tom laughs and kisses your lips.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, there was just one scene with you I didn't really like."

"The hanging part?"

"You would think wouldn't you? But no, seeing you all bruised and blooded kinda turned me on."

"Really?"

"Oh yes, it makes you _so so sexy_."

"What then?"

"The part between you and Virgilia, where she sits in your lap and, you know." you say.

"Did it make you jealous?"

"Yeah, you did kiss her every night for the last two months, that thought makes me very jealous, actually." you admit and feel yourself blushing.

"I'm flattered."

"Good."

"Does it make you feel better when I say that every time she kissed me I thought of you." He says kissing your neck again.

"Yeah, it does, but on the other hand, she also learned me something."

"And what is that?"

"That you have a weak spot,"you say and lean towards his neck,"right here."

You kiss him just below his ear and you feel him shudder under you and you smile against his skin.

"Oh, that feels so good." he moans.

"Better then when she does it."

"You have no idea, darling."


	2. Crossing boundries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Tom take that one step over the line.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I suddenly got inspired and that means there will be one more chapter between you and Tom with sexy times, but I'm pretty sure you do not mind because, really, who would not want sexy times with Tom ....
> 
> oh and i read somewhere that he can talk French I used that, I just do not speak French so I used google translate so forgive me my mistakes, I blame google translate. If you see mistakes, please let me know so I can modify

He lets his hands trail down a path and his fingers slide over your side, they find the hem of your shirt and while he looks at you sneaks them under your shirt. Slowly, unsure and a little hesitant, his eyes searching yours for permission and when you nod his mouth curls into a smile. Without too much further ado they find your bra and he gently caresses the underside of your breasts and it sends a shiver through you and you close your eyes for a moment. His hands go up further and he cups your breasts, feeling their weight in his hands and rubbing his thumbs over your nipples until they are hard. Your fingers disappear in his light curly hair and you bring your foreheads together until they touch.

"Tom, please..." you moan.

"Please what?"

You open your eyes and look at him, to your surprise he looks at you questioningly, despite the fact that he fondles your breasts and you feel his erection pressing against your thigh, he still seems to want a confirmation from you and you shake your head smiling.

"Always the gentlemen aren't you?"

"Always," he says and kisses your nose,"do you want this? Do you want me?"

Instead of giving him an answer you bring your lips together in a passionate hot kiss, you bite his lower lip and he opens his mouth for you, your tongues find each other and you gladly submit to him.

"Put me down." you say after the kiss.

"What?" he asks, confused.

"Put me down, Tom."

He slowly lets your legs go and when you are on the ground, he wants to step back to give you room but you take his hand, stopping him. You place your other hand on his cheek.

"Look at me."

You wait until his blue eyes find yours and then you lead his hand together with yours past the band of your shorts and you and he surprises you when he suddenly slips his hand further down and feels your wet slit, he lightly strokes over your clit and you let a moan escape your lips.

"God, you are so wet." he groans.

"For you, because of you, you do this to me, you always have." you hardly get out.

"Always?" he asks.

"For as long as I can remember."

He stops his ministrations and looks at you.

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Come on, Tom, you have always been so busy with filming and being interviewed and that has only been getting worse after The Avengers. I didn't wanted to be a nuisance in your way, hold you back."

"Do you really think that way about it? That you would be in my way only for a second? That you would hold me back? With you by my side I would only be better as a man and as an actor, you would only stimulate me to bring out the best of myself so that you would be proud of me."

You look at him in disbelief, but the look in his eyes is so touching, so honest that you believe him right away and you feel like a fool for not telling him sooner about your feelings.

"I'm sorry, I......I didn't...."

"No," he says and places his finger over your lips,"from the moment I saw you, in the museum, I already thought I felt something. Although there were some tables available there was just something about you that drew me in. I .... when you suddenly stood in the hotel that evening I was so pleased you took the trouble to give my sunglasses personally to me and not to leave it behind at the reception. Then I just knew it. I just did not wanted to admit to myself that you meant so much more to me than just a friend. That is also the reason why I didn't say something, because you deserve a normal life, a life with someone that has a steady job, is home every night and will be there for you when you need him. I can not give you such a life. The only thing I can give you is a life of lonely weeks sometimes even months and I love you too much to condem you to such a life."

"And still I would take that life with both hands, Tom, in a heart beat, because it would be with you. Of course I would miss you a lot but I take all the time that I can have with you, even if only for a few hours. Not that that would be enough because really, spending time with you is all I ever want to do for the rest of my life but I would make sure that the little time we do spend together is worth something."

"Then why are we still talking?" he suddenly says.

"What?"

Before you can do something attack his lips to yours and your shoot fingers in his hair, the kiss is rushed and hurried and in one smooth motion, he lifts you up.

"Bedroom." you moan into his mouth.

"No, I already have been waiting long enough for you, I don't want to wait any longer to have you, I want you, I need you now." he says and his words send a spark of want trough you.

He lowers you down on the table and hooks his fingers under the waistband of your shorts, together with you slip he pushes them down your legs and then goes straight for your shirt. He tosses it somewhere behind him and faster then you can blink he unhooks your bra and slides it of your shoulders. He steps back to admire you and you must resist the urge to hide yourself under his open stares at your body. You look away and feel yourself blush.

"Oh my darling, my sweet y/n, you are absolutly stunning, even more then I imagined." he says, adoration sounding in his voice.

"You have imagined me?" you ask and look at him.

"Of course I have, have you not with me?"

"Well yeah, obviously." you giggle.

He smiles and steps closer, placing himself between your legs. He sets his hands on your knees and lowers his mouth to your ear.

"This is your chance to find out if I meet your standards, undress me."

Well, he does not need to tell you a second time and your hands slowly move to his shirt, you pull it out of his pants before you open the buttons, one one by. When the last bottun is loose you slide the shirt off his shoulders and it falls with a soft rustle to the ground. You let your hands move from his shoulders to his slim, muscular chest. You spread your fingers and let them go over his muscles and he shivers under your touch.

"I take it you like what you see?" Tom asks.

You smile and let your hands wander down to his slacks, just like him you waist no time in popping the button and pulling down the zipper. Instead of pushing it over his hips disappears your hand in his pants and boxer and you take his manhood down. He is rock hard and you feel proud that you have this effect on him. He closes his eyes and his breathing is slow. You move your hand slowly down and back up his shaft and your fingertip glides over his top, smearing the already forming pre-come over it. In response, he thrusts his hips forward.

"Fuck .... I'm not going to last long." he gasps.

You understand the hint and push his pants and boxer down until gravity does its job and it falls to the ground. He hooks his hands in the backs of your knees and pulls you to the edge of the table, you put your hands on the table behind you and tilt your hips up leaving yourself completely open to him. Tom let his eyes go over your body and they eventually come to rest on your wet slit. He swallows laborious and for a moment he bites his lip. You open your mouth to say something, but suddenly he falls to his knees and you come up slightly.

"I want to taste you" he whispers.

He leans forward until he is only a few centimeters away from your slit and he inhales.

"By the Gods, you smel devine...."

You're a little surprised by his words, you're not exactly a Virgin Mary but no one has ever said that to you.

Again you open your mouth to say something but the words change into a long stretched out moan when he the tip of his tongue slowly goes over your slit from back to front, his tongue circles around your clit and then he sucks it into his mouth. Suddenly he seems almost possessed, he pushes his tongue deep inside you and his lips close around the budle of joy while he licks bites and sucks on your clit. One of your hands finds its way into his hair and the other grabs the edge of the table while he has his way with you making you buck your hips uncontrollably. His hands grab your hips and pull you closer to him while his tongue continues to plunder your clit like a bum who collapses on a table full of food. It is not long before you try to push him off, it goes too fast and you feel your orgasm coming too close. Tom, however, does not go any slower and redoubles his attacks with his tongue on your clit and as he pushes a finger inside you and bends it you explode. While trying to catch your breath you feel Tom's fingers moving up over your legs, when they slide over your side you squirm under his touch, and he chuckles. He slides his hands under your back and slowly gathers you into his arms.

"You okay?" he asks.

Not being able to say anything you nod your head, Tom caresses your hair and gives you a kiss on your forehead.

"Good, cause I'm not done with you yet."

He lifts you up gently and walks with you to the stairs while your legs around his slender waist lays.

"What are you doing?"

"I changed my mind, I want you to be comfortable is because I'm going to take my time to explore your body."

You shiver in his arms and you feel Tom chuckle. You put your arms around his neck and your lips attach themselves to his neck, sucking and kisses him, and his breathing becomes shallow.

"I would stop doing that if I were you, otherwise we won't even make it to the bedroom and I'll take you here and now, against the wall."

"Maybe I want to you." your reply.

Tom laughs and shakes his head. He pushes open the bedroom door with his foot and walks inside but halfway across the room he suddenly stands still. You stop assaulting his neck and look at him.

"Tom?"

"Seriously?" he says.

You follow his gaze and see the posters of Loki and Tom hanging and also the official poster of Coriolanus on which he shines.

"Oh, this is so embarrassing." You say, and you bury your face in his neck.

"No, no this is sweet," he laughs,"so, uh, how long have they been up there?"

"I do not want to say." you mumble.

"Okay, so tell me this then, darlin'" he walks with you to the bed and lays you down, "while you brought pleasure to yourself with your fingers, would you look at them?"

You keep your mouth shut. His mouth decends on your neck this time and he kisses it softly. His hands moves down and carresses your side, making you squirm under him.

"And while you were bringing yourself higher and higher on that cloud, did you wish that it was I who brought you that pleasure?"

Still nothing from you but you close your eyes when you feel his lips going down to the swell of your breast and his hand finds the back of your knees, he hitches your leg up and over his hip.

"Would you moan my name....."

He slides his hand forward and lets it go down between your bodies in, he easily finds your clit and plays with it.

"Tom...."

"Hm, just like that, God that sounds so lovely, say it again."

Just to make sure you do he pushes your clit and he is rewarded when you moan his name again, a little louder this time.

"Your such a good girl, and good girls deserve a reward,"he kisses up your body and seeks your eyes,"open your eyes, darlin'."

Slowly you open your eyes and you meet sparkling blue ones that look at you.

"Tell me what you want. Tell me what you desire and I will give it to you, anything."

"You,"you barely get out,"I want you to......"

The rest of your sentence dies on your lips as he rolls his hips up against yours, and you push your head back into the pillow.

"You want me to what? I can not give it to you if you don't tell me, ma chérie."

You groan and almost curse him for making this so goddamn difficult for you. Isn't it more than obvious what you want???

"Please Tom, I am begging you...."

He lifts his hips up slightly and takes himself in hand, he places his tip against your wet slit and lets the head slip inside making you contract your inner muscles around him.

"Oh God, qui se sent si bonne," he pushes his hips slightly forward until he fills your halfway and then pulls it back out and on instinct you wrap your legs around his hips to keep him inside you,"you want this? You want my cock?"

Incapable of saying a sensible word by now you frantically nod your head.

"Say it," he whispers huskily in your ear,"tell me you need me, tell me you want me to fuck you."

You never would have thought that Tom could talk so dirty, but it excites you tremendously.

"Fuck me, Tom, just fuck me already, please...."


	3. Finally together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so you and Tom finally go all the way

Without hesitation he thrust his dick deep and hard inside you. You gasps for breath and let out a small squeal, Tom blows out some air and kisses your neck.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I just couldn't ..... oh ma douce femme, vous sentir tellement bonne."

He keeps himself still so you can get used to him which is good because Good Heavens with his size it is really needed. You open your legs as far as possible and eventually push your hips up making Tom and yourself groan.

"Move, please ...."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, for two years." you say suddenly.

Tom laughs and can not control his shaking that sends vibrations into your body making you squirm. You place your legs around his waist and push your ankles in his lower back.

"God, Tom..." you say, arching your back.

Tom comes up a little and looks at you, he moves a lock of hair from your forehead and kisses you just before he begins to thrust.

"Tu es tellement belle, I have so often dreamed of this moment, fantasized about it, to be surrounded by your wet heat that sucks me in."

He leans forward and kisses the swelling of your breasts while his hips roll faster and faster against yours. You take the bars of the headboard so your can bring your hips up to feeling him sliding even deeper into you with every inward thrust.Your hands go to his hair and you pull him up to kiss. He licks your bottom lip and bites it gently and you open your mouth for him. Your tongues find each other and they rotate slowly around each other, but the kiss quickly becomes fiercely, intense and the thrusts are harder and harder and uncontrolled. The tip of his dick makes contact with every thrust your intimate spot and you feel yourself coming close to a climax.

"Tom ....."

"I know, I know, that I would take my time ..... I said ...... but, you feel too good I just can not ......"

All the pent up feelings and desires you both have been pushing away for the past two years come to the surface all at once, and Tom can not take it slow, he has been waiting too long for this moment, and same thing goes for you. Slowly you let your hand wander down and you find your clit. Tom suddenly goes sitting on his knees and with one hand grabs hold of your hip to keep you in place while his thrusts become harder and harder. His other hand pushes yours away from your clit and he takes over. His finger runs circles around your clit, pushes it and when you find his eyes and you see the look of pure love and devotion on his face is enough to bring you to your peak, but suddenly he stops, your chest goes up and down quickly and your heart rate is doubled.

"What the hell, Tom." you gasp.

Tom smiles and pulls you up, then he lets himself fall on his back so you sit on him.

"Ride me," he says suddenly, "I want to look at you as I let you cum, I want to see the blissful expression on your beautiful face when I empty myself inside you."

You place your hands on his stomach and roll your hips forward and you moan at the same time, you bite your lip and immediately feel his finger to take it away from between your teeth.

"I told you not to do that, chérie."

You open your mouth to answer, but at that time he rolls his hips up into you and the only thing that comes out is a groan of pleasure. Your head rolls back, but Tom comes up and puts his hand on your neck.

"No, look at me, mon amour."

Your head comes to rest against his forehead and your eyes find each other, his finger is still on your lips and you open them to suck at the same time you move your hips into a circular motion. Slowly he lies back and his finger comes out from between your lips with a obscene plop while you continue to make circular movements.

"Lean back."

You obey him and follow his hand as it slowly moves down over his body, they find the place where you are connected to each other and he lightly caresses your clit, your breath falters in your throat and your movement halts a little. You are, however, taken out of your daze because Tom pushes his hips up and you now begin to move somewhat faster. Tom caresses your clit harder and when he presses it you feel that familiar wonderful feeling in your stomach again and this time Tom allows you to reach your peak. You try to keep looking at him but the pleasure is too intense, and you close your eyes, you are trembling and breathing raspy. Your muscles tighten around his shaft and Tom thrust a few times before he also comes, moaning your name. Breathless you let yourself fall on his chest and he instantly places his arms around you to pull you against him. His hands slowly slide across your back and you get goose bumps. With great difficulty he gets up, still holding you tightly and pulls the blankets over you. Exhausted, you lie in each other's arms and you fall into a deep sleep.

 

The next morning you wake up from tickling and you slowly open your eyes to find Tom placing gentle little kisses all over you. Your smile and caresses his hair, he comes up and you find bright blue eyes that look at you lovingly.

"Good morning, hot stuff."

You laugh at how you calls you and push him away but his arm quickly goes around your waist to pull you against him.

"What? I'm serious. You were amazing last night." he says between kisses.

"Well, you were not too bad yourself, either."

He smiles against your skin, and you kiss his head.

"I love you." you suddenly say, and you feel him freeze in your arms.

_shit_

"What?"

_SHIT_

"I uh ........"

You turn your head away as his comes up and you desperately try to think of a way out.

"I need coffee." you say.

You try to get out of his grasp, and you manage to turn yourself around and to place your elbow into the mattress but then his arm gets control over you again and he pulls you firmly against him.

"No, wait." he says next to your ear.

You close your eyes and curse yourself for what you said. You do not dare to turn around to look at him, too afraid of what you'll see. Although Tom has stated to be crazy about you, you never planned to say _that_ to him. You feel how he moves against you from behind and is leaning on his elbow too so that your bodies are touching everywhere and you allow yourself the time to enjoy how good you fit together like this, like two pieces of a puzzle that fit together perfectly.

"Come back with me." he says suddenly.

"What?"

"Come back home with me to London."

"Okay, I think they can miss me a few days at work." you say but you do not understand what he wants to say.

"No, I do not mean it like that, we have been dancing around each other for two years, we lost two years, years in which we could have been together if only we had been brave enough to say something to each other. I have had to do without you in my life, for far too long, we have wasted so much time," he takes your hand and intertwines your fingers, "what I'm trying to say is, I want you close to me, I want you to move in with me in London."

Your eyes become large this, you had not expected and you do not really know what to say.

"I ....." you laugh nervously.

"Please?" he whispers and bites your earlobe.

"Hm, how could I ever say no to you."

"So you'll do it? You will come back with me?" he says, face lighting up.

"Yes, yes I will go with you to Londen".

"You make me so happy saying that, y/n. Oh, And I love you too, amour de ma vie."

You laugh at him and turn your head to look at him.

"And what is up with the strange language?" you asks.

"Oh, yeah, that's French, sorry, I learned it when I was there and thought the language was beautiful so I learned it, but I can stop talking it if you want." he quickly says.

"No, that's okay, I like it."

"You do?"

"Yeah, it sounds.....sexy." you shrug and blush.

"Oh, well, in that case, Je t'aime, mon amour."

You smile before he lays his hand on your cheek and pulling you into an intense and passionate kiss. He lets his hand go down and lays it on your hip, he rolls his hips forward and you feel how hard he already is. You push your buttocks backwards and moan softly as his hand wanders forward and goes over your slit. You raise your leg and put your foot on the mattress to give him more room, room he uses by sliding a finger inside.

"Hm, si mouillée de nouveau? Pour moi?"

"Tom....." you gasp.

His finger disappears from your opening and you whine at the loss, but he gets up and pulls you up with him. Then you get an idea and you smile at him.

"What?" he asks.

"Sit down, back against the headboard." you say, placing your hand on his chest, urging him on.

"What are you up too?"'

"You will see, or rather feel." you smirk.

You sit on your hands and knees and lean over to him to give him a kiss, automatically his hands go to your face but and he is about to let them disappear in your hair you withdraw.

"You can not touch me." you say.

"Excuse me?" he says, blinking at you in confusion.

"You can not touch me, or I will stop." you say.

"You wouldn't dare ...." Tom answers and he looks at you in disbelief.

"I would not put me to the test."

Muttering, he lets his arms fall beside him on the cushions, you come forward again and crawl over him, making sure not to touch his body. Your lips kiss his cheek and then move to his neck, you kiss the spot below his ear and feel his breath stuttering. You smile against his skin, and you kiss your way down, his collarbone and on to his nipple, tongue running a circle around it, you wrap your teeth around his nipple and give a little tug on it. He moans and in the corner of your eyes you can see he clenches his fists, using all his willpower not to touch you.

"Dieu vous me tuez."

You have no idea what he says, but yet you have a suspicion. Your kisses go further down and you let your tongue trace a trail to his navel where you rotate a circle around. Tom sighs and whether involuntary or not you do not know, but his hips lift from the bed slightly.

"Time for the main event."

"God, yes." Tom answers and you laugh at him.

"Spread your legs for me, handsome."

Without hesitation he spreads his legs and your go sitting in between them, Tom slumps a little further down so he is somewhat more comftable, you put your hands on either side of his hips and slowly sink down, when you breath ghosts over his tip, your eyes look up and lock with pupils almost black with lust. You stick your tongue a little bit out and lick the tip slowly, making Tom gather the sheets in his fists to keep him from rolling his hips up. You keep licking him and you are surprised at his willpower. You reward him by closing your lips around him, and to take him in your mouth all the way. You hear how Tom moans and his head falls backwards against the headboard of the bed.

"C'est le paradis."

You smile around his shaft and slowly rise back up, tongue pressed against the underside and when you only have the tip in your mouth you turn a circle around it, you curl your fingers from one hand around the base and pull his foreskin away to caress his most sensitive spot lightly, and he shivers under your touch. You see his hands tensing and relaxing, and realize this is torment for him. Yet you enjoy the power you have over him and decide to let him suffer just a little while longer because, well to be honest, you have given blow jobs before but having Tom in your mouth is just pure bliss. You head slowly goes up and down, stroking his erection wherever your tongue can come and when you feel a drop of fluid on your tongue you moan softly.

"Shit, y/n, I'm coming ..." he breaths.

You suck hard and your hand strokes his shaft.

"Please, I can not ...."

"Then don't, cum in my mouth, give me everything you have." you say around his shaft.

Suddenly he grabs you by the hair and pulls you to him.

"No, not like this, I want to be in you when I come, I want me feel your walls tighten around me, squeezing me, milking me."

He kisses you passionately on the lips and his hands go to your breasts, he caresses them and kisses their way into your ear.

"Get on your hands and knees, eyes to the head end of the bed."

You obey him and when you are sitting he grabs your hands and puts them on the headboard.

"Keep them there." he whispers in your ear.

You nod and you feels his hands moving from your arms to your shoulders, he massages them and then they slowly slide across your back to your hips. Then they go to your front and they go up again, instead of firmly cupping your breasts he places his palms gently around them and he feels the weight of them in his hands, his thumbs gently carres over your nipples until they are hard. Your eyes roll into the back of your sockets of pleasure and you push your hips back, desperate for his erection. Tom chuckles and kisses your shoulder.

"Sois patiente, my love." he says.

"Well, I know that word,"you groan,"I just don't know if I can."

"You teased me too, remember." he says smiling against your skin.

"And I took pity on you."

"Yes you did." he agrees.

He takes your hips with his hands and lays his dick between your legs, he slowly rocks his hips forward and back again. You moan softly and lay your head on your arm. He drapes his chest over you back and lets one hand go around your waist, it goes directly to your slit, he caresses it and lets a finger slip inside. Your mouth falls open and your eyes close.

"Put your arms on the mattress," without thinking about it you do what he says, "look at my finger."

It's a little uncomfortable, but you open your eyes and see how his finger you disappears inside.

"Can you see it?"

"Yes."

"Keep watching."

His hand disappears and you immediately see his dick lying between your legs, he rolls it several times back and forth and you lick your lips. Automatically your hand goes to it but when his hands pushes your buttocks apart and he lines his tip against your opening the movement stops midway. You feel how he penetrates you, you see how he slips inside and your breath halters a little.

"Can you see it?" he asks again.

"Yes, god, ...."

When he is completely inside your he draws it back out slowly, almost fascinated you look at how he pushes his dick inside you.

"Does it look as good as it feels?" he asks.

"Uh-huh ...." you get out off your mouth with difficulty.

Tom smiles and caresses your back. Then he lets his arms go around your waist and your eyes follow them and see that he again cups your breasts.

"You are amazing, you feel amazing, everything about you is délicieux...."

He thrust a little faster into you and your answer is to push your hips backwards to receive him. Tom moans and bites your shoulder. Then he sits up and grabs your hips to be able to put more vigor behind it and you place your palms flat against the headboard of the bed, because it makes you slides upwards Tom, however, grabs the headboard firmly and thrust even harder. Vaguely you hear the bed protest under the movements but you do not care and you push yourself back with each thrust. It does not take long for your movements to start to falter and when Tom lets his hand go down and caress your clit you reach your peak. You shudder and tremble beneath him and after a few hard deep thrusts, he also reaches his peak. To not crush you under his weight, he falls next to you. You turn around and look at him. His eyes are closed and his breathing is rapidly there is a layer of sweat on his chest and your eyes wander further down to his dick. On a whim, you crawl over to it and place you a little kiss on the tip. Tom responds instantly by framing with his hands through your face and pulling you up.

"Please don't do that." he says, panting.

"Sorry, I could not resist," you smile innocently,"you know, I've never been to London."

"Never?"

"No, does that surprise you?" you ask.

"A little, but that's okay, I'll will give you a tour around the city."

"Can not wait." you say.

"Hm..but before that I will take you to home, to our home, and christen our bed."

Tom gathers you in his arms and you crawl close to him. The sun has long since been up and always up at this time, you're normal but now you have a sudden desire to remain in bed all day with Tom, your Tom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> Tu es tellement belle;You're so beautiful
> 
> Chérie;my darling
> 
> mon amour;my love
> 
> amour de ma vie;love of my life
> 
> Je t'aime, mon amour;I love you, my love
> 
> si mouillée de nouveau? Pour moi?;so wet again? For me?
> 
> Dieu vous me tuez;God you are killing me
> 
> C'est le paradis;This is paradise
> 
> Ayez de la patience;Have patience
> 
> délicieux;delightful


	4. preparations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, here I am again, I know I said this was going to be a three chapter thing, well, it began with two but then changed into three but then I realized that a blooded bruised Coriolanus turned the reader aka you on so I had to do something with it so here you go!
> 
> And to give you a heads up, maybe there will be a chapter 5 where our favorite sexy warrior will have a bigger role ;)

Three days later you stand in each other's arms at your front door, your fingers are clamped in Tom's coat afraid to let go of him and one of his hands holds your head whilst the other is on your lower back and presses you firmly against him.

"I do not want to let go," you say into his coat, "I'm afraid that as soon as you leave I will wake up and the last three days have been a dream."

"I know, I hate to leave you behind, you have no idea how much," you feel how he presses a kiss on your head, "but it's only for a short while, darlin'."

You nod, you have to give your boss you resign, and put your house up for sale, inform your bank and so many other things that you are sure will take at least a couple of days to arrange everything.

"I'll miss you."

"Are you sure you will not come to the train station with me?" he tries again.

"Yeah, I'm sure, there will undoubtedly be people who recognize you and I do not want to share what we have with everyone yet. I just wanna have you to myself a little longer," you say and then look up at him,"I don't care how selfish that sounds."

Tom smiles and looks down at you.

"Okay, I understand."

He lays his hand on your neck and leans down to catch your lips in a passionate kiss that ends much too quickly.

"I'll call you as soon as I get home." he promises.

Then he grabs a piece of paper and a pen and writes something down, when he turns it around and you read it you smile.

_I love you and will count the hours until you are with me in London, forever yours, Tom._

"Thank you." you say, and you take it. 

You nod and there follows a quick kiss before he opens the door and walks outside, at the end of the path he turns back once and waves at you, you wave back and then he disappears into the taxi. You close the door and lean against it for a moment. It's already afternoon and you immediately begin to arranging things before you leave. 

Your boss is not very happy with your resignation and you find it a difficult too, you have enjoyed working there four years and learned a lot. She even tries to persuade you to stay by offering you a promotion with a very generous salary. After refusing you boss becomes very curious about what is so important in London, biting your lip you decide not to tell her, you want your relationship with Tom to be a secret as long as possible to enjoy each other as much as possible in peace and quiet.

The visit to your bank is surprisingly short, after you told the woman behind the desk you would move to London she says that they will send all the data to their bank there, you just have to sign a couple of documents and show them your passport. Since you do not walk around with your passport in your purse, you make the agreement with her to go home to get it and in the meantime she can get the papers in order.

You open the door of your house and walk in, you go to the cabinet where you keep it and put it in your purse. When you want to go out the front door again the phone rings and your first thought is not to take it, then you remember that Tom would call as soon as he is home and you almost run to the phone to get it.

"Tom?" you ask hopefully.

"Yeah, it's me." you hear and you get a tingling your belly.

"Hey."

"Do you miss me yet?" he asks. 

"More than you know." you sigh.

"Probably not more than I miss you."

You bite your lip and smile.

"How are the preparations going?"

You tell him the things you've done and that are after you've been at the bank you are going to put your house for sale.

"Shit." you say suddenly.

"What?" Tom asks and he sounds worried.

"I just realized that this is an owner-occupied house, and of course it will take time before it is sold, and I have no job and my ....." you slap your hand against your forehead

"I'll pay it." he interrupts you. 

"What?"

"I pay the costs of your house for as long as it is not sold."

"Tom, you can not...., I can not ask that of you." you say incredulously.

"You are not asking, I am telling you."

"No, Tom .... that's your money, you have worked so hard for it ...." you try.

"Honey, listen to me, we're going to start a life together, you and me, all that is mine is yours, including my money."

"Yes, but ...."

"No, no buts, I mean it, and when you go back to the bank, I also want you to give them my bank account number so that we will soon have one account, of us together, I love you, I am going to spent the rest of my life with you, y/n, our lives will be one. All the things from us separately, will be of us together."

"Okay, you're too good for me."

"I just want you with me."

"I can not wait to be with you again, to feel your arms around me, your lips on mine, your hands on my body ...."

"God, I need to be on stage for rehearsel in an hour, darlin'," he laughs, "and I am wearing a fairly tight pants which does not hide an erection."

"Sorry." you mumble.

"Never mind," then it's quiet for a moment, "but I can not get past the idea to call you back after the show to finish this, I'm always full of adrenaline and I usually get that out of my system by jogging home but it seems so much more fun to have you help me with that, will you help me? " he asks sultry.

"I would love to help you, Tom."

"Do you have skype on your laptop?"

"Yeah, had to for work, why?"

"Because I want to look at you, I want to see how you touch yourself, how you fingerfuck yourself and how you squirm on your bed for me."

Your mouth gets dry at his words, you've never really been self-conscious about you body, but to expose yourself so openly..... 

"Are you still there?" you suddenly hear in your ear.

"Yes, I'm still here, I do not know about that...."

"Do not tell me your getting shy all of a sudden, I've seen you in all possible positions in the last three days." he laughs.

"Yes, but using a laptop will give you a very open ..... view."

"Yes a magnificent view, the most beautiful vision I can imagine, you are the most beautiful creature that I have ever had the pleasure of casting my eyes upon."

You blush by his words.

"You know what, why do you not buy something sexy for yourself and wear that tonight, then you control what I see." he suggests.

"Okay." you say.

"Great, I'll talk and see you tonight."

"Good luck tonight."

Putting your house up for sale was a lot harder then you thought it would be, it's not simply putting a sign in your yard. You make an appointment with the real estate agent to value your house and he convinces you to do a constructional examination so potential buyers know that the house is in order. To realize both cases you would have to stay at least two weeks. However, the agency could set your house on the site and in the magazines and the same evening you send him emails with photos.

When you come to the bank again the same woman as before beckons you to a small office, you sit across from her and give her your passport, she slides the documents to you and you look at them while you tell her that you want to combine your money with the money of your boyfriend and since Tom is also using this bank it is not a problem, but it will take longer. At the end of the meeting she walks away and a few minutes later she comes back with a credit card in her hand.

"If you put your signature on it, you can then use it right away."

You nod and put your signature on it, you give her a hand and thank her for the time.

Moments later you are standing in front of the window of a lingerie store, you've never bought lingerie for yourself and you have no idea what will look good on you and whether Tom might have a preference for a certain color or fabric. You laugh to yourself and then realize that it probably will not make much difference to him what you're wearing, he will no doubt say that you look beautiful. You walk into the shop a bit uncomfortable and look around, there are a few customers and two employees who, to your relief, do not immediately come running to help you so you can look around a bit. 

They have more choices than you expected and you are a little in doubt. They even have stockings and bras where the cups are missing and crotchless panties. You shake your head and move on. Then a transparent lace babydoll with built-in cups with strings to keep it closed in front and a separate string catches your eye. You bite your lip, they have them in all colors but the color green gives you the connexion with Loki and without hesitation are you looking for your size. You walk into the dressing room and when you're wearing it, you marvel at at how well it suits you and how confident and sexy you feel in it. In a bold mood you grab your mobile phone and take a picture of yourself in a sexy pose and send it to Tom before you change your mind. You dress again and take it to the cash register to pay for it and just when you stand outside you can hear the ping of your phone that you have a message. You pull your phone out and open it.

_Good Heavens, are you trying to kill me? Good thing I have more then one pants and why am I not surprised you choose the color green ;)_

You smile and type your reply.

_If you can handle more, I will see you tonight_

Tom's answer comes quickly:

_Oh I demand more, I need more, will call you around midnight._

You laugh at his answer and put your phone away. When you come home that night, are you really too tired to cook and you decide to slide a pizza in the oven. After you finish your pizza you watch a movie and it's half past eleven, you decide to take a bath to relax before your skype session with Tom and after you've dried yourself, you pull your babydoll on. Ten to twelve, you fire up the laptop and are looking for the Skype screen. You find it quickly and then you open a screen so that he can reach you when he's ready. You look back at your four-poster bed, there is some distance from the bed and you decide to set up your table near the foot of the bed so that he has a clear view. Tom's account indicates that he is still offline, and you walk to the mirror, you look at yourself from different angles and again you marvel at the fact of how sexy and confident you feel. When you hear someone whistling you laugh and throw a look over your shoulder at your laptop, you were planning to give him a wink, but when you see what he looks like your breath falters in your throat.

There on your laptop you do not see Tom, at least not the Tom you expected, no, you see Caius Martius Coriolanus, face and shirt covered in blood, his eyes piercing blue orbs.

"I take it you like what you see?" he says.

"God yes, you look ...."

"Sexy?"

"God, I wish I was with you right now." you sigh.

"Me too," he answers sincere, "I would get that sexy little thing off you so quickly that you do not know what happened to you."

You blush at his words and looks away. Then you see that you are already on your bed, on your knees and the hem of your baby boll in your fists. Your eyes look up and find his again, he sits on a chair with the laptop on a low table in front of him and your eyes move slowly down speeds up your breath when you see the bulge in his pants and you bite your lip. Down

"You see what you do to me? I've never been so hard so fast for anyone before, just for you, y/n." he moans and you feel yourself getting wetter between your legs.

One of his hands goes down and he cups his erection as he rolls up his hips, he let his head fall back and a shaky sigh escapes his lips, the action is so erotic that your hand slowly goes up over your belly and you cup your breast, you knead it gently. Your eyes are fixated on Tom who still rolls his hips up into his hand and your hand slides to your other breast, it slips under the fabric and you knead your breast softly. A groan which escapes your lips attracts his attention and with a jerk he looks at you.

"Oh yeah, that's it, touch yourself for me."

Your other hand goes down and takes the hem of your babydoll, you bunch it in your hand and pull it up slowly, Tom's breath hitches in his throat and you hear how he opens the zipper of his pants. He gently slides down his pants and takes his erection in hand, you moan when you see it and you lick your lips. He gives it a few tugs.

"I wish I could take you in my mouth." you suddenly hear yourself say.

"What would you do? Tell me what you would do to me."

"I would let my tongue encircle your tip, gently, caressing, kissing, I would have my lips close around your delicious dick and take you all the way in."

Tom groans at the thought and his hand moves slightly faster up and down his shaft.

"I would slide my tongue from the bottom to the top and then I would take you back in my mouth and just _suck so hard_."

"Fuck, y/n that mouth of yours ...."

"The weight of your stiff dick feels so good on my tongue." you groan and enjoy the facial expressions of pure pleasure on his face.

"Are you close?" you ask.

"Yeah, so close but I can not .... I do not want ...."

His hand moves more and more slowly until it stops, slowly his eyes open and he looks at you, eyes so dark that the is blue/gray is swallowed by black.

"Why did you stop? I was enjoying the view."

"I want to cum together with you, come on baby, show me something."

"What do you see?" ask you and smile at him.

"I want to see everything." he replies,

Your smile and gather the hem of your babydoll in your fists and when you pull it up slowly, you see that Tom moves slightly forward on the couch and he lets his dick go that remains standing tall. His eyes follow your hands and suddenly you become nervous, Tom sees it immediately.

"You do not have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable." he says, giving you a way out.

"I know, but I want too."

"Okay, close your eyes then," he says,"concentrate on my voice. "

You nod and close your eyes.

"Just relax, I want you to take on of the bedposts with your hand and with the other to carres your breast lightly."

You do what he says and your hand moves over your body towards your breast, it slips inside again and you softly stroke your thumb over your nipple, you let a soft sigh escape between your lips and your head falls to the side al little.

"That's it, you look so beautiful, y/n."

You focus entirely on his voice and when you cup your breast your hand clamps slightly tighter around the bedpost.

"I can spend hours watching you as you are now, loosen the strings, slowly."

Your hand disappears from your breast and sinks down, you pull the end of the string and you babydoll falls open but your breasts remain hidden from him behind the thin fabric. You look through your lashes at him and sees that he's holding his dick again and gives it gentle tugs.

"You're doing so good, baby. You make me so horny."

Your free hand strokes slowly over your stomach and goes up again, you place your fingers around your breast and squeezes it again, making yourself moan.

"To see you like this, for my eyes only, I still can not believe you're really mine alone, that I am the only one who is allowed to see you like this, the only one to touch you, to kiss and caress you, to fuck you... "

You feel yourself getting wetter between your legs and your hand slowly slides down to the elastic of your briefs, for a moment you hesitate but then you let your fingers glide over it and caress your slit through the material. When your fingers touch your clit you feel electricity going through your body and your hips buck up against your hand.

"Tom ..." you groan.

"Stop teasing, darling."

Your hand goes up and you let it disappear in your slip, immediately pushing two fingers into yourself, you moan loudly and throw your head back Your fingers slowly but steadily pump into you and your thumb runs a circle around your clit. You feel your climax approaching and you open your eyes with difficulty to seek Tom's and when you find them your breath falters in your throat. His eyes are fixed on your fingers, one of his hands slowly slides over his dick from the base all the way back up, his other hand fists in the cushion of the couch. You push your thumb harder on your clit pumping your fingers deeper into you and when you curl them you see stars and you fall over, you babydoll falls open and gives Tom a glorious view of your breasts.

"God yes ...." he groans.

Your hips roll forward and your breasts are bouncing by your movements.

"You're close are you not?"

"Yes ..."

"Let it go, give into it, love..."

With a deep groan you come to a climax at the same time you hear Tom growling deep in his throat, you look up and see thick white stripes shoot out his shaft, your eyes flicker to his and you lock eyes. Your orgasm becomes even more intense and you lower your head on the bed. When you've recovered a bit you slowly pull your hand out off your panties and you lick your lips.

"I wish I could hold you right now," you suddenly hear softly, "gather you close to me, your head on my chest, my fingers entangled with yours while the fingers of my other hand gently carress your side making you squirm in my arms because you would still be sensitive all over from your orgasme."

You look up and see that Tom is bent forward looking at you with an affectionate expression in his eyes. You come up slightly and smile at him.

"Me too." you answer.

"Are you coming home soon?" he asks, and you smile when you realize he already considers it your house too.

"What?" he asks.

"You said home."

"Because this is your home now, with me, hey," he whispers and comes a little closer to the screen,"you want to know a secret?" 

"Oh, I love secrets, tell me..." you automatically whisper back.

"Sometimes I imagine you walking around in on of my shirts, nothing else, no jeans, no pantie, no bra, just my shirt, the fabric of it brushing your naked skin, the hem falling just below your thighs. I bet you would look amazing in it."

"Well, who knows, do you have a green one?" you say with a wink.

"Wauw, you really love Loki don't you?"

"Sorry." you mumble.

"Don't be, he is after all a part of me so....I see it as a compliment."

"It was."

"So, when can I welcome you home?"he says, emphasizing the word home. "Well, I have already arranged everything except my house." you shrugg.

"Then do it tomorrow and then come to me, I do not want to wait any longer, I can not wait any longer, especially not after what we just did."

You see the sparkle is his eyes and you blush. "I am sure I can wrap thing up tomorrow and then I will come your way." "Can't wait, just let me know if it is going to be after five because by then I will have to be at the Donmar." "Okay I will." He raises his hand and lets a finger slide acrossthe screen, probably at the place where on his screen your cheek is, then he lays his hand flat on the screen and before you know it you lay your hand against his on your screen.

"I love you, y/n."

"And I love you," you say and you feel tears in your eyes, "and now you go take a shower and put some clean clothes on that gorgeous body of yours."

Tom laughs at you and places the laptop back on the table before he slides on his knees right in front of it.

"See you soon, darlin'" And with that you break the connextion


	5. Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> finally the day arrives that you leave for London to start a new life together with Tom, but from the moment you wake up, everything that can go wrong, goes wrong.

The next morning you wake up startled and you're suddenly sitting up in bed. You have no idea what woke you up but when you look at the clock and see that it was already half past 10, you curse and you jump out of bed. You run into the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth and then quickly pull your clothes on. You pick up your phone and see that you have some text messages, all from Tom and you go through it quickly.

_-Good morning my darling. Slept well? xx Tom, 8:45_

_-Hello? Are you there? xx Tom, 9:15_

_-Please tell me you are awake...? xx Tom, 9:45_

_-I hope you are too busy with arranging the sale of your home and packing your suitcase. Tom, 10:15_

-You sigh and curse yourself again before you type in an answer.

_-So sorry, I have overslept :s, xx y/n_

You take it to the living room with you and grab some muesli and yoghurt, meanwhile, you call your real estate agent to say you will be with him in a half hour to arrange the last things. Then you hear the ping of your phone.

_-Oh, girl, now it takes even longer before I can hold you :( xx Tom_

_-I know, I'm so sorry, but you know what they say; absence makes the heart grow fonder xx y/n_

You type, trying to make it a little better. 

_-It is impossible for my heart to get even more fonder of you, darling, I love you, Tom xx._

_-I love you too, xx y/n_

You eat your muesli and you put your bowl and spoon in the sink, that will come later you think, you leave your house and take a taxi to your broker. It's usually always quiet on the road, but the roadworkers have hit some kind of cable and all the traffic lights jump constantly from red to orange to green and somewhere in the midst of the chaos of cars agents try to control traffic and because everyone thinks they have priority ove rthe other it takes almost twice as long for you to finally arrive at your broker. He's been waiting for you and stands up when he sees you coming.

"Where were you?" he asks.

"The roadworkers hit some kind of powercable." you say apologetically.

"Yeah I know, it's crazy outside. Come sit down."

You sit in the chair that he moves back for you and sees that he has papers of your house lying on his desk.

"These are the pictures of your home that you've emailed me, this is the description, look at it just to be sure if it's all right," he says and slides the paper to you, "and the appointment with the man for the structural survey is for next week."

You look up and sigh.

"Do I have to there be?" you ask.

"It's your house ...." He says not understanding.

"Yes, but you are my broker, what if I give you the keys, could you handle it for me?"

"That is highly unusual."

"I know, but ......" you bite your lip, your boss and the bank didn't really have to know why, but you are about to give your broker a very valuable thing in hands to further handle.

"Have you got a corpse buried in your basement or something? Is that why you want to leave so quickly?" He laughs nervously.

"What? No, of course not, I would just leave." you wave it away.

Your broker puts his elbows on the table and looks at you intently.

"Okay," you mirror his posture and sigh once.

You tell him what has happened, and that you simply do not want to wait any longer, just like him and not want to waste any more time. The only detail you hold back is that it is Tom Hiddleston, that he does not need to know, no one needs to know for now. After your story, he looks at you and smiles.

"Ah, love, when I saw my wife for the first time, I knew she was the one for me, half a year later we were married and she was pregnant with our first." he laughs.

"So you'll do it?"

"Yes, of course, but make sure that I can always reach for news you."

"Certainly."

You read the description through quickly and nod.

"Sounds good." you say and give him the paper back.

"Okay, then I put it there on the site, if you have the keys today will later return, you may go to that pretty boy of yours."

"Thank you." you say.

You hurry outside and grab a cab, you let him travel different this time to avoid the blockage and despite being somewhat longer than usual, you arrive pretty quickly at home and when you look at the clock, it is now two thirty. You power up the laptop up and in the meantime run to the attic to pack your suitcase, you waver down the stairs with it to your bedroom and lay it open on your bed. You open your closet and without even thinking grab a load of clothes and lays them in the suitcase. Then you grab some stuff out of your bathroom, some shoes, and finally you find some important papers and that you put in an envelope and you do in your purse. Eventually you have one large suitcase and a smaller one and your purse. You walk to the laptop and just when you want to search for a storage service you suddenly change your mind, all your furniture looks still just fine, and it is a shame to store it up to be auctioned off. You turn off the laptop and put is in the laptop case and close it, then you walk through your house to see what you want to take with you. You finally decide to take some pictures and some other small things that have emotional value for you. When all is done you call a cab and when it's at the door, he helps you load everything in and when you collect your keys you close your front door for the last time. When you are in the cab, you tell the driver that you want to go to the train station, but you still have to make two stops. You let yourself fall back in the back seat when you hear mobile.

_\- Is everything going okay? xx Tom_

_-Yeah, it just takes a little longer than I wanted, apparently they have decided that today was a good day to start working on the road ;s I'm in a cab to the train station but still need to make two stops xx y/n_

_-I can not wait until you're finally _home_ , Tom xx _

_-Me neither xx y/n_

_-Are you going to make it here before five? xx Tom_

_-I don't know, I do my best xx y/n_

_-Let me know, I love you xx Tom_

_-I love you too xx y / n_

You put your phone away and look out the window, thankful that your first stop is in sight. The cab stops in the parking lot of the big thriftshop in town and you get out, you walk to the storage and after some inquiries will eventually find the chef. You explain to him that you are going to move to London and in order to move in with your boyfriend and that you want to give your furniture to the thriftshop. The man looks at you incredulously and then slowly his face changes into a look of gratitude. You smile and tell him to contact your broker.

When the broker hears what you are going to do with your furniture, he whistles appreciatively. You give him your keys and then say goodbye to him, promising that you will be reachable for him. Back in the cab, you send Tom a message that you are now on the way to the train station. If you will be able to catch the train that departs over fifteen minutes you can still be together for a while before he has to leave to the Donmar.

Once at the train station, the cab driver insists to help with your bags until you're standing on the platform, and you look at him gratefully. After you bought a ticket, you are standing on the platform with your bags beside you, ready to start a new life with the man of your dreams and you feel happier than you've ever been.

At last the train enters the station and you wait until it stops, the doors open and when everybody is out you want to pack your suitcases when someone lays his hand on yours.

"Please, allow me to help you." a friendly voice says.

You look up to see an employee of the station.

"Thank you." you reply.

The man grabs your two suitcases and that leaves you with only your purse and plastic bag to carry. He puts them in a compartment and lets you step inside.

"I'm Reily, I will be one of the conductors, if there is anything you need then let me know." he says.

"Of course, thank you."

When the man is gone you grab your mobile and send Tom a message that you are sitting in the train. 

_\- FINALLY! xx Tom_

is the response and you smile.

_\- I know, in about three hours I will be in London, xx y / n_

_\- Can not wait, I'll make sure I'm there, Tom xx_

_\- Wouldn't that be a pretty sight for sore eyes, xx y / n_

When the train finally departs your heart leaps when you consider that the next time it stops you will see Tom again you will feel his arms around again. You're nervous and look on your watch every five minutes. When the door to your compartment opens, you look up.

"Everything okay?" the same conductor as before asks.

"Yeah, everything is fine." you reply.

He nods and leaves you alone again. Halfway through you suddenly hear a loud squeaking sound and you have to grab the seat to prevent from falling on the ground and finally the train comes to a standstill, your heart jumps into your throat, you can not have arrived yet! You look outside but you only see houses and fields, you frown your eyebrows and stand up, you open the door of the compartment and look outside. In the hallway people are looking out the windows and talking to each other, but you can not hear what they say. Then you see Reily walking and without even thinking you walk up to him.

"Reily?" you say, and he looks at you, "what's going on?"

"I do not know exactly, but there seems to have been an accident about five miles ahead from here, the entire track is littered with debris."

"What?" you say incredulously.

"Yeah, it's going to take at least an hour to have it cleaned."

"Please tell me you're fucking joking," Reily looks at you in surprise, "sorry, sorry, I'm just ...."

"It does not matter, but if you do not mind, I have to find my colleagues and see what we are going to do."

"Okay."

You sigh and go back to your compartment, if it really is going to take an hour to clean everything you and Tom will not have much time left to be together before he has to go. Two years, two freaking years you and Tom flushed down the drain and now you are finally so close to being together and everything seems to go wrong, you look up at the sky and wonder if God is playing a cruel game with you.

You sit down again and take your mobile phone out.

_-Hey, I am now somewhere halfway, there seems to have been an accident about a little further ahead and we can not continue, will take at least an hour before everything is cleaned up. xx y/n_

_-Please tell me this is a joke, 0: Tom_

_-I wish I could, you have no idea, I do not think I can make it before five o'clock, sweetie, I honestly have no idea what time I will be there, you want me to go to your house when I arrive? xx y/n_

_-No, I am often at the Donmar until midnight, I want you to come over here, let me know when you arrive I'll make sure someone picks you, xx Tom._

_-This is all my fault, I am so sorry_

_\- No it is not, darling_

_-Yes it is, if I had not overslept I would already have been with you. :(_

_-We have been waiting for each other for two years, a little longer will not hurt, I love you, xx Tom_

_-Love you too, xx y/n_

You put your mobile phone away when the door opens again.

"We can probably go further in half an hour, they are almost finished cleaning up." Reily says.

"Thank God." you sigh.

"Can I do anything for you? Are you hungry or thirsty?"

Suddenly your stomach starts to growl, you've virtually eaten nothing all day and the thought of food makes you hungry.

"I'll bring you a sandwich and some water." he laughs.

"Thank you."

After Reily gave you your sandwich and a bottle of water the train is moving again. Slower than it would normally ride, but there is at least movement. You look at your watch, half past six already, the play is now about to begin and you hate it terribly that you can not be there. You had imagined your first night together so differently. You send a message toTom that you will arrive in about an hour and a half and you get a message back that someone will be waiting for you. He does not say who and you send him the question of how to recognize the person. In response he tells you you know when you see the person. You shake your head and decide to not worry about it any further. When the train finally rolls into the station Reily is suddenly before again you.

"Can I help you with your bags?" he asks.

"Wow, you take your job to take good care of passengers very literal, eh?" you laugh.

"Then they at least come back."

You nod understandingly and when you stand on the platform with your bags you grab a cart and put them on it. Once you've said farewell to Reily and thanked him you walk away and you look around whether you see someone who looks familiar.

"Looking for someone?" you suddenly hear a voice behind you ask.

You turn around and see an older woman standing behind you with a blue coat and a hat on her head, her face partially concealed from view, yet you recognize her immediately.

"Diana!" you say, you laugh and embrace her,"what are you doing here?"

"Tom told me what happened and he asked if I wanted to pick you up so here I am." she says.

"It's good to see you, it has been too long."

"I fully agree," she says, indicating that you must walk towards the exit "but if I understand correctly you will stay here with my son?" she asks, smiling.

"Yes, yes, I will stay with Tom."

"That is so good to hear, I was so happy when he told me he looked you up to confess his feelings and that you returned them. I have been waiting for that for almost two years!"

"Wait, what?" you say, and suddenly stand still.

Diana turns around and looks at you.

"You knew?"

"Come on, honey, it was so obviously, and besides, I am his mother, mothers know these things. Come on, we really need to go, you can still see the last hour of the play."

You walk further and when you sit in her car you look at her.

"What gave it away?" you ask.

"What did not," she says,smiling,"the way he talked about you already gave me a feeling, his eyes started twinkling, his voice sounding full of affection for you, that had never happened before when he would talk about a woman but when I saw you two together for the first time I knew for sure. Tom was always, of course, decent and courteous with women like a gentleman, as taught to him; holding doors open for them, sliding a chair back for them at the table and waiting for them to sit before he would sit down, his hand which he lays on the small of their backs when he would lead them somewhere, but how he handled you was different, I would almost say with greater care."

"Greater care?" you ask, not understanding.

"Yeah, as if he felt more responsible for you, it also occurred to me at one point that when you were together at some event, he never lost sight of you. Even if you would be on the other side of the room and he was in a conversation about something with someone he always looked at you frequently to see if everything was okay with you or if you needed something."

"I never noticed that." you say astonished.

"Yeah, well, he was good at hiding these things, and you too, especially about your feelings for each other."

You turn you face away and look outside, but when Diana takes your hand your eyes go there.

"But that is in the past, what matters is that you are now together. And I could not ask for a better woman for my son than you, y/n, I've always seen you as a daughter and for me, you always have been a part of my family."

You look at her trying to will the tears away at her words and smile at her and when she smiles back, you suddenly feel home, you're in another city and area where you know nobody, but that does not matter because you realize you dó have a family here and you are finally coming home.


	6. New Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the title again, I suck at making them up :(

As you drive into the parking lot behind the Donmar you've already seen a few official posters of Tom as Caius Martius Coriolanusbut when you are suddenly faced with a huge banner above the Donmar of that same poster a strangled moan escapes your lips and you look guiltily beside you. Diana laughs at you and shakes her head.

"Honey, I'm used to it by now."

"I am sure you are, but it must be strange for you that your son all of a sudden became a...." you wave with your hands to find the right word.

"A sex symbol is?"

You let out a surprised laugh and look at her.

"Yeah, something like that, yes."

"It is but on the other hand, he is my son, for me he has always been the most handsome."

"I'm so proud of him, everything he has achieved." you say.

"That's all that matters to him, you know? Course he wants his fans to be proud of him too, but at the end of the day all that matter to him is that you stand behind him."

"I know, and I feel honored that he appreciates my opinion so much."

Diana parks the car and you want to walk behind her to the back entrance but suddenly she grabs your arm and pulls you against her.

"I missed you, y/n." she says.

"I missed you too."

"Come on, let's go see Tom."

Together you walk through the heavy door, it is a long hallway with now and then some lights on the wall that light the way. Diana has been here a number of times now, but for you it's new and you can not believe your eyes when the room gets bigger and you can see all kinds of props lying/standing. Then you see several people walking but everyone is too busy to notice you. When you suddenly hear Tom's voice you stand still. Because you are still holding Diana she also stops and she looks at you.

"It's okay, come on." she urges you.

She pulls you along slowly and eventually you stand right next to the stage, out of sight of the public and when you look at the scene you see Tom standing with four other men. It's been three days since you've seen him, and since you've seen the play and even longer since you've seen your recording but when your eyes suddenly land on him you feel butterflies in your stomach. He is beautiful, really beautiful. You know that acting in films is his life and you have had the privilege several times to be there but to see him playing in a theater play is quite different because there's a live audience but Tom is playing so beautifully that you immediately are mesmerized by his passion for theater.

"He's amazing, isn't he?" his mother whispers, and you can hear the pride in her voice.

"Yes, he's really incredible, he really plays with his whole heart."

"Tom and Hadley will leave the stage in like five minutes. The servants remain behind for like ten minutes, but why am I telling you, you of course know this already." Diana says, referring to the recording she sent you.

You and his mother remain standing to watch and when your eyes find each other during his last piece of text Tom doesn't break character for a second and that you find very admirable. Eventually he focuses his eyes on Hadley and says his last lines. Then they walk from the stage together, your eyes never leave each other for a moment and when he is no longer visible to the public a big smile appears on his lips and you laugh automatically. Somewhere you feel that his mom takes some distance from you, but your eyes remain focused on Tom. Then you're suddenly in his arms, they close tightly around your waist and your arms go around his neck while he gathers you tight against him, probably smearing your clothes with the fake blood but that does not matter, all that matters is you and Tom are together again.

"God, I've missed you so much." he breathes against your neck.

"I missed you too." you answer.

He comes up and looks at you, he lays his hand on your cheek and you lean against the touch, then he leans forward and kisses you on your lips. Because of the absence of recent days the kiss soon gets intense and when you hear the audience clap after the curtains have fallen you let each other go, smiling and still looking at each other and you can not help but to lean towards him and kiss his neck, making him shudder.

"How long do you have?" you say, looking at him mischievously.

"Not long enough,"he smiles,"but we will have more then enough time for that later, darling."

Then his mother clears her throat and you both look at her.

"Mom, thank you very much that you wanted to pick y/n up." he says, and gives his mother a quickl kiss on her cheek.

"Always, my dear." she answers.

"I hate to have to leave you but I have to go through my lines of the last acts."

"Okay, just go, we will have time for each other later."

He gives you a quick kiss before he walks away, you look after him and let your eyes slide down and they linger over his ass that looks _very very_ delicious and yummy in those tight pants.

"Enjoying the view?" Diana says suddenly.

"I'm sorry." you say laughing.

"Does not matter. You have suppressed your feelings for two years and now you have finally expressed them it makes sense that you behave like this, I'm happy for you, really."

After a few minutes the play goes on, from the corner of your eye you see Tom come walking towards you again, you know he does not have to go on untill the second act and you turn your head so that he can give you a kiss. You are watching the act together and you feel how Tom's body turns to you slightly and his right arm snakes around your waist while his left hand seeks yours. When he finds it, he begins to play with your fingers and you giggle softly making you bury your face in his chest and Tom gently kisses your head.

"Gee, you look like a couple of teenagers." Diana says all of a sudden.

Tom looks at his mother over your head apologetically and she can not help the little laugh that escapes her. When Tom has to go back on stage he gives you a peck and then walks along with Hadley. Although you've seen the play countless times on tape you are just sucked into it, not only because of Tom but because everyone is playing amazing. Between the second and third acts, he does not have much time and remains together with Hadley near the stage. Then you realize what scene you're going to see in the third act, the kiss scene, you look around you and wonder whether it would be strange if you would leave.

"Keep your eyes on me, darling." you suddenly hear Tom's saying voice.

You blink your eyes, Tom undoubtedly knows what you were thinking and you wonder why he wants you to see it, you did clearly tell him you did not like to watch. Yet you stand still and when the appropriate scene starts you move back and forth in your place. Suddenly you see that the chair stands in a different angle then normal, the side is not facing to the audience, it's turned a little more. Then Tom all of a sudden sits on the chair and says his lines and when Birgitte sits down on his lap you look at him and as she kisses his lips and slowly descends to his neck, Tom looks up with a look in his eyes that takes your breath away, it tells you everything you need to know. He grins at you and gives you a wink, you are suddenly very hot, apparently his mother saw it too because she looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"What? Your son started it." you say defensively.

During the next intervals Tom remains with the rest of the cast to read the texts and you do not speak to him. When the scene with his death is forthcoming you become restless again, to see it on television you find difficult enough but to stand this close while he gets stabbed to death and hanged upside down is a whole other story. Diana notices it and looks at you.

"You want to leave?" she asks.

"Yeah, I just do not look like to look how he ...." you flails your arms.

"I know, I have been here a few times and find is also difficult so to see," she turns to you, "I can take you to his dressing room?"

"Do you think he would mind?"

"Maybe, but he will understand it."

"Okay, take me there then."

After a walk of a few minutes you come to a door which bears his name.

"Wait here for him," she says, "I'll tell him you're here."

"Thank you."

Before she leaves she gives you a hug. You wait until she's gone, and then you turn to the door, you let your fingers slide over his name and you feel pride welling up in you. Slowly you open the door and step inside. You've never been into a dressing room and when you have closed the door you look around you. To your left are some bookshelves with some books and other stuff in it, against the back wall is a desk with a chair and to the right of you is a large mirror with a door next to it. You walk in there and look inside, to your surprise, you see a bathroom with not only a toilet and sink, but also a fairly large shower. You think of Tom, who is now covered with fake blood and you immediately get an idea, you close the door and walk into the room. You are looking at yourself in the mirror and see that your shirt has some red smears and you think back to the moment that Tom held you. You smile and when you hear voices coming closer that you recognize as those of Tom and his mother walk you to the door.

"Have you recently heard of Lisa?" you hear Diana saying and you stop in your tracks.

Lisa? Who is Lisa?

"No, not for a few weeks."

"Any idea why she suddenly left you alone?"

"No idea, but I'm glad." Tom answers and you hear the relief in his voice.

"I understand that, she wrote you very unpleasant things at the end."

You frown your eyebrows, you've never heard the name Lisa and what things did she write?

"She did, but like I said, I'm glad she left me alone, I hope it stays that way, then y/n at least is also safe from her."

You are now very curious about who she is and why you would be safe but you constrain to open the door. As Tom says goodbye to his mother you walk away from the door and go standing next to the desk. When Tom opens the door he smiles when he sees you and closes the door, it does not escape you that he immediately turns the lock.

"So, where were we?"

He walks up to you and just like he wants to kiss you, you lay your hands on his chest.

"Who is Lisa?" you hear yourself asking before you know it.

Tom freezes and looks at you slowly.

"What?"

"Who is Lisa?" you repeat.

Tom sighs and takes some distance from you.

"You been eavesdropping on us?" he says accusingly and you hear in his voice that he is not happy about it.

"I'm sorry, it was not my intention, but ...."

"Lisa is no one."

"Was she a one-night stand?" you asks.

You have know idea where _that_ came from, you know very well Tom is not the type. Tom laughs and looks at you, he turns around and leans against the desk now, his hands find your waist and pulls you between his legs.

"No, she was not a one-night stand, you know I'm not the type."

"I know, but I also know that you're a man, and that you haven't had a girlfriend in the two years we know each other and each man has his needs."

Your arms are around his neck and he looks at you.

"Well, I still have two hands to satisfy my needs. And you know I never let go of my needs on someone for just one night, that's not me and moreover you were there too."

"Me? Are you telling me that I was the reason you haven't slept with any one?"

"You could say that." he says.

"You really shouldn't have, we weren't even together then, I would have forgiven you."

"But I would not have forgiven myself," he leans forward and kisses your neck, "I could never be intimately with another woman, never, even if the woman would be very attractive, I would not do it, there's only one woman that can satisfy me and that's you, it has always been you and it always ever will be you alone, y/n."

His hands slide down and rest on your buttocks, he presses you firmly against himself and you feel he is already half hard, you moan and let your fingers slip through his hair. He rolls his hips up and again you feel his erection.

"You feel that?"

You nod slowly.

"I'm so hard for you, y/n, and since I just confessed you're the only woman who can satisfy me..." he says and looks at you.

Well he doesn't need to tell you a second time, your hands go down, with one you cup you his erection while you lay the other on his cheek, you draw him towards you and kiss him passionately, he moans in his throat and immediately he pushes his tongue inside you. You let your tongues rotate around each other before you withdraw.

"I happen to have seen that you have a shower cubicle and since you are rather dirty." you say, and you look at him meaningfully.

Tom smiles and sits up, he lifts you by the thighs and you put your legs around his waist. He walks with you into the shower and sets you down, your hands go to the hem of his shirt and you pull it up, you eyes look at the bare skin you reveal and you see that the fake blood has even gone through the fabric of his shirt. You throw it on the floor and open his pants, because it is made of leather and he has been sweating under the lights that illuminate the stage, he helps you to pull it off. When his pants is next to his shirt it's his turn to undress you and you shiver every time his fingers make contact with your bare skin. Then he pulls you into the shower and puts you in the corner, at the moment he turns on the shower he covers you with his body to shield you from the cold water and you have to laugh a bit. Tom remains kissing you intensely and when the water is at the right temperature he pulls you with him under the spray without interrupting the kiss. He lifts you up again and when your legs are around his waist you feel his dick slide through your wet slit, you moan into his mouth. He pushes you against the wall and presses himself against you while he rolls his hips forward and back, still slightly let his dick go over your clit. Tom let his hands move up over your body and they caress your breasts, they gently go over your nipples until they are hard. You go crazy with pleasure and your head rolls back, Tom kisses and licks your neck and your hands through his wet hair, you also begin to roll your hips in search of friction, for something. You feel his hands sliding down and he grabs your hips, he stops kissing you and looks at you, he's smiling about how you look.

"I love seeing you like this, so disheveled, squirming in my arms, lips swollen from my kisses, and that I have caused it makes me feel so good," he says and leans in again to kiss your collorbone,"I feel so honored that you let me get this close to you, that you allow me to be your lover, that is all I have ever wanted, y/n."

His kisses go further down and when he reaches the swell of your breasts you can't take it anymore.

"If you want to keep it that way I suggest you fuck me so hard right now with that delicious big dick of yours I will be able to feel it for days." you say hoarse.

Tom smiles against your skin.

"There is that dirty mouth again," Tom says and he bites your breast making you squeal,"keep talking, darling."

"You could have just asked nicely instead of marking me."

"That is just me telling you that you belong to me. Now talk."

"Just do it, sting me with your sword, thrust it deep into my pussy, fuck me hard and make me scream your name."

"Hm, you make me so excited."

He let his hand go down and wriggles it between your bodies, it pushes on your clit and you gasp hard.

"Fuck, vous sentir tellement bonne, darling, si serrée, si magnifique."

"Make me feel that I am yours, make me tremble, rock my world, Tom."

He takes himself in hand and places his tip against your slit, without further ado he pushes himself deep and hard into you, he bucks his hips forward and pushes you with every thrust tightly against the wall, your legs strengthen their grip around his hips and you push your ankles in his lower back.

"Like that, just like that, make me feel it." you groan.

Tom's hands pushes your legs wider and his thrusts are becoming harder, his hands go to your butt and he begins to draw you towards him with each thrust and you feel the tip of his dick hit your pleasure spot with each thrust. You moan and gasp and when you feel your climax approaching and you dig your nails into his shoulders.

"So close, almost there, come on, Tom, stop worrying that you will hurt me, you won't, you would never so fuck me harder."

Your words encourage him, and he thrust harder than he has ever done. When his movements are irregular you know he is almost there, you lean forward and lick him under his ear and it is enough to make him shudder and to come, it also pushes you over the edge and let you yourself exhausted against the wall of the shower fall. Tom's face is in your neck and he breathes heavily, he rolls his hips a few times lightly and you feel the shocks going through your body.

"Damn, y / n," he breathes with difficulty, "if you promise that you talk to me more often like that during sex then I'll keep talking French to you."

"Deal."

He looks at you smiling and kisses you again before you wash each other and go home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:
> 
> vous sentir tellement bonne, darling, si serrée, si magnifique->You feel so good, darling, so tight, so magnificent


	7. Swimming pools and breakfast tables

As you walk to the exit, you suddenly remember that your luggage is still in Diana's car and when you want to say something suddenly a driver stands before you.

"Mr. Hiddleston."

"Tom, please." he says immediately.

"Your mother asked me to bring you and your lady home, her luggage is already in the back of the car."

"Well, look at that," Tom says, and he looks at you, "shall we, my lady?"

You laugh at him and go to the car, the driver holds the door open for you and you get in, followed by Tom. When the door is closed, he immediately pulls you on his lap and plants his lips in your neck. You're a little overwhelmed by the action, but soon you lay your head back to give him more space and your hands slip into his still damp hair. To quickly the car stops in front of his home and he helps you get out. When he wants to help with your luggage the driver stops him.

"Please, bring your lady inside, I'll take care of the luggage."

Hesitant Tom walks away from him and you take his hand to pull him to the door as he opens the door, you look around you, it's been at least a year since you've been here, and at first glance there he did not change much. You smile and walk to the room, in the middle of the large open space is a large sofa with two oversized chairs, to its left is the entire wall covered with with large bookcase and on the opposite wall hangs a large wide screen TV above a fireplace. Then you feel two arms go around your waist and you are pressed against a solid chest, you lay your head back and close your eyes, just enjoying the fact how good it feels so close to have him. When you open your eyes again you look through the large windows to the garden, and squinting your eyes when you think you see. a twinkle Slowly losen yourself from his embrace and walk over to the window.

"A swimming pool? You have a swimming pool in your backyard? When did that happen?" you ask and you open the sliding door to step outside.

"Not too long ago actually, my sister Emma comes here often with her two boys when I'm on location filming to take care of the post and the plants and they love swimming."

"So basically you say that that swimming pool is there for your nephews?"

"I guess, I have not been swimming in it myself yet, but now you're here I thought we might inaugurate it?"

"We're going to have a full-time job inaugurating stuff." you smile.

"Any objections?" he asks, his arms snaking around your waist again.

"Nope, none what so ever." you reply.

"Do you fancy a swim then?" he asks.

You turn in his arms and look at him.

"It's the middle of the night." you say.

"And? I do not have to get up early tomorrow, we can stay in bed until at least noon." he says and shrugs.

You look over your shoulder and then back at Tom.

"I do not have a swimsuit with me."

"Who says you need one? And besides, you will not be wearing it long anyway." he replies with a twinkle in his eyes.

His hands slide down and rests on your buttocks and he squeezes into it, you put your arms around his neck and kiss him on his lips. You moan in his mouth and push yourself closer to him. His hands go to the hem of your shirt and pulls it of slowly. Your pants soon then follows, you pull his pants and shirt off and throw it on the ground to join yours. You loosen yourself from him and walk to the stairs that disappears in the pool, you feel his eyes on you and throw him a sultry look over your shoulder. 

"Are you going to come join me?" you ask.

Tom smiles and follows you to the middle of the pool, he reaches his hands out to you, but at that moment you swim away to the edge of the pool. You can hear him laugh and when you turn around you do not see him. Because it is dark it takes a while but then you see that he swims right at you underwater. You put a few steps back, and when you feel the pool wall at your back you can see he puts his hands beside your body and comes up slowly. When he breaks through the surface he keeps silent for a moment as his head just sticks out of the water and he looks at you. He slides a hand through his hair, curls his thumbs in your slip and slowly he pulls it off you. Then he comes up further until he is at eye level with your breasts. His hands go to the back and he unhooks your bra, he pushes the straps of your shoulders and lets it fall into the water. He lifts you up and presses his hips against yours, and while his lips claim yours again you feel his dick gently go over your slit and you groan in his mouth, moving your hips seeking friction.

"Are you sure you do not want to take this upstairs?" you ask.

"Very sure, I want to take you right here."

"What if someone sees?"

"You know I'm very attached to my privacy, darling, no one will see."

Slowly he pushes his dick inside and you sigh longingly while Tom rolls his hips up to push his dick deeper into you. He stands up completely and you curl your hands around the edge of the pool. His thrusts continue to go slowly because of the moving water, his hands go up, and he frames your face, he puts your foreheads against each other and automatically your lips find each other, the kiss is slow and intense, tongues find each other and rotate around each other, after the kiss your eyes find each other and the promise of love that you find in his makes you feel your climax approaching. He sees and the thrusts go a little faster, his lips kiss their way to your ear. 

"Venu pour moi, ma chérie." he whisper in your ear.

It is enough to push you over the edge and you shiver in his arms, Tom follows you and you feel how he squirts his load into you. Exhausted, you fall against him, he puts his arms around you and rubs his hands over your back.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yes, yes just tired, that's all."

"Hold on." he says.

Just clamp your ankles behind his back and put your arms around his neck, he walks with you through the pool and the rubbing of his hands together with the rippling water around you slowly lulls you to sleep and before you lie in bed with Tom close to you you are asleep.

The following morning you wake up and you instantly miss a warm body pressed against you so your arm moves to the place next to you but instead of a warm body you find a cold empty place. You turn your head and see that Tom is indeed gone. Your eyes fall ont he alarm clock that shows you it is just after nine in the morning. "What happened to sleeping till noon?" you mumble to yourself. You're definitely not a morning person and normally you would turn around and go back to sleep but you miss Tom beside you and slowly you sit up and look around, the bedroom is spacious, with beige carpeting and light blue paint ont the walls, a few tables and some paintings on the wall and you chuckle when you see a couple of coloring pages which are undoubtedly made by some of Tom's younger fans and you think it really sweet that he put them on the walls right next to some really expensive ones. On both sides of the bed stands a bedside table and when you look at the right wall you see a door that you know was not there the last time. You get up and walk over to open it, and what you see has you almost gasping for breath.

In the middle is room to walk and right in front of you is a mirror that covers the entire wall, so you are also confronted with your naked body and quickly turn your gaze. The first cabinet is filled with neat black trousers, the following with clean waistcoats jackets and shirts in different colors and in between there is a lower cabinet with drawers and when you open them you see cufflinks ties, bow ties, and even tie clips lying. A little further to the back you see the the clothes hanging you know from Tom, jeans; black, blue, faded, and in the other closet a rich collection of t shirts, sweaters and blouses.You laugh and you think that a lot can change in a year, your eyes go over the neat clothes and your eyes fall on a deep green shirt. You bite your lip remembering something Tom has told you, and you walk to it. You take it off the hanger and open the buttons, when you put it on and the fabric glides over your skin, you realize that it could be satin. You button it up, and then look in the mirror. The hem hangs just below your thighs and because you decide to keep the top three buttons open, give him a generous view of the sides of your breasts. When you turn you see the same space that Toms has but it is all empty and you wonder if that is for you.

You leave the walk in closet and walk to the hallway, immediately the smell of coffee meets you and suddenly you're awake, unconsciously you walk a little quicker and once downstairs you walk into the kitchen. Tom stands behind the stove with just a boxer and for just a moment you enjoy the view. His long legs, his thighs and his ass and how lovely it looks in that boxer. You let your eyes go over his bare back and see how his muscles tens and relax under the skin and you have to restrain yourself not to reach out and touch him. Leaning against the door you clear your throat.

"Almost ready, love, only have ......."

His words die on his lips when he sees you standing. You hold your wrists behind your back so that the shirt falls open and your breasts are fairly visible, you bite your lip and look at him through your lashes.

"What?" you ask as innocent as possible.

"Good heavens, y/n, you trying to murder me, aren't you?" he says as his eyes admiringly go over your body and linger on your breasts

"I can take it off, if it's too much." you say nonchalantly, and your hands are already going to the buttons.

"Don't you dare." he says suddenly.

Your hands stop halfway through the act, and you look at him quizzically.

"If there is anyone who will take that off of you than it will be me," he says, grinning, "I knew you would look sexy in my shirt ... ... but that sexy..."

You blush from his words and smile at him, Tom comes towards you, but you avoid him and walk over to the coffee pot to pour some coffee for yourself, you stand with your back to him and when you reach for a mug you stretch yourself out slightly further than is strictly necessary and you can hear him moaning softly in his throat. You smile and when you have a mug of coffee, turn around and lean against the counter while you look at him. He still stares at you from the same place that you just vacated.

"Shouldn't you look at that?" your question and nod to the scrambled eggs he is making.

"What?" he says and then looks at the pan, "Oh, right."

Tom walk over to the pan and stirs in it again. You half turn to him and look around him to the eggs while you lie your arm around his waist and hook your thumb in the waistband of his boxer as you breathe in deeply.

"Hmm, that smells really good." you say near his ear and you push yourself a little closer to him.

You hear Tom's breathing hitch in his throat and he even closes his eyes to get himself under control.

"You're really lucky that I'm hungry."

"Because ...?"

Suddenly Tom turns off the gas and turns around, before you can react, he has you pinned against the wall and his lips find yours in a heated kiss. He liftst you up effortlessly and pushes you against the wall while he grabs your buttocks and rolls his hips against yours and you feel how hard he already is. Just as suddenly he lets you go and steps away from you. Your head is still spinning when he gives you a pat on your buttocks.

"Will you get the plates darling?" he says, as if nothing has happend and suddenly you're the one who needs to catch her breath.

You pull your shirt straight and grab two plates and cutlery, you sit and wait for Tom to lay some scrambled eggs on your plate while Tom sits down next to you and he looks at you.

"Are you okay? You seem a little flushed."he says.

You just stick out your tongue to him making him chuckle and begin eating. You eat in relative silence, but it's not uncomfortable, despite the fact that it has been months ago that you were alone together, you feel very at ease with him.

"I saw the empty closets upstairs." you start.

"For you," he says and looks at you, "was the first thing I did when I came home, make room for your clothes. In the bathroom I also made place of your things."

"I'll go unpack after breakfast then."

"After you've bought new breakfast table over the internet." he says.

"Why? Is this broken?" you ask, and you look at the legs of the table.

"Not yet, but maybe after breakfast it will." he answers vaguely.

"Because ....?" you question him.

"Because after breakfast I am going to fuck you so hard on this table, I can not guarantee that it will survive." he says.

You can barely keep a strangled moan inside and when Tom looks at you with eyes full of lust you already feel wet between your legs. You get your plate empty with difficulty and fidget a little back and forth in your seat. Tom keeps looking at you from the corner of his eye. Finally your plate is empty and you slide it away from you and when Tom's plate is also empty, he gets up and grabs yours to place it in the sink. Just as you want to stand Tom grabs you by the hand and pulls you up, he pushes you firmly against himself and his lips plant themselves in your neck, kissing and licking as he works his way to your ear.

"I believe, my dear," he whispers sensually in your ear, "I have promised you a hard fuck."

You tremble at his words and in a ferocious move he tears your shirt open and buttons are flying around, you give a little shriek which turns into a moan as he covers your breasts with his hands and massages them. He pushes you back against the table and forces you to sit down, he puts himself right between your legs and his lips claim yours. The kiss is compelling and he pushes his tongue inside you, you open your lips for him and your tongue meets his. Your arms go around his neck and his hands slide under your buttocks to draw your tightly against him. He rolls his hips forward and your moan from the friction that his hard dick gives you wet slit. 

"Lie back." he said hoarsely.

You obey immediately and slide yourself on the table and you lie down with Tom still between your legs. You bite your lip as he hooks his thumbs in your slip and he pulls it abruptly off you. Then he takes off his boxer and let it slip of his hips and your eyes go straight to his hard dick. You bite your lip and your legs go up so you can put them around his waist and draw him towards you, both of you moan as the tip of his dick makes contact with your wet slit but Tom puts his hands on the table and maintains himself in place.

"Impatient?" he asks.

"Come on, Tom, do not make me wait any longer, fill me up, make me scream your name like only you can." you say.

Tom moans deep in his throat and puts one of your legs over his shoulder and the other he hoist up on his hip, in one hard deep thrust he fills you completely, your moan and let out a little scream.

"Come on, y/n, take it, I know you can."

Tom grabs your hips and pulls you to him so that your buttocks lies just on the edge of the table and starts to thrust hard, he penetrates your deeper than he has ever done and every thrust brings you closer to your climax. Tom reaches over you and covers your body with his own so he can grab the edge of the table and he places more power behind his thrusts.

"You feel amazing." he gasps.

Your abdominal muscles pull together every time you roll your hips up with each thrust he makes. You can hear the table protesting under the pressure and the legs scraping across the wooden floor of your rough coupling and although the thrusts are hard and rough you want more, you crave more.

"Come on, Tom, fuck me harder."

He moans and bites your earlobe, the thrusts go faster but remain hard and when they become irregular, you know that he is almost at his peak.

"God, I'm so close, darling."

Your hands go into his hair and you pull him towards you to kiss him, his hand goes down and he caresses your clit and when he breaks the kiss and his breathing hitches his eyes find yours and together you come to a climax. You gasp and put your arms around him to press him close to you, Tom kisses your neck and comes up slowly.

"I love you so fucking much, y/n. Promise me you'll never leave me." he says, and you are surprised by the emotion in his voice.

"Of course I'm never leaving you, I promise that I will stay with you for the rest of my life." your answer and you give him a kiss on his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translation:
> 
> Venu pour moi, ma chérie->Come for me, darling


	8. Making a home

After Tom helps you to get off the table and you pick up your shirt you give him a kiss and you walk to the stairs, you suitcases are already upstairs and after putting on underwear, jeans and a shirt you lay the suitcase on the bed and the first thing you do is hanging your shirts up. Then you fold your jeans and place them in the drawers. The few dresses that you have you hang in the second closet that remains empty for more than half while the closet with shirts is almost too small. When you have put away all the clothes you pick the smaller suitcase and take it to the bathroom for you toothbrush shampoos and other things to store there. Finally, you place your shoes in the closet. You have the same cabinet as Tom for jewelry because you do not really attache great value to such things that also remains fairly empty. Than you sigh and look around the area now occupied by the things you and Tom together have and it surprises you how good it feels, how right.

Back downstairs, you walk to the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee and then you walk into the room, you see things that make you think of Tom's movies scattered everywhere. Posters, stuffed animals with clothes on, drawings, sculptures and other creative things that he has had from his fans. Tom knows very well that he is where he is k now thanks to his fans and as long as you know him he has always treated his fans good, always takes time for them to go on a picture with them and to give them a signature. That is one of the reasons why his fans adore him so much, something that if it comes always makes Tom feel a little uneasy, he does not see himself as someone who should be treated as such, he sees himself simply as someone who does what he likes to do most, giving the fans the best of himself.

"Are you feeling a little at home yet?" you hear Tom ask.

You look around and see him with a stack of mail.

"Fanmail." he says.

You smile at him and when he sits down on the desk which is placed against the back of the couch you sit yourself down in the corner of the couch while watching him. He opens the mail and reads every letter and sometimes a smile forms on his lips.

"Are you already finished with unpacking?" he asks.

"Yeah, I did not have much, half the closet is still empty," you say, laughing, "and the cabinet for the jewelry is almost completely empty."

"I am planning to change that. "he says as he opens a letter.

"Yeah? Are you going to buy jewelry for me?" you ask, a faint smile on your lips as you sip your coffee.

"I will buy everything you want, jewelry, dresses, you name it you got it."

You sit up and reach over to take his hand and he looks at you.

"You do not have to do that."

"I know, but I want it, I'd give you the world if I could." he says, eyes serious as they look at you.

"Yourself is more than enough." you say smiling.

Tom smiles and carresses your knuckels before planting a kiss on it and he goes back to his mail. He opens a large envelope and pulls out a drawing and he frowns.

"What is it?" you ask.

"This," he says and turns the drawing so you can see it, "I get more drawings where she is also on, but I have no idea who she is."

"You don't know Elsa?" you ask surprised.

"No, I don't, please educate me."

"She is from Frozen." you say.

"That's Disney right?" he asks uncertain.

"Yes, Elsa and Loki have some things in common, she's a Princess, wise and intelligent, which Loki is also but the main reason that the fans portray you together is I think because Elsa, like Loki, can manipulate ice."

"And you have seen it?"

"Several times."

"Is it good?" he asks.

"It's amazing, it has broken several records when it comes to bringing in money. It has raised $ 1,129 billion dollar worldwide and in Japan it alone raised $ 104.1 million dollar and the list goes on with broken records."

"You're kidding." it sounds incredulous.

"I told you, it's brilliant."

"Well then I must also have a look then."

"But without me." you quickly say.

"What? Why?"

"Well, because I at least watched it 5 times each time I had to cry." you answer, the latter so softly that Tom barely hears.

"You are afraid to express your emotions in my presence? That's not good."

"It's not about emotion, the point is that I look like a mess when I have cried. I want to save you from that."

Tom has stood up and sits down next to you, his arm goes around your waist and he pulls you to him.

"Now I am sure you are there when I look at it."

"So you can make fun of me when I cry at an animation film me?" you say.

"I would never dare to," he says, and lays his hand on his heart, "but seriously, darling, I have worked on an animated film and what they put on the big screen is incredible, they make it so real that you really sympathize with the characters, it's just an ordinary film. It is quite normal. "he says and kisses your forehead.

"I do not know." you say doubtfully.

"I do, I'll call my sister, maybe she has it on DVD."

Before you can protest Tom has the phone already in his hands and he leaves the room. Although he has been in London for the past 2 months, he stays on the phone with his sister for a long time and you admire the bond between brother and sister. As an only child you have always wanted to have a brother or sister to play with or take care for even though your mom and dad made sure you lacked nothing. You put the coffee cup down and walk around the room, when your eye falls on the trashbin that bulges out and you venture a glance over your shoulder when you hear laughter. You walk to the trashbin and pulls it out of the bucket, seal it and after you've indicating to Tom that you are going to throw it out. Tom nods and you walk out, you put the trash down and take the lid of the bin and when you lift the trashbag you notice too late that the bottom gets stuck on something and it rips open.

"Shit." you mumble.

You pick up the bag with two hands and throw it away quickly and then bent down to pick up the other letters and throw them away when your eyes suddenly see a name; Lisa. Your stomach turns when you think of the words that Tom and his mother had the evening before. You also remember how Tom reacted after you mentioned the name, and for a moment you hesitate, your eyes go to the house, no sign of Tom and you pick up the letters and unfold them carefully. Your eyes dart over the papers.

_dear Tom_

_I'm Lisa, I have been following you for years and I'm your biggest fan, I'm so grateful that the rest of the world finally knows what I have known myself for years; that you are the best and most handsome actor who has ever walked the earth. I have all your films and series on dvd and whenever I have the change I look at them and marvel at how talented you are._

You smile and when you're halfway through the stack and still have not encountered alarming things you wonder why Tom reacted that way to her name but when you read the last few letters your blood turns cold.

_My darling Tom,_

_I know you're busy with filming and the time you're free you surely want to spend with your family, I know how close you are with your mother and sisters, and therefore you can not answer all the letters that you get. Yet I often read that you are trying to answer many letters even if only a few words, why not mine? I'm your biggest fan, and I still deserve a little attention from you after all the time and attention that I have spent writing mine to you, ot is that to much to ask? I've recently seen The Avengers again and you're so sexy as Loki, so hot. If I could get my fingers on him....., but then I realize that Loki is a character, and that you, the perfect man, is behind it. And I would much prefer you no matter how perfect Loki is. I will give you one more chance to answer my letters._

Quickly you crumple the letter and take the last one.

_Dear Tom,_

_Apparently you are too busy to give your biggest and most loyal fan attention. I spent the last days looking around on the Internet if I could find an address of you somewhere. Sadly, nothing, but I'll keep looking and I will find you to show you personally how much you mean to me. I know that you are single, something that really surprised me, such a beautiful handsome guy like you and then have no girlfriend? I understand that sometimes all those screaming girls around you drive you crazy no matter how nice you treat them, that they all dream about keeping you company in your bed, but that's not like you, you do not want a girl, you want a real woman. Hm, I wonder how long it's been since you've had a real woman in your bed, something I would like to change, if you would just give me an change I can show you moves that will rock your world, my love._

Your blood turns cold and and you stumble back a bit, suddenly having the feeling you are being watched and you eyes dart around. Tom has a fairly long private driveway and the house is only visible from the street if you look closely. And you must also get through a fence to get to it. You look at the date of the letter, a few weeks ago, as Tom also previously told his mother. You bite your lip and look around you again and when you hear a rustling sound somewhere between the bushes you freeze. You look at it but see nothing, only some leaves that move back and forth. You slowly walk over to it, letters clutched in your hand, you get more nervous with every step you take and when suddenly a cat shoots out from under the bushes, you almost jump out of your skin of alarm and back up and when there is suddenly an arm around your waist you turn with a jerk and almost automatically raise your hand up, but just in time you see Tom standing.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

"Yes, fine, everything okay" you say breathlessly, "I....uh, heard something."

You gesture with your hand towards the bush and then look at Tom.

"And that's why your so scared? Because you heard something in the bushes?" he says and looks at you suspiciously.

"Yes," then you realize that you are still holding the letters and you crumple them.

"What is that?" he asks.

"Nothing, I wanted to throw the garbage bag away but it tore open and this fell out."

You quickly walk past him but he grabs your wrist and holds you back.

"Y/N, what is that?" he asks, a little more urgent.

You know it is to no use to try to hide them from him and you slowly show him the letters, Tom takes them from you and his face clouds when he sees what letters it are.

"Y/N, are you serious, this is what got you spooked?"

"They fell out, I didn't look for them or something." you say defensively.

"I sure you didn't but really, she has long forgotten me."

"It did not sounded like that in her last letter, she sounded very convincing about finding you and when I read what she wants to do with you..." you mutter.

Tom chuckles and kisses your head.

"Even if she does find me I can handle myself and about that other part, I am pretty sure that your moves are much more to my liking," then he leans back and looks at you,"do you feel safe here?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"You are, I have a big high fence with alarm, if anyone would break in, an alarm will go off in the house, if she is still following me then you are safe here, and I would also never allow anything to happen to you, you know that, right? "

"I know, but you sometimes hear those stories ..."

"Y/N," Tom frames your face with his hands and looks at you, "listen to me, there are a lot of crazy fans out there and the stories you hear about those fans who get to their idols are the exception on the rule, the vast majority are stopped in time. No one will get to me and no one will get to you, okay?"

You close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm your nerves.

"Okay." you say softly.

"Say it." he says.

You repeat the sentence and them look at him.

"Good," then he leans in and kisses you,"now, come on, let's go back inside."

Tom throws away the letters and then lifts you up by the hips, you squeel at the sudden move and place your arms and legs around him. He walks you back inside and while his hands still carres your back and your head is on his shoulder. His lips kiss your neck where it meets your shoulder and you suddenly shudder in his arms.

"Oh you like that?" he asks and suddenly stops walking.

You nod your head and he does it again and when he scrapes his teeth over your skin you moan softly and your fingers slip in his hair.

"Tom..."

"Hm?" he murmers in your ear.

You smile and push yourself against him while je walks with you to the couch and he sits down, making you straddle him. His hands slip under your shirt and slowly go up leaving goosebumps in their wake. You smile and close your eyes when you feel his fingers ghosts along your breasts. He slides up your shirt and you reach your arms up so he can take it off you and he throws it on the ground, you open the buttons of his shirt and slide it open. Your fingers go over his muscles and they twitch under your fingers, you feel his hands move over your back and while he cups your breasts his lips find yours and he kisses you intensely and long. After the kiss you look at each other and his hands slide to your jeans, he pops open the button and pulls the zipper down slowly, then he places his hand on your abdomen and lets it slip into your jeans. He caresses your slit and you moan while you let your head fall back.

"Shit, y/n, I can feel through your panties just how wet you are for me." he whispers against the skin of your neck.

You roll your hips forward in his hand and he moves aside your panties to let a finger dip inside you.

"I want you."

"You already have me, sweetheart."

You sigh and let your hand move down to cup him through his jeans.

"Oh you want that?"

"Yes."

"Oh you want me to fuck you?" he says and pushes his finger deeper inside you.

"God yes."

"How do you feel about we inaugurating the couch, sweetie?"

You can only moan and as his fingers finds your clit he lets the tip of his finger move over your clit making you buck your hips forward.

"Hold on, love." he says.

You place your arms around his neck and he lays you gently down on the couch, then he gets up and pulls your jeans off of you, quickly followed by your panties. Then he comes forward and lets his hands slip under your body to the clasp of your bra to take that of too. He sit back on his knees between your legs and lets his eyes go over your naked body.

"You're so fucking beautiful, y/n." he says, adoration sounding in his voice.

"Come here." you say and you reach your hands out to him.

Tom smiles at you and sets his hands beside your head, one of your hands is in his hair and the other slides under his shirt to his back. A long kiss follows, sensual and intense, and eventually you have to push him away from you to catch your breath. Tom's lips follow a path down and he bites playfully in your nipple, you arch your back from the couch and the hand on his back goes to the front and you slide it in his pants, stroking him through the fabric of his boxer and he moans in his throat. Tom comes up slightly so you can slide down the pants and boxer far enough to free his erection. Tom lets his body slowly cover yours while he kisses you intensly again. Then he pushes your legs apart and you place your left leg over the back of the couch and the other around his hips. Tom takes himself in hand and lets his tip drag over your slit before he pushes it inside you.

"Fuck......" he breaths into your neck.

You moan and both hold still to savor the moment, then Tom grabs the arm of the couch and he begins thrust into you, slowly but hard and deep. Your hand goes from his abdomen back to his back and further down, they find his buttocks and you squeeze it hard. Your hips begin to roll up in the same rhythm as his and you hear his breathing become heavier. Tom's thrust become more powerful and he hooks his fingers under your knee to hoist your leg further up over his hip and to push himself deeper inside you. One last thrust and you simultaneously come reach a climax. Tom moans and snakes his arm around your waist while he turns on his side and takes you with him. During the movement you feel him slipping out of you and you moan softly.


	9. Relaxing

Tom pulls you closer to him and you lay your head against his chest, you hear his breathing become slower and youself know he's going to fall asleep.

"Tom?"

"Hm."

"I feel safe here, with you," you look at him and see that he looks at you, "I know I reacted exaggerated to the letters, but I was just shocked, but I want you to know that the safest place I know is in your arms."

Tom smiles at you and the arm around your waist pulls your up slightly so he can kiss you, you youself are happy to meet him and stretch youself out until your lips touch. You place your leg over his waist and press your lower body against him and you laugh when you feel he is already half hard.

"You are insatiable." you sigh.

"Of course I am, I had to keep my hands off of your gorgeous body for two years, I have pushed aside my feelings for you for two years and now that I am finally allowed to touch you I want to take you whenever I can and whenever you wil allow me." he answers, and he bites gently into your lip.

You groan and slide up your arm across his chest and it disappears into his hair and you give him some room when his hand snakes down between your bodies and it caresses your clit. You shiver under his touch because of your recent orgasm and Tom hesitates but when you roll your hips forward, he smiles against your lips. You let you hand go down and carres him slowly until he is hard again.

"Take me again, Thomas." you gasp.

"Oh God.."

"What?" you say a little concerned.

"I know it's just a name but when you use it....god, you make it sound so sexy." he purs into your ear.

"Well, it suits you them, Thomas."

Tom takes himself in hand and slowly leads his erection inside you, you lay your head in your neck and moan while you roll your hips forward. Tom groans and rolls his hips against yours, penetrating you slowly but deeply and for a few long minutes the only thing to be heard in the room is your skin meeting and your ragged breathing. Tom eventually lays on his back and pulls you with him while his erection remains buried deep inside you. You put your hands on his chest and rock your hips back and forth and you switch it off with a rotating motion that emits a deep groan from Tom.

"Fuck, you're killing me here."

You smile at his reaction and repeat the movement again, then Tom grabs your hips and pulls his legs up to put his feet flat on the couch. He then takes your hands and he laces his fingers with yours to push you backwards until you lean against his thighs. Then he puts his hands together with yours on your hips and thrust up hard into you, his top finding the innermost place inside you and your eyes fall closed with pleasure.

Tom tightens his grip on your hips and ensures that you can barely move and it gives him the opportunity to send to his thrusts exactly where he wants them and every time he hits you pleasure spot, you open your eyes and stare into his bright blue eyes now almost black with desire.

"Kiss me." he gasps.

You lean forward and put your hands on the armrest, your lips kiss him fiercely and you moan between them when the tempo goes up.

"Oh God .."

"Come on, almost ...."

You let a hand go down and caress your clit, it does not take long before you reach your climax and your walls close around his shaft, you look at him and see that he has closed his eyes, fully concentrating on the reaching his own climax. You lean forward and kiss the sensitive spot on his neck and let your tongue go over it.

"Come for me, Thomas." you purr in his ear.

It's the final push he needs and you feel him cum inside you.

"Fuck."

You smile against his skin and come up slowly.

"You're incredible, y/n."

"Ah, you're not so bad either."

You sit up and Tom comes after you, his arms snake around your waist and he pulls you close to him.

"From now on you will always call me Thomas during sex." he says, still panting a little.

"Of course."

Suddenly you hear your stomach growl and you look at Tom apologetically.

"Your hungry," he says and looks doubtful, "is it okay if we order in?" he asks.

"Sure, I'll go take a shower and call my broker agent if there is any news about the house."

You get ofhim and give him a kiss before you take your clothes and walk upstairs to take a shower.

When you come down again half an hour later refreshed and dresses you stand in the doorway of the kitchen.

"That was fast." you say.

"I have an address in London where I frequently order dinner, usually the same, a bit of everything, and who I am helps a bit," he laughs, "can you take two plates and some cutlery out on the terrace?"

"Of course."

You take two plates and cutlery and walk to the terrace, you put them down on the table and then change your mind. You walk to the comfy lounge chairs and put the plates on the low table. Then you walk to the railing, you breath in deeply and close your eyes. You let the events of the last days past before your eyes and you smile, you never dreamed that life could ever be so complete, so full of love and above all full of Tom. Your startled when you suddenly feel two arms around your waist and two lips in your neck.

"Sorry, I did not mean to scare you."

"Does not matter."

You let your hands glide over his arms and turn your head to give him a kiss.

"Come, let's eat." he says.

He takes you to the lounge chairs and let yourself fall in it, you are amazed at all the food on the table and look at him.

"I will soon have four hours on stage, the next opportunity to eat is late tonight, or tomorrow morning, depending on how you look at it."

You put some food on your plate and you sit cross-legged, Tom does the same and turns to you.

"Did you call your broker?" he asks.

"There have been four viewers that's pretty much in two days, but he thinks it's because the price is so low. Most think that there is something wrong with the house." you laugh.

"Did he also tell why it has to be sold so quickly?"

"Yes, but most want to be surethat the house really is in order so they will wait for the structural inspection."

"Logically, when it is ready?"

"Somewhere next week." you sigh.

Even you eat in silence and then suddenly you see a silver dish stand with a lid.

"What's beneath that?" you ask.

"You'll see," Tom replies, "but keep some space left, I'm sure you do not want to miss this."

"Hm, a dessert?" you ask.

Tom only smiling and continues eating. When you are done eating you lean back into the cushions

"That was so good." you sigh.

"I'll say, almost everything is gone, but I do hope you left some space for this."

Tom's hand goes to the lid and pulls it up.

"Apple Pie! I love apple pie." you say and come up again.

"I know, therefore I also ordered one."

It's already cut and Tom takes a piece for you and puts it on a plate, he takes a piece too and when you want to grab yours he holds you back.

"Wait a minute, apple pie is complete without this."

Suddenly he has an aerosol with whipped cream in his hand and your eyes begin to shine.

"Did I tell you that I love you." you say.

Tom laughs and applys a generous heap of whipped cream on your piece.

"Not so much!" you say and push his hand away, "I'm already not one of the slimmest."

"So?" he asks as he gives you the piece.

"So? I need to think about my weight, you do not want me to get fat, do you?"

"My darling, I do not care how big you are, then there is just more of you to love." he says.

You look at him as he gives himself some whipped cream and you frown your eyebrows.

"You mean that?" you ask softly.

"Of course I do."

Tom begins eating the piece but looks at you while you play with the apple pieces with your fork.

"You do not trust my words?"

"I do not know."

"You really think me that shallow? That I would only be with someone by the way they look?" he says and you hear the hurt in his voice.

"It's just...., well look at you,"you say, waving your hands towards him," you can get anyone you want, the most beautiful women are almost fighting for your attention. All equally slim, just think about it; You on the red carpet with a beautiful slender woman in a gorgeous dress, model material type. I, curvaceous and not so much model material type, just plain, normal."

"And I need normal," he says and places his plate back on the table followed by yours.

Then he scoots over and takes your hands in his cupping your cheeck in his other, you smile and look at him.

"In the past year it has became so hectic and chaotic around my little person that I need you to keep me on the ground with both feet, you keep me grounded and besides, I love the fact that you curves so I can grab you when I have my way with you in bed."

To emphasize his words he grabs your sides and pulls you on his lap, you laugh and let your arms go around his neck.

"And I hope that one day you'll have a nice round belly." he says and caresses it.

"What? Why?"

"Because I am planning to make you pregnant with my child," he whispers in your ear and his words sent a shiver through your body.

"Yeah? You want kids with me?"

"Oh love, I want everything with you, if there has ever been anyone with whom I would like to start a family with then it's you, it has always been you, y/n, I can not imagine giving them a better mother than you."

"It can be a challenge." you warn him.

"I know, broken nights, changing dirty poo diapers, trying to get screaming kids to quiet down while they drive you to madness, but if there is one thing I know it is that as long as you are by my side I can handle everything."

He leans back and looks at you, giving you such a honest look it takes your breath away and you lean forward to kiss him. After the kiss you embrace him tightly.

"I would be honored to give you children, Tom, I can not think of a better father." you whisper in his ear.

Your get together is interrupted by the doorbell.

"That will be Emma." he says.

"Emma? What's she doing here?"

"She would come to bring along DVD before she would pick up the kids from school." he explains.

You climb of his lap and stand up, Tom grabs your hand and together you walk to the door, when you reach the hallway you let him go and stay there while he opens the door.

"Hey sis." he says and gives Emma a hug.

"Hey movie star." she replies.

Then she looks around him to you and gives you a smile.

"And hey you!"

She walks up to you and you automatically laugh when she immediately gives you big hug. The times you've seen Emma you can count on one hand but right from the beginning there was a click between you, just like between you and Tom.

"It's so good to see you." she says.

"It's good to see you again too, Emma."

When she lets go of you she just looks you and when Tom comes to stand next to you and takes your hand she shakes her head.

"You two, look disgustingly happy," she says,"and that in turn makes me happy."

You laugh and Tom kisses the top of your head.

"I have no time to stay the boys are waiting for me but I'll call you soon."

She gives you a quick hug before she is gone.

"Wow, that was .... refreshing." you laughs.

"Okay, movie?" Tom asks.

He walks ahead to the DVD player but you keep a little bit at a distance looking at him. You are for sure that you will not be able to keep it dry and you still hesitate. When Tom turns around he beckons with his finger that you should come to him. You walk up to him and take his hand so he can pull you beside him on the couch.

"Are you sure about this? Me crying is not a pretty sight." you warn him.

"Honey, I just confessed that I want to share everything with you in this life." he says, kissing your cheek.

"Fine, but do not you dare to laugh at me."

"I would never," he says, placing his hand over his heart,"but you might need this."

He reaches behind him and holds up a full box of tissues, you take it and slap him on the arm with it.

"Sorry, now let's watch."

Tom sits against the backrest of the couch and lays his left arm over the back, you make use of the situation by pulling your legs under your body and put your head on his shoulder, immediately Tom lays his arm around you and pulls you closer to him. It already starts after five minutes when Elsa wounds Anna and during the next few minutes you have more and more trouble keeping the tears inside and you bite your lip to keep them inside but when you feel Tom's finger tugging your lip from between your teeth you look up.

"Please don't, let it go." he says.

So do you and Tom lovingly wipes them away, you put your head back on his shoulder and his fingers gently caress your upper arm. It's less akward than you thought to cry in his presence, and do not bother to wipe them away, you just let them roll and occasionally Tom wipes them away. The next problem comes when during the feast of Elsa's crowning her true nature emerges and she flights.

While Elsa builds the ice castle you hear Tom whistle appreciative.

"I now understand why she and Loki are often associated with each other but I doubt Loki could do that." Tom says.

Then there is a lot of laughter by you about especially Olaf and Sven.

"Those two are great!" Tom laughs.

Then Anna and Kristoff then arrive at the ice castle to take Elsa back with them but Elsa begs them to leave, another difficult moment for you. Tom feels your body shaking and rubs his hand over your back, indicating that it is okay. When the scene is over, he kisses your cheek.

"You know, even I got emotional during that scene." he whispers.

You look up and see that he does indeed have moist eyes, your smile, and come up to kiss him. After the kiss, he frames your face and kisses your tears away, then you take your place again and look at the rest of the movie. Then Hans shows his true nature.

"You know, he is somewhat similar to Loki." Tom says.

"Shut up." you tell him and give a slap in his stomach.

And then there is the end of the movie of course, with Anna who practically sacrifices herself to save Elsa and then the crushed Elsa. You watch the film and silent and when the end credits roll Tom lays his index finger under your chin and tilts your head. He looks at you quizzically and just when you want to say something he frowns.

"You lied to me." he says.

"What?" you say, not understanding what he means.

"You said you were a mess when you've been crying."

"Oh, jeez, yes, well, it doesn't make me beautiful either." your answer smiling.

"You're always beautiful, even when you cry." Tom says.

You look at him and he leans forward to kiss you, then he looks at the clock.

"I should go to the Donmar." he says.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Do you mind if I stay here? I have had little sleep the last two nights."

"Of course not." Tom answers.

He stands up and together you walk into the hallway, Tom puts on his coat and pulls you in his arms to kiss you.

"I love you so very much y/n." he says.

"I love you too. You want me to stay up for you?"

"That would be nice but you don't have too."

"I'll see then."

One last kiss and then he's gone.


	10. unpleasant surprise

As soon as Tom is gone you close the door and walk to the terrace to bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen. You look around and giggle, Tom has clearly used his money to create a kitchen that is as modern possible; large black tiles on the floor, white walls and a fitted kitchen with everything in it that you could ever want. In the middle of the kitchen is a large cooking island with ceramic cooker and a large double sink. You can not remember that Tom is such a fan of cooking, but when you see this you seriously start to doubt.

You put the dishes away and see if you see a dishwasher and when you find it, you place the dishes in it and close it again. You then walk up and pull on a sweatpants and just when you want to grab a jersey your hand stops mid movement. Your head turns to Tom's side of the closet and then to his sweaters, you let your fingers go over them and stop at a deep blue one. You pull it from the hanger and pull it on. You press your nose in the jersey and to your surprise, it still smells like him.

You walk back down and nestle yourself in the couch, Tom might have said that you don't have to stay awake for him but still you want to try it and if you manage to get some sleep that maybe you can. Then you realize what you and Tom have done on the same couch only a few hours ago and you smile. You still can not believe your live has changed so drastically in a few days and you're so thankful that Tom has made the first move because you doubt whether you would ever have had the courage to do it yourself. Not only because you feared to be rejected and lose his friendship but also because he can have practically any women he chooses, and the fact that he has chosen you to be with fills you with pride. You think back to the words his mother told you when she picked you up, that he showed more care with you then he did with any other woman and that at the few parties you have been to together he always kept his eye in you. You can honestly say you have never noticed, or maybe you did but you just woulnd't admit it to yourself just to give yourself an excuse not to do or say something. You snuggle further in the luscious couch and close your eyes.

When you open your eyes you see nothing, you blink a few times and notice that it is dark around you. You come up slowly and the clock on the wall shows ten o'clock. It will be at least two hours before Tom comes home. The lights in the garden draw your attention and you walk to the glass door, lay your hand on it and look outside. Just when you want turn around you think you see a shadow, and you squint your eyes to get a better look. When you suddenly see a shadow on the fence running towards the street, you put your hand over your mouth and you take two steps back.

"No, it can not be," you say to yourself, "I'm imagining things."

You slowly take a step forward and open the glass door, hesitantly you take two steps on the terrace and look around. The lighting is not strong and there are a few dark spots where someone might hide, your mind suddenly goes to earlier today to Lisa. She would not ....? No, no, Tom himself said he has not heard of her for weeks, he's probably right, she has gone on to another. You shake the thoughts out of your head and walk back inside, close the glass door and lock it. Then you walk to the front door and just when you want to lock that you see something lying on the mat. You turn your head and look at it. That was not there when Tom left. You bent down to pick it up and turn it over.

_You're not supposed to be in this house, this is my house, your living my life bitch_

Your heart skips a beat and without hesitation you grab the key and turn the lock. You rush to the couch and jump on it, the note still clutched in your hand and look at it again. It is typed, you can not compare it with the handwriting of Lisa. Suddenly you do not feel safe anymore, you also find it too quiet around you and your hand grabs the remote to turn on the TV but there is no program that can calm you down. Then you get up and walk to the cabinet with DVD's. You let your finger go over the ridges and eventually a documentary that is spoken by Tom makes you stop.

"Perfect." you say.

You walk to the DVD player and put it in, you lay back on the couch and as soon as Tom's voice fills the room you immediately feel calmer. You close your eyes so you can focus more on his soothing reassuring voice and pull the jersey over your nose so his scent is also surrounding you and before you know it you feel yourself dozing off again to the peaceful voice of your loved one.

Your eyes open when you hear a key in the keyhole and with a jerk you sit up but when the door opens and you see Tom coming in you breathe a sigh of relief. Without thinking about it you stand up and run towards him.

"Tom." you say.

He looks up at the mention of his name and when he sees you hurrying towards him, he opens his arms to catch you. You press yourself against him and bury your nose in his neck.

"Well, hello to you too." he laughs.

However, there is something in your posture which he does not like and he cautiously leans back to look at you.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm okay now. I .... I've just missed you."

Again you press yourself against him while his hands slide over your back.

"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully.

"Yes, I decided to get some sleep, so I would be awake when you would come home and I just had a nightmare."

"That must have been some terrible nightmare."

"It was."

"You want to talk about it?"

"No, I really rahter not."

"Was that the reason that the door was locked?"

"What? Oh, sorry, automatism I think."

"Are you wearing a jersey of mine?"

"Yes, I am, it smells like you and made me feel that you were with me."

"Well, I'm here now so you can take it off."

In one easy motion he pulls his jersey off of you, and his eyes go straight to your breasts.

"Hey," you say, and lay a finger under his chin and pushes his face up, "I'm here."

Tom laughs and an suddenly, he lifts you up and walks with you to the stairs.

"I can walk, you know."

"Yes, I know, but I like to carry you so indulge me."

"Oh well, who am I to begrudge you your little pleasures?" you say smiling.

He walks with you to the bedroom and puts you down, his lips immediately plant themselves into your neck and your hands slip in his hair. Then you notice that they seem a bit sticky.

"Did not you shower before you came home?" you ask.

"No, I wanted to get to you as soon as possible."

He comes up and looks at you then you see that he still has vague streaks of blood on his face. You laugh your head and shake.

"Do you want me to get cleaned first?" he asks.

"Before you get dirty again?" you say with a wink.

"Well, we can always combine the two things." he says.

You know what he means and you feel yourself getting all wet between your legs, he grabs your hand and takes you to the bathroom where he turns tap of the shower on and then undresses, just like you. He pulls you in his arms and kisses you, your arms go around his neck and feel his semi-hard erection against your abdomen. You move back and forth creating friction and smile as he moans softly. He draws you into the shower and turns you around, he let his hands sneak down over your arms and he entangles his fingers with yours. He lifts you folded together hands and place them against the wall. Then he comes forward so that his body shields your smaller form.

"Keep your hand there." he whispers.

Just as you want to ask what he means his hand leaves yours and not much later you feel the drops of water wash over you, in one single moment you are wet and before you can protest Tom coveres your free hand with his again.

"Oh, and the next nights you will just go along to the Donmar with me." he says into your ear.

"I am?"

"Yes, I want you with me." he breaths and rolls his hips forward.

"What if I fall asleep?" you ask while you close your eyes and push your hips back against his.

"Then by all means, fall asleep curled up on my couch in my dressing-room, just knowing that you're there is enough for me, darlin'." he says biting your shoulder.

You moan and throw your head back.

"And besides, it has another advantage." he says, licking the shell of your ear.

"What is that?" you ask, tilting your head to give him more room.

"The fact that you can help me clean myself up after the play every single night."

You laugh, but the laughter turns into an elongated groan as his hands leave yours and cups your breasts in them, his thumbs rubbing lightly over your nipples and you push your hips back against his erection.

"Tell me, are you just as wet down there but not because of the water but because of me?"

"Yes."

One of his hands goes down and he cups you slit, pushing two fingers inside you and your hips buck under his touch.

"Oh, love, you're absolutely soaked, all that just by my voice?"

"You have a very sexy voice."

"Apparently." he says and curls a finger, making contact with your pleasure spot.

"Please .." your groan.

"You want me?"

"Yes."

"How badly?"

"So badly."

"Well, then who am I to begrudge you your little pleasures?"you hear him repeating your words with a smile,"keep your hands on the tiles."

Tom grabs your hips and pulls your slightly further back until your back is almost horizontal, with his leg, he pushes you legs apart, you feel how his hands glide over your buttocks and then slowly, over your back and forward, around your waist and they caress your breasts and then go to your hips again. You feel how he places the blunt head of his penis against your opening and an unexpectedly hard thrusts into you.

"Fuck, Tom .." you groan.

"I did not hurt you, did I?" he asks but you can hear the smile in his voice.

You also smile and you lower your head until you can look under your upper body and not only feel his balls slapping against your buttocks but you can also almost see it, it excites you tremendously and you moan.

"Put your feet together." Tom gasps.

"What?"

"Your feet, against each other."

Tom pauses in his thrusts and you shuffle your feet together as good as you can and you see that Tom moves his feet on the outside of yours. Your legs are almost against each other and when Tom slowly withdraws his penis from your vagina it feels like a part of yourself being pulled from you but that's nothing compared to the feeling he gives you as he thrust inside you; because you have made your opening as small as possible you feel it in every fiber of your body.

"Oh y/n, you're so fucking tight around me like this,....."

He thrust harder and deeper and it is not long before his breath hitches and you know he is almost there, only in this way you do not get much friction where you need it and you rub your thighs together. Tom notices it and his thrusts are becoming slower until he slowly slips out of you.

"Come up, darling."

"What is it?"

Tom turns the tap off and lifts you up, he walks with you to the bed and just when you want to protest because you both leave a trail of water, he lays you on the bed and straddles one of your legs.

"Lie on your side."

You do what he says and when you lie on your side Tom grabs the other leg and lifts it up, you're just about to say that you are not that flexible when he moves it in front of his body and pushes it up towards your chest and slightly outward.

"Look at me."

The moment your eyes find each other he pushes himself hard inside you but instead of pain you feel only pleasure, _so much pleasure_ and you eyes roll back into your head. The angle at which he penetrates you is deep but oh so good and your hands grasp at the sheets. When Tom grabs one of your hands he entangles your fingers and with the other you squeeze the pillow.

"Oh ..... shit ...." you moan.

"Feels good?" Tom gasps.

"So fucking good."

Tom comes up and supports his weight on his free hand so he can thrust harder and deeper, you turn your head and look at him. His eyes are closed and his head hangs forward making his wet strands of hair hanging in his face, your eyes go down, his glistening wet chest and when you eyes go further down and your sigt is deprived you lift you leg slightly on a whim and you move you upper body slightly forward. When you suddenly see where his penis disappears into you, you moan softly. Tom opens his eyes and sees you looking at the place where you are connected.

"You like to watch me take you?" he gasps.

You are taken up by sight and nod, Tom helps you by taking your leg with both hands, he lifts it up and he kisses your knee. Then he thrust suddenly very slowly and calm, giving you a better look.

"Take a good look then."

He keeps thrusting like that for some time until you suddenly feel your climax approaching, you arch your back and turn your head towards him.

"Tom .."

He looks at you and curls your leg around his waist, his hands slip under your side and he lifts you up to thrusts a few times hard and deep and together you reach a climax. Exhausted, he lets himself fall next to you, breathing heavily you roll on your back.

"Whoever has learned you that, I am forever grateful." you sigh.

Tom laughs and rolls on his side, he grabs you tightly and kisses your cheek.


	11. A day on the town

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom shows you his city and afterwards has a surprise for you

Since you do not know the city you let Tom ride ahead and you follow him, it's around noon and very busy so he is riding slowly so you can keep up with him and give him a smile every time he looks back whether you are still there. After half an hour he stops on a bridge and you stand next to him with your bike. Before you can do anything he pulls you towards him to kiss you and smiling you lay a hand on his chest.

"Oh and before I forget, I do not have to be on the stage tonight." he says.

"You don't? Why not?"

"From the beginning of the play it was indicated that everyone would have one day off a week, as not to overload the people and today is that day."

"Hm, you mean that I have you to myself the whole day?" you ask.

"Yes, all day, all evening, all night...and then morning, afternoon...."

"Hm what to do with all that time?"

"I can think of a few things."he says, giving you a wink.

"A few things or just one thing, a few times?"

He cups your neck and turns his head to deepen the kiss and you moan into his mouth, his tongue caressing your bottom lip and you bite in it playfully before you push him away.

"Hey, what was that for?" he asks indignantly.

"You promised me you'd show me London, so show me." you say.

"I think it's great that I can finally get to show you my city." he says, his eyes twinkling.

"Your city?"

"Yes, I've lived here all my life so I consider London my city."

You smile and look around, when you see the Tower Bridge your eyes begin to shine.

"Can you show me the Tower Bridge?" you ask hopefully.

"Of course, it is one of the main attractions, come."

Tom cycles away and you follow him closely, after a bike ride of about half an hour you arrive at the entrance, there is a long line and instead of showing who he is, he grabs your hand and you're standing in line. You wonder how on earth he will get inside without being recognized by someone in the line but if you end up walking into the tower, still no one has a clue who is amongst them. Tom removes his sunglasses and hooks it in his hoodie amd you walk with the crowd but when Tom suddenly begins to walk slower and lets everyone pass you look at him. He puts his finger to his lips to indicate that you should be quiet and when you walk all the way at the back, he pulls you into a corridor, he pushes you against the wall and puts his hand on your mouth. You keep standing like that and when he is sure that no one has seen you, he looks at you.

"Come with me." he says.

He grabs your hand and pulls you down the corridor, there is little light and your heart is beating in your throat.

"What if we get lost?" you ask.

"We won't get lost, I always came here as a child together with Sarah."

You smile and let yourself be guided by him, sometimes you come across people when you arrive at an intersection but it is dark enough and busy enough to not recognize him, something you are grateful for. You have also not failed to notice that while Tom holds your hand his thumb always kept making circles over your hand and after he has pulled you into a deserted corridor again you pull on his arm and he turns around. You push him against the wall and press yourself against him, you hands go around his neck and he leans in to meet you, when your lips touch, you sweep your tongue over his lower lip and he opens his lips to let you in. The kiss becomes intense and heated and his hands go to your buttocks, he squeezes it and lifts you up, you place your legs around his hips and lock you ankles. Tom turns your position all of a sudden and pushes you against the wall, one of his hands rubbing your thigh and the other he places against the wall next to your head. You feel a tingling in your lower abdomen and panting you break the kiss. You let one of your hands move to rub his chest and your eyes flicker up to meet his, despite the darkness, you see that they are almost black with lust.

"Why did you do that?" he gasps.

"I ... I do not know, I just ... I suddenly had the desire to feel you."

Tom rolls his hips forward and you feel his hard erection, making you moan.

"You feel that?"

"Yes." you breath.

"That's what your desire to feel has caused."

"You want me to fix it?" you say and looks at him cheeky.

"Are you serious?" Tom laughs nervously, "we are in public."

"We have to do it quickly, no time for foreplay."

"I have no patience for that anyway."

He lowers you untill you are standing with your feet on the ground and while you push down your pants and slip, Tom opens his zipper and slides it with boxer just far enough down to free his erection out of it's to tight environment. He lifts you up again and puts his tip against your wet slit, in a quick smooth motion he pushes himself inside you.

"Fuck ..." he groans.

"Come on, Thomas, take me hard."

Tom hooks his arms under your knees and pushes them up almost folding you in half, he immediately starts to thrust hard and deep, pushing the rough stones in your back almost painfully but you do not care, the only thing you care about is having Tom inside you, pounding up into you, hard and rough. You already feel your climax approaching and you kiss his neck.

"Make me come, Thomas, please, I need to come." you gasp in his ear.

He thrust a few times hard and deep, and together you come to a climax, he gently lets you down and when he is sure that you can stand again, he lets go.

"Well, that was unexpected." he laughs.

"But no less good."

When you have dressed again he grabs your hand and gives a kiss on it.

"Come on, I want to show you something." he says before he takes you back through the corridor.

You follow him up a staircase, a long staircase, a staircase which seems to have no end and when your breathing becomes heavy and you start to walk slower Tom stops and looks at you.

"Are you okay?" he questions.

"Yes, fine, can not be better, I just ... you know ...."

"You want me to carry you?" he asks.

You start laughing, thinking that he is joking but when he steps down a step, you keep your hands in front of you.

"Whoah, Tom, you're not going to carry me up these stairs."

"But I like to carry you, you know that?"

"And I am sure you also like being able to use your back too." you say seriously.

Tom tilts his head and looks at you dubiously.

"I really did not mean it like that," you say quickly, remembering your talk abour earlier,"I'll be fine, really, just tell me we are almost there, please?"

Tom smiles and nods.

"Yeah, we are almost there, darlin'."

"Thank God."

And he was not lying, after a few minutes you feel a sudden gust of wind around you as Tom steps through the door onto the bridge, he continues to hold your hand while he keeps the door open for you and you step onto the bridge. You reach out your hands towards the railing and you breath catches in your throat at the breathtaking views you have over London.

"Wow, this is fantastic." you say impressed.

Tom stands behind you and puts his hands on either side of yours on the railing.

"I knew you would find this beautiful." he says and kisses your cheek.

"Are you kidding me? This is incredible!" you laugh,

"You know, we should come back again when it is dark, when the city is illuminated, which is really an unforgettable moment."

"Promise me you take me back again."

"My darling, I promise you everything you want, the stars, the moon, the world ...."

"Just you," you say, and you turn around in the circle of his arms, "just you is enough."

You lean forward to kiss him, after the kiss you look around you and then suddenly you see where you are standing on.

"Oh my God, this is glass, I can see the ground." you say.

You immediately grab the railing again and start to walk backwards, Tom steps back puzzled and looks at you.

"I did not know you were afraid of heights."

"I'm not." you say.

"Well, I hate to break it to you, darlin', but how you react now it seems an awful lot like you do."

"I have no fear of heights, it's just ..." you gesture down to the speeding cars and passers on the sidewalk.

"Just what?"

You look up and see that Tom is leaning against the railing with his arms crossed and looks at you amused.

"Are you mocking me ?" you say and place your hands on your hips.

"I would not dare, darlin'," he tells you and reaches his hands out,"come on, take my hand and I'll help you overcome your fear of heights."

"I do not have a fear of heights!" you say stomping your feet.

"Be carefull! You might break the glass!" he says.

"Tom!" you yell and look at him angry.

"I'm sorry." he says, barely able to contain his laughter.

"You know, this day was going so well." you say, crossing your arms over your chest and turning away from him.

"I'm sorry, truly I am," he says, encircling you in his arms,"please forgive me."

He whispers in your ear and kisses the place where your shoulder meets your neck, making you shiver and he smiles at his memory.

"That was because of the cold." you say.

"No it wasn't." he replies confident.

He repeats the movement and throws in a lick of his tongue, making a soft moan to escape your lips.

"Hm, I smell victory."

"Shut up." you say.

Tom chuckles and turns your head to capture your lips in a passionate kiss, making you turn and laying your arms around his neck. After the kiss he looks at you and pushes a stray lock of hair out of your face.

"Although the view is breathtaking, there is still one thing that is even more breathtakingly."

"And what is that?"

"You." he says.

You blush and look away, but Tom put his finger under your chin and turns your face towards him.

"I mean it, you're by far the most beautiful and stunning creature I have ever been allowed to cast my eyes upon and just the thought that you are all mine makes me so proud."

You smile and lay your forehead against his.

"Come, let's go down." he says.

You moan at the thought of all those steps and Tom laughs, when you look up he holds his hands defensively in front of him, palms outward.

"I am not mocking you, honestly."

"Just go." you say, also laughing.

Once you are back with the bikes Tom turns to you.

"What do you wanna see now?" he asks.

"I do not know," you say, and look around, then you see a park just across the street, "we can go walking through the park?"

"Of course, you go on, I need to make a phonecall."

"To who?"

"It's a surprise," he says and pushes his sunglasses back on his nose, "go on, I'm right behind you."

You shrug your shoulders and cycle to the park, after you have locked the bikes Tom laces your fingers together and you walk silently through the park. You enjoy the fresh air and his arm that now lies around your waist but after half an hour it gets chilly and you pull your jacket closer around you.

"Why do not we go somewhere to eat?" Tom asks.

Before you can say anything he leads you out of the park and across the street, after a few minutes he holds the door of a fancy restaurant open and you look at him questioningly,

"What?" he asks.

"This looks very fancy and we are not wearin really fancy clothes."

"Don't worry about it, I know the owner."

Hesitantly you step inside and stop immediately near the cloakroom, Tom however grabs your hand and pulls you to the bar. Almost immediately a man comes towards you that gives Tom a hand and a warm smile.

"Tom, good to see you again!" he says.

"Morgan, always a pleasure."

"And who is this?" he asks.

"This is y/n, someone who is very special to me," Tom says and gives you a wink, "and someone who has captured my heart from the moment I saw her."

"Oh, well, look at that, it's about time you found yourself a lady," he says, and he reaches a hand out to you wich you take, "I'm Morgan, welcome in my restaurant, young lady."

"Thank you." you say.

Then Morgan turns back to Tom.

"Everything is ready, the first course is served in half an hour."

"Thank you, my friend, you are the best,"he says and then leans over the bar beckoning Morgan to come closer,"and could you not tell anyone about her yet? We just want to have some time for ourself before we go public."

"Of course, your secret is safe with me Tom." he says.

Morgan gives Tom a key and instead of taking you to the restaurant he takes you to the elevators. When the elevator doors open you step inside and Tom pressed the button of the fiftieth floor and you look at him. He just smiles at you and leans against the wall of the elevator. He draws you to him so that you stand with your back against his chest. His arms go around your waist and you feel his nose in your neck and he softly kisses your.

"Where are we going?" you ask.

"I told you: it's a surprise," he says and kisses your neck again.

You turn your head and your hand goes up to slide into his hair and slowly your lips find each other, the kiss is slow and calm but full of love and affection. When the lift stops and the doors open he takes your hand and leads you out, then you notice that you are in a hallway with just one door wich he unlocks with the key he was been giving by Morgan. He opens the door and gestures to you to walk in first. Your eyes fall on the rose petals on the floor and you follow the track to the right which brings you into a large bathroom with a toilet, a shower in wich you can excually walk and a huge bath where at least six people fit in. As you leave the bathroom you walk past the bedroom and you peek just around the corner of the door. Against the back wall stands a gigantic four-poster bed covered with more rose petals and on every cabinet and table is a narrow tall vase of glass with a white rose in it. You see a package lying on the bed and you look back if you see Tom and when that is not the case you walk towards it. When you look close you can see that there is a note stuck on it and you read it.

_"Unwrapp me."_

You laugh a little and start to unpack the package, you reveal a folded garment and when you pick it up at the shoulders and hold up it, you see that it is a beautiful white dress completely translucent with the exception of two places, at breast height there is a blue stripe and at the crotch a blue pantie. On it a note is pinned, again.

_"Wear me."_

You shake your head and lay it back on the bed, you undress and put on the dress, the zipper is on the back and no matter how hard you try you can not close it yourself but even with the zipper unfastened the dress falls like a second skin around your body and you walk to the large mirror in the room. It is not a dress that you would choose for yourself but you have to confess when you look at yourself in the mirror from all angles, noting the split on both sides that are kneehigh, that you really look beautiful.

"You look stunning, y/n." you suddenly hear.

You look up to see Tom standing, leaning against the doorway, but he no longer wears the clothes from earlier. His sneakers have been replaced by neat black shoes, jeans by black pants and above he wears a waistcoat with a white shirt underneath already rolled up to above his elbows. Your eyes go up and when you meet his beautiful baby blue's you feel your knees getting week.

"Thank you." you say softly.

"I see you have not found the shoes yet."

"Shoes?"

"Under the dress on the bed." Tom says.

You turn around and see that there is a box below the paper, you walk towards it and slide the paper to the side to tip the lid of the box and you see beautiful black pumps with stiletto heels lying. You take one out carefully and when you want to put it on Tom suddenly stands next to you and stops you.

"Please, allow me." he says, taking the shoe from you.

You nod and grab one of the bedposts for balance and you lift one foot. Tom goes down on one knee and with one hand cups your ankle and with the other he gently slides the pump on your foot, the action so erotic it makes your breath hitch.

"I feel just like Cinderella." You giggle.

"As long as you do not suddenly disappear on me at midnight and make me run after you with a pump." Tom jokes.

He repeats the same movement with your other foot and then he comes up slowly making you notice that by the height of your heels, you are almost as tall as himself.

"Can you zip me up?" you ask and turn for him.

Your eyes fall on your mirror image and you see that Tom slides away your long hair and leans forward to place a gentle kiss on every piece of bare skin before it is covered by the dress and when he is done he kisses the place where your neck and shoulder meet and you shiver, making him smile against your skin. Then his arms snake around your waist and you automatically put your hands on his and you lace your fingers. Your eyes meet in the mirror just before Tom turns his head and kisses your temple.

"Come."

You let yourself be lead from the bedroom to the living room by Tom. Your eyes go to the large windows which reach from the floor to the ceiling and you walk towards it, making your hand slip out of Tom's, it's already dark and London lies beneath you like a brilliant illuminated city.

You turn around and see that there are also, every few meters apart, a narrow tall vase of glass is standing but there are red roses in those. Tom stands with his hands in his behind his back, leaning against the fireplace, head down but eyes looking up through eyelashes, watching you, waiting for your judgment. Your mouth forms a smile and you go to him.

"You like it?" he asks softly.

"Tom, this is amazing, I can not believe you would go through so much trouble just for me."

"Oh my darling, nothing is too much trouble for you, you give me so much, every day when I wake up next to you I can not help but just smile and feel so proud that you're with me, that you truly are mine. I just want you to know I will never take your love for granted," then he cups your cheek and leans back to look at you," I promis you that for the rest of my life I will do my best to make you happy, just let me take care of you, from now until forever."

"From now untill forever, Tom, always yours." you say.


	12. Tokens of Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tom is not even close to be done with you for the evening so, my dear readers, be ready to be wooed by your love

Tom holds up his other hand and when you look at it, you see that there is a wrapped up gift in it.

"What is this?" you ask.

"This is a gift." he says.

Your eyes go back to Tom and he nods.

"Take it out." he says.

You pick up the gift and take the paper of it. It is an oblong velvet box with a lock on the side and when you open it and lift the lid up, you can not believe what you see. It is a beautiful silver bracelet and in the middle a figure eight, or the infinity sign, as it is also called, is. The right side of the figure is covered with diamonds that sparkle in the light of the moon.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it." you reply.

"Give me your arm." Tom says.

You hold your arm out and Tom lays the bracelet on your wrist and then he makes it closed. You let your finger slide across the infinity sign and smile go.

"That stands for our love, infinity."

You let your arms move around his neck to pull him towards you to kiss him, he smiles against your lips and while kissing his hands search for yours, when he finds them he takes them and takes you to the living room .

"Dance with me." he says.

"Tom you know I do not dance." you say.

"And you know that I do so we will have to find a balance somewhere, darling, but rest assured, we will start slowly."

He gives you a wink while one arm snakes around your waist to draw you against him, the other he folds around your other hand and he gives it a kiss before he lays your folded hands on his chest. You lay your free arm around his neck, thanks to your heels you are almost as long as him and you can lay your forehead against his. He begins to slowly move his hips and because of his arm around your waist you must move your hips in rhythm with his and slowly you begin to turn in circles. Just when you are about to ask on what you are dancing to you hear soft music begint to play and then the voice of Elton John fills the room.

_There was a time_  
 _I was everything and nothing all in one_  
 _When you found me_  
 _I was feeling like a cloud across the sun_

_I need to tell you_  
 _How you light up every second of the day_  
 _But in the moonlight_  
 _You just shine like a beacon on the bay_

_And I can't explain_  
 _But it's something about the way you look tonight_  
 _Takes my breath away_  
 _It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside_  
 _And I can't describe_  
 _But it's something about the way you look tonight_  
 _Takes my breath away_  
 _The way you look tonight_

You sigh happily and lay your cheek on his shoulder to press a kiss against his neck making him tighten his arm around your waist and when the song continues you softly hear him whisper along with the lyrics.

_With your smile_  
 _You pull the deepest secrets from my heart_  
 _In all honesty_  
 _I'm speechless and I don't know where to start_

_And I can't explain_  
 _But it's something about the way you look tonight_  
 _Takes my breath away_  
 _It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside_  
 _And I can't describe_  
 _But it's something about the way you look tonight_  
 _Takes my breath away_  
 _The way you look tonight_

_And I can't explain_  
 _But it's something about the way you look tonight_  
 _Takes my breath away_  
 _It's that feeling I get about you, deep inside_  
 _And I can't describe_  
 _But it's something about the way you look tonight_  
 _Takes my breath away_  
 _The way you look tonight_

After the song is over you keep turning in little circles for some time untill there is a knock on the door.

"That will be dinner." Tom says.

He want's to walk away but you refuse to let him go making him smile.

"Love, I need to open the door."

"I'm not hungry." you mumble against his skin.

His hands move up over your bare arms and he frames your face to look at him.

"You promised you would let me take care of you, so let me."

He kissed your nose and reluctantly you let him go to the door to open it, you frowns and walk to the dinning room, sitting on the chair behind the table. You hear voices outside and suddenly you stand up, take your plate and cutelery to place it next to Tom's and just when you sit down you see Morgan walking in with two plates with a silver lid on it. He bows his head to you to acknowledge your presence and you do the same.

"What is this?" you hear Tom asking, meaning to change of your position.

"I wanted to sit close to you instead of across the table all the way over there." you explain.

Tom smiles at you and sits down next to you. Morgan places the plates in front of you and and curious as to what it is you look at it.

"Lobster?" you ask.

"Yeah, that okay?"

"Sure, I just never eat it before."

"You will love it."

Tom reaches for the lobster pliers on your plate and gives it to you, you look at it a moment from all sides and try to discover how to hold it while you bite your lip. When you look up to Tom, you see that he looks at you amused.

"You'll have to teach me." you say softly and look away.

"It will be my pleasure," he answers and takes his own lobster pliers, "of the lobster you only eat the tail, claws and legs. Break the claws open with a lobster pliers and take the meat out."

You do it as best as you can and after breaking the legs off with the pliers, which is easier than you expected, Tom gives you a lobster pen and you look at him expectantly. He chuckles and then grabs one of the claws and the lobsters pen he plucks out the meat. Your first bite is a little one and you frown your eyebrows while you taste it.

"Well?" Tom asks and looks at you, "you like it?"

You taste something sweet and the meat itself is pretty sturdy and you nod at him.

"Yes, this is good." you say.

Tom smiles and together you silently eat first one claw empty and then the next. If both of your lobster claws are empty you sigh and look at the tail and legs.

"What's wrong?"

"I can never eat all that how delicious it is." you say.

"That's okay, just eat what you can ."

"But lobster is so expensive!" you say whining.

"Honey, it's fine, we'll give to Morgan whatever is left." Tom says.

Then you look at your bracelet and let your finger glide over the infinity sign.

"You spend way too much money on me."

"And you are worth every penny."

"If you say so." you mumble and shake your head doubtfully.

Tom cups your cheek and turns your face towards him, you immediately find yourself in an intense kiss and slide your hands into his hair. You are caught up in Tom and his smell and his lips and his passionate way of kissing and breathless you break the kiss.

"What must I do to convince you that you are my everything, my life? Tell me and I'll do it all for you."

You look at him and again see that sincerity in his eyes.

"Sorry, I just need to get used to being treated like this and then also by you of all people."

Tom looks at you not understanding and you take his hand.

"I have fantasized about you for so long, dreamed of you for so long, you've seen the posters above my bed yourself," you say and feel yourself blush but you keep looking at him, "from the first moment I saw you I was lost, I fell for you so completely and unconditionally and that scared me so much, that had never happened to me before. For the first time in years I felt butterflies in my stomach again when I heard your voice or just by thinking about you. As I lay in bed I always thought of how it would feel to have your strong arms around me holding me, your lips kissing mine, the sound of your voice whispering to me. And now we really are together, now you're really mine alone....I am just afraid I may still wake up and that you will be gone and that everything was a dream, that you where a dream and that the last days where a dream and that this is a dream......"

Your voice hitches with your last words you want to look away but Tom stops you and draws your in his arms.

"Come here, darling, I promise you I'll never leave you, you have me in your life as your friend, your confidante, your lover, someone to laugh with and someone to cry with, someone to tell about your hopes and dreams and your fears and hopefully someday as your husband and as the father of your children, and I will stay in your life for as long as you want me there."

His words move you and you can not help but feel a few tears rolling down your cheek, Tom presses a kiss against your skin and soothingly rubs your back. After some time he leans back and brings your faces close together.

"And please don't ever talk as if you are not worthy of spending my money on because you are. You are my Princess and I will treat you as such so you better get used to it." he says.

He offers you a soft smile while his fingers slowly slide up over your spine you let out an unexpected groan and you arch your back a little.

"Oh you like that?" he asks.

You see him leaning forward with a look of mischievousness in his eyes and you know what that looks means so you carefully push him away.

"We should go back to dinner," you say and turn back to your plate,"I would hate it if Morgan found out he had stood in the kitchen for nothing."

You proceed with eating and when you have eaten half of the tail you push your plate away and lean back.

"I'm full." you say with a sigh.

Tom laughs and continues eating, he has finished his tail already and is eating the last remnant of the legs. One moment you look at how he picks piece of piece of meat from the leg and you smile when you see him enjoying it so much.

"I have to go to the toilet, be right back." you say.

You get up and ruffle through Tom's hair with one hand before you press a kiss onto it. When you're done, you walk to the sink to wash your hands and then you walk into the room again. Suddenly you stop when you see that Tom is gone and the table is empty except for a small square velvet box.

"Open it." Tom suddenly whispers in your ear making you jump a little.

You push him away playfully and walk around the table towards the box, as you pick it up you suddenly think that it is a ring and you hesitate.

"Don't worry, it's not a ring," Tom says, reading your thoughts, "not yet."

You sit down and unwrap it, when you open the lid you see two beautiful earrings with the same infinity sign as your bracelet and you smile. You remove the earrings out of the box and put them in, then you look at Tom.

"Come here, my prince." you say.

He smiles and slowly walks towards you, leaning down to kiss you.

"What's next? A necklace?" you joke.

"You'll see." he says.

After you have sit down again Morgan walks into the room with two plates with lids on them and places them before you again, when he lifts them up your eyes light up.

"Tiramisu." you say.

After Morgan has taken his leave again you look at Tom.

"You know this has liquor inside, right?"

Tom nods and a small smile forms on his lips.

"And you know I can not hold my liquor really well."

There appears a slightly bigger smile on his lips and he nods again.

"Are you trying to get me get drunk so you can have your way with me?"

"Maybe." he replies.

"You know you do not need to get me drunk to have your way with me." you say.

"I know."

You've always been fond of tiramisu but just because it contains liquor you do not eat it as often as you like and you try to stretch it as long as possible to finish it. Ultimately, Tom finishes earlier and turns slightly in his chair to look at you. You act like you do not see it and at the next bite you close your eyes and groan with pleasure, when you take the spoon out of your mouth you lick it extensively with your tongue and you hear Tom's breathing hitch. Your eyes go to him and you smile at him around the next spoon of tiramisu and when you lick it again, Tom involuntarily licks his lips.

"What?" you ask innocently as possible.

"Nothing, just....I had some other things planned for tonight but if you keep acting like that," he leans in and bites your ear while his hand slips under your dress through one of the splits and he spreads his fingers on the inside of your thigh,"I am going to drag you to the bedroom, rip that dress off of your gorgeous body and fuck you so hard you will feel it for days."

Now you are the one with the hitching breathing and when he licks your neck you moan.

"Go to the bedroom, there is a surprise for you waiting under the bed." he says and softly flicks his fingers over your panties making you yelp.

"It better not be a monster."

"Well if it is just call me and I will safe you, now go," he says,"meet me in the living room."

Before you can say something, he turns around and walks away, you shrug your shoulders and walk into the bedroom, sit on your knees beside the bed and look underneath. Not a monster, but again a gift. You sigh and close your eyes for a moment, you do find it nice to be spoiled but this is becoming ludicrous. You take the gift and lay it on the bed. It looks the same as the gift where your first dress was in and you take the guess that this is another dress. You get up and place it on the bed and unpack it. When you slide the paper aside you smile when you see the color green, you hold it like you also held up the first dress and see that it is a gorgeous green dress with a low V-neck and a black belt with gold buckle. You lay it on the bed and get changed quickly. Like the first dress this fits around you like a second skin, the sleeves start tight but they are get wider at your elbows. The zipper is on the side and you can easely close it. When you look at yourself in the mirror and turn around your eyes fall on the pumps with stiletto heels and you frown your eyebrows, they do not fit with the dress but the fact that you are able because of the heels to look straight into Tom's eyes you decide to keep them on.

You walk to the door and out the hallway into the living room, you see Tom standing by the window looking outside with his hands on his back. The first thing you notice is his long dark hair falling just over his shoulders. Your eyes slide down and suddenly you realize that you know those clothes and when your eyes flicker up and make contact with emerald ones you gasp for breath and stagger back, searching for support by the wall.

"My Lady, what is wrong, are you feeling unwell?" he says and he immediately walks to you with a distressed look in his eyes, hands already reaching towards you to steady you.

"No, no, I'm fine." you answer though it is barely above a whisper.

"Are you certain?" he asks.

You nod and look at his face, the hair, the eyes, the clothes, it's not one of his suits of armor but the clothes he wore in The Dark World in his glass cell. Slowly you reach your hand out to him while he keeps holding his hands where they are, letting you set the pace. When your hand makes contact with his cheek he leans into your touch and smiles at you.

"Oh my god, Tom, you look just like him." you say, still not believing what you see.

"Tom? Who is this Tom?" he asks, tilting his head to the side and his thin lips form a line.

"He is....he...."

"You are very fond of him, I can see it in your eyes when you speak about him. Is he the one who holds your heart?"

"Yes, yes he does." you answer.

"Well, he sure is a very lucky man then," he says and takes your hand to lace your fingers together,"but this 'Thomas' is not here right now, it is just us so I do hope I am to your liking."

"Oh you are, you most definitely are, my Prince."

Upon hearing his title he frowns.

"You have heard of me." he says, and he sounds pleased.

"Of course, you're Prince Loki."

"I most certainly am and you, my love, you are absolutely dazzling in my colors." he says and kisses your hand.

You blush at his words, and he smiles at you.

"Do I make you shy?" he asks, and he smirks at you.

"Maybe a little bit."

"Come with me, even though you look stunning there is still one detail missing."

You let yourself be guided by him to the middle of the room and then he turns to you, your eyes meet and he offers you a smile before he starts walking around you so he can position himself behind you. Then you feel his hands on you hips and his breathing on your neck.

"Close your eyes." he whispers in your ear.

You do what he says and close your eyes, when suddenly you feel something cold on your skin you open them and you look down, there's a chain around your neck with a beautiful emerald pendant hanging on it. Your hands go there and they gently glide over it. When Loki appears in your line of sight again you look at him. You look at him and although you would have thrown yourself in his arms already in your dreams kissing him fiercely, now however, you hesitate a little. Loki sees it and takes the few steps to you to close the distance between you, but when he is almost touching you, he stops.

"I can see in your eyes that you wish to kiss me." he says.

You nod that you want to but still you keep standing where you are.

"Then why do you not?"

You bite your lip and he cups your cheek with his hand.

"You should not do that, you will hurt yourself and I would regret that very much."

He slowly pulls away your lip between your teeth and his thumb sweeps across your lips, faster than you expect he closes the distance between you and you feel his lips on yours, you're slightly overwhelmd by the action and gasp for breath. Loki uses the opening between your lips and pushes his tongue inside you, immediately searching yours and when he finds it he lets his tongue run wildly around yours. You moan into his mouth and your hands fists into his tunic. Loki pushes you back against the glass window and one hand snakes around your waist to draw you against him and the other buries itself in your long hair. He turns your head so he can deepen the kiss and the hand around your waist cups you buttock and it squeezes it, pushing you close to his body and you feel that he is already semi-hard. Panting he breaks the kiss and lets you go, placing his hands on the glass next to you.

"I do apoligize for that but seeing you in my colors....wearing my necklace," he says and traces the emerald stone with his fingers,"well, I could not help myself."

"That is alright." you say hoarsly.

Your eyes go down over his body and back up again and you end up at his green eyes, your hand goes to his cheek and you draw him towards you to kiss him again, his lips kiss you back and your fingers glide carefully into his long black hair. His arm finds your waist again and now glides down further to hook his thumb under your knee and he hoists it up and around his waist. You break the kiss to lay your head back against the glass window. You feel his lips move to your neck and end at the place where your shoulder meets your neck and where you would normally shiver when Tom kisses you there, it does little now. You feel his hand slip under your dress and it slides further up, over your knee, your thigh and it slides in your slip and he presses you against his body, his hips rolling forward and your hands grasp his shoulders when he squeezes it. Your eyes go to his black locks and when you feel his other hand cups your breast you swallow hard.

He leans forward and your lips find each other again, you close your eyes while concentrating entirely on his touch, his tongue playing with yours and your arms go around his shoulders. You feel how he hoists your other leg over his hip and you lock your ankles behind his back. Slowly he lifts you up and while kissing he walks with you to the couch to lay you down gently and he places himself between your legs. For a moment he breaks the kiss and looks at you, you open your eyes and find emerald ones looking at you appreciatively. It gives you a strange feeling in your stomach but you push it aside when he comes forward and rolls his hips against yours, you press your head in the cuchion and moan softly as his lips attach themselves to your neck. He sucks, licks and bites playfully in your skin and your fingers carefully slip into his long dark locks.

"You are absolutely divine, my love." he murmers against your skin.

You bite your lip and close your eyes again as his lips continue kissing where they left off. He comes up slightly and again rolls his hips against yours and you feel his erection prominently pressing against your thigh. Your eyes open and you look at Loki who is still busy to pamper your neck with little kisses.

Loki, you think. How many times have you fantasized about him while you were playing with yourself, how often did your eyes stray to his poster, searching his green eyes on the wall as you came and now you lie here with him and despite the fact that you know that under the wig and clothes it is your beloved Tom, somehow it just doesn't feel right. Instead of short curly hair you feel long dark locks, instead of bright blue eyes you find emerald green ones, instead of soft tender touches you feel compelling fingers. Your hands move to his shoulders, not pushing him away but also not pulling him towards you. Loki sences your hesitation and looks at you.

"Is something wrong?" he asks.

"No, no, nothing wrong," you say and smile at him "it's just ....."

You take a deep breath and close your eyes.

"I don't know." you finally sigh.

"You do not desire me?"

You laugh and look at him again, you place your hand against his cheek and he smiles.

"I desire you, Loki, very much so, I just don't think I can do this."

"It is that Thomas, is it not?" he says, tilting his head and looking at you.

"I'm sorry." you slowly say and turn your head away but Loki lays his hand against your cheek and stops you.

"Do not be, your desire to remain loyal and faithful to him are admirable and I can only wish that I will someday have someone who loves me as you do your Thomas."

He smiles at you and sits up before he helps you into sitting position.

"I do hope he realizes what he has and he will treasure you and treat you like the Princess you are because if he ever does you wrong,"he leans towards you and kisses your cheek," then I shall have to return to claim you as mine.".

His promis makes you smile and you close your eyes for a moment only to find yourself alone when you open them again.


	13. Turning the tables

You get up and walk to the window, you lay your arms around you and press your forehead against the cool glass. Your eyes follow the lights of the cars down in the streets and you stay like that for a moment before your thoughts go back to Loki and what happened and you smile. Then you suddenly feel two arms going around your waist and your pressed against a solid chest. Your eyes go up and you see Tom's reflection in the glass behind you, his familiar bright blue eyes look at you lovingly.

Love is like a lump of gold,  
Hard to get, and hard to hold.  
Of all the girls I've ever met,  
You're the one I couldn't forget.  
I do believe that God above,  
Created you for me to love.  
He chose you from all the rest,  
Because he knew I would love you best.

After the poem he kisses your cheek and places his forehead against your tempel.

"I'm sorry, Tom." you say softly.

You hear him chuckle and you turn in the circle of his arms to look at him.

"I mean it, it must have cost you so much effort to put that wig on and to make your eyes green and what do I do? I send him away." you say, waving your arms.

"I must say it was a bit of a surprise, I thought you wanted him."

"I did, I do," you say confused, "I just couldn't."

"Would you care to elaborate about that?"

"Well, there is little to elaborate, the problem was that he wasn't you, I know it sounds ridiculous because under the wig and green eyes and clothing I knew it was you but yet it wasn't, when he kissed me I felt his lips, when he touched me I felt his fingers," you say, laughing, "it felt too much like 'another man', it felt to much like cheating on you. Am I making any sense?"

Tom laughs and pushes a stray lock of hair out of your face.

"A little, and I feel honored that your sense to remain faithful to me is so strong."

"Of course it is, and although Loki will always have a piece of my heart, you are the one that has my whole heart, it's always been you from the moment I saw you."

Tom leans towards you to give you a kiss before he hugs you close to him and your arms go around his neck so that you can press yourself against him. You smile when your fingers disappear into his familiar curls and his fingers lightly rub over your back.

"I love you so fucking much, y/n."

"Can you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"I want you to go to the bedroom, get undressed and lie on your stomach on the blanket."

"Alone?" he asks, and raises his eyebrow while looking at you.

"For a brief moment, I want to do something for you."

"Y/N ...."

"No, listen to me," you say, and lay your finger on his lips, "you have been taking care of me this whole evening, the food, the flowers, the dresses, the jewels you even gave me the change to be with Loki. The only thing I ask for is to turn the tables, let me take care of you now."

You take his hand in yours and lead him to the bedroom, then you walk to the bathroom and take some of the scented oils you saw standing there earlier. With those in your hands you walk back to the bedroom and despite the small amound of time it took you you laugh when Tom is already lying naked on his stomach, waiting for you, arms folded on the pillow and head raised when he hears you come in.

"Well, someone is eager." you say.

"Eager for you." he replies.

"You must have patience." you say.

You go standing next to the bed to place the bottle there and before you know it Tom's hand reaches for you but you grab it around the wrist. "Patience, remember?" Tom huffs and places his hand back on the pillow, you hoist up your dress to just above the waist and suddenly you get an idea. As slowly as possible as to not attract his attention you slip your pantie of and push it under the bed. Then you can crawl on the bed on your knees and swing one leg over his over his legs so you can sit on his thighs and you roll your hips against his buttocks, Tom turns his head towards you and looks at you.

"Did you took off your panties?" he asks, voice already laced with lust.

"Hm, you like it?"

"Tease." he mumbles before laying his head down again.

"I'm going to make an attempt to give you an erotic massage with oil." you say.

"Really?" he says.

"Yes, first the back from top to bottom and then the front, I'm going to completely smother you with oil."

"Hm, I like the sound of that." he says and stretches out.

You rub some massage oil warm between your hands and begin with his lower back. The moment your slippery hands make contact with his back he sighs content. You make long firm strokes over his back with your hands and alternate it with circular movements. After his back and shoulders you take it slow again and caress him his back from the top down to his buttocks. First you caress them lightly and then you make gentle massaging movements with your thumbs and knead his buttocks.

"God, I love your ass." you sigh.

"And it's all yours." Tom replies sleepily.

You rub some new oil warm between your hands and you start first with his left leg, massaging his thigh in small circles, you let your right hand move up towards his groin but ensure you do not touch his penis and Tom wiggles his hips a bit because of the tingling it causes. Then you go further down and via his right leg you go up again, repeating the process. When you are satisfied you come up a little. hovering on your knees over his thighs.

"Okay, turn around." you say.

Tom moans but rolls slowly on his back, your eyes fall on his hard erection that is lying against his abdomen and you lick your lips.

"You like what you see?" he asks, and you hear the smile in his voice.

"Oh I do, very much so."

His hands reach for again you, this time towards your hips and again you grab them and you look at him dismissive.

"Yes, yes, I know, be patient." he says, rolling his eyes he lays his hands over his head again.

You again rub some oil warm between your hands and place them on his chest, you slowly work your way up to his nipples, letting your thumbs gently slide over them and you hear his breath falter in his throat, you repeat it until they are so sensitive that Tom has trouble to keep his hands above his head. Then you go further up and massage his shoulders firmly. You let your hands go up over his arms and you come up slightly until your lips hover just above his, he automatically comes up to kiss you but you lean back defiantly.

"I thought you wanted to do something for me?"

"Are not you enjoying it, Thomas?" you ask and bat your eyelashes.

"Not right now, now I am just suffering."

"Oh poor you ....." you purr and your hands go down again.

You place them on his abdomen and you slide backwards a little. You hands slide on either side just past his groin and his hips jerk up, you smile and decide to have mercy on him and one of your hands curl around his rock hard erection, making him groan. You move your hand slowly up and down and when the index finger of your other hand pushes on the little spot behind his testicles his hands fist the sheets.

"Fuck, y/n, really, I can't...., I want you, please."

You give the tip of his penis a little kiss before you lay it between his legs and slide over it. Tom comes up and his hands go straight to the hem of your dress and this time you do not stop him. He pulls the dress off you and throws it beside the bed. Your bra soon follows and his lips attach themselves to your breast while you feel one of his hands on your other breast and the other he lays on the small of your back, drawing you against him. You hands slide in his hair and your head falls backwards.

"Come up a little bit." he breaths against your breast.

You do what he says and the hand on the small of your back leaves its place to slide the head of his erection back and forth a few times against over your slit before he places it against your opening. He rolls his hips up so that the tip disappears into you and one hand he lays on your hip and the other he places in your neck.

"Look at me." he says.

Your head rolls forward and when you make eye contact with his, now full of lust, he bucks his hips up and he penetrates you deeply. You eyes roll back of pure pleasure and you moan hard, pulling his hair, in turn making him moan. With his other hand he takes your hip also and he wriggles his legs so that he sits cross-legged, all the time ensuring that his penis remains inside you. You make small circular movements with your hips and alternate it off with rolling motions allowing him to go deeper inside you. Tom grabs your hips during your movements while he rolls his hips up slowly. For a moment, you keep repeating this until he can no longer stand it and the rolling is getting faster and you hear his breath hitch.

"Are you close baby?" you ask breathlessly.

"Yes, so close, please .."

"Please what?"

"Just let me come, darlin'."

You let one of your hands go under your buttocks and then to the little spot behind his balls wo press it lightly but it's enough to make him squirt his seed inside you and it pushes you over the edge. Tom pants and his hands tense and relax on your hips.

"Fuck .... so intense ...."

As you breath returns to normal again Tom slowly falls backwards and he takes you with him. You lay your head on his chest and his hands move slowly through your long hair.

"God, that was ...."

"Erotic?" you ask.

"Yes, quite, remind me to buy some oil this week." he says and kisses your head.

You smile, satisfield that you could do something for him too and it does not take long before both of you are sleeping.

When you wake up it's still dark in the bedroom, you feel Tom's arm around your waist, your fingers fused together and his body against yours. You enjoy a moment of silence in which you only hear his breathing and feel puffs of breathing in your neck. Still, you have to het out because you really need to pee, cautiously you step out of bed and walk by feel to the bathroom. When you walk into the bedroom again, you see that he has turned on his back, but he is still sleeping, the moonlight captures Tom's face and for a moment you just stand there, looking at the beauty in the bed. One of his hands is above his head, the other under the blanket on his chest, your eyes go further down and you see that his legs are slightly apart. All of a sudden you get an idea and your lips form a smile.

You pick up the end of the duvet and as quiet as you can crawl under it between his legs, you remain seated like this, listening to a sign that Tom woke up but when that does not come you slowly lower your hands untill they lie on his ankles. They are slowly going up, over his knees and eventually you arrive at his thighs. On your knees you also move further upwards. Your fingers caress the inside softly and when he shifts slightly, his legs fall a little further open. You stop but there is still no sign that Tom is awake. You lean forward slightly and nuzzle his already semi-hard erection, your breath in his smell, his sex and you bite your lip. His erection is lying upwards, perfect and you lick a long slow line up from base to top with your tongue and run your tongue around his tip and you chuckling softly when you hear a groan falling from Tom's lips and his erection shows a slight jerk. You curl your fingers from one hand around the base and with the other you gently caress his balls while your lips caress the tip again. Your tongue goes through the slit and then you take it a little further in your mouth to push his foreskin away and let your tongue move over it softly. You let him disappear into your mouth while your fingers massaging what does not fit and you hear Tom moaning and his hips lift slightly of the bed.

You can feel his fingers go in your hair while he stretches his legs, but he keeps his grip loose. He keeps on rolling his hips up every time you take him into your mouth and you take it as far as your can, yet he does not fit completly because of his size and your fingers continue to massage the base while your other hand is now lying on the mattress so that you can sit up a little and you can concentrate on your lips giving him more pleasure. You feel how Tom bends his legs and places his feet flat on the mattress to roll his hips upwards but he keeps his fingers loosely in your hair to give you enough room. Your head goes up and down faster and every few times you run your tongue around the top and your tongue slip through his slit.

"Oh yes, fuck .... feels amazingly good ...oh god, y/n, please ... don't stop." he gasps while the fingers of his other hand caress your cheek.

You can hear the quiver in his voice and the hitch in his hips indicates he is almost at his peak, also his fingers start to grip your hair tighter, a sign that he does not want to squirt his cum in your mouth, but you resists and only double your movements and your free hand starts massaging his bals lightly. Suddenly you feel thick white streaks squirt in your mouth which immediately slide down your throat. Normally you were never fond of swallowing seed but for Tom, you are more than willing to try it and you are pleasantly surprised if it makes contact with your taste buds, tasting a little salt but also a bit musky and you moan around his shaft making him shudder under your touch. You lick him clean and them let him slowly fall out of your mouth. Suddenly there are two hands that grab you and pull you up.

"Come here, you minx." he says.

Immediately he lies half on you and kisses you passionately, tasting himself on your tongue.

"What was that for?" he asks.

"You looked so beautiful while you were sleeping, I could not resist." you reply.

He smiles and kisses your neck while his fingers are suddenly everywhere on your body leaving a trail of fire behind. They go over your arms, your stomach, your side, your legs and eventually he reaches your intimate place. You are meanwhile already pretty wet between your legs by his administrations and you moan softly.

"Turn around, lie on your side." He whispers.

You immediately do what he says and lie on your side, Tom melts himself to your back and you look at him over your shoulder. He smiles at you and you feel his fingers disappear between your buttocks, suddenly you get an idea of what he wants to do and the look in your eyes turns into a anxious look.

"It's okay I will not do anything you do not want or without asking you, okay?"

"Okay." you reply.

Tom moves his fingers deeper between your buttocks and you moan softly as he finds your pussy, slipping a finger inside and he moans as he feels how wet you are for him.

"I love that I have this effect on you." he says and kisses your shoulder blade.

Meanwhile, he has a second finger pushed inside you and you move backwards with your hips, impaling yourself on his moving fingers. You make a protesting sound when he withdraws his fingers but when he pushes his hard dick between your legs you groan and you push yourself backward while Tom rolls his hips forward.

"Hm, you feel wonderfully," he moans in your ear, "open yourself up to me, darling."

You open your legs for him and you can feel it when he enters you, you want to place your leg around his hip but Tom takes it and lays it on your other leg.

"Makes you all snugly for me." he whispers in your ear.

You feel him experimentally rolling his hips forward and you both moan at the friction, the thrusts are short and powerful and you notice his breathing is already ragged meaning that he is not goint to last for long. You stretch your arm behind you and your fingers grip into his hair and you turn your head to the side and give him a quick kiss. Tom has his arm around your waist and he caresses your breast but soon it goes down again and it finds your clit. With each thrust he makes he caresses your clit and you feel your climax approaching. Suddenly he grabs your wrists and rolls you on your stomach, he leans on his hands while he places his legs on either side of your thighs and the thrusts become harder and faster.

"God, you are impossible tight like this." he gasps.

By this new position you are pushed closer to your climax and when you begin to answer his thrusts he lets one hand go around your waist and he lifts you up slightly. His fingers slide further down and at the moment they touch your clit you fall over the edge, muscles contracting around his shaft and you feel how he shoots his seed inside you. One moment you stay lying like this until Tom lowers himself down and kisses you between your shoulder blades. You shiver under his touch and he chuckles, slowly he lets his dick slip out of you and he lies down next to you. Still enjoying your orgasm you fall asleep again.


	14. Rude Awakenings

When you wake up the next morning, Tom is already out and you sit up rubbing your eyes. You look around the room, feeling a little disorientated but then you remember where you are and you smile. You get out of bed, finding your sweater from the day before and slip it on followed by your jeans. When you walk into the room you see Tom is also dressed in his jeans and hoodie and is packing up the clothes, when he sees you entering he looks up.

"Hey, beautiful." he says.

"Hey handsome." you reply.

When you walk around the couch, you see that only Loki's outfit is still lying on the couch and you let your fingers slide over it.

"How did you get this anyway?" you ask.

"Actually Ken gave it to me after the filming of The Dark World was done." he confesses.

"He did? He can do that" you ask surprised.

"Well he was directing it so yeah."

"Tell me about him." you suddenly ask, placing your arms on the back of the couch bending over slighty. 

"Well, he saw me in Othello at the Donmar in 2007 and decided to cast me as Christian in a Radio 3 production of Cyrano de Bergerac. The following year we teamed up again, this time playing his sidekick in the BBC detective series Wallander. In 2008 we starred alongside each other in Tom Stoppard’s adaptation of Chekhov’s Ivanov at the Donmar. It was during this run that Branagh found out he had got the job of directing the first Thor film and kinda surprised me by asking me to audition for the title role and the following spring I was in Los Angeles auditioning for Thor but you know how that ended, but then again, Chris is a way better Thor then me and then Ken wanted to cast me as Loki and since he was the director he was able to say to the executives, 'trust me on this, you can cast Tom and he will deliver', and thankfully they listened. Ken gave me my break and I can honestly say that I would not be where I am now without him."

"Remind me to thank him when I see him." you say smiling.

"That will be very soon I hope, he was my mentor, took me under his wing, he is one of the most important people in my life, that's also why he knows about us."

"He what?" you say looking at him in alarm.

"Don't worry, he won't say anything, you can trust him."

"If you say so, I mean, I don't know him aswell as you do but if you trust him."

"With my life." he says honestly. 

He stands up to look at you, placing his hands in his pockets and he slowly walks towards you keeping his eyes on you and there is something in his eyes that makes you feel very consious about how you are standing. You get up slightly while you look at him over your shoulder and wiggles your buttocks provocatively and his eyes go there.

"Hmm, shake that ass."

He places his hands on your butt and squeezes it gently and he brings his head to your neck to give you a little kiss. His hands snake around your waist and immediately disappear under your sweater, and soon under the shirt underneath. He then pushes up your bra to cup your breasts in his hands. You moan and one of your hands comes up but Tom bites your ear.

"No, keep your hands on the couch." he says.

You put your hand back on the couch while Tom continues massaging your breasts and his thumbs slowly make circles over your nipples until they are hard and sensitive. Then one of his hands goes down, it glides over your back and then forward again, in one easy motion he opens your pants button followed by the zipper. He pushes your pants and slip slowly down until it pools around your feet. Tom puts his hand under your knee and lifts your leg to lay it on the back of the couch while he continues caressing your breast with his other hand. He lets his hand softly go over your leg and then to the V of your hips. He pushes his body against you and his hand slides over your slit light as a feather.

"Fuck, Tom .."

You feel him smile against your skin while his finger remains caressing your slit, from top to bottom and back again very slowly. You roll your hips against the touch searching friction you so desperately need.

"God, I love seeing you like this, a thin layer of sweat on your body, breathing irregularly, the soft sounds that you make, the moans escaping from between your lips, knowing I am the cause makes it even better. You are completely at my mercy, I can do with you what I want, say my name." he whispers in your ear and lets his finger very slowly caress your clit.

"Tom ..."

"My full name, darling."

"Thomas ..." you groan.

He rolls his hips forward and you feel his erection pressing against your buttocks.

"God, you make me feel like a teenager again, as quickly as you are getting me hard. I can make you whimper of despair." he says and pulls his fingers back and suddenly you whine at the loss.

"But I wont, do you know why?"

Just when you want to say something he pushes two fingers inside your body and you shake your head, your hips moving desperately on his fingers.

"Because I like to see you like this, I can watch you for hours, Tu es si belle, si magnifique, you hold me captive with your movements, your hips moving so sensually, so sinfull as you fuck yourself on my fingers. I know you've fantasized about me that I have done about you so often, all those lonely nights in my too large cold bed, thinking of you while I brought myself to climax. your body writhing under mine, begging me to let you come. "

He puts more force on your clit and your head falls backwards on his shoulder, he responds by kissing and licking your neck.

"You want me to let you come?"

You nod violently. Tom penetrate you with three fingers and his thumb caresses your clit, after two times you already feel an orgasm surging through your body and you jerks under his administrations. Your knees become weak and if Tom had not put his arm around your body you would have fallen on your knees.

"It's alright, I've got you, my darling." he says and kisses your neck.

While trying to catch your breath you feel how Tom first pulls you slip and then your pants up, he tucks your shirt into your pants and then closes it. Then he turns around and hugs you close to him.

Then someone knocks on the door.

"I'll go." he says.

He walks to the door and when he open it Morgan stands before him

"Hey Morgan." he greets him.

Morgan makes a slight bow to him and then looks at him.

"Will you have breakfast here or are you coming down?" he asks.

Tom glances over his shoulder to you, still panting and he chuckles before he looks back at Morgan.

"Give us a few more minutes and we will come down." he says.

"Very good." he replies before he walks away.

When you come down a few minutes later, Morgan leads you to a separate table so you can have breakfast privatly. When you're done you slide close to Tom to link your arms with his and you place your head on his shoulder. You feel how Tom moves backwards and press a kiss on your crown.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I still can not believe everything that you did for me." you say and press yourself closer to him.

"Get used to it, I like to spoil you so it will happen more often."

"But take it easy with expensive gifts, okay? Occasionally is fine, but last night was a bit ....... much"

"I like to give you things." he defends himself.

"And I enjoy getting things from you, but the only thing I want is you. I do not need all those things."

"Okay," he says, "are you ready to go?"

You nod and together you stand up, after thanking Morgan extensively you cycle back to your house and when you drive up the driveway Tom suddenly brakes so hard that you almost collide with him.

"What?" you ask.

You follow his gaze to the door and see that something is punctured on it. You're too far away to see what exactly it is so you squeeze your eyes but it still remains unclear. Tom gets off his bike, and you do the same.

"Stay here." he says to you.

"What? Why?" you ask.

"Just .... stay here."

You nod and Tom sets his bike on the standard to walk to the door. You see that he does not touch what is pinned up the front door and he looks over his shoulder at you. You shrug yours up, referring to what it is, but he raises his hand, palm towards you, indicating that you should stay where you are. You sigh exasperated and see that he slowly opens the door to enter. You keep waiting patiently until it takes too long and you put your bike alongside that of Tom and walk to the door. You look into the hallway but can not see anything different. You frown your eyebrows, and when you hear something falling your head jerks towards the sound.

"Tom?"

You walk into the room quickly but immediately stop when you see the devastation around you. Everywhere there are papers, DVDs, CDs, photos thrown all over the place and some even torn.

"Oh my God, what's happend here?"

"I told you to wait outside." Tom says.

He walks up to you and grabs your hand to take you outside but you pull your hand from his and walk to a photo on the ground. It's a picture of you together, made during the awarding of the MTV Movie Awards, when he won the award for best villain. You pick it up and see that it is torn almost in half, separating you and Tom from each other. You carefully lay the halves together and turn around to Tom.

"I remember when this was taken." you say.

"Yes me too."

"That was a great evening for you, winning best villian, best fight and best movie." you say and smile.

"Wasn't the highlight of my evening though, it was having you there to share it with."

"I remember you had to really convice me to come."

"Because you didn't wanted to walk over the red carpet with me."

"No, I did not say that, I said that I would probably feel like a dear caught in the heatlights and would trip over my dress and fall flat on my ass and with my luck, I would have dragged you with me, I would have embarrassed you."

"You could never embarrass me."

"And then you managed to talk a employee into sneaking me in trough the back so I could meet you in the lounge of the theater."

"That was all I could think about, that at the end of the red carpet, you were waiting for me."

With the photo in your hand you walk up to him while looking at him, you smile and put your hand on his cheek.

"I know that I have never said so, but for as long as I know you, I have been so proud of you, for everything you have achieved."

"Thank you," he says,"it means the world to me to hear you say that."

He takes your hand to lace your fingers together, you look around and you see that the one who has broken in also furiously used a knife. The sofa cushions are cut open and the filling is everywhere.

"God Tom, I'm so sorry." you sigh.

"Do not be, I'm just glad we were not home, that you were not home."

You look at him uncomprehendingly.

"Why do you think the burglar had come in if there had been anyone home?"

But at the moment you say it you realize that this was not just a burglar and Tom sees it in your eyes.

"I want you to go upstairs to pack some clothes and I will call my sister and ask her to pick you up. "

"You're sending me away?"

"It's not safe for you here. Have you seen what is hanging on the door?" he asks.

"No, the door was wide open."

"It was a picture, of us in the swimming pool while we where kissing. The tip of the knife was pushed through you, it was clear that you where her target."

You blood becomes cold at the thought she had been even able to get that close to you while you were supposed to be within the safety of your garden and the worst of it all you find the impact it has on Tom's life, his home, his beautiful house completely destroyed just because you are in his life and some lunatic fan does not agree with it.

"What about you?" you ask.

"As soon as she's gone, I'll drive to the police station to report a forced entry. I will tell them about the knife and picture at the door and then I'll come to you."

You bite your lip and Tom knows you long and well enough to know that that means that there is something in your mind.

"What?"

You let your hand from his slip and walks to the couch, looking around a bit but eventually you find what you are looking for. You pick up the note and walk with it to Tom to give it to him.

"What is this?" he asks.

You look down while he reads the note and his eyes become dark.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I did not wanted to worry you unnecessarily."

"You get a note from someone who threatens you and you did not tell me because you find it unnecessarily?" he says, his eyes radiating incomprehension.

"I'm sorry." you whisper and look down.

Tom walks towards you and takes your hands in his.

"Where did you find this?"

"On the mat after you left two night ago."

"On the mat? You mean to say that someone climbed over the fence and pushed it through the mailbox slot?"

"I guess."

Tom embraces you and pushes you close to him.

"You didn't have a nightmare that night, did you?"

You shake your head against his chest and mumble an apoligy for making that up.

"That's okay, but from now on you will be going with me to the Donmar every night, I want you in my line of sight at all times and if you want to go to my dressing-room I want you to tell me or someone else if I am on stage and then lock the door."

"Now you just being overly dramatic." you say but Tom will not hear of it.

"Y/N, listen to me,"he says and frames your face in his hands,"if I had to choose between breathing and loving you I would use my last breath to tell you I love you. I will do anything within my powers to protect you. If something would happen to you I will never be able to forgive myself."

You nod and press yourself a little closer to him, laying your cheek against his shoulder and embracing him while breathing in his scent, you feel one of his hands cupping the back of your head while his other moves slowly over your back.

If I should think of love  
I'd think of you, your arms uplifted,  
Tying your hair in plaits above,  
The lyre shape of your arms and shoulders,  
The soft curve of your winding head.  
No melody is sweeter, nor could Orpheus  
So have bewitched. I think of this,  
And all my universe becomes perfection.  
But were you in my arms, dear love,  
The happiness would take my breath away,  
No thought could match that ecstasy,  
No song encompass it, no other worlds.  
If I should think of love,  
I'd think of you.

His calm and reassuring voice that whispers in your ear calms you and you feel the fear slowly flowing out of your body.

"Tell me another." you say.

Tom smiles and thinks for a moment before he recites another.

There is a Lady sweet and kind,  
Was never face so pleased my mind,  
I did but see her passing by  
And yet I love her till I die.

Her gesture, motion and her smiles,  
Her wit, her voice my heart beguiles,  
Beguiles my heart I know not why,  
And yet I love her till I die.

Cupid is wingèd and doth range,  
Her country so my love doth change,  
But change she earth, or change she sky,  
Yet will I love her till I die.

"That was beautiful." you compliment him.

"That was Shakespeare, darlin', it's always beautiful."

"You're just prejudiced; every Brit finds Shakespeare beautiful. Half of the time I have now idea what the hell the guy is saying." you laugh.

"Are you mocking Shakespeare?" he says, doing his best to sound shocked.

"Of course not, I would never, at least not in front of you, I do not have a death wish."

You hear Tom laughing about that but he feels your still are a little rattled so he hugs you a tighter.

"I will not let her get to you, she will have to kill me first."

"Please, don't say things like that."

"It's the truth."

"Yeah well, seeing you dying in movies is hard enough for me, just the thought of you...."

"Then don't go there."

You shake your head and after some time he looks at you.

"Go upstairs and get some clothes, I will call Emma to pick you up."

"Are you sure she is going to be okay with us staying with her? I mean she does have a husband and two kids....we can go to a hotel or something."

"I will not go to a hotel, I already live in those for like 7 months in a year and everyone can walk into a hotel, you won't be safe there either and maybe the fact that there are little kids will keep her away."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Tell you what, we will be honest with her and Dean and tell them we can not guarantee that it brings no risk if they take us in and then let them choose."

"Okay." you agree.

"But I can tell you that she will be fine with it, you know she loves you almost just as much as I do and her boys like you too. And she is a stay at home mom meaning that when you do not want to come with me to the Donmar I don't have to worry about you being alone."

"Jason and Levi like me?" you ask surprised.

"Yes, I know you haven't spend much time with them but the few times you did spend time with them you made quite the impression on them, they kept asking me and Emma when you would be coming back so they could play with you again."

"They did?" you ask even more surprised.

"Yeah, and to tell you the truth, it made me realise that you would be an amazing mother one day."

When he releases you he gives you a quick kiss.

"Now go pack." he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tu es si belle, si magnifique; you're so beautiful, so magnificent


	15. Moving out

You go up the stairs and when you go into the bedroom you walk into the closet and you sigh. The drawers where your underwear was in are opened and your panties and bras are scattered across the floor, all sliced. You grab your suitcase and lay it open to put some jeans and shirts in it, while doing so you see she has not touched them or your shirts. When you take a look at Tom's side you see that some shirts are missing but otherwise his clothes have not been touched. After you have closed your suitcase you quickly walk to the bathroom, she also left that alone, and grabs some stuff then you walk downstairs again. When you are on the last step you see Tom walking towards you.

"I think I need to go shopping."

"Has she been upstairs?" Tom asks and looks at you.

"Yes, she has slashed all my panties and bras."

"Tom? Are you here?" you hear Emma's voice calling.

You turn to suddenly see a little boy running past you.

"Uncle Thomas!" he shouts.

He enthusiastically runs towards Tom, who goes through his knees to catch him and he scoops him up to set him on his hip.

"Hey, buddy." he says.

The boy lays his arms around Tom's neck and puts his head on his shoulder and Tom leans in to give him a soft kiss on his forehead. You are looking at the scene and smile when you consider that someday Tom will stand like that with your own kids and you praise yourself lucky that you can give them such a loving father. When Emma grabs your hand, you look at her.

"What happened? You okay?" she asks and looks at you with concern.

"Yes, I'm okay." you say.

"Why did I have to pick you up?"

You look at Tom as he comes walking towards you, setting the boy carefully back on the ground.

"I can not explain now I still need to do something but will you please take y/n home with you and the boys? I'll meet you there and we will explain everything to you."

"Okay."

Together you walk out and when your suitcase is in the trunk and Emma is putting the kids in the car Tom hugs you as close to him as he can. He opens the door for you and when you sit he leans towards you to give you a kiss.

"I'll come as soon as I can."

"Okay."

"I love you, my darling."

"I love you too."

Just when he wants to stand up he sees you biting your lip and he kneels beside you again, taking your hand. 

"What is it?" 

"When you tell the police about what happened, can you please ask them to keep what was on the picture a secret?" you say, looking at your joined hands.

"Of course." he says.

He kisses your hand before he stads up and closes the door, he lays his hand flat against the glass and you do the same. Then Emma starts the car and he looks after you until you are gone.

When Emma drives into the driveway of her house and turns the car of you unbuckle your seat belt.

"Would you take Levi? Then I take Jason." Emma asks.

You nod and open the back door, leaning over Levi so you can unbuckle his seat and you grab the handle to lift it with him out of the car seat. You walk inside behind Jason and Emma and when you put Levi with his seat on the table you unbuckle his belt and let your arms slip under his tiny body. Carefully you lift him up and you hold him close to your chest. For a moment, you close your eyes and you just enjoy holding him and when he makes soft cooing noises you smile. You put one hand under his buttocks and the other under his head and look at him.

"Y/N, what happened?"

You keep quiet when you look at her, but Emma is determined.

"Y/N, I care about you, if you're in danger, I want to know."

You sigh and hang your head.

"Can you make some tea for me, please?" you ask.

"Of course."

You walk into the living room and lay Levi in his box, then you sit on the couch, your eyes go to Jason who is playing with his blocks and you're glad he's young enough to enjoy a carefree life. You remain watching him a few minutes before Emma comes walking in with a tray with a teapot and two empty mugs. She sets it on the table and pours tea into the cups first, then she gives you one and the other she takes herself. You put your hands around the mug, grateful for the warmth and carefully take a small sip.

"Okay, tell me." Emma says.

You sigh and carefully fold your legs underneath you on the couch.

"Did Tom ever tell you about Lisa?" you ask.

"Lisa?" Emma says and she looks questionable, "the name is vaguely familiar but I do not know of which."

"Well, let's just say she was not exactly one of his sweeter fans." you say.

"What do you mean?"

"She Tom wrote a number of letters."

"What kind of letters?" Emma asks.

You just want to give an answer when the doorbell rings and you look up.

"That must be Tom." Emma says.

She gets up to open the door and, indeed, not much later you hear Tom's familiar voice go through the hall. When he enters the room he looks around, searching for you and when his blue eyes find yours he walks straight towards you. He sits down next to you and gives you a kiss on your temple and he looks at you again.

"Everything alright?" he asks.

"Yes, fine." You say and can't help but laugh a little.

"I mean it, as long as she is walking around there somewhere, you are not safe."

"From Lisa?" Emma suddenly says.

She puts a third mug down for Tom and pours tea into it.

"Did you tell her?"

"No, only that Lisa has sent you letters that went from sweet to obsessive."

"Obsessive?"

"Some fans go very far in their imagination, somehow she finds that she is the only one entitled to be the woman in my life." Tom says.

"And because y/n that woman is, she is after her?"

Tom nods and tells his little sister what happened in the last days from the note and the burglary to what she had pinned to the door with the knife.

"Thank God you weren't home." Emma says.

"I know,"Tom says,"but, as you could have seen, that isn't home anymore. The police is all over the place to search for prints and other things it's going to at least take a couple of days so we need a place to stay......"

"You can stay here." Emma emmidiatly says.

"You do realize that if you let us stay here there is the risk that you and your family are getting yourself into danger." Tom says.

"You are also family, the both of you and if there is anything I can do to help you I will." she replies.

You smile at her and feel Tom taking your hand to lace your fingers together, you smile and look at him. When you hear Emma chuckle you both look up.

"What?" you ask.

"Nothing, just....well, look at you, I haven't seen any couple that crazy for each other since......well, a very long time ago, knew it surprised me just that it has taken so long before you finally found each other. "

"Your mother also said something like that when she picked me up from the train station." you say.

"She was the first to know."

"The first?" Tom says, surprised.

"Did everyone knew except us?"

"Pretty much," Emma says with a shrug, "at least of Tom's feelings for you, he's an open book for Mom and me, but you were a lot more difficult to read, because we didn't know you so well."

"When did you know?" you ask.

Emma frowns and takes another sip of tea.

"At the premiere of Thor, The Dark World, during the after party."

"We have barely been together." Tom says.

"I know that's the point, y/n was almost the whole evening with Nat, Cat, Jamie, and Tom mainly with Chris and Robert. Mom told me to keep an eye on Tom and suddenly I saw it, he was constantly keeping on an eye you. Every five minutes he would look in your direction, and if you were still there he smiled and when you were not he continued to search the room with his eyes until he found you."

"When you say it like that it sound creepy." Tom says.

"No, it's sweet, your mom said he did that all the time when we would be somewhere with other people."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Well if I ever saw two people who have been made for each other it would be you two." Emma says.

You laugh and while Emma leaves the room Tom slides to the ground to help Jason to build a huge castle and you quietly drink your tea. The rest of the morning is pretty quiet, you mainly keep yourself busy with Levi so that Emma can do the house and when Emma is making lunch the front door opens. You have just laid Levi in bed and halfway down the staircase you suddenly stand eye to eye with him.

"Hey, y/n, what are you doing here?" he says as he closes the door and hang up his coat.

"I uh ...."

Suddenly the door to the living room opens and Emma stands before you.

"Hi Dean, I must tell you something." she says without hesitation.

Dean looks from Emma to you and back to Emma again, she gestures to him that he should follow her and you wait until he's passed you before you follow him into the room. You've seen him maybe twice all this time you know Tom so you do not know him very well and suddenly you regret that you have not waited for the request to Emma, the last thing you want is to cause problems in a good marriage. He is a pleasantly surprised to see Tom and shakes his hand. He then gives Jason a kiss on his head and looks at Tom again.

"Emma did not say you would be here, which is a nice surprise." he says.

"When you hear why it will become less nice." Emma says.

Dean looks questioningly at his wife and when she suggests that he should sit down he does so hesitantly. Without much further ado Emma tells what the situation is. You are now next to Tom and seeks his hand, when you find it you lace your fingers together. When Emma finishes her story Dean looks at you and Tom in turn, then he stands up and his eyes are worried.

"Are you okay?" he asks

"Yes, we are okay, glad we were not home last night."

"I understand that, but as Emma said, you are more than welcome to stay here."

You breathe a sigh of relief and from the nerves suddenly start to laugh so everyone looks at you puzzled. It takes a while before you find yourself back in control but then you look at them apologized.

"Sorry, you know, the whole situation is just so.... I am so grateful that we can stay even though you could be placing your boys in danger, you guys are the best."

Emma smiles at you and gives you a hug.

"Are you kidding? You're my little sister, y/n, and sisters take care of each other."

You nod grateful before she continues again with lunch, then Dean stands up and says he is going to have a look at Levi and when he is gone, you turn around and walk to the window. Fairly quickly you feel two arms around your waist and you are pressed against a solid chest.

"What are you thinking about, love?" he asks.

"I am thinking about how all this is al my fault."

"This is not your fault."

"Isn't it? If I would not be in your life as I am then she had never broken into your home, she never would have destroyed your furnishings, your beautiful things...." you say and can not help but let your breathing falter a little.

"And that's exactly what they are, _things_ , material things which can be replaced, you can not." Tom says and kisses your head.

"I think this afternoon I'm going to buy new underwear."

"I'll go with you." Tom says.

"Why are you sad?" you suddenly hear.

You look down and see Jasen watching you from around Tom's leg.

"That, my friend, is nothing for you to worry about. How is your castle?" Tom says as he lifts the boy.

"Ready!" he shouts and points downward.

"Wow! Such a beautiful castle I have never seen! I now have played a Prince twice for television and film, and even the castles where I lived in were not that impressive!"

Jason smiles shyly at the compliment and Tom puts him back down to see it up close. You walk over to the table and put the tea glasses on the tray to bring it to the kitchen. When you put it on the counter, Emma just finished setting the table and moments later you sit having lunch. After lunch, Dean says goodbye to you and you and Emma clean the table. When you and Tom are about to leave that afternoon he is being called on his mobile. You do not follow the whole story, but when you hear him saying the name Josie you look at him, that name sounds familiar to you but you do not know of which. When he hangs up he looks at you.

"What?" you ask.

"That was Josie Rourke, creative director of Coriolanus, apparently Hadley is sick and he might be able not play tonight and they might have to use his understudy. Because we have many scenes together they want me to come in so we can rehearse our scene's together."

"Now?" you say disappointed.

"Yeah, sorry. We can go tomorrow." he tries.

"Tom, I have no underwear except what I'm wearing, I really need something."

"I do not want you going alone."

"I will be careful." you promise.

"No, I am serious."

"Everything okay?" Emma asks.

Tom explains what is going on and Emma looks at you.

"I think that Tom is right, you should not walk the streets alone."

"Thank you."

"I can go along if you want?" she suggests.

"Really?" you ask.

"Yes, of course, I will get Levi dressed."

Emma disappears upstairs and you look at Tom. He takes you in his arms for a moment and gives you a kiss.

"See you later, love." he says and with that he is gone.

While Emma is busy with Levi you grab Jason's jacket and walk into the room.

"Jason, we are going into the city." you say.

He looks up and frowns.

"Why?" he asks, yet he stands up and grabs his jacket to put it on.

"Because I need some things."

"What kind of things." he asks, and sit down to put on his shoes.

"Womenly things." reply.

"What the hell are womenly things?"

"That is none of your business and think about your language young man." Emma says while she fastens Levi in the maxi-cosi.

While you bring Jason to the car and fastens him in, Emma picks up the bottom of the baby carriage so that she can clamp the maxi-cosi in it can when you are in the shops. When everyone is sitting and is buckled up Emma drives away. She parks the car and while Emma gets the baby carriage from the trunk you release Jason first and then Levi. Then you put the Maxi Cosi in the baby carriage and you walk into the street. It is not long before you find an underwear store and you walk inside. You grab a basket and here and there take a few off the shelves and when you have enough you walk to the checkout. On your way there you pass the lingerie and you look at it. When you think about the fact that your green baby doll is destroying you snoop in the racks and pick one of them out that looks like it and you walk to the checkout. After checkout is completed and Emma is also done, together you walk out.

Despite the cold, a nice sun shines and you decide on a terrace for a drink and while Emma pours some juice into a glass for Jason your attention goes to Levi. He is cooing in his maxi cosi, arms up and fists clenched, smiling while watching you, you reach a finger to his hand and quickly he grabs it with one of his hands to hold it tightly and to pull it to his mouth. You laugh at him and sometimes you come forward to give him a pat on the head with your a free hand which let's him make a cry of happiness.

"So," you hear Emma suddenly say, "when are you and Tom going to make me an aunt?"

"Oh, well, I do not know. He is now at a point in his career that he will be asked for a lot of movies and I myself am not ready."

"You could have fooled me."

You look at her in surprise while Levi is now sucking on your finger.

"Yes, you have not spent much time with my children but Jason and Levi both like you and they both adore Tom."

"Yes, but we haven't been together for that long...."

"Oh come on, you have been completely crazy about each other for two years! See that as foreplay and this as the real thing."

You smile while concentrating again on Levi, who now sucks on your finger as if his life depends on it.

"We have talked about it," you confess, "briefly."

"You are going to be wonderful parents, y/n. Your children will lack nothing."

You smile and when Emma hears her phone ringing she takes it out of her purse and gives it to you, you look at the screen and see the name Tom light up. You grab it and pick up.

"Hello ...."

"Thank God, I have called your mobile a hundred times but you did not pick up, I began to get worried." he says.

"Sorry, I forgot it." you say sheepishly.

"Does not matter, but please ensure that you always keep it with you from now on you so I can reach you if I'm not with you, darling."

"I'll do that, how are things going over there?"

"Well, Hadley is here only to provide guidance but his understudy does well."

"Nice to hear."

"And how is it going with you? Found anything?"

You tell him that you have enough underwear for the time being and that you even have found a new babydoll to replace the other. Tom smiles and tells you he can not wait to see it on you and you smile at the prospect of it. After you have said goodbye you pay the bill and you walk back to the car to go home. When you arrive at the car and want to drive away you and Emma see something behind the windscreen wiper and you look at each other. You open your door and reach for it with your hand to grab it and when you have it you close the door again. It's the same paper as the first note and you begin to tremble. Slowly you fold it open and when you read it you shake your head and lay it against the glass of your window. Emma grabs it from you and reads it.

_You can run to Tom's little sisters house and you might be safe inside, but you have to come out eventually and when you do, I'm watching you_


	16. Calming Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry about the tittle but, yeah....I really suck at making them up, sometimes it is harder then writing to story itself...

_You can run to Tom's little sisters house and you might be safe inside, but you have to come out eventually and when you do, I'm watching and waiting..._

You begin to tremble and when Emma places a hand on your knee you look at her.

"You want me to take you to Tom?" she asks.

"No....I don't know, he is busy with Hadley's understudy....."

You sigh shakily and try to hide your angst for Emma but she knows you well enough.

"You know what? I am going to take you to Tom,"you raise your hand to protest but Emma grabs it and lookst at you sternly,"no, y/n, you need him more now then the Donmar does and I am sure he doesn't mind you interrupting him for this and quite frankly I think he would want to know about this. But first I am going to drop the kids of at mums and then we will go to Tom, okay?"

You nod and while Emma drives to the house of her mom you call her up to see if she's home and whether she can watch the kids, she agrees af course but also wonders why. Because you do not want to let Jason know what's goingm kids sence so much of what goes on around them, you tell her that you will explain it later and then you hang up. You wipe your sweaty hands on your pants and instinctively look outside, there are a few people on the street and even though you are in the car you nevertheless feel watched. After a short drive Emma parks the car in front of the house of her mother who comes walking out. You unbuckle your seat belt and open the door of the car. Diana immediately gives you a hug and looks at you quizzically.

"What's the matter?" she asks.

You find it bad enough that Emma Dean and the children are involved in this and your brain turns fully.

"Oh, uh .... Emma and I just want to catch a movie together, without the kids." you say.

Emma looks at you puzzled over the car but luckily she plays along with you.

"Yes, we have not seen each other for so long, we want to catch up." she explains.

"Okay, well I love to watch my grandchildren, you know."

Diana takes over Levi with the maxi-cosi from Emma and she walks inside while you wait untill Emma has Jason unbuckled. When you walk in together you thank her. After a cup of tea you walk out again to go to the Donmar. Emma parks the car as close to the entrance as she can and when you are inside and walk in the direction of the stage you look around you constantly while Emma keeps a hand on the small of your back. You take a deep breathe and just when you feel yourself calm again you hear Tom's voice and unconsciously you walk faster. When you walk around the corner and see him standing you realize that they are taking a break. He wears a black sweatpants and a white T-shirt with a long black coat hanging open. He is holding a mug of tea and is talking to Hadley and they laugh at something but as soon as you make eye contact and he sees the look in your eyes the smile fades from his face quickly. As if he can see inside your head he instantly notices that something is wrong and he abandens his tea and Hadley and comes to you. Although you could still keep fairly calm opposite Diana, now you are face to face with Tom and his worried look you start to shake again. He takes you into his arms and yours slip under his coat and you bury your head in his chest.

"What's going on? What are you doing here? Y/N, what is it darling?"

You let all his questions go past you and close your eyes to fully concentrate on his voice, his smell, his hands that slowly go up and down over your back soothingly and you feel yourself calm down under his touch. You breathe a few times deeply in and out and then you look at him, he frames your face with his hands and looks at you. You see the concern in his eyes.

"What happened?"

Before you can say something Emma gives him the note and he takes it to read it. You see his eyes fill up with fire and anger and he presses his lips together. You feel the anger radiating from him and suddenly you realize that in the many years that you've known him you have never seen him so angry and you know he must restrain himself. He gives the note back to his little sister and takes you in his arms again to hold you tight and your arms go around his waist again.

"Are you okay? God, I'm so sorry, you are surely staying here tonight, are you? If you do not want to that's okay, of course, but I'd feel better if I could see you, knowing your safe...."

Tom is rattling so worried he suddenly is about you and you place your hand on his cheek, which attracts his attention and he looks at you.

"Of course I'll stay." you say.

"Yes? Good, that's good." he leans forward to give you a kiss.

"Just like you need to see me to convince yourself I am safe I need to see you and hear you to feel safe." you explain.

"You are safe with me because I will do everything I can to protect you with my life and if need be, I will fight for you."

"I know." but you pray to God it does not come to that.

"Hadley can not go on stage tonight so he can stay with you."

"Tom, I do not need a babysitter," you protest, "and besides, I am not alone here anyway."

"I know that but please, just humor me, okay?"

You smile at him and when Emma clears her throat you look at her.

"Shall I bring this note to the police?"

"If you want to do that."

"Of course."

Before you say goodbye to her Emma gives you the key to her house so you and Tom can let yourself in then Tom grabs your hand and laces your fingers together before you walk to Hadley together, he has been watching you, and although you do not know him, he knows Tom very good after spending two months with him on stage every night and he immediately sees that something is wrong. He looks at him questioningly and when Tom looks at you you nod. You find a place where no one can hear you and Tom explains to him what is going on, he finds it sorry for you and Tom and he promises that he will not leave your side the entire evening.

It is already at the end of the afternoon and the actors slowly trickle in. Therefore there is a lot of movement around you and your eyes go all over the place until Tom leans against a desk and pulls you towards him.

"Hey, look at me." he says.

You look at him and put your hands against his shoulders.

"I meant what I said, you're safe here, their are guards at every exit, she will not get in here."

"I know, I'm just startled that's all." you say.

"Only logical. I'm so sorry, darling."

He lets his arms slip around your waist and draws you to him.

You remain there and when Hadley comes walking towards you with some food and drinks you take it gratefully from him. After the meal it's time for Tom to get ready for the performance, and he leaves you in the company of Hadley. Although you do not know him, you soon discover that he is a very sweet man who is very easy going and also very funny. He constantly makes jokes where you really need to laugh about and after you have burst into giggles the umpteenth time the tears roll down your cheeks. You wipe them away and look at him and meet his face where a smile is located.

"Thank you, really, I needed that."

"You're welcome."

You look at Tom who is on the stage with Hadley's study under, practicing the fighting scene and he now also has his costume on. The rest of the rehearsals you watch in silent and at some point the actors have to leave the stage because the audience can come walking in anytime. Tom comes to you and his arm goes around your waist.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine."

He remains briefly with you until he is called by Josie to take his place. During the show, you notice that Hadley mouths every sentence with his understudy and sometimes even the same movements. You chuckle and that attracts his attention and he gives you a nudge with his shoulder.

"Don't laugh at me." he says.

"I not laughing at you, really, I just think it's beautiful as passionate as you are. It must be hard for you to not play."

"It is. In my entire career, all the times I had to stand by and watch I can count on one hand. And actors who play with as much passion as Tom too. You know, he talked about you at times, I always wondered why he didn't do that more often because every time he would he got that sparkle in his eyes and so much passion in his voice, I don't know if others noticed but to me it was clear pretty quickly that he loved talking about you."

Your smile and look at the scene, they are about halfway and the times that Tom is not used on stage he uses to help Hadley's under study with his lines and movements. It's a young lad who has not much experience with theater and he enjoys the attention he gets from Tom. Sometimes he looks over his shoulder at you and every time you give him a nod to indicate that you are okay. By the time the kissing scéne starts you realize that you can handle it better than the first time you saw it and maybe that's because of the fact that in recent days, Tom has done everything to make you see that you are the only one for him. But his death scéne you still find hard to look at and you play with your fingers when the time comes that he gets the rope around his ankles and he is hoisted up. Hadley sees and turns to you.

"You know, it is completely safe, there are safety measures taken for him much more than any other actor in the theater."

You look at him, frowning your eyebrows.

"That does not seem quite fair, as if he is worth more than the other actors."

"He is, he's a big movie star and very popular. If something happens to him it could mean the end of his career, no one here wants that on his conscience."

Just as you want to say something the public begins to applaud to indicate that it's over, you and Hadley slip from the desk and start clapping too. After they have returned to the stage a couple of times the curtain closes for good and Tom comes to you. He thanks Hadley that he has stayed with you and hands interwoven, you to walk to his dressing room. Once inside he turns around and looks at you.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine."

"Will you help me to get clean?"

"Always."

He smiles and leads you to the shower, he turns it on and while the water gets hot you undress each other slowly and when he pulls you in the shower and into his arms you close your eyes and you enjoy his closeness. When you feel his lips in your neck you sigh and you turn your head to give him some more space, his hands wander slowly over your body and eventually they frame your face so he can kiss you long and deep. You let yourself be pushed backwards until you are against the wall, his hands go down, one lingers on your breast that he caresses and gently kneads and the other slides further down and eventually finds your knee, he hoists it up and you lay it around his hip. The other hand follows the same path, and when you have both lying around his hip, he breaks the kiss.

"Look at me." he whispers.

You open your eyes and meet clear blue ones looking at you affectionately and you smile, you let your hand go over his face and your thumb strokes his lip. He turns his face slightly and opens his lips to suck it inside and slowly his tongue turns around your thumb. Your breath falters and you bite your lip at the erotic action. He turns his hips in a circle and when you feel his erection slowly slip inside your mouth forms an "O" and Tom begins to slowly thrust inside. He takes his time with you, the thrusts remain slow and deep and the feeling intensifies when he bends forward and kisses and bites the spot where your neck meets your shoulders. You tilt your hips forward and feel him go a little deeper and the thrusts go a little faster but remain slow. Tom let his hands slip over your legs and he locks them behind his back, then he puts his hands against the wall and the thrusts are coming faster. You groan and let your go hands in his wet hair and you hear his harsh breathing in your ear, his moaning and groaning and sometimes a curse.

"Are you close?" he gasps.

When want to say something you feel an intense orgasm rolling through your body and your muscles tighten around his shaft.

"Fuck, y/n, God ......."

While your body becomes limp in his arms, he thrust a few times softly, pursuing his own climax and when you feel him emptying himself inside you biting your shoulder, you pull him close to you. After you let yourself on the ground, still panting, you hold onto him until you are sure that your legs can carry you. Then you help him with his shower and when you wear your clothes again you walk to the stage. Because of your long shower everyone is gone now and the only light you see is the moonlight that shines in through the windows. You suddenly see shadows everywhere and onconsiously you walk a little closer to Tom and you take his hand a bit firmer. He notices that you do not feel comfortable and he lays an arm around you.

"It's okay." he says.

When you suddenly think you see a moving shadow you stand stock-still, you hope you are imagining things but when Tom pushes you behind him and sets a step back you know it was real.

"Tom ..." you whisper.

"Shh". he says.

The shadow comes closer and when you see that he holds a long stem you start to pull him away but he resists.

"Tom, come ....."

"No, wait a minute." he says.

The shadow comes closer and when he comes out on stage you are ready to run away but then you hear Tom suddenly breathe a sigh of relief and you frown your eyebrows.

"James ..." he says.

The man looks up and you look around Tom's back at him, it's an older man with a blue overalls and a cart on wheels where water is in and the long stem appears to be a mop. You put your head against his back of relief.

"Mr. Hiddleston, what are you still doing here? The play has finished two hours ago."

"Yeah, I uh .... we forgot the time. And please call me Tom."

"We?" he asks.

"Yes, I and....." Tom takes a step sideways and you give James a wave of your hand, "y/n."

"Oh, hello young lady," he says, smiling, "I'm James, the cleaner here, have been for 40 years."

"Yes, the cleaner." Tom laughs.

"You were great again tonight, Mr. Hiddlr.... Tom." the cleaner says.

"Thank you."

"Every night I think to myself, better than then last one it does not get and every night you surprise me again."

"That I also aim on, James."

Tom takes your hand and leads you to the stairs to walk of the stage, at the exit to the outside Tom takes his phone to call a taxi and because of the late hour you only have to wait five minutes. When you come home you quietly sneak upstairs and when you lie in bed Tom pulls you againt him. It is not long before you fall asleep.


	17. unpleasant news

The following days are much of the same, by the time you and Tom come down Dean's already left for work and Emma is busy with the kids. You and Tom have breakfast together first and the rest of the day you spent relaxing. Tom and Jason are almost always together and at the end of the week nearly inseparable. Together with Emma you take care of Levi and he appears to already recognize you when he sees you. He laughs at you and when you pick him up, he lays his thick arms as good as he can around your neck.

Every evening you go along to the Donmar with Tom and because he does not want to disappoint his fans, he get's out off the car just before the last corner so he walks the last bit and can hand out autographs. You park the car in the parking lot at the back entrance, Tom has arranged that Hadley waits for you there so you can walk inside together. Every evening the two of you sit together to watch and even though you were afraid that the play would get bored you find it fascinating to watch every night. You also get to know Hadley a bit better and gradually tell him a little more about yourself and he also begins to trusts you to tell you things about himself.

The evening always ends the same, you and Tom share a shower that always starts with hands sliding across bare wet skin and lips exploring and eventually turns into slow passionate lovemaking that ends with an intense orgasm before you wash and drive to Emma's home.

When you wake up on Saturday morning you realize that you've heard nothing further from Lisa all week and you find yourself relaxed again, you feel freely and not being watched. You stretch out and turn on your side. Tom is sleeping next to you, he is lying on his stomach with his arms under his pillow and you take a moment of your time to just look at him. Just when you lean forward to kiss him there is a knock at your door and it slowly opens. You expect to see Emma but to your surprise a small boy peeks around the corner of the door.

"Hi Jason."

He smiles shyly and remains behind the door.

"Is Uncle Thomas awake yet?" he asks softly.

"Well, I don't know, let me look."

You move slightly towards Tom and softly say his name. He stirs a little but his eyes remain closed.

"Thomas, there is someone who wants to play with you."

"Then play with me." he mumbles.

His arm goes around your waist to pull you against him but you stop him quickly and laughs.

"No, not me, your nephew."

"What?"

"Jason." you say.

Tom lets you go and looks at you, you nod to the door and Tom turns his head to look. Jason is now leaning against the door frame, fingers playing together and he looks up through his eyelashes.

"Hey, buddy." Tom says and he sits up.

Jason gets a smile on his face and bounces from one foot to the other with excitement now Tom is awake.

"Come here." he says and reaches out his arms to the boy.

Jason suddenly runs towards the bed and wants to jump up but because his legs are to short he fails so Tom takes his arms and hauls him in his lap and you hear the laughter of the boy, it is contagious and you also smile and Tom starts to tickle him and when Jason starts waving around with his arms you slowly move away from the two. The boy shrieks with laughter and just when you've got a leg outside the bed Tom grabs you around your wrist and pulls you back so you fall beside them.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

You just want to answer when suddenly the door opens and Dean stands in the doorway.

"What is going on in here?" he asks, but when he sees the spectacle he smiles, "Jason, I told you to let Tom and y/n sleep."

"Oh it does not matter." Tom says quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course. It's time to get up anyway."

"Okay, let me just get this fellow out of your way so you can get dressed."

Dean walks forward and picks Jason up who starts to whine a little when he is being taken out of reach from Tom, who in his turn promises Jason he will be down in a minute. After Dean closed the door you laugh.

"That boy adores you." you say.

"It's a great kid." Tom says.

"Sure, and you will sometime be a great father." you say and give him a kiss before you put on your clothes.

Once downstairs, you see that Dean and Jason are playing and quietly you sneak into the kitchen to have breakfast.

"I was approached by Guillermo del Toro some time ago." he suddenly says.

"Who is that?"

"A producer, he is busy casting roles for his new film."

"Is he now?" you ask, already knowing where this is going.

"Yeah, it's called Crimson Peak, it is set in Cumbria, in a crumbling mansion in a largely rural and mountainous region of northern England in the 19th century, where a young author named Edith Cushing, played by Mia Wasikowska who also played opposite me in Only lovers left Alive as Eve's sister, discovers that her charming new husband Sir Thomas Sharpe, played by me, is not who he appears to be."

"Oh that sounds omnious."

"I know, I can't wait, and you know what? Jessica Chastain plays Lady Lucille Sharpe, my sister, she was in the movie Coriolanus were she played his wife."

"Wow, small world, isn't it?"

"Yeah, and even smaller when you consider that Benedict was cast as Thomas Sharpe before me but he had to withdraw."

"Why?"

"I don't know, I called him, to tell him about Guillermo and that he offered me the role."

"What did he say?"

"He thought it amazing, he was happy for me."

"Of course he was, he's your friend."

"When does filming start?"

"Two weeks into february." he says softly.

"Where?"

"Toronto."

Your eyes get wide at that and you look at him.

"For how long?"

"I don't know, usually filming takes up at least two, three months. I'm so sorry, I should have told you but with everything that happened, I haven't even read the script...."

"But you still accepted."

"Well, yeah, Guillermo is one of those producers I have always looked up to, he was nominated for an Oscar six times, he won three, to be working with some one like him is a great honor. He told me about the plot and my role and I just....I fell in love with it immediately and the cast is amazing too. I'm sorry."

"No it does not matter, I just ..... I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to share my life with you and although it will be difficult sometimes I meant what I said that night you showed up on my doorstep; I will take any time I can get with you because it is you. I had only hoped that I could have you for myself a little longer."

"Then come with me."

You laugh and lean back in your chair.

"That's possible, perhaps for a week or so but then I'd be so bored, in a foreign city, alone."

"I would be with you." Tom replies.

"Yes, for the evenings."

"And nights." he says with a evocative look in his eyes.

"That you should use to rest and we both know that if you spend them with me you will not get that rest."

"I don't want to leave you here, I dont like the idea of being on the other side of the world while she is still out there," he says softly, "I won't be able to protect you, it makes me feel like I'm abandoning you."

"I know and your not, you can not put your carreer on hold to stay here just to make sure I am okay."

"I will if you ask me." he says.

"I know," you say, reaching over and taking his hands in yours,"and I also know how important acting is for you and you have worked way to hard to get where you are now, I could never ask you to give that up for me, but that's still two weeks away, who knows they have arrested her already by then." you say.

"Let's hope so." he says. "I need to go back to the house, the script is there. Y/N, do you think you will ever feel safe in that house again?"

You frown your eyebrows and think.

"I don't know, I will if you are there with me but I would rather not want to be there alone."

"You want me to sell it?"

"What? No, no please, it's such a beautiful house, I don't...."

"Darling,"Tom says and squeezes your hand,"it's okay, Coriolanus runs for two more weeks and after that I will be going to Toronto for at least two months. Even if it was fit to live in then I would not want you to be there alone so the coming three months, it will be empty anyway. And it also gives you some distraction while I'm gone."

"Really? You trust me enough to find us a new home on my own?"

"Hey as long as your there, I'm fine with it and besides my home is where you are, you know this."

Tom smiles and squeezes your hand, he leans back and picks up another sandwich.

"What about your birthday? Your not going to skip that are you?"

"No I'm not, but I don't want a party with God knows how many guests. I want it to be just you and me."

"Seriously? Never thought you would ever turn down the opportunity of a party."

"I know, and although I do like to party I will be leaving right after for two months, I just want to spent some nice quality with you before I go, I wanted to reserve the room with Morgan again."

"That sounds great," you say and then you get an idea,"is it okay of I call him to reserve it?"

Tom looks up at you, surprised.

"Sure." he says hesitant.

"Thanks."

Later that day, Tom says goodbuy to you to go to his house and while your call after him to see if he can somewhere find your scrapbook you let yourself fall into the couch to drink a cup of tea. You change channels a little on the TV when Emma comes walking later that day with Levi in her arms.

"Hey, you want to give him his bottle?"

"Of course." you reply.

You take Levi from her and while Emma warms his bottle you take his little hand and give it a little kiss. Levi coos with delight and cheerfully smiles at you. You smile back and suddenly you think of how it would be to have a little one with Tom. Your heart fills with warmth by the idea to put his child on the world and you lean forward to give him a little kiss on his forehead.

"I want to make a wager with you." Emma says when she re-enters the room.

"And that is?"

"I bet you're pregnant of Tom within half a year." she says.

Emma gives you the bottle and as if Levi knows he immediately reaches his little hands to the bottle and starts whining a little to let you know he wants his bottle.

"What?"

You let the nipple slowly slide into his mouth and look with satisfaction as he starts drinking.

"At least half a year, possibly even earlier, too."

"I don't know..."

"I do, seeing you with Levi and Tom with Jason, you both are so ready for one of your own."

You smile and look at her.

"Who says our kids will be just as decent as yours?"

"Why wouldn't they? These one's are half Hiddleston and so will be yours and I refuse to believe that your genes are that bad."

"Probably not, as long as they look like their father from the outside..."

"Why would you say that?" Emma asks and looks at you frowning.

"Oh come on, I know I am not that beautifull and Tom is, so...."

"Yeah well, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, they say," Emma says and sips her own tea,"and I remember Tom saying once that we always think 'every one else is cooler, every one else is sexier every one else has all the answers'."

You blush at the refenrence she makes to an article you saw once on the internet after Total Film declared him Sexiest Actor and you bite your lip making Emma laugh, throwing a pillow at you.

"God, if someone had told me my brother would one day be a true sex symbol I would have laughed in their faces so hard." she says.

"Yeah well, he has it on paper so shame on you." you say and throw the pillow back at her.

"Can I ask you something?" Emma asks.

"Sure."

"Have you talked about going public?"

"No, not really."

"Why?"

You bite your lip and look at Levi again who is now halfway his bottle.

"I don't know. We just wanted to have what we have to ourselves, but thinking about the fact that when we were out last weekend Tom was in disguise en nobody recognized him so if we want we can stay under the radar."

"So it is more that you don't want to give up your privacy, because as soon a you and Tom go public, media will probably follow you too even when you are alone."

"I know and I am really not ready for that yet, I don't think I ever will but I don't really have a choice now do I?"

"I'm sorry."

"Don't, I knew very well what I was getting myself into, it's just a part of Tom's life, one of the less nice ones I admit but I love him so I will just have to get used to it and for Tom I will."

"You know, maybe it's good if you and Tom are being seen out and about."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, maybe if you show up on photos together, holding hands, share a touch or a kiss here and there and just show that you are very happy with each other maybe Lisa will go crazy or something because then she has to conclude that the it is very serious between you and that you will not let yourself be scared away by her something she is clearly trying to do, perhaps she will make a mistake."

"Sounds logical."

"Talk to him about it."

"Yeah, I will."

When you notice that Levi his bottle is emty you put it away and pick up a cloth to lay over your shoulder, then you gently reposition him and rub your hand over his back.

"Emma?" you ask, making her look at you,"can I ask your opinion on something and please be honest."

"Sure."

You tell her about Tom's plan to spend some time alone with you on his birthday before he leaves to make his latest film and despite that you would like that too, you still want to give a slightly different addition to the evening. You tell her that you want to reserve a room and would like to invite one of Tom's best friends, who he has not seen for more than six months.

"You think he will like it?"

"He will love it, I'm sure he would love to see him again before he leaves, especially after the last few weeks with all that has happend. As far as I know he is one of the few Tom has always felt at ease with."

Then you hear the front door open and a minute after Tom walks into the living room.

"Oh look at that, what a beautiful sight." he says, referring to you and Levi.

"Do you have the scrapbook and the script?" you ask.

"Yes, here."

He keeps the plastic bag up and pulls out his script and your scrapbook.

"What is that?" Emma asks.

"A scrapbook of Coriolanus, articles, photos, stuff like that."

"Oh, can I see it?"

"Sure."

Tom Emma gives the scrapbook and she smiles when she sees his name on the cover. She opens it and suddenly there is a piece of paper.

"What is this?"

You and Tom look up and see that she holds it to read and her eyes get wide. She looks at you and gives Tom the paper. Together you read it.

_Shall I tell you a secret? However, a secret, you know how it is, deep down. Why Tom is with you. He is already 33, he will want a family one day, he just doesn't have the time to go out and get to know a woman, really get to know her. It takes months, time he does not have so he has choosen the easy way out, you are easy, convenient and more then willing aren't you? He knows you, he knows what he is in for with you. So you see, Tom is not with you because he loves you so much, the way a man should love his woman, he has no idea what that feels like, not untill he gives me a chance, I will show him what it is like to be really loved, wanted, desired. And once he does give into me he will regret the time he spent on you, knowing it was wasted because he could have spent it with me. So enjoy the time you have left with him, it will end one day, maybe sooner then you think._

There falls a silence in the room, your eyes wander to Levi who now is sleeping in your arms delightfully, you dare not look at Tom, why you do not know so you stand to lay Levi in his box. When you take a step back you feel that Tom takes your hand but you pull it back. He gets up and goes standing in front of you, his hands reach for your face but you step out of his reach.

"Y/N ...."

"No, just leave me .... I ...."

You put your arms around your waist, and without saying another word to you leave the room and run up the stairs to your bedroom, you throw open the door and walk to the adjoining bathroom, you put your hands on the edge of the sink and look at your reflection. The conversation that you and Tom have had on the terrace comes back in your mind, why he would choose you when he has the choice of the most beautiful women of England, probably the world, so why the hell would he waste his time with someone like you?

"I love you." you suddenly hear behind you.

"I know." you reply.

"It's not true." he says, and you hear the determination in his voice.

"It may not be true but there is an element of truth in it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're so busy, Tom, making films, visit premieres, give interviews, you have so little time for yourself, seeying you with Jason this past week made me realize how much you want te be a dad and you would be an amazing one, but you are 33, most guys your age already are a father of one of sometimes even two,"you turn around and look at him,"she was right when she said you do not have time to get to know a woman to fall in love, ....."

"I do not want to get to know a woman to fall in love," he walks up to you and while he falls on his knees before you he grabs your hands in his, "because I already am in love with you, darling!"

The look in his eyes breaks your heart, despair, sadness but also anger, anger that Lisa has made you doubt his love for you and that with some words on a note she can undermine that. You squeeze your eyes shut and you curse yourself when you feel tears and want to wipe them away with your hands but Tom refuses to let them go.

"Look at me."

You breathe in and out deeply, willing to push back the tears.

"Please, look at me."

You open your eyes slowly and look at him, he gives a tug on your hands until you are sitting on your knees too and Tom places one hand against your cheek. Involuntarily you lean against the touch, Tom leans towards you and kisses your tears away, slowly making a path to your ear.

"Never in my life have I loved anyone so unconditionally and irrevocably like I do you and I have been loving you for so long, I can not live without you, y/n, I do not want to do without you because without you, I'm nothing, I'm nobody."

"You would still have your fans." you quitly say.

"I don't care, they may be the ones that put me into this position and they may be the reason I can life my life like I want to but that life means nothing to me if I can not share it with you. It took us two years to get here, don't let her take that away, we have come so far. Please don't let her win, don't let her get to you, don't do this to me, to us."

"I'm sorry." you whisper through your tears.

"It's okay," he says, smiling against your skin,"just promis me you will not leave me, you can't, I won't let you leave me. Just say you will stay with me, please."

"I'll stay with you, I promis."

You hear Tom breathing a sigh of relief before he leans back and looks at you and you manage to smile through your tears at him. Before you can do anything he comes forward and catches your lips in a passionate kiss and his arms snake around your waist to pull you close to him making you feel the determination in it, the determination to make you feel how much he truly loves you, to make you feel how much you mean to him and that he can not do without you in his life. Slowly you stand up and Tom lifts you to take you to the bedroom and he crawls on his knees to the middle of the bed. He lays you down gently and his kisses go down, his fingers open the buttons of your blouse and he kisses every piece of skin which he bares. When your blouse is open, he continues with your pants and every piece of skin revealed he treats as if it were sacred to him. When you're only wearing your bra and slip he sits up and takes off his shirt, then his hands move to his pants to open it and pull it off. All the time you say nothing but keep eye contact, after he has sought your hands he laces them together and places them beside your head and your lips find each other again, the kiss that follows is just as passionate as the kiss that you shared in the bathroom and gasping for breath you break it. Then Tom takes off your bra and panties and he slowly pulls off his own boxer. You only notice that he is already hard when his erection slowly slides into you and you moan softly. Tom's lips attach themselves to your neck firmly and he rolls his hips forward lazily, taking his time with you, and as he does so he keeps whispering words of his unconditional love to you. It seems to take forever, and when you finally feel your climax approaching, you put your ankles in his lower back, urging him to go faster but he continues to slowly thrust into you until you fall over the edge and you pull him with you. Instead of falling besides you his arms slide around your body and he buries his face in your neck, still murmuring sweet nothings into your ear untill your breathing becomes normaal again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cookies for you if you know who the friend is!


	18. chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I am just going to stop wracking my brain giving the chapters names so from no on they will be just 'chapters' :)

"I love you, please believe that."

"I do, you have showed me so many times how much and I am so sorry for the way I reacted."

"It's okay, just never doubt my love for you ever again."

"I won't, I promis," you say and your fingers slip through his hair,"can you do me a favor?"

"Sure, anything." he says and kisses your neck.

"Grow your hair?"

"Grow my hair?" he repeats, not understanding.

"Yeah, not long but long enough to let the curls set in, like how you had it when you were attenting Comic Con 2011."

"Wait," he says and comes up to look at you,"that was in 2011, we didn't even know each other back then."

"Well, you didn't know me but I sure did know you." you say, winking, making him laugh.

"So, you liked the curls then?"

"Oh I loved the curls, made you so much more sexy."

"In that case," he says, kissing your neck again,"considerd them back, darling."

"Thank you."

"You know, the character I am playing has black hair so probably I can convince Guillermo to dye my hair black."

"God, it's a good thing I won't be with you because you will look so god damn sexy I wouldn't even be able to keep my hands off of you."

Tom laughs and comes up again.

"You know, I will be there for at least two months, you could come and visit me once I am settled in."

"Sure, you want me to go to the airport with you, see you off?"

"Are you sure? There might be media there, they could take our picture togther and then people will know about you."

"I know, but Emma told me something that made sence."

"What was that?"

You tell him about what she thinks about Lisa, about how she could go crazy when she sees the two of you together, being all happy. Tom nods and agrees with her but when you say that she might make a mistake then his face turns hesitant.

"Wouldn't that put you into more danger?"

"Maybe, but I promise I will be careful and I will stay inside and otherwise that Emma will be with me."

Tom goes lying on his back and takes you with him, you lay your head on his chest and drape your arm over his waist.

"I don't like where this is going." he says, fingers slowly slipping through your hair.

"Me neither but something has to happen, I can't life like this, like I need someone around at all times, you know me Tom, you know I need my own space too, I need time for myself. Otherwise I go crazy."

"I know and I am sorry."

"This is not your fault."

"She was a fan of mine."

"No she wasn't,"you say and lean on your chin to look at him,"a real fan wouldn't act like this, this possessive, this dominant. A real fan would want you to be happy no matter with who you are."

Tom smiles at you, pulling you up to kiss you. 

"Wy don't you stay home tonight?" he suggests.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, that note has had quite an impact on you, more then it should have. Wy don't you let Emma make you some dinner and then go to bed early. This last week, staying up till late, getting up early, as much as I know you need your own space, I also know you are not a morning person and you love to sleep."

"That I do." you agree, smiling.

"So stay here, get something to eat and go to bed, or take a bath and go to bed then, just get some sleep."

"Okay."

As if on que you start to yawn, suddenly you are so tired you can hardly keep your eyes open. Tom helps you under the covers and then starts to dress, when he is done he sits down on the bed, hands next to your head.

"I will ask Emma to bring you something to eat," he then leans forward to kiss you,"I will be home as soon as I can, okay?"

You nod your head and lean up to give him one last kiss before he leaves.

The next time you wake up you notice it is already dark in the room and you sit up slowly. Then you see there has been a table placed next to the bed with a tray with a bowl which after taking it you realize contains soup, and a plate with some roated bread. You smile and start to eat, breaking some bread into it and when your done you put it back and get out of bed. You stretch yourself and walk wo the bathroom to turn on the tap and make yourself a bath. When you hear knocking on the door you place a robe around you and open the door. You see Emma standing, looking at you smiling.

"Are you okay?"she asks.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you for the soup and bread, juts what I needed."

"Is there anything else you need? Anything I can get you or do for you?"

"Emma, your not my housemaid." you say while walking to the bathroom to check on the bath.

"I know, but Tom, he is really worried about you, he asked me to keep an eye on you while he was gone so....."

You turn around and see her lingering in the doorway.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine, just....I don't know, I've never seen Tom like this."

"Like what?"

"Like, so helpless almost. All his life, if he had some sort of problem or something would go wrong he would know what to do and he would fix it, I once had this boy in my class who would take my lunchmoney just because he could and when Tom found out he was so angry that one day he walked up to him and this guy was huge, like really huge and Tom was, well, like how he still is and I was already having visions about visiting my brother in the hospital but he just walked up to him and started talking to him. Can you believe that! He just started to talk to the guy! I was like, what the hell?! But it worked, I have no idea what he said to him but whatever it was, it got him to apoligize and he never took my money again but this.........this is something he can't fix. It's something he would want to fix more then anything, if only to know you would be safe but he can't. It takes it's toll on him, I can see it."

"I never meant for this to happen." you say softly, feeling a little guilty.

"I know."

You stand like that for some time untill Emma suddenly comes forward and hugs you.

"We will get through this, y/n, we will, the police will find her and they will arrest her. Then you and Tom can finally begin your life together, a life that has been postponed for to long, that has been put on hold for far to to long. You deserve it, you deserve each other more then anyone else does."

When she lets you go you smile at her only to be pushed aside.

"The bath!" she exclaims and turns the tap off.

"Thank you." you smile.

"Your welcome, well, it's my house so, my floor."

"No, I didn't mean that, I meant what you said. Thank you."

"Anytime,"she walks up to you and takes your hands,"now take your bath and then go back to bed, okay?"

"Okay." you say.

Once you have stepped out of the bath you lay a bathrobe around you and you decide to go downstairs. It's after seven o'clock and the kids are already in bed so it's only Emma and Dean sitting on the couch with a cup of tea and they look up when you come in.

"Hey," Dean says, "how are you?"

"I'm good," you answer,"I suddenly felt the urge for some tea. "

You walk into the kitchen to grab a mug and when you have your tea you sit back comfortable on the couch. Dean zaps through the channels back and forth when suddenly you recognize the front of the Donmar and you sit up. You smile when you see Tom handing out signatures to the many fans and there seem to be a lot more than nornaal. The commentator confirms your suspicion, because he says that the last days of the performance he did not come to sign autographs after for the fans, they now all come before the performance. Then the camera zooms in on a group slightly to the left of him, they begin to get impatient and push and shove and scream to get closer to their goal. When the guards grab the fences because they threaten to collapse under the pressure you notice that Tom's eyes go there and you see his lips move but you can not hear what he says.

"He promises that he will give them all a signature but they must be patient." Emma says.

You barely hear it because your eyes remain focused on the screen and the group of fans seem to get less and less patience despite Tom's promise that if they will be patient he will get to them. When his arm reaches over the fans to take a paper someone in the group suddenly moves forward aggressively and grabs his arm to pull him to her. Tom's eyes become wide and you're suddenly on the edge of the couch, one of the guards intervene and also extends his hand into the mass to try to pull him out but she holds it to firmly. You look with bated breath how he tries to get away but the woman fists his coat in her hand and it seems hopeless. Even fans around the group who where first looking in shock now try to help him but it does not seem to work and eventually Tom must wriggle out of his coat to get free and he is whisked away by the guards right away. You look shocked how the group of fans suddenly start pushing as one man making the barriere fall over. They jump to the doors that the staff manage to lock before they have the chance to get in. The staff sets a step backward startled while the so-called fans beat on the windows with their hands.

"He is fine,"Emma says and you look at her,"he called after it, he sounded a little upset but he was fine. I even got the idea that he felt bad for the staff of the Donmar, who he apologized profusely to, they had no idea what was happening. They sre not used to behavior like this, eventually they had to call the police to calm them down."

"Why would they do that? Tom has always been nothing but kind and friendly to his fans, always stopping to sigh signatures and pose for selfies. He has always giving them what they wanted. He always made time for them no matter how busy or even how tired he was. I hope this doesn't stop that." 

"I'm sure it doesn't, you saw some of the fans tried to help him, he must have seen that too." Dean says.

"And next to that, he was also attacked at the red carpet event in Cannes and that also didn't stop him."

"I read about that online, at first I thought I had read it wrong, I just couldn't believe it really happened, I remember how relieved I was when I read he was okay, that the guards caught her in time."

You place the mug back on the table and when you yawn again Emma smiles at you.

"You should go back to bed."she says.

"Good idea, goodnight."

"Goodnight, y/n."

You wake up when you feel the bed dip beside you and two arms sliding around your waist, because you already had some decent sleep you instantly awake and you turn your head. Tom gives you a kiss on your cheek and wants to go to sleep but you are searching for blue eyes and look at him.

"What?"

"I've seen what's happened, are you okay?" you ask.

"Yeah, fine, just a little shocked, but I'm still alive."

"I do not understand why they would do such a thing, you always give them everything."

"Some are harder to please than others." He shrugs.

"Have you ever seen Lisa?" you suddenly asks.

"No, I did not."

"So, she can therefore be pretty much anyone."

"I guess."

You bite your lip and look away but Tom places his hand on your cheek and turns your face towards him.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, just .... when she pulled you towards her, suddenly it went through me that it might be her."

"I have not thought of that."

"I do, Jesus, Tom, she could've had a knife with her, she could have seriously wounded you!" you say suddenly.

"Hey, it's okay, I'm okay." he says and pulls you into his arms.

"I know, I'm just shocked by the fact that it is apparently so easy to get you into a dangerous situation, despite the guards that were there."

"Darling look at me," he says and frames your face in his hands,"I promised you she will not get to me, and she won't, okay?"

"Don't make promises you can't keep." you whisper softly.

Tom remains silent and lets go of your face, he shifts and furrows his brow.

"What do you want me to do? Don't sign autographs anymore? Just walk straight in and disappoint all those fans who sometimes spend hours in line for me?"

"Of course not, I just .."

"What, then, y/n?" he says, and suddenly you do not like the tone in his voice,"hire more guards? Body search my fans before they may approach me?"

Before you can say something Tom throws off the blanket and steps out of bed to walk to the window. He lays his arms over each other and peers outside. You sit upright and stare at him before you also get out of bed and walk towards him. You let your arms slip around his waist and you immediately feel his taking them.

"Please, I don't want to fight with you." you whisper against his skin.

"Me neither."

"I know and I know that most of your fans are lovely kind admirers."

"They are, this group was an exception. I owe everything to my fans, y/n."

"Including your own safety?" you whisper and kiss his shoulder.

"I promise you I will be more careful from now on, I will ask them to put down a double row of fences, more than that I can not do."

"I know. At least there were some fans who tried to help you."

"I know, I saw. Unfortunately, they could not save my coat, I loved that coat. "Tom mutters.

"I'll buy you a new one." you promise.

He turns in your arms and in one smooth motion he lifts your bridalstyle, you give a little scream and let yourself be carried to the bed where he suddenly drops you. You crawl under the blanket quickly and soon feels two arms that slip around your waist to draw you close to him.

The next day you wake up somewhere around eight-thirty, you cautiously wriggle out of Tom's arms to not to wake him and pull on a jeans and shirt. You walk quietly downstairs and when you open the door you see that Jason sits before the TV. He immediately looks up to see who is coming in, hoping for Tom, but when he sees you he looks quickly back to the TV.

"Good morning to you, too." you mumble.

"It is not personally." you hear Emma say from the breakfast table.

"I know, I'm just not as fun as Uncle Thomas." you laugh.

"You are up early." Dean observes.

"Oh, yesterday I slept so much, I'm wide awake."

"I wanted to give Levi a bath, you want to help?" Emma asks.

"Yes, of course." you say.

"I'm going to get the items ready, you eat and then come up." Emma says.

Dean also gets up and pulls Jason away from the TV to play with him. After breakfast, you walk up and hear Emma talking to against Levi in the bathroom. You open the door and see him sitting in the nude on the changing table while Emma holds him. When he sees you, he stretches his arm up and begins to laugh.

"At least there is someone who is happy to see me." you say.

You walk up to him and let one hand slide under his buttocks and the other you place in his neck while you pick him up. Emma steps aside so you can lower him in the bath and as soon as he touches the warm water his eyes drop and he becomes slack in your hands. You smile and gently caress his belly with your fingers. Emma sprays some soap in your hand while you wash his belly and his back Emma starts on his arms to then continues on with his legs. The last thing she cleans is his hair. Although Levi ia just a year old, he allready has quite a bunch of curly hair, reminding you of the younger version of Tom.

"You're a natural, y/n." Emma says.

After his bath Emma wraps him in a blanket and while you get his clothes and want to walk back you hold still outside your bedroom door. You look inside and see that Tom is still sleeping, half under the covers. You smile and walk inside to lay the blanket over him and when you want to walk away, he suddenly grabs your wrist and pulls you on the bed, before you can do anything he lies on top of you and kisses your neck fiercely.

"Tom ..." you groan.

You try to push him away but his tongue stroking over your shoulder and his fingers sliding down are to much of an distraction.

"Why are you dressed?" he asks and it sounds almost like a reproach.

"Because ..... I was awake."

"That, my darling, is no excuse."

When you hear Emma clear her throat you look up.

"He started it." you say quickly.

"I don't care who started it," she says, "but Levi needs his clothes."

"Clothes?" Tom says surprised.

"Yes these clothes." you say and hold his clothes up.

You give Tom a kiss and then stand up quickly, stepping out of his reach.

"Lost to a 1-year-old." he sighs.

You and Emma laugh and together walk to the bathroom to dress Levi. When your done, Emma let's you carry Levi downstairs and you carefully place him in his box while Emma get's his bottle ready. When you turn around you see a package standing on the couch.

"What's that?" you ask.

"I don't know, it has Tom's name on it."

"What has my name on it?" you hear him saying while he enters the room with a sweatpants that hugs his ass perfectly and a white shirt that clings to his muscles and for a moment all you can do is just stare at him.

"Your drooling." Emma whispers while taking Levi to give him his bottle.

"Oh, sorry." you say blushing.

Emma winks at you and sits down on the couch. Tom takes the package and holds it up.

"It's light." he says.

"Here."

Dean gives him a knife from the kitchen en Tom opens the package and then sets it down ont he table while he pushes the flaps away. 

"O dear, it's my coat!" he says, souding amazed.

"What?" you ask, not believing your ears.

"My coat!" he says.

He takes the coat and holds it up while looking over it to you and Emma, smiling widely but the smile disappears like snow before the sun when he sees you and Emma turning white in the face.

"What?" he asks,"is the back damaged?"

"Dean, take Jason upstairs."

Without waiting for an explenation Dean get's up and takes Jason's hand who starts to whine a little at the sudden treatment. When they are gone Tom turns the coat and he sees it too, on the back of the coat something is written in bright red letters.

_Have you seen it? How easy it was for me to get to Tom? Even with all his bodyguards, I can get to him, imagine that I had carried a knife with me, I could have seriously hurt him. But Tom is not my goal, he should not be harmed. I love him, I belong with him, and he with me. I want him to be happy with the woman of his life; me. See what happened yesterday evening as a preview, you are the main course._


	19. chapter 20

"Is that blood, Tom?" you ask.

"I don't know." he says.

You and Tom lock eyes and you feel tears in them, Tom quickly stuffs the coat back into the package and takes his phone out.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"I am calling the police." he says.

Ten minutes after the call the police is there, Emma informs Dean of what happened and he offers to take him to the zoo, realizing that the police men will probably make him upset. Emma is making thea and you and Tom are sitting on the couch, Tom's arm tightly around your shoulders and you let yourself be soothed by him. The policemen ask all sorts of questions after they have taken a look at the coat and confirm that the writing is, indeed, in blood. You shiver visibly and autimatically Tom's arm tightens around you and you lean against him a little more. The policemen tell you that they will post a car outside day and night and you already start to protest but Tom agrees with them and when they tell him they want to let an undercover policeman join Tom whenever he goes out, they don't want to scare his fans, it is his turn to protest, telling them he is not her target but seeing what happened they insist and so do you so he agrees. Before they leave, they tell you that they have assignedtwo agents to the case, Lucas and Milan, who will arrive just before four a clock to take you to the Donmar. They also tell you Tom's house has been investigated from attic to basement but that no traces where found and that if you want, it is inhabitable again. While Emma lets them out you breath out a shaky sigh. Tom pulls you towards him and pulls you on his lap, you straddle him and lay your arms around his neck while his hands slowly move over your back.

"It's okay, they will get her, I won't let her hurt you, darling." he whispers in your ear.

You nod and tighten your grip on him, you can not deny that it is all getting a little to close for comfort and your getting a little worried about her next move. All you suddenly want to do is go away, go somewhere with Tom, just the two of you and just get away. You don't care where.

"I'm, uh...going to go meet up with Dean and Jason." you hear Emma say.

You look up and see her standing with Levi all bundled up.

"No, no you don't have to go." you say.

"It's okay, really, just....just spent some time together okay?"

"Okay." you say.

When she leaves you lay your head on Tom's shoulder again and close your eyes, focussing completly on his hands that are still moving up and down your back and at the same time pull you against him. After some time you feel his bodyheat seeping through your clothes and you look at him.

"I'm coming with you." you suddenly say.

"What?"

"When your going to Toronto and she isn't caugt by then, I'm coming with you."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm not staying here while the only person who can make me feel safe is gone."

"Thank you."Tom says, relief sounding in his voice.

He smiles at you and nods, happy that it that case he doesn't have to leave you behind and worry for you. You wrap your arms around his neck again and he pulls you close while his hands roam over your back again. Although you are a little more at ease, Tom's sences your still tense and he kisses your neck.

"How about a nice warm bath?"

"That sounds lovely." you sigh.

 

Ten minutes later, you sit in a warm bath and Tom lets his fingers slowly slide across your body until all tension is gone and you push up against him. He pushes your hair aside and kisses your neck while his fingers concentrate on your thighs. You smile and spread your legs slightly as an invitation for him to continue. Tom feels the change in the water and slowly lets his hands go to your thighs, he places them on the inside and pushes your legs slightly further apart. His hands slide inward to your pleasure spot and they spread you open while he lets his index finger rotate around your clit. You moan and press your head back. His thumb replaces his forefinger and while he continues to touch your clit he slowly lets a finger disappear into you, you rais your hips and look down seeing a second finger slip inside your slit and you groan.

''You like to watch? To see how my fingers slip into you?'' it sounds sensual in your ear.

''Yes.'' You gasps.

Tom slips another finger inside you while the other goes up and fondles your breast. You tangle a hand in his hair and with the other you grab the edge of the tub. You create leverage so you can roll up your hips to feel him go deeper into you.

''Tom ...''

''That's it, you feel so good around me.'' He whispers sultry.

With every movement of his fingers deep inside you, he scrapes over your bundle of joy, and eventually your movements become so desperate that the water splashes over the edge.

''Are you close?''

''Yeah, so close.'' You gasp.

''You're so beautiful like this,'' Tom moves his fingers at a faster pace and runs his thumb over your nipple,''let it go, darling, cum for me.''

You cry out as you cum, hips rising up and back arching, Tom attaches his lips to your neck and he suddenly bites down hard, it just ensures that you's climax feels more intense and your hand clings to his hair and the other grabs the edge of the tub so tightly that your knuckles are almost white. Tom continues stroking you gently until you come back down on earth and then slowly lets his fingers slide out of you. You collapse against Tom's solid chest and take a few deep breaths.

After the water has turned cold he helps you up and pulls out the stop and a few seconds later you feel how he lays a big fluffy towel around your body and he takes you in his arms before he slowly begins to dry you. When he's done you wrap the towel around your body and he gives you a new one so you can dry your hair while he dries himself. When Tom is done he dresses himself and walks downstairs. When you're wearing your clothes also you walk downstairs too and into the room, he stands at the window looking outside and let your arms around slip his waist.

"Will you come with me today?" he asks.

"Yup." is your short answer.

Tom nods and then points to a dark car diagonally in front the house with two men in it.

"These are the men who keep watching us." he says.

"I hate that it has come this far."

"Me too, but it's better."

"I know."

 

When it's time to go you are being picked up by the two man and taken to the car that will drive you to the Donmar. At the last corner Tom gives you another kiss before he and one of the men, Lucas, get out and walk the last bit. The car is slowly moving again and when you pass by the fans you see that there indeed are two rows of fences and almost twice as much guards. You sigh and wait for the car to stop, your eyes go to the back entrance and you smile when you see that Hadley already comes running to you at a trot. He opens the door and reaches out his hand to help you get out, you look at him and see a worried look in his eyes. You give him a reassuring smile and turn your head to the entrance when you hear the fans screaming Tom's name. You glance sideways and see Tom walk the last few meters to the entrance and as if he feels you watching him he looks up and your eyes find each other. You know that Tom does his best to not let anything make his fans suspicious of what is happening, as if it is just a day like any other, but you know he is nervous and you smile at him. When he smiles back you see a kind of resignation in his eyes and then you allow yourself to be lead inside by Hadley. The agent follows you on foot and when you are inside your eyes go to the door through which Tom comes in when he's done with the fans. Suddenly you stand still and because Hadley still holds your hand, he also stops walking. Just when want to walk through the doors open and he comes in, followed by another agent. Without thinking, you get your hand out of Hadley's and walk towards him. As soon as he sees you there is a smile on his lips and his arms go around your waist to take hold of you firmly.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"Yes, I am now. Some fans even asked me the same thing." he smiles.

"Of course, they were also scared yesterday."

You let him go and look at him, you put your hand on his cheek and kiss his lips and when you break the kiss he chases after yours but you lay your finger on it.

"Come on, let's get you changed."

Tom nods and walks along with you to the stage, followed by the agents. When you reach his dressingr oom he opens the door to let you in and then he turns to the agents.

"Please, can you give us a moment alone?"

The agents look at him uncertainly and one wants to protest.

"I know you're just doing your job but really, she can not come in here with all those guards at the door and for the backdoor and emergency exits you need a key to get in." he explains.

The agents are still not convinced, then you take a step forward.

"I promise if there are any problems I will call for you right away."

The agents nods and take a step backward, Tom thanks him and closes the door behind him. While he is changing you sit quietly on the couch and observe him with your eyes. You notice in every movement that Tom makes how tense he is, how it affects him that someone is hunting you and he can't do anything about it except make you feel safe. You are thankful that the production only last for another seven days, it will soon be over. But that also means that Tom will have to leave to Toronto and although you'd love to join him you hate the fact that you let yourself be scared away by her, a disturbed stalker but you refuse to stay behind while the only person who can make it better is out of your reach. All those times Lisa had you scared Tom was the one that got you calm again, the only person who gave you the feeling of safety. You're so lost in thought that you only notice that Tom is sitting on his knees in front of you when he frames your face with his hands.

"We'll get through this, y/n, I promise you. As long as we have each other, it will be fine."

You nod and Tom pulls you up slowly before you walk back to the stage. Hadley has been declared fit again by the doctor, and tonight is the first time he's playing again and you go sitting on the desk flanked by the agents. You look at Tom who now is talking to Hadley and you're grateful he can practice with him again. The two have become very close and Hadley also ensures that Tom relaxes a little more and after a few minutes you can see the passion back into his play and you smile. During the play you sometimes turn to the agents and notice they follow they play with interest, making you smile.

"You know I never had the urge to read anything of Shakespeare because I've never understood any of it but the way Tom recite it, it actually makes sence." Lucas says, almost in wonder.

"Oh please don't tell him that, makes him glow in the dark." you say, rolling your eyes.

Lucas looks at you smiling before concentrating on the play again. Suddenly Milan stands up, getting your attention.

"I have to go." he says.

"What? Where?" Lucas asks.

"Just....I want to look at something, be right back."

Before you and Lucas can do something he is gone.

"What was that all about?" you ask.

"I don't know."

You don't think much about it and focus back on the play again. When the kissing scene comes up Lucas looks at you from the corner of his eyes and you chuckle, knowing what he thinks.

"I'm okay with it, now at least, he's an actor, kissing others is in his job description sometimes."

Not much later Milan comes back and you and Lucas look at him.

"I just thought that maybe the had a camera in the front but no such luck." he shrugs.

"Well it was worth the try." Lucas says.

The rest of the play you just sit silently watching and when the play is over you and Tom walk back into his dressing room, Lucas and Milan waiting outside. When you would normally shower together you decide it is better to just let Tom clean himself up seeing the agents are waiting for you. After that Tom hesitates what to do, go to his fans or just leave through the back door.

"Go to your fans." you say.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes, I know you want to, I will go home with Lucas, I will see you there."

You share one last kiss before he and Milan leave for the entrance and you and Lucas walk to the parking lot to go home. When the car with you and Lucas drives off the parking lot you glance sideways, seeing Tom talking and smiling with his fans, sighing their books and other things, making you smile too and you lean back against the seat.

 

The rest of the week it is remarkably quiet, but you know that you should not underestimate Lisa, it's like she first buries you under threats and then she stays quite for several days to lull you into a false sense of safety. Lucas and Milan are in also regularly invited inside that week to get some tea and you and Tom start to get along very well with them. After performing the play for the last time there is a farewell party at a restaurant nearby which was rented by Josie and everyone is really enjoying themselves. Even Lucas and Milan enjoys talking and laughing with the cast members and leave you and Tom alone sometimes, something you are grateful for and in those moments you steal kisses from each other. You stay sitting at the bar the whole night while Tom entertains himself on the dance floor with the other people. The only time you come off of your stool is when you have to go to the toilet. After you have taken leave at the end of the evening you leave and Luke and Milan park the car before the house while you and Tom go inside. As quietly as possible you try to reach the bedroom, which is not easy since the liquor has made Tom quite affectionate and you feel his hands all over your body. Eventually you tumble into bed laughing and the sex that follows is a bit clumsy and uncoordinated and once you almost fall off the bed making you both to have a fit of laughter. When both of you come to a climax you fall asleep right after, still entwined.

When you wake up it's a little after midnight and you sit upright, something you regret immediately; your head feels as if you've slammed it against the wall and you moan softly. Your hand goes to it, and to surprise it feels warm while simultaneously chills through your body, you lay the blanket away from you and put your feet on the ground, you notice that you have goose bumps over your body and shiver again. You swallow with difficulty and want to get up when you suddenly feel an arm move around your waist.

"Are you okay?" Tom asks.

"I do not know, I do not feel so good." you say.

"What's wrong?"

You feel how Tom sits upright, he kisses your shoulder and places his nose into your neck.

"I feel cold but my head hurts and is warm." you say.

"Are you getting sick?"

Tom puts his hand on your forehead and frowns.

"You're burning up." he says, concern in his voice.

He turns your face to him and see the concern in his eyes but you manage to smile.

Then your stomach growls and he raises an eyebrow.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"God no, the thought of food alone makes me sick. I'll be fine, I just need some sleep."

Tom helps you carefully back into bed and he turns your body to him so he can hold and you crawl close to him, seeking his body heat. After a few minutes, however, you turn away from him, too hot, you're hot but the contact with the cold undersheet lets you again shiver with cold. Tom does not trust it and gets up out of bed to walk to the bathroom, a little later he comes back with a temperature gauge and holds it before you, without hesitation you open your mouth and close it again. When a beep sounds, he takes it out and looks at the screen, then at you with concern agian.

"100F." he says.

"What?"

"That is not good, come on." he says.

Before you can do anything he liftst you up out of the bed and walks to the staitcase.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to the hospital."

"What? No, please, I just need some sleep, I'll be fine." you protest.

"I'm not taking any chances with you." he says.

He quickly walks to where Lucas and Milan are and lays you in the back, sliding in himself and placing your head on his lap.

"What's going on?" Lucas asks.

"Get us to the hospital, now!"

Without hesitation Luke drives away and he even uses his siren to ensure that you are faster, Lucas immediately jumps out of the car and open the door so that Tom can step out and he lifts you up again to bring you inside. There will be an immediate sister to tell right away that you've walked Tom 106f fever.

"Has she taken something?"

"No, not according to me."

The nurse looks at him questioningly and when Tom tells me that you had a party and you woke up like this she decides to empty your stomach pumping and she rides you to a separate room. Tom wants to walk in to but the nurse stops him.

"You can't stay with her." she says.

"I am not leaving her." he says with determination.

"I'm sorry, hospital policy." she says firmly and closes the door.

Tom takes a step back, looking through the windows but that is also short lived when the nurse closes the shutters. When he feels a hand on his shoulder he doesn't respond so the hand tugs a little to get his attention.

"What is happening?" on of the agents ask.

"They are going to, uh...empty her stomach, they think she used something."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" Tom says and turns around sharply,"how should I know? Where were you!"

"What?"

"You were supposed to protect her! You were supposed to make sure she was safe! You were supposed to make sure something like this wouldn't happen!"

"Now, listen, that's..."

"No, you listen to me...."

"Tom!" they suddenly hear and he turns to see Emma standing.

"Emma, what are you doing here?"

"I heard the commotion and saw you leaving with sirens so, I took a guess and came here." she walks up to him and looks at him, then to Lucas and Milan.

"Can you leave us, please?" she asks.

Lucas and Milan nod and walk away, leaving Tom and his sister alone.

"This is not there fault."she says.

"They were supposed to make sure she is okay."

"You were there too, remember, you couldn't prevent it either, this is just an accident, a horrible one but nontheless as accident. Who says Lisa has anything to do with this? It could have been a dirty glass or something she eat was addled. No one could have prevented this."

"I'm sorry." he suddenly says and slumps down in a chair.

"That's okay," Emma says and sits down next to him taking his hand,"let's just wait untill the doctor is done, she will be fine, she's strong."

Tom smiles and looks at his sister.

"Thank you, but you didn't need to come." he says.

"Of course I did, she's important to me too." she answers, squeezing his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, yeah, not really that happy with this one, I have been adding things only to delete them again and repeating the process so many times but I just couldn't find the right tone....I don't know.....I'm confused.....but here you are, please let me know what you think!


	20. chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, because you are all so amazing I decided to give you another chapter! But don't get used to two updates in one week ;)
> 
> Reviews make my day, my darlings!

When the door opens, Tom stands up and walks to the doctor.

"Fortunately she had not much in her stomach," he says and hold a jar up with a bit of liquid, "I will bring it to the lab for examination and then we will soon know what it was. You can go to her if you want. "

The doctor walks away and Tom walks inside. You lie on your side with your back to the door so you don't see him enter. Tom walks around the bed and when you see him you fist the sheet in your hand. He smiles softly at you and sits on the edge of the bed. His hand finds yours and your fingers intertwine with each other, with his other hand he cups your cheek.

"Are you okay?" he asks, still showing concern.

"I'm fine, only a little pain in my stomach." you reply.

"Can I do anything for you?" he asks.

"No, or well, it would be nice if you could come lie with me. Hold me?" you ask.

Tom smiles and then stands up to walk around to bed so you don't have to move, then he makes eyecontact with Emma who smiles and mouths to him she is going back home and Tom nods. He lies down on the blankets and his arm goes around your waist, placing his front as close to your back as he can. Your hands find each other and you lace them together and he moves them down so he can carres your stomach and he kisses your neck.

"Like this?" he whispers in your ear.

"Yes, just like this," you say, smiling content,"how is it you have this effect on me?"

"What effect would that be, darling?"

You turn around in his embrace and look at him and although he knows your okay you still see concern in his blue eyes.

"Taking my pain away, making everything better. making me feel safe no matter what happens."

"I don't know but I'm glad I have that effect on you, I want you to feel safe with me, and l want to be the one who takes away your pain and your fears." he says, cupping your cheek.

"Will you stay with me?" you ask.

"Of course, darling,"he says and he pulls you close, tucking your head under his chin and hand moving over your back,"try to get some sleep."

You wake up when someone softly whispers your name in your ear, you open your eyes and look at the most beautiful and brightest blue eyes you love so much. You reach your hand out to him but he pulls back and looks aside, you follow his line of sight and see the doctor standing.

"Doctor." you say and come up slowly.

"Madam l/n, we have the result of the examination, we know what has caused it."

Tom goes sitting next to you on the bed and takes your hand.

"Food Poisoning." he says.

"What?" your answers simultaneously.

"You ate something that was addled."

"That's all?" you ask.

"Yes and we also found traces of a virus in your system, in the very early stages, so that combined with the addled food caused the high fever and the shivering. I recommend that at least for the next few hours you only eat things that are easily digestible because your stomach is empty, but since there is no further damage, I will make the papers in order and when you signed them you can go home."

With those words the doctor says goodbye to you and the both of you sit like that for a moment but eventually you look at each other.

"So, Lisa had nothing to do with this then." Tom says.

"No, I guess not." you reply.

"Thank God."

Tom looks at you and pushes a lock of hair behind your ear before he leans towards you to give you a kiss.

"Ready to go home?"

"Yes please." reply.

Tom helps you out of bed and together you walk to the desk to sign your papers. When you walk out the hospital your glad the incident happened at night so that no media is there and you walk to the car where Lucas and Milan are waiting. The two look up at you, but remain with the car, the words spoken by Tom still in memory.

"Lucas, I am so sorry for what I said, I did not mean it." Tom says.

"I know you were just worried, I get it."

"What did you say?" you want to know.

"That's not important." Lucas says.

Tom and he exchange a look and Lucas nods at him.

"Get in the car, we will bring you home."

When you come home, everything is still dark and you walk into your bedroom to get some sleep. The next day you wake up alone and when you come down only Emma and Levi are there. Dean is at work and Jason at school, Tom is working on a commercial recording for Jaguar, where he has been asked for a few days ago, something that takes, with a bit of luck, two days. Then at the end of the week, he is expected on the set of Top Gear for recording of one day. The day after is his birthday surprise and you're wondering how Tom will react when he sees his two best friends and you remind yourself that you still have to call Morgan for the menu. Milan and Lucas stay with you until you are on the plane to Toronto and you ask yourself whether you should invite them too but you decide against it. It needs to be a quiet evening among friends. During one of those days you look around on the internet whether you can find a nice home for you but you have no idea what you want and you huff while placing the paltop on the table.

"Whats wrong?" Emma asks.

"Tom asked me to search for a new home but I have no idea what I should be looking at."

"What do you want?"

"I don't know, Emma, really."

"Well, you want a detached house? Big kitchen? Big living room? Fire place? How many bedrooms? Do you want bedrooms with an bathroom attached to them? Do you want a big garden? Somewhere in the city or outside?"

"God that are a lot of questions." you sigh.

Emma laughs and refills your glas with tea.

"Let's see, the kitchin in Tom's old house was beautiful so I guess that has to be there, fire place would be nice, garden also for the summers."

"Well, there you go," Emma says smiling,"and what about the bedrooms? How many?"

"I don't know, three I guess?"

"Three? Are you sure?" Emma asks raising her eyebrows.

"Not enough?"

"Nah, I don't think Tom wil settle for just two kids with you, he wants at least four. And you should have a guestroom for when Mum has to babysit her grandkids when you and Tom wil be out for some premiere."

"Okay, I get it," you say laughing,"four bedrooms, if we get more then three kids they can share, a bathroom for Tom and me, and one for the kids and I will just search for a house with a huge attic to turn into a bedroom."

"And make Mum walk two stairs after your kids exhausted her?"

"Yeah your right, maybe I can find something with a guesthouse?"

"That sounds perfect."

"Thanks Emma." you say.

"Anytime, dear."

When Tom comes home after shooting for Jaguar the first day he has a huge grin on his face.

"What are you so happy about?" you ask.

"About this." he says.

He holds up car keys and your eyes become wide when you see that the keys of a Jaguar.

"Wow, they allowed you it to take home?"

"Yes, and I can keep it!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

Tom goes sitting next to you with a face showing the joy that makes you think of a child on Christmas morning.

"They gave one to Mark and Ben too."

"God, they are just giving Jaguars away?" you say onbelievable.

"Yeah well, Jaguar is doing very well for themselves so they can afford it. Want to go for a ride after dinner?"

"Sure."

Then you look at him and bite your on your lip.

"What?"

"I was thinking to go back to the old house one last time."

"Why?"

"To see if there are things that I want, photographs, awards you've won, you might want to still keep some fan mail, drawings or other things."

"Hm, you want to go after dinner?"

"Yes, I would."

"Okay." he says.

Then he pulls you towards him to kiss you deeply and for a moment you forget you are not alone when suddenly a piece of Duplo smacks Tom right in the face. Both of you look sideways to see Jason standing, looking at you with big eyes.

"Someone's jealous." you say.

Tom smiles and slides of the couch to play with his nephew untill Emma calls you for dinner. After dinner you and Tom say goodbuy to Emma and Dean and together with Lucas you drive to the old house. But not after Lucas and Milan had a serious game of paper scissors rock, seeing both of them didn't wanted to let the opportunity pass them by to sit in a Jaguar. Eventually Lucas won and so he was the lucky one to sit in the back, but still happy. When you arrive the men step out but you stay in the car, not because you want Tom to open the door for you, but because the house has a nasty look through the yellow tape that obstructs access to the house. When Tom takes your hand you look at him.

"It's okay, you do not have to do this, we can go home." he suggests.

"No, but just.... just stay with me okay?"

"Of course." he says, smiling at you.

Together you walk hand in hand to the house, Lucas hold the tape up and when you walk on the driveway it slowly starts to rain, and in the distance you can hear the roar of thunder coming to make it a little more scary. Once inside you walk through to the living room, it's exactly the same as the day you left the house, and when Tom gives a tug on your hand, you look up.

"Where do you want to start?" he asks.

"In the living room, from there we work our way through the house."

Tom nods and together you begin searching the living for items that you want to take with you. After an hour you've found a nice collection of photos of you and Tom together, during premieres, dinners, parties and other occasions and of you with other and of Tom with others. Tom has mainly gathered prizes and some CDs and DVDs. Eventually, you have two trash bags full and you are back in the living room. The storm has increased, rain pouring down and every few minutes a blinding flash of light illuminating the sky followed by a thunderclap is heard.

"Why don't you stay here while Lucas and I will bring the things to the car, then I will come back with a umbrella." Tom says.

"Sure."

He kisses you before he and Lucas turn to leave and when they are out of sight you walk to the glass doors and lay your hands on them, looking up at the sky. When there is a flash of light you suddenly think you see something in the corner of your eye and your eyes go to the garden. Your gaze remains fixed on the spot and when the next flash of light comes you can clearly see the silhoutte of someone standing there. Your breath get's caught in your throat and you look back to see if Tom is coming back yet but when you see nothing you close your eyes and will yourself to calm down.

"Come on, y/n, it wasn't real, just your imagination that is playing tricks on you."

Slowly you open your eyes again and look outside just when another flash of light brights the sky and what you see makes you take a step back. There she is again, in a dark raincoat, hood over her head and head down but her eyes, her eyes look at you and they almost burn through you. Then suddenly she jumps forward and slams her hand flat against the window making you scream and step back in fright. Then suddenly some one spins you around and you find two blue eyes looking at you in alarm.

"What wrong?" he asks.

"She's here."

"Lisa?"

"Outside..." you say.

"Darling she is not outside, your..."

"I am not imaginating this, Tom, she's there! I saw her!" you yell, almost in tears now and even tembling.

"Okay, okay, calm down."

Tom looks up and walks towards the glass doors but you grab his arm.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"I'm just..."

"No, your not going outside, please, don't go outside, stay with me, stay here." you say almost pleading.

"Okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm right here, I've got you, darling, I'm not going anywhere and I won't let her hurt you."

He takes you in his arms and tries his best to calm you and to stop the trembling, rubbing circles over your back and whispering soothing words in your ear. You bury your head in his chest and fist his shirt in your hands. In the mean time Lucas has walked outside and when he comes back inside Tom looks at him.

"She's gone but she left this." he says.

He gives Tom the note and reads it, then he looks at you, still slightly trembling in his arms.

"What does it say?" you ask.

Tom holds the note up for you to read.

_Keep looking over your shoulder, there is nowhere in the world where you can go where I will not find you, no place where you can hide, I will always find you and I will not stop untill I have what is rightfully mine, you know what I am talking about, or excually I should say who._

You close your eyes and shake your head, willing the tears away that threaten to fall. You hate the fact that she can turn you into a shivering mess with just some words and you feel Tom pulling you close again. 

"Come on, let's go home." he says and you nod.

Tom allows Lucas to drive home because you refuse to let go of Tom, something he does not really seem to mind because as soon as you sit in the backseat of the Jaguar he pulls you against him protectively. His arms hold you tightly in a cocoon of safety and you slowly calm down and the trembling stops. When you arrive at the house Tom wants you to remain in the car so he can open the door, making sure that you can run inside but you shake your head and clamp his hand more tightly.Tom smiles and kisses your head before he looks at Lucas.

"Do you want to open the door for us?" he asks and gives him his keys.

Lucas nods and gets out before he runs to the door and opens it, he sticks his thumb up and together with Tom you run inside. When the door is closed you look at each other and suddenly you burst out laughing. You are soaked from the rain and your clothes stick to your bodies just like your hair.

"You look ridiculous." you laugh.

"Your one to talk." Tom replies.

"Oh were making Emma's hallway all wet."

"Yes, and you are not coming into my living room like that." she says suddenly.

You look up and see that she has crossed her arms across her chest, her eyes are stern but when she makes eyecontact with you her look turns soft.

"Are you okay? Lucas has told what happened."

"Yes, I'm fine, glad Tom was with me."

Emma smiles and looks at her brother, then back to you.

"Go upstairs, get those clothes off and throw them in the dryer, then take a shower. And be quite, the boys are sleeping.." she says.

You nod at the same time and laughing Emma walks the living room again. Tom suddenly lifts you up in a smooth motion and you place your arms around his neck while he walks up the stairs.

"Did your sister just say that we had to take a shower?" you ask and kiss his neck.

"Yes, and that seems like a great idea."

Silently Tom walks upstairs with you in his arms and sets you down in the bathroom. You pull off your wet clothes and you put a towel around your body to bring them to the dryer. When you come back there hangs a hint of steam in the bathroom and just when you have loosened the towel you feel a hand grab yours and you are pulled into the shower. You are immediately drawn into a hug and your arms go around his neck. You let the hot beam spray over your bodies and the warmth slowly seeps into your body.

"You can take my sister for a fool but not me."

"What do you mean?"

"I know how scared you were, you still are. She crawled under your skin. Is in your head. I know you're worried."

You look up and find blue eyes that look at you lovingly, he frames your face with his hands and leans forward to kiss you. The kiss is slow and deep and when you break it you take a deep breath.

"But you don't have too," his lips gently kiss your neck and move further down and his tongue licks over your collarbone,

"You're safe with me, I will never allow her to hurt you," he pushes you against the wall and lifts your leg to lay around his hip,

"I've never been someone who uses violence, but to keep you safe...,"

You feel him slowly and deeply slide inside and you place your head against the tiles. His lips find your neck again and kissing, licking and biting he moves over your skin. 

"To protect you I will fight like a lion, you know this, chérie,"

Your hands disappear in his wet hair and give it a gentle tug, making him moan. His lips slide to your ear and he bites into your earlobe.

"I would kill for you, darling ..."

he rolls his hips forward and his hands squeeze into your buttocks, he put his hands against the wall next to your head and his thrusts are harder and deeper and scrape over your deepest pleasure spotbevery time.

"Je t'aime beaucoup," 

You feel your climax approaching fast, not only because of his thrust but also because of his words and their meaning. You know he is right, that he would do anything to protect you.

"Tom..."

"Sshh...it's okay, I have you....I will always have you....tu es mon coeur et mon âme, the air I need to breathe, the oxygen I need to live..."

You start moving in the same rhythm, laying your head against the wall, bearing your neck to him. His lips kiss your neck and his hand wanders up, cupping your breast and kneeding it.

"Tell me you love me like you have no other, tell me you need me like you never needed anyone before...." he whispers hoarsly in your ear.

Your mouth opens to answer him but suddenly the thrust become harder and deeper, morfing the words into a long groan and you close your eyes and when his hand leaves your breast to move to your clit one flick of his finger is enough to sent you over the edge. Your muscles contract around him, milking his manhood and he bites your shoulder when he comes. For a moment you stand like that, wrapped in each other's embrace. When you raise your head to kiss his forehead he licks the marks he left on your shoulder. You tug his hair so you can look at him and when your eyes find each other you smile.

"You will never know how much I love you and how much I need you in my life,"you say,"for all the words in the world could not describe it."

You lay your foreheads against each other and after some minutes he let's you go and you both towel off and get dressed to walk downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> Je t'aime beaucoup->I love you very much
> 
> Tu es mon coeur et mon âme;your my heart and soul


	21. chapter 22

Dean and Emma are sitting on the couch watching television and Lucas and Milan are sitting at the breakfast table looking at some papers. It attracts your attention and you walk over to them to look over Lucas' shoulder.

"You found her?" you ask.

"Yeah, the blood on Tom's coat had a fingerprint in it, believe it or not. Our colleagues dropped it off when we were gone."

You pick up a picture of her, she has a friendly face and long red hair, dark brown eyes. If you wouldn't know any better she looks like someone who could have easily been your friend. Tom comes standing behind you and looks at the picture.

"I've never seen her before." he says.

"Well, she has a history of numerous charges against herself for stalking celebrities but she was never indicted."

"How can that be?"

"Because the celebrities did not wanted any trial, probably found it too much trouble," he turns around in his chair and looks at Tom, "I advise you to already make a statement, due to destruction of property. Given the fact that you are flying to Toronto in two days we do not have to wait if we arrest her and we can get started questioning her right away."

"Wait, only to destruction of property? Not for stalking?"

"No, we can not associate her with that, not even for breaking in and destroying Tom's house. That she will have to confess herself."

"How big is that chance?"

"I can not say now but if she does not confess, there is not much we can do." Lucas says regretfully.

"Meaning she walks." you say.

"I'm sorry, y/n, the law states that we can only do something if she hurts you physically."

"Well, that sucks." you say, making Lucas smile.

"I know, it does."

"In two days time we will be gone, on our way to Toronto, away from her, you will be safe there." Tom reminds you.

"We will continue to look for her and we will not stop untill we find her while you are gone," Lucas says and on a whim he takes your hand in his,"every policeman has her picture, we will find her, I promise."

"I know."

The rest of the evening you busy yourself with Emma's help to organize the pictures you took from the house and you complete your scrapbook of Tom with them. When it is full you take the others and tuck them behind the cover. Tom is sitting with Lucas and Milan, writing his statement with their help and when he is done Lucas slips it inside her file. Afther the men said their goodbye to go to the car for the night with a thermo full of tea you and Tom go to sleep.

In the middle of the night you wake up and you notice that Tom is not beside you, you get up and look around, the light in the bathroom is out and you slowly get out of bed, you walk down the hallway and see a faint light come from underneath the door of Levi's bedroom. You walk towards it and cautiously open the door, you peek inside around the door, and what you see makes your knees go weak. Tom sits in the rocking chair with Levi tightly against his chest, arm around his back to keep him in place and other arm hangs at his side. His head lies back against the backrest and when you come closer you see that his eyes are closed and his even breathing tells you he sleeps. You smile and look at Levi, who, unlike his uncle, is wide awake, his little hands are pressed against Tom's chest and his head turns in you direction. When he sees you, he starts making cooing noises in his throat and you smile.

"Shhh," you say, "you would not want to wake your uncle now, would you?"

You sit on your knees next to the rocking chair and your finger slides over his cheek, Levi leans against touch and with his hand he tries to grab your finger but Tom's arm is too tight around him. You let your eyes move over the two and you have to admit that the sight of Tom with a little one in his arms is quite sexy and you take his hand to give a kiss on it.

"Tom?" you say softly.

Tom stirs and tightens his grip on Levi but does not wake up, you come up and kiss his lips volatile.

"Honey .."

Tom opens his eyes and sighs deeply.

"Hey," he says, he licks his lips and arches his back and you hear the bones crack. A little dazed he looks around, realizing he is in his nephews room he looks at you again,

"How long have you been here?" you ask.

"I do not know, I woke up and wanted to drink something downstairs, when I walked past Levi's room I heard him cry so I walked in. When he saw me he stopped and I wanted to walk away again but as soon as I turned he started crying again so I picked him up with the intention to rock him to sleep."he explains.

"Something you clearly did not succeed in, the only one you've rocked asleep is yourself." you chuckle.

Tom laughs too but the laugh changes into a yawn and he tries to get up but Levi begins to squirm in his arms and he looks at you.

"A little help would be nice." he says.

You laugh and take your nephew from Tom, you carefully lay him in his crib and pull the blanket over him, you put your hands on the edge and look at Levi, he looks up at you with his big blue eyes that look at you inquisitively.

"Funny actually, how your sister's kids can inherit your genes." you say, referring to his blue eyes and his brother's curls.

You feel his arms snake around your waist and Tom draws you against his front, his fingers slip under your shirt and they caress your stomach.

"I want one."

"What?"

"A child, let's make a baby." he says and kisses your neck.

"How do you know I'm not pregnant already? We are not using contraceptives."

"I just want you to know that I'm ready to be a father."

"I know," you turn around in his arms and put them around his neck, "and I can not wait to become the mother of your children."

You look at Levi again, who now is sleeping peacefully and Tom leans over the bed to turn off the light, and together you walk back to the bedroom.

The next day is the last that Tom has recordings on the set of Top Gear and while Emma is doing the housework and Levi is sleeping in his box you are looking for a home for you and Tom. You've already seen countless ones but each house lacks something. When you want to give up you suddenly come across a house in a new neighborhood, and when you see the inside on the photos you get up a little. Via the entrance steps you come through the front door stepping into a large hallway with a staircases to your right and left and two arches that lead to two separates rooms. Both rooms have large windows right and left, between the windows is a large sliding door to the terrace. One oft he rooms have a door that leads to a spacious bathroom with a bath, shower and toilet. When you step into the hallway again you walk through one of the arches that leads to a spacious elongated kitchen with adjoining dining room and the other arch leads to another spacious room. The upper floor has four bedrooms and two bathrooms in a long row and a long round overflow which is open in the middle so you can see the hallway downstairs. Behind the bedroom is a large balcony that extends along the entire length of the house with separations for each bedroom. The garden is just as beautiful with a terrace which is parallel to the house, to the right is a porch swing and brazier and left there is a lounge set, via a small staircase you come into a spacious garden with swimming pool and lawn and when your see a house in one of the corners you laugh.

"What's so funny?" you hear Emma say.

"This house, it's perfect." you say.

You put the laptop on the table and let Emma watch, she navigates through the photos and then leans back.

"Yes indeed, very beautiful," she says, "do you want to go there?"

"Yes, but I really want Tom to be there too." you say.

"That I understand, why do not you send him a message? Maybe he can come home a little earlier?" she suggests.

"Great idea."

You pick up your mobile and send him a message.

I have found the perfect home for us :D xx, y/n

Really? Why don't you make an appointment at the end of the afternoon, then, I'll make sure I'm there <3

You smile and call the agency, you can make an appointment for half past four and you let Tom know, he promises that he will meet you there. Since you are not very well known in London you let Lucas drive and when he enters a fancy neighborhood you wonder whether he took a wrong tuwn and you look at Lucas. He smiles and points ahead of you.

"That is the house." he says.

Your eyes go to the house and your mouth drops open, you do not have seen pictures of the front of the house and now you see that there is an iron gate before the house with a driveway that makes a u-turn in front of the house and in the middle of the u-turn is a large pond.

"You have taste, y/n." Lucas compliments you.

"Thank you." you reply.

Lucas parks the car before the house and gets out to walk around the car and to open the door for you, he reaches out his hand and you take it to get out, when you thank him, he smiles at you and you walk towards the gate. When your mobile goes you pick it from your bag and you see that you have a message from Tom.

I'm running a little late, I'll be there as soon as I can, darling. xx Tom

You sigh and see from your corner of your eye that Lucas stands to your left.

"What is up?" he asks.

"Tom is a little later." you reply.

Suddenly, the gate opens and you shy away a little, in a reflex you grab Lucas' hand and he looks at you.

"It's okay, it's just the gate." he says, squeezing your hand.

"Oh, yeah, sorry." you say and blush.

"Does not matter." he says.

"Mrs. L/N?" you hear someone say and you look up.

A man in a grey suit walks over the driveway to you and Lucas, large smile on his face. When he extends his hand to you you shake it and he introduces himself.

"Welcome, my name is Danny." he says.

"I am y/n, and this is Lucas."

Lucas gives the man a small nod and he extends his hand to the house.

"Please, come inside."

You walk to the house while the broker stays outside to give you some time and you step inside to walk to the living room. All the furniture is gone making the place look even larger then on the photo's and together you wander through the house. The kitchen, the dining room, the terras, then upstairs and some of the bedrooms. The bathrooms are very spacious and when you stand on the long round overflow and want to take the railing with your hands you notice that you are still holding Lucas hand in yours and you look at them. You look up to apoligize to him and when you look into his eyes you realize that they are the same blue as Tom's and for a moment you don't know what to say.

"Are you okay?" he asks and looks at you worried.

"Yes fine." you whisper.

He reaches his other hand out to you but you stumble back, making your hand slip from his and he opens his mouth to say something but some one else speaks first.

"Y/N?"

"Tom?" you say.

You look down and see Tom standing on the platform by the door. You look at Lucas one more time before you run down the stairs and Tom hugs you against him.

"I am so sorry I'm late." he says.

"That's okay," you answer.

He kisses your forehead and takes your hand to walk into the living room. He looks around and then walks to the glas sliding door, looking outside.

"You like it?" he asks.

"I love it." you answer.

He looks out over the garden and sees the cottage standing and nods towards it.

"Useful for when we ever get into a fight." he says.

"Hey, do not say that," you say, and give him a nudge, "and actually it is a kind of small house I have seen in pictures that it even has a small stove and a shower and toilet."

"Really?"

"Yes, and Emma said something else," you look at him and he raises his eyebrow, "when your mother comes to babysit our future kids and we come home late, she can sleep there."

"That's a good idea," he puts his arms around you and looks at you, "and how many bedrooms can we fill with those future children?"

"Three."

"Hm....,I can't wait untill you are pregnant,"he hums and turns you around so he can place his arms around you and they slip under your shirt to carres your skin,"just the thought of you with a nice round belly, knowing my child is growing inside you, our child, something we made together. That thought just fills me with so much joy, darling."

"A little boy or girl with blue eyes and blond curls."

"Or with e/c eyes and h/c hair. All is fine with me."

Then someone clears his throat and you look sideways to see Danny standing.

"It's sold, I will pay whatever the price is."

"Whoah, you haven't even seen it yet," you suddenly say, turning around and looking at him,"and shouldn't you at least try to lower the price a bit?"

"Normally I would, but I can see you have already fallen for this house and only the best is good enough for you, darling."

He leans in to kiss you on the lips and then looks at Danny again.

"Can you make the papers ready for tomorrow? We are leaving in two days and I want to make it official before that."

"Of course. Here,"he says and hands Tom a folder,"the pictures of the house."

Tom leads you outside and on the way you pass Lucas, he is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest and your eyes meet. It then hits you how much he looks like Tom, not only his eyes but his whole posture and you wonder why you have never noticed that before. Halfway to the road your eyes fall on his black Jaguar parked in front of Lucas' car and you smile.

"I still can't believe they gave you a freaking Jaguar." you smile.

Tom laugh and opens the door for you to get in and when you sit he leans down and turns your face to his.

"Like I said; only the best is good enough."

He leans forward to kiss you and after he closes the door and gets in himself. When you buckle up you look at your future house again, the house where you and Tom are going to live and raise your own family and you are happier then you have ever been.

Once back home Emma awaits you with an expectant look in her eyes when you walk into the room.

"And?" she asks.

"Oh, it's perfect," Tom says, "I asked if the broker could make the papers in order before we leave to make sure it's ours before that."

Emma laughs and gives you a hug. Then you go to the table to eat and after eating you and Tom decide to go to his mother to tell her about the house and that you will be leaving soon. Although Tom tells Lucas that it really is not necessary to go with you and that his mother still does not know anything, he does not want to worry her unnecessarily but Lucas insists and eventually Tom gives in, and the three of you drive to Diana's house. When she opens the door and sees you standing there appears a smile on her face but she frowns her eyebrows when she sees Lucas.

"We explain it inside." Tom says.

You walk in and sit down on the couch with Tom next to you and Diana opposite you. Lucas walks to the window and looks outside and your eyes go to him. He stands with his side facing you and when you see his profile it is as if you see Tom standing. Then Tom grabs your hand and you look at him, he looks at his mother and you do the same.

"Y/N has a stalker," he begins, "someone, Lisa, writes her notes to scare her, to convince her of the fact that she is not good enough for me. And that the only one who belongs with me is she herself. There have been a number of incidents, a few weeks ago she broke into our house, we were not at home but she has destroyed everything. We now stay with Emma and Dean. Lucas is here to ensure that nothing happens to y/n. And since the incident at the Donmar, I also always have someone with me."

"God, I'm sorry to hear that." Diana say shocked.

She looks at you with compassion and you smile at her.

"Well, I will make some tea for you, excuse me." she says.

"I'll help you." you say and stand up but Tom does the same and stops you.

"No, stay here, please, I will help her." he smiles at you before he leaves to help his mother.

You sit back down again, watching Tom disappear into the kitchen and start to browse through the folder with the pictures of the house. You smile and can't wait to start searching for furniture to buy for it to make it a home. You feel how Lucas sits down next to you and leans towards you to look at the pictures too.

"It really is a beautiful home," he says and he takes a picture of the living room,"I'm sure you and Tom will be happy there."

"Thank you." you whisper.

You place the pictures back in the folder and when Lucas hands you the picture he is holding your fingers brush and you can't supress a light shiver to run up your spine. Considering all the time you spent together you wonder why now he all of a sudden has this effect on you and why you now suddenly realize how much he reminds you of Tom. You look up at him, finding two eyes looking at you hesitantly as if he wants to say something but he decides against it and swallows, turning away from you. When Tom and his mother come waling back Lucas stands up to let Tom sit next to again and he sits in the chair. 

"What's that?" Diana asks, looking at the folder.

"This, is our new house." Tom announces.

"You bought a house? Let me see." she says excited.

You smile and while Tom hands her the pictures and tells her how beautiful the house is you sometimes feel Lucas watching you, after some time you slide forward and place one of your hands on Tom's back and the other you place over his leg, he hardly notices it, to busy with telling his mother about the gorgeous house you found them. Tom also tells her about his new film and that you will be leaving in two days time, making his mother look sad.

"Don't worry, I will call you every day."

"Oh you don't have to do that, I know how busy you are while filming and y/n will be with you too, just call whenever you want too, it's okay. You just enjoy making your film and each other. Oh, now that I think about it, I have some magazines about furnishings upstairs, let me see if I can find them. Tom dear, can you help me? They may be somewhere in the closet in the back."

"Yes of course."

Before you can do anything he gives you a kiss and stands up to walk to the stairs after his mother, leaving you alone with Lucas again. You lean back in the couch and frown your eyebrows.

"What is it?" Lucas asks, sliding forward untill he is sitting on the edge of the chair.

"I don't know, I have the feeling I am missing something." you say.

"Like what?"

"Like,.....like there is something going on between Tom and Diana I don't know about."

"Like a secret?" Lucas whispers mysteriously.

You laugh and look at him, making him laugh too.

"I don't know, maybe I am just being paranoid after all that happened with Lisa." you sigh.

"I meant what I said,"he says, serious again,"I will not stop searching for her after you and Tom are gone, I will find her."

"Don't you mean you and Milan?" you ask.

"What? Oh, yes of course, me and Milan." he says, nodding his head.


	22. chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is a little shorter then you are used to but chapters on wednesday are a bonus so.....and I wanted to stop at e certain point ;)

When Tom walks into the room again with his mother you look at him, frowning, and he does not miss it so when he sits down next to you, he looks at you.

"What?"

"Is there something I should know?" you ask.

"Like what?"

"I do not know," you say with a shrug, "I have the feeling that you are hiding something from me."

"What makes you say that, darling."

He leans towards you to give you a kiss and then points to the magazines on the table.

"Those you can bring to Toronto with you, you can see is there is anything you want to buy for our new house while I am filming."

"Oh, thank you Diana." you say thankfully.

Diana grabs a bag where you can put them in, and when she says farewell to you at the end of the evening you promise you will do your best to come over before you leave. When you are in front of Emma's house the door on your side opens and you want to step out, automatically taking the hand that reaches for you and when you take it you notice it belongs to Lucas. You eyes flicker up to his and you see a faint smile on his lips and for a brief moment you think he winks at you, making you blush a little. You wait untill Tom is out to and yo lace your fingers together and while you walk towards the door you feel his eyes on you and you have to make an effort not to look back at him. When you step inside Emma's house the living room door suddenly flies open and a little boy in pajamas wobbles towards Tom. You can just step aside in time and his arms immediately find their way around Tom's leg.

"Hey little man, why are you still up?"

"Well, everything went fine, he brushed his teeth, pajamas on, read him a bedtime story while he lay in bed and then suddenly he insisted to be read to by you. He just refused to go to sleep." Emma says, spreading her arms.

"Is that true?" Tom asks Jason.

He has lifted the little boy up and his head is lying on Tom's shoulder, eyes already dropping. Tom gives him a soft kiss on his forehead and although he finds it bad for his sister you see that he feels flattered by the behavior of his nephew.

"Well, a bedtime story it is then." Tom says, hoisting the kid a little further up his hip.

He kisses you and Emma before he walks upstairs and Emma turns to you.

"You might consider telling him that you and Tom will be leaving soon." Emma says.

"I know, and seeing how close they became it will not be easy."

"Hm, no it won't," Emma says,"I'm going to bed."

You walk up the stairs and you smile when you hear Tom's voice reading to Jason.

"Goodnight." Emma says and looks at you.

Just when she wants to walk to her bedroom you take her arm and stop her, making her look at you. Before you say someting you listen again for Tom's voice and then you pull her into your bedroom just in case.

"What's going on?" she asks.

"I'm late." you almost whisper.

"Late? Late for wh...... _oh_ ,"she says,"how long?"

"A week."

"And you think your pregnant?"

"I know I am, I'm never late, my cyclus is so consistent that it is almost ridiculous."

"Oh my god." Emma exclaims and you lay your hand on her mouth.

"Shh, Tom can not know." you whisper.

"Why not?"

"Because.....I want to know for sure."

"Okay, you have to do a test then."

"I know but I am not allowed to go anywhere alone to buy one, remember?"

"You don't have too, I still have some in our bathroom."

"You do?" 

"Yes, I will get them for you."

"No, please, I....." your eyes go to Jason's door and then back to Emma,"I'm not sure....."

You fidget a little with your hands, turning away from Emma.

"What?" she asks and you hear her walking towards you.

"I don't know if I want Tom there." you whisper.

"What? Why not?"

"Because......if he is and I turn out not to be pregnant, I do not want to see the disappointment in his eyes."

"Oh honey, he could never be disappointed in you."

"I know but .... if I turn out not to be pregnant ....." you turn around and look at Emma, "I do not want to give him valse hope."

"Okay, it's your choice." Emma says.

"Thank you."

"They are in our bathroom, I will grab them for you then you can do a test whenever you want."

Emma runs into the bathroom and comes back a moment later with two pregnancy tests and she gives them to you. Then she leaves you alone and you walk into your bedroom and into the bathroom to place the tests in a drawer and when they are stowed away you change into your nightshirt. After you have placed a rubber band around your hair to hold it together you change into your nightshirt and brush your teeth. When you wipe your mouth you look outside and your eyes fall on the car with Lucas and Milan in it. You don't see Milan but Lucas is standing outside leaning against it, ankles locked, smoking a sigarette and you look at him. He then throws the sigarette away and blows out the smoke, before he steps into the car he looks up and your eyes meet, he smiles and salutes you and before you know it you find yourself smiling back at him. You almost jump when you feel two arms sliding around you and lips that kiss your neck.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." he mumbles against your skin.

"That's okay," you say,"Jason asleep?"

"Hm....he was even before I had read the first page to him." he chuckles.

"And still you read the whole book to him?"

"I did." he says and you feel his smile against your skin.

"Why?"

"Because it was nice to read to him, it felt good, I felt sorry for Em that he was refusing to go to sleep but I also felt a little proud of it, and wanted."

"You don't feel wanted when I'm around?" you say, feigning hurt.

"Of course I do," he says,"but it's a different way of feeling wanted."

He slowly turns you in his arms and lifts you up to walk to the bed with you, for a moment he sets you down to lay the blankets back and you crawl in followed by him and his arms go around your waist to draw you close but you place your hands on his chest and push him back.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

But you are already on him, your knees on either side of his hips and your hands on his shoulders and you push him back, your hands find his, and you put them next to his head while your lips kiss a way to his ear and you softly bite in his earlobe.

"Making you feel how much you are wanted by me." you whisper in his ear.

Tom smiles and you tell him to keep his hands there until you say he may touch you and he clenches them immediately into fists. Your lips wander down his neck, shoulder, collarbone and you focus on a nipple, licking, biting and sucking while you attack the other nipple with your fingers, pinching, caressing. You feel Tom tensing under your touch and you smiles against his skin. 

"Just relax, baby, I will take very good care of you."

While you kiss his muscled stomach he stretches his body beneath you, you feel him relax and when he closes his eyes your hands wander further down. You move your body further down and when you sit on his hips you roll yours back and forth, making a low moan to slip from Tom's lips, you smile when you feel that he is already semi-hard. Then you slide down further and you place yourself between his legs, you hook your fingers into the waistband of his boxer and agonizingly slow drag it downwards, kissing and licking any piece of skin that appears. You can hear his breathing get heavier when you take off his boxer and his dick pops up and comes to rest against his stomach. Quickly you pull his boxer from him and you place youself between his legs, your hands leave him briefly and his eyes open and look at you. You place your knees slightly apart and sit up, you go hands to the hem of your nightshirt and you pull it up slowly, making sure to strecht yourself a little for him before you throw it on the ground and you smile when you hear a strangled moan coming from his throat. Your eyes find Tom's, who's eyes roam over your body admiringly and he licks his lips.

"Can I touch you?" he asks breathlessly.

"No, not yet, handsome." you purr.

You place your hands next to his hips and you lean forward to make a slow stripe along the bottom of the shaft, and when you reach the tip you lick the frenulum before your lips close around his tip and your tongue slips through his slit. Tom raises his hips off the bed and from the corner of your eye you see his hands are curled around the bars of the bed to suppress the urge to touch you. You smile around him and let your lips sink further down around him, one of your hands takes his shaft loosely and you massage him slowly while your tongue revolves around his tip and then slips through his slit again.

"Oh, fuck, y/n.... _God_...please, I want to touch you, j'ai besoin de te toucher, chérie...." he gasps above you.

You ignore his words and repeat the motion making his hips come off the bed again, back arching and head pressed into the pillow. Your free hand finds its way to his balls and you massage them gently with your fingers while your lips and tongue fully concentrate on his tip. Your hand leaves his balls and roams further down and when you fleetingly move your finger over his perineum you feel him tighten under you.

" _Oh god_ I'm going to come ..... _fuck..._ " he whines.

You let his dick slip out of your mouth and presses his perineum, your eyes go up over his body and you find deep blue ones who look at you full of lust, one last push on his perineum and his head falls back on the pillow and you see how his dick twitches and long white stripes spray out over his chest. You stop massaging his shaft and switch over to feather light touches while continuing to stroke his perineum and you lick your lips at the sight of his dick that still sprays white stripes out and you had never expected to find it so erotic. When he is empty you let your hands slide over the inside of his thighs and you wait patiently until he has his breathing back under control, letting your eyes roam over his gorgeous body stretched out before you.

"Fuck, y/n, I can't even........" he wheezes.

You smile and crawl over his body to kiss his lips and when you want to pull back his fingers slip in your hair and pulls you back down to kiss you deeply. After the kiss he looks at you, eyes still slightly darker blue then usual.

"That was amazing, tu es si belle, si magnifique." he says still a little out of breath.

"I've never heard you swear so much during sex." you say.

"Yeah well, that's because I've never experienced sex like that,"he answers and pulls you closer,"I love you."

"I love you too." you answer.

"I am going to get myself cleaned up, be right back."

He kisses you before he gets out of bed and walks to the bathroom only to come back in some seconds later. He slips into bed besides you and draws you close to him, kissing your shoulder before he falls asleep. 

When you wake up it's still dark in the room, the only sounds that are heard is the rain tickling against the window and Tom's shallow breathing, someway during the night you turned on your back and Tom's nose is against your shoulder and his fingers lay on your lower abdomen. You place yours over it and suddenly your mind wanders to the pregnancytests in the bathroom. Without thinking about it you carefully squirm away from him and when you stand next to the bed you look at him for a moment before you walk to the bathroom and take out one test. Your eyes move over the box and when you take the stick out you wrap the foil off of it and look at it. You read the despriction, + is pregnant, - is not. Easy as that. You pull your underwear down and sit on the toilet and you discover thet peeing on such a small stick can be a challange when your nervous and you can not prevent getting some on your fingers. When you are done you place it on the sink and wash your hands. You have to wait 5 minutes and soon you are pacing back and forth in the bathroom, biting your nails. Hesitantly you step closer and suddenly you grab the stick in your hands, hiding the result and you close your eyes. Okay, this is it, you think and you open your eyes while revealing the little screen on the stick and and you see the result.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> j'ai besoin de te toucher, chérie;I need to touch you, darling
> 
> tu es si belle, si magnifique;you are so beautiful, so magnificent


	23. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So before you guys are going to read this I just want to say that I have never expected this story to get so much reviews and kudo's and faithfull followers. First this was supposed to be a three chapter thing, then it went to five and now look at where we are! Chapter 24 and counting, I never would have gotten this far without your support and I am so proud of it and of all of you who read this and well, just want to say thank you so much, you're the best, all of you!
> 
> having said that, go read my darlings

After the result has sunken in there appears a smile on your face. You stores the stick in the drawer and then closes it to stand facing the mirror and you look at yourself. You go hands go to your stomach and you stroke it gently, a baby, there's a baby inside you, Tom's baby. You suddenly become quite warm and fuzzy inside and you walk back into the bedroom. The curtains are a little open in the middle and the moonlight that shines into the bedroom falls on Tom's face, suddenly you see him in a very different light and even though you think it is a bit quickly you are still very happy. Somewhere you can not wait to tell him and you bite your lip, wondering if you should wake him up to tell him but then you get an idea and you decide against it. You crawl back into bed and you nestle yourself as close to him as you can, your arm across his waist and your head on his chest. Tom stirs but does not wake up and you give him a kiss on his chest and whispers to the darkness how much you love him.

The next day is tha day of Tom's party and everything is ready, the food is arranged and his friends are called, they have both agreed to come with their wives, to your delight. Dean is called to work and therefore Tom is playing with Jason when Emma comes walking into the room she looks at you.

"Y/N, I'm getting Levi out of bed, come with me?"

You look up from your magazine and look at her, you have not left Tom's side all day and have therefore not had a chance to tell her and you smile.

"Of course." you say.

You get up from the couch and walk up to her, in passing Tom lets his hand slide over your leg and you smile at him while your hand cuddles hair. As soon as you stand in the hallway she grabs your arm and looks at you excited. You shake your head and walk upstairs, when you are sure that Tom can not hear you you turn to face her.

"And?" she says.

"I'm pregnant." you say, beaming.

"Oh, y/n, this is great!" she says and grabs you tight to give you a hug, "but you have not told him?"

"No, I want to do that tonight."

"With Chris and Ken there? Are you sure?"

"Yes, it is a great gift and Tom trusts them both fully, if we indicate that no one should know yet, they will not tell."

"Okay, that's true."

"Would you like to pack it for me? To be sure, I do not want him to see me."

"Of course."

"It is in the bathroom in the drawer."

"I'm going to do it right now, you take Levi downstairs? His bottle stands on the counter, it is already hot."

You nod and walk into Levi's room, he has pulled himself up and his fingers clasps tightly around the edge of his toddler bed as he looks at you with his big blue eyes. You smile at him and walk towards him.

"Hey, little man, did you sleep well?" you ask.

He starts jumping in his place and his lips form a big smile, you squat down next to him and you slide your hand over his head, he leans against the touch and therefore almost falls backwards.

"Okay, come here, you." you say.

You lift him up and place him on your hip while you walk downstairs with him, you go to the kitchen to get his bottle and then walk into the living room. Jason is now coloring, tongue peeking out between his lips in concentration and Tom sits on the couch watching and looks up when you come to towards him with his youngest nephew. He smiles and you sit next to him carefully, you give Tom the bottle so you can fold your legs under your body and can sit down comfortable and then you reach for the bottle. Tom gives it to you and you let the nipple slowly slip into Levi's mouth who immediately starts sucking as if his life depended on it. You feel how Tom lays his arm behind you on the the couch and his other hand takes Levi's smaller one and for a small moment you realize that in about nine months you will sit like this with your own child and you feel a slight blush kreeping up. Suddenly Tom places his hand on your cheek and turns your face towards him.

"Are you okay?" he asks, "you look a little flushed."

"I'm fine, really, it's just ..... this, you and me and this little one." you say softly.

At the mention of a little one his eyes become soft and he gets a smile on his lips, he suddenly comes forward to catch your lips in a soft kiss while his fingers caress your neck and the fingers of the arm behind your move over you shoulder and there runs a chill through your body. Tom turns his face slightly and deepens the kiss and you close your eyes and enjoy it.

"Oh god, youtwo, there are children here!" Emma suddenly says.

You break the kiss and you look at her apologetically.

"Sorry."

"Where do you want this?" she asks while holding up the present.

"You bought me a present?" Tom says, voice sounding excited.

"Of course I did, it's your birthday, and people get presents on their birthdays."

"Can I have it?"

He turns his face towards you, eyes shining so much with anticipation you laugh at him.

"No, you can not," you say,"put it in my purse, in the hallway."

"Why not?" he asks, pouting a little.

"Because, I want to give it to you tonight, with your friends there."

"What? I thought it would be just us?"

"I know, but I thought...well, you haven't seen them for quite some time and you won't be able too after we've left so I thought you would like to see them before that."

"You know I love you but please tell me it won't be a full house."

"It won't, I promise, just the two of them with their....significant others and us."

"Six then? I can do six,"he says and lays his chin on your shoulder,"who?"

"I'm not telling, it's a surprise."

"Hm....can you give me a hint then, about the present?" he tries.

You bite your lip and think about it before you look at him.

"It will be the best most amazing present you ever had and ever will recieve." you say.

"Well, your pretty sure of yourself." he says.

"Trust her, it is." Emma says, standing before you.

"Emma." you hiss.

"Oh you know?" Tom asks and looks up at his sister.

"I know and no, I will not tell you."

"Fine, I can wait." he says, crossing his arms.

Emma and you exchange a smile before you hand Levi her over to take care of the rest.

"We should get ready." you say, standing up and walking towards the hallway.

"You just go, I'll be there in a minute." he says.

You turn around and look at him, then at his sister.

"I won't tell, honest." she says.

"We'll see about that." Tom says, sounding menacing.

You open your mouth to say something but Emma raises her hand, stopping you.

"Trust me, y/n, I can handle him, I have been for all my life." she smiles.

You smile back and know she is right while walking upstairs and into the bathroom to take a quick shower and when your walking back into the bedroom, one towel around your hair and another around your body you walk back into the bedroom, seeing Tom standing before his closet, only wearing his jeans.

"What should I be wearing?" he asks.

"What?"

"What should I..." he stops mid-sentence when he sees you standing,"God, you look so delicious."

You laugh at his confesion and walk towards your own closet.

"Come here."he says.

Before you can protest he pulls you in his arms and you feel them snake around you waist and for a moment he just holds you close to him. You sigh deeply and close you eyes, you lay your head on his shoulder and breath in his scent. Then you look up at him and before you can do something Tom leans forward and kisses you, the kiss is intense and you enjoy it. His lips on yours, softly sliding against each other perfectly. Tom tugs at the towel around you hair, making it slip and your hair falls around your faces while the towel falls to the ground. He runs his hands through you wet hair, and pushes you backwards. A hand wanders down and he moves the towel aside, letting his hand slip underneath it and he strokes you bare skin, making you shudder at his touch. 

"Tom, we really have to get ready, we will be late..." you whisper but make no move to stop him.

"So? It's my party, I can come whenever I please and besides,"his lips trail up your neck to nip at your ear before whispering in his Loki voice,"I do what I want."

He takes the towel between his fingers and slowly loosens it untill that also falls to the ground. You feel his hands gently caressing you breasts, then he leans in and kisses you and you moan into his mouth. Your arms go around him and you pull him tightly against you. Tom has his hands on you buttocks and lifts you up and you instantly wrap you legs around his waist, locking you ankles at his back. He walks to the bed and lays you down then he leans back and just looks at you. You can feel his eyes gazing over you naked body and you blush under his stare.

"Your making me shy." you softly say.

"Why? Your beautiful y/n." he says

You reach your hand out to him and Tom takes it, lacing your fingers together and he joins you on the bed, lying on top of you. Tom smiles at you and kisses you again, his hands wandering over you naked body, you arms, you breasts, you stomach and you shiver under him when he rolls his hips forward, making you feel how much he wants you.

Tom moans and comes up slightly and you pull his pants and boxers down before pulling him towards you to kiss him.

"Make love to me." you whispers

"What about the party?" he asks.

"They can wait, I can't." you say and roll your hips up, seeking friction.

Tom looks at you, a smile playing on his lips and he ducks his head to let his tongue move slowly down you throat. You shiver with pleasure when his tongue goes over you breasts and he takes you nipple in his mouth. Then he moves further down to you clit and starts to play with it. He slowly lets his tongue slide over you entrance and then pushes it in a little, circling you sensitive nub and carefully biting it.

"Oh God." you moan, arching your back.

When he does it again you can't control youself and push him on his back to start kissing him violently. He slowly runs his fingertips over your soft bare back leaving goose bumps in their wake, you lean back slightly and gently move over his erection. Tom pulls you down and gives you a long warm kiss and then slowly slips deep inside you, you moan and enjoy the feel of his hard long lenght deep inside you, you move slowly but you feel him going very deep. Tom takes your hips and thrust up into you and soon you find a rhythm. Tom starts thrusting up faster and looks at you, suddenly he flips you over so you are now on you back, he grabs your hands and places them beside your head, thrusting harder and deeper into you. Your breathing hitches and you climax is approaching fast, Tom sees it, and suddenly begins to thrust slow but deep and hard. You close you eyes and wait in anticipation, waiting for the time you reach your climax, you feel him leaning over you to kiss you.

"Look at me." he whispers.

You look him in the eyes while together you reach a climax. You try to keep that wonderful feeling of ecstasy as long as possible but when you can't take it any more you slowly push him away. Tom lays down beside you and pulls you into his arms. He pushes a strand off you hair aside and kisses you neck. Your eyes are heavy with sleep and reluctantly you move away but Tom tightens his grip on your frame.

"I don't want to go." he says.

"We have too, come on, you lazy arse." you say, slapping his thigh.

Tom moans but still gets up, walking to his closet and you go to the bathroom to do your hair. When you're done you walk back into the room and sees that Tom has pulled a pair of jeans and a shirt from the closet. You pick a thick pair of tights out of the closet and pull them on, followed by a black dress.

"Can you zipp me up?" you ask.

Tom comes up behind you and closes the zipper followed by a kiss on your shoulder, then his fingers grab the elastic band to pull it out of your hair, making it fall back over your shoulders.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"Wear it loose tonight, for me,"he says, weaving his fingers through it,"I like it like that." 

"Anything for you, baby." you reply.

You walk back into the bathroom to do your hair a little and then walk back into the bedroom.

"Blue or green?" Tom asks, holding up two button down shirt.

"Green, I love green." you say, smiling.

"And don't I know it." Tom mutters.

You smile and walk past him.

"I'll wait downstairs for you."

"Okay."

You walk into the living room and stop in your tracks when you see Lucas sitting on the couch, he looks at you and stands up, letting his eyes go over your form.

"Lucas." you say.

"Y/N...."

You walk furter into the room, looking around you.

"Emma went to do some shopping with the little one." he explains.

"Oh, okay."

You walk past him to the window where your shoes are and put them on, when you stand back up your eyes fall on Lucas' reflection in te window, standing right behind you, looking into your eyes over your shoulder.

"You look beautiful, y/n."

"Thank you." you whisper.

"You feel it too, don't you?" he asks, breath ghosting over your bare shoulder and you close your eyes.

"I don't know what your talking about." 

"Yes you do, I can see it in your eyes when you look at me, I can see it in the way you react to my touch."

Then you feel how his fingers find yours and he softly starts to play with them making your breath hitch.

"Lucas, please don't....."

"I won't," he says and steps to the side, looking at your profile,"I might have developed some.....feelings for you and, seriously, look at you, you are breathtaking. But I know how much you love Tom so I won't act on them. Not unless you want me too." 

You look at him, mouth open, ready to say something but suddenly his hand comes up and he carresses your lips with his thumb.

"Don't say anything," then the fingers move down over your neck and shoulder, pushing aside your hair,"you should wear it down more often, I like it."

"Tom also said that."

"Well, what can I say? The man impeccable taste." he says smiling.

"Are you coming on to my woman, Lucas?" you suddenly hear Tom say.

"What?" you ask, whirling around,"no!, No he wasn't, we were just talking."

"Whoah, easy, darling, I was just joking." he says, raising his hands.

"Oh, okay, sorry." you say, blushing.

Lucas pushes his hands into his pockets and walks away.

"I will wait by the car." he says.

"We will be right there." Tom says.

When Lucas is gone Tom walks towards you, sleeves already rolled up and he takes you in his arms kissing you deeply and then looking at you.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, fine, come let's go."

Before he can react you lace your fingers together and you walk outside, your eyes go straight to Lucas standing next to the car and he opens the door for you. Milan is on the other side and keeps the door open for Tom. You bite your lip to avoid his eyes but right before you get in you feel Lucas' hand on the small of your back and you falter a little.

"Something wrong, y/n?" Lucas asks and you hear the smile in his voice.

"No, just don't." you whisper and get in.

The drive to the restaurant is quiet and you play a little with your fingers, you hardly respond when Tom takes them but when he pressed a kiss to them you look at him.

"Talk to me." he says.

"I don't...."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is....."

"Do not lie to me, y/n, I know you and I see that something's bothering you." he says firmly.

"I just want everything to go well tonight. One of the couples I do not really know but because you're so close with them, I just want them to like me."

"Of course they'll like you, they will love you."

He places his hand on your cheek and you lean against the touch, smiling.

"And you know why?"

"Why?"

"Because I love you."

Then he closes the distance and kisses you softly, chasing all the fears away.

When you arrive at the restaurant Lucas holds the door open for you, and you keep looking at him so you can ensure he does not touch you and when Tom stands besides you, you walk into the restaurant. Morgan comes to you and hands you the key to the room and while waiting for the elevator Tom turns himself to Lucas and to Milan.

"With all due respect, this is a private party and this elevator is the only way to get into the room where we are."

Normally they would protest but the sound in Tom's voice leaves no room for arguments and they stand next to the elevator as you walk in. Just before the elevator door slides shut your eyes flicker up and find Lucas, who looks at you with a very neutral face and when the elevator door is closed, you breathe out deeply. Tom gathers you against his chest and kisses your shoulder.

"I meant what I said in the car, they will love you."

"I know."

When you come into the room Tom sees that here and there balloons are hanging and in some places colored confetti is, he smiles and looks at you.

"This is great." he says.

Then there is a knock on the door and his eyes go there, then to you.

"Well, go and see." you say.

He walks to the door and opens it, immediately followed by a cry of joy.

"Chris! My God, it's good to see you!"

"Hey, mate," Chris says, and gives him a hug, "Congratulations man."

"Thank you. Elsa, it's good to see you too and look at you!"

You see that Tom's hand carefully slides over her swollen belly while he gives her two kisses and unconsciously your hands move to you abdomen. When they come into the room you quickly remove them and looks at them smiling.

"Ah, there she is," Chris says, and walks towards you, "thanks for the invitation."

"It's my pleasure."

You're a little surprised when Chris gives you a bear hug and two kisses on the cheek, followed by Elsa.

"So, he finally realized that he could not live without you, eh? About bloody time." Chris says jokingly. making you laugh.

"You want something to drink?" you ask.

"Sure, how about some wine?"

"Elsa?" you ask.

"I'll help you." she says.

You nod and together you walk towards the kitchen, while Elsa gets the two wine glasses and two juice glasses you take the wine out of the refrigerator and turn around to fill the glasses. When you want to fill the thrid one you raise your eyebrow when seeing the two juice glasses.

"No wine for me for obvious reasons but also not for you either." she says knowingly.

"What?" you ask, almost dropping the bottle.

"Oh come on, you can't fool me, I always had a six sence for that sort of things and especially now I am pregnant myself."

You place the bottle back in the refrigerator before you turn to her.

"Only a couple of weeks, I just found out yesterday evening."

"Tom doesn't know yet?" she says without sounding to judge you.

"No, I wanted to tell him tonight."

"With us here?"

"Yes, he trusts you and I thought it would be a pretty amazing gift."

"I'm sure he will be pretty amazed." she says, shaking her head laughing.

Then you hear another knock on the door and Elsa takes two more wine glasses from the shell while you fill them with the wine. Just when your done you hear the delight in Tom's voice when he sees Ken is here and you smile.

"This was a great idea, y/n." Elsa say.

"Thank you."

You both take three glasses and walk back into the room, Elsa gives a glass to Ken and Lindsey and you to Chris and Tom and the latter looks at you confused when he sees your drinking juice but before he can say anything Ken speaks.

"So, you are the famous y/n then,"making you look at him,"Tom used to talk about you so much I already have the idea I've known you for years."

You look up at Tom and see him blushing about the statement.

"This calls for a toast," Chris says and raises his glass,"to y/n and Tom, a match made in heaven."

You all toast to that before taking a sip of your drink.


	24. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you ready to find out how Tom will react when he finds out he knocked you up and is going to be a daddy 0:

After the toast Tom looks at you for a moment.

"No wine, darling?"

"Oh, uh, no, not if I have not eaten anything, I always become a little light in my head." you say.

You look away and your eyes find find Elsa's, who is smiling into her glass and you bite the inside of your cheek. Then there is a knock on the door and Morgan stands before you with the food. You let him in, and while he sets the food on the table you put the cutlery down together with Elsa and Lindsey. You hear the voices of Tom, Chris and Ken from the living room and you are happy that you've invited them and that Tom does not seem angry that it ended up not being just the two of you. When the table is set and everything is ready Morgan takes his leave of you and you walk into the room to fetch the men. They follow you into the dining room and you ultimately sit between Tom and Elsa. Chris is on the other side of Tom with Ken and beside him Lindsey sits. It is a large round table so you can see each other. 

During dinner the mood is very good and Chris Ken and Tom reminisce about filming Thor and other Marvel movies and you get into conversation with Elsa and Lindsey. Halfway through the meal it is suddenly silent untill Chris speaks.

"Hey Tom, the two men at the elevator, what's the story with that?"

"Yes, what is that?" Ken asks.

All eyes are focused on Tom and he looks at you, he takes your hand and looks at the rest who suddenly feel the tension in the room and Chris shifts position, leaning his arms on the table.

"Is everything all right? Should I be worried?" he says and he sounds genuine and in his blue eyes the same concern shines and you're slightly surprised when it is also directed at you and not only at Tom.

"Those men are Lucas and Milan, they need to stay with us to make sure we are safe." Tom says.

"Oh wait a minute, that disturbance at the Donmar," Ken says,"does that has something to do with?"

"Sort of." Tom replies.

"What is going on, mate?" Chris presses his friend.

You squeeze his hand reassuringly and he takes a deep breath before he tells them about Lisa and everything that has happened, from the break in at Tom's house and the picture untill the bloody coat and the message on it. During the story you feel how Elsa lays her hand on your back for comfort and the gesture makes you her look at. Also you can see Chris's eyes are wide and his jaw tighten. When Tom is finished you look around the table.

"That bitch." Chris says suddenly.

"Chris ..." Elsa says.

"What? She is threatening Tom's happiness with y/n, that's unacceptable. How does she look? Do you know?"

"What?"

"What does she look like? Describe her, Elsa and I are still here for about a week and when I see her ...." He does not finish his sentence but his teeth are clamped firmly together.

"Then you have to call the police." Tom says.

"Yeah, well, we will see about that." it sounds threatening.

"Chris, please, I don't want to get you involved in this." Tom says serious.

"Well that's too late, nobody messes with my family."

"Your family?" you say.

"Yes my family, Tom over here is like my kid brother, he's the fourth Hemsworth, you know that and you are his woman and that makes you family too, y/n."

You smile and feel touched by his words.

"Thank you, it means a lot that you consider me family too." you say.

"Of course I do, I'm just sorry for all the time you wasted."

"God, so do we," Tom smiles and he kisses your hand,"but we are working on making that up."

"Okay that's enough information for us." Elsa says laughing.

"Oh, I remember you had a present for me." Tom says and looks at you hopeful.

"Yes, I have,"you say and reach over for your purse to take it out an place it in front of him,"go ahead."

Tom takes the gift and sees an oblong box where the bracelet was in which he gave you that night and he frowns, he takes it with one hand while the other opens the lid. You bite your lip when the stick emerges and your eyes dart from Tom to the stick. His mouth goes open and closed and he slightly tilts the box so that the plus sign is clearly visible.

"Oh, is this ...." He looks up at you questioningly.

"That is a pregnancy test."

His eyes go back to the stick.

"A plus sign, a plus sign is good right? That's good right....?"

"Yes, a plus sign is very good, it confirms something, in this case a baby...."

"Oh my god," he says and puts a hand to his mouth as if only now realizing, "Oh my god, you ... we .... I ...."

His eyes remain fixed on the plus sign and you lean towards him.

"I'm pregnant, Tom, you going to be a daddy." you whisper in his ear.

Faster than you can do anything he comes up and grabs you in his arms as tightly as he can. You put your arms around his neck and laugh.

"Oh god, I'm going to be a father!" he screams and strengthened his grip around your waist.

"Honey, your crushing me." you squeak.

"Oh God I'm so sorry," he says and quickly puts you down,"but I'm going to have a baby..."

"You?" you ask and place your hands on your hips.

"Well, you are going to have it of course," he says, raking his hand through his hair,"but I helped."

"That you did." you agree.

He frames your face with his hands to kiss you deeply, you indulge in the kiss, forgetting that you have guests and when you hear someone scrape his throat he breaks the kiss.

"Congratulations, mate." Chris says.

He gives Tom a hug and Elsa does the same to you, followed by Lindsey and the rest. When you sit back Tom grabs the stick and looks at it again if he can not believe you're really pregnant.

"How long?" he asks.

"Not long, I think up to six weeks."

Then you look around the table and wait until everyone looks at you.

"I hope we can count on your discretion." you say.

"Of course, we will not say anything."

"We keep quiet, absolutely."

"Thank you."

Tom sits back in his chair and pulls you immediately on his lap, one hand on your lower back and the other on your stomach and his eyes go there.

"Wow, I just can not ....."

He looks up at you and you see a twinkle in his eye but also something else and to your amazement you see a tear rolling down down his cheek.

"Oh baby," you say, and kiss the tear away, "are you okay?"

"Yes, fine, I just .... I can not believe you're really pregnant, it's so fast, not that I do not want to, really, this child is so wanted by me so bad .... god I'm going to be a father ..... come here, darling."

He cups the back of your head and pulls you down to kiss you again, it's a kiss filled with gratitude and his fingers on your belly move making you breath falter.

"Do you want some alone time? Because we can leave...." you hear Ken say.

Laughing you let go and watch your guests who look as if they were left on their own but also have a smile on their face.

"Sorry."

You stand up from Tom's lap and pick up your juice.

"Shall we continue this in the living room?" you ask.

Everyone agrees, and while you walk away two arms circle around your waist and Tom gathers you against him, laying his chin on your shoulder.

"So that is why you did not wanted wine." he says.

"Busted."

Tom kisses your shoulder and lets you go to sit on the couch and promptly pulls you back on his lap.

"Hé, if there is anything we can give you, as in furniture or clothes or toys, just let us know, okay? At least, if it's a girl." Elsa says.

"Or advice, we're here." Chris completes.

"Thanks."

"I want a girl." Tom suddenly says.

"What?" you ask and look at him.

"A girl, I want a little girl."

"Not a boy?"

"Boy will be good too but with a girl the change is higher that she will be just as beautiful as her mommy."

"Aw, thank you, as long as she will have your eyes and curls."

"Either way, this kid will be gorgeous with both your genes." Ken says.

"Thank you, Ken, but you are giving my genes way to much credit." you laugh.

"No he isn't, darling," Tom says and kisses your neck,"you are gorgeous."

"Aren't you leaving for Canada soon? For that new movie?" Chris asks.

"Yes, Crimson Peak, it's in Toronto to be exact."

"Your not staying here are you?" he asks you, looking conserned.

"Well, I was planning too but since Lisa is still out there, I don't want to stay here while the only one that makes me feel safe is gone."

"Good, good choice."

"Wait a minute, is it safe now? I mean now that you are pregnant." Tom suddenly asks.

"I don't know, I haven't thought about that."

Both of you look at Elsa, who starts laughing.

"It's perfecly safe, you can fly all you want untill like, 26/27 weeks."

"Oh thank God." Tom breathes out.

"You think you'll be okay, y/n?" Chris suddenly asks.

"For the flight?" you ask, not understanding.

"For the walk to the plane, on the airport, what if there are photographers who recognize him? Or fans who recognize him and come to him? Will you keep walking next to him?"

"I have not thought about that." you say softly.

"Maybe you should, Tom over here has a very loyal fan base and although most will be happy for him, not all of his fans will appreciate you being in his life, look at Lisa."

"Chris what are you doing? Do you want to scare her?" Tom says, and you hear the rejection in his voice.

"No not at all, I want her to be prepared for the things that she is going to get over her when your relationship comes out. I've been there with Elsa, when we just got into a relationship my fans were just like yours. And even though the most where happy for us there also were a lot of fans that said and wrote the most horrible things about her, even when we would go somewhere and my fans asking me to sign autograph, some didn't even look at her and the ones that did had the most snide look in their eyes and I can even remember that one time they even tried to separate us from each other."

You look down and bite your lip, you had not looked at it like that and the words might sound hard, you know he's right.

"You want us to go with you?" Elsa asks.

You look at Tom who looks at you worried and then to Elsa.

"Would you do that?"

"Of course, Chris will lead the way with Tom so that when and if they might be recognized that all the attention goes to them, I just drag you through it." she smiles.

"When are you leaving?"

"Beginning of the afternoon, we'll arrive at the end of the afternoon in Toronto, I'm expected on set monday morning."

"We are staying in the Continental, just call us when your there."

"Thanks guys." you say.

Both Chris and Elsa smile at you and the rest of the evening is spent laughing and talking and even a little dancing and once again Chris surprises you when he suddenly wants to dance with you and, well, Ken can't let that go so not much later he whisks you away from Chris for his dance and at the end of the evening you find yourself encircled in Tom's arms again. When you become tired, Tom suggests to go home and you say goodbye to Ken and Lindsey and then Chris and Elsa. Before you go, Tom picks up the pregnancy test and puts it back in the box.

"This I will frame." he says, laughing.

Back at Emma's house you want to walk upstairs when suddenly the door to the living room opens and Emma stands before your with a big smile. 

"Emma, what are you still doing up." you ask surprised.

"I could not help it." she says.

"Could not help what?"

"Here." she says and reveals a package.

"What is this?"

"Something for the future mom and dad." she says.

"You did not have to do this."

"I know but I saw it in the store and I had to buy it." she says.

You take the package but to give it to Tom.

"WIll you do the honors, daddy?" you ask.

Tom takes the package and carefully takes paper off to reveal a baby bodysuit, white body and green arms and Tom suddenly has to laugh.

"What?" you ask.

"It has lettering." he says and holds it up so that you can read it.

"50% mommy and 50% daddy = 100% me," you say, and you laugh too, "Emma, really?"

You give her a hug and then step aside so that Tom can also give her a hug.

"Thank you, sis, I love it."

"And I love it that you are finally going to become a dad, congratulations, brother." she says.

When you walk into the bedroom you walk to the lower cabinet and lays the baby bodysuit on it, once you rubs it across and you smile.

"That was really sweet of your sister." you say.

"Hm, yes, that it was."

His arms turn you around and suddenly he lifts your bride style to lay your gently on the bed and while you kick off your shoes he leans over you and nestles between your legs, elbows next to your hips so that his face hovers above your abdomen and he pushes you dress up, baring your lower abdomen. Your breath gets stuck in your throat as you watch him then pull off your pantie and he places himself in his previous position between your legs. His fingers softly slide over your abdomen and he leans his head down to place a kiss there.

"Hey little one." he says.

You lean on your elbows and frown your eyebrows.

"Tom, what are you doing?"

"I'm having a moment with my child."

"It's not even legally a real person yet." you laugh.

"It's real enough for me, just indulge me, okay."

"Okay." you say.

"Your mother says you're not a real person yet, but for me your real enough, little one, I know you're still very tiny but I can not wait to hold you, I will love you so much, your mother and me both. You will never lack anything, I promise you. "

When he gives your abdomen another kiss he sits down on his knees and pulls you up so he can take off your dress and he throws it next to the bed. Your hands go straight to his shirt and you pull it over his head to throw it on the floor.

"You know, I still can not believe you're really pregnant," he says and kisses your lips, "and I can not wait until you start to show."

"You mean until I get fat."

"I mean when your belly starts to swell to accommodate my child."

"Our child." you correct him.

"Our child, you will look so beautiful, just the thought of it growing inside you I find amazing, just fascinating,"

he pushes you back and his kisses move lower to kiss your neck and he gently bites into your shoulder,

"I want to experience everything from ultrasounds to increased binge eating, I will get you a greasy bite in the middle of the night if you need one, when you're sick, I will take care of you, I will hold your hair when you have to vomit and even when your hormones are acting up and you yell at me then I will still stay with you, my darling, "

his kisses go up again and he kisses your face and ends at your lips to kiss you passionately before he looks at you and pushes your hair away from your face,

"Thank you, thank you so much for given me the most beautiful and precious thing I can ever receive, I love you so much, y/n." 

Before you can say anything he kisses you intensely and with such passion that your head spins, he rolls his hips down and you moan at the friction caused by his jeans and your hands go down to squeeze them in between you and you grab his waitsband.

"Off, this has to go." you gasp.

Tom laughs and sits up to take off his pants and throws it beside the bed, immediately followed by his boxer. When he places himself between your legs you lay them around his waist and he moves you slip aside to let a finger slide over your slit.

"Fuck, you're so ready for me."

"Take me, Thomas."

He grabs his erection and aligns it against you slit and he slowly and deeply pushes it inside, you push your head in the pillow and you immediately feel his lips in you neck biting kissing and licking. He keeps rolling his hips slowly and you push your hips up at each roll to feel him deeper. You are already so excited that you soon feel a tingling sensation in your stomach.

"I'm close, Tom."

Tom moves faster and when his breathing gets heavy and he starts to moan brokenly, you know that he is close. It does not take long for both of you come to a climax and exhausted, he lets himself fall beside you. After some time you roll on your side, arm draped over his waist and head on his chest.

"You know, maybe we should find a doctor in Toronto, for an ultrasound."

"I think that is a great idea, just let me know, I will figure out a way to be there." 

"I hope Guillermo isn't going to be to upset with it."

"You just leave him to me, okay? Go to sleep, we have a busy day tomorrow." he says, kissing your head.


	25. Chapter 26

The next morning you walk upstairs after breakfast to pack your suitcases while Tom remains downstairs so he can tell Jason that you are going away for a while. First you grab the suitcases and place them open on the bed, then you walk to Tom's closet and grab some button downs, shirts and trousers and to be sure a suit and then some sweaters. You fold them and put them in his suitcase when Emma appears in the doorway, leaning against the door frame.

"How do you feel?" she asks.

"Good." your answer and zips up the suitcase.

"No nausea?"

"No, not at all." you say relieved and you stand before your own closet.

"I hope it stays that way for you, during both pregnancies I was so sick that I often could not even cook for Dean, the smell alone gave me the inclination to vomit."

You laugh at what she says, remembering what Tom said.

"Oh you think that's funny?" Emma says, feigning hurt.

"No, no not at all, it's just .... something Tom said last night."

Emma smiles and crosses her arms.

"I'm sure Tom will take care good of you, he is so going to pamper you."

"I know."

"I'll leave you to pack." she says and walks away. You walk to the closet and look into it, it's not that much and you slide the clothes together and take it off the rod in one motion to put it on the bed, you get the hangers off and carefully fold it up to place in your suitcase. Then you place the hangers back inside the closet and your eyes fall on the scrapbook of Tom and you smile. You pick it up and decide to take it with you for the undoubted lonely evenings you will face when Tom is filming. Then you walk into the bathroom and grabs some stuff from there to pack. When you come back into the bedroom you see Lucas is leaning against the door frame.

"Lucas." you say, although it comes out more like a whisper.

"Hey, y/n, Emma asked me to bring the suitcases to the car."

"Oh, okay, I'm almost done." you say.

You walk over to the suitcases to place the bath stuff in it, when you look up again, Lucas is gone but then you notice that he is right beside you.

"There's something different about you." he says.

"What do you mean?" you asks nervously and take a step backward.

"I do not know, you look different," he says, and takes a step in your direction to see you have better, "happier, more confident and even a little more radiant. Are you pregnant?"

He takes an another step towards you and suddenly you stand with your back against the wall and he lightly places his hand on your stomach, fingers spread making your breath stutter in your throat.

"Lucas ..."

"Congratulations, y/n."

"Thank you." you whisper.

"I'm sure you'll look very lovely with a swollen belly," his other hand comes up and he tilts your face so you look at him, face just inches away from yours,"I'm going to miss you, will you miss me too?" he asks.

You feel his breath ghosting over your face and you have to close your eyes, praying to God that he isn't going to kiss you but then you feel his nose against your cheek and you can't surpress a shiver running up your spine. You should do something, say something or push him away so your hands come up and you place them against his chest in a feeble attempt and you feel his muscles beneath the shirt. You hear him chuckle and then he kisses your cheek softly.

"I'll take the suitcases to the car." he whispers against your skin, taking your hands and kissing them too before he leaves.

You remain standing like that for some time until you hear Tom's voice.

"Darling? You okay?"

You open your eyes and see Tom standing by the bed looking at you worried and his eyes go to your belly.

"I'm fine, really, just uh.....bit tired I guess."

"Come here," he says and pulls you in his arms,"I want you to try and sleep a little in the plane, okay?"

"Okay, I'll try."

You concentrate on his hands moving over your back and you feel yourself calm down a little but you also curse yourself for allowing Lucas to come so close to you again and although nothing really happened you feel guilty towards Tom. Your hands come up and fist his shirt and when you look up your eyes meet and his mouth opens to say something but before he can utter a word you stand up on your toes and kiss him deeply, sucking licking and biting his lowerlip, making him groan into your mouth and his arms tighten around you, pulling you closer. The kiss continues and with each minute it becomes more intens and more deep and out of breath you break the kiss.

"God if we didn't have to leave I would take you against this wall." he moans hoarsly.

"Sorry, I just....I just want you to know how much I love you." you answer.

"I love you too," he says smiing,"come, we should go, I already called Chris, he and Elsa will be waiting for us in their rentall in the parking garage."

He takes your hand and leads you downstairs where you say goodbye to Emma and Dean and you give a kiss to Jason and Levi and you wait by the door while Tom does the same but when he wants to kiss Jason's head the boy turns away and crosses his arms over his chest, face looking upset and even a little angry.

"Fine be like that." Tom says.

He takes your hand and walks with you to the hallway and just when you want to say if he isn't a bit cruel now Tom looks at you, shaking his head. Emma and Dean follow you, leaving the door to the livingroom open and when Tom opens the front door there suddenly sounds a loud cry from the livingroom and Tom turns around just in time for Jason to attach himself to his leg.

"What's this?" Tom says surprised.

The little boy looks up at him, eyes a bit teary now and Tom reaches down to pick him up and place him on his hip.

"I will miss you too terribly, you know that, I promis lots of gifts for you and your little brother when we return, okay?"

In an instant his face lights up and he hugs Tom who places a kiss on his head before handing him to Dean. They walk with you to the car and after one last goodbye you get in and the car drives off. When you reach the hotel where Chris and Elsa are staying Tom says to Lucas to drive into the parking garage and soon you spot Chris and Elsa. Tom directs Lucas to stop next to them and when the car stops Chris opens the door for you to help you out followed by a hug. After the guys put your luggage in Chris' car Tom turns to Lucas and Milan.

"Guys, thank you so much for the last weeks, keeping us safe." he says and shakes both their hands.

"Yes, thank you for everything." you say.

"It was our pleasure." the both reply.

You avoid Lucas' eyes and wuickly walk to the other car but not before you hear Lucas saying to Tom to take good care of you and for a moment you pause before you sit in the back of the car together with Elsa. When Chris and Tom are also in the car Chris starts it and drives off while you focus your eyes on your hands, making sure you can't see Lucas. When you see Elsa's hands taking yours you look up at her.

"Are you alright?" she asks.

"Yes, fine, just nervous for the flight, I guess."

"You have flown before right?" Tom asks and turns around in his seat to look at you.

"Yes, but that was so long ago that I hardly remember."

"You'll love it." he says.

You nod and swallow once.

"What is the plan, were Chris and Tom to be recognized?" you ask.

"Well, I can continue walking a little further with you until we are at a safe distance." Elsa suggests.

"No." Tom says suddenly.

"What?" Chris asks.

"I do not want you to leave my side," he says and continues to look at you while he takes your hand, "I will not hide you like your some sort of secret because you deserve so much more then that, for gods sake, y/n, your carrying my child, I want the world to know about you, I want to scream from the rooftops I have found the other half of my soul and I have never been happier. I love you and if some of my fans do not agree with that and react jealous, then so be it, they are not my real fans then anyway, I don't care. I will not allow them to dictate me how to treat you. And besides, wheter we go public now or in three months, it won't make them any less jealous."

"That is true." Elsa agrees.

"You sure?" you ask.

"Yes, very sure, when we are walking over the airport, I want you to walk beside me, your hand in mine and if we are recognized I'm okay with you taking a few steps back but I do not want you to hide for them. As Chris said last night, my real true fans will be happy for me and they will accept you as the woman in my life."

"Okay." 

Tom smiles and pulls you forward to kiss you, somewhere your happy about the fact that he want's you close but it doesn't help calm your nerves. When you arrive at the airport you and Elsa step out and wait for Chris and Tom. Both are wearing a hoodie covering their heads a little and Chris wears a denim jacket over it where Tom is wearing his leather jacket. Both you and Elsa wear a scarf that covers the lower half of your face a little. The guys get the trolly's out of the car and Chris offers to pull yours. Then Tom walks up to you and places his hand against your cheek.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

You nod and feel how he laces his fingers with yours while you enter the airport. Your eyes scan the airport and luckely you see know one looking at you. When your half way there you suddenly hear someone calling Tom's name and you freeze, then it's Chris name that's being yelled and you slowly turn your head to see a couple of women coming towards you and suddenly you try to pry your hand out of Tom's grasp but he turns to you and pulls you back.

"Hey, it's okay,"he says and seeks your eyes,"it's okay, just some fans, stay with me, okay, y/n."

"Yes, okay." you say.

When Tom let's you go you automatically move closer to Elsa who takes your hand and squeezes it reassuringly. Tom and Chris are about 2 feet from you when the women reach them and they politely take their pen and paper to put their signature down. You look up and see that the women look at Tom and Chris with, to your idea a too coveted look in their eyes, and when one of the women suddenly gives Tom a hug, which he of course answers because seriously that is just how he is, and she just about assaults him you fist your hands forgetting that you hold Elsa's hand and she protests.

"Oh, god I'm sorry." you say.

"It's okay."

"Did you see that?" you say.

"Yes, I saw that," she answers affirmatively, "and I've also seen it more often, that fans impose themselves on Chris in front of me, even when they know I'm there. Sometimes I think they do it on purpose, as if wanting to say; look what I am doing to your husband, I dare you, bitch. "she says and you laugh.

"How do you get used to something like that?"

"Ah, you just get used to it I guess and of course it also helps that at the end of the day your the one he's crawling into bed with."

"That is true." you sigh.

The women are now getting their pictures taking with Chris and Tom, the person who practically forced herself upon Tom in the middle of the men. When the picture is done and the women say goodbye one of them suddenly to you and Elsa standing and normally they would not look a second time but one of the women recognize Elsa and when she looks at you she frowns and then looks at Tom who at that moment looks into your direction and gives you a wink. Your eyes go back to the woman who now looks meaningfull from you to Tom and when you make eye contact with her, you slowly shake your head. You have no idea why you do that but to your surprise the woman says nothing and walks away together with her friends. Right before they turn the corner she looks back at you, giving you two thumbs up and a big smile, making you and Elsa laugh.

"What's so funny?" Tom asks.

"Nothing, I'll tell you in the plane." you say.

"Come let's go to customs." he says and reaches out his hand which you take.

At customs you say farewell to Chris and Elsa and thank them that they wanted to come along.

"Always and have fun in Toronto, and Tom, try not to work too much and give this beautiful lady also some attention." Chris says.

"Of course."

Once you have walked through customs and you have given your suitcases to be transported to the plane you walk hand in hand through the less busy shopping area of the airport.

"How long do we have?" you ask.

"Uh, about an hour before we are allowed on board."

"Let's have coffee and something to eat."

"Whatever the lady wants." is the answer.

You walk into a cafe and look for a table and after the waitress has taken your order Tom takes your hand over the table and he rubs his thumb over the back of it.

"You know, I'm actually glad that Lisa is not caught yet because that is the reason you are with me. I would love to take you to set every day but I'm afraid that the filming then will get very hard for me to focus on." he smiles.

You blush at his words and look at your hands woven together and you still marvel at how good it feels to be so close to him, how right it feels. When the waitress comes back with your coffee she puts two pieces of applepie on the table and a bowl of whipped cream. You pull it towards you and cover your applepie richly.

"Well, you're obviously not worried about too much whipped cream anymore." Tom says.

"Ah, I am getting fat anyway."

"Swollen, darling, you become swollen."

"Hmm, whatever and moreover I am eating for two now."

Tom laughs and starts on his own slice. When you are ready and the bill is paid you walk further to your gate but instead of walking inside he pulls you into another room and before you can say something you are in a large beautiful room where only men in suits and women in dresses are.

"Tom what is this?" you ask.

"A separate room for the the more famous people among us, so that we can prepare in peace. There will be someone from the airline when a van is ready to take us to the plane."

"Wow, that's.... neat."

You keep looking around, there are only a handful of people present and you only notice that Tom has pulled you to a secluded corner when you feel his arms slipping around your waist and you turn your face to be pulled into an intense kiss. You surrender to him instantly, moving your arms around his neck as he pushes you against the wall and his hands slide up and down over your side.

"That I've wanted to do since we left." he murmurs against your lips.

You smile and your hands weave through his hair and to your surprise it's longer and you grab some locks to pull him to you so that your lips find each other again. When the voice of a woman announces that the van that transports you to the airplane is ready, he reluctantly moves away from you. After you arrive in the plane the stewardess leads you to your seats and again, your mouth drops open at what you see. It's like a little hotel up there, there are three rows of seats containing two seats and they all have a rail on the ceiling with a curtain to give some privacy and there even is a little bar.

"Oh my god, seriously.." you whisper.

Tom chuckles next to you and pulls you to your seats by the window, you sit down and you immediatly sink away in the soft seat and you lay your head back while moaning a little. Tom sits down next to you and pushes on a button on the armrest and a cusshion pops up to support your feet.

"This is amazing," you say,"do you always fly like this?"

"Most of the time but I have to admit that this is one of the airlines that goes all the way for the rich and famous."

"Most have cost you a fortune."

"Well, excually the film production company pays."

"You must be joking."

"No, just like the apartment we have been assigned too and the car with a driver who picks me up every morning and brings me back every night."

"Do not tell me they do that for every actor."

"No, just for the actors who play the main roles."

"Seems a little unfair." you say softly.

"I know, it is." Tom answers and you hear the sincerity in his voice.

You sit up straight and put your hand against his cheek and he smiles at you, without taking his eyes off you, he reaches for the curtain and pulls it around you so that you are completely from sight of the other people.

"What are you doing?"

"Following Chris' advice on giving this beautiful lady some attention." he replies.

He leans forward to kiss you and in a simple movement, he pushes away your armrest so he can push you back and you let yourself go willingly. The kiss is intense and soon his hand slides down over your side and slips in the split of your dress to go up again over your bare leg, and when he puts it on your hip you cover it with yours.

"Tom, someone could see."

"No one will see, darling, but maybe you're right and we should wait until we took off." he says and lets you go.

Not one minute later a woman's voice is heard from the other side of the curtain.

"Sir?"

"Yes,"Tom answers and slides the curtain away.

"You will have to fasten your seatbelt for take off, you can take it off when the light will turn to green. Can I get you anything?"

"A pillow please and maybe a blanket?"

"Of course, I will be right back." she says.

"I'm not really tired, Tom."

"I don't care, I want you to take it easy." he says.

He moves closer to you and kisses your cheek while he lays his hand on your lower abdomen, letting his thumb slide over it and you feel yourself getting weak. You place your hand on his and smile at him. Then the stewardess comes back and gives Tom a blanket and a pillow.

"Here you go, sir, anything else?"

"No, we're fine, thank you."

Tom turns to you and places the pillow beneath your head before he unfolds the blanket and drapes it over you. Then he leans towards you and kisses your forehead.

"Go to sleep, darling." he says, sitting back in his seat.

You nod and can't deny that you start to get a little sleepy and you close your eyes, the last sound you hear being the curtain that Tom slides around you two again, before you drift away in sleep.


	26. Chapter 27

When you wake up you don't emmediatly know where you are but when you look to your left you are met with two bright blue eyes looking at you. Tom is lying on his side, hand supporting his head watching you.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty." he says and smiles.

"Hey," you answer, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes while you make a small yawn, "where are we?"

"Halfway." he replies.

You moan and curl on your side too, facing him and crawling a little closer to him. Tom wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you against him.

"You're beautiful." Tom says suddenly, kissing your head.

"Oh, yeah sure, I just slept two and a half hours, my hair is probably a mess and my dress is wrinkled...."

"Do you remember what I said? That first night at your house?"

You think but your head is still full of sleep, and you look at him.

"Even in a sackcloth you would still be beautiful."

"You're such a smooth talker." you say.

Tom's hand slowly moves across your back while he starts kissing your neck and you moan softly.

"Lie down on your back." you say softly.

"Why?" he asks.

"Ever wanted to join the Mile High Club?" you ask.

"Hmm, I've never felt the need but I've never beenn on a plane with such a beautiful woman before." he says as he lies down on his back.

You sit up slightly and place one leg over his to pull it apart and your hands glide down over his chest, your hand makes quick work of his button and zipper and you let your hand immediately slip below the waistband of his boxer to take his already semi-hard dick. He rolls his hips up and his eyes close, you move your hand slowly up and down until it is hard and then you slide his pants and boxer down his thighs.

"Y/N..."

"Sshh." you whisper.

You kiss his lips briefly before you sit upright and pull off your slip, when you drop it on your seat Tom's breath falters in his throat. You put the blanket away from you and you straddle him while you hold your dress up so that the top of his erection presses against your wet slit. Tom's hands go straight to your knees and they slip under your dress to grab your hips. You reach behind you and take his shaft firmly to put it against your opening and slowly you let yourself drop down.

"Oh, God ..." he moans.

He grabs your hips firmer and thrust the last bit up so that he completely fills you. You keep silent and place your hands on his stomach, you look at him and see that he looks at you, biting his lip. You smile and come down to kiss him and then you look at him.

"We have to be quiet." you say.

Tom nods and you sit up straight, your hands slipping under his shirt to feel the hot skin of his chest and you roll your hips forward and back again and then make a circular motion while Tom lazy thrusts up into you. Whether it's the height you do not know but you feel that you are already very close and you look at Tom and see the same thing in his eyes. You also know that it will become a real challenge to remain silent and you lean back down to seal your lips in a kiss and to swallow each others moans. One of his hands move up and he cups your breast through the fabric of your dress and when he squeezes it you bite his lip playfully. He chuckles against your lips, a chuckle that turns into a low moan when he thrusts one more time hard into you and you feel Tom's seed covering your innerwalls and soon after you have your climax. You keep kissing each other while you slowly recover. When you break the kiss his hand leaves your hips and one slides over your back, pulling you down and you lay your head on his chest while the other tangles in your hair.

"Sir?" you suddenly hear again.

Tom's hand on your back freezes and the one in your hair tightens his grip and because of some strange reason you feel his erection twitch inside you making you bite your lip to keep in a groan.

"Yes." he replies as good as he can.

"We are giving our guests a free glass of champagne because the airline excists 100 years, I will set two glasses down next to the curtain, Sir."

"Thank you." he replies.

You remain lying like that for several minutes before you look up at him.

"You okay?" you ask.

"Yeah, fine, just....god.."he says.

He starts laughing and you sit up and want to let him slip out of you but Tom grabs your hips and holds you back.

"No, stay like this for a little while longer." he says and you actually see a blush on his cheeks.

"You like to be inside me?" you ask and wiggles your hips.

"Hmm, I love to be seated inside you, it's a perfect fit."

He feels under the curtain his hand for the glasses and passes them to you. You take the glasses and look how he sets the seat back upright and then he takes a glass from you and tips it with yours.

"To us, and to our little child who is in the safest place there is." he says, placing his free hand on your stomach.

"I'll drink to that," you laugh,"just not with this."

You hold up the champagne and Tom looks at you, not understanding but then his face turns red.

"Oh dear heavens, I'm so sorry." he says and takes the glass from you.

"That's okay," you smile,"just ask for some water."

Before Tom calls the stewardess he lets you get up from his lap you quickly pull your slip back on and go sit in your seat, not much later the same woman stands besides you again and she nods, bringing you an glass of water in the champagne glass. After some time you hear a ping and notification that the pilot will deploy the landing and that you have to buckle your safetybelt. The landing goes smoothly and quickly a van is ready to bring you to the airport. Tom pulls his hood over his head, in spite of the fact that he is not yet very well known in Canada. You put your scarf around your neck and when you walk on the airport your hands find each other and your fingers automatically lace together. You want to walk to the exit but when Tom pulls you in another direction you look at him and you see that you walk to a car rental. You frown your eyebrows, and when he gets a form to fill out your lean towards him.

"Tom, you said yourself that you'll be picked up and taken home, why do you need a car?"

"It's for you."

"For me?"

"Yes, so you can go wherever you want whenever I'm filming."

Okay, you think, that sounds reasonable.

"Do you have Jaguars?" he asks while he gives the form back to the woman.

"What? I do not need a Jaguar." you say right away.

"I'm not going to rent just any car, y/n, you need to be safe," and he leans towards you, "and the little one too, I'm not going to take any risks with you."

You squeeze your lips together, the tone of his voice leaves no room for an argument and somewhere you understand it also and you nod.

"Here you go, it's the latest model, it is on deck 2 number 210." the woman says.

She pushes the keys to him, and when Tom wants to take them the woman leans forward and looks at him quizzically.

"You're that actor from England, aren't you? You here for the shooting of a movie."

"Yes that's right."

"Could I have your autograph?" she asks, her eyes watching him almost pleadingly, "my daughter is a big fan of yours."

"Sure. What's your daughter's name?"

"Jolene Walker." she says.

The woman gives him a piece of paper and a pen and while he puts his signature you watch the women who sweeps her eyes over Tom appreciatively and you scrape your throat, making the woman look at you immediately and smile you sweetly at her. She gives you a smile back and averts her eyes. When Tom's finished, he pushes the paper to her and she thanks him. He grabs the keys and puts them in his pocket before he grabs your hand and you walk away.

"Were you jealous?" he asks, and you hear the smile in his voice.

"No, maybe," you say, "you remember those women at the airport in London?"

"Yes, I'm sorry you had to see that." he says, referring to the behavior of one of them.

"Hmm, according to Elsa, I should get used to it, she said that some of Chris' fans even do it when they know she is there."

"That's not very nice of them, but Elsa is an actress herself, she knows how the fans are, your not."

"No, but she's right, I'll have to get used to it that women trow themselves at you, you have, after all, been voted sexiest actor like a year ago."

"That gives them no right to grope me, fortunately it does not happen so often, and you know I love you and I always come back to you."

You walk further together and when you reach the Jaguar you do not know what you see, it is of magnificent beauty and Tom holds the door open for you while you get in. When he slides into the seat next to you, you are still busy admiring the interior and he lays his finger under your chin to turn your face to him.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." you reply.

"Wait till you see the apartment."

You look at him and see that he has a grin on his lips.

"It has no garden but from the balcony a spectacular view, open fireplace in the living room and bedroom and a huge bathroom with a jacuzzi."

"A jacuzzi?" you ask with wide eyes.

"Welcome to my world, darling." he says, putting on his sunglasses while starting the car and he drives away.

"I love your world."

"And I love you." he says, taking your hand and kissing the back,"and I for one, can use a bath after a flight of more than seven hours."

"Need someone to wash your back?" you ask.

"Always." he says.

You lean back into your seat and look outside, Tom's hand clasped between yours in your lap, after a drive of a few minutes you drive on a road along a beach.

"That's not the sea is it?" you ask.

"No, that's Lake Ontario. We have an appartment on the edge of Toronto, the Pinewood Studios, where we will be filming is only like, 10 minutes away or something. Our view is that lake." he says.

Not not much later, the car stops. You look up and see Tom get out and before you get the chance, he opens the door for you. You take his hand and get out. Tom walks to the trunk and takes your luggage ou before he walks to the door, it is a huge apartment complex and Tom goes through his knees to take an envelope out of his suitcase. He pulls out an enveloppe which contains a key that opens unlocks the front door and he holds the door open for you so that you can enter. You stand in a large hall with three elevators and two staircases. You press the button of the elevator and soon one opens and you walk inside. You stand at the back of the elevator and see Tom pushing on the button of the top floor. He turns around and looks at you and smiles, he leans forward to give you a kiss and then stands next to you. When the elevator opens on the right floor you walk out in search of the right number and you come to a halt in front of the last appartment and when Tom opens the door he gestures you go first and cautiously you step inside.

You are standing in a narrow hallway and when you walk further you see an open kitchen on the left with a bar and when you walk further you suddenly stand in a large circular living room with furniture of dark cherry wood and two sofa's, in a corner is a large open fireplace and facing one of the sofa's is a large widescreen TV. The windows go from the ceiling to the floor and the two last windows are sliding doors leading to a balcony which is equal to the entire front. You walk around the room and come to a door leading to a bathroom with a toilet, bathtub and sink and when you get back into the room, you look at Tom.

"You promised me a jacuzzi." you say almost accusingly.

"I did, but you have not seen everything yet." he says.

He walks up to you and takes your hand to lead you to the other side of the room and you walk into the bedroom which also has a large fireplace and a sliding glass door to the balcony and because your room is the last one there are windows on two sides so it's very bright from the daylight coming in. He opens a door in the back wall of the bedroom and suddenly you are in a huge bathroom with toilet, shower and washbasin with black marble top. In the middle of the bathroom you see the promised jacuzzi and you smile. It is lowered into the ground and very spacious.

"Just just think about what we can do in that jacuzzi," Tom says, and he squeezes your hand, "if you fill it up I'll bring the suitcases to the bedroom and I will unpacking some things."

"Okay."

Tom kisses you and then walks away while you carefully get on your knees to turn on the tap and when it reaches the right temperature you crawl to the rack next to it where all kinds of oils are standing. You look through them and eventually take a vanilla scented one out and pour a little in the bath which immediately creates foam. You sit there for some time and when it is half full you stand up and walk into the bedroom, Tom is crouching next to one of the nightstands and he sits with his back to you.

"Tom?" you say.

He turns around with a start and looks at you with eyes that look at you as if he's caught with something.

"What are you doing?" you ask and walk towards him.

"Nothing." he quickly says and closes the nightstand before he gets up and walks towards you

"What did you ....."

"Come," he says and grabs your hand, "I am in terrible need to take a bath."

He takes you to the bathroom and you look frowning at the nightstand before he pulls you into the bathroom and starts to undress you and when you feel his fingers sliding over your naked body, the nightstand is soon completely forgotten. Your hands also start to undress him and then he lifts you up, you lay your hands around his neck and your fingers play with the short curls in his neck while you start kissing him. Carefully he steps into the jacuzzi and he sits down on the raised ridge with you in his lap, your lips still locked. His fingertips slowly move across your spine and you arch up into him, making your nipples touch his and he moans low into your mouth. When you break the kiss you breath out and lay your head on his shoulder.

"Tired?" he asks.

"Yes, I have no idea why, I slept three and a half hours on the plane but I'm suddenly exhausted." you sigh.

"Then close your eyes, darling." he murmurs in your ear.

You nod and close your eyes while you his over your fingertips feel side sliding you fall asleep.

 

When you wake up you are lying in bed, you blink your eyes and then notice that it is dark, you slowly sit up and look around. You notice that you're wearing a shirt and also that Tom does not lie next to you and you frown. You want to push the blanket away from you when you suddenly smell something and you freeze.

"No way." you whisper.

You jump out of bed and run towards the livingroom where you are met with Tom, standing behind the couch with a plastic bag in his hands and your eyes go there.

"Hungry?" he asks and holds it up.

"Is that Chinese?" you ask, smile around your lips.

Tom says nothing just smiles back at you and walks towards the couch, placing the boxes in the table, you walk around the couch and sit down on your knees beside him. When he is done he looks at you and you look at him too.

"I love you." you say, making him laugh.

"I know, and I figured you must be hungry when you would wake up so when I found some take-away menus in one of the drawers and I saw a Chinese being one of them and since you love Chinese so much I ordered some. All the boxes say what is in them so, go ahead."

He waits untill you have taken one of the boxes and then takes on himself.

"How long have I slept?"

"About five hours." Tom says.

"What? How could I have slept for five hours?" you say incredulously.

''Because you know you're truly safe.'' Tom answers.

You look at him, still not understanding and Tom cups your cheek and smiles.

"The last few weeks you have been living under the threat of someone who told you with little massages that she has her eye on, that she is watching you and waiting for her chance. You constantly had to look over your shoulder. You may let others into thinking that it doesn't bother you that much but I know you and I am lying next to you at night, I feel you tossing and turning, talking softly and sometimes you squeeze me so hard it almost hurts. But because we are like, 5000 miles away from her, you know that the threat is truly gone now, and that gives your body the opportunity to fully relax. And it did. You needed this, darling."

"Sounds logical." you say.

Tom then pulls you towards him and kisses you before he leans back.

"And now eat, so that the little one inside you can grow strong."


	27. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So after I post this chapter I am taking my laptop to the shop because I have a little problem receiving emails, namely....I don't receive them....so I hope they can fix it but because I have no idea how long that takes I can't guarantee there will be a chapter on Wednesday.....

During dinner you are watching some show on TV when Tom suddenly speaks.

"I called Mom, told her that we have arrived safely in the apartment, and uh .... I told her that you're pregnant."

"Yeah? What did she say?" you ask and lean forward.

"She was very elated, I think she screamed for, like five minutes." he smiles.

"Really?"

"Yes, and then I had to promise her that I don't leave you alone longer than is strictly necessary and that I should take very good care of you."

"And did you do that?"

"Of course, she threatened that if I do not she would personally come here to take care of you."

"That's sweet of her," you say, and lean back again, "was she also that caring when Emma was pregnant?"

"Yes, she came every other day, sometimes driving Emma to madness," he laughs, "but she meant well and Emma knew that so she and Dean let her."

"Of course."

Then he looks at you while he chews on a piece of meat.

"What?" you ask.

"I also called my dad," he says, "I think that he has the right to know that he is becoming a grandfather again. I hope you do not mind."

"No, no of course not."

"I was expecting it to be an uncomfortable and short call, but we have talked with each other an hour."

"Really? About what?"

Tom coughs once and sets his container on the table to turn himself to you.

"A lot of things. When I told him that you are here as well and most likely will be alone during the day he suggested to come here, taking a hotel room somewhere near so you can see him when you have the need."

"He did?" you ask surprised.

In the years that you know Tom you have only seen James at family party's and you have only talked a couple of times to each other. During that talks however you very quickly realized he was a very handsome and charming man and you have observed him, all smiles and courtesy, talking to every one there, showing interest in them and he even made some of the women blush from time to time and you smiled at that, realizing how much Tom takes after his father. All in all he seemed to be a nice man but your still surprised by his suggestion.

"Yeah, maybe it's not such a bad idea, he can go with you to seek out furniture for our new house." Tom suggests.

"Yes, he can."

"And maybe to seek out some things for the future nursery."

"Oh, maybe we have to wait a while with that, there are still a lot of things that can go wrong before I'm in my second trimester, baby."

"Hey, do not say that, do not even think it," he reaches for your container and sets it away to pull you sideways on his lap and he places his hands on your stomach, "this child will fine because I'm here to take care of you, I'll make sure that you eat and sleep enough and that you get your vitamins. "

"Vitamins?"

"While you were sleeping I did some research and you need certain vitamins to ensure that the baby remains healthy and growing."

"Wow, you're really into this, aren't you." you say admiringly.

"Of course, I want this baby more than anything, so I need you to be healthy."

"I do not know what to say."

"Just thank you sufficient."

"Thank you." you smile and give him a kiss.

"So, about my father, I know you do not really know him, and you know I do not really have a relationship with him, but I think it's a good idea. It gives me the peace of mind that you are not alone and us the opportunity to build a relationship with him."

"I want to get to know him better."

"Good, because I have already said that it was okay, he 'll probably arrive somewhere tomorrow in the ealry afternoon."

"Well then we'll see him tomorrow, I guess."

You give Tom a kiss before you sit back on the couch and eat further. After half an hour Tom decided to go to bed, he will be picked up tomorrow at eight o'clock and it will be a busy day, costumes fitting, meeting the rest of the cast. You clean up the containers and put the dirty cutlery into the dishwasher before you go to bed.

The next morning you wake up with a kiss on your lips, you open your eyes and see that Tom is sitting on the edge of the bed, already fully dressed.

"What time is it?" you ask.

"Almost eight o'clock, the car can be here any minute."

"I'm gonna miss you."

"I'm going to miss you too, I'll call you when I can, okay?"

"Okay, today I'm going to see if I can find a gynecologist for an ultrasound."

"Good idea, let me know when, I'll tell Guillermo today what the situation is so he is prepared."

"Sure. I hope you don't get into trouble with him because of this."

"Don't worry about that and besides, he has two kids so if he does, I hope I can play into his fahter side." he says. 

"Oh your evil."

"Yeah well, my character is evil too, I am just trying to get into him." he says defensively.

"Good luck and have fun, okay?"

"Oh that's easy," he laughs and comes forward to give your stomach a kiss and then presses one on your forehead,"go back to sleep, darling."

It is not long before you sleep again and when you wake up the next time it's already after ten, you stand up and walk to the kitchen to make coffeewhen you suddenly realize that caffeine is not good for the baby and you sigh, you walk to the refrigerator to get some juive, empty. Of course it is empty and you make the mental note that you also need to find a supermarket to buy some food. In order to have something in your stomach, you pick up a container with Chinese from yesterday and warm it up in the microwave. While you are eating your phone beeps and you see that you have a message from Tom. You open it and it says that his father arrives mid afternoon and is staying in the Continental Hotel, three blocks away from you. After your 'breakfast' you grab your laptop and open it and while it starts up you walk into the bedroom to get dressed. 

When your back behind your laptop you first look at your mail and you see that you have an email from Sarah. You frown your eyebrows and wonder why she would send an email and when you open it you are immediately confronted with a colorful baby card and you smile.

_"Hi y/n, you're probably wondering how I got your address and how do I know you're pregnant, well, for both I refer you to Mom. She called me almost out of bed to tell that she is becoming grandmother again and my thought automatically went to Emma so when Mom told me that you are pregnant with Tom I was immediately fully awake because as far as I knew you were not even together. Although it doesn't surprise me, the sparingly times I have seen you together it was more than abundantly clear, you are made for each other, I can not imagine a better and more beautiful couple than you and my little brother, and your child will be the most beautiful baby in the world and the most lucky one with you and Tom as parents, y/n. I know it is still very very early and I hope you can forgive my mom that she told me she was just so happy for you and I, of course, am also very thankfull. I hope that the pregnancy is progressing smoothly and that you soon come to Chennai, I'd love to see you again. Loving greetings, Sarah and Yakov. "_

You smile and remember that you would also like to see Sarah again, the last time was so long ago that you do not even remember when it was. You look again to another name, Yakov, which is probably her husband. You decide to send the mail to Tom so he can read it and then look to see if you can find a hospital nearby. It turns out that there is a hospital, St. Michael's Hospital, and a mall, Eaton Centre, on a 10 minute drive from you and you decide to go to the mall first, there is probably also a supermarket. You put on your shoes and walk to the door and when you open it your suddenly face to face with James.

"James." you say surprised.

"Hi, y/n, I'd probably should have called first instead of catching you off guard like this."

"Oh, no, no it does not, uh .... I just wanted to go shopping and go to the hospital."

"Hospital?" he asks and looks at your stomach and then back to you, "are you okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine, I just want to find a gynecologist as soon as possible to have an ultrasound."

"Oh, good, you had me startled there for a moment." he laughs.

"Uhm .... we had expected you this afternoon."

"I could get an earlier flight." he explains.

"Will you come in?"

"I do not want to keep you ..."

"Nonsense, please ....." you say and take a step back to let him in but then you remember,"you know what? Why do not you go with me? I have absolutely nothing in the house to offer you."

"Very well." he says and lets you step outside.

You walk to the lift and when you get to the car you slap your hand to your head.

"Forgot the carkeys."

"I already thought the Jaguar was yours." James says, smiling.

"I told Tom that it was not really necessary but he insisted, for the little one."

"He's right, children are a gift, not everyone is allowed to have them so when you're pregnant you should cherish it and do whatever you can to keep it safe."

"I know." you say.

"Come, we'll go with my car."

You walk to his car and he walks quickly to keep the door open for you and you thank him while you get in. After James gets in too he looks at you.

"Where too?"

"Erm, according to what I found the Eaton Centre is the closest, I believe that way." you say and point to a direction.

"Okay, then, let's see if we can find it," he says and starts to car to drive away,"you know, I wasn't at all suprised when Tom called me yesterday to tell me your together now, the only thing that suprised me was that it took both of you so long before you admitted it to each other."

"God why does every one keep saying that?" you sigh.

"Because every one probably knew, it was so obvious" he answers,"so, when did it happen?"

"About eight weeks ago. There was water damage in the Donmar so they had 3 days off so he showed up at my door and, well..."

"And already pregnant?" he asks and you look at him.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, just that....well, it's a little fast but considering the fact that you have been denying your feelings for each other for two years it doesn't surprise me that it happened so fast."

"Yes well, a lot happend in those eight weeks." you say softly.

James looks at you, eyebrows raised.

"Should I be worried?"

"You know what? I haven't had a proper breakfast so why don't we get lunch somewhere and I will tell you all about it."

"Sure, I think we are here anyway."

You look outside and see the mall, it's bigger than you thought and James drives into the parking garage to park the car. Together you walk into the mall and you look around.

"Wow." you breathe.

"Not used to big shopping centers?"

"Are you crazy? I was born and raised in York, the biggest thing we have is the Art Museum, and that fits in here like ten times, probably even more. For a Monday morning it is very busy though."

"Take my arm, so we will avoid losing each other."

You hook your arm through James' and together you walk through the mall, when you walk past a cafe you decide to go inside and have some lunch. While eating you tell everything that happened and when you are done, he grabs your hand across the table and looks at you with compassion.

"I'm so sorry that you had to go through that," he says and you see the sincerity in his eyes, "they are still trying to find her?"

"Thank you, I'm just happy and relieved that we are now far away from her, and yes, they continue to search until they have her. That's also the reason I came with Tom. I also felt safe at Emma and Dean's of course but to be honest the safest place I can imagine is next to Tom and he was also the only one who managed to get me to calm down again."

"Of course, you are the most important thing in his life, you and the little one in your stomach. I do not know my son is as good as I'd like but I know just aswell as you that he will give anything to ensure you safety."

"I know he will," you say and then look at him,"can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"Why did you come here?"

James smiles and wipes his mouth with his napkin, he leans back and looks at you.

"When Diana and I got divorced, I handled it the wrong way, instead of talking with the children together about what was going on, I packed my bags and left, Sarah and Emma were at home so they have had some explanation but Tom .... he was at boarding school, when he went there everuthing was fine but when he came back after a few years I was gone, without explanation, without telling anything. I thought to myself, I will wait for him to come to me with questions, but he never came and by the time I realized that I was the one who had left and so was the one who should have taken responsibility, I tried to contact him but he didn't wanted to talk to me. "

"Why not?"

"I do not know, I do not know what his mother told him."

"Do you think his mother has spoken ill of you?"

"No, Tom has always been very close with Diana, I understood that he chose her side. On the few family gatherings where we were together he avoided me also at first until he suddenly stood before me with a look of 'bring it on, give it your best shot'. I've tried to explain to him that we had grown apart, that we didn't saw each other as the person with whom we got married all those years ago, we were accustomed to each other, we took each other for granted but, well, he was just a teenager, they do not understand that. The only thing they see is that their home falls apart and they begin to question everything. Like I said, I have dealt with it totally wrong and now I try to make amends. As I grow older I also realized that family is everything and moreover, you being here is just a plus for me, you are a very important part of Tom's life, in eight months you will be the mother of his child and I know it is only a matter of time before he asks you to marry him so this seemed like a good opportunity and i am very gratefull you both allowed me to come. But I want you to know that I do not want to intrude on your time together, I will keep my distance so you and Tom can also spent time alone."

"Thank you, that is very thoughtfull of you and we both are very glad your here." you say and smile at him.

"Well, if you are done eating, why don't we go see if we can find some furniture for your new home."

The rest of the afternoon is spent visiting furniture stores and because you think Tom should see it too you take photos of everything but in the end you realize that it are simply too many pictures and that he just has to come with you when he has the time. By the end of the afternoon, James brings you to the hospital where you make an appointment with a gynecologist to do an ultrasound and before you say goodbye they give you some vitamins for the baby. Then you go to a supermarket to get some vegetables fruit and juice and a Jameson for Tom. By the time you return to your apartment, it is already five o'clock.

"Thank you for today." you say to him.

"Thank you too, I found it very nice to spend time with you."

"Will you eat with us tonight?"

"No, I'd better not, it was Tom's first day on the set, he will be very tired seeing he is not used to such long days anymore, I see him some other time, tell him hello from me. Whenever you have a need for company you know where to find me. "he says.

He hesitates a little, unsure how he should say goodbye to you, but you take the initiative and come forward to give him a kiss on his cheek, making him smile softly.

"Bye, James."

"Goodbye, y/n."


	28. chapter 29

The time you have left before Tom comes home you use to clean up the groceries and when you're done you hear the front door open. You walk out of the kitchen and see how Tom enters the living room and you have to admit that James was right. His shoulders sag slightly forward and his steps are short and when his searching eyes meet yours, you see the fatigue in them. Though instead of falling face forward in bed or on the couch his eyes light up and he comes to you. He takes you in his arms and you let yourself be pressed against him while he pushes his nose in your hair.

"God, I missed you so much." he breathes in your neck.

You smile and answer the embrace. When you let go you look at him.

"Must have been a tiring day." you say.

"Dead tiring," he replies with a sigh, "but also great, the set is incredible, the house insane and the cast is so good."

"Why do you not sit on the couch I will bring you a Jameson with some ice."

"Oh, that sounds heavenly, darling." he says.

He gives you another kiss and then walks to the couch while you walk into the kitchen again and pour his drink for him. When you walk into the living room again, you see that he is slumped in the couch and you put his drink on the table.

"Come here." you say and open your arms for him.

Tom let's himself slide on his side and lays his head in your lap, gently you slip your fingers through his hair and then you see it.

"You dyed your hair."

"I told you that Guillermo would approve."

"Yes you did."

You come forward to press a kiss on his forehead and then lean back into the couch again, letting you fingers weave through his hair again and sometimes you give them a little tug, making him close his eyes and a soft moan escapes his lips

"I spent today with your father." you say.

"Yeah? How was that?"

"Well, it was nice, he was nice to me."

"That's good to hear."

"We talked about you. "

"Already gossiping, aren't you?" he asks with a fond smile.

"We were not gossiping, he just explained to me what happened after he left and how difficult things were between the two of you and that he wants to spent time with you to make your relationship beter. But because he must have known that you will work during the day and he has to do with me mostly I just wanted to know why he offered to come here."

"What did he say?"

"He wants to get to know me too because I'm a very important part of your life and in about eight months I will put your child, and his grandchild, into the world, and that it is probably a matter of time before you ask me to marry you. "

"You talked about marriage?" he asks.

"Well, not really talked about it, only the word came up."

"But that is what you want eventually?"

"Doesn't every one?"

Tom opens his eyes and looks at you.

"Would you say yes if I asked you?"

"Only one way to find out, is there not?" you say and smile.

"Yeah, I guess."

He clears his throat and gets up to take his drink and take a sip and you can't help but be a little disappointed that he pushes aside the subject of marriage so easily and you lay your hands in your lap.

"So, uh .... do you talk to a gynecologist?" he asks.

"Yes, Wednesday, four o'clock." you say without looking at him.

"I'll pick you up so we can go together." he says.

"Did you tell Guillermo about me?" you ask.

"Yeah I did and furtunatly I didn't have to bring his kids up, he was happy for me and he gives me all the freedom I need to support you and be with you if you need me."

"That's nice of him." you say, looking up at Tom.

Tom then reaches into his jacket for his phone and goes to the pictures. When he holds it up you see a man with half long dark hair and clothing that looks as if it was worn in the Victorian era..........

"O god, seriously? This is you?"

"Yes, meet sir Thomas Sharpe." he says.

"Wow, you look hot."

"You think so?" he asks, a little hesitant.

"Yes, really I do, you have more?" you ask and already reach for the phone.

He let's you take it and you scroll through the pictures, one even more beautiful then the other and after some time you lick your lips making him reach over, taking your hand to pull you up.

"Okay, that's enough with drooling over 'some one else," he says,"I want to show you something." he says.

You let yourself be guided to the balcony and when Tom slides open the door and walks outside you silently follow him. Then he stands still and puts you in front of him, your fingers curl over the railing and Tom's hands are next to yours, then you hear his voice close to your ear.

"Look up."

You look up and your eyes see the lake in front of you just at the moment that the sunset takes place and a brilliant red glow spreads over the lake.

"It's beautiful." you say and you lean forward to see it better.

"Not as beautiful as you."

You feel his lips in you neck and you turn your head to give him more space while his arms slide around your waist and he pulls you against him. You smile and you bite your lip when you feel his hot breath go over your ear and he bites in your earlobe. His hands move towards your hips to grip them.

"I thought you were tired?"

"Never too tired to please you." is the answer and you shiver.

You turn around in his arms and seal your lips in an intense kiss, your arms go around his neck and his arms slide down so he can grab your thighs and he lifts you up. Carefully he walks inside with you while he keeps kissing you all the way to the bedroom where he puts you down, he slowly takes off your shirt and pushes you backwards. You can feel the edge of the bed in your knees and while falling backwards you grab Tom's shirt and pull him with you and he kiss your neck, between your breasts and eventually your stomach. Then he leans back slightly and looks at the fingers that gently caress your belly while your eyes remain focused on his bright blue's. There appears a tender and loving look in his eyes and you know he thinks about the baby growing in your belly, his baby and it elicits a smile from your lips.

"It's unbelievable" he murmurs suddenly, "that under my fingers life grows, so small so fragile. Dependent on us, on you to be safe and to grow big and strong. You once told me that the safest place you know is in my arms, "he says and looks at you," but for this little one your belly is the safest place. "

You frame his face with your hands and pull him up to kiss him. During the kiss he pulls you up and he begins to undress you further and when you're naked in front of him, it is your turn to undress him. He puts an arm around you while the other arm holds up the blanket. You crawl into bed to be followed by Tom who immediately snakes his arm around your waist to draw you against him. Your hand is lying flat on his chest while his lips claim yours and you feel his heartbeat as he curls a hand in your knee and hoists your leg over his waist. You feel how hard he is and you moan into his mouth while you roll your hips forward. You feel his tip move over your slit and he scrapes lightly over your clit making your head fall backwards and Tom's lips move to your neck and he bites gently into your shoulder. You raise your leg slightly further and tilt your hips, giving Tom a chance to enter you but he holds back and you whine. Tom lets his arm go under your leg and pushes it further up so he can let his tip enter you and he buries his face in your neck.

"Tom ... please ...."

You try to move your hips, looking for friction but the way he is holding you prevents it and you whimper softly.

"Please what?" he asks and kisses your neck.

"Please just..... _please....._ "

"Say the magic word."

"Tho.. _oh_..."

His name changes into a long stretched out groan when he moves his hips in a short sharp push forward but then stops again.

"Thomas ...." your breath.

"Hmm, sounds so sexy when you say it, darling."

Before you can do anything he rolls his hips forward in firm strokes, each time hitting your deepest pleasure spot and you feel his hand on your cheek.

"Keep looking at me."

You nod and feel the hand go down, he caresses your breast and squeezes your nipple while his eyes hold yours captured with a look of pure adoration and your breath falters in your throat. You place your hands on his chest while and his eyes wander down over your body and then back up slowly until he finds your eyes again.

"You, my darling, are so beautiful, so perfect."

You feel his hand go to your buttock and he squeezes with every thrust and soon they begin to falter, you feel your climax approaching and after he again thrust hard and deep you fall over the edge together. Your strecth your arms, eyes closed, back arching and you shiver when you feel lips closing around your nipple en biting softly. You slowly open your eyes and meet dark blue intens ones, he smiles at you and his hand slides up over your leg and curls around your back drawing you close to him. You allow him to tuck your head beneath his chin and one hand tangles in your hair while the other moves over your back. He keeps up his ministrations untill you fall asleep in his arms.

When you wake up it is still dark in the bedroom and you immediately miss the warmth and safety of two arms that normally hold you close. You turn your head and see the place next to you is empty and you sit upright, the clock tells you that it is half past twelve in the morning. You slip out of bed and pull Tom's shirt on because it is longer than yours and comes halfway your thighs. You close a few buttons and walk to the room, when you're in the doorway your eyes fall on a shadow that looks outside the window and you see he is eating the chinese from yesterday. Leaning against the door frame you look at him for a moment, except his jeans he wears nothing and your eyes glide over the muscles in his arms that move when he brings the sticks to his mouth and your eyes slide down his muscled chest that you can see reasonably well by the moonlight that falls on it. Also illuminated by the moonlight is his face and you study his profile, feeling a smile on your lips when he turns and his eyes find yours.

"Hey." he says.

"Hey." you reply.

You walk towards him and almost feel yourself blush under his intens stare that moves down your body and back up again. When you reach him he leans in to kiss you.

"You look sexy in my shirt."

"Thank you," you giggle,"it's nice to wear them, they sit comfortably and they smell like you."

He smiles and holds up the container.

"You want some?"

"Sure."

He picks up a piece of meat with chopsticks and you lean forward to take it in your mouth and Tom waits patiently until you have swallowed it before he feeds you a second and then a third piece. With the last piece a string of taugé is left on your lips but before you can wipe it away Tom ducks down to bring your lips together in an intense kiss. After the kiss he puts away the container and gathers you against him. You spread out your fingers on his back while you turn your head and suddenly take a nipple between your teeth and gently tug at it. You can hear his breath hitch in his throat and his fingers press into your skin while your lips make a path to his other nipple that you give the same treatment. When it is hard and sensitive your hands shift foward and your fingers curl around the waistbaind of his pants, turning him and pushing him against the wall.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

You look up and see the blue of his eyes has become darker and you keep looking at him while you take his nipple in your mouth again. You let your hands make quick work of his button and zipper and let one hand slip in and lightly you caress his shaft. You close your eyes and moan and you smile around his nipple when you hear Tom moan softly in his throat. Before he can do anything you fall on your knees and pull his jeans down, looking up at him through your lashes with cheeky eyes when you see that he does not wear a boxer. One of your hands gently cover his balls and the other takes the base of his shaft firmly while the tip slips through your lips and your tongue scrapes over the slit. Tom let his head fall back against the wall and his hands are flat against the wall, fingers bent.

"God ... so good ..." he sighs.

You let him go a little further in your mouth while your tongue moves around lazy and you hollow your cheeks to suck hard.

"Fuck ...."

You feel his fingers go into your hair and cautiously he begins to steer you while he rolls his hips forward, but his grip in your hair is loose enough to determine your own pace. You pull his foreskin down and let your tongue past through the slit, his hips buck forward and he whines softly in his throat. Your hand massage his balls and then moves further down and while your finger gently moves across his perineum your head moves faster up and down on his shaft and each time your tongue scrapes through his slit. Every few times you suck hard and when you feel his grip strengthen on your hair and his breathing becomes agitated are you know that he is close. He's trying to pull you up but you resist and then he tries to squirm away to avoid that he cums in your mouth but you push him against the wall and double your movements. It is not long before you feel long white streaks sliding in your mouth and down your throat and you swallow everything he has to give. You pump his shaft slowly until it is empty and his upper body hangs over you. You kiss his thighs, feeling the muscles twitch under you and eventually he pulls you up to kiss you long, slow and deep.

"God, those lips.....that tongue.....just the thought of...."

"Of what?" you question and kiss his neck.

"That someone else has enjoyed it...."

"Does that make you jealous?"

"Yes, terribly jealous. It's mine, you're mine, all of you belongs to me."

"Everything, forever."

Tom kisses your forehead before he steps out of his pants and lifts you up to take you to the bedroom where he lays in you bed and lies next to you curling an arm around you to pull you as close to him as he can but you take his hand to losen it making you able to turn and look at him. For a moment he indulges you but eventually he frowns his eyebrow.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing, I just....sometimes I still can't believe it."

"Can't believe what?"

"This, us, you returning my feelings."

"I've always returned your feelings."

"I know, I only wish I had known earlier."

"Would you have jumped me immediately?" he asks.

"As soon as the opportunity presented itself."

He smiles and takes your hand to press a kiss on it.

"And this is also pretty unbelievable still." you say and lay his hand on your stomach making you both smile but when yours disappears he tilts his head.

"Anything else?"

"Your father .... he said something."

"What?" he asks.

You hear the reluctance in his voice and look at him.

"It is quick, I mean, we just got together 8 weeks prior and I'm already pregnant of you."

His arm snakes around your waist and he pulls you to him, he gives you a kiss in your neck and sighs again.

"Yes, it is quickly but when you put in front that I have wanted you for two years, that I have dreamt having you in my life for two years..... it is not fast."

"No, when you think of that it's not, I guess," you say,"you think that if we would have gotten together back then we would have a little one running around already?"

"Are you kidding me? Probably two with a third one on the way."

You laugh and look at him.

"Three in two years? Isn't that a bit much?"

"Well, I don't know, how long do you have to wait after giving birth to a child? Like 4 weeks?"

"Depends on how it went I guess."

"So if there were no problems let's say four weeks, so after not having sex with you for four whole horrible awfull weeks I'd be so full of pent up testosterone and passion and lust and desire you'd probably be pregnant again like, really fast."

"Well, if it's so hard for you to keep your hands off of me maybe I should start wearing these really big clothes after to hide myself and not tempt you."

"Darling, you tempt me even by talking on the phone with me, it's a lost cause, really."

You chuckle and lay your head against his chest listening to his steady heartbeat and feel his fingers move over your back softly to lull you to sleep.


	29. Chapter 30

The next time you wake up you wish you hadn't, your head feels heavy and when you lay your hand against it you sigh with relief when it's not warm. Also your stomach rumbles but you have absolutely no appetite. Even stranger; you have an itching all over your body and your fingers scratch your skin. You sit up and it feels like a bowling ball rolls back and forth in your head. You slowly slide off the bed and walk to the bathroom half asleep, your hands turn on the tap and you wet your face while you are leaning forward. Slowly you come up and let your wet cold hands go over your face and they slip through your hair. When you open your eyes you almost jump when you see Tom suddenly standing behind you and with a jerk turn around.

"Sorry I missed you next to me."

He looks at you and immediately sees something is wrong. He reaches his hands out to you and one slides around your waist and the other cups the back of your head to lay it against his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"I have a headache."

"I would give you an aspirin but I do not know if that is wise in combination with pregnancy."

"And an itching all over my body."

You immediately feel his fingers scratch your back and you squirm in his arms.

"Oh, that feels so good." you sigh.

Tom chuckles and scratches your sides making you push him off playfully to look at him.

"That tickles." you say.

"Sorry, I'm just trying to help," he says and keep his hands up, "itching somewhere else?"

"My stomach, especially my stomach."

Tom falls to his knees in front of you and one hand snakes around your waist and the other scratches your stomach, your fingers slip into his hair and you watch how he kisses your stomach under the scratching. Suddenly you push him away and it comes so suddenly that he nearly topples over onto the tiles and you run to the toilet to fall on your knees when you start gagging and the pieces of Chinees come out. Before you know it Tom is on his knees beside you and brings you hair in a pony tail with one hand while the other moves over your back. When you gag again, the contraction in your stomach is so strong that you keel over and feel tears in your eyes, vaguely you feel Tom's nose nudging in your neck and you are grateful for him trying to distract you. You breathe with difficulty and superficial.

"It's okay, just breath, darling, I'm here with you, I got you."

You have to gag one more time and you remain sitting there untill your breathing is back to normal and you sag against the wall, making your hair slip out of Tom's hand and it frames your face. You wrap your arms around your stomach and pull your knees up. Tom sits in front of you, still on his knees and carresses your legs, frowning.

"You okay now?"

"Yes I think so. Thank you." you whisper.

"I'm sorry." he says.

You smile and look at him.

"This is not your fault." you say.

"Is it not? I made you pregnant." He shrugs.

"Yes, that is so," you have to agree,"God, my head hurts so much and it seems there are little ants running around under my skin." you say and scratch your arms and abdomen.

"Anything I can do?" Tom says and you hear the almost pleading tone in his voice.

"No, no, just.....help me up."

You stretch out your hands and he helps you up only to lift you bridal style and to carry you to the bed, slowly he lowers you and he crawls in next to you. He turns you around and his arm moves around your waist to pull you close while the other cups the back of your head, weaving his fingers through your hair, massaging your scalp.

"Hmm, keep doing that, feels nice."

Tom smiles and kisses your head but the headache remains for the entire night and your stomach keeps making soft noises that keep you up and when the first rays of light shine through the curtain you finally feel yourself drifting off to sleep untill the alarm clock goes off not much later and you jerk awake making Tom groan. You feel him shift beside you to turn it out and when he lies back he looks at you, tilting your head with his finger.

"Did you sleep at all?" he asks.

"No, not much."

Your arms slip around his waist and his go around your shoulders and he presses a kiss to your head.

"I'm sorry, how is your headache?"

"Better, itching is gone."

"That's good," he says and then lifts you up,"I have to get up."

"I know." you sigh.

Reluctantly, he lets you go to sit on the edge of the bed and he stretches himself out and then walks to the bathroom to shower. You hear him rummaging in the bathroom and it makes you oddly sleepy and not much later you fall asleep. Vaguely you feel two lips on your forehead but you're too tired to open your eyes.

When you open them again it is to run to the bathroom and gag into the toilet. After a few minutes you fall on the tiles and you remain seated like that. The itching is also back and your fingers scratch over your arms, legs and stomach. Slowly you get up and walk to the living room. You pick up a glass of water and drink it empty at once, your hand goes to your head and you rub it for a moment. When your eye falls on the clock, you see that it is one o'clock in the afternoon and you decide to lie with a blanket on the couch. You pull on a shirt of Tom and drag a blanket to the couch to snuggle while watching some TV. Then you hear the ring tone of your mobile and you pick it up. In addition to a message from Tom, you see that you have two other messages but first you open Tom's.

"Hi, darling, I hope you got some sleep after I've left and that you feel better. I'll be back as soon as possible, with much love, Tom.

Then you open the next.

"Hi, y/n, Tom called me this morning to tell me that you've barely slept last night because you have a headache and something with ants ...? I hope you have now caught up on some sleep and you feel better again, when you need something or just want to hear a friendly voice, call me, James.

You smile and open the following,

"Hey beautiful lady, sorry to hear you're not feeling well, Elsa has also all experienced this, just hang in there, it will pass, really. Well, a big kiss and I hope you feel better soon, Chris.

Chris is such a sweetheart and you consider yourself lucky to have a friend like him, when you want to put down your phone, it goes off and you pick it up without looking at it.

"Hello?" you say.

"Hey, honey, it's me, Elsa."

"Elsa, hey, how are you?"

"Better than you, I hear." she replies.

"News travels fast."

"Tom is just worried about you, he wanted to know if it happened to me too so suddenly."

"Did it?"

"Yes, one moment, there is nothing wrong and the next you are hanging above the toilet, I know all about it. He told me that you had an itch too?"

"Yes, all over my body and especially my belly." you say, and slide your fingers over your belly.

"Also very normal, your body changes and your belly stretches to make room for the baby, which may be accompanied by itching, nothing to worry about. Say, do you still have to vomit?"

"Yes, just now."

"Honey, will you promise me something?"

"Sure."

"Keep eating, even when you can not stand the smell, eat a piece of fruit or something, it is important that you continue to eat and when you have to vomit a lot then make sure you get plenty of water. It is important that your child is receiving nutrition, especially in the first three months."

"Okay, thank you."

"Sure, but if you do keep vomiting much for like a day, go to the hospital."

"I will do that."

"Good."

"How long will it last?" you ask.

"The nausia? Mostly it ends after your first trimester, your body changes the most then."

"Are you telling me I can be sick for like, another eight weeks?" you ask.

"It can be but it can also stop tomorrow, hun." she answers.

"Arg, I hate being pregnant." you grumble.

"No you don't, just think about what you will get in return."

"Yes, broken nights and poo dypers and screaming...."

"And a lot of love, sweetie, trust me, as soon as you hold that little baby in your arms you know it was worth it."

"Was it like that for you?"

"Yes, and so much more, the first time Chris held her I just couldn't stop looking, there was that big strong rugged man that turned into a puddle of goo by a little baby girl. Just picture Tom holding that little bundle in his arms."

"God, he's going to look so sexy." you say, voice sounding a bit dreamy.

Elsa laughs and you feel yourself blushing.

"Sorry."

"Don't be, that was my though when I saw Chris holding India. If Tom is anyhting like Chris he will feel awful when you hang above the toilet and he can't do anything for you. So just let him take care of you when you feel like crap, let him pamper you, let him spoil you, at least that way it gives him the feeling he can do something to relieve your mood. He needs to know you still need him and he needs you to know you don't have to do this alone, you made that little one together, your in this together."

"Okay, I will."

Have you made an appointment with a gynecologist yet?"

"Tomorrow four o'clock."

"Good and Tom will go with you?"

"Yes, he told Guillermo what is going on and he gives Tom all the freedom to be with me when needed."

"That's good of him, you let me know how it went?"

"Sure, thank you for your call, Elsa."

"Always, just remember that you can always call me if you have any questions, darling."

"I will, bye."

"Bye!"

After you have hanged up you go lie under the blanket and you try to concentrate on the TV but soon your eyes drop and when you open them again you look in two bright blue eyes who look at you worried.

"Hey." you say.

You sit upright but at that moment you feel a cramp shoot through your stomach and your hands go there.

"What? What is it?" Tom asks, concern clearly heared in his voice.

"Cramp." your breath.

"Lie down."

Tom helps you to lie down and he sits down next to the couch, one of his hands slips under the blanket and caresses your bare belly and the other caresses your cheek. Leaning against the touch you close your eyes until the cramp has past and the then you look at him.

"Is it gone?" he asks.

"Yes, it's gone."

"Can I do anything for you? Would you like something to eat?"

You frown your eybrows and think for a moment.

"Do we have soup?"

"I don't think so, but I can get soup for you if you want." he says and is already standing up.

"No, no, you do not have to go out and get me soup." you say quickly.

"Honey," he says and sits down before you again, "if you want like soup then I will get you soup, okay?"

"Okay." you mumble.

There is this little supermarket down the street, it will only take me a couple of minutes."

Tom kisses you and then grabs his coat and keys and walks out the door to come back barely fifteen minutes later and finds you in the same place where he left you. He walks into the kitchen to heat up the soup and eventually he walks with a tray into the room. When he places it on the table, you see that next to the two bowls of soup, there are also some pieces bread and you smile. Tom sits next to you and lays the blanket over his legs and he you moves towards you.

"Come here." he says

He leans to you to give you a kiss. Your hands go in his hair letting your fingers play with the curls and he hums satisfied in his throat while his arm goes around your waist to pull you against him. After the kiss he looks at you smiling.

"Let's eat." he says and gives you a bowl of soup.

It's the first thing you eat in a day and a half and it's delicious with the bread and content you put the bowl back on the table. You shift position slightly with your legs under your body and your head rests on the backrest of the couch while you watch Tom eat his soup.

"Elsa called today."

"She did?" he asked, trying to sound surprised.

"She told me that you called her, you were worried."

"Yeah, sorry, I don't know ...."

"It's okay, I get it, and so did she. And your father and Chris sent text messages."

"That's sweet of them."

"How was your day?" you ask.

"Well, we could do a lot, I'm was late because I have to leave early tomorrow to take you to the doctor."

When Tom is done with his soup, he leans back and puts his arm over the back of the couch while he looks at you.

"Come here." he says.

You slide forward and feel his arms immediately around your body to draw you against him in a protective embrace.

"This film is incredible, it's bigger than any movie I've ever worked on, the sets are larger, everyone actor has at least five people to take care of them in between takes. I wish I could show you the house one day, you would love it. "

You hum against his chest before you look up at him.

"Maybe you can sneak me in sometime."

Tom laughs and caresses your cheek with his finger.

"Yeah, maybe. I will ask Guillermo if he finds it okay if I take you one day."

Your head is situated on his shoulder and his fingers gently caress your side.

"I received a call today from Jeremy Thomas, a British producer."

"For a film?"

"Yes, it's called High Rise and Jeremy wants me to play the lead role, a young doctor by the name of Robert Laing, I don't now a lot of the story but there seems to be a book of it so I think I'm going to buy it soon."

"When is it filmed?"

"He hopes some time in July, at the seaside resort of Bangor on the east coast of Northern Ireland."

Upon hearing Northern Ireland you look up at him, pleasantly surprised.

"That's not so far away from London."

"Fortunately not, you'll be five months pregnant by then and honestly I want to stay near you until the baby is born."

"That would be nice," you say, placing your head on his shoulder again,"the shooting for this film last until May, right?"

"Yes, if all goes well until about mid May."

"So, we could go somewhere in June."

"I suppose, where do you want to go?"

You shrug and play with a button of his shirt.

"Well, I was thinking along the lines of India?" you say softly.

"You want to go to Sarah?" he asks, smiling.

"Well, she is your sister and the only one of your family I don't really know and she did sent me such a sweet email after I told her I am pregnant."

"Hmm, that's true. Okay, if you are feeling good enough, I will take you to India." he promises.

Suddenly you squeeze your eyes shut and you push your face in his chest, his arms tighten their grip around your body.

"Another cramp?" he asks, and you hear the concern in his voice, "we have to ask the doctor about that tomorrow."

You nod and then feel how he carefully let's go of you.

"I'm just going to rinse the bowls and then I'll take you to bed okay?"

"Okay."

Tom walks off to the kitchen and when he returns after rinsing the bowls the only thing on the couch is the blanket.

"Y/N?" He says and looks around, "y/n?"

He walks to the bedroom but your not there either, then he walks to the bathroom to find you hunched over the toilet, he kneels down beside you and looks into the toilet to the soup and some pieces of bread. When you feel his hand running over your back you look up at him and his eyes look sadly when he sees your tears. He leans forward to kiss them away.

Tom lets an arm slip around your waist and an arm goes under your knees and he comes up slowly, you put your arms in your lap and your head against his shoulder as he walks into the bedroom and lays you down in bed. Then he undresses and lies down next to you, he draws you to him and lets his arm slide around your waist to caress your belly and you place yours over it to intertwine them together.


	30. Chapter 31

When Tom comes to pick you up the next day for the doctor's appointment you are standing downstairs waiting for him and you get in. He gives you a kiss and looks at you searchingly.

"How are things?"

"Good, no headaches, and sometimes itching but not as bad. The cramps are a little less."

"Good."

He drives away and soon you arrive at the hospital. Tom gestures that you have to remain in the car so he can walk around it and can help you out. He wears a hoodie and leather jacket as not to be recognized and it seems to work. When the doctor comes to get you for the appointment you walk in and after she introduced herself she gestures you can already lie down on the table. Tom sits in the chair next to you and the doctor gathers the equipment. You shift a little you are is so comfortable and while the doctor lays your shirt up and reveals your stomach you feel how Tom's fingers curl around yours and you look at him.

"This may feel a little cold." she warns you.

She squeezes some gel from a tube on your stomach and when it comes in contact with your bare belly you shrink.

"Sorry." the doctor says apologetically.

"No, that's okay.

"Well, shall we have a look?"

She rolls the equipment closer and spreads the gel on your stomach to move over it next with the microphone. Immediately you see a gray area with a triangle and your lips form a smile and you squeeze into Tom's hand. You immediately see the little 'blur' but Tom has more difficulty and squeezes his eyes. The doctor sees and smiles.

"Most men do not see it, come a little closer."

Tom stands up and walks to the screen but continues to hold you hand.

"Here, that 'blur' you see that?"

Tom nods and you see the smile on his face.

"That's your baby."

"God, it's so small." Tom says surprised.

"The embryo is only 4 mm long. The brains and spinal are growing and the baby has principles of the future vertebrae. In a while the tail will pull away," the doctor says, pointing to a oblong something,"the basis for stomach, intestines and lungs are also there. "

Tom sits down on the edge of table and listens intently to the doctor, shoulders forward peering at the screen with his baby on it, your baby. You keep silent and Tom suddenly turns around and walks towards you.

"I love you so much, darling." he says.

Before you can do anything further he leans towards and kisses you deeply on your lips, you recoil and lay your free hand against his chest to push him away gently.

"Honey, we're not alone." you say.

"That's not a problem, I see it more often with people who are expecting their first child and see their child." The doctor smiles.

She presses on a button on the device and it starts beeping before she turns herself to you and gives you a clot of paper.

"When you've cleaned your stomach I will be waiting in the room next door."

"Okay."

You pick up the paper, but before you can swipe your belly Tom takes it from you.

"Allow me." he says and takes the cloth from you.

"Tom, I can clean my stomach." you say.

"I know, but well ...." He shrugs and looks at your stomach.

"I'll see you when your ready." the doctor says and walks away.

When you are alone Tom sits down on the table and puts his hands beside your hips, then he leans forward and kisses you belly gently before he lays his cheek against it. You let your fingers slip into his hair and look at him and when he looks up you see tears in his eyes and you pull him up to kiss him.

"You okay?" you ask.

"Yeah, fine, just .... now I have seen our baby and have heard his heart ..... I just can not ... I can not tell you how happy you make me."

You smile and kiss his tears away before he helps you to your feet and together you walk into the next room where the doctor is waiting.

"I saw your name in the papers." She says as you sit down and looks at Tom.

"Yes, we have not really gone public so we would appreciate it if you do not want to talk about this." he says.

"I have a doctor-patient secrecy anyway so I can not say anything and I normally do not do house calls but if you're concerned that you get recognized here I would make an exception." she suggest.

Normally you do not want special treatmend but because Tom is probably going to get more publicity along the way of the shooting it might not be such a bad idea, and you look at him.

"I can take an ultrasound machine with me on my first visit and leave it with you so that I do not always have to take one with me." the doctor continues.

"That would be .... great, thank you." Tom replies.

"No problem, I have your address here. Do you have questions? Any complaints maybe?" she asks and looks at you.

You tell her of your headaches, cramps, itching and vomiting and she listens attentively to you. She says that the itching is normal for the same reasons that Elsa gave you and that you should not worry about that and about the headaches. The vomiting and cramps you have to keep an eye on and if it takes too long you should call her and that you promise. Further she tells you that you have to take your medication and your rest andto listen to your body, especially now, in the first trimester.

"Here, this is for you," she says and hands you a picture of the ultrasound and you take it, "I would like you to see you again in 2 weeks, I will let my assistent call you for an appointment." she says before you say goodbye.

When you get home, you walk to the couch and you sit down, Tom sits down next to you and draws you up against him while you take the picture and you look at it, you feel how he kisses you temple and you smile.

"Hungry?" he asks.

"Yup."

Tom stands up to make some food for you, and while he is busy you call Diana and Emma and when you hang up you take a picture of the echo and sends it to them and you send a message to Sarah. For a response from her, you do not have to wait long, she's over the moon with the first picture of her niece or nephew and you smile. Then you get phone calls from James and Elsa who want to know how it went, and eventually you walk to the kitchen where Tom is almost ready and you hold the phone up.

"Chris wants to talk to you." you say.

Tom smiles and takes the phone from you and you stick the picture of the echo on the fridge. While setting the table in the living room you can hear Tom talking with Chris and you hear the pride in his voice, that nevertheless shakes a bit when he talks about the moment he first saw his baby on the ultrasound. You smile and while the food is ready you place it on the table and you walk into the bathroom to take your medication. When you see the full length mirror, you turn and your hands slide your shirt up to lay your hands on your stomach and you wonder what you look like with a big belly. Then you feel two arms sliding around your waist and fingers which interweave with yours.

"You'll look beautiful with a swollen stomach." he says, reading your thoughts.

"You'll have to wait and see."

"No, I just know it. Come, let's go eat."

He leads you to the kitchen and together you eat and although your not really hungry you try to eat as much as possible for the baby. When your done you settle on the couch to watch some tv untill it's time to go to bed. The four weeks are very uneventfull, the naussia only returns for the mornings now and the itching is practically gone as is your headache but the cramps come at night and they prevent you from sleeping much so you mostly lie in bed untill ten o'clock.

Tom does his best during the nights to comfort you by softly stroking your stomach and when you do have to vomit he stays with you on the bathroomfloor holding your hair and rubbing your back untill it's over to carry you back to bed and crawling in next to you. During one of those nights you wake up with a tremendous urge to eat chocolate ice. You look at Tom who is vast asleep and you wriggle out of his warm embrace. You softly patter into the kitchen and look into the freezer but no ice is in there. You bite your lip and then suddenly your stomach rumbles, you walk back into the bedroom and put on pants, then your shoes. The supermarket on the corner is open 24/7 and you decide to go there, with luck, Tom will not even notice you're gone.

In the supermarket you quickly find what you want and after you have paid you walk back to the apartment again, when you open the door and close it again you turn only to be confronted with Tom pacing in the living room. When he sees you, he looks up and you see the worried look in his eyes.

"Oh God, there you are." he says.

He runs towards you and immediately pulls you into his arms so the ice is dropped on the ground.

"Where were you?" he says and then keeps you at arm's length.

"I ..."

"I woke up and you were gone, I thought you were on the toilet again but you were not and when I couldn't find you in the living room, for God's sake, y/n," then he sees the ice bucket and looks at you, "ice cream? You bought ice cream? Are you crazy to go out in the middle of the night to get ice cream?!"

"Tom, please ..." you say.

You struggle in his grasp making him see that he hurts you and he lets you go instantly.

"I'm sorry, I just ..... when I could not find you, I lost it," he says and frames your face with his hands, "Jesus, y/n." he sighs.

He takes you in his arms again and when he releases you after a few minutes he picks up the ice and holds it up for you.

"Put it in the freezer, I'm not hungry anymore." you say.

Without going saying something you walk to the bedroom and pull off your pants before you go to bed. You understand very well that Tom was worried for you, but he did not have to yell at you or to get hold of you so firm. You curl into yourself and when you feel his arm go around your body, you close your eyes.

"I'm sorry, I did not mean to grab you or yell at you," he says, kissing your shoulder softly,"it's just, when I couldn't find you...I just went crazy with worry."

He kisses your shoulder again and caresses your stomach and you sigh one time, gradually you turn around to look at him.

"I know and I am sorry that I did not say anything."

"Promise me you will never do this again, promise me that when you get a craving for something we don't have in the house in the middle of the night wake me okay? I will get you anything you want, anytime."

"Okay." you say with a small voice.

He pushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear and smiles at you before he pulls you towards him to kiss you.

"I love you." he says.

His kisses move to your neck and you turn your head so that he has more room and he slowly pushes you on your back and lies down in between your legs, you let them fall open as an invitation for him to go on and his hand wanders lower to discover that you're already soaked and he groans. He first pumps one finger inside you that soon is followed by a second finger, and when he starts to play with your clit you are suddenly so excited that you put your feet on the bed and push your hips up. Tom smiles and looks at you but before he can say something you grab his erection and put it against your opening.

"Fuck me, Tom, please ... just ...."

His smile turns into a frown, you've never been shy in bed but also not that forward and he halts slightly in his movements. Your hands go back to his dick but he grabs them and puts them over your head while you squirm and wriggle underneath him.

"Noooo," you whine and push your hips back up again,"please, Tom, I need you, I want you."

Suddenly you feel him slip inside you and you press your head in the pillow of pleasure.

"Yessss." you sigh longingly.

He gradually moves in and out of you but it's not nearly enough for you.

"Come on, fuck me harder, make me feel it." you say.

Tom is still a bit surprised by your use of language and your assertiveness but thrust harder inside of you and you arch your back when he hits your deepest pleasure spot.

"Yes, there, right there." you gasp.

You spread your legs as far as possible for him to feel him inside you as deeply as possible and when you feel your peak nearing you push your hips up with every thrust and when you fall off the edge you cry out his name. Soon he follows you and after he has dropped he next to you looks at you.

"What was that?" he asks.

"I do not know .... I was just suddenly ......" you sigh and look at him.

"Also a sympthoom of your pregnancy?" he asks cautiously.

"Well, my hormones are acting up, could be."

"I like that symptom." he says, raising his eyebrows.

You laugh and give him a push.

"I'm sure you do but just wait when this continues and I tear the clothes off of you as soon as you get home the coming weeks."

"I will sacrifice myself entirely to you to release your desires on." he says.

He smiles and pulls you close, rubbing your back untill you fall asleep.

 

Every other day James comes to see you in the afternoons to see how you are doing and if you feel up to it you go outside and walk around and visit some places but when you are too tired he just sits with you, talking and laughing and you are very gratefull for his company. The first two weeks James always leaves about an hour after Tom came home so you can eat and enjoy your evening together but in the third and fourth week he stays for dinner and mostly leaves around ten o'clock.

During that time the doctor also comes for the first house call and as she promised she has taken an ultrasound machine with her. Together with Tom and James she carries it up and puts it together in your bedroom so you can lie on the bed while you watch your child. Again, the chamber is filled with the strong rapid heartbeat of the baby and your eyes go to the bedroom door where James was before but not anymore.

"Tom." you say and tug his hand.

"Hmm?" he asks and looks at you.

"Go get your father."

Tom looks up and sees that he is gone, then he stands up and walks into the room to come back a little later with James.

"I did not know if you wanted to have me here." he says a little nervous.

"Of course we want to have you here, it's your grandchild."

James smiles and turns his face to the screen, his lips curl into a smile when he sees the baby and you smile also.

"The muscles are connected to the brains now and the baby can move. Incidentally, this happens unaware, the movements are completely arbitrary. The toes and fingers are now stretched and the membranes between are largely resolved. This week the formation of the genitals also begins. The button between the legs grows into a clitoris or penis and the baby gets ovaries or testes. It is still too early to see what sex the baby has on an echo. This is visible around 20 weeks but perhaps it is an idea to think about if you want to know whether it is a boy or a girl." the doctor says.

You and Tom look at each other and just when you want to say something his phone goes.

"Shit, sorry," he says and he walks into the living room.

You nod and look at the screen again where you see your child and you smile.

"Are you still sick?" the doctor's questions.

"Yes, unfortunately but only in the morning and the cramps come at night giving me little sleep so I usually lie in bed untill ten o'clock." you say regrettable.

"That you have to do, you need your sleep at this stage."

"I know."

By the time Tom walks into the room again the doctor is busy drive away the equipment and you clean your stomach. Before the doctor says goodbye she gives you a new ultrasound and she has even printed one for James who accepts it gratefully. When the doctor is gone Tom sits on the bed next to you and you give him the ultrasound, he looks at it and his eyes soften and and a smile graces his lips.

"Who was that on the phone?" you ask.

"That was Elle magazine." he says.

"Oh? What for?"

"Well, they have elections every year for different categories and one of them is Man of the Year and guess what?"

"No way." you laugh.

"Yes way!"

"They want to come to give me the award and to record a thank-you video."

"Really? What did you say?"

"Well, the winner is chosen by readers of the magazine, it seemed to me like the right thing to thank them." he says and looks at you.

"Okay," you reply, and sit up, "they will want to know who I am."

"And then we'll tell them, I'm not going to hide you."

Tom sees your hesitation and places the photo of the echo away to take your hands and he pulls you towards him.

"Do you remember what I said to you? In the car on the way to the airport."

You nod and repeat his words softly.

"And I stand by that, you are the greatest love of my life and I consider myself the luckiest guy in the world that you think of me that wat too and I want to share that with the world."

"Under one condition." you say.

"What is that?"

"I do not want them to take my picture and I do not want them to use my full name, my first name is fine."

"Then your firstname is all they get." Tom says, and he leans forward to kiss you.


	31. chapter 32

Two days later, the time has come, it's at the beginning of the evening and the people of Elle can arrive any time. Tom is wearing a neat suit and you have a neat jeans and a blue shirt on. The ultrasound equipment is hidden under a sheet and the photo of the echo in the kitchen is removed from the refrigerator and put in a drawer. Yet you are very nervous and you pace the room untill Tom suddenly grabs your hand and stops you.

"Darling please calm down, you're making me nervous." he says.

"I'm sorry." you mumble.

"Never mind but that stress is not good for the baby." he says.

"Okay, I'm going to drink some water." you say.

You losen yourself from his hands and walk into the kitchen and just when you let some water run in a glass the doorbell rings. You look up and see Tom give you a reassuring smile before he goes to the door to open it. You hear a lot of voices at once, men and women mixed together and when they get closer you put your glass away and you walk into the living room. You see two women and two men walking with equipment. When one of the women sees you she looks surprised.

"And who is this?" she asks.

"I ..... I am ....."

Your eyes dart across the room, looking for blue ones and when you find them and he sees the anxious look in your eyes he immediately comes walking towards you.

"This is y/n, she's my girlfriend." he says and lays an arm around your waist.

"Oh, I did not know you had a girlfriend." she says surprised.

"No, we have not yet gone public, but we are together now for twelve weeks and it's time that that changes."

"So we can write about this?"

"You can write whatever we indicate." Tom says, and you hear to strict tone in his voice.

"Okay, and that is?"

"Why do not we sit down?" the second woman says.

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea."

The two women sit on the couch while the men prepare the equipment and you and Tom go sit on the couch across it. You are very on your guard and you slide close to Tom who puts an arm around your waist and his hand takes yours to squeeze in it reassuringly.

"Y/N was it right?" one of the women asks.

"Yes that's right." you say softly.

"I'm Megan, and this is Alyssa. The men there are Tony and Matt." she says and smiles at you.

You look at Megan and Alyssa and back again and when you see that they look at you friendly and slightly interested you feel a bit more comfortable.

"Okay, how did you two meet?" Megan asks.

You look at Tom and he slides forward to tell how you two met two years ago in the museum and how you then have kept in touch via email, phone and letters.

"And eight weeks ago there suddenly was a spark?" Alyssa asks.

"Yes,"Tom says,"there were feelings there from the beginning, from both sides but I was so busy with a lot of movies then, The Avenger, The Dark World, Only Lovers Left Alive, Midnight in Paris....I just didn't give myself the time to think about it and moreover, I wanted her to have a life with some one who doesn't leave her alone for months on end."

"And I didn't say anything because of, well like he said, he was so busy, so much was going on in his life, I didn't wanted to be in his way and really, he can have anyone he wants so why would he choose me? I'm nothing special."

"Or didn't you find yourself beautiful enough?" Megan asks.

You look at her thinking that you could interpret her words as a insult but the way she says it makes it sound like she didn't mean it like that at all.

"Yes, someting like that." you replie softly.

"You might not have a classic hourglass figure but some men find it very attractive that woman have curves, you know."she says smiling at you, putting you even more at ease.

"Thank you." you say.

Tom feels you relax completly now and gives you a kiss on your temple.

"Wow, you look really happy together and believe me you form a beautiful couple. I'm really happy for you."

"Thank you."

"So how about that video?"he says.

"Or how about this?" you suddenly hear Alyssa say from your left and you look up.

She stands in front of your bedroom and holds up the ultrasound of the baby and a look in her eyes you don't like and you immediatly panic.

"Oh my God," you stand up and run towards her taking the picture from her,"you can't write about that, you can't, please." you say.

Allysa doesn't answer you so you look at Megan and walk towards her.

"Please, I am begging you, it's only ten weeks, it's to early to tell anyone."

Megan stands up and takes your hands in hers and she looks at you.

"Okay, it's okay, we promised we won't write anything you don't want, okay?"

"Yes, okay. So you won't?"

"No, we won't, right Alyssa?"

Alyssa doens't answer so Megan looks at her.

"Right?" she says again.

"Yes, right." Alyssa says.

"Guys?"

Tony and Matt look at you and both shrug one saying that he doesn't even know what is on the picture but sure, they won't tell.

"And besides, when we were hired by Elle we had to sigh a secrecy contract too as not to embarass the stars when they slip up or something. Even if we would write about it we would probably get fired and no other magazine would ever hire us for betraying your trust in us."

"Thank you." you say.

"Sure, but when you are ready to talk about this it will be our honer to write about it." she says and looks at you hopefull.

You frown your eyebrows and look at Tom who shrugs his shoulders.

"Yeah, sure. When the time is right, we'll let you know." you say.

"Thank you, y/n," she says and turns to Tom then,"so, about the video."

Megan goes to Tom and positions him before a door while Alyssa picks up a bag and pulls out a trophy. It is about twenty centimeters and consists of glass with an inscription on the foot. You let yourself sink into the couch and sigh with relief. You are convinced that Megan will say nothing but you do not trust Alyssa and you can only hope that she keeps her mouth shut. It's also only two weeks before you go into the second trimester and then the chance of miscarriage is practically gone. During the interview Tom is his charming self again and despite the fact he has to start over a few times it is finished within an hour and while Matt and Tony clean up the equipment Megan walks towards you.

"Y/N, it was a pleasure to meet you and do not worry, you'll be reading nothing in the magazine you do not want, I promise."

"Okay, thank you."

"Well, the magazine comes out at the end of the week so."

"We will look forward to it." Tom says.

He is now back beside you and his hand grasps yours to intertwine your fingers and after they are gone, he looks at you.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm fine, I just .... I was alarmed when Alyssa was suddenly standing with that echo in her hand. God, how stupid that I second forgot to hide that." you say.

"Hey, they will say nothing except your name, you have heard Megan, they have a contract of confidentiality."

"I know, I just do not trust Alyssa."

"I know."

Tom takes you in his arms and he frames your face and leans down to kiss you. You put your hands on his chest and when you feel his tongue sliding over your lip you open your mouth for him. When your tongues meet you sigh longingly and your fist his shirt in your hands, Tom pushes you back slowly until you are standing against the wall and he turns your head to deepen the kiss. You moan into his mouth and your fingers start to unbutton his dressshirt and when you are done you immediatly start with his pants and when it is open your hand slips past his waistband and you cup him in your hands. Tom groans and pushes his hips forward, breathing heavy and in a simple movement your push it from his hips. Your hands are all over his gorgeous body and your lips kiss his chest licking and biting. Then you suddenly fist his shirt in your hands and kiss him fiercely, pulling and pushing him into the bedroom and he willingly let's you manhandle him untill he feels the bed nudge his knees and with a push from you he falls on it. Before he can do anything you get rid of your clothes and jump him, Tom breaths out surprised and you lean forward to kiss him vigorously and your hips roll into his making him moan into your mouth.

"Take me, Tom." you breath into his mouth without breaking the kiss.

One of his hands cup your head to pull you close and the other moves over your back untill it reaches your thigh, then it moves in between you and he slips a finger inside feeling you already soaked for him. You place your hands next to his head en roll your hips into his hand, riding his finger but your suddenly impatient and you move back making it slip out while your hand grabs his dick and you place it against your opening moving down and impaling yourself on it in one move. It burns a little but you don't care and you sit back, moving your hips back and forth, fingers grabbing his side and head rolling from left to right in pleasure while Tom rolls his hips up into you.

"God, you feel so good inside me, so good." you moan.

Suddenly Tom flips your positions and he pushes you into the bed and your leg goes around his waist while he pushes the other out and he fills you completly.

"How good?" he says hoarsly.

"Almost too good, the way you fill me up, like you were made to fuck me....no one else ever fucked like that."

"No one?"

"No one, only you."

"Fuck me harder, I want to be able to feel you for days."

Then Tom's hands pull you up against him and he pushes you against the headboard and locking your ankles behind his back. His hands slide around your waist and he grabs your buttocks while he starts to thrust in earnest touching your most inner spot every time making you cry out.

"God yes...."

You feel your climax approaching and Tom's breathing on your neck, it takes you closer to your peak and you dig your nails in his back which is answered with a broken moan. The moment your climax rolls through your body you stiffen and your mouth drops open in an "O" while your toes curl when Tom shoots his seed deep inside you, making you shake all over your body. His arms tighten their grip around your waist and he buries his face in your neck. As you catch your breath, he gently lays you down and he lets himself slip out of you.

"God, that symptom is really great." he gasps.

You laugh and look at him.

"And you know what I find even beter? The way you talk to me, so dirty, so exciting."

"Oh, you like that?"

"Yes, really, promise me that when you have given birth to our child that you continue to do that."

You laugh and want to say something when a phone rings, Tom looks at his and then at you.

"It's not me." he says.

"Oh." you say and wriggles you out from under him.

You grab your mobile from the nightstand, number unknown, and you pick it up.

"Hello?" you say.

"Hey, it's me."

Although you haven't spoken to him you immediatly recognize his voice and you blink your eyes while you try to supress a shiver.

"Lucas?" you ask.

"Yes, how are you?"

"Why are you calling me?" you ask and turn away from Tom a little.

"It's not a casual phone call," he says and pauses, "it concerns Lisa."

"What?"

"She's gone."

"What do you mean she's gone?" you ask.

"As in she's not in London anymore."

"Then where is she?"

"On impulse, I requested the passenger lists of flights to Toronto and on one of those lists her name stood, the stewardess has recognized her. She's there, y/n."

"No, no it can't." you say.

You feel Tom tugging your shoulder lightly and you turn towards him, he immediately sees that something is wrong and his face becomes worried.

"I'm really sorry."

"So, now what?"

"Well, the boss knows how dangerous she is considering what she has done, and that you are at risk, and since you are a citizen of England .... he is sending me over."

"Your coming here?"

"Yes, this time alone, Milan has a another case."

"Okay, when are you here?"

"In a few hours, please tell me your not alone."

"No, Tom is with me."

"Thank god," he says, relieve sounding in his vouce,"stay with him untill I'm there and please be careful." he says, and you hear the concern in his voice.

"I will."

"Promis me."

"Okay, I promis you."

"I'll let you know when I land."

Once you have broken the connection Tom looks at you questioningly.

"That was Lucas, apparently Lisa has taken a flight here." you say.

"What?" Tom says, voice full of disbelief.

"Yes, they couldn't find her anywhere and when Lucas requested passenger lists he found her name."

"Jesus, can't she just leave us alone." Tom sighs.

"Lucas is coming here." you say softly, playing with the phone a little.

"He is?"

"Yes, I am a British citizen so it remains a matter for them."

"Actually, I'm happy about that, you know him and you seem to feel safe with him."

"I do feel safe with him but I feel the safest with you." you say and look at him.

"I can not take you to the set, she will find it, you are not safe there."

"I know."

Tom takes the phone from you and places it on the nightstand to draw you close.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, just...I just hoped they would catch her while we where here."

"I know, me too."

"So, where are we going to put Lucas?"

"I don't know, we don't have another bedroom."

"He can take the couch." Tom suggets.

"I don't want him in the house constantly," you say, thinking about what he said to you on the night of Tom's party, you really don't want to push it,"we wouldn't have any time together then."

"What about the hotel my dad is staying?"

You frown your eyebrows and look at him.

"Maybe we can arrange it that we take the room next to my dad's and Lucas takes the room next to that, you will be protected then by two sides."

"That sounds......good, excually." you say.

"When will he be here?"

"Couple of hours, he would let me know."

"Send him the adress of the hotel, let him go there and I will call the hotel."

"What if the rooms are occupied?" you ask.

"I'll just let them know who I am."

"Really? It's not like you to use your name to get things done."

"I know it's not but your safety is on the line here and now also the safety of our child and that is the most important thing to me, you and the little one."

"Thank you."

You lean up to kiss him and after the kiss Tom walks into the livingroom to call the hotel and you text Lucas to let him now about the plan. You get a replie back almost immediatly, saying it's a very good idea and that he will see you and Tom in the morning and he ends with the words to keep yourself safe untill he get's there and he wishes you a goodnight. You keep watching the massage, reading it over and over and you can't help but think about how you wil react when you see him again after all those weeks. You haven't even thought about him since you left London but now that he will be coming back into your life all you can suddenly think about is him. When Tom comes walking into the bedroom again quickly lay you your phone away and look at him.

"Done." he says.

"So soon?"

"Yes, it is seemingly never busy here at this time of year so it was no problem, we can go tomorrow morning and I gave them Lucas' name."

He lies down next to you in bed and you lay your head on his chest and your arm around his waist, his fingers gently caress your back and you feel yourself falling asleep but just at that moment you get a cramp and your body contracts together. You gasps for breath and curl yourself against Tom's side, fingers digging into his flesh, his arms go around your body to pull you close to him.

"Oh God ..." your breath.

"It's okay, just breathe, darling."

"It hurts." you complain.

"I know and I'm so sorry."

This cramp is worse than any other you've had and you squirm across the bed. Tom pushes the blanket away and turns you so that he comes to lie behind you and he presses his body tightly against yours until you are touching on every piece of skin. His arms go around your waist and his fingers find yours on your stomach, he laces them together and he lays his chin on your shoulder.

"Just breathe with me, feel me breathing, love."

He takes a deep breath and then slowly breaths out again while he continues to talk to you and you close your eyes to focus on his breathing and his voice. It takes a while but ultimately your breathing simultaneously with Tom and for a few minutes you both remain as you are. Eventually you feel a finger under your chin and he turns your face towards him.

"Are you okay?" he asks and you see the concern in his eyes.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine." You sigh and lick your dry lips.

"That was a fierce one."

"I know," you say.

You sit upright but Tom is stopping you.

"Where are you going?" concern now also clearly in his voice.

You take his hand and look at him.

"I just want to look if....."

"If what?" he asks but he knows what you want to say.

"Whether I'm bleeding." you say softly and look away.

Tom's hand tightens around yours and although he has no experience with this, he knows what the consequences might be if you were bleeding. He nods and lets your hand go so you can walk to the bathroom, you go to the sink and look in the mirror before you breathe deeply and pull your panties down.


	32. Chapter 33

Unsurprisingly you get more cramps during the night but not nearly as intense as the first one. You try to lie as still as possible during these cramps as not to wake Tom , he after all needs his rest. The next morning you wake up when you feel movement beside you and when you open your eyes you see Tom walking towards the bathroom to take a shower. You lie on your back and hear how he turns on the shower, you close your eyes and mentally you see how he opens the glass door to step inside and closes it again. How he goes to stand under the stream of water and tilt his head back to run the hot water over his face, fingers gliding through his hair, over his muscular chest, strong arms, how he soaps up that glorious body. Just the thought makes you moan and you bite your lip while your hand slides up over your belly slowly and you cup your breast to squeeze your nipple. Your breasts are larger than normal and also a lot more sensitive and you feel wet between your legs, your other hand goes down and you stroke your thigh and then let a finger slip into your hot center. You immediately find your clit and you push your head in the pillow and arch your back while a broken moan escapes your lips.

"Fuck, y/n." you suddenly hear a voice say, full of lust.

"Tom, please ..." you groan.

"Please what?"

You feel the bed next to you dip and the hand on your breast disappears in his still wet hair to pull him to you and your lips meet in an intense kiss. After the kiss you draw a track to his ear and you bite his earlobe.

"What do you need?"

"I need you." you breath.

Tom let's his fingers ghost over your side down to you thigh and to the inside, dipping it between your folds and he moans at the wetness he finds there. 

"I need you to fuck me." you pant.

"Y/N, your going to make me late ..." he groans.

"So what? You're their leading man, baby, you are their star, what can they do?"

"I know, but still ..."

"Blame me."

"Yeah, so when they ask why I'm late I just say that my girlfriend wanted me to fuck her."

"Or if that is to forward just tell them your girlfriend was having a situation and your help was needed."

Your hands go to his zipper and you pull it down, your hand disappears into his boxer and you take his manhood with your fingertips.

"Hmm, you can not leave with a hard on, Thomas." you purr in his ear.

"No I can not .... God just the sight of you, so willingly and wantonly makes me so hard ..."

He sits down between your legs and his arms slide around your waist to lift you up, he puts his erection against your opening and slowly lets you sink down on him, eliciting a moan from the both of you. For a moment you keep sitting like that before he places his hand on the matras but his other keeps supporting your back, forcing you to arch your back giving himself a clear view of your writhing body beneath him and he immediately starts to thrust hard into you, attacking your deepest pleasure spot.

"God, you're so beautiful." he murmers.

He leans forward and takes a nipple in his mouth and your hands slip into his hair, playing with his curls and sometimes you give a gentle tug on it, making him groan. He starts to thrust hard and it is not long before you feel that tingling feeling in your stomach.

"Close .... so close ... come on, make me come, Thomas."

He thrust again hard and deep and you cry out his name, your muscles tighten around him and you drag him over the edge. Slowly he lets himself fall beside you, and when he can breathe normally again he looks at you.

"I really love that symptom." he says and kisses you.

He gets out of bed and redresses himself again before he sits down on the bed next to you.

"The car can be here any minute to pick me up. I have called the gynecologist to explain what has happened and that she can pick up the equipment, she will come at noon. Lucas has sent a message that he arrived at the hotel last night at half past five. He can be here any moment."

"Wow, you've thought of everything."

Tom smiles and pushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

"He will help you to pack up and then take you to the hotel."

"Okay."

You get up to give him a kiss and then lie down again.

At that moment you hear the bell ring and your eyes turn to the door.

"That will be Lucas,"Tom says and he looks at you again,"you let me know when you are in the hotel?"

You nod and he gives you another kiss.

"Go back to sleep." he says.

He walks away and leaves the bedroom door ajar. When he opens the door you hear his voice with that of Lucas. You hear the gratitude in Tom his voice that he's there and he indicates that you are still asleep and that he should let you sleep untill you wake up.

After he left you try to sleep again but you have a bit of difficulty knowing that Lucas is in the living room. You focus your ears to sounds and sometimes you can hear him walking back and forth and open the fridge to grab a drink. You can also hear the sliding door to the balcony open but he quickly closes it again. Then you hear the soft voices of the TV and you push your head in the pillow and close your eyes. You breathe in and out slowly and just when you feel yourself falling asleep you get a sick feeling in your stomach. You don't want to take any risks and slowly get up from the bed to walk to the bathroom and just when you sit in front of the toilet you retch. You are almost startled when you feel a hand on your back and you look up to see two blue eyes and for a moment you think that it's Tom until you hear his voice.

"Hi, y/n." he says.

"Hi, Lucas," you answer softly and vaguely notice that you're wearing only a shirt and you hair is tussled, "sorry for my appearance."

"No need, you look beautiful, as always." he says.

You feel yourself blush and look away, concentrating on the hand that rubs your back.

"I'm sorry, was that to forward?" he asks but you hear the smile in his voice.

"No, that's okay."

"Will there be more you think?"

"No, usually there is some time in between."

Lucas nods and takes your hand to help you up and for a moment you do not know what to do but then Lucas lets your hand go and places it on the small of your back to steer you into the bedroom.

"You should go back to bed, try to get some sleep." he says.

You nod and lie in bed on your side and you look at him.

"I'm next door when you need me." he says and smiles at you before he leaves.

You curl into yourself and in spite of that you have to throw up three more times do you nevertheless get some sleep. All the times you have to throw up Lucas sits patiently next to you to bring you back to bed afterwards. When you get up it is around half past ten and you lay a bathrobe around your body before you walk to the door and look into the living room. Lucas is sitting on the couch and peers to the echo of your baby. When he hears you coming he looks up and then back to the echo.

"Incredible, is it not?" he asks and puts it away.

"Yes I guess so."

He stands up and shoves his hands in his pockets.

"I'm sorry that you have so much trouble."

"Oh, it is part of it, and Tom does everything he can to help me."

"Well, that's good to hear."

"And the vomiting occurs only in the morning and at night, I have cramps. The doctor says it will pass when I get in the second trimester."

"And when is that?"

"Uhm .... about two weeks, then I am three months so hopefully it stops then and I can enjoy it."

"I hope so too." Lucas says, and you hear that he means it.

"I, uh, am going to take a shower." you say and turn around.

"Want me to make you breakfast?" he asks.

You stand still and look him about your shoulder, he walks around the couch and comes to you until he is right in front of you.

"You do not have to do that." you say and turn your body towards him.

"I know, but you mean more to me than just someone who I have to protect," he raises his hand and places it on your cheek, "I care about you, let me take care of you when that Tom is not here to do that."

His concern for you is touching and you smile at him before nodding vaguely. He let his thumb glide over your cheek before he removes his hand and takes a step backwards.

"What do you want?" he asks.

"Does not matter, something that is easy to digest."

"Okay."

You look after him as he walks away, eyes moving over his form from behind that reminds you so much of Tom and when he walks into the kitchen you take a deep breath and walk to the bathroom to take a shower. After the shower you walk into the living room in jeans and a shirt and you immediately smell a nice smell coming from the kitchen. When you look inside, you see that Lucas has made you an omelette and has put down a glass of orange juice for you. Your eyes go up to look at him and you smile.

 

"Thank you, it smells great."

"It was nothing." he says.

You sit down and start eating when the bell rings.

"I'll go, you eat." he says.

Lucas walks past you, and when he opens the door you hear the voice of the gynecologist and Lucas lets her inside. When she sees you sitting in the kitchen and sees that you are eating she nods.

"That looks nice, good to see you eating." she says.

"Lucas has made it for me." you say.

"That he has done well, you have to eat to make sure the baby grows."

"I know." you wipe your mouth with a napkin and put it away.

"In which hotel are you going to stay?"

"The Continental."

"Is it okay if I tag along with you? To see if their doctors clinic has ultrasound equipment so that I can use it to look at your baby."

"Yes of course. Lucas can help load it into your car then I will pack up the stuff."

The doctor nods and walks along with Lucas to the bedroom to take the ultrasound equipment apart while you place the clothes of you and Tom in the suitcases. When everything is ready, you walk to the street and the doctor gets in her car and Lucas remains close to you as you walk to your side of the car. When you're in the car Lucas runs around the car and gets in too. involuntary you look around you if you see something, anything, and Lucas notices.

"I will not allow her to hurt you, y/n, you're safe with me." he says and on a whim he takes your hand in his.

"I know, actually ...."

You suddenly stop and look at him, making him look at you too and he frowns.

"Actually what?"

"Well, actually, you and Tom are the only persons I really feel safe with." you say softly.

You hear Lucas snickering and you look at him.

"That's nice to hear and thanks for your confidence in me." he says.

When he has to shift he has to let go of your hand and you can't help but miss the feel of it and you shake your head, closing your eyes and forcing yourself to think of Tom, think of Tom and his hands, his lips, his voice his arms around you and slowly you start to relax again. When you arrive at the hotel you see James standing outside and when Lucas stops the car you get out and walk towards him. You give him a hug and when you let go you hear Lucas calling your name.

"You can not just walk away from me, I can not protect you when I'm not with you." he says and you see the alarm in his eyes.

"I'm sorry but I saw James and ..."

"No, it's okay," Lucas says, looking also at James, then to you again, "it's good."

"Why do not you help the bell boy with the suitcases, then I bring y/n to the her and Tom's room." James suggests.

"Yes of course." Lucas says.

You can see instantly that he does not like it to be separated from you and you want to say something but James places an arm around your waist and brings you to the elevator, when you stand in the elevator you look at him.

"Listen, there is a change in plans." he says.

"How do you mean?"

"A customer of the company where I worked threatens to leave, apparently one of the new partners insulted them and I have to come in to prevent it."

"What? Why you?"

"Because I brought them in their thirty years ago, when I was in charge, and they have always done business with me," when the elevator arrives to the correct floor, he leads you out, "they trust me, they only want to talk to me."

 

James opens the door and lets you go in first.

"When are you leaving?"

"In one hour." he says.

"What?"

"I know, I'm sorry to leave like this I was hoping on spending some more time with you and Tom and to see my grandchild again."

"Me too but don't worry, if you give me your emailadress I will send them via mail."

"Thank you." he says.

"Y/N?" you hear Lucas calling.

"I'm here." you say.

You turn to the voice and see a relieved Lucas standing with both your and Tom's suitcase standing. He gives James a nod and walks towards you.

"I will bring these to the bedroom for you."

"Thank you."

After Lucas is gone James looks at you and he shifts closer.

"I still have to pack, why do not you come along, then we can talk some more before I leave."

"Okay." you say.

You let Lucas know that you are in the next room with James and after you've assured him that you're safe with James you walk to his room, when you are inside you can see that his bags are packed and you look at him.

"He takes his role as your protector very seriously."

"Oh, well, he's also been with us in London and we get on well together."

"How well?" he asks and you hear a certain tone in his voice.

"What are you saying?"

"You have to watch out for him."

Now you can really no longer follow him and he walks towards you.

"I see the way he looks at you."

Your face falls a bit and you want to say something but you do not know what.

"It's the same way Tom looks at you."

"Wow, you're very ..... perceptive that you see all of that in like, two minutes." you say.

You put your arms around yourself and walk to the window to look outside.

"Well, I was the director of a large company for ten years and to be a good director you have to see everything, even when people try to hide it."

"I am not trying to hide anything!" you say and hold your hands up.

"He has more difficulty."

"He kept me safe in London also and honestly I feel safe with him."

"Safer than with Tom?"

You turn around and look at him, almost offended.

"Of course not, the safest place for me is with Tom because I love him, James, I love _your_ son, I'm pregnant with _your_ son and I do not like what you imply." you say and your eyes are dark.

"Okay, that's clear, I'm glad we agree on that." he says.

"What?" you say and blink your eyes.

"Y/N, I see how much Tom loves you, that your safety is worth everything to him. When you were to ask him to sit in a cabin in the middle of nowhere for the rest of your lives than he would without hesitation do that, I just wanted to know if the same applies to you."

"Yes of course, for as long as I can remember I have loved Tom, he is the only one for me James."

"Does Tom know about Lucas' feelings for you?"

"No, at least, I don't think so."

"Good, because I can imagine he doesn't take to kindly to some one else lusting after his woman."

"Lucas is not lusting after me," you say, laughing,"and he might share some simalarities with him but he still has one big flaw."

"Which is?"

"He's not Tom, trust me James, he is not a threat."

James smiles and gives you a hug.

"I'm sorry that I have upset you, I know it's not good for the baby but I had to be sure." he says.

"I understand,"you say and look at him after he let's you go,"but he promised me he won't try anything as long as Tom and I are together."

"I hope he keeps true to his word." James says, not completly convinced.

"James please, he knows my heart belongs to Tom, you can trust me."

"I do trust you I just don't trust him."

"I promis that when he goes to far I will tell Tom."

"Okay, I guess that will have to do then."

Then he picks up a pen and paper and writes his email adress and gives it to you, then he gives you a kiss on the cheek and he says goodbye to you and you walk to your own room again.


	33. chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So because I will be away for a week on holiday I won't be able to post a chapter on wednesday, so the next one will be next saterday.

When you walk into your room again Lucas comes walking out of the bedroom.

"Where's James?" he asks.

"He's gone."

"Gone? What do you mean gone?"

"As in back to London, something with a customer who is likely to leave the company where he worked and the customer only wants to talk with James."

"Oh, okay, it's just you and me then."

"Yes, during the day, at least."

"Yes of course."

Then you hear a knock on the door and you open it to see the doctor standing with an ultrasound device.

"They let you take one?" you ask.

You make room for her so she can ride it in.

"Yes, they have some reserves and after insisting I got one with me, but with the condition that if it breaks I have to replace it. Shall I put it in the bedroom and see if it works?"

"Okay."

You walk into the bedroom after the doctor and when she set's it ready beside the bed while you lie on the bed. As you slide back and forth until you are lying comfortably Lucas also walks into the bedroom but when he sees what the doctor is going to do, he suddenly stops and looks at you.

"It's okay." you say.

He nods and sits down on the bed and when the doctor pushes up your shirt, he looks away. She squirts some gel on your belly and moves over it with the Doppler over your eyes go to the screen and become wide when you hear the heartbeat of your baby for the first time.

"Is that his heartbeat?" Lucas asks and he looks at the doctor.

"Yes, it is normal that it goes so quickly, it sounds strong. The main internal organs are now built and the key external body parts are formed. The risk of miscarriage has decreased quite after 12 weeks. The baby now has fingers that each move apart and the mouth can open and close. The baby is about 6 inches long. "the doctor explains.

You look at the monitor and the doctor indicates where the head is and where the legs. You are very boisterous but suddenly your face falls a little.

"What's wrong?" Lucas asks and he sits on the edge of the bed.

"I just wish that Tom would be to hear the heartbeat of his child for the first time." you say.

"Oh, yes, I understand."

"I can record it for him, he can look at it and listen when he gets home."

"Yeah? That would be great." you say.

The doctor smiles and presses a button to record the sound while she still moves the doppler over your belly. Meanwhile, she asks how it is with your nausea and you tell her that there is not much change in it, but you hope that after two weeks, when you get into your second trimester that will go away. The doctor presses a button and there comes a picture of your baby out and she gives it to you and then she stops the recording. When she removes the doppler of your belly and looks around for a cloth Lucas get's up.

"I'll get some." he says.

The doctor nods and removes the ultrasound device, then she walks into the living room when Lucas enters the bedroom again and before you know it, he sweeps the gel off of your abdomen with the paper. You stiffen under his touch and look at him, he suddenly stops and looks up at you.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," he says and stops to give you the paper, "I'm going to go to the living room."

After Lucas has walked away you keep lying still for a moment and you are drawn out when the doctor comes walking into the bedroom again.

"Everything okay?" she asks.

"Yeah." you say and wipe your belly clean.

"You're lucky to have two men who are so caring about you."

"Hmm, yeah I guess so."

"Shall I come back again in four weeks?"

"Sure, I'll see you then."

"Until then."

The doctor walks away and leaves you alone, when you're done you walk back into the living room where Lucas is sitting on the couch. You look at him for a moment and think back to the moment when he wiped your stomach, something Tom also did that first time, and the electric surge that went through you. You take a deep breath and just when you want to walk into the bedroom you feel your stomach play up again.

"God, please no." you moan.

Lucas looks up at you and when he sees you standing he get's up and walks towards you, you make eyecontact for a brief moment before you run to the toilet and hunch over to vomit. Almost immediately you feel Lucas sitting down beside you, one hand on your back, the other taking your hair. It lasts longer than normal and the muscles in your abdomen contracts harder. When you have finally finished you fall sideways and Lucas can barely put an arm around your waist to attract you against him before you fall against the wall. Your eyes feel heavy and you can not keep them open and vaguely you notice that Lucas lifts you up, your head fall against his shoulder and you look up to see concern in his blue eyes before it becomes black.

When you open your eyes again, you see that Tom is in the chair beside the bed and you come up cautiously making him start to move and sit on the edge of the bed.

"Careful." he says and sits on the edge of the bed to help you.

"I'm fine." you say.

You remain a moment like that and eventually you sit on the edge of the bed beside him and take a deep breath.

"What are you doing here?" you ask, realizing that it's on the middle of the day.

"We have to make some nightshoots and since they can't get it dark enough outside they want to film tonight."

"What?"

"Yeah, I am expected back at eleven."

"Till when?"

"Probably eight in the morning." he sighs.

"Really?"

"I'm sorry, but Lucas is here, you can ask him to sleep in the couch or something, in case something happens."

"Okay," you mumble and take his hand,"I want to go out."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I want to have some fresh air. That will do me good."

"Okay."

Tom helps you off the bed and when you walk through the park fifteen minutes later you notice that you're right, the fresh air and the people around you make you feel a lot better. You also notice Tom has taken some more distance from you and you're glad. It's the way it was between you, you talk and laugh and make jokes. When your eating an ice cream on a bench you however get uncomfortable and you look around you.

"What's wrong?" Tom asks.

"I do not know, I have a feeling that I am being watched." you say.

Tom immediately looks around and then back to you.

"You sure?"

"Yes, I know the feeling of being watched," you look at him, "I want to go back to the hotel."

"Okay, come on."

You get up and while you walk back to the hotel the feeling that you are being watched intensifies and you unconscious walk closer to Tom. Your fingers search his and when they find them they curl around yours.

"It's okay, we're almost there." he says.

You nod and feel quite a bit calmer when you see the entrance of the hotel. Suddenly someone collides into you and you scream, Tom lets your hand go to let it slip around your waist and he pulls you up against him, using the hand of his other arm to cup your head to shield you. In a reflex you place your arms around his waist and crawl up against him, pushing yourself deeper into his protective embrace. Your heart is pounding, and when you hear his voice whispering comforting things you calm down again.

"You're okay, it was nothing, just someone who was in a hurry. She's gone."

"Was it her?" you want to know and you look up at him.

"I do not know, she had a scarf and hat on, I have not seen her that good."

For several minutes you stand in his arms and when your heart beats normally again Tom lays a hand on your lower back to lead you into the hotel. When you are above you suddenly feel very tired and tell Tom that you are going to lie down on the bed and before you know it you are sleep.

The first thing you see when you wake up is Tom and when he sees that you're awake he smiles at you. Before he can say anything you slide over to him and put your arms around him to pull him close to you. You feel his arm around go your waist and he buries his head in your neck and he kisses the pace where your neck meets your shoulder, making you shiver and he smiles against your skin. You feel how Tom tries to look at you but you strengthen your grip around his neck and he quickly gives up, pulling you closer. Tom places featherlight kisses in your neck and your body responds instantly to him, you put your leg over his hip and press your ankle in his lower back while you roll your hips forward and press yourself even closer against him. He slowly lets his hand move across your back, up and down and eventually it moves over your hip to squeeze your buttocks. You kiss his neck and they move to his lips to seal them in a hot kiss. Tom's hand goes up and caresses your side making you squirm in his arms.

"I want you." you say.

"Lucas is in the living room, darling, the door is open."

"Are you afraid that he comes running in when you make me scream your name." you say.

You come forward and bite his lower lip making him moan softly. Then you release it to let yourself slide off bed and you walk to the door, slowly you close it and then you turn to Tom with a smile on your face. Tom lies on his side leaning on his elbow and his head is resting on his hand while he looks at you and he laughs too. While you walk back to him you pull your shirt off in one fluid motion and let your hands go to your pants, slowly you open it while Tom follows your fingers with his eyes. When you come back to the bed you are only wearing your slip and bra, and you climb on the bed on your knees. Tom immediately responds by coming up and sitting on his knees to crawl towards you, your your lips meet again and his arms go around your waist to take off your bra. He pulls you further on the bed and your hands pull off his shirt while he opens his jeans to pull it off quickly followed by his boxer and you bite your lip when you see how hard he is. But before you can reach out your hand to it, he hooks his fingers in your knees and gives it a little tug so that you fall on your butt on the bed and he is in between your legs. His fingers curl in your slip and slowly he pulls it off you until it falls to the ground. Tom sits down on his knees and leans slightly back and you let your eyes move over his glorious body.

"Come here." he says.

You take his reached out hands and he pulls you towards him, you sit with your knees astride his lap and groan when you feel his tip against your folds and he gives a gentle tug so he breaches you. Your head falls back and you feel his lips in your neck and his hands on your back that press you closer against him. The pace is slow and the thrusts are also slow, he rolls his hips up into you and with every inward thrust a moan escapes your lips. Unlike the previous times it remains slow and you can feel him more and more deeply within you. The tip of his nose nudges gently against the spot just below your ear and you feel his panting breath over your neck making you shiver in his arms. Your arms tighten their grip around his neck when his hands slide down and hold your butt and with every thrust up into you presses your closer against him. When you feel your peak approaching your fingers weave in his curls and you draw him up to kiss him and then you put your forehead against his on. You seek his eyes and when you find them, it is enough to push you over the edge and soon you take him along. For a moment you remain like that, breathing heavily and eventually after some jostling he lays you under the covers and he kisses your forehead. You want to pull him to you but he takes your hands to kiss them.

"I am going to get something to eat, then I have to leave." he says.

"I'll miss you." you say.

"I'll miss you too, darling."

He leans towards you to give you a kiss and even before he leaves the bedroom your asleep. When your stomach is rumbling you wake up and you crane your head and see that it is twelve thirty in the night, your stomach is rumbling and you press your hand over it, trying to muffle it. You sigh and you know you have to look for some food and walk into the living room with a shirt and shorts. You close the bedroom door and walk to the kitchen to find a note on the fridge.

"Because you'll probably get hungry, I put some stew for you in the fridge, bon appetite darling xxx Tom '

You smile and open the fridge to get the leftover dinner out and when you take off the lid and smell your stomach rumbles again but suddenly you crave something different, something with a little more calories and you bite your lip.

"Y/N?" you hear and you jump in terror and you turn around.

"Lucas, I forgot you were here."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, fine, I'm just hungry." you say and let your eyes slide over his slender body before you look at him again.

"For what?"

"Cheeseburger." you say softly.

"A what?"

"A cheeseburger, I fancy a cheeseburger but we do not have that in the house," you say, and you turn around to put the container in the microwave,"and Tom has done his best on this, it would be a shame."

You close the door but then you feel how he lays his hand on yours and you look at your folded hands.

"I'll get one for you." he says.

"No," you reply, "I can not ask that of you."

"I'm offering." he says softly and you feel his breath on your cheek.

Slowly he takes your hand from the handle and opens the door to get the container out, you step backwards to give him space so he can put it in the fridge and you lean against the table. Your eyes follow his movements and it's like you see Tom himself walking, then you notice that he walks up to you and suddenly shy you look away but he puts his index finger under your chin and lift your head up so your eyes find his blue ones.

"I'm sure they have cheeseburgers at that shop on the corner and if not, I drive until I've found one, even if it would take me all night."

He smiles at you and you automatically smile back, he lets you go and takes a step backwards to walk to the room.

"Lock the door after I left and don't open for anyone, and I mean anyone." he says and looks at you.

"I won't."

He leaves you behind in the room before he walks away to get your cheeseburger. You take a deep breath and walk across the living room, you see a laptop on the desk with a file which undoubtedly has the papers of Lisa in it, realizing he was looking trough it when you came in. You walk towards it and hesitate what to do, yet you open it carefully and you see the photo of Lisa which is attached to the cover with a paper clip. Then you see a piece of paper that you do not know and you frown your eyebrows. You pick it up and turn it around to read the text and to your dread it is a text that you do not know.

'I told you already there is nowhere you can hide.'

You do not know how long you've been standing like that, reading the words again and again, but it must have been for quite some time because suddenly there is a hand that grabs the note and lays it back in the file and closes it.

"Come." he says.

He takes your hand and guides you to the couch where you sit down, Lucas opens the paper bag and gives you your cheeseburger, he took a burger and some fries for himself. You take your cheeseburger out slowly and look at it before you take a bite and you can not suppress a groan when tasting the melted cheese and the sauce in between. Lucas chuckles and looks at you.

"That good, huh?" he asks.

"Normally, I'm not such a greasy eater but I suddenly craved for it, it shall also be the hormones." you say.

You eat your cheeseburger in silence, and when you're done and take a sip of water you lean your back against the couch and look at him.

"So it was her? This afternoon with Tom and me?"

"Yes," Lucas says, and moves backwards, "he found it in the pocket of your jacket, I've told it to Tom while eating."

"I can not believe she's really here." you sigh.

"I'm really sorry." Lucas says, and you hear the sincerity in his voice.

"Yes, me too."

Suddenly you feel a stabbing pain in your stomach and your hands go there.

"Cramp?"

"Yup." your breath.

"Come here."

Lucas slips an arm around your waist and pulls you carefully towards him so that you sit with your back against him, he lets his arms go around your waist and puts his hands on yours and you immediately grab them firmly.

"It's okay, just breathe." he says.

When the cramp is over you sigh.

"Thank you." you say.

You look it him over your shoulder and then you notice how close he is, close enough to feel his breath on your face. You swallow laborious and lick your lips, an action that causes Lucas' eyes to flicker down to follow the movement and the breaking of eye contact makes you come back to your senses. You clear your throat and slide away from him, breaking your intertwined fingers.

"I uh .... must go back to sleep." you say softly.

"Yes, you need sleep." he replies.

"Thanks for the cheeseburger." you say.

Lucas nods and looks away before you quickly head towards the bedroom, you and Tom's bedroom. You crawl under the blanket and close your eyes but you have trouble falling asleep. You toss and turn and sigh and you even sit up at one point and try to read in an attempt to get tired and when your eyes become to feel heavy you put the book away and close your eyes only to open them again five minutes later when you feel a cramp coming and you lie on your side, hands on your stomach. You let out a frustrated groan and toss the pillow away, sending it flying across the room.

"Hey, watch it, will you." Lucas suddenly says.

"I'm sorry!" you say and sit up.

"What's going on? I could hear you in the livingroom."

"I didn't wake you did I?" you ask.

"Don't worry," he says and sits down on the edge of the bed,"it's three in the morning, why aren't you sleeping?"

"I can't." you groan.

"Have you been awake all this time?" he suddenly asks, seeing your tired eyes.

"Yes."

"Because of the cramps?"

"No, first I couldn't sleep because, well, probably because Tom isn't here, this is our first night apart, I'm used to his arms around me, to hearing his breathing, but then I got tired and I thought finally, but then the cramps came and normally Tom would help me with them, making them a little more bearable." you say.

"So you just need someone to hold you and to help you get through the cramps?" he asks.

"Yeah," suddenly you realize what he is suggesting and you look at him,"oh no, I can't, really...."

"Y/N, you have been awake for the entire night, what would Tom say if he came home in the morning and found you all broken? I can help you, if only for a couple of hours."

You sigh and know he is right, it's the only option for you to get at least some sleep before Tom comes home.

"Fine, just....behind me." you say.

Lucas walks around the bed and crawls behind you and when you feel how he lays his chest against your back and you come up a little.

"If you try anything, Lucas, I swear to God..."

"I won't," he chuckles before he becomes serieus again,"I meant what I said that night, I see how much you love him, I can see how well you fit together and how you complement one another perfectly. Believe it or not, it's not the first time that my feelings are not answered. I'll survive. Just relax and allow me to help you."

One arm slides over your pillow and you reach your hand back and take his to place your joined hands on your stomach, his beneath yours and you lay your head on his upperarm. You have to admit then when you close your eyes, listen to his breathing and concentrate on his hand it's just like Tom is lying next to you and you already feel yourself slipping away into sleep.


	34. Chapter 35

When you wake up the next day it's already after ten o' clock and your a little surprised to find Tom besides you but then you realize that he had a night shoot. Carefully you wriggle out of his grasp and walk into the livingroom and through o the kitchen but you immediately stop when you see that Lucas is standing behind the stove.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

"Making breakfast for you." he says.

"I can do that myself." you say, and you realize that it sounded harsher than you wanted, and he looks at you.

"I know but I just want to make it easy for you." he says.

You smile and sit down on a chair.

"Thank you."

Lucas also smiles and turns back to the pan.

"Thank you again for last night." you say and blush a little thinking back to how close he was to you.

"It was nothing." he says.

He lays the omelet on a bread roll and sets it in front of you followed by a glass of orange juice. Lucas turns back around and pours himself a cup of coffee and then sits down across from you, you smell the fresh coffee and your eyes go to the cup, you follow it with your eyes when Lucas lifts it up and eventually your eyes find his.

"Sorry, I just....I used to drink coffee a lot, like really a lot. I lived on it." you say.

"But?"

"Caffeine is bad for the baby." you sigh.

Lucas chuckles in his coffee and you look at him almost angrily.

"Sorry," he says and stands up, "I'll go to my room, just let me know if you need me."

When he is gone you eat your omelet and you you think to yourself you could get used to waking up to this every day. When you're done, you pick up your glass and walk into the living room to sit on the couch and you look up when Tom comes walking out of the bedroom in the beginning of the afternoon.

"Good morning, darling,"he says and walks to you to give you a kiss,"I heard Lucas went out last night to bring you a cheeseburger, I'm glad that you didn't go out yourself but that Lucas was there for you."

"Yeah, that was very nice of him."

When he comes back he sits down next to you, eating something.

"He also helped you with your cramps, didn't he?"

You look up at him, blinking your eyes, wondering if you misread the tone in his voice and you want to say something but he speaks first.

"It's okay, Lucas told me why he was in bed with you and despite the fact that it was because you couldn't sleep without my arms around you and to help you with the cramps I was a little jealous when I saw you in his arms."

"He didn't try anything." you suddenly say, why you don't know.

"He better not because I will break his arms and legs when he does," Tom says, sounding very serious," yesterday evening I also forgot to tell that Guillermo has invited us to go to dinner tonight at a restaurant in town."

"He did?" you ask surprised.

"Yes, Guillermo and the rest want to meet you. It's only him, Mia, Jessica, Charlie and us. I understand that I am catching you of guard with this and I'm sorry that I didn't say it before, I'll make it up to you." he says leaning towards you to kiss you.

"I think I can think of a way you can." you say.

Tom smiles against your lips and pulls you on his lap to deepen the kiss. Then you suddenly remember the DVD of the ultrasound and you push him away from you.

"I have something for you." you say and stand up before he can do anything.

You walk into the bedroom to get the DVD and when you come back into the room and hold it up he looks at you.

"What is that?"

"The heartbeat of our baby." you say.

"For real?" Tom asks and sits up.

You push the DVD into the recorder and turn it on and soon the rapid heart beat fills the room and your baby appears on screen.

"Wow, it's so fast fast." Tom says in amazement.

"Yes, that is normal though."

You sit on the couch at the moment that Tom slides off the couch and sits down just before the TV.

"The doctor said that the main internal organs are now built and the key external body parts are formed. The risk of miscarriage has decreased quite after 12 weeks. The baby now has fingers that each move apart and the mouth can open and close. The baby is about 6 inches long."

"It's a small miracle." Tom says and you can hear real wonder in his voice.

You also slide off the couch and go sit behind him to let your arms go around his neck and your kiss him under his ear. He puts his hands on yours and together you look to your baby.

"When they can see whether it is a boy or a girl?" he asks suddenly.

"Do you want to know that?"

"I don't know, do you?"

"No, somewhere it is easy with the names and the nursery but it is also nice to let yourself be surprised."

"We don't have to decide right away," he says and looks at you over his shoulder,"I hate to do this but I have to go to the set to shoot a couple of scene's."

"What? You just had a night shoot! He is draining you." you complain.

"It's hard work, darling, but it has to be done and after that, we have the whole evening and the whole day after that to catch up."

"Okay."

He kisses your nose and before he leaves he pulls you up and kisses you again before he leaves you alone. You grab your book again and start to read again and after two hours you become restless and place it away and look outside.

"You want to go out?" Lucas asks.

You jump and look at him, seeing him leaning against the wall.

"How long have you been standing there?" you ask.

"Not long,"he says and walks towards you,"we can go for a ride, isn't there a lake nearby the studio where Tom works?"

"Yes, Lake Ontario."

"We can go there, there are probably all sorts of sales stands and maybe we can go to the studio to pick up Tom." he suggests.

After what happened yesterday, you are a little hesitant. Lucas sees it and gets up to stand in front of you.

"You shouldn't let her get to you, let her dictate how you live."

"I know."

"So, what do you say?"

"Yes, let's go." you say.

Before he can say anything you walk into the bedroom to dress yourself, you choose a dress with tights underneath and a waistcoat over it and sneakers. You walk to the car and Lucas keeps the door open for you so you can get in. After he starts the car he drives away and you already see the lake. When Lucas drives down a hillside and a curve approaches he wants to brake but nothing happens and when the curve comes closer you look at him.

"Lucas, brake." you say.

"I am braking, they don't respond." he says.

"What?"

"The brakes do not work."

Lucas skims through the curve and just barely makes it, you push your fingernails in the seat and your heart jumps into your throat. You're halfway down the slope and the speed continues to increase. When it becomes clear that you are not going to make the next curve Lucas looks at you.

"Hold on."

Lucas gives a tug on the steering wheel and drives into the roadside while trying to dodge the trees, it works for some time until he hits a hurdle with the tyre and the wheel slips out of his hands. You squeeze your eyes shut and when you hear a click you are startled but before you can do anything you feel how Lucas lays his arms around you to protect you during the light blow that follows. However, the blow is hard enough to trigger the airbag and you feel how the airbag pushes Lucas up against you. When you open your eyes you look straight into his blue ones that look at you worried.

"Are you okay?" he asks softly.

You nod, a little dazed but otherwise okay, when Lucas moves his upper body you can feel his stomach muscles move and when he feels for something under the seat you want to ask what he's doing but suddenly the chair shoots back and he comes to lie half on top of you.

"Sorry, I'm sorry."

He puts his hands on the head of your seat and pushes himself up, his eyes sliding over your body to see if you're injured somewhere and when he is satisfied he looks at you again.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yes, really." you reply.

He slowly rises up and gets out on his side of the car to walk around the car and to open your door. You grab his hand and gently he pulls you out of the car but when you're on your legs you wobble suddenly and Lucas lifts you up bride style. You put your arms around his neck and pull yourself up slightly, he drops to his knees and lowers you gently to the ground. Then he gets up and walks back to the car to check the damage and when he comes back, he shakes his head.

"That will not drive anymore." he says.

"What now?" you ask.

"Cab?"

You nod and gently sit down on your knees and after Lucas called a cab he sits on his haunches before you.

"Do you still want to go to the lake?" he asks.

You shake your head.

"Want to go to Tom?"

You nod and when you think about him, you suddenly begin to cry and before you know what happens Lucas slips his arms around your waist and pulls you up against him. He says nothing, just rubs his hands up and down on your back and lets you cry on his shoulder. Your fist your hands in his shirt and when your crying turns into hiccups he lets you go and looks at you. Then a cab stops next to you and he helps you to get upright and you get into the cab and he goes sitting next to you. When you arrive on the set the cab drives to the parking lot and to your surprise, you see a number of people standing in a long queue. When the cab stops Lucas helps you out and soon you see why those people are there, they have cameras with them and pictures on which you recognize Tom and you realize that they are fans. You hold yourself a little aloof from the people and are startled when suddenly someone next to you says your name. You look up and see a young woman standing with dark hair and unconsciously you stand slightly closer to Lucas.

"It's okay, I'm Rose, Tom's assistant."

"Oh, okay, I did not know he had an assistant."

The woman is smiling and looks at the other people before she again addresses you.

"Tom has described how you look, so I recognize you. He has not told you were coming today."

"No, that was not intended, but .... something happened. Can we perhaps go to him?" asks hopefully.

"He's busy shooting but I will bring you to his dressing room." she suggests.

You nod and the woman begins to walk towards the building and you and Lucas follow her until she stands for a large trailer and opens the door.

"You can wait for him here, I will make sure that he is with you as soon as possible."

You nod and go inside the trailer followed by Lucas. When the door is closed you walk to the couch and sit down, Lucas walks up and down and you see that he is massaging his side and he pulls a pained face.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"It's nothing," he says and stretches his back and a painful moan escapes his lips, "my side hurts."

Lucas walks to the mirror and takes off his coat and then pulls his shirt up and you gasp when you see the big blue/purple bruise.

"Oh, my God, Lucas." your breath.

You get up and walk over to him, you push his shirt further up and let your hand slide over the bruise making him cringe.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." you say and pull your hand back quickly.

"It does not matter."

"You have to let someone look at that."

"No, it's nothing ......"

"Lucas, please, there has to be a doctor post here somewhere."

"Y/N?" you suddenly hear.

You look around and see Tom standing, still in costume and the concern is evident on his face. You leave Lucas and walk towards him, he already opens his arms for you and you snuggle in it, looking for the safety and security that only he can give you. He kisses your head and vaguely hear him say to Lucas that he indeed should let a doctor look at that bruise. Without contradicting he nods and walks past you and after some instructions from Tom he leaves. Then he puts a finger under your chin and lifts your head up.

"Rose said you looked distressed, what happened?" he asks.

You sigh and tell him what happened and during your story you see that Tom's face becomes pale and he frames your face with his hands.

"Are you okay, darling?"

"Yeah, fine."

"And the baby?" he asks.

"Think so, I have had no pain. I'm sorry that I drag you away from the set."

"That's okay." he says.

"How long have you got?"

"Actually Guillermo was nearby when Rose told me what happened and he has given me the rest of the day off so I can take you home and you can rest. He hopes you feel good enough tonight to still join him and the rest for dinner."

"He still wants me to come? Even now that I have dragged you off the set and the film will likely be delayed?"

"Oh, it does not appear in cinemas until October next year so we have plenty of time." he smiles.

You give him a faint smile back before he leans forward and gives you a kiss and he leans back.

"I just need to change clothes and then we can go home."

He lets you go and walks to the dressing room to change clothes and you look at him for a moment.

"Looking good, Mr.. Sharpe." you say longingly.

Tom laughs and looks at you, shaking his head as he walks into the small bedroom. Then you suddenly remember that the Jaguar is in ruins.

"I'm so sorry about the Jaguar, Tom." you say softly.

"Do not worry about that, I'm just thankful that you and the baby are okay." he calls from the bedroom.

You sit on the couch and not much later, Tom reappears in jeans and a shirt with his leather jacket over it. He sits down on his knees in front of you and grabs your hands.

"When you feel good enough, I want to take you here again after dinner, we're not filming tomorrow and Guillermo is okay with me showing you the house."

"For real?" you ask and your eyes light up.

"Really, I will give you a grand tour and after I have a surprise for you." he says, and now he gets a twinkle in his eye.

"What kind of surprise?"

"If I would say it isn't a surprise anymore."

"That's true," you say, "can you give me a hint?"

"Hmm, I must think about it."

You just want to say something when the door opens and Lucas enters. Tom stands up of but does not let go your hand and you also stand up.

"And what did the doctor say?"

"Two bruised ribs," he says and lifts his shirt up, "she has wrapped me up."

"Ouch, that must hurt."

"I'll survive."

"What have you actually done that you have suffered such injuries?"

Lucas looks at you and you nod that he should tell it, after his story you hear Tom sigh gratefully.

"I'm glad you were with her to protect her, Lucas."

"That's my job." he says.

"Well, shall we go?"

During the car ride home Lucas sits in front and you're in the back with Tom who holds you the whole time and when you stand before the hotel room he says that you already should go inside and he will follow soon. You frown your eyebrows and look at Lucas and then to Tom again but eventually you walk into the room. Without knowing it you walk to the Jacuzzi and turn on the tap and while it fills you look for an oil to put in. You ultimately choose out lavender, thinking that it is good to get the nerves and tension out of your body just when you drain the bottle you hear footsteps behind you.

"That seems like a wonderful idea, darling." Tom says.

You smile and turn your back to him before you put away the bottle. Tom says that he told Lucas that he needs to take a night off, even if you decide to go to the dinner. Lucas did not agree but Tom insisted that he takes his rest, he is after all with you and he can keep you safe just as well as Lucas and eventually he agreed. Slowly he undresses you, and when his clothes are also on the ground his hands slide from your shoulders to your side, your hips and he slowly lifts you up bridal style. Carefully he steps in the Jacuzzi with you and sits on the bench with you in his lap, the fingers of one hand slowly slide up and down over your spine and his other hand is on your stomach and his thumb gently circles over your skin. You moan softly and the soothing effect of lavender and Tom's administrations make you feel all the tension vanish from your body and eventually you lean up against him sideways. His hand on your stomach moves to your hip and he strokes it gently and you slide a hand over his chest. You press your nose in his cheek and lay your hand on his cheek to turn him towards you and when he does you kiss him lazy and slow, you tongues play with each other and when make you a circular movement with your hips you feel how hard he is and he moans into your mouth. The hand on your hip wanders up and cups a breast, he caresses it and lets his thumb lightly ghosts over your nipple and you move your hips slightly.

"Tell me what you want." he whispers against your lips.

"You."

"How much?"

"So much, I'm so wet for you."

"Well we are in the water ...."

"You're selling yourself short." you interrupt him.

Tom smiles against your lips and you comes up slightly when you feel his hand slipping between your legs and he lets a finger disappear between you folds.

"You are so ready for me are you not?"

"Yes, please ..."

"Sit astride me." he says.

You hurry to do what he says and he smiles at you, you bite your lip to immediately feel a finger on your lips to pull your lip from between your teeth. His other hand wanders down your body and you moan when you feel how he places his erection against your folds, without warning you instantly sink down to take him all the way into you.

"Oh, fuck, y/n." he says and shivers beneath you.

His hands go to your hips and he holds you for a moment to process your sudden movement. You want to know nothing of it and immediately make a circular motion with your hips and you moan. You lay your forehead in your neck while your movements are becoming increasingly desperate, searching for the friction that you need, you put your hands on his knees behind you and arch your back and immediately two lips attach themselves to your nipple, biting and licking . His hands wander over your body and eventually his fingers spread on your back to pull you to him. You slip your fingers in his hair and grabs his curls firmly and give a little tug and he moans into your mouth. While continuing to make circular motions with your hips you draw him up to kiss him. The kiss is compelling and you force his lips apart to invade his mouth, tongues find each other and duel to be the strongest. When you feel you are approaching your peak you bite in his lip until it bleeds and when you cum your back arches again, your muscles tighten around his shaft and you feel how he empties himself inside you. You moan and lay your head on his shoulder as his fingers caress your back, his breath coming in short pant over your neck.

"God, that was ..."

"So good." you finish his sentence.

"Yes, intense too," he says, "you've bitten me."

You lean back and look at him, it's a small cut but it bleeds and you lick it off his lip.

"Yes I did."

"How do I explain that tonight?"

"Blame me." you say to suddenly squeeze your eyes right after and pull a pained face.

"Cramp?"

You nod and you feel Tom's hands go to your belly, he caresses it softly but this time it is a short superficial cramp and when it has passed you feel his arms go around your waist and he lifts you up to set you next to the Jacuzzi. He gives you a towel and while you dry yourself he looks at you.

"Want to get some sleep before we go?"

You think for a moment and look at him.

"No, I feel fine, actually," you say, and put your arms around his waist, "I would rather just lie on the couch with you under a blanket, watching a meaningless talk show before we go."

"Okay."

He kisses your head and both of you for the time pull on a robe and you settle on the couch. While Tom grabs a blanket you open your laptop to look if you have gotten mails and to your surprise you have one from Elsa and Chris and you open it. You immediately see a picture and your mouth drops open in surprise.

"Oh my gosh." you say.

"What? What is it?" Tom says as he comes into the room, face worried.

"Elsa gave birth! Look!"

You slide the laptop to him and his face immediately shows a big smile, there on the laptop is a picture of Chris holding India and Elsa who holds two boys.

"How nice!"

Tom sits down next to you and lays the blanket over you.

"They are about 4 weeks old here, they are called Tristan and Sasha, are they not cute?" you say.

"Incredibly cute, but ours is will be even cuter." Tom says and kisses your cheek.

He goes lying behind you and before you can do anything he pulls you down and you snuggle your back against him while he intertwines your legs. Then his arm goes around your waist and you place your hands on your belly.

"I love you, darling."

"I love you, honey." you reply.


	35. chapter 36

You wake up when you feel light kisses on your shoulder and a hand that slipped under your robe and gently caresses the bottom of your breast. You moan and your hand goes back to lay it on Tom's hip. When he notices that you are awake , he pushes his nose into your neck and then gently bites into your shoulder.

"Sorry I woke you up but it's your fault."

You can only moan a little and your fingers seize his hip as he cups your breast in his hand.

"You're so irresistible, when you are in my arms I simply need to have you." he whispers in your ear.

You press your head back and lay it on his shoulder, his hand massages your breast and he rocks his hips forward and you feel how hard he is. 

"You feel that? Even without doing something you just get me so hard."

You push your hips back and the hand on your breast slides down to slip into your slip and he cups your sex.

"Are you wet for me?" he asks, "let me see."

He pushes your slip aside and lets a finger rubs over your folds, automatically you open your legs for him and you hook your right leg behind his and his searching finger easily slides inside.

"Fuck, I can not get enough of you."

His finger is quickly followed by a second and your breath catches in your throat when he bends them and touches your deepest pleasure spot. Almost immediately he pulls them back making a whimpering sound leaving your throat which turns into a groan when he plays with your clit with his finger. You begin rocking your hips searching for friction and you move with him when he lies on his back so that you're astride him with your back to him. Your robe falls open, revealing a shoulder while your hands move his bathrobe aside and when you push down his boxer his erection jumps free. You lean forward to take it in your mouth but Tom grabs your bathrobe and stops you.

"No, I need to be inside you, I need to be inside you now, y/n, please."

You slide over his thighs while his hands pull your buttocks apart and his shaft slides between your buttocks. His finger searches for you folds and when he finds it, he pushes two fingers inside, you moan and press you hips down, riding his fingers and his breathing falters in his throat. When his fingers leave you, you feel how he sets his erection against your opening and with a short hard thrust up he penetrates you so deeply. You let out a squeal and close your eyes, you feel Tom inhale deeply while he holds still to let you get used to him. After some time you make a circular motion with your hips and you hear him groan in his throat.

"Oh God." you sigh.

Tom begins to thrusts up with short powerful rolls of his hips and with each inward thrust his tip moves over you pleasure spot, you throw your head in your neck and let a long moan to escape your lips.

"Fuck, you feel so divine like this, does it feel good?"

"So good, I feel your so good."

His hands grab your hips and the thrusting goes faster and deeper and you arch your back so he goes deeper and your sigh his name. You feel how he lets a hand move to the inside of your thigh and when he begins to stimulate your clit with his finger your eyes go to it. Upon seeing the administrations to your clit a wave of desire washes through your body and you grab the arm of the couch with one hand while the other gently cups his balls. Tom's movements falter when he feels your fingers moving over his sensitive balls and you begin to push against the arm of the couch to impale yourself on his shaft. He soon resumes his thrusts up while his finger rotates around your clit, pressing, stroking and turning.

"God, I'm close." he gasps.

You feel your climax approaching but before you can do anything he pushes you forward and you almost lie over the armrest of the couch. You feel his knees move beside your legs and they press yours against each other while he begins to thrust, his hands go back to your hips and pulls you towards him with every thrust. When you both feel you peak nearing again his thrust slow down and because your opening is so small you feel him even better. His hands slide up and he cups your breasts in his hands, and after you make a circular motion your climax shakes your whole body, your muscles tighten around his shaft and Tom soon follows. You both breath heavy while you come down from your high and he kisses your shoulder. You're shaking under his touch and he chuckles, pushing his nose into your neck.

"That was amazing, you're unbelievable." he breathes in your ear.

His hands caress your stomach and you let an arm come up to let your fingers disappear in his curls so you can pull him towards you to kiss him. The kiss is slowly and intimate and when you let him go, he licks his lips.

"We have to get dressed." he says.

"I know."

Before you leave Tom goes to see how Lucas is doing and to tell him that your leaving. When he comes back you are just finished and because it is not far and it is dry you decide to walk. While walking your fingers intertwine together and when you walk into the street of the restaurant Tom suddenly draws you to him.

"I do not mean to make you nervous, but there are about five photographers in front of the restaurant."

"What?" you say and look again but you see nothing.

"They keep the photo cameras out of sight until they need them but I know photographers," then he goes standing in front of you and looks at you, "what do you want to do?"

You hesitate a little and before you can say something he takes your hand.

"They are in reasonable distance, what if I go to them and then you just wait a couple of seconds, then you can slip in unnoticed." he suggests.

"Okay."

He gives you a kiss and walks a few meters in front of you, when they see him coming photographers come at him but Tom guides them away from the restaurant and you walk quickly to the door. You look down and the other way and when you've almost reached the door you hear someone calling your name. Automatically you look up and look straight into the eyes of a photographer who at you apologetic looks.

"Oh, crap." you whisper.

"Sorry, love, I could not resist,"he says and then you see he is holding a copy of the magazine Elle, was that today?,"how about a picture of you and Tom together?"

You open your mouth but no sound comes out and you look wide-eyed at Tom who looks at you.

"Come on, one picture of you, to give the fans a face of the woman who has captured the heart of Britain's most eligible bachelor."

Tom smiles and looks at the photographer and then at you again. His smile is infectious as always to you and you smile back. He walks up to you and reaches you his hand that you take hesitant and he draws you to him.

"Here we go." you hear.

Tom presses a kiss on your head and pulls you close and you lay an arm around his waist before you cautiously and a little shy look to the photographers who take their photos.

"You're gorgeous, honey, is she not beautiful, guys?"

"I can understand why Tom has fallen for her." another says.

The rest of the photographers make consenting sounds and vaguely you hear the words lovely and wonderful and the photographers even call you a perfect couple and that makes you blush.

"Even more beautiful when she blushes." evokes a photographer.

Even though your very glad they react like that and that they are nice too you, you can't help but become a little nervous and when Tom notices he holds up his hand.

"Okay, that's enough." Tom says.

He gives you a little push to the door and you turn around to walk away and while Tom opens the door for you you hear the photographers call their thank yous.

"See that wasn't so bad now was it?" he whispers into your ear while walking to the bar.

"No, I must admit that was not as bad as I thought it was."

"They called you beautiful." he says, smiling.

You give him a little nudge in the side making him laugh.

"We were also lucky, some photographers are not as patient as they are."

"Mr.. Hiddleston?" you hear someone say behind you.

"Yes, that's me. And call me Tom, please."

"Some of your company has already arrived, if you would follow me?"

The man walks away and you and Tom follow him to a separate area where two other people already are and they stand up when they see you coming. Tom walks before you and gives them a hand. Then the man to you and takes your hand with his.

"Y/N, it is good to see you, are you feeling a little better?" he asks, and he looks at you.

"Uh, yes, I'm fine."

"What a relief to hear, but where are my manners, I am Guillermo."

"Oh, hi." you answer and smile.

"And this is Mia." you hear Tom say.

You look up and see a woman with blond long hair and a big smile on her lips walking at you, she gives you a hand and you smile.

"Tom has been telling so much about you that I feel that I already know you." she says.

"Oh, is that so? Well, you should not believe everything he says, he is after all an actor." you say with a wink.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Tom asks and looks at you quizzically.

"Those are your words."

"Everyone is already here." a strange voice says.

You turn around and see a man and woman walking towards you the man looks at you and makes a slight bow.

"You must be y/n," he says, "you are even more beautiful than Tom said."

You blush a little and he laughs while he presents himself as Charlie and the woman introduces herself as Jessica. When you sit down you come between Tom and Mia and during dinner you talk about all sorts of things together. Along the way Tom, who is sitting next to Guillermo, starts talking with him about the movie while you get into conversation with Mia and she appears to be a fun, interesting woman and you find out that you have a lot in common. She also asks what exactly happened that afternoon and you tells her of the car accident but let Lisa out of it. She looks at you shocked but tells you she is happy that you are unhurt.

"I heard that Tom takes you to the house after the meal?"

"Yes, I'm so curious, it looked impressive on the pictures."

"It is also impressive, you'll love it. Just like his surprise."

Just when you want to say you can hear Tom clearing his throat, and you look at him, he smiles at you and just leans toward you to kiss you.

"It has to remain a surprise." he says.

"I wasn't going to tell, you put so much effort into it, it would be a waste."

"Okay, now I am really curious about this surprise." you mumble.

When everyone is finished with dinner you have a drink before you and Tom say goodbye. Guillermo takes your hands again and makes you promise that you will soon comes by on set and Jessica and Charlie give you a hand, but to your surprise Mia gives you a hug and says she hopes that you will come to the set too. You walk outside and to you relief the photographers are gone, Tom stops a cab and he gives him the address where to go and fifteen minutes later he sets you off. It is very dark and Tom grabs your hand in his to guide you through the sets and bring you to the house and when you see it looming up before you there goes a shiver through you.

"Oh my God, this is ...."

You have no words for it and you hear Tom chuckling next to you while he stands behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.

"Nice?" he asks.

"Nice is not the right word, rather terrifying." you say.

"From the inside it's more beautiful, I promise you."

"Okay, lead the way, Mr. Sharpe."

Tom rolls his eyes and takes your hand to walk you to the door, a large wooden double door and pushes it open. He allows you to go in making your hand slip out of his own while you walk further into the enormous hall. You look up and turn around, everywhere you look you see drawings engraved in the walls. You walk to a wall and let your fingers glide over it.

"It looks so real." you say amazing.

"It is real," Tom says, and he walks towards you, "this house they built especially for this movie, it has three floors, a basement, elevators that work, bathrooms with taps that actually work."

"Wow, incredible."

You walk further through the hallway into a huge ballroom and when Tom switches on the lights the room lights up. The sides of the room is occupied by big long tables and cabinets. Through the ballroom you come into a living room with a fireplace, more cabinets and other wooden furniture, it also has an upstairs room with a bookcase. Tom looks at it from a distance and when you want to walk to the staircase in the hall he grabs your hand.

"Come on, time for my surprise." he says.

You let yourself be led by him to another smaller room, on the ceiling hangs a large chandelier that lights up the room and every few meters there is a vase with a flower and between the vases is a path of rose petals. Your thoughts go back to the night that you spent at Morgan and you smile when you hear soft music. Tom turns around and takes you in his arms, one arm sliding around your waist and with the other he enfolds yours and kisses it to put it on to his chest. You lay your cheek against his shoulder and close your eyes as you move to the music. You feel how he presses a kiss to your head.

"Never in my life have I had the privilege to have something so worthwhile, something irreplaceable. I never expected that I could ever love anyone as much as I love you, that someone could be so important to me as you are. I always thought that love would come naturally and that when it comes everything changes, that everything would be fine. But to tell you the truth, it is much better than that. Since I was a teenager acting was everything to me, it was my life, my priority over everything, until you appeared in my life. From that moment I knew you were it, you're the one, you're the one with whom I want to be together with for the rest of my life, with whom I want a family, with whom I want everything that life has to offer. From the moment I saw you, you dispelled acting to the background, it was still important of course, but from that moment I had something in my life that was more important, something, some one who became my priority above everything and anything. I promise you that I will always take care of you, to love you and cherish you, to help you with everything you want, to stand behind you, to heal you when you're sick and to make you feel desired and wanted. I will never take your love for granted, I will tell you each day how much I love you, forever."

You frown eyebrows and look up at him.

"Why are you telling me this?"

He smiles and lets your hand go to let it disappear into his pocket and when he takes it out he holds a square box and suddenly he is sitting on one knee before you. You immediately know what he is doing and you put your hands in front of your mouth. Tom opens the box and holds it up.

"Y/N, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

"Oh my God, Tom ..." you say and already feel the tears run down your cheeks.

"Please."

"Yes," you say, "yes, of course I will marry you!"

Tom laughs and takes the ring from the box to slide it on your finger, it fits perfectly and you look at it in the light. It is a simple silver band with a small stone that captures the reflection of light with silver speckles on it.

"I know it's not a big diamond stone, but I will buy one for you if you want."

"No, I love it." you say honestly.

Tom sits down on a chair and pulls you in his lap, his arm snakes around your waist and his other hand he puts under your hand and he looks at the ring.

"It belonged to my mother," he says, "my great grandmother gave it to her daughter when she got married and since then it always proceeded from mother to daughter."

"Shouldn't your mother have given it to one of her daughters then?" you ask but your eyes remain focused on the ring.

"In a way she did, you know just as well as I do that mom has always considered you as a daughter," he says,"she was more then willing to help."

"So that's what you were hiding from me that day." you say.

"I'm sorry, but I wanted it to be a surprise."

"Well, it just about tops my birthday present for you." you frown.

"Let's just call it a tie, okay?" he suggests.

"Sure."

You smile and look at him, leaning forward and kissing him deeply while your arms glide around his neck. His arms go around your waist and pulls you close to him, after the kiss as you look back at your ring and you smile.

"So, when do you want to get marry?" he asks, "before or after the baby is born?"

"Before ," you say right away, "I want to be your wife as soon as possible."

"Good answer, darling."

"And small, I do not want a wedding in which we invite so many people that we can not even see half of them, or must stand for hours to receive all good wishes. I want to be with you as much as possible, I want you to laugh, talk and dance with you."

"Dance? I thought you didn't dance?" he asks.

"Well, it is my wedding day, a dance is part of it and I will have the best teacher in the world."

"And who would that be?"

"My soon to be husband." you say.

"I would love too,"he says and leans forward to give you a kiss,"so, only family and very close friends then." Tom says.

"Yes, and preferably somewhere where the media can be excluded, I know that your fans would like to see pictures but it's our day."

"Then I think I know something, you've ever heard of the Isle of White?"

"No, I don't think so."

"That is an island under England, the horse, Joey, that I have in the film War Horse was born there and eventually died on it. When I heard that, I looked it up, it's beautiful."

"Really?"

"Yes, the island has about 133,000 inhabitants, they have several churches, a few manors that are well maintained, in one of those houses we can give a dinner for guests, the evening before the wedding and there are resorts where guests can stay. And difficult to reach for the media. "

"Sounds perfect."

"Remember it."

"I will do that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so about the Isle of White, I sort off stole that from Ben and Sophie, I hope that if there are ben fans reading this that I didn't upset you. I just thought it was so beautiful and a really great place to make sure that day is only filled with friends and family.


	36. chapter 37

You feel that Tom lifts you up and walks away when you suddenly hear a loud scream and your hair is gripped to then be pulled out of Tom's arms, you are lying dazed on the ground and see from your peripheral vision that Tom gets a slap in the face and then the shape comes for you and before you can do anything she grabs your hair and pulls you roughly to your feet. She stands behind you and you see that Tom looks at her with dismay in his eyes, hands in front of him indicating that he will remain at a distance.

"Lisa, please let her go." he begs.

Lisa, of course, that you should have known, Tom moves one step in your direction while Lisa continues to walk backwards and pulls your hair until she stands against the wall.

"Why? Why did you do this, Tom? This," she says and holds your hand with the ring up, "belongs to me, it belongs to sit around my finger, pushed up there by you! You belong with me, you are mine. "

"Will you please let her go?" he says again.

"So that you can live happily ever after?"

"I beg you ..."

"No!"

You cringe and your eyes get big when you suddenly feel a knife at your throat, Lisa pressed it so tightly against your skin that you are convinced that it can go through anytime and you try turning away but Lisa gives a pull on your hair.

"Do not hurt her." Tom says.

Suddenly she points the knife on Tom and he straightens his back, refusing to give up. Then you suddenly think of your baby and your hands go to your belly, Lisa did not miss this and she looks in disbelief at Tom.

"Oh my God, she is pregnant with you?"

Tom opens his mouth to say something but before he gets the chance she slams on a button and next to you elevator doors open. Your eyes go to it, and you are startled when you see that the elevator is not there. You begin to fidget in her grasp when she steps towards the hole and your eyes lock onto Tom and you see the horror in it. You know what will happen and you mouth I love you at him before Lisa jumps in the whole and you hear the shriek that Tom lets out when you disappears followed by the calling out of your name before you lose consciousness.

At the time Lisa jumped in the elevator shaft with you Tom sped to the edge and threw himself on the ground, peering into the dark space, he tries desperately to catch a glimpse of you. Suddenly he stands up and runs to the stairs leading to the basement and he runs so fast as he almost trips and falls. Down the stairs, he pauses, he's only been here once, he has know idea where he should be going. When he sees a switch and turns it on there is a faint light in the basement.

"Y/N?" he cries and listens but hears nothing, "y/n, please answer me!"

When he still hears nothing he starts walking around and soon he sees you, he runs to you and falls to his knees beside you.

"Y/N", he says and caresses your face, "please open your eyes, look at me, darling."

He raises some debris away from you and then lets his eyes slide over your body, your clothes are torn and you're covered with scratches, bruises and smudges. He desperately wants to gather your against him but he does not know whether you are injured and he does want to not make it worse. Then he grabs his phone and looks at the screen, no range, he curses and looks at you he really doesn't want want to leave you but he has no choice.

"I'll be back as soon as possible darling." he says and gives you a kiss.

He runs outside, looking for a place where he has range and calls a ambulance for you, and when he comes back he sits next to you and grabs your hand in his. When the paramedics come they examine you, your pulse is weak and before they lay you on a gurney they attach a neck brace with you and then they lay you as gently as possible on the gurney. While they walk with you to the ambulance Tom holds your hand and takes place on the bench in the ambulance beside you. Once at the hospital you are wheeled into a room and Tom gets told he must wait outside until they are ready. He nods and before the close the door he tells them you are about 12 weeks pregnant before he sits down on a chair.

After Tom has waited minutes, or hours (?), he has lost all sense of time, a doctor sits next to him but he does not notice, the only thing he has eyes for is the door behind which the love of his life, the mother of his child, his fiancée, is fighting for her life and that of their unborn child. When the doctor lays a hand on his shoulder, he jerks and looks at him.

"Doctor ..." he says.

"She is out of danger, and the child."

"So they will be okay? Both of them?" he asks hopefully.

"Yes, Mr.. Hiddleston."

"Thank you, and call me Tom, please."

"Tom, she had internal bleeding, but we managed to stop that, further one eye is blue and her lip was ripped, plus her nose was bruised."

"Can I see her?"

"We keep her asleep tonight so her body can recover. I can assure you that she will sleep until at least tomorrow morning, I suggest you do the same."

"I'm not leaving her." Tom says, and his eyes go to the door.

"I understand your reluctance to leave but I promise you that she is in good hands and one of the nurses recognized you, you are here to shoot a film so you need your rest."

"Oh God ...." Tom says and runs his hands through his hair, "the set, we were on the set, we've ruined it, Guillermo will kill me."

"Well, I'm not an expert of set's but they can be replaced, a life is irreplaceable, two lives in this case."

"Yes of course," Tom looks at him and bites his lip as, "I can not leave her."

"Okay," the doctor says and looks around, "you know what, I'm going to arrange a room for you then you can sleep there."

"Thank you."

"You can of course go to her but not too long, she needs to rest." the doctor says before he walks away and leaves Tom alone.

Tom continues to sit for a minute before he gets up and walks to the door, he opens it slowly and when he walks into the room and sees your state it brings tears to his eyes. Your face is clean but he clearly sees fresh cuts across your cheeks and your nose is blue, just like your eye and there is a drip in your arm and a tube in your nose. He walks to the edge of the bed and he plays a bit with your fingers, letting his go over your ring before he slowly let's them go up over your arm, avoiding the cuts with his fingers. He pushes a strand of hair behind your ear before he puts his hand on your cheek and leans forward to give you a kiss, closing his eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry that I didn't stop her, darling. For not doing something, anything, for failing you, again....,"Tom takes a deep breath to steady his shaking voice and looks at you again,"rest now, sleep, I'll stay close, I'll stay with you, I love you."

He gives you another kiss before he brings his face to just above your belly and he lays a hand on.

"And I love you too, little one." he says and pressed a kiss on your stomach.

Then he looks at you again before he walks away and goes to his room which lies a few rooms from yours, preferably he had stayed in the room with you but there is not enough room for a bed and he knows that when he would sleep on the couch or in a chair he will be broken tomorrow. He sets the alarm on his phone for five o'clock, he wants to go and see you before he goes to the set to talk to Guillermo and hope that he will not be fired with immediate effect because of destroying the set. Then suddenly Lucas flashes through his head, who is in his hotel room and Tom makes a mental note to call him to make sure he's in the hospital before he goes to the set. When he is lying, he closes his eyes, but all he does that night is toss and turn. When the alarm sounds, he barely slept an hour and groaning he hoists himself out of bed. Normally he would take a shower now but he immediately puts his clothes on and walks to you room. He looks through the glass window and sees that you are still asleep, he sighs and pressed his forehead against the glass, thinking back to the previous evening, searching for a moment he could have done something. Maybe when he got a slap in the face or when she walked towards you but honestly he was too surprised, too bewildered to react and therefore you lie here. He pushes himself away from the glass and takes his phone to call Lucas and despite the early hour he picks up almost immediately.

"Tom?"

"Yes, it's me."

"Why are you calling me? I mean, you're in the room next to me?"

"No, no I'm not, I'm in the hospital." he says.

"What?" he says and Tom hears the panic in his voice.

"Something happened last night."

"Is y/n okay?"

It remains silent on the phone and Tom looks at you through the glass.

"Tom, is she's all right?" it sounds compelling.

"Yes, she will be."

"What does that mean?"

"That means she is currently recovering but everything will be fine."

"And the baby?"

"The baby is fine too."

"What happened?"

"Can you please come over here right away? I will explain it to you then."

"Okay, I'll be right there."

Tom tells him the floor on which you lie and in what room before he hangs up and walks into your room, he sits on the edge of the bed and grabs your hand. He lifts it up and pressed a kiss on your palm before he puts it in his.

"Tom."

Tom turns his face and sees the doctor from yesterday night standing, he smiles and walks to the edge of the bed to look at him.

"She will sleep for a few more hours."

"I have to go soon, I want to be the first on set to tell what happened. There's someone coming that will stay with her as soon as he is here then I leave."

"Okay."

The doctor sees how Tom plays with the ring on your finger and turns it.

"Is she your wife?" he asks.

"No, but she will be, I have asked her last night and she said yes." he smiles.

"Congratulations." the doctor says.

"Thank you."

Then suddenly the door swings open and Tom and the doctor see Lucas standing with a bewildering look in his eyes.

"Oh God, look at her." he says.

"It looks worse than it is." Tom says and he stands up but remains to hold your hand.

"She looks like she was run over by a truck!"

"I must ask you to lower your voice, sir." the doctor says.

Lucas looks at him and his face becomes calmer.

"I'm sorry," then he looks at Tom, "what happened?"

"I'll leave you alone." the doctor says and walks away.

Tom tells him what happened and along the way Lucas' eyes wander to you and he walks to the edge of the bed. When Tom is done Lucas looks at him.

"I should have gone with you, this would not have happened."

"It was dark, Lucas, it's a big house, several entrances she had probably found a way."

"Not on my watch. Why haven't you done something?" he says, and his tone sounds accusatory but Tom takes no notion of it.

"I've already asked myself that question many times, I was just blindsided."

"So when you see that the love of your life is abused you stand looking as a defeated man and do nothing?"

"What?"

"You say you love her so much, but this is the second time she ended up in the hospital and you were there both times!"

"That first time you were there too! And this, I never expected this! And if you had done your job and had caught her before she jumped on a plane to Toronto this wouldn't even have happened!"

Lucas bites his teeth and walks to Tom and when he stands in front of him he gives Tom a push.

"And where is Lisa? She jumped into the elevator shaft with y/n. She was probably lying somewhere near her, did you tie her up? Did you call the police?" he asks.

"No, I .... y/n lay unconscious and bleeding on the ground, I have not even looked at whether Lisa was there."

"So she is still around somewhere? Thanks to you, she will get another chance."

"No, I ...." his eyes go to you, but he knows that he can not be with you continuously while filming a movie, "I can not keep her safe."

"No you can't." Lucas says.

"I need to go to the set tell what happened and likely to be fired. I want you to stay with her until I get back."

"Of course. I will not leave her side."

"Thank you."

Tom walks over to the bed and gives you a kiss and promises you that he will come back quickly before he walks away and leaves you alone with Lucas. He walks over to the bed and looks at your battered face and lays his hand against it just to let it slide over your arm to your hand and he grabs it. Then he suddenly sees the ring you wear and he realizes that Tom has asked you to marry him and you said yes. Lucas shakes his head and without even realizing it he entwines his fingers with yours. Suddenly he becomes drowsy and because the wooden back of the chair stabs in his sore ribs he lays his head next to your hand. Before he knows it, he falls asleep.

When he later opens his eyes and looks up he looks right into your eyes and he shoots up.

"Hey there." you say.

"Hello." he answers hesitantly.

"This is nice, waking up with a handsome man at my side holding my hand."

"What?" Lucas answers, somewhat surprised by your words.

"Yes, I wake up in a hospital with a tube in my nose and an IV in my arm and just when I start to panic I saw you and, well, I can get used to waking up to a handsome man holding my hand."

Lucas frowns and looks around but you are alone, then he turns back to you.

"You know what happened?" he asks gently.

"No, but given my injuries it had to hurt," then you bite your lip and you look at him closely, "who are you?"

"Who am.....what?" Lucas asks surprised.

"Yes, I can not keep calling you 'that handsome man'." you laugh.

"Right," Lucas says, and he sits up,"do you know your name?"

"What? Of course I know my name, it's......." suddenly you fall silent and your eyes get wide,"I'm.....oh my God, I don't know my name."

You lay your hands over your mouth and look frightened at Lucas, he gets up and comes to you.

"How could I not know my name? I have to know my name, I don't understand."

You become entirely panicked and you almost start hyperventilating, Lucas sits on the edge of the bed and on a whim he slip his arms around your waist and he draws you towards him. Your arms go around his shoulders and you feel tears in your eyes.

"Okay, it's okay ..."

"How can you say that? I do not know who I am, that's not right."

"I know, calm down, I'm here, I've got you."

"Do you know who I am?"

Luke bites his lip, he knows very well that is not up to him to tell you who you are and so he decides to get you to calm down first. He lets his hands slide over your back until your breathing returns to normal and then you look at him. He wipes away your tears and he smiles at you making you smiles back faintly.

"Sorry." you say.

"That's okay, but you don't remember anything?"

You bite your lip and think to almost start crying again when you realize that you really do not know anything, Lucas sighs and stands up but you grab his hand and pull him towards you.

"Where are you going? You can't leave me." you say.

"I'm not leaving you, I am going to get the doctor. He needs to know your awake and he needs to know you don't remember anything. I promise I will be back soon, okay?"

"Okay." you say and let him go.

Before you can do something he gets up and walks away leaving you behind confused. You sit up straight and pull up your knees to lay your arms around them and not much later Lucas comes back with the doctor.

"I hear that you don't remember anything?"

You shake your head and your eyes go to Lucas and when he comes to stand next to you, you take his hand firmly and he looks at you. The doctor takes a light pen and asks you to look up. You do what he says and when the doctor shines in your eyes your pupils react normally. Then the doctor asks you all kinds of questions but you know none of the answers and out of desperation you lay your head on your knees. Lucas looks at you, hating to see you like this and he sits down next to you to lay his arm around your shoulder and you lean against him.

"What now?"

"I want to make a CT scan, in order to ensure that she does not have brain damage." he says.

"Your awake." you suddenly hear.

All three of you look up and when Lucas sees Tom standing, he immediately steps away from you. When his hand slips from yours you look at him, but when Tom sits next to you and takes you in his arms you freeze. Tom notices your restraint and lets go to look at you.

"What? What is it darling?"

"Darling?"

Tom looks at you not understanding and then looks at the doctor.

"She has amnesia." he says.

"What?"

Tom looks at you in disbelief, but the look in your eyes says enough to him, he sees no recognition in your eyes.

"Nothing?" he asks at you.

You shake your head and watch how Tom slides his hand under yours with the ring and holds it up.

"So you do not remember that I gave you this ring last night?"

Again you shake your head and you look at the ring.

"I'm sorry, but seeing the fact that I am wearing it means I said yes, making you my fiancee."

"And you mine." he says and smiles at you.

You smile and look away but Tom puts his hand against your cheek and turns your face towards him. He looks at you intently and suddenly you think you see something in those eyes, those bright blue eyes which you recognize. Tom notices it and raises his eyebrows.

"What? Do you remember something?" he asks hopefully.

"No, but your eyes," you reach your hand out to his face and lay it against his cheek and he leans into the touch, "your eyes look familiar."

Outside your eyesight the doctor beckons Lucas that they should leave you alone and they slowly walk away. You let your fingers slide over his face, his jaw, his nose and when your finger softly moves over his lip, his breathing hitches and he closes his eyes. You notice the change in him and smile, eyes moving over his frame and you bite your lip. Tom responds by pulling it from between your teeth and your eyes flicker up to him. For a moment you just look at each other, both not really knowing what to do.

"Can I.....can I hold you?" Tom asks.

"Yeah, sure."

Slowly he moves forward and while he keeps looking at you for some form of hesitation but when it doesn't come he slips his arms around your waist and yours move over his arms to go around his neck. When his arms encircle you he breaths out en lays his forehead on your shoulder while one hand cups the back of your head. Your fingers weave through his hair and automatically they start playing with his curls making him laugh.

"What?" you ask.

"No, nothing just....you always play with my curls."

"I do?"

"Yes, it's nice. It feels good."

"It does." you agree.

He lets you go and looks at you, he is so close you feel his breath on your face and his eyes flicker to your lips. Carefully he moves closer but when your lips almost touch you move away.

"I'm sorry, I can't." you whisper.

You hear him sigh an breath and you instantly feel guilty.

"I don't know you, Tom, this may sound stupid but for me....your a stranger."

"I understand."

"But when I get out of here you can tell me all about who I am and how our life looked like and we can do all sort of things together."

"Yeah that might be a problem."

"What do you mean?"

"I will be gone during the day to work."

"Oh of course, how silly of me. What kind of work do you do?"

"I'm an actor."

"For like in tv shows?"

"In the beginning, I'm in movies now."

"In big movies?" you ask and look at him smiling.

"Yes, pretty big ones." he smiles back.

"So, your a big famous movie star then?"

"Something like that. I'm here to shoot my latest."

"Your here? You mean that normally your not here?" you ask uncertain.

"No, were in Toronto, Canada. Our home is England."

"Our home? So I came with you to keep you company?"

"Something like that, it's complicated and a long story." he says and pinches the bridge of his nose.

"Well, explain it to me then, I'm not going anywhere." you say.

"Before I do that, there is something you should know."

"What?"

"Well, your, like 14 weeks pregnant."

"I'm what?" you say and blink your eyes.

"Pregnant, 14 weeks."

His eyes got to your stomach and yours follow, you place your hands on it and look at him again.

"And your the father, I presume?"

"Yes." he smiles and his eyes sparkle.

"And your happy about that."

"So happy, this child will be so spoiled."

You laugh and push yourself up to sit against the headboard.

"So, you know me the best, tell me who I am."

Tom tells you everything he knows about you which isn't really that much because you never talked about your family and he never asked, so he begins where you two met and how you stayed into contact. About the night he stood on your doorstep and you smile at that. How you sold your house and left your job to life with him in London. When he comes to the part that involves Lisa he starts to look at you closely, seeing your eyes change from disbelieving to even a little scared. And that he went to set this morning to tell Guillermo what had happened and that he was afraid to get fired but luckily Guillermo took it good, the only thing he asked was how you were and if the baby was okay.

"So that's why I came with you? Because she hasn't been caught yet and then she took a flight here and that's why Lucas is here, to protect me."

You think about what happened last night, how Lisa pulled you into the elevator shaft with her and your hands move to your stomach.

"I could have lost the baby." you whisper.

"I know, I was so scared I had lost you both." he says and you hear the fright in his voice.

Then someone knocks on the window and you both look up, seeing the doctor standing and Tom waves him in.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine."

"No headache? Nausea? Pain?"

"No, I feel fine."

"Good, I think I can skip the CT-scan then. I would like to keep you hear overnight to make sure your really okay."

"Sure."

The doctor nods and turns but Tom stops him.

"This memory loss is that permanent?"

"Most cases show that the memory can come back after some time, but it is important that the person in question is in familiar territory. Buildings and places she knew, people she knew. I understand that this is not your home so I recommend you, if you want your memory back to return to London as soon as possible."

This time the doctor does walk away and Tom bows his head, you reach over and take his hand in yours which attracts his attention.

"I am sorry," you say and smile vaguely,"but the doctor is right, it is better for me to go back to London, there I have more chance to regain my memory. All the important things from my past are there."

"So I'm not important to you anymore?" Tom says suddenly.

"Tom ...."

"I'm sorry, I did not mean that."

"It does not matter, we can call."

"I know, but that's not the same, I can't win your heart back when I'm not with you."

"I know."

"I want to go to our hotelroom to get something for you, it's a scrapbook with pictures of us and some of our friends, maybe it triggers something."

"Sounds good." you say.

"Let me call Lucas to tell him and keep you company."

"Okay."


	37. Update

So because I am having trouble fulling the chapters I decided to stop updating on Wednesday, I hope you will understand and have patience with me, dear readers!


	38. Chapter 38

Tom stands and calls Lucas to tell him and not much later he walks into your room, by this time Tom is standing in front of the window and your curled up in bed. He looks at you then at Tom and then at you again.

"Everything okay?" he asks.

Tom turns and you look at Lucas while you slowly sit up.

"Yes, fine, can you stay with her while I'm gone?" he asks.

"Sure."

Without even giving you a kiss Tom walks away and leaves you with Lucas again who sits down in the chair next to the bed.

"Did you have a fight?" he asks.

"No, but the doctor said that if I want my memory back I must return to London, familiar ground." you say and shrug your shoulders.

"You are going back?"

"Yes, as soon as possible. Therefore, Tom was suddenly so .... aloof. He doesn't like not being able to help me in this situation."

"I understand, I'll go with you. Lisa is still walking around somewhere, you're still in danger, I will not leave you alone."

You find the prospect that Lucas will remain with you comfortable and you smile. He takes your hand and squeezes it. Suddenly your face twists and your free hand goes to your stomach, without asking anything Lucas sits on the edge of the bed and pulls your back against his chest so that he can lay your joined hands on your stomach and his chin on your shoulder .

"It's okay, just breathe." he says as his fingers gently caress your stomach.

You close your eyes and do what he says, you feel the cramps soon move away and when they are you slide a away from him a little to look at him.

"Thank you."

When the door opens you both look up to see a gynecologist walking in with equipment to place next to your bed.

"Hello, my name is Sue-Ann and I am here for an ultrasound, that is if you want one?" she asks and smiles.

"Yes, that would be great," you say,"but I think it's better if I wait untill Tom is back, he is after all the father, he has the right to be here."

"Sure, of course, I will let this here and just call me when he is back." she says before she leaves again.

After she is gone you look at Lucas again and you must admit that he is a very handsome and even beautiful man to see and you also notice the similarities he shares with Tom, the blue eyes, the lean form and despite that you could feel his stomach muscles when he held you and suddenly you wonder what your life would be like if you would have met Lucas before Tom. Lucas notices that you are watching him and he smiles while looking at you.

"What?" he asks.

"No nothing, just....I just noticed how much you look like Tom and....well, I just wondered what would have happened if I had met you first." you softly say.

Lucas freezes and stands up, creating some distance between you.

"Well, you didn't so it's uselus to think about what could have been, isn't it? Your with Tom, your carrying his child, your wearing his ring."

You hold your hand up and look at the ring, the ring that undoubtedly has a meaning for Tom but says nothing to you except that it is a piece of jewelry and suddenly you slide it from your finger.

"What are you doing?" Lucas says.

"I can not wear it, I don't know Tom, I remember nothing of him. How can I wear an engagement ring from someone when I do not remember him, when I do not remember our love, Lucas?"

Lucas looks at you and he knows that you're right, he pinches the bridge of his nose and sits down in the chair.

"Okay, that's true."

Then Tom comes back into the room and he immediately sees that you have taken off his ring.

"Why have you taken off my ring?" he asks, and you hear the panic in his voice.

"I'll go ..... I'm in the hallway." Lucas says and walks away.

Tom sits down on the edge of your bed and looks at you quizzically. You see the pain in his eyes that your action has caused and you place your hand on his cheek.

"I don't want to hurt you but I can not wear a ring that symbolizes a love that I do not remember."

Slowly the look in his eyes changes from hurt into understanding and he nods but when you want to give him the ring he shakes his head.

"No, I do not want it back, it feels too much like I'm losing you and that .... I can not accept," he stands up and retrieves the box out of his pocket to place it in, he gives it to you, "keep it for when you remember that love again because you will, I will do everything to ensure that you remember how much we loved each other."

"Okay." you agree.

You put the box on the table beside the bed and look at the book and then you see there are also some magazines there.

"What's with the magazines?" you ask.

"Oh, there's something in it I want to show you." he says.

"Okay, but before we do that, there is something else we need to do first." you say and nod to the equipment.

"Oh okay."

Tom calls the gynecologist and you slide down so you are lying while Tom sits up and the gynecologist lays the blanket over you so that you can slide up the hospital gown. The gynecologist squeezes some gel from a tube on your stomach to rub and switches the equipment on and goes over your belly with the doppler. You immediately get a smile on your lips when you hear his heartbeat and see the little one on the screen.

"Looks good, you're about 14 weeks now," the gynecologist says and looks at you, "with most women the nausea and cramps stops but if it doesn't, do not panic, some will have them throughout their pregnancies. This is also the point at which a miscarriage basically no longer happens so most people tell family and friends this period to."

You nod and when the gynecologist and she moves the equipment away she gives Tom some papers to clean your stomach. He takes them but first looks at you before he does something. You nod and carefully he wipes your stomach clean with the paper and when he is done he tosses them away and sits down next to you on the bed.

"We have recently come out with the news that we are together, the magazine Elle named me Man of the Year and that includes a trophy which they have brought and we decided to only give them your name, yesterday evening we had dinner in the city, with Guillermo, Mia, Jessica and Charlie, who also play in the film and in front of the restaurant were a few photographers, you secretly attempted to sneak in while I distracted them but one of them called out your name and you looked up, "he says and takes one of the magazines and browses through it," these are from last night. "

He gives you the magazine and you take it, there is one large and two smaller pictures of you together and you have to admit that you look quite nice and with Tom you form a lovely couple.

"Wow, I'm actually ... beautiful." you say surprised.

"You're always beautiful." Tom says.

You smile and watch how Tom lays the other magazines in front of you on the right page. You let your eyes go over the pictures and sometimes you read a piece, the one who wrote them are also very positive and several times you see the words "young couple in love" and "lovely couple". There is also a magazine that writes about the undoubtedly many girl and women hearts that will be broken now their dream man has lost his heart to "the beautiful y/n".

"Can I keep them?" you ask.

"Of course, but I would also have one for myself, or at least a picture of us together."

You nod and put the magazines on top of each other before taking the scrapbook. When you it open your see separate photographs and you spread them out on your bed. You look at them carefully and sometimes you grab one to get a better view. There are not many of you and Tom together, they are mainly from Tom but then you come across a photo of a long slender man with long dark hair that is combed back and you pick it up.

"Who is this?" you ask.

"That's Loki, I play him in the movie Thor and The Avengers, in that role it all started." he says.

"I can imagine, you're gorgeous."

Tom chuckles beside you and hands over another photo, one of the photographs which was made on his birthday celebration.

"Who are they?" you ask.

Tom tells you that that picture was taken during his birthday in early februari.Tom shows you a photo where your on together with Chris, Elsa, Ken and Lindsey and Tom explains to you who they are and that he owes his role as Loki to Ken and that Ken has taught him everything he knows and thus sees him as a mentor. He also tells you that you have given him the pregnancy test that night to tell him that he would become a father. You smile and look at him.

"That was the best gift I've ever had." he says.

You look before you again to look at the pictures again, one showing you with Tom, then you and Elsa, along with Chris but also with the others, Ken and Lindsey. You notice pretty soon that you are often with Elsa on the photo's and Tom much with Chris and Ken. Then you push them to the side and grab the book, you immediately see the clippings and reviews of the play Coriolanus you collected and you read them carefully. You quickly come to the conclusion that Tom played the leading role, and according to the writers of them all he carried the play and when you say that to him he insists that the success is attributable to everyone, down to the prop people and not just to him.

"It adorns you, that selflessness. I can imagine that it is rare among successful actors."

"It's normal, I think, I do live a non ordinary life but I am no better or worse than another."

You browse through the book and when you are done you close it and you sigh deeply.

"Nothing?" Tom says.

"I'm sorry."

"That does not matter," he says and cautiously lays an arm around you, "it'll come back, you just have to give it time."

You lean against him and you feel how he pressed a kiss on your head.

"I'm tired."

"Then you have to sleep, I'll get the pictures, you lie down."

You do what he says, and when you lie Tom lays the magazines and the scrapbook on the table beside your ring. He takes your hand and gives it a kiss before he lays it back on the bed.

"Go to sleep." he says.

"Will you be here when I wake up?"

"Of course, I'm not going anywhere, darling." he says before he sits down in the chair and you fall asleep.

And as he has promised you, Tom is there when you wake up, holding your hand and bent over with his head next to it, sleeping. You slide forwards and bring your head to his face and on a whim, place a kiss on his cheek. Tom stirs a bit but does not wake up and when he softly whispers your name you smile. You wish so fervently that you can remember him, that you can remember the love you shared. Tom seems an amazing sweet caring guy and you're sure he will be a good dad to your child. Despite that you have to go and must leave him you are sure you will be together again one day even when you may not get back your memory. If your love really was as strong as he claims then that can not suddenly be gone, that love is still somewhere inside you, like all memories of your life and all the things you've been through together, you just can not reach it. You make a promise to yourself that when you are back in London again to go to his sister as soon as possible, your sure she can help you. While you are thinking you don't notice Tom has woken up but when he kisses your hand you look at him.

"Hey you." you say.

"Hey," he says, sounding sleepy, "I must have fallen asleep."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes of course, everything." Tom says and sits up.

"How long we have lived with your sister?"

"Couple of weeks."

"Could we get on well with each other?"

"Are you kidding? You and Emma were best friends," he says, smiling, "and with their youngest, Levi, you got along really well. He adores you, which only proves that you'll be a great mom."

"And the house we bought? Could I maybe go there?"

"Yes of course, it's also your house, there are just no furnishings, you did look with my father, but you have not ordered anything I believe."

"Hmm, gives me something to do." you say.

"You can buy whatever you want, I rely entirely on you."

"I hope you don't regret that when it is finished." you laugh.

"I'm sure I won't." he says, laughing too.

"Do you think they let me go to the cafeteria?"

"I do not know, I can ask the doctor if you want." he suggests.

You nod and Tom gets up to walk away and when he comes back he has a nurse with him.

"The doctor think it is fine." he says.

The nurse gently takes the tube off your nose and drip off your arm and places it on the bed. You sit on the edge of the bed, but before you can stand Tom reaches his hands to you. Without thinking, you take them and gently slide off the bed and you stand on your legs. When you take a step, however, you almost bag through your knees and you feel how Tom circles his arms around your waist and pulls you into him.

"Careful." he says.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, darling."

You giggle and lay your head against his shoulder.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine, it's just....I like it when you call me that."

"Darling?"

"Yes, I might not remember being yours but somehow it feels naturally to be called that by you."

"Good, because I will keep saying it then, darling." he says, whisperig the last word in your ear and you shiver making him chuckle.

Slowly he takes some distance from you, he does keeps one arm around your waist so he can hold you and helps you in the dressing gown that you put around your body. When you walk down the hallway you see Lucas standing, he is leaning against the wall and when your eyes find each other he smiles at you and you smile back.

"Should we not ask Lucas?" you suddenly asks.

"Yeah, sure , if you wish." Tom says, and you think you hear a bit of disappointment in his voice.

"I mean, he's been here all day, maybe he's hungry."

"Yes of course." Tom says.

He beckons Lucas to come to you, and when he stands beside you Tom pressed on the elevator button. During the walk to the cafeteria Lucas asks you whether the scrapbook has helped and when you say no he frowns.

"I'm sorry." he says.

"Yes, me too." you sigh.

While eating you realize how hungry you are, it's been a while since you've eaten for the last time and when you notice that the two men look at you, you stop and look at them one by one.

"What?" you ask.

"Nothing, it's just good to see you eat, the first three months of your pregnancy you suffered from cramps and had to vomit so often you eat too little." Tom explains.

"I hope that the gynecologist was right when she she it's over after three months."

"Me too, it was not easy to watch you hang over the toilet bowl and to see you with pain from the cramps. I could not do anything for you, I could not help you, that was terrible."

"Maybe you should then remain in the waiting room during childbirth, which can be very violent." you say smiling.

"Never, I want to be there when you bring our baby into the world." Tom says.

He reaches across the table and grabs your hand, you lace your fingers together and when you look at him you feel like you are the only one in the world for him.

"When are you going back to London? "

"When they let me go here." you say.

"And you stay with her." he tells Lucas.

"Yes of course, I will not leave her, I'll make sure I can always see the house and the front door."

"Maybe it's better if you stay inside the house." Tom says suddenly.

"Inside the house?" Lucas says surprised.

"Lisa has been inside once before, if she succeeds again then I want you to be with y/n immediately. I need to know that she is safe, now more then ever seeing I have a film to shoot that needs my undiveded attetion."

"The house is big enough." you say.

"Okay, I'll stay inside."

"Thank you."

Once you are back in your room, Tom helps you in bed while Lucas keeps standing next to the door. When your in bed again you go lying on your side and Tom sits down in the chair, he takes your hand in his, and with the other he slides a stray lock of hair behind your ear. You yawn and close your eyes for a moment and you open them again when you feel Tom's lips on your forehead.

"I'll stay here tonight, in a room just down the hall."

"You do not have to."

"I know, but I want to and as long as Lisa is still out there, you are not safe." he explains.

"And Lucas?"

"Lucas can just go to the hotel, maybe he can order tickets for you before he comes to pick you up."

"Okay."

Tom stands up and walks towards Lucas to tell him that he can go to the hotel, he looks over Tom's shoulder at you and you think you see him reluctantly agreeing. When he comes Tom to you and takes your hand again as he leans towards you.

"Go to sleep, I am close if you need me, okay?"

You nod and he kisses your cheek before he walks away and leaves you alone. The next morning you wake up early and after you've been awake for a while you step out of bed carefully. You walk to the door and open it gently to walk into the hallway and after you have looked inside two rooms you see in the third how Tom is still asleep. You open the door carefully and walk in, you stand beside the bed and just look at him. He lies on his back with one arm above his head and the other over his waist, the sheet is around his hips and your eyes wander over his bare chest. You bite your lip and must admit that he is in very good shape but maybe that is expected when you are an actor. You reach out your hand and let your finger lightly move over his muscles which twitch under your touch and Tom stirs but does not wake up. However you do hear how he softly whispers your name and you smile while your eyes go up again, and finally come to his face. You realize that he is a gorgeous man and you wonder what you did that he loves you so much. On a whim you lift the sheet and climb next to him in bed, you put your head on his shoulder and your arm carefully around his waist. You close your eyes and listen to his slow breathing and his steady heartbeat and it almost lulls you back to sleep when you suddenly feel how he presses a kiss to your head.

"Good Morning." he says.

"Morning." you reply.

You feel him stretching his body benauth you before he carefully puts an arm around your shoulders while the fingers of his other hand entwine with yours.

"I'm sorry I woke you up."

"That's okay, I can not imagine to be woken in a better way."

He reaches a hand to you and puts a finger under your face to lift it so he can look at you.

"I've missed this, waking up with you in my arms."

You smile and unconsciously move slightly closer to him, the arm around your waist tightens and pulls you up a little while you also move up. He cups your cheek with his hand and pulls you closer to him and you can hear his breathing falter when his lips are so close that you can feel his breath on your skin. You close your eyes and wait for the moment when your lips touch each other when suddenly the door opens and the moment is gone. You and Tom let go of each other and you look over your shoulder to see the doctor in the doorway.

"Oh, here you are," he says but stops abruptly when he sees you, "I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"Uh, no, I was just ....." when you feel movement beside you look around and see that Tom is sitting on the edge of the bed, still breathing heavy,"what is it?"

"I have your discharge papers with me, you have to only sign them and then you may go."

"Great." you say.

You pick up the paper and immediately put your signature on it. When the doctor is gone Tom turns his head and looks at you.

"You should go back to your room to get dressed, I'll call Lucas that he can pick you up and then I will call Emma that your coming back."

"Okay, thank you."

Tom nods and kisses your hand before you stand up and walk outside of the room, leaving him alone but before you walk away you turn around and look at him, seeing how he lays his head in his hands and shakes his head, god he was so close to kissing you and it felt good, but you also realize that being with you but not being able to touch you or kiss you is more difficult for him then you thought. When you are alone in your room again you get dressed, you put your things in a plastic bag and you lay the magazines on top of it, then you grab the box with the ring and you open it to look at it. It is a simple ring but you think it's stunning and you smile.

"You thought it was beautiful." you hear Tom say and you look up seeing him standing in the doorway.

"It is." you say and close it to lay it in your bag.

Tom explains to you what the story behind the ring is and you smile when you hear how fond his mother is of you.

"I promise I will take good care of it." you say.

"Your plane leaves in four hours. I would rather have you here with me for a little while longer, but it's important that you get your memory back as soon as possible so .... come, let's go." he says.

He reaches out his hand and you take it without hesitating, while you walk down, Lucas walks with your bag behind you. Near the exit the doctor stops you.

"There are a number of journalists and photographers outside, I can imagine that you want to avoid that so I can bring you to the back entrance." he suggests.

Tom and you look at him gratefully and after he has called Lucas to meet you at the back he leads you to the back entrance where the ambulances are standing by to pluck up in an emergency. The taxi is waiting for you and Tom opens the door so you can get in before he sits down next to you, when Lucas sits in the front and closes the door the taxi drives away. After a short drive you come to the hotel and while Lucas tells the taxi driver to wait you and Tom walk upstairs. As you pack your clothes in your suitcase Tom looks at you from the doorway and when you're ready, he grabs the suitcase and you walk down. Lucas is leaning against the taxi and grabs the suitcase from Tom to put it in the trunk next to his. Tom opens the door for you and you want to get in when he takes your hand and turns you to him.

"Will you promise me something?" he asks.

"Of course."

"Do not let some other guy steal your heart away."

"I promise."

"Let me call you."

"Okay."

"Twice a day?"

"Sure." you laugh.

"I'll call you at one o'clock in the afternoon and eleven o'clock in the evening, London time, make sure you can be reached."

"I will sit by the phone."

"I know it will not be easy to win you back when we're apart, but I want you to know that I will do everything to let you remember the love we had. I will make it my life's mission to convince you that we belong together, that we were made for each other and I will not stop untill I can slide that ring around your finger again, where it belongs," he says, and cups your cheek with his hand,"your so beautiful."

Your breath falters in your throat with the way he looks at you, so full of love, a love that is so unconditionally and infinite and unconsciously you lean against his touch.

"Can I kiss you?"

You nod slowly and carefully he leans forward, eyeing you, looking for a sign of discomfort but when he does not see one, his eyes flicker to your lips just before his own kiss you. The kiss is cautious, fragile and when he breaks it you look at him, his thumb sliding over your lower lip and he smiles.

"Thank you." he says.

"Um, yeah sure ...." you whisper.

"Let me know when you're back in London?"

"I will do that."

You step in and Tom closes the door, when the taxi drives off you look through the rear window at him and he waves at you, you wave back and keep looking at him until you round a corner and he disappears from sight. Then Lucas mobile goes off, and he sees that he has a message, he chuckles and keeps his phone up so you can read it.

_'I am counting on you to keep her safe, Tom'_


	39. chapter 39

The ride to the airport is short and when you and Lucas are walking towards the gate you have the feeling that someone is watching you and your eyes slide over the airport. Lucas notices and looks at you.

"You alright?" he asks.

"I don't know, I have the feeling that someone is watching me." you say.

Lucas looks around and goes walking closer to your, when your hands brush past each other, you take his subconsciously.

"Lisa?"

"No, it's not ..... a threatening feeling," you look around you but still see nothing and you shrug,"I must be imagining things."

You walk further and fortunately you don't have to wait long before you can board and this time you stay awake in the plane the whole time, staring out and thinking of Tom, the kiss he gave you right before you left him. It was a short kiss but it gave you a feeling of recognition, the way his lips touched yours, the way his hand cups your cheek.

"Try to rest, you get a hard enough time as soon as we are back in London." Lucas says.

"Yeah, okay."

You lean back into your seat and close your eyes, however you can not sleep and you turn your head sideways to look outside again. When you land in London and walk over the airport suddenly a young woman with a baby on her arm walks towards you while she looks at you. You feel a little bit awkward and give Lucas' sleeve a little tug. He looks at the woman and then smiles.

"It's okay, that's Emma."

"Y/N?" she asks.

You look at her and then at the child who makes cooing sounds and extends his arms to you, fingers reaching for you.

"Hey little man, do you know me?" you ask smiling.

The baby gurgles and stretches his legs, indicating that he wants to go to you. You take him around his waist and take him over from Emma and his arms go straight around your neck. You laugh and rub your hands over his back.

"He has always adored you, just like his Uncle." Emma says.

"I can tell."

"I'm Emma," she says, "and that is Levi."

"I know, Tom told me about you, you also have another child, right?"

"Yes, Jason, who is now at school, I have to pick him up in an hour. Come on, I will bring you to the house you and Tom bought before you left for Toronto."

You walk across the airport to the exit and step in the car while Emma puts Levi in his seat. When you arrive at the house you remember why you bought it, it's beautiful. The gate is open and Emma drives up the driveway and while Lucas opens the door for you she gets Levi from his seat. Then she gives you the key and gestures to the door.

"Go ahead." she says.

You open the door and walk in, before you are two separate rooms, the right gives access to a spacious bathroom and left a nice large kitchen and you frown your eyebrows when you see a couple of boxes.

"When I heard you were going to live here I bought some things at a second hand store, a couch and chair, some furniture and upstairs are two beds and in the boxes are some kitchen stuff."

"Wow, Emma, you are amazing."

"I want to make it as easily as possible for you," she says and grabs your hand, "I'm so sorry for what happened, and I can not imagine how difficult this must be for Tom, the love of his life who does not remember him. "

"Why do not you sit down to talk to, I'll make tea for you." Lucas says.

"That would be great, you have time, Emma?"

"Yes, I still have some time."

She sets Levi on the ground who immediately starts walking around and you and Emma sit on the couch.

"How are you?" she asks.

"I'm okay, I hope I get my memory back soon and hopefully this place helps me with that."

"And the pregnancy? How far along are you now?"

"Approximately 13 weeks, I have understood from Tom that I had a lot of trouble at the beginning with nausea and cramps but since a week that is gone. Furthermore it is going fine."

"Do you want me to give you the name of my gynecologist?"

"That would be great, thank you."

"You know, Tom called me after you left this morning, I remember how afraid he sounded."

"Afraid of what?"

"Of losing you."

"He isn't going to lose me, I promised him that I would give him a chance."

"I know, but even though your love for each other was so strong, so unconditional, the fact that you can not remember that love makes him afraid. He fears that your slipping through his fingers, that he is slowly losing you, you and his child. I tried to put him at ease but honestly, I was always the one with whom he played around, Sarah was always the one to whom he went with his problems, probably because she's the oldest. It is important that you talk a lot with each other, that you let him know that you will not forget him, especially now that you can not be together."

"He never told me that."

"I know, he doesn't want to give you more stress, which is bad for your recovery and your child."

When Lucas enters the room again and places down the tea cups for you, you look at your hands, and when he's gone again Emma speaks again.

"Has he told you about himself?"

"No, I'm afraid I've let him tell all he knows about me, I do not really know much about him." you say, blushing.

Emma smiles and gives you your cup of tea before she takes hers.

"That may be an advantage of this whole situation, you have to get to know him again, I'm sure that even when you may not get back your memory, you will fall in love with him all over again. I just can not imagine that this is the end for you, it just can't. You were so in love, he's so incredibly crazy about you, always has been from the moment he first saw you."

"And yet it took another two years before we got together." you say shaking you head.

"Yes, you have come so far, y/n, in spite of everything."

"I know and that is why I want to give it a chance, I want to remember him, really."

"I know, honey, and it is important that you say that to Tom, he should know that you are doing everything you can."

"I will do that." you promise.

Then your attention is drawn by Levi who suddenly walks outside in the garden and is followed by Lucas with his hands in his pockets. With difficulty he climbs the few steps up to the porch and goes to the window, he lays his hands flat on the glass and pushes his head against it. You and Emma laugh at him and she gets up to open the door. Then she lifts him up and puts him on her hip.

"I have to pick up Jason from school, if there is anything you want to know, you can always call me, okay?"

"Okay, thanks Emma."

When Emma is gone you and Lucas walk into the room and you sit down.

"What do you want to do?" Lucas asks.

"I ... oh my God!" you suddenly call.

"What? What is it?"

"I have promised Tom to call him when I got back."

"For heaven's sake, y/n, you scared me." Lucas says, and lays his hand over his heart.

"I'm sorry, what time is it?"

Your eyes search for a clock but Emma apparently forgotten that.

"A little after five o'clock, so about twelve o'clock in the afternoon in Toronto."

"Do you think I can call him?"

"You can try, maybe he has lunch hour."

"Yes, I hope so."

"I'm going to start with dinner." he says.

You nod and grab your phone to look up his number and when you've found it you press it and Tom immediately picks up.

"Y/N?" you hear.

"Yes, it's me, I'm so sorry that I didn't call, Emma and I started talking and ...."

"Y/N, it's okay, it doesn't matter."

"No, okay."

"The flight went well?"

"Yes, fine, Emma picked us up along with Levi, a sweet child who recognized me."

"That does not surprise me, he was very fond of you when we lived at Emma and Dean." he says and you think back to the words Emma said.

"Tom?"

"Hmm?"

"I want....you should know that I...." you sigh and stand up to walk to the window and you place your hand on it, "I want to remember you, really, Emma told me about how strong our love was and .... just the thought that we had such a love .... a love that you can only dream about when your young."

"Y/N..."

"No, listen to me, I know that that love for you is not gone, it is still somewhere inside me but I just can't reach it, like it's behind closet doors all I have to do is find the key and open it and when I do, when I remember it again I will come back to you, Tom. "

"Thank you, it means a lot to me that you say that." he says, and you hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I just wanted you to know that."

"How is the house? You fell in love with it when you first saw it."

"Oh, I can imagine why, it's beautiful. And your sister has put down some things, a sofa, a chair, old tv, two beds and stuff for the kitchen, Emma is really great."

"I know. Listen y/n, I must continue but I promise you I will call you tonight at eleven o'clock, then we'll talk okay?"

"Okay, I'll talk to you then."

"I've been thinking, and I think it is wise to talk through Skype with each other."

"Skype?"

"Oh that's a program on your computer or laptop, you can call someone through that program and when that person accepts a screen appears with their face on it."

"Then we can see each other." you say.

"Yes, that sounds like a good idea," then he pauses, "I miss you and just hearing your voice isn't enough, I need to see you."

"I miss you too," you softly admit, "that uh, kiss you gave me, that felt good, familliar."

It is silent on the other side but somehow you know he is smiling.

"That's good to hear and about that Skype, look at your laptop, if it is good, the program is on it."

"Okay, I'll look and I talk and see you tonight."

"I can not wait, darling."

You smile at his nickname for you and when you disconnect you grab your laptop to look and indeed, you have soon found the program.

"And?" you hear Lucas ask.

"He had indeed luch break just not much time so he calls me tonight, through skype, so we can see each other." you say.

"That's a good idea," Lucas says and sits down next to you, "the food is almost ready."

"What did you make?"

"Oh, Emma had put soup in the cupboard, and I have some bread taken out for it, I think that tomorrow we must do some shopping."

"Okay, then we can also visit a couple of furniture stores to buy some things."

"Sounds like a plan, y/n." he says.

After dinner you bring the dirty dishes to the kitchen along with Lucas and when you want to put them in the dishwasher he takes your hand and you look at him.

"Go to the living room, rest a bit." he says.

"Okay, thank you."

You walk into the living room and sit down behind your laptop, you click on an icon of an envelope and automatically starts a program. You soon see that it is a program where you can receive messages from others but the names you see are all unknown. Then you see a surname you recognize, it is the same as Tom and you click on it. It's the mail from Sarah that she sent you right after you told her that you are pregnant. While you read the mail a smile appears on your face and your hand goes to your stomach. The next few hours are spent reading the mails only you become not much wiser and when your eyes become painful you slide it sideways and lean your backwards into the couch. Your back pops because of the long time you have sat bent over and you breathe out some air. You close your eyes and then you realize how tired you are, and before you know it your asleep. You wake up when someone says your name softly and you see that Lucas is squatting down before you on the ground.

"Hey." you say and sit up.

"Hey, you fell asleep."

"Hmm, I was so tired all of a sudden."

"It's almost eleven o'clock, maybe you should open Skype, Tom can call any minute." he says.

"Oh, yeah good idea, thank you."

You pick up the laptop and put it on the coffee table in front of you when Lucas stands up and he shoves his hands in his pockets.

"I'll go upstairs then you have some privacy." he says.

"Thank you, Lucas."

"You're welcome, if you need anything during the night, you let me now, I'll take the bedroom next to yours."

You nod and when he walks up the stairs, you hear a beeping sound coming from the laptop and the message that Tom calls you, you click accepting, and suddenly his face and upper body takes up the screen.

"Hey, darling!" he says cheerfully.

"Hey there." you say, a bit overwhelmed.

You let your eyes go over his face and when you look into his eyes you see the same loving gaze, even now you can not show him the love he deserves, that he is used to receive from you and you look away.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" he asks worried.

"Yes, fine," you look at him and smile, "Lucas has gone upstairs to give us some uh, privacy."

"Oh, we need that?" he asks suggestively and you blush, "sorry, I'm sorry I should not have said that."

"No, that's okay," you say, "I read my mail, but nothing that was familiar to me."

"I'm sorry, but it will come back I promise. I wish I could be with you to help you." he says, and you hear the sincerity in his voice.

"I found an email from Sarah," you say, and his eyes light up when hearing the name of his sister, "the address of her ends on _in_ , where is that?"

"India, she lives in Chennai with her husband Yukov, it's on the east coast." he explains.

"Wow, you have a sister and brother-in-law in India." you say, a little impressed.

"Yes, for a few years, she is a journalist."

"Then you probably don't see her very often."

"Not as often as I would like."

"I've never been to India, I mean, I think so, I don't really know of course, but maybe when you and I know each other a little better and I trust you some more again you can take me there."

"Sure, I'll take you anywhere you want to go." he says.

"Where there a lot of places we went to before we left for Toronto?" you ask hopeful.

"Well, not much really I had to be in the theater in the evenings for Coriolanus and in the moments we were home we were actually doing only one thing."

"What?" you ask.

"Yes well, if I say that you will blush again." he laughs.

"Oh ...." you say and bite the inside of your cheek, "so basically we just stayd in bed for....."

"Yes, and at the breakfast table, the pool, the couch ...."

"Okay, I get it, Tom." you say.

He laughs and leans his head in his hand.

You talk a bit about several things how shooting is going and Tom tells you that they will soon be filming on location. Also you must have the regards of the cast and Guillermo and they hope that you soon have your memory back. When you begin to yawn you excuse yourself to him but he waves it away.

"Go to bed, darling." he says.

"Good idea, Lucas and I are going grocery shopping tomorrow and see if we can find furniture so I'm not sure if I'm at home at one o'clock, try my mobile first." your suggest.

"Will do. Good night, beauty."

"Good night, Tom."

The next day you and Lucas get up early to do grocery shopping and during that you cannot displace the idea that you are being watched again. You repeatedly look around but you see no one who looks at you or seemingly follows you. Noteworthy as he is, Lucas quickly sees and without words he takes your hand at certain times to reassuringly squeeze into it.

"It's okay, I'm with you, I will keep you safe." he says.

You nod and after you have brought home the groceries your phone goes and you take it immediately. It's Tom, he tells you he woke up just an hour ago and you still hear the sleep in his voice which sounds so very sexy and there runs a chill through your body. You tell him that you are about to start looking at furniture and asks if he has wishes.

"No, no wishes or well, maybe a large bookcase and a good desk to work on."

"Okay, I'll see what I can find. I will take pictures so you can see it tonight on Skype."

"I look forward to it." he says.

"Me too, it was nice to see you while talking to you."

"I agree." he says.

You talk some more and when you have disconnected you and Lucas drive into a furniture mall to view some furniture. As someone who always findsthe next thing more beautiful than the one before, it is a challenge to seek out something but luckily Lucas is with you and helps you. Once you have picked out furniture for the living room and bedrooms you explain to the seller that you need it as quickly as possible and he promises you that they will deliver the next day. You make some pictures of everything so you can show it to Tom to see and when you walk home you walk by a baby store and before you know it you stand still to look inside.

"Do you want to go inside?" Lucas asks.

"Do you mind?"

"Of course not, you're almost half way so you have to begin to think about what you want."

You smile at him and suddenly grab his hand to pull him inside, it is a large spacious shop and on the first floor are clothes, strollers, maxi cosi's and stuff like that and on the second floor are bedrooms and fully equipped playrooms. You don't know where to look and wonder how the hell you must choose between all those beautiful things. Lucas observes and chuckles a little.

"Maybe you should wait until Tom is back so he can help you." he says, realizing he is not the one you should be doing this with.

"Great idea."

You walk outside and when you notice too late that someone comes at you Lucas gives a tug on your hand to pull you away and for a moment you think that the person mutters something at you, and you look after her.

"You okay?" Lucas asks.

"Yes, you heard that too?"

"What?"

"I do not know, I thought she said something."

"Like what?"

"A curse."

"I have not heard anything, come, let's go home." he says.

You nod and let Lucas take you to the car and when you sit he closes the door in order to walk around the car, you can just see that he gets something from under the windshield wiper and crumples it in his pocket. When he sits down next to you you look at him.

"What was that?"

"What was what?"

"That which was under the windshield wiper."

"Nothing, advertising." he says and starts the car.

Once at home he helps you out of the car and he brings you inside and when you are in the room, he looks at you.

"I'm going to start dinner, how does spaghetti sound?"

"Delicious," you say,"you need some help?"

"No, you stay here, get some rest, it was a long day."

"Thank you."

Lucas smiles and walks into the kitchen to start dinner.


	40. chapter 40

You smile and lean back into the couch to give your muscles some rest, your hands rest on your stomach, softly rubbing over where your child is and your thoughts go to Tom. You wonder if he is thinking about you to, if he misses you. When your mobile beeps you take it to see you have a message from Emma, you open it and see it is the name and number of the gynaecoloog that helped her. You send her a message back saying your thanks and you make a note to yourself to call her tommorow to make an appointment. Then you set your laptop on your lap to hook your phone on it so you can put the pictures of the furniture on it to show them to Tom and when you're ready Lucas is back and he's looking over your shoulder while you click through them.

"Dinner is almost done." he says.

"Do you think Tom will like them?" you ask.

"Yes of course even if it's just for the simple reason that you have picked it out," he laughs,"you want to make yourself usefull?"

You look at him and he smiles.

"Set the table while I finish dinner."

"Sure."

You follow him into the kitchen and set the table and when you're done, Lucas finished dinner and puts it on the table. When your done with dinner you load it all into the dishwasher before you sit down on the couch to watch some TV. When you see it's half past ten, you start up the paltop and decide to search the web to find out more about Tom and when you read that he had been to Eton and got a degree in Classics on Cambridge you are a little impressed that he chose the uncertain acting profession as he probably could have has a very well paid job. He then went to the Academy of Dramatic Art in London. He was very young when he began with theater and eventually ended up in the movie world. You are startled when you suddenly hear a beep and see that you have an incomming call. You click accept and Tom's face fills the screen.

"Hi beautiful." he says, laughing.

"Hey there." you answer, automatically laughing too.

"You look tired." he says.

"I am, it was a busy day."

"Were you able to find furniture?"

"Yes, I have put them on the laptop so you can see them."

"Okay, give it to me." he says.

"Okay, I hope you like them," you say and begins to drag the photos to the chat box, "they can be delivered tomorrow."

"That's great."

When you're done you look at him as he looks at it and you wait in suspense.

"They are beautiful." he says with a smile.

"I am glad to hear that. And your work desk? Is that good? I have chosen one with many compartments and drawers so you...."

"Y/N, calm down, I find my desk beautiful."

You smile and look at him, glad he's happy. You slide off the couch to set the laptop on the table and lean over to him. 

"I have done some research, I've discovered that you went to Eton and Cambridge and have a degree in Classic."

"My father always thought it was important that I and my sisters have an education and a degree."

"You probably could get a good paying job, why did you chose a insecure profession as an actor?"

"Because I wanted to, do not get me wrong I had a great time in college and there is nothing wrong with an office job but I would go crazy. That's really not for me, something my father was not happy about, saying that most of the actors is unemployed and it's not a real profession, impersonate someone else while I was educated enough to be successful as myself but I've put through. Acting was everything to me and luckily it worked out well."

"How does he feel about it now?"

"He has been on the set of Thor, and when he realized how long my days are, sometimes I get up at six o'clock in the morning only to return to the hotel again at nine o'clock in the evening, he had to acknowledge that it really is a profession, and he is proud of me."

"That's great."

"Yes, very much." 

You still talk a bit before he wishes you a good night's sleep and the promis to call back the next night at the same time.

The next day the movers stand front of the house early but you have no idea where you want everything so while they set everything in the garden with the help of Lucas you walk through the house and when you know where everything should be go to the movers to tell them. They put everything neatly where it should be and when they are finished, it is already twelve o'clock in the afternoon. After you said goodbye to the movers Lucas goes out to get some food for lunch and you decide to call a technician to connect everything. The technician can only be there after about two hours so you and Lucas take the time to have lunch at the new breakfast table. After lunch you stand in the archway and look at the room and when Lucas stands beside you, you look at him.

"Satisfied?" he asks.

"Yes, very much. I can't wait to show it to Tom."

"He will love it," he says and then he holds up a enveloppe,"and this came for you this morning when we where putting the furniture in the garden."

"What is it?" you ask and you take it.

"No idea but it's hard so I think something like a cd or dvd perhaps? It does say airmail on it so it's a safe bet it's from Tom."

Lucas turns around to clean the kitchen while you start up the laptop and and while it's getting ready you open the enveloppen and take out a cd which turns out to be a single, named come back to me by David Cook. On top of the single is a note that says 'play me' and you smile before you frown your eyebrows. The way it is written down looks familliar to you but you can't place it. You shrug your shoulders and look at the single again, you don't know him or the song and as to not disturb Lucas you put in your headphones and press play and soon music fills your ears.

You say you gotta go and find yourself  
You say that you're becoming someone else  
Don't recognize the face in the mirror  
Looking back at you

You say you're leavin  
As you look away  
I know theres really nothin left to say  
Just know i'm here  
Whenever you need me  
I'll wait for you

So i'll let you go  
I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me

Take your time i wont go anywhere  
Picture you with the wind in your hair  
I'll keep your things right where you left them  
I'll be here for you

Oh and i'll let you go  
I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me

And i hope you find everything that you need  
I'll be right here waiting to see  
You find you come back to me

I can't get close if your not there  
I can't get inside if theres no soul to bear  
I can't fix you i can't save you  
Its something you have to do

So i'll let you go  
I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me  
Come back to me  
So i'll let you go  
I'll set you free  
And when you see what you need to see  
When you find you come back to me

And i hope you find everything that you need  
I'll be right here waiting to see  
You find you come back to me

When you find you come back to me  
When you find you come back to me  
When you find you come back to me

After the song has finished you take out your earphones and you replay the lyrics of the song in your head. Then the accept bar comes up and just when you want to click on the bar you reconsider. You get up and stand behind the laptop and set it so that he has a good look at the room and new furniture. You click on the bar and hide behind the laptop, Tom's greeting stops halfway and you wait anxiously. Carefully you turn the laptop around so he can see all the furniture and when you peek around the corner you immediately find two blue eyes that look at you.

"Well? What do you think?" you ask.

"I love it, you've done good." he says.

"Thank you, I'll let you see your study." you say.

You lift the laptop and walk to the study and open the door, his desk is placed against the wall with a new laptop on it and left against the wall, a large cupboard, and when you turn it, he sees his Awards cabinet making him laugh.

"Just imaging lot's of awards in it." you say.

"That would be nice." he replies.

"You want to see the bedroom?" you ask.

"Yes please."

You walk up the stairs and open the door to the bedroom and show him around the room.

"Nice big bed." he says.

"Yeah, well, I assume that one day we will be lying in it together again." you say.

You're glad that you're hidden behind the laptop so he can not see you blushing face, then you show him the bathroom, besides the usual things that were already there you have added some other things such as a closet for towels and a compartment for your makeup.

"I knew I could trust you." it sounds from the laptop.

You smile and walk back down, finally you let him see the dining room table and go sit with the laptop before you.

"There is a small guesthouse in the garden, I haven't been there yet but did we have a destination for that?" you ask.

"Oh, yes we did, it was the idea that if we would be going out we could have mom watch our future children and seeing the guesthouse has running water and everything you wanted to make it a guesthouse for her so she could sleep there."

"I see, well, maybe I can ask her to come with me so she can pick some things out."

"I think that's a great idea. Her name is Diana and her number is probably somewhere in your phone."

"Thank," you say and write down the name and when you look at him you smile,"I got your song."

"I heard it on the radio during a break and I thought it was appropriate. I want you to know that I will give you all the space you need, I will help you when you want and when you're ready, then I will be waiting. I will wait for you as long as it takes, y/n, that you should know."

"It means a lot to me, Tom, I mean it. There was a note by the way, 'play me', it seemed familiar, have you previously written such notes to me?" you ask.

"When we were together in the restaurant, a gift with a note that said 'unwrapp me' and the dress had a note with 'wear me'."

"I remembered it." you say elated.

"Yes, you see? It'll be back, you just have to have patience, darling. Maybe I can take you there one day, just the two of us, maybe you remember something."

"That's a good idea," you say,"

"As long as you help me."

"Of course I'll help you, whenever you need me I'm here."

After you have chatted some you say goodbye to him, and then you walk upstairs to go to sleep.

The next day you stand with a fresh cup of coffee in your hand, staring outside to the gazebo, Lucas is cleaning up the kitchen and you can hear him messing around with the cupboards and dishwasher. Your eyes wander down to your mobile but you look up when you see Lucas come walking towards you.

"Everything okay?" he asks, wiping his hands on a dishcloth.

"Yeah, just ... the gazebo," you say, and look at it again, "Tom and I wanted to make a guest house of it for his mother for when she needs to take care of our kids and it gets late, so she doesn't have to go home but can sleep here. "

"That's a good idea."

"I know, I wanted to ask her to come with me so she can pick furniture out herself."

"But ..."

You smile and turn so that you can look at him.

"What should I say to her? I do not know her, I can not pretend nothing has happening, as if I ..."

"And she does not expect that, I do not know her really well but I am sure she will give you the space," he comes standing next to you and takes your hand so your fingers are linked together, "when you were talking with Emma how did that feel?"

"Good, familiar."

"And so it will be with Diana, I've only seen you together for a short moment but she adores you," he then lets your fingers go and bends down to pick up your mobile to give it to you "call her up and ask her."

You take the mobile and go to your contacts to find her name and when you find it you immediately press the button 'calling' before you can rethink. You look at Lucas, and he gives you a nod before he walks away. You wait tensed for her to pick up the phone, and when you hear a woman's voice say your name you stay silent.

"Y/N?"

You open your mouth to say something but you don't know what.

"I know it's you, honey, I see your name on my screen."

"Hi, yes it's me." you say.

"Y/N, it is good to hear you," she says, and you hear the sincerity in her voice, "I wanted to come but, after everything that happened to you .... I wanted to give you some time."

"Thank you, that's very kind of you."

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine."

"And the pregnancy?"

"That's going fine too." you smile, "I just have a question for you."

You tell her about the gazebo and what your plans with it are and when you tell that you want to take her so she can pick her furniture she laughs and takes your invitation gladly and you agree that she will come to you at the beginning of the afternoon. After you have disconnected you turn around and see that Lucas stands behind you.

"See, that was not so bad." he says, winking.

"No, indeed, she sounded very nice."

About an hour later the doorbell rings and you look at it.

"You want me to open?" you hear Lucas ask.

You look up and see him already standing up.

"No, that's okay." you say.

You walk down the stairs and grab the doorknob in your hand, you breathe one time and open the door to see an elderly woman with crystal blue eyes, Tom's eyes, you think, and a cautious smile on her lips.

"Y/N." she says.

"Yes, yes and you are Diana."

"Yes, it's so good to see you."

"Please come in." you say.

You take a step aside so she can come in and then she sees Lucas.

"Oh Lucas, wasn't it?"

"Yes that's right, pleasure to see you again, ma'am." he says and nods his head.

"Call me Diana, please."

Then her eyes go to you again and they move down and you realize that she is looking at your fingers to see if you wear a ring, but when she doesn't see it she frowns.

"I have said yes to Tom." You reassure her.

"Oh thank God, when he told me he was going to ask you to marry him I was so delighted, y/n, you are truly perfect for my son. He loves you so much, more than a man can ever love a woman," then she suddenly frowns her eyebrows,"why are you not wearing his ring then?"

"Well, as I said to him too, I can't wear a ring that symbolyzes a love I don't remember, it just doesn't feel right. But I still have it, Tom didn't wanted it back, it's upstairs in my bedroom. Thank you for giving it to Tom, it really is a beautiful ring."

"Your worth it, y/n, you might not be my real daughter but you have always been a part of my family."

"Thank you." you say, slightly blushing.

"We will make sure that you remember him again."

"I want to remember him, therefore we Skype every evening."

"Well, that's good."

"Come, I'll give you a tour." you say.

You let Diana see the house and you end up in the living room and when she sees the cottage in the garden she walks to the window and points at it.

"Is that the cottage?" she asks.

"Yes, that's it, it's not big but it has everything you need."

"I can not wait to seek out furniture."

"Well, let's go then." you say.

Lucas drives you to the same store where the other furniture came from and when you walk inside you see the same seller and you address him. He is pleasantly surprised to see you again and asks how the delivery of the furniture has been. You tell him that everything went perfectly and indicate that you still need some things for the cottage in the garden and introduce him to Diana and because she will spend the most time there she can pick the furniture. The seller takes Diana along different furniture and advises her while you and Lucas are walking a little behind. Since Diana does not need much she is done after two hours and the seller promises that the furniture will again be deliverd the next day. The only thing you ask is whether it could perhaps be in the afternoon because you have to pick up Tom in the morning from the airport.

When you get home you and Diana sit on your couch and start talking and you soon notice that Lucas was right, you feel very at ease with Diana and she is not trying in any way to exert pressure on you to remember things. When Lucas suddenly stands before you, you look up.

"I hate to bother but, Diana, will you stay for dinner?"

"Oh I do not want to intrude." she says and looks at you.

"I would actually like it if you wanted to stay a little bit longer, you could tell me more about Tom, not about the things I can search for on the inernet but things like how he was as a little boy, as a teenager, if he was diffucult or not, those things."

"Well, okay, gladly then."

When Lucas walks into the kitchen again Diana looks you.

"He likes you." she says.

"I like him as well."

"Maybe a little too much."

"What?"

"I see how he looks at you, y/n."

You pinch the bridge of your nose and sigh.

"Diana, Lucas and I are just friends, there will never be more between us. And actually, I'm glad he's there, I know him and I feel safe with him and he takes good care of me."

"Better than Tom?"

"The only time I've been with Tom was when I was in the hospital and he was very kind and sweet to me but Lucas .... like I said, he takes good care of me, but, "you say, and lift your finger when Diana opens her mouth," I promised Tom that I would give him a chance and I will, that he deserves. We were engaged, I'm pregnant of his child"

"I'm sure you will fall for him all over again, he will do everything, I know my son and he will not rest until you are back at his side."

"You do realize that when Tom and I come closer to one another we can not suddenly continue where we left off? I must be able to trust him again before I can let him into my heart, before I can give him my love, that takes time."

"I know, but I know that everyting will be fine between you, I am confident. As long as Lucas keep his distance."

"Do not worry about Lucas, we have been together now for a week and he has not once tried anything."

"Let's hope it stays that way for him."

You shake your head and decide not to talk about it anymore.


	41. Update

400 kudo's?! Oh my god, I'm so happy with that! You are defenitley the best readers out there! I'm so proud of it! Never im my wildest dreams did I ever expected that but you are beyond everything! And you know what? To thank all of you for your support on this one I will update tomorrow! But just this one time so don't get used to it my darlings!


	42. chapter 41

The rest of the evening goes well, while eating Diana tells you more about Tom, about his childhood, the divorce of his parents, which was very difficult especially for him and how hard he has always worked to come where he is now. By the time she leaves it is after ten o'clock and when you walk into the living room again you sit down on the couch.

"You spoil me too much." you say.

"How do you mean?"

"You do everything here, cook, clean up."

Lucas laughs and looks at you.

"I've been living alone since I left my parents on my 18th, it has become a habit, I guess."

"Never had a girlfriend?"

"Sure I did, just never lived together."

"Why not?"

"Never came across the right one I suppose." he answers, shrugging.

"Strange, you're quite handsome and sweet and you can cook delicious, I think every woman should be happy with you."

"Thank you," Lucas says, and he looks at you, "are you coming on to me?"

"What? No, no I am just...."

"Hey, it's okay, I'm joking." he says, holding his hands up.

"Oh, okay," you say, laughing, "I just want to say thank you, for everything."

"Your welcome and I think you deserve it to be spoiled at least a little, you've had it hard enough."

Your startled when your laptop suddenly indicates that you have an incoming call and you frown your eyebrows.

"He is early." you say.

"He is impatient." Lucas laughs and stands up to go to the kitchen to clean out the dishwasher.

You click on accept and when Tom's face fills the screen you smile.

"Hey, you're early."

"Hey, yeah I know but I saw you were online and I missed you, I needed to see you."

"Well, here I am." you say.

"And more beautiful than ever."

You blush at his compliment and he smiles when you tell him that you went with his mother to the furniture store today and you also tell him that the furniture will be delivered tomorrow afternoon. You promis to take some pictures for him so he can see the outcome. 

When the delivery men arrive the next day you grab the separate keys of the gazebo to open the door so they can bring the furniture inside. You sit down on the steps of the patio to watch and when it is done and the delivery men say goodbuy to Lucas he walks towards you and you head inside. The rest of the day goes by fairly uneventfull and in the evening you look a bit of TV and just before Tom calls you Lucas stands up and goes to bed. You hear the ping announcing you have an incoming message and you open your mail. You see you have an email from Emma, you open it and see that a video file has been added.

_I thought you should see this, xxx Emma_

You click on the video file and you see Tom standing talking to some fans and signing autographs on the set, then suddenly you see a little girl turning around in the background and she walks towards him to then let her short arms slip around Tom's waist and gives him a big hug. Tom looks down surprised and instead of looking around, he does not hesitate and hugs the girl right back, hands sliding across her back. You smile and your hands go to your stomach, you already had a pretty good feeling that Tom would be a great father, now you know for sure and you praise yourself lucky that you can give your child such a loving father. Then the accept bar shows up and you click it.

"Hey!" he says.

"Hey back."

"Everything okay?"

"Fine, the gazebo has become really nice."

"Show me!" he says immediately.

You laugh and start dragging the pictures to the chatbox just like the last time.

"Wow, maybe you should be interior decorator."

You blink your eyes and when he looks at you he frowns.

"What?"

"Are you serious? I mean, you do not say that just to please me?"

"No, I think it's really nice, and it fits together, just like the furniture you have selected for the house. I think it's really beautiful. Why?"

"I do not know, I'll probably someday again want to do something and I know nothing of his interior decorating but it seems to me something I can do from home."

"You could create an office of the second living room." Tom shrugs.

"Yes I could." you say.

"Maybe you should explore it , there is probably a study that you can follow."

"Yes, that's a good idea."

You pick up a pen and write it down to better view it the next day. Then you focus back on the laptop and Tom who looks at the pictures again. 

"So, I saw this adorable film of you today."

"Oh, what did I do?" he asks and leans forward.

"Well it was more what a certain cute little girl did."

"Oh, that girl, yeah it was somewhat unexpected but I thought, well what the hell."

"That was very sweet of you, you'll be a great father for our child."

He smiles and after you talked some more he wishes you a good night.

As busy as the last week has been so peaceful is the next, the days flow into each other and in general look the same and you are also a lot wiser about the interior designer profession. You talked about it with Lucas and he thinks it's a good idea. You search the Internet for a study and you get so many hits that it's a bit too much but eventually you find a study that can be followed through the internet, while you also get a tutor that is accessible for you at all times. On the page where you can register you have the choice to pay per week, per month or to do it all at once and then you get discount and you decide to pay it all at once.

You also call the gynecologist to make an appointment and when you've done that you write it down so you can tell it to Tom. You also get calls from Elsa and even Ken and even though you can not remember them you like the fact that they take the time to tell you that they are there when you need them. The conversation with Ken is quite short but with Elsa you talk for more than an hour on the phone, you're talking about all sorts of things and finally she tells you that you can always call her with questions about the pregnancy and if it should be a girl then you can always take over things from her. 

Later that week Lucas is watching some tv and you are surfing the internet and soon you find yourself in a world of fan girls who have created website about him and you look at them. Sometimes you can't help but laugh a little at the comments they post with some pictures and you realize that he is lucky to have such great fans that follow him in general because they think he is a amazing actor, but here and there you also encounter fans that only seem to follow him because they think he's cute and sexy, no matter what he does and what he is wearing. You scroll through the pictures and all of a sudden you see the pictures of you and Tom together in front of the restaurant in Toronto and carefully you scroll down to the comments. The first dozen are surprisingly positive, seeing this like, they are so cute together and what a lovely couple and thet they are a bit sad but also happy he finally found someone but then they gradually become less nice, seeing things like, she's to tiny for him or she's to fat or she's ugly, why would someone like Tom, who can get anyone be wasting his time on someone like her, she is not worthy of it. Then you see that one of those girls has placed a link and even though you know you should not look you click on it anyway and what you see makes your mouth fall open.

"Oh my gosh." you say.

Lucas looks at you and frowns.

"What is it?"

"Look."

You turn the laptop to him and he sees different pictures, pictures of you and Lucas together at the airport, in the city, in a furniture shop and even before the baby store and how you pull him inside by his hand laughing. Lucas sits up to look more closely and you see his jaw tighten. You turn the laptop back to you and Lucas leans towards you so that you can see the comments made at the pictures and you put your hand over your mouth.

_I thought it was strange that she is in Toronto with Tom one day and suddenly the next day at the airport with a strange dude where she merrily seeks out furniture with but now I know why, she's pregnant! Just look at this picture, here they are before a baby store where she then pulls him inside. She was already pregnant when she left Tom, she probably has cheated on him with this guy and the child is his too, that bitch, she has the ideal man and what does she do? She cheats on him with another and becomes pregnant by him and then breaks Tom's heart, fucking bitch._

"How can they say that?"

"Because they are jealous of you because you have what they can only dream of, y/n, you have their ideal man."

You can feel the tears burning in your eyes and you bite your lip to keep them inside, your eyes wander down and to your surprise there are a few fans who stick up for you by saying that it is not their concern what happens in Tom's private life and they can't just assume things based some pictures and it makes you feel better.

"See? Some of his fans defend you, there are only a few who talk bad about you, y/n."

Lucas places his finger under your chin and turns your face towards him, he smiles at you and you smile back carefully. 

"There, that's better." he says and leans back when suddenly the doorbell rings and you look up.

"Are you expecting some one?" Lucas asks.

"No." you say.

Lucas looks at the door and slowly stands up, though he doubts whether Lisa would ring the door he takes no chances and tells you that you should go standing out of sight of the door and you do what he says. Then he walks slowly to the door and looks through the spy hole who it is. You push yourself against the wall and wait for what happens and when you Lucas saying that it's okay you give breath of relieve and you appear in the wallway. Lucas opens the door and you see a man about your age standing in a long dark coat with the collar up and dark hair. He looks at Lucas and then to you and when he takes a step forward Lucas stops him which attracts his attention and he holds his hands up to indicate that he has no mischief in mind.

"Lucas it's okay, I think." you say doubtfully and walk over to him,

"Do you recognize him?"

"No, not as in I know his name but I have the feeling that you are a friend."

You stand beside Lucas and look at him, his eyes have not a particular color but a little of all colors and you frown.

"Yeah, my eyes have always been sort of my trademark,"he chuckles. Can I come in?"

"Yes of course." you say.

You make room so he can walk past you and when he stands in the hallway, he pulls off his gloves and then his coat. After he hung it up he looks at you again.

"What is your name?"

"Benedict Cumberbatch, Ben for friends, I hope I'm not disturbing you or I can come back another time."

"No, it's fine, come further please."

You walk into the room and sit down on the couch and Ben sits next to you and you look at him again.

"You are a friend of Tom?"

"One of his best friends, for some time. You and I have met several times. You called me to be there for his birthday but I had shootings in Europe."

"You're also an actor."

"Yes, yes, actually I have played with Tom together in a film, War Horse, which was in 2012." he says.

"It doesn't ring a bell, sorry."

"Oh no, that's okay. I heard what happened and I wanted to know how you're doing."

"Oh, well, it is going fine. I'm trying to pick up my life as it was, something which is not easy considering I don't remember anything."

"Not even the most important thing." Ben says.

"No, I hear everyone saying that Tom and I were so in love that I find it very unfortunate that I do not remember him." you say regrettable.

"I understand, when Tom and I worked on War Horse, we became best friends, we spoke several times a week and I was there when you came into his life. I noticed right away that he was enamored of you,"he says, smiling," Tom is never easily impressed by a woman and I was actually a bit surprised when he told me of your meeting and I saw a sort of twinkle in his eyes, I knew then that you had stolen Tom's heart. And when I met you I knew why, you are a remarkable woman, y / n. "

"Thank you."

"And things have quickly escalated, together in January and already pregnant." he says, laughing.

"Yes, that is very fast but ...."

"Oh no, please, you do not have to justify in front of me, you and Tom have danced around each other for so long, it was to be expected that when the flame would catch fire that there would be fireworks between you." he sets your mind at rest.

"So your one of his best friends? What can you tell me about him?"

Ben smiles and tells you that he and Tom became best friends instantly after their meeting and you understand that, Ben is a pleasure to be with and you feel comfortable with him. He has a nice voice to listen to and you like him at once, you learn that Ben also has a girlfriend, Sophie, and you and her have not seen each other very often but you get along well, something both men find very important seeing their close friendship. He says she would have liked to come but she is in the middle of an important stage play that needs her full attention. You nod understandingly and say that she is always welcome when she wants to come. You are so wrapped up in each other you forget to keep track of time and when the laptop starts beeping you almost jump.

"Is that Tom?" Ben says.

"Yes, we skype every night since I got back."

You click on accept and sit up straighter, he greets you abundantly and then he sees Ben.

"Ben! What are you doing there?"

"I heard what had happened, and I wondered how y/n was doing so I stopped by."

"Is he a little bit kind to you?" Tom asks,

"Yes, very kind, he told me some very interesting things about you." you say.

"Oh yeah? What then?" he asks.

"That is between y/n and me." Ben says suddenly.

"Well, in that case don't believe anything he says." Tom whispers to you followed by a wink.

"Hé, I always talk nice about you." Ben says, sounding wounded.

You lean slightly backwards while Tom and Ben start talking and it quickly turns into a playful exchange of teasing words and remarks and you have to stiffle your laughter and when one does escapes you the men look up.

"Are you enjoying yourself, darling?" Tom asks.

"Yes, if you're here again you must come by with Sophie."

"That sounds like an excellent idea." Ben says.

"And it is going to happen sooner than you think." Tom says suddenly.

"What?" you ask and look at him.

"Guillermo has pushed forward some scenes of mine, so I am free for the weekend."

"Your coming here?" you ask and turn yourself more to Tom.

"Yes, I can be with you early saterday morning, if you want to."

"Yes, that will be great." you say and you get a smile on your lips.

"Well, that's good to hear, I was thinking that maybe we could go to Morgan's restaurant on saterday, to replay the night we had there together. Maybe it will help."

"We can always try, and clothing? Should that be the same?"

"I can wear the same but I honestly do not know where you dress is, it was a transparent white one with blue inserts in the breasts and crotch. And you were wearing white pumps."

"Wow, I can't believe you remember that, most men do not even know what their partner was wearing the day before." you say.

"I'm not most men and I always pay attention to you, I always see you, y/n, and you're always beautiful, whether you're wearing a gorgeous dress or sweatpants and a loose-fitting jersey, your always stunning in my eyes."

"Smooth talker."

Tom laughs and automatically you smile before he leans forward towards the screen.

"You know what? Leave the dress to me."

"What?" you ask, not understanding.

"The dress, I will get one for you."

"Tom, I don't want you to buy me a ridiculously expensive dress."

"I won't, I promis, not that your not worth it because you are, you just try to find the pumps, I'll bring the dress."

"Okay. And maybe I can make an appointment with the gynecologist for Saturday then you are there."

"That would be fantastic."

When someone clears his throat you remember that Ben is also still there and you look at him guiltily making him laugh.

"It does not matter but your going to be busy." he says.

"Can you and Sophie make it on Sunday afternoon? I have to go back again Sunday evening."

"I think so but I must first check with Sophie."

"Okay, just let me know." you say.

He waves to Tom and when you get up to walk with him he stops you and to your surprise he leans forward to give you two kisses but just like when you saw him for the first time, it feels good. When you sit back Tom looks at you smiling.

"It was good to see you and hear you laughing."

"It felt good, you guys are quite hilarious together."

"And your right, we should ask him and Sophie over when I am back not only because it has been way to long since I last saw them but also because I love to hear you laughing, I missed that."

"Well it has been a while since I last laughed like that, I think. I can understand why you two are so close, Ben is really great."

"He is and I am very honered that I can call him a friend."

"I'm sure he thinks the same about you."

"I hope he does, so about saterday, I gave you a necklace a bracelet and earring with the infinity sigh on it. If you could find them it would be great, not to give them again but just seeing you wearing them."

"Okay, I will look for them tomorrow."


	43. chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> comments make my day!

"I am going to take a quick shower."

Lucas runs up the stairs and when you hear the door closing you sigh and you take your laptop and decide to search the web to find out more about Tom and you are startled when Lucas suddenly walks into the living room half an hour later and you look at him. He is wearing jeans and a white shirt, and he sits down in the chair to turn on the TV. He throws his right leg over the arm and his other leg he stretches out. You let your eyes go over his form and when you come back to his face, you see that his damp hair is loosely hanging backwards. You look at his face, his profile and you notice again how much he looks like Tom, not only his profile, but his entire physique, slender, long but also muscular and suddenly you feel a wave of desire going through your body. You make a strangled sound in your throat and Lucas looks at you right away.

"What is it?" he asks.

"No, nothing." you say.

He shakes his head, not believing and stands up to sit next to you and you catch a hint of his cologne, musk. It creates a tingling sensation through your body and you press your legs against each other.

"Are you sure?" he asks and puts a hand on your forehead making you close your eyes and your breath falters in your throat, "you feel a bit hot. Maybe you should lie down, it was a busy day."

"Hmm, yeah I think you're right." you say quickly.

"Here, give me your laptop."

He leans towards you to grab your laptop and he places it on the table and when he leans back you suddenly lay your hand in his neck and stop him. Lucas freezes and his eyes seek yours. When they find yours, you're astonished by the resemblance to Tom's eyes and for a moment you are mesmerized by those eyes.

"You look so much like him." you whisper.

He is so close that you can feel his breath on your face and your thumb gently strokes his cheek, his cheekbone and when it goes to his lips you feel his fingers on your wrist to stop you.

"Don't," he says, "you're with Tom."

"No I am not." you say suddenly.

Lucas smiles and you feel his breathing slide over your face again.

"Yes you are, you might not remember that but I do, I have seen you together, I have seen the way you look at him, with so much love, so much devotion, I would give anyhting to have a woman looking at me like that, to have a woman loving me like that."

Your eyes flicker to his lips who suddenly resemble those of Tom. You wonder whether this is true or which it is your imagination and you lean forward slowly. Lucas breath falters in his throat and he finally lays his forehead against yours.

"I can not deny that I find you very attractive and you have become to mean so much for me, God, you have know idea how much I'd love to kiss you now, but it's wrong you know that just as well as I do. Do you remember what you asked me in the hospital? What would have happened if you had met me first? I would have swept you off your feet and made you mine and I never would have let you go, but you didn't meet me first, you met Tom first and I envy him for that. You fell for him and he fell for you, he loves you, you are his world, y/n, and you love him even though you do not remember that love, I know one day you will. I have seen you together, you are made for each other."

"Then why do you make me feel like this?"

"When I heard I would be assigned to you again, I've done some research on pregnant women and I read about the mood swings, the cravings for food in the middle of the night, the naussia and that some women can be overcome by a great need for sex. You hormones play tricks on you, you project those feelings on me because I'm with you but you do not want me, y/n, really you don't. You only think you do because I look like Tom, he is the one you really want and one day you will remember."

He takes some distance from you and his fingers slide over your arms, he takes your hands and brings them to his mouth to press a kiss on them.

"Go to bed, try to rest, then I make something to eat," he says and stands up to walk away.

You take a deep breath before you walk upstairs and lie down on the bed, staring at the ceiling while you think about what just happened between you and Lucas and you are ashamed to admit that if he had not stopped you you probably had kissed him. You're grateful to him, despite his feelings for you, that he was the wisest and you close your eyes but your still tingling all over, to restless to sleep. You hands slide over your belly, you are not yet far enough to have a bump and try to imagine how it looks when it is. While you let your hands slide up over your body your breathing suddenly falters when they glide over your breasts and touch your nipples, even through your clothing an electric shock goes through you and you realize that the pregnancy made your breasts more sensitive than they are normally. Experimentally you let your fingers move over both your nipples and you can not suppress a low moan, letting both hands move down, one slips into your slip while the other hand disappears under your shirt and cups your breast. While the thumb of one hand strokes your nipple you let the middle finger of your other hand slip between your folds, sliding back and forth and you're running a slow circle around your clit.

"Fuck." you gasp and your knees buck.

Suddenly you feel a wave of desire, of lust rushing through your body and before you now it you pump with two fingers in your opening and your thumb circles around your clit. Soon you feel a rising orgasm and your other hand kneads your breast and when your thumb moves across your nipple and your finger pressed on your clit an immense orgasm rolls through your body and before you can stop it Tom's name rolls over your lips and you blink your eyes. Did you really say that? Have you really said his name at the peak of your climax? Your breathing heavily and close your eyes, slowly you come to your senses and when your breathing return to normal again you think about the fact that you whispered Tom's name at your peak and although you first thought you were not yet ready to give him the love he deserves you start to doubt now. There are clearly feelings for him somewhere inside you, feelings that go very deep and you think of Morgan's restaurant where you are going tomorrow. You will be alone with him, really alone and you consider that it might be exactly what you need. Time for each other, just the two of you. You sigh and close your eyes to fall asleep and when you open your eyes you immediately notice it's dark and you look at the clock, half past nine, you have slept longer than you wanted and your stomach starts to rumble. You stand up quickly and walk down the stairs , Lucas is sitting on the couch watching TV and he looks up when you walk into the room.

"Hey, sleepyhead," he says and stands up to come to you, "you all right?"

"Yeah, sorry I was sleepier than I thought."

"That's okay, sit down then I will warm up the food for you."

You nod and walk over to the couch to sit down and when Lucas comes back five minutes later and gives you a plate you take it. He sits down next to you and you start eating but you stop halfway.

"Thank you." you say softly.

"For what?"

"For stopping me earlier."

Lucas smiles and leans his elbows on his knees to look at you.

"I meant what I said, never in my life have I seen a couple that loved each other more than you and Tom, I have never really believed in the fact that some people belong together or are made for each other but that changed when I saw you together, you and Tom truly are each others other halves, only whole while together, I wil never come between that."

"I wish I could remember it, everyone says it was a love that you rarely see between two people, so strong, so unconditionally."

"And you will, one day, I'm sure,"he takes your hand and squeezes it before he plants a kiss on it and smiles at you making you smile back,"now eat up your food, it's getting cold."

You do what he says and after you are done he takes it from you to take it to the kitchen and place it in the dishwacher before he goes upstairs. When Tom calls you later that evening you have trouble concentrating on what he says and a couple of times he has to repeat himself. You can't help to feel very guilty about what almost happened between you and Lucas. Here is a man who loves you with his entire being and wants to do everything to help you, you're pregnant from him and you almost kissed another.

"I almost kissed Lucas." you blurt out suddenly and you regret it immediately when you see the look in Tom's eyes.

"What?"

"Uh .... I .... I'm sorry." you say softly.

"What happened?"

"I do not know, he had showered and sat in the armchair and it struck me how much he looks like you and suddenly I felt ...."

"A desire for sex?"

You feel yourself blushing but also frown your eyebrows.

"How do you ...." but you stop when Tom laughs.

"Oh, y / n, that are your hormones."

"Lucas also said that."

"And he's right, you had that symptom in Toronto also, one moment everything was fine and the next you jumped me." he looks at you and says meaningfully.

"Oh, okay, I understand."

"A symptom that I myself found not that bad at all."

"I believe that right away," you say, smiling, "but I should have known better, it's not fair towards you."

"I am happy one of you stopped it, I must admit, but it wasn't your fault and besides, you said it started with you realizing how much he looked like me, right? So in a way, a thought of me made you want to have sex."

"I guess."

"In that case; I'm flattered."

"So, we're okay?"

"We're fine."

"Thank you."

You are reassured by his words and the rest of the conversation is mostly about how filming is and you hear the admiration for the project in his voice. Guillermo takes it all very seriously, it is after all also his return to the horror genre, and he wants get it right so the cast also takes it seriously, but there is some place for a lark and you notice that Tom has a good time and you are happy for him.

 

"So, you already know when you arrive on Saturday?" you ask.

"Half past eight London time."

"That is very early."

"You do not have to pick me up, I can take a taxi." he suggests.

"No, I want to pick you up." you say.

"Well, I can not wait to see you again, I also see you now of course but that's different."

You smile and tell him the same.

"I can not wait to see you tomorrow, I'm so excited. I hope that goes for you too."

"Yes, I also look forward to seeing you, hopefully I remember something when we are at Morgan."

"That would be nice and speaking about tomorrow, I got your dress."

"Really? Can I see it?" you ask.

"No, sorry, I want it to be a surprise, the last one was too, so you have to wait, darling."

"Fine, it has to be just like that night, I understand, oh,"you suddenly exclaim,"i haven't had time to search for the shoes yet."

"Don't worry, I was acually thinking that before we go I could go to my sister to take a shower and change and then pick you up."

"What? Why would you go to your sister for that? You can shower here too."

"I know but, I never had the chance to really take you out, you know, pick you up at home with a bouquet of flowers and then whisk you away into the night to try to conquer you and impress you."

"You want to whisk me away?" you ask laughing.

"If you'll let me."

"Of course."

Tom smiles at you and after you have said goodnight you walk up the stairs and crawl into bed.

The next day, you and Lucas are already in the arrivals hall half an hour before Tom's plane lands, you jump impatiently from one foot to the other.

"Will you please calm down." he says.

"Sorry, I'm just nervous."

"That I understand and I'm sure he is nervous but I also know that when you see each other that's all gone."

"I hope so."

You look back at the door and then to the long corridor behind the glass through which people need to walk to get to the door, then your eyes linger on a tall slender man with a basketball cap on of which the flap is pulled down, including a leather jacket and dark jeans with a backpack slung over his shoulder. Unconsciously you put one step to the glass and when the man looks aside and your eyes catch each other he smiles and raises his hand, you smile back and walk with him to the door. When he stands before you you are not sure what to do and he makes a gesture with his hand.

"Can I ....?"

"Yes of course." you say.

He takes a step forward and you let yourself be embraced by him, you close your eyes and sniff his scent and you realize that you missed that, you've missed him and his arms around you.

"I missed you so much." he whispers in your ear.

"I missed you too."

He lets you go, and his hands slide over your arms until they reach your hands and he takes them.

"Come lets go, before I get recognized." he says.

You nod and he lets one hand go but the other he holds tightly as you walk away. You come seemingly unnoticed by the car and Lucas opens the door so you can get in but you have doubts, and he looks at you.

"I think I'm going to sit in the back, with Tom." you say.

"Oh, okay." Lucas says and closes the door again.

Tom opens the back door for you and you slide in and when Tom sits next to you and looks at you with those big blue eyes your speechless for a moment. However, you get taken out of your thoughts when he grabs your hand and you look at him.

"Everything alright?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine, just .... I'm glad you're here."

"I am too." he replies.

He lifts your hand up to press a kiss to it and you smile, when you're at home Lucas opens the door for you and together with Tom you get out. You walk to the house and once insideTom drops his backpack next to the stairs and he walks into the living room. He looks at the furniture and takes a look in the kitchen and then he looks at you.

"You've really done quite well, y/n."

"Thank you."

"You want a drink?" Lucas asks.

"I'll take coffee." Tom says.

"Tea, please." you say.

When Lucas is gone you and Tom sit on the couch and you fold your legs under your body and turn yourself so that you can look at him.

"How is filming going?" you ask.

"Well, it was a busy week, because the scenes of the weekend had to be done now but it is fantastic. Moreover, I have something for you." he says.

He stands up and quickly walks toward his backpack, he opens it and pulls an envelope out which he gives to you before he sits down again. You open the envelope and pull out a card that says lots of best wishes! and is signed by the cast. You get tears in your eyes and bite your lip.

"They know me?"

"Before we went to the set where the accident happened we went out to eat with them, you got along well with everyone, especially with Mia. She plays my wife in the movie."

"Lucky her to have someone like you."

"Well, in the movie she has me but in real life, I am yours."

You smile and put the card on the table, you look at him and see that he is looking at your belly.

"Everything is going well with the little one, I haven't had tome to make an appointment with a gynecologist, I will do that next week."

"You have no pain? Cramps? Vomiting?"

"No, fortunately not, I eat well, thanks to Lucas, he can cook very delicious."

"Glad to know you are in good hands."

"The best."

"I'm sorry." he says suddenly.

"Of what?"

"For not doing anything, that night, I asked myself a thousand times why I did not do anything, why I did not help you, why I watched how she...." his breath catches in his throat and he looks away.

"I blame you nothing,"you say, taking his hand in yours and he looks at you,"what happened has happened, it's in the past, there is no point to torment yourself with such things."

"I know but still ..."

"No, Tom, you must let it go, I need you."

"I'm here." he says.

"Okay."

"Are you going to tell me what is troubling you?"

"What? There's nothing troubling me." you say, biting your lip.

"Now I'm sure, you always bite your lip when something is wrong."

You look away and sigh a moment and when you hear him say your name you look at him.

"Please tell me what's wrong, let me help you."

"Some time ago I saw pictures on the internet, of you and I at that restaurant, most fans were surprised that you had a girlfriend but still happy for you and they were very friendly about me, but there were also those who were less friendly towards me."

"What did they write?"

You stop talking and would rater not say what he really stood but Tom squeezes your hand.

"What did they write?"

You sigh again and smiles wryly.

"That I am standing in their place, that I do not deserve you, I'm not beautiful enough or thin enough or even long enough. And uh, they also used the B word, sometimes combined with the F word."

"Okay, I'm not as familiar with acronyms."

"Fucking bitch." you whisper.

"Oh God."

"But that's not all, I saw that one of those girls had posted a link and when I clicked on it, I saw pictures of me and Lucas at the airport, at the furniture store and uh ... before a baby store where we then went inside and she also had something written with that picture. That I was having an affair with Lucas while I was still with you and that I became pregnant with his child and left you to be with him. She said that I broke your heart and you're better off without me and that she would.....hurt me if she ever saw me, making me pay for breaking your heart and some even volunteered to help her. But you know, I know very well that those girls are just jealous of me because I am your girlfriend and that they probably don't mean it but it hurts me that they say such things about me."

"It hurts me too and I am sorry, most of my fans are always very friendly and respectful towards me, but those fans are not real fans and if they can't treat you with respect I don't even want them as fans."

Then you tell him that there were also fans who defended you and he smiles too.

"Those are my real fans, the ones who think that I also have the right to love and happiness," he says and leans forward again, "and they are right, I have a right to privacy even though I'm more or less a public figure and the way that fake fans treat you and talk about you that is unacceptable."

"Yeah well, what can you do." you say, shrugging.

"It is not up to us do something about it, y/n, at least I think so. What I do in my own time and with whom is my business and nobody else. If some of my fans make up stories based on a picture then let them, we know better."

He takes your hand to his mouth and presses a kiss on it and you smile.

"So, where can I place my stuff?" he says.

"Oh, uh .... there are really only two bedrooms furnished, and I'm not sure I'm ready to share a bed with you just yet." you say softly.

"I know, and that's okay, I can take the couch." he suggests.

"No, I'll take the couch," you hear Lucas say," I will get some things out of the bedroom so you can use that."

"That's nice of you." you say.

Lucas nods and walks up the stairs while you and Tom talk some more on the couch.


	44. chapter 43

When Tom's cell phone rings, he picks it out of his pocket and looks at the screen.

"It's Ben." he says.

He picks up and vague you hear his voice, you do not follow exactly what is being said because while Tom is distracted now you have the opportunity to look at him properly. He sits slightly slumped with his legs stretched out and his free hand lies loosely on his belly. Before you know it you slide closer to him and grab his hand to intertwine your fingers and he looks at you. You smile and your other hand supports your head and when he looks at you he pressed the phone against his chest.

"Well?"

"Sophie is working on an important stage play that premieres tomorrow afternoon."

"So they can't come." you say a little disappointed.

"No, and it's already sold out but Sophie wants to see you so they invited us to come and watch tomorrow backstage. If you want."

"Oh, yes, that sounds like fun."

Tom passes on to Ben that you will come and when he hangs up he puts his phone away and sits back again.

"Can I hold you?" he asks.

You smile and nod and Tom keeps his arm up so that you can lie against him and you lay your head on his shoulder and your hand on his chest. He interweaves your fingers together and the fingers of his other hand gently caress your upper arm.

"You know, you do not have to ask my permission any time you want to kiss me or want to hold me."

"I don't want to overstep my boundries."

"And that's very sweet of you but I'm not some frightened animal that will shy away with any sudden movement."

"I know, but I want you to know that I will give you all the space you need. As difficult as it is for me to be so close to you, and not being able to really do anything, I'll wait for you. For as long as it takes for you to be ready." he says and pressed a kiss on your head.

"I found the shoes, and jewelry, they are beautiful."

"Good, but do not yet wear them, I want to put them on you in the restaurant."

"Okay."

You sigh deeply and close your eyes, just enjoying the peace and tranquility, of his fingers gently caressing your skin and you're surprised about the fact how good it feels to be so close to him, how calm his presence makes you and how safe he makes you feel. 

"Tom?"

"Hm?"

"Tell me about the night you suddenly stood on my doorstep."

"You mean the night we declared our love to each other?"

"Yes."

Tom tells you that it was quite late in the evening when he suddenly stood in front of your door and you were so surprised that you slammed the door in his face and you chuckle.

"I was actually a bit startled, I hadn't called or anything but I didn't expect that. I was afraid you did not wanted to see me and that I had come for nothing but I did not simply let myself be send away. When you opened and let me inside you had the scrapbook with the pictures of me in your hand."

"Did you know about it?"

"No, I had no idea but I was flattered. It was still mainly of the play where I played in in London. I invited you for opening night but your boss send you abroad so. I never hated anyone more when you told me," he says laughing and pulling you a little closer," what I didn't know however was that you had asked mom to tape it and send it to you."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, that night I came to you, you said a certain phrase from the play thus I knew you had seen it."

"How long did it run?"

"It was supposed to run for a little over three months but after two months we got damage and had some days off."

"Yes water damage right?" you ask and you suddenly sit up and look at him.

"Yes, that's right," Tom says, laughing, "you see? You rememberd, things will be all right."

Your hand is still resting on his chest and you feel his heart beating very fast.

"Your heart is beating very quickly."

"That's because of you, because you're near me, darling."

"I don't know if that's a compliment, that I let your heart beat so fast, it sounds almost as if you're nervous."

"Yes, maybe a little." he laughs.

"Why?"

"You proximity, it makes me ..... I would really like to kiss you right now, truly kiss you, it's been so long since I felt your lovely soft lips on mine, so perfect, so as one."

"I meant what I said, you do not need to ask permission to kiss me."

"I just .... I don't know .... I'm afraid."

"For what?"

"That when I kiss you I can not stop and can not let you go and you have to push me off and I don't want that."

His hand cups your cheek while his thumb slides over your lips and his eyes flicker to them before he looks at you again. 

"Please, kiss me."

He slowly leans towards you and he licks his lips, it attracts your attention and your eyes go there. You feel his breath on your face and close your eyes and wait for the moment when your lips touch and when they do it is fleeting, fragile and you lean slightly towards him. Tom responds slowly to give you enough time to get used to him and he gently turns your head so he can make the kiss a little more tangible. Your hand fist in his shirt and you draw him closer to you making his arm around your waist tighten and he pulls you closer to him. When you hear someone scraping his throat you let each other go breathlessly.

"I am so, so sorry to disturb you," you hear Lucas say and both you and Tom look up,"but you have to be in the hospital in like, twenty minutes for the ultrasound." Lucas says.

"Oh, of course, thank you."

"Do you want me to go? I mean, now Tom is with you, you are just as safe, I could stay here and besides this is something between you two."

"Yes, of course, thank you." you say.

Lucas nods and walks away, leaving you alone with Tom. You turn your head and look at him to see that he has his eyes closed.

"Hey," you say, and he breathes deeply and he looks at you, "you okay?"

"Yes,"he says and smiles,"that felt good, kissing you again."

"I know, it did. Even though I don't remember you, being with you and feeling your arms around me feels good."

"That's good to hear."

"Yes it's a start, come, we have to go."

You walk after him into the hall and pull your coat on, Tom holds the door open for you and you walk to his car, he holds the door open for you and you get in. In the hospital, it is fortunately fairly quiet and nobody seems to have an idea on who is walking through the corridors. When the gynecologist calls you he follows you inside and you lie on the table while the gynecologist sets the equipment ready. She squeezes some gel from a tube on your stomach and let the doppler slide over it. As soon as the heartbeat of your baby fills the room Tom grabs your hand and squeeze it. When your eyes find each other you smile at him.

"So, you're now 16 weeks, the fetus is about 15 inches and can stretch his body in a little more. He can suck (and possibly even sucks his thumb), swallow and "breathe irregular". The skin is almost transparent, the muscles and bones become stronger, the liver and other organs begin to work. Research shows that the fetus can now feel touch and pain. There is also appearing small downy hairs on the body, this is called lanugo and will let loose again at the end pregnancy. The hairs come in amniotic fluid contact and are therefore swallowed by your little one. They are in the first stool, the meconium, neatly removed again. It all looks very good, strong heartbeat. Do you want me to print out a picture?"

"Yes, that would be great."

The gynecologist prints a picture and gives it to Tom, he takes it and looks at it and you see a fond look in his eyes and a smile on his lips while his finger trace the 15 inches that is your child.

The gynecologists gives you some wipes to clean your belly.

"When your ready I will be waiting in my office." she says while walking away.

"I still can't believe this is really happening, this little miracle, our little miracle." he says but keeps looking at the picture as if it is something sacred.

You smile and sit on the edge of the table and Tom stands up to give you his hand and he helps you off the table. When you sit in front of the gynecologist she grabs your file and looks through it.

"I see you've had a lot of trouble at the beginning of cramps and vomiting," she says, looking up, "you still have problems with that?"

"No, I have no more problems."

"That's nice to hear, that means they probably will not come back. Do you have any questions?"

"No, I do not." you say and look at Tom but he also shakes his head.

"Okay, but if you nevertheless have please do not hesitate to call to ask."

"Okay."

"Shall we meet again in four weeks?"

"Well, it depends,"you say and look towards Tom,"can you be here?"

"Yes, filming will be wrapped up in about three weeks so that's fine."

"I can also tell you whether it will be a boy or a girl, do you want to know that?"

"Oh, I do not know," you say, "we really have no preference."

"I'd like a girl." Tom says suddenly.

"You do?"

"Yes, a boy is fine, of course, but with a girl it is more likely that she is just as beautiful as her mother."

You blush and look away, smile on your lips.

"Right, well, just think about it and then let me know."

The gynecologist writes it down and then says goodbye to you and on the way to the car Tom takes your hand and doesn't let go until you're at the car and he opens the door for you. When you enter the house Tom grabs his suitcase and points upwards.

"I'm going to unpack some things."

Before you can do something he kisses your forehead and he freezes.

"Sorry, that was not ..... it went automatic."

"I meant what I said," you say, grinning, "and when I do not want to be kissed or hugged you will notice it."

Tom smiles and walks up the stairs while you walk into the room and boot your laptop, you get the picture of the ultrasound out and look at it. You make a picture of it and attach your phone to your laptop so you can send the photo around to Tom's mother, father and sisters. When you've done that, Tom walks back into the room with a plastic bag.

"What's in there?" you ask.

"Your dress and my suit." he says.

"Oh?" your answer and get a curious look in your eyes.

"No, you can not see it." he says, laughing.

"Killjoy." you grumble, barely able to suppress a smile.

"Y/N, about tomorrow, it's a premiere, which means that there is a red carpet and there will be many photographers and journalists. Think you can handle that?"

"I don't know but maybe it's good to be seen together, you know, after the photos of Lucas and me."

"Yeah? You'll walk over the red carpet with me?"

"Yes, and if you want I'll even hold your hand," you promise, "but if you're going to talk the press then I'll walk by it."

"If they want to than they have bad luck, I'll stay with you."

You get up and walk to him and take his hand as he walks to the door and opens it to step outside. He turns around and looks at you and because you do not want to give permission again take the initiative and give him a kiss on his cheek, he smiles and cups your cheek.

"I'll pick you up in two hours."

"Okay."

He walks away and just when his fingers slip from yours you say his name and he looks at you.

"Will you do something for me?"

"You name it."

"Do not shave."

"No? Do you like it?"

"Yes, it makes you .... sexy." you say, blushing.

"Okay, in that case,"he says and rummages in his bag to get out his razor blades, "save them for me. You want to do something for me?"

"You name it." you say while taking the razors.

"Wear your hair down."

"Of course."

He turns around again and you keep looking until the lights of his car have disappeared from sight and then you walk back inside. Lucas sits in the living room on the couch with the picture of your baby in his hand and he looks up when he sees you.

"It's still something special, knowing that there is a little person inside you. Just the idea that there is something growing in your belly is incredible."

"I know."

Lucas looks at the ultrasound and you sit down beside him on the couch.

"How far are you now? 16 weeks? Four more and then you know whether it will be a boy or girl."

"How do you know?" asks surprised.

"I have an older sister, she has two children, girls of ten and twelve."

"All ladies already."

"Yes," Lucas says, laughing, "I do not see them much, she is married to an American, nice guy though, nothing against that but I would have preferred that they had stayed here. The last time I saw my nieces the youngest still walked in diapers."

You look at Lucas briefly, in the months that you know him you have never seen this side of him, this sensitive, sweet side and you place your hand briefly on his back. He looks at you and holds up the echo.

"Do you want to know? Boy or girl?"

"I don't know, on one hand I don't, but it can be easy with making the nursery."

"Do you have a preference?"

"No, I do not but Tom said he would prefer a girl."

"Why so?"

"Uhm, well, his reasoning was that when it's a girl it is more likely that she is just as beautiful as I am." you say, rolling your eyes.

"He's right, every daughter of yours will be a heartbreaker."

"Maybe if she inherits Tom's curls and blue eyes."

"Then you and Tom will really have a hard time to fight off the boys."

Lucas lays the echo on the table and leans back and when you let go your eyes over him you see again the likeness he shares with Tom.

"I told Tom what happened between us, or rather what has almost happened." you say.

"What? Why?" Lucas says and looks at you in surprise.

"I don't know, it was out before I knew it." you say.

"Was he angry? I haven't noticed it."

"No, he was alarmed yes but, well, that need for intimacy you talked about, I also had that when we were in Toronto so he blames it on my hormones too. He doesn't blame you anything."

Lucas looks at you, not conviced at all.

"Okay, I'll talk to him about it." you say.

"Are you looking forward to tonight?"

"Yes I am, I don't know if I will remember something but that's okay, I am just looking forward to spending some time alone with him, really alone, you know, just the two of us, maybe that is just what we need to come closer to each other."

"I hope so, you really are perfect for each other."

"Yeah well, if we really are meant to be together then we will, one way or another." you say.

"Go take a shower and get ready."

You laugh and get up to do what he says.

When you are dressed in a sweater and jeans you grab a bag to place the shoes and jewelry in and you see the box with the engagement ring that Tom has given you. You pick up the box and sit down on the edge of the bed before you open it and look at the ring. You take it out carefully and slide it on your finger, you look at it and frown your eyebrows. You wish you could remember his proposal, given the fact that he wants to handle tonight as a real date it was probably very romantic and you make a mental note to ask him about it. When you've taken it off and have put it back in the box someone knocks on your door.

"Are you decent?" you hear Lucas ask.

"Yup." you call and close the drawer.

Lucas opens the door and looks at you.

"Tom is here."

"Oh, he is early." you say.

You get up and grab the bag before you walk down from the stairs and when you walk into the room you see Tom sitting on the couch. He stands up when he sees you and your breath gets stuck in your throat.

"Wow, you look ..... extremely handsome." you say.

"Thank you, you too."

"I am wearing a pair of jeans and a sweater." you say incredulously.

"No matter what you're wearing, you're always beautiful."

You look at him shy and when he smiles at you you actually feel butterflies in your stomach.

"These are for you." he says, and keep up a bouquet of flowers.

"Oh, how sweet of you. Thank you."

You take the flowers and walk to the kitchen to grab a vase but remember you that you don't even have a vase.

"Leave it, I will put them in a bucket of water or something." Lucas says.

"Okay, thank you."

"Shall we go?"

You nod and grab your coat and you feel Tom's hand on your lower back while he leads you to the door. When you look at his car you nod appreciatively.

"Nice car."

"I must impress you."

You look at him smiling and he smiles back as he holds open the door for you. He waits until you sit down and shuts the door before he walks around it and sits down behind the wheel. When he drives off, he looks at you for a moment.

"I did some TV commercials for this brand cars earlier this year and in return, they let me drive one."

"That's generous of them." you say.

"Yes, and they are also not the cheapest cars but very popular so. And what is most important is they are very safe."

When Tom has parked the car and has let you step out he puts his hand on your lower back to guide you to the door and you have to admit that where you would normally be irritated, now you like it and it feels good too. At the bar, Tom goes to a man who greets him kindly, and then looks at you.

"Y/N, good to see you again, just a shame that it is for such a unpleasant reason."

"Thank you. I hope it helps."

"If there is anything I can do for you then let me know," he says before he looks at Tom, "here's the key, I'll bring the food in fifteen minutes."

Tom nods and instead of laying his hand on your lower back he takes it in his now and takes you to the elevator. During the ride up it is quiet but not uncomfortable, and he holds your hand the entire time and when you are on the right floor you walk to the door. He allows you to go in first and you walk into the room, you immediately see the rose petals and Tom gestures you that you should follow it.

"I'll wait in the room for you." he says.


	45. POLL

So I have a little problem to decide whether the reader wants to know if she gets a little boy or girl so I wanna know your opinion, dear readers!

Does the reader (that's you) want to know whether it is a boy or girl or should it remain a surprise until the little one is born?

Give your opinion in a review, it is in your hands, darlings!


	46. chapter 44

You nod and follow the rose petals until you get to the bedroom and onto the bed lies a packet with a note, unwrap me, and you start to unpack it. When the paper is off, you see that it is a beautiful light brown dress, you lift it up and look at it, it has a wide round neck and long sleeves, in some places it is decorated with lace and when you hold it up you see it stops just above your ankles. You lay the dress on the bed and get out of your jeans and sweater and change into the dress and when you're wearing it you realize that you can not get the zipper closed. Hesitantly you walk out of the bedroom and into the room, seeing that Tom is standing at the window looking outside with his hands in his pockets and turns around when he sees you standing in the window.

"You look breathtaking, y/n." he says as he walks toward you.

"Thank you, I just can't close the zipper, would you ...?"

"Of course."

He stands behind you and pulls the zipper slowly upwards and when he walks to the bag to get the pumps you see your reflection in the window and you turn yourself around to see better.

"Do you like it?"

"Yes, it's beautiful. Where did you get it?"

"From the set of Crimson Peak."

"What?" you say and look at him.

"Don't worry, I did not steal it," he says immediately, "that night that I have taken you to the set you have seen a few dresses and you were very impressed so I asked Guillermo if I could take one for you."

"That's nice of him."

"Yes, and you can keep it."

You smile and see that Tom is holding up the pumps.

"May I?" he asks.

You nod and walk to the couch so you can lean against it to keep your balance and your watch how Tom slides the pumps on your feet, both times he cups your heel. When he is done he stands up and his take take in your form and the end with yours and he looks at you lovingly.

"You look really stunning."

You smile and blush before Tom walks to the bag and takes the jewelry out, first he closes the bracelet around your wrist and then the necklace but the earrings he leaves to you.

"So, what did we do first?"

"Dancing." he says and walks to the stereo to turn it on.

"In these shoes?" you say incredulously.

"A slow dance and it went fine," he says and walks towards you again, "and do not worry, I'll hold you tight."

He takes your hand with his and lays his other hand on your lower back, you put an arm around his neck and carefully Tom gathers you against him and when your bodies touch each other your eyes flicker to his.

"Are you okay with this?" he asks.

"Yes, it's fine," you say, and you begin to slowly move to the sounds of the music, "I may not know you but to be so close to you feels good. It does all day actually, as if my subconscious automatically knows that it is okay, that you have the right to do this."

"Well, I'm glad your subconscious thinks about me that way."

He brings your hand to his lips and pressed a kiss there before he puts them together against his chest. He is so close that you feel his breath ghost over your face and when he lays his forehead against yours he takes a deep breath. You put your head in the crook of his neck and close your eyes to enjoy his presence, his arm around you and his peaceful heartbeat. You feel a serenity fall over you and a smile forms on your face and when you suddenly feel two lips on the place your neck meets your shoulder you shiver up against him. Tom leans back and looks at you quizzically.

"Was that okay?"

"Yes, that felt really good." You say.

"You always responded that way when I would kiss you there and I would like to try something else."

"Okay." you say hesitantly.

The hand on your back moves and he lets his fingers slowly slide up your spine and your breath falters in your throat under his touch and you push closer to him. Your lips are close to one another and when he opens his mouth you know what he's going to ask, but before he can utter a single word you close the distance between you to kiss him deeply. Tom makes a startling sound in his throat, but he kisses you back and the arm around your waist tightens its grip on you, you let your fingers slip into his hair and free your hand from his to also slip it in his hair. The kiss is intense and full of fire and suddenly you stand with your back against the wall, Tom cups your cheek with one hand to deepen the kiss and the other is slowly sliding up your side but when he accidentally touches your breast you gasp and break the kiss. Tom immediately lets you go and sets two steps back, giving you enough space.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry ...." he says.

"No, it does not matter, it was, uh ....." you place your hand against your forehead to get your thoughts in order.

"I did not ..... it was not my intention to touch you ..... there." he says and blushes slightly.

"I know that."

"It's just that.....our relationship was just so intense, physically intense and......."

"Yeah, you told me, but I can't give you that form of intimacy right now, not that I don't want to because it does feel good but I just can't."

"I know and I meant what I said, I will give you all the time you need, I let myself get carried away."

He gets interrupted by a knock on the door and you both look up and then at each other.

"So, we're okay?" he asks.

You look at him and frame his face with your hands.

"We are fine." you say, smiling.

"Good." he says and you hear the relief in his voice.

"You should open the door."

"What? Oh, yes, uhm, why don't you go into the room next to this one, have a seat." he says.

You nod and you walk to the next room and sit down. The kiss genuine felt right and you have the idea that you could have kissed him a little longer but the touch against your breast came unexpectedly and you take a deep breath. Than Morgan walks into the room with the food and he sets it in front of you while Tom sits down beside you. When Morgan has left you alone again you grab the lobster without thinking about it and tear the legs off and then pick them empty with the pin. When you chew your suddenly notice that Tom looks at you with raised eyebrows.

"What?" you ask.

"You know how to eat lobster." he says surprised.

"Um, yes it went automatic, did I ate it a lot before the accident?"

"No, you had never eaten it, I had to teach you."

"Oh, well you have done well then that I remember that."

"Apparently." he says, laughing.

During dinner you ask him about when and how you met and he tells you about the museum and about his sunglasses you brought him the next day followed by spending the evening together. 

"And that evening you stood on my doorstep, when was that?"

"Two years later."

"Why did it took so long before one of us said something?" 

"We both had our reasons, me because I wanted you to have a normal life with someone who could be there for you all the time and who wouldn't leave you alone for sometimes months on end and you, well, because you never thought of yourself being beautiful enough for me which is ridiculous."

"Well, I'm not that beautiful." you say.

"You are to me, inside and out," Tom says and looks at you,"on the night I came to you you were wearing shorts and a t-shirt and your hair was uncombed but to me you were still stunning."

You smile and when you start dessert and when you are finished you ask Tom what you did then and then he looks away laughing.

"Well, you went into the bedroom to put on another dress and I to the bathroom to come out as Loki."

"The one you played?"

"Yes, that one."

"Why?"

"Well, because when I came to your house that night I saw you had three posters hanging on your bedroom wall, one of me, one of Coriolanus and one of Loki, so.."

"Ohhh." you say significantly.

"Yeah, but you couldn't."

"Because?"

Tom explains to you that you did not feel comfortable to be intimate with another man, even though you knew it was Tom in costume, you felt too many things differently than when Tom would do it and that it felt too much like cheating so you could not continue and you smile.

"I was really flattered, you know? That you need to stay faithful to me was so great."

"That I understand, even if the sexy God Loki can not seduce me then my love for you must have been very strong."

"Have been?" Tom asks, noting that you use the past tense, and you hear the insecurity in his vouce.

You come forward and take his hand.

"I may not remember you or that love but I'm sure it is somewhere inside me, how else do you explain that it feels so good to feel your arms around me? Or why it feels natural to kiss you."

Tom smiles and looks at your hands and then to you.

"What do you want to do?" he asks.

"I don't know, maybe we can move into the living room."

"Okay."

Tom holds your hand and with the other takes his wineglass as he gets up and you walk into the living room, without noticing you walk to the window, the many lights that illuminate London attract your attention and Tom follows you. Then you notice that he is still holding your hand and you look it at for a moment, smiling when you see his thumb turns circles on your skin and you frown your eyebrows.

"What's wrong?"

"Your thumb, the circles it makes, feels familiar."

"I did that often with you."

"I'm glad I can remember more and more." you say.

"Me too, I'm glad Guillermo gave me the opportunity to come here and spend time with you."

"Was it his decision?" you ask.

"Yes, but I think it's also because the last days I was very restless, not to be with you when you needed me, that was hard for me." he says and looks at his wine.

"I'm glad you're here." you say.

Tom looks at you and smiles, you do not know exactly what it is but you suddenly feel the urge to kiss him and you bite your lip, automatically Tom brings his hand to your face and cups your cheek while his thumb pulls away your lip between your teeth. You step forward while Tom does the same and halfway your lips meet. The kiss starts cautiously, tentatively but soon becomes deeper, your arms go around his neck and his slide around your waist to pull you against him. When you let go of each other you are breathless and he looks at you.

"Would you lie with me? On the couch? I just ..... I want to be close to you." you ask and you feel yourself blush.

Tom smiles and takes you to the couch, he puts his glass on the coffee table and then lies down before he looks at you and he goes lying on his back. You snuggle next to him, head on his shoulder and hand on his chest, while his arm goes around you and he caresses your upper arm. Your fingers of the hand on his stomach draw circles and your eyes follow the movement.

"You look very slim and narrow but I'm sure that underneath this shirt your hidden muscles."

"You're free to check." Tom says, and you look at him, laughing.

"Are you serious? I mean, isn't that....weird?"

"No, why? I have been in much less in your presence." he says and gives you a wink.

You blush but still hesitate, you have to admit you are curious.

"Are you sure?"

Tom nods and you look back at his shirt and his buttons, your fingers moves to the first and you unbutton it slowly followed by the second and third and fourth and fifth and eventually you slowly reveal his chest. You slide the shirt aside and your fingers dance across his muscles which twitch under your touch and you smile.

"You're gorgeous." you say.

"Thank you."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why me?"

"You have to give me something more than that."

"You're a famous movie star, you're beautiful, educated, smart, wonderful and sexy, you're every woman's dream. Why me?"

"When we met two years ago, in that museum in York at the restaurant you first didn't know who I was, you only realized when I told you I had fled from London because I missed walking down the street in peace and even then you treated me normal, with you I'm just any ordinary man, and I think that is important that I can be myself with you because there are already to much people who put me on a pedestal and that you have never done that is so refreshing, and you are also smart and sweet and caring and beautiful and sexy and I want nobody else, ever. I have always only had eyes for you and it will always stay like that." he says and pushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

You smile and your eyes slide over his chest again and before you realize what you are doing you lean forward and plant soft gentle kisses on his chest while your fingers caress his muscles and you can feel Tom stiffen beneath you at your sudden treatment and the fingers on your upper arm strengthen their grip on you. You work your way to the middle of his chest and Tom's other hand finds its way into you hair while you cautiously bite and then let your tongue go over it soothingly. You hear his breathing falter in his throat and feeling bold, you swing your leg over his hips to straddle him and your lips make a path upwards to eventually end up at one of his nipples, letting your lips close around it and your teeth tug it softly. Tom moans above you and you repeat the movement with the other before your lips trail upwards and you kiss the spot under his ear, making him shiver underneath you.

"Y/N, please....fuck...."

"Oh such language." you murmur against his skin.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I just.....God, you have no idea what you do to me." Tom laughs breathlessly.

The fingers in your hair steer you towards his lips and you feel his stubble poking into your skin before you reach those soft thin lips and you let him kiss you. After the kiss you look at him and you see that the blue is almost black.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"Yeah, just ...., maybe we should stop," he pants,"while I can still control myself."

You smile and nod before you squirm down a little, between the backrest of the couch and Tom's side and you lie your head on his chest, eyes closing.

When you feel something caressing your cheek you open your eyes and you see two blue eyes that look at you affectionately.

"Hey, beautiful." he says.

You blink your eyes when you notice that you are no longer on the couch but on the bed and slowly you sit up straight and look around.

"I fell asleep." you say.

"Yes, I've tried to wake you but I couldn't so eventually I carried you here." he explains.

"Thank you." you say.

You feel movement beside you and two lips kissing your shoulder and you look around.

"Maybe we should go back home."

"Yeah, maybe." you say.

You step out of bed and walk to the door, after you have said goodbye to Morgan and sit in the car you wait until he starts it but when he doesn't you look at him.

"What is it?"

"I want to take you somewhere, you feel up for it?"

"Yeah sure." you say.

Tom starts the car and drives off to park his car a little later at a large blue illuminated bridge and you bend your neck to see it. Tom gets out and opens the door for you, you take his hand to help you get out of the car, taking a better look at the impressive bridge.

"That's the Tower Bridge, one of London's local attractions."

"It's beautiful," you say,"you brought me here before, haven't you?"

"Yes, that same day, you remember?"

"Yeah, vaguely I do, but it wasn't at night."

"No it wasn't, but you made me promise you to bring you back when it was, so, here we are," he says 

As you walk to the tower you see that there are several groups of people are scattered around. You and Tom walk across the parking lot to the cash register and although it is dark you notice that some people look at him and even point and occasionally you see a flash, meaning that someone is taking a picture.

"I wonder how fast that will appear on the Internet." Tom mutters.

"And how surprised your fans will be to see us together, hand in hand after the pictures of me and Lucas." you whisper and Tom chuckles.

"Do you mind?"

"No, I'm just wondering why they do not come to you."

"Well, there are quite a few celebrities living in London, most people are used to it and they realize that we are everyday people. That's one of the things why I'm sure I will stay here all my life. Here I can quietly walk the streets without been accosted at every corner."

When you arrive at the cash register Tom buys two tickets and he takes your hand again to take you inside. After a hellish climb of God knows how many steps you finally get to the top and walk over the bridge and look around, the wind is blowing your hair around your face and you duck deeper into your jacket. Then you see that the bridge is made of glass and you laugh.

"I can see straight through it! This is great!" 

"The last time you responded very differently when you looked down."

"Really? How?"

"Frantic, and you stepped back as close as possible against the railing."

"Was I afraid of heights?"

"Not that I knew and you said yourself that it was not afraid of heights, but just the fact that you can look straight down and see the cars and cyclists."

You frown your eyebrows and walk to the railing, you stand next to Tom and overlook a stunning illuminated London.

"This view is really beautiful."

"That's for sure." you hear Tom say.

When you see Tom moving you turn your head and he goes standing behind you, his hands on both sides of your body and he kisses your neck. You turn your head to him and unconsciously lean slightly towards him. Tom does the same and when your lips meet you sigh longingly. Slowly and without breaking the kiss you turn around in his embrace and you push yourself closer to him, your fingers fisting into his coat. You feel his arms snake around your waist and he turns his head to deepen the kiss. Breathless you let go and you close your eyes for a moment, Tom's hand cups your head and he pressed it against his collarbone, giving you a kiss on your crown.


	47. Chapter 45

"Can I ask something?"

"Sure."

You look up at him and he looks at you, too.

"Tell me about your proposal to me."

Tom smiles and glances over London before he looks at you again.

"Well, as you know, we first had dinner and then I brought you to the set, first I let you look around and then I took you into a room where I had scattered rose petals around, and with here and there a vase with a flower in it stood and then we danced on music and I told you during that dance how important you are to me and that I want to share the rest of my life with you. I have literally laid bare my soul to you and then I got down on one knee and asked you to be my wife."

"I knew it would be something romantic," you say,"I wish I could remember."

"Me too, but maybe with time you will." he says.

"Did we also talked about the wedding? Something in terms of how we want it?"

"Um, that we want to keep it small, just family and friends and then I mentioned the Isle of White, this beautiful little island on the south coast of England, it has a few churches and a hotel where guests can stay and where we can have the dinner and reception and of course the party."

"Sounds great."

"It's going to be great, darling, it's is going to be the beginning of our life together, the life I've always dreamed of with the woman of my dreams."

You smile and press yourself closer to him and his hands slide over your back.

"Ready to go home?" he whispers.

"Yeah."

After he has given you a last kiss he takes your hand and together you walk down, both very elated but when you get to the car, you see that there is a note clamped under the windshield wiper and you immediately stop walking.

"Tom?" you say.

"Yeah, I see it," he says and places his hand on your lower back to guide you while he looks around," get in the car."

"Aren't you ..."

"Get in the car, please."

You sit in the car and after Tom has closed the door, he snatches the piece of paper from under the windshield wiper and gets in quickly.

"Show me."

"Y/N ..."

"Show me, Tom." you say compelling.

Tom sighs and gives you the note.

Gosh, what am romantic, Tom picking you up at home with flowers and takes you somewhere to eat and finally takes you to the Tower Bridge, I hope you have thoroughly enjoyed it since it could have been your last 'date'.

You let your hand down and look out the window, Tom grabs the note from you and stuffs it in his pocket, he puts his hand on your cheek and turns your face towards him.

"Hey, look at me," he waits until you look at him, "this is our night and let's not let it get ruined by her."

"Okay." you say softly.

Then he leans forward and gives you a kiss, a tender loving kiss that makes you forget the note before he you starts the car and drives home. When you arrive at the house it is dark and you realize that Lucas is already in bed. You walk past all the windows you can find and check if they are locked, when that is done you walk up the stairs and at the bedroom door you look at him.

"Thank you for tonight, I found it very enjoyable and the fact that I remember more and more is a good sign."

"I wish you remembered me again, and what we have shared."

"Me too, but I know after tonight, when that not happen, we will simply make new memories, together and with this little one."you say, laying your hands on your stomach.

"That would be nice."

He entangles his fingers with yours and leans forward to give you a kiss and your arms automatically go around his neck and his go around your waist. After the kiss you turn around and open your door and as you step inside Tom whispers your name and you look at him.

"Goodnight, darling, don't forget the check your windows okay, I'll do the same and if you need me, I'm close."

"Okay." You say.

You close the door and lean against it, you close your eyes and a smile appears on your face and thinking of what happened that night you feel a tingling sensation in your body. You sigh deeply and walk into the bathroom to brush your teeth and you to change and when you lie in your bed your thoughts soon go to Tom and everything that happenend and with a smile on your face you try to gets om sleep. After an hour has passed you didn't manage to get any sleep, the note from Lisa has rattled your cage and you're suddenly afraid. And the sudden thunderstorm does not help to tame your nerves. Every time you see a flash of light that lights up the room you think you see shadows. You try to convince yourself of the fact that all doors and windows are locked and that she can not come in and you think of Tom who is lying in the room next to you and when a improbable loud crash is heard outside you suddenly stand beside your bed and you walk out of your room. Carefully you open the door to Tom's bedroom and look inside, he lies on his back and you can see his silloute by the faint light of the moon. You step inside and close the door before you walk over to the bed and lift the sheet to get underneath. You crawl as close as possible against him, arm around his waist and head in the crook of his neck and you sniff his scent that makes you instantly feeling better. When his breathing changes you know you've woken him up.

"Hey you." he says sleepily.

"Hey, sorry I woke you up, but I .... I was scared all of a sudden," you say with a small voice,"and the thunderstorm didn't help either."

"That's okay," he says while his arms close around you to draw you closer to him,"I'll ask Loki to kick Thor's ass."

"What?"

"Thor is Loki's brother and the God of Thunder." he explains.

You giggle and creep a little closer to him.

"I know it's stupid but ...."

"No, it is not stupid, I understand and I'm glad you came to me."

"I feel safe with you."

"You are safe with me, darling, even though in the past I have not been able to protect you, that will never happen to me again. Go to sleep."

He strengthens his grip around your frame and you press yourself even closer to him, his strong arms immediately give you a sense of security but your are still a little shaken.

"Could you please keep talking to me? Your voice....it's soothing."

"Of course, darling."

Tom starts whispering sweet nothings into your ear and soon you fall asleep.

When you wake up the next morning you lie on your side, looking at the windows and suddenly you smell something, you sniff with your nose and smile. Slowly you turn until you are on your other side and when Tom appears in your field of vision, dressed in jeans and shirt, barefoot, hair a little tussled, he smiles back.

"Good morning, darling," he says, and slides off the chair to end up on his knees before the bed, "I have breakfast for you."

He reaches for something out of sight and you get up slightly, then a tray with some bread comes out, a croissant, an egg and fresh orange juice which he carefully sets on bed between you.

"You're the best." you say.

You sit up and cross your legs under your body.

"How long have you been up?"

"Awhile," he admits, "I hope you do not mind, I always loved to watch you sleep."

"Why?" you ask surprised as you take a sip of your drink.

"Normally you are already beautiful but when you sleep you are so ..... serene, at ease, disarming. I can spend hours watching you while you sleep."

You smile and start to peel the egg while Tom sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Will you not have some?"

"No, I've already had breakfast, along with Lucas."

"Okay."

"He uh .... behaved a bit odd, and when I asked him about it he began to speak stammering." he says, laughing.

You stop pealing and look at him, you have an inkling what's coming.

"He still feels guilty towards me because you have almost kissed but I told him the same thing I've told you."

"Has it helped?"

"I think so after I told it to him like thousand times he relaxed more, we're good. I gave him the note from Lisa."

"What did he say?"

"He said he couldn't believe that she had been following us all the time, he went home with the her file to think."

"Thank you, for last night," you say,"I hope you got some sleep after I came to you."

"I slept fine, you fell asleep pretty quickly and so did I, I always sleep like a rock with you in my arms." he says smiling.

You continue with breakfast and it amazes you it feels so good to be in his company, even though it is silent.

"Ben also called, the premiere begins at 14:00, on one side there is a high fence with posters of the cast and on the other side there will be the photographers and journalists, so if we make sure that we are a bit later than that we can slip through behind the cast, maybe we can stay unseen then. "

"It's worth a try," you say, and take the last bite of your crossaint, "did I go along to premieres with you before my accident?"

"Sure, just never the red carpet, you always told me that you would probably feel like a deer caught in the headlights and would stumble over your dress or heels and you might fall on your behind and that with your luck you would take me with you, "he says, laughing," usually I found someone who works in the theaters and was willing to smuggle you in through a back entrance so I saw you in the theater."

"Sounds like a lot of hassle just to have me there."

"Sometimes it was," he says and takes your hand in his, "but I would not have wanted it differently, you were and are next to my parents and sisters the most important person in my life and on such important moments I wanted to have you with me."

You smile and the honesty and sincerity touches you and also the fact that he wanted to have you with so badly fills you with warmth. After your done with breakfast Tom suggests that he cleans up and that you take a shower. You nod and wait until Tom is gone before you walk into the bathroom. After the shower, you dress in a black pants with a green shirt above and when you enter the landing you can hear water running in Tom's bedroom. You bite your lip and slowly walk towards the door which is slightly open, you peek inside and call his name but you hear nothing. Actually you have to go downstairs maybe he is in the shower and the thought alone makes a shudder run through your body. Yet you push the door open and your eyes go to the bathroom door, falling on the mirror and making contact with crystal blue's. When he turns around and pushes open the door you set a step backwards, noticing he is only wearing his jeans.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, I just ..."

"No it does not matter," he says, and then you can see he has rubbed the lower part of his face with shaving cream, "I know you find it irresistible but for a premiere it has to go."

"That's okay." you say.

"Nice shirt, lovely color." he says with a twinkle in his eye.

"Thank you." your answer slowly, not understanding what he meant by that tone in his voice.

"Oh you do not know, green is Loki's color."

"Oh, okay, I understand." you laugh.

"Come here." he says, and reaches out his hand.

You hesitate but you walk up to him and when he takes your hand he draws you into the bathroom and when you stand before the mirror he holds up the razor.

"What? Oh no, I can not ...." you say.

"Yes you can, I trust you."

"And if I hurt you?"

"Well, you can always kiss it to make it better." he says with a grin.

You look at him and just when he wants to apologize you grab the razor from him.

"Perhaps you will regret that decision." you say.

He smiles and looks up so you can start but the distance is too high for you.

"I can not reach this way."

Before you know it his hands grab your hips and he turns to lift you up on the sink, he pulls you to the edge and goes standing between your legs and he looks at you.

"Is this okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, fine." you answer softly.

Tom puts his hands beside your legs and bring the razor up.

"Long gentle strokes." he says.

You nod and he lays his head in his neck while you put your free hand on his chest, you lay the razor against his skin and slowly you stroke up to just below his chin, you repeat it until you are finished, then he turns his other cheek.

"From the ear to the inside." he says.

You do what he says, and when you're done you do the other side with as much care, he pushes his chin forward and very gently you shave him and finally the piece on his upper lip. When you're done you put the razor away and grab a towel to wipe away the leftovers of shaving cream and when you put away the towel you frame his face with your hands.

"All nice and smooth." you say.

Tom looks at you and smiles, you let your hands slowly slide down his slender neck, his collarbones followed by your eyes and ultimately they are resting on his stomach.

"Your so beautiful." you say, appreciation sounding in your voice.

On a whim you lay your legs around his hips and lock your ankles behind his back pulling him against you and your arms circle around his waist. You dip your head down and place a feather-light kiss on his nipple and you hear his breath hitch in his throat and and you smile against his skin. One of your hands creeps forward and your thumb caresses his other nipple while your tongue keeps itself busy kissing the nipple and sometimes you bite it. You can hear his breathing speed up and his fingers slip into your hair, chin resting on your head. The hand on his lower back slides down and it disappears into the backpocket on his jeans and you squeeze it playfully.

"Y/N, please .." he says slowly.

"Please what?"

"I could barely hold myself back last night....I don't know if I can now..."

"Then don't."

"What?"

You look up at him and he looks down to look at you, the blue of his eyes almost black with desire for you. You let a hand move up and your thumb slides over his lower lip and Tom turns his head slightly to close his lips around it and he sucks lightly, your breath falters in your throat and you can not suppress a groan when his tongue moves over your thumb. When you pull away your thumb from between his lips he suddenly comes forward and kisses your lips passionately, you kiss him back wholeheartedly. This kiss is different from the others that you have shared, it is full of passion, desire and even longing and when Tom lets his tongue slide over your lower lip you open your mouth for him to let your tongues play with each other. You feel how his hands suddenly lie on your legs and slowly slide up, you feel their warmth through your pants and your fingers slip into his hair, tugging his curls making him moan brokenly into your mouth. One of his hands slides to your knee and he tries to pull you even closer while the kiss is getting more and more heated and when he pushes you up against him you feel how hard he is and you gasp into his mouth breaking the kiss, but Tom moves his kisses to your neck and the hand under your buttock slides up under your shirt and you shiver when his fingers touch your bare skin.

"Tom ...." you moan.

He hums against your skin, and you put your head in your neck to give him more space but when his grip tightens around your waist and his fingers press into your flesh you suddenly feel uncomfortable sitting on the hard surface of the sink and you squirm placing your hands against to his shoulders.

"Tom, wait ..."

He stops kissing your neck and put his hands beside your legs again, he lays his forehead against yours, breathing heavily.

"Please don't tell me you changed your mind, I couldn't bear....."

You lay your finger on his lips and search for his eyes and when you find them you smile.

"Take me to bed." you say.

"Are you sure?" he asks.

"Yes, make love to me."

He smiles and one hand finds the back of your knee and the other snakes around your waist while your arms move around his neck and he lifts you up to walk to the bed, he crawls on his knees to the middle and slides one hand up to support your lower back while he slowly lays you down he hovers over you. The hand on your knee goes up and ends on your cheek which he cups.

"Really sure?" he asks again.

"Yes, I beg you if I have to."

"No," he says, smiling, "you never have to beg me for anything, I'll give you anything you want."

"I want you."

"You got me, darling, you've always had me, I've always been yours."

He leans forward to kiss your lips and soon they find their way to your neck and he kisses the spot between your neck and shoulder and you shiver under his touch. His fingers disappear under your shirt and they push it up and his lips kiss each piece of skin he reveals. You come up a little so that he can pull it off you and it lands somewhere beside the bed. His head dips low and with his nose he follows the contours of your breast through your bra and close his lips around your nipple and you feel through the fabric of the bra how his tongue slides over it. You arch your back and your hand disappears into his hair while he goes to the other breast and gives it the same treatment before he goes down and kisses your belly and he softly whispers "I love you" against your abdomen and you do not know whether he's talking to you or your baby. He sits down on his knees and his hands open your pants and then slowly pulls it off your hips and you lift them up to help him. Then he lets himself fall forward and he places his hands beside your head before you kiss and he pushes his hips down against yours, making you feel how much he wants you.

After the kiss your hands slide down across his chest and they rest on the waistband of his jeans before you open it and pull the zipper down, Tom helps you by lifting his hips and you let your hand slip by the band and cup him through the fabric of his boxers. Tom moans and puts his head in the crook of your neck while you gently massage it.

"Fuck, y/n .... God, I've missed your touch. No one else's touch has ever felt as good as yours...so right..." he moans into your ear.

You smile and pull your hand back slowly to push the jeans of his hips, and when that also lies besides the bed he kisses your neck, collarbone, swelling of your breasts and your back arches when his hand goes under your back and he loosens the closing of your bra. You pull it off yourself and throw it away while Tom kisses your breast and when he gently bites your nipple and his fingers sink lower your fingers slip in his hair, he puts one leg outside yours and his hand disappears in your slip to rub your slit and you groan. You roll your hips against his touch and as he finds your clit there goes an electrical charge through you and suddenly you have the the pressing need to feel him.

"Tom ...." you say softly.

"Hmm?"

"Please ....."

He looks up at you and raises his eyebrow, questioningly.

"Take me."

"I'm working towards it."

"No, I want you now."


	48. chapter 46

Slowly he pulls his hand out of your slip and he eagerly pushes it down your legs before he takes off his boxer and crawls over you while his eyes slowly roam over your naked body, drinking you in and eventually he looks up at you. He sees the shyness in your eyes and the blush on your cheeks and he smiles as he hovers above you and you turn your eyes away from the almost piercing look in his.

"Am I making you shy?" he asks.

"Maybe a little." you answer softly.

"God, you really have no idea how beautiful and enchanting you truly are, haven't you?"

You shrug and Tom lays his hand on your cheek to turn your face towards him and slowly you look at him. He lets go of your cheek but your eyes keep looking at him, trapped by the intense blue eyes that look at you almost in worship. You feel his fingers lightly slide over your neck to your collarbone and they end up at your breast, which he cups, and he lets his thumb go over your nipple untill it is hard. You close your eyes and you gasp as you press yourself up against his touch.

"God, the way you respond to my touch, so needy." he says and leans forward to kiss your neck.

His fingers continue their exploration of your body and caress your side making you squirm and he smiles.

"So sensitive," he murmurs, "did you miss it? My fingers caressing you, my lips kissing your body?"

"Yes." you gasp.

"Probably not as bad as I've missed your tempting body, darling,"he says and comes up to look at you,"but I intend to make you feel it." 

He nestles between your legs, one hand still next to your head and the other pushes your leg aside and then he places his erection against your opening. The hand around your waist slips under your buttocks and raises your hips up while he pushes himself slowly inside you. You arch your back and then push your head in the pillow of pleasure and when he penetrates you completely he grabs your leg and lays it around his waist while his slowly starts thrusting and making swiveling movements, searching for that one spot that only he can find so good and you moan when he does, pushing you ancles in his lower back to feel him deeper, urging him on to go faster, harder but he keeps his rythm slow until you can't take it anymore.

"Faster, fuck me for real."

"There are those hormones again." he says, smiling.

The thrusts immediately go faster and soon he finds your spot and you moan lustful, pulling his hair making him moan too. Fingers slide up over your side and squeeze your breast and lick and bite the other pushing you ever further to the edge. The thrusts are harder and deeper and when the frame of the bed slams against the wall your thankful that Lucas is gone and that knowledge makes your moaning get louder.

"That's it, let me hear you, darling, God, I missed you so much."

"What did you miss?" you gasp.

"Everything, your beautiful body, your fingers caressing my skin, your lips that kiss me, your pussy that sucks me in," his fingers go down and he plays with your clit, "vous a laissé crier, gémissement."

He presses on your clit and you feel the beginning of you orgasm and your mouth drops open, forming a perfect 'O'.

"God, to see you falling apart beneath me, because of _me_ , it's such an incredible privilege to witness, y/n."

Then your body spirals into a wave of pleasure and your muscles tighten around his shaft and you feel how he sprays long streams of seed inside you. You stay in each other arms as long as possible and when he rolls off you he pulls you towards him to kiss you. You sigh deeply and put your head on his shoulder as his fingers caress your upper arm.

"Was it always like this?"

"The sex? Yeah, pretty much."

"God, I hope it stays that way and that we don't develop a routine in bed after a certain time." you sigh.

"Not if I can help it, darling, and as long as I have such a stunning body like yours next to me in bed, I can not imagine."

"Enjoy it then, before you know it I'm as big as a whale."

"A gorgeous whale." he says and kisses your forehead. 

"I have nothing to wear." you say suddenly.

"What?"

"I don't have a dress to put on except the dress from last night but if we want to keep it low key that one falls off."

"We can buy a new one." Tom suggests.

"Hmm, we'd better get up then."

You make a move but Tom strengthens his grip around your waist and you look at him.

"No, I do not want to let go of you, it's been too long since I held you like this."

"What about my dress?"

"I can call someone who has a boutique in the city."

Before you can say something Tom reaches for his phone and press a number, you hear him say that he would like a simple black dress, above the knee that flows out from your waist and gives your size.

"Oh, can you slide it underneath the fence? I do not think we'll be able to open."

You look up at him questioningly when he has disconnected and raise an eyebrow.

"Unable to open?" you ask.

"Yes, because I'm not finished yet with rediscovering your delightful body which I have missed for far too long."

Before you can do anything else, he sits down between your legs and suddenly he grabs your hands to push you back and you give a little squeal and when you have recovered a bit again he kisses and licks your belly. You smile and let your hands disappear in his curls to pull him up and kiss him, during the kiss your hands wander to his chest and you gather all your strength to throw him on his back and suddenly you straddle him .

"What you are doing?" he asks, laughing.

"You have discoverd my body again, now it's my turn." you say.

He smiles and you lean forward to give him a kiss before you sit back again and your fingers slide over his shoulders to his collarbones where they draw a track to his nipples and you let the nail of your finger slide around it. You can hear his breath hitching his throat and you look at him, his eyes are closed and his lower lip is trapped between his teeth. You sit on your knees and you slide backwards so his semi hard dick makes contact with your slit and rubs over it. You groan simultaneously and you feel his hands on your hips to push you down further. However, you resist and lean down to take a nipple in your mouth and bite it gently, gradually you work yourself a way down, planting kisses and small licks everywhere before you lips kiss a way up again to his other nipple before you trace it with you tongue and gently bite it. One of your hands goes down and disappears between your legs to take his hard shaft and slowly you move your hand up and down.

"Fuck," Tom gasps, "please."

"Please what?" you murmur while you keep kissing him.

"I need ....." he lifts his hips up off the bed,"within you."

"Again?"

"Yes, I can be within you for the rest of my life, y/n, such a perfect fit." he smiles.

Without further ado you place him against your slit and you slowly move down until you have him fully within you, you put your head in your neck and groan when he suddenly pushes his hips up and touches your spot. You put your hands on his chest and make circular movements while Tom rocks his hips up and eventually he grabs your hips firmly to place more force behind it. It does not take long before you feel that familiar tingling feeling in your stomach and the hitch in his breathing indicates that Tom is also close. Suddenly he throws you on your back and before you can say anything he pushes his dick deep inside you, hoisting your legs over his hips and breathing heavily. Your hands go to his back and you push you nails into his flesh.

"Just look at you, so unrestrained in your desire, your need to satisfy yourself and still a vision of such beauty."

When you reach your peak, followed by Tom. Panting, he lets himself fall beside you and you let him lay you on your side so he can pull you close to him, arm around your waist and face in your neck.

"I was wrong," you say suddenly,"God, I was so wrong."

"About what?"

"I have said to your mother that it would take time before we could pick up from where we left off, that I needed to trust you again. It just feels so good, being with you feels so good. Like I never have known otherwise, as if it has always been like this, when you are with me I feel complete, I feel one with you. I still do not really know you but you do not feel like a stranger to me, you feel safe, being with you and lying in your arms like this feels like home."

"Because it is, you once told me that the safest place you know is in my arms and that is because it's your home."

"I know," you say,"how long do we have?" 

Tom turns around to look at his phone and as it turns out you still have two hours before you have to go, two hours which are used to caress, kiss, rediscover and eventually it turns into intense lovemaking and when you are sweating in each other's arms after you look at him.

"I think we need to take a shower to wash off the sweat."

"Can not agree with you more." Tom laughs.

"Race me?" you ask.

Tom laughs and he grabs for you but you are too fast and he grabs air, you run to the shower and just when your hand reaches out to the faucet two arms slip around your waist and he pulls you close to him, kissing your neck.

"I love you." he says.

You turn on the tap and look it him over your shoulder.

"I love you too."

"So, you're mine again?"

"I've always been yours, even when I did not know myself."

You smile and step into the shower and when you are done and you have towled yourself off you quickly pull something on and you walk down to pick up your dress and when you're upstairs you look to your bedroom door. Although he now has seen you naked you still feel exposed and you pass on to Tom that you will dress in your own room. You put the package on the bed and let the towel fall to the ground. You open the package and take the dress out, it's just like the dress Tom described to his friend and you get dressed and when you're wearing it you look in the mirror. Despite being a simple dress, you look amazing and you feel beautiful too. You smile and walk to the stairs and when you're halfway Tom suddenly appears at the bottom of the stairs and he smiles at you. He reaches out his hand and you accept it so he can help you down and he lets you spin around.

"You look gorgeous, darling." he says.

"Thank you."

He pulls you in his arms to give you a kiss and for a moment you remain standing like that, just enjoying each other's company and closeness and eventually you two let go. He gives you your coat but your stop him and lay the coat away to lead him into the livingroom where you turn around to face him. He looks at you with a question in his eyes but then you hold up your hand and his eyes go there and you see a sparkle in them when he sees what is lying in your palm.

"Are your sure?"

"Yes," you say,"I know we've only spent two days together, but it feels good to be with you, with you I feel like every woman should feel with the love of her life; beloved, wanted, secure, comfortable. Your my home, Tom."

Tom smiles and takes the box out of your hand and while he opens it and wants to go down on one knee you stop him.

"Do you still remember the words you told me when you asked me the first time?"

"Of course." he says.

Then he goes down on one knee and repeats the words from the first time he asked you and when he is done you smile.

"Yes, I will."

Tom beams from ear to ear when he slides the ring around your finger again and he places a kiss on it before he stands up and kisses you.

"I love you." he says.

"I love you too."

Then you walk to the hallway again and he helps you to pull it on and then he pulls on his coat. On the way to the theater you notice that your getting nervous and Tom grabs your hand in his to give it a kiss.

"You'll be fine." he says.

"Just don't leave me."

"I won't, I promise."

Tom parks the car out of sight and he helps you out of the car to walk you to the beginning of the red carpet. You couldn't have timed your arrival better, the entire cast is there and as you walk by behind them you are shielded almost entirely to the media. Halfway you suddenly see Ben and Sophie standing and they wave hello to you so that the journalists and photographers are also alerted to your presence and soon they start calling his name. Tom does not respond, and when you give a tug on his hand he looks at you.

"You can talk with them, we are almost inside."

"No, I promised to stay with you and I will, darling." he says.

Not much later you are indoors and Tom takes you to the bar where you order a drink but what you had not taken into account is that there are also some journalists inside and soon you are surrounded by a handful of them that ask Tom all kinds of questions. The flashlights from their cameras almost blind you so you raise your hands to block them while Tom does his best to shield you from their microphones and curious questions and just when you feel you are almost hyperventilating Sophie squeezes herself between you and the journalists and goes standing in front of you. You feel someone taking your hand and while Tom and Sophie distract the journalists you are pulled away from the group, when you have some room again you see that Ben is the one who pulled you away. Without saying a word he continues to walk and he takes you backstage where it is buzzing with all kinds of actors and actresses who are preparing for the premiere. Ben takes you to a small kitchenette and you take a deep breath as he pours you a glass of water and you drink it empty in one go. When you put it down you look at him and suddenly you have to laugh and Ben laughs too.

"You okay?"

"Yes, fine, thank you."

"I'm sorry, I should have said that there would be journalists inside."

"That's okay."

Then he comes forward and gives you a hug.

"It's good to see you again," he lets you go and looks at you, "you look lovely."

"Thank you." you say.

When you hear someone say your name you look up and see Tom walking towards you with Sophie behind him, before you can say anything he takes you in his arms.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?" he asks and looks at you.

"Yes, fine, thanks to Ben."

Tom turns to Ben and gives him a hug and thanks him for taking you away. Then your eyes meet Sophie's and she looks at you still apologetically.

"Are you really okay?"

"Yes, really, thank you too, for distracting the journalists while Ben could take me away."

"You're welcome."

"Sorry to interrupt, but, Sophie, you're needed." someone says suddenly.

"Of course I'll be there in a minute, listen during the play I will not have much time but please join Ben and me for dinner afterwards."

"Yeah, sure, it will be an honor to dine with the most famous opera and theater director of the British Broadway." Tom says humbled, making Ben and you chuckle.

"Shut up, you." Sophie laughs.

She gives him a playful little push to then walk away and Tom turns back to you.

"Are you really okay, darling?" he asks again.

"Yeah I'm fine, really."

He lays his arm around you and kisses your forehead and then looks at Ben who looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" you both ask.

"Nothing, just, you guys look so happy. I can be mistaken but I think something happend yesterday."

"Oh yeah?" Tom asks gleefully, "well, not yesterday but today, several times."

You feel yourself blush and you half hide behind Tom and it is enough for Ben to know what that means.

"Oh my god, you guys are back together? Officially?"

"Yes we are." you say and hold up your hand so he can see the ring.

"And your getting married! That's great, I'm so happy for you! I knew it would be all right, it just had to."

He comes forward and gives you both a hug before Tom leans in towards Ben.

"You'll be my best man, right?" he asks.

"What? You mean that?" he asks, genuily suprised.

"Of course, your my best and closest friend."

"Well, yes but, isn't there anyone in your family you should ask?"

"Sure I could ask Dean and Yukov and I love them I really do but I want you up there with me, I could really use your support on the most important day of my life."

"What about Chris? You and him are close too."

"We are but I need someone to help me arrange things for the wedding and seeing Chris lives in Australia."

"So you asked me because I live in London?" Ben asks.

"Look, you want to be my best man or not?"

"Of course, I'm just messing with you, God, I would be honored, Tom, really, thank you." he says.

He gives Tom a quick hug before he takes you backstage to a place where you can easily see the stage. During the show you have no time to talk to Sophie, she's too busy with her actors and actresses, the props and costumes. You are impressed with her professionalism and yet she sometimes makes time to laugh with one of the players. When you Tom and Ben settle on your spot Tom's arms go around your waist and stay there during the whole performance, and sometimes you feel how he kisses your neck making you smile. After the performance is over you go to Sophie's office and she walks in after about half an hour.

"Darling, it was great." Ben says immediately.

He walks up to her to embrace and to kiss her and then she looks at you.

"What did you think?"

"Very impressive, you've done well." Tom says.

She smiles and looks at you.

"And what did you think, y/n?"

"I agree with Ben and Tom, very impressive."

"Thank you. We're going to eat something with the cast somewhere in town, I rented a restaurant, no media." she says immediately.

You smile and are happy for that, you know that it is part of Tom's life and your fine with that, but for the time being you are happy to stay a little to the sidelines.

"Ben and I will still be here for a while to talk to the press but this is the address," she says and writes it on a note to give it to Tom, "you go on ahead. Go left outside this door and then right, then you come to the exit."

"Thank you." you say.

You say goodbye and walk to the exit, and when you turn the corner you already see the metal door and you walk towards it but Tom suddenly turns you around and slowly pushes you against the wall and he kisses you deeply, your arms go around his neck and his around your waist while you feel his hand on your hip slide down and he raises your leg to hoist it over his hip. When it goes up again it slips under your dress and remains on your thigh.

"God, I'm so sorry but I just had to kiss you, darling."

"You don't hear me complaining." you say.

You draw him towards you to kiss him again and Tom lets himself being pulled into the second kiss with a smile.


	49. chapter 47

When you arrive at the restaurant and after the employee has brought you to a separate room you see there are several tables with food and drinks prepared and you get something to drink and you sit at a table by the window overlooking the parking lot.

"So, when do you want to get married?" Tom asks.

"When are you coming back from Toronto?"

Tom laughs and picks up your hand.

"No kidding, but I don't want to wait untill after the baby is born, I want to marry you as soon as possible."

"I'm probably back late May early June, is a week enough to arrange a suit?"

"I don't know, let's make it two weeks, just to be sure" you say.

"No, lets not, lets do it the weekend after I return, I want to be married to you as fast as possible and besides, filming for High Rise begins July first, so if we, say, get married in early Juni we can go on honeymoon for three whole weeks."

"Honeymoon?"

"Yes, it's what a man and a woman do after they got married, just think about it; you, me, a hotelroom somewhere and the most important thing, a king sized bed."

"Can't we just skip the wedding and go straight for the honeymoon?" you ask.

Tom laughs and reaches across the table to take your hand in his.

"No way, you are not going to rob me of the chance to see you in a wedding dress, darling. You will steal the show, everyone will look at that beautiful woman as she walks down the aisle to marry me. And they will be so jealous."

"June 6." you suddenly say.

"June 6?"

"Yes, 6/6/'14, that is a beautiful date."

"Okay, then June 6 it will be, darling."

"The invitations for the wedding should be sent as soon as possible, six weeks is not much and June 6 is in the middle of the vacation."

"That's true, well, we'll keep it small so we have my family, apart from Dad, Mom, Emma and Sarah with their family maybe some aunts and uncles, nieces and nephews, grandfathers and grandmothers, in total I think about 20 people. then you have Chris and Elsa, Ken and Lindsey, Ben and Sophie and of course my fellow Avengers.... "

"Your fellow Avengers? I hate to break it to you but Loki wasn't an Avenger."

"I know but still, we where one big family."

Tom mentions some other names and finally you end up with approximately 50 guests. You roll your eyes and wonder how in God's name you are going to get of all those addresses but Tom says that his mom or Emma can help with the family and he has a book somewhere with the names of his friends and that Ben and Sophie can help you with a lot of them. He takes a piece of paper and writes down the names of the family members and on another he writes down the names of his friends and on a third one he writes down names of other famous people you can take to Sophie and Ben.

"And Lucas?" you ask and look at him.

"You want to have Lucas there also?" Tom says a little surprised.

"Yes, he made sure that I was safe when you were not there, he helped me a lot in Toronto, I want him there."

"You've grown quite fond of him." Tom states.

"Yes, I see him as a friend."

"Then he's my friend too." Tom says, smiling and adds his name on the list of friends.

"Thank you."

"And you promised that I could learn you how to dance so we can open the dancing and I am looking forward to that."

"As long as it is only a slow dance so you can hold me tight."

"No, sorry that's not going to work, darling, I want to twirl you around on the dance floor."

"Twirl me around?" you laugh.

"Yes, I know we're never going to go to a club to dance together and I think that's really a shame but there is nothing I can do about that so at least give me a chance once to really dance with you."

"Okay, for the most important day in my life, I'll make an exception."

You talk some more before the cast arrives and apparently they are hungry because they instantly walk to the food. You and Tom watch them laying their plate full of food and when you see Ben and Sophie you stand to join them and also to get some food. When you sit you first take a few bites before Sophie looks at you.

"So, Ben told me that you're getting married."

"Yeah, I felt I was ready so I asked him to ask me again." you say.

Sophie frowns and looks at Tom briefly before she looks at you again and then you realize that she and Ben have no idea what has happened in Toronto. Tom takes your hand and tells them what happened and that he has asked you in marriage there but because you couldn't remember anything after the accident and could not justify wearing his ring you decided to put it on hold.

"God, that's terrible," Ben says, "I hope they catch her soon."

"Yes, we do too, but we have been putting our lives on hold long enough so we will get married on June 6, keep that date free because I will need you to pick out a suit."

"Will do, you already know where?"

"I told her about the Isle of White, an island south of England."

"Seriously?" Sophie asks.

"Yes, it seems to me like a beautiful location with everything we need, a church and a manor, difficult to reach for the media and fans."

"You know, the manor on that Isle was once owned by the Nicholson family until they sold it to the National Trust. Sophie is descendant of them."

"Really?" you ask.

"Yes,"Sophie says,"but I haven't been there in ages but I love the idea that you are getting married there."

"Is there not a link with Joey?"

"From War Horse? Yes, he was born there and eventually died there too." Tom replied.

"See it's perfect," you say,"and I would like it if you would be my made of honor."

Sophie looks at you surprised with wide eyes not knowing what to say.

"I know it's unexpected but Tom told me that even though we have not seen much of each other, we got on very well together, and Ben is one of his best and dearest friends so this seems to me like a great opportunity to get to know you better."you explain.

"I ..... I don't know what to say."

"Say yes, please."

"Yes, of course, it would be an honor." she says happily.

"Thank you."

Tom and Ben share a smile together before you proceed with the food and when it's time to say goodbye Ben and Sophie promis Tom to keep an eye on you while he is in Toronto. When you get home, you both sit down on the couch, you curled up against Tom's side and his arm around your shoulders while the other lays on his abdomen and you start playing with his fingers.

"Do you know how many bridesmaids you want?"

"Well, next to Sophie, Emma is the only one I know well enough."

"Do you think she would mind walking down the aisle with Chris? I mean, I like Dean, I really do and he is family but Chris is, you know...."

"I know and you should ask who ever you want."

"Yeah, I know."

"Speaking about walking down the aisle, someone has to walk me, did I ever mention a father to you?"

"Well, you didn't really talked about your family with me, the only thing I know is that your father left your mother when you were very little and that your mother died in a car accident some years before we met."

"So I won't have any family around me then on the most important day of my life."

"You have my family and you know they have always seen you as part of it."

"Yeah, I know, could I get along well with your father?"

"Yes, lately, he flew to Toronto after us to get to know your better and to build a relationship with me."

"You didn't have a relationship with your father?"

"No, not really, he and Mom got divorced when I was at boarding school and when I came back, well, we've never really discussed it. You have spent much time with him in Toronto."

"Do you think he would want to walk me down the aisle, to give me away?"

"I think he would love that." he says.

"Good." you say.

You place your hand on his chest and lean forward to kiss him and when you bite his lower lip his breath hitches in his throat. Your hand slowly moves down and you caresses his nipple through the fabric of his shirt. The arm around your shoulder pulls you closer to him and you let your hand glide further down to cup him through his pants and he pushes his hips backwards, a little taken by surprise by your forwardness. You give him a kiss before you slip to the ground and sit in between his legs.

"What you are doing?" he asks.

Instead of saying something you just look up at him through your eyelashes.

"You don't have to ..."

"I want to."

You sit up on your knees and open his shirt to push it aside and your hands slide over his chest followed by your lips that keep kissing him while your fingers make quick work of his jeans and he moves up slightly so you can push it from his narrow hips. You pull the jeans from him and toss it aside and your kisses go further down. You nose his erection through the fabric of his boxer, tracing the outline of it down and back up again. Slowly you curl your fingers in the band and remove them before you take his shaft in hand and gentle begin to stroke it while kissing his abdomen, you feel Tom shifting position so that he is on the edge of the couch. You let your tongue slowly glide over the top and through the slit and Tom moans above you. His hand goes into your hair and you feel him shiver beneath you as you completely swallow him and your tongue goes over the vein at the underside.

"Oh, fucking hell ..." it sounds above you.

You smile around him and let your head slowly slide up and down on his cock, alternately licking with your tongue and sucking on the tip, your other hand starts to massage his balls and gently you pull his foreskin away to slowly let your tongue move over his sensitive spot making him buck wildly under you and you dare a glimpse up and meet eyes full of desire who look at you. Your fingers leave his balls and wander further back to caress his perineum and his response is incredible, his head falls back, his hips bucking up a strangled groan escapes his lips and the grip on your hair becomes stronger.

"I'm going to cum." he says.

You double your movements and soon he sprays long rays of seed in your mouth that you immediately swallow. When he is empty, he falls back and you put your chin on his thigh while your eyes look up along his beautiful body and you see his chest go up and down violently through his breathing.

"Come up here." he said hoarsely.

You sit on the couch next to him to crawl against him, weaving his fingers through your hair and he kisses your forehead.

"How did you know that I liked that?" he asks, voice sounding hoarse.

"I just did what in rememberd." you say and look at him.

"Wait, what?" he says and sits up.

You smile and bite your lip.

"I can remember things about you."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Like what?"

"Quite a lot actually, the night you stood in front of my door, not what is said but what happened and that I moved in with you in London. The play where you were in. Even what your home looked like, how beautiful it was. Why did we leave it?"

"You don't remember?"

"No, the next thing I remember is that we were going to live with Emma and Dean but I don't know why."

"Because Lisa managed to get in our house when we were at Morgan, she destroyed the whole house."

"Really?"

"Yeah, maybe you can not remember the reason, because it is a bad memory," Tom sits up straighter and looks at you, "do you remember anything Lisa has done?"

You think and come to the conclusion that you can remember nothing what did Lisa.

"You must have supplanted it, locked it out because it was a terrible memory."

"That might very well be the case." you say.

"What else do you know?"

"Like I said, pretty much everything except Lisa, I know you've taken me to the Tower Bridge and we have been at Morgan and that Jason adores you."

"It's a great kid."

"I also remember we flew to Toronto and had an apartment there, I also remember the time I spend woth your dad and how nice he was to me. That on the days I felt goog we went out and when I had pains we stayed inside and he would entertain me with stories about when you were young. And I remember throwing up in the middle of the night and the cramps I had and that you sat next to me while I was hunched over the toilet and that you took me back to bed after to hold me and to talk to me the whole night in spite of the fact that you had to be early on set the next day. That was very sweet of you, to do that."

"Of course I did that, I hated to see you in pain and would've taken it away if I could."

"And I remember Lucas suddenly showing up."

"Because he could no longer find Lisa Lucas requested the passenger lists to Toronto and her name popped up on one of them and someone had recognized her. You are a British citizen and since you trust Lucas and you feel safe with him they sent him."

"Has she tried something?"

"I had rented a Jaguar for you so that you could move yourself, when you and Lucas were riding it the brakes refused and Lucas ran off the road and was no able to dodge a tree, he took off his belt so he could protect you and the baby but he bruised his ribs. "

"That was very selfless of him."

"Yes, I also thanked him extended."

"We also had a fight." you say softly.

"Yes we did, I woke up in the middle of the night one time and you were gone, I could not find you anywhere in the apartment and I started to panic. You suddenly craved ice cream so you sneaked out the apartment to go to the supermarket on the corner to go to buy ice cream and when you walked in and I saw you ..... I overreacted, I grabbed you and raised my voice...I never should have done that, but when I could not find you ... I was so worried, if something should happen to you, if I were to lose, I would lose my mind, y / n. Your my world and I just can't see my life without you in it."

"I also remember that we made up." you say.

"Hm, yes, that's the only good about arguing with you, making amends." Tom says.

"I know and I remember something about a trophy?"

"Oh, yeah ..... I uh, was named Man of the Year by Elle Magazine UK at the beginning of the year and because we were in Toronto they had a crew to come to us to give me the award and I recorded a video message to the ones who voted for me to thank them. Now that we are talking about it, one of the journalists found the ultrasound of the baby but they promised not to say anything on the condition that when we are ready, we would give them the scoop."

"You want to announce the pregnancy?"

"You're four months, it probably will not be long before you are showing, but if your not ready...."

"No, that's okay," you say, and suddenly have to laugh, "oh you fans will get the shock of their lives when we announce our marriage at the same time."

"I think so too, but maybe it's better, then they at least know and won't speculate, as some did after the pictures of you and Lucas."

"Okay, I think it's fine."

"Their names were Megan and Alyssa, they work here in London. Perhaps you could call this week to make an appointment for when I'm back."

"Okay," you say and look at him,"the baby comes in mid October, you have to film then?"

"Ow, that's a good question, let me think, shooting for High Rise begins in July until September and I believe we start in October with shooting I saw the light." he says.

"Could you not push it backwards?" you ask.

"Hmm, I don't decide that." he says.

"I need your support when I have excruciating pain during childbirth from your child."

"And I want to be there, believe me, I will hold your hand through it, I promis." he says.

"You better be ready on demand then," you say,"and better don't unpack either."

"Yes, absolutely." he says.

"I can also remember how much we loved each other, how strong our love was. I was a little startled by it." you laugh.

"Why?"

"Because I could 'feel' how strong it was, how intense and all consuming, that took my breath away a little."

"But you do rememver?"

"Yes, I remember, I remember you."

Tom laughs and pulls you in his arms to hold you tight.

"I'm so happy, y/n." he says relieved."

When you start to yawn he looks at you.

"Tired?"

"Yes, it was a busy weekend."

"It certainly was but absolutely worth it."

Tom leans forward a bit to get his mobile so he can call Lucas to ask if he can come and then he lifts you up and walks upstairs with you. Your arms go around his neck and your head falls on his shoulder and you feel how he pressed a kiss on your temple. He walks with you into the bedroom and gently puts you down on the ground. You undress slowly and take your nightgown when Tom gives it and oddly enough you do not feel embarrassed when you are standing in your underwear in front of him. When you're wearing your nightgown you lie under the cover and Tom leans over you, hands on either side of your body. When you bite your lip he tilts his head to the side.

"What's wrong?"

"Do you think it is wise to wait three weeks? I mean, the wedding invitations go out this week to fifty people, the chance that it gets out is present. Don't your fans deserve to hear it from you, before that time?"

"Yes, maybe you're right," Tom says, frowning, "you know what? I'll rebook my flight to late morning tomorrow, so we can tell them together."

"Are you sure? Otherwise I could do it alone."

"No, I want to be there."

"Won't you be back too late in Toronto?"

"Let's see, if I leave here at ten o'clock in the morning i will arrive there at six o'clock in the evening, London time, which is one o'clock in Toronto, it will be tight but you're right, the fans deserve to hear it officially from us. I only need to be on the set in the afternoon but I will still call Guillermo to explain."

"What if they are busy with something else?"

"Trust me, when I say the word scoop they'll come." he says smiling.

He pushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear and leans toward you to kiss you and then he looks at you and at that moment the bell rings.

"That will be Lucas, I'll explain to him that the plan has changed, you want him to stay?."

"Sure, he came all this way, this late at night, if he is okay with sleeping in the guesthouse."

"I'll tell him."

Tom moves to get up but you pull him back down to kiss him and after you look at him.

"After you told Lucas about it, get your sexy ass back here."

"As quickly as I can, promis."

He gives you one last kiss before he walks away and leaves you, you turn around and look at your ring for a moment before you here Tom and Lucas talking and then the backdoor to the guesthouse.


	50. chapter 48

When you hear the soft footsteps of Tom on the carpet in the bedroom you smile and soon you feel the bed behind you dip and an arm around your waist. Tom kisses your shoulder and gathers your closer to him and you push your body even closer against his, marveling at the fact of how good your smaller frame fits against his larger one. His fingers caress your stomach and you feel how he molts his front to your back, his already half hard erection obvious against your buttocks but despite that you have already been intimate, he doesn't persue it. You understand and appreciate it and you turn your face to look at him, you lay your hand on his cheek and pull him towards you to kiss him.

"I appreciate what you're doing but it's okay, I want you too."

"I don't want to overstep my bounderies."

"Seriously? We just had amazing sex, I don't think overstepping your bounderies is something you should worry about anymore."

Tom smiles and leans forward to kiss you again and his fingers slide down and when they slip into your slip to stimulate your clit you break the kiss to let a low moan escape your lips and lay your head back. Tom moves his kisses to your neck and your fingers slip into his hair, Tom slowly slides your slip down and then you help him out of his boxer. You look at him and and you straddle him on your knees, Tom lets one hand go to your hip and the other weaves into your hair to pull you down to kiss him. The feeling of his thin lips on yours is the most delightful feeling you've ever had and you could have kissed him forever but eventually you break the kiss to breathe. Then you lean back to pull off your shirt and when you drop it on the floor you see his eyes sliding appreciatively over your body but this time you feel more confident and you smile. You put your hands on his chest and lean forward so that your breasts are pressed together and he licks his lips.

"Like what you see?" you ask.

"You know very well I do." he says.

Suddenly he sits up, one arm wrapping around your waist and the hand of the other cups your breast while his lips attach themselves to your other breast. Your fingers go into his hair and you look at how he licks and sucks your nipple. The view alone is so erotic and you slide your hips over his shaft trying to get his attention and he understands it immediately, his hands go to your hips and he lifts you slightly to get your slit above his erection. His fingers glide through your folds and he also gives your clit some attention to make sure you are relaxed enough and when you allow yourself to sink down and the head breaches you, you moan and lay your head in your neck.

"Every time I take you it seems to feel even better." Tom moans.

He slowly thrusts upwards into you and with every thrust he pushes against your bundle of nerves, your hormones are raging through your body and eventually you take control by pushing him on his back and you place your hands on his chest, you're making rapid circular movements with your hips while simultaneously Tom thrusts up inside you. Vaguely you feel his hands slide up over your legs and they end up around your hips, he grabs them so that he has control for a moment and after a few hard thrusts deep up into you, your muscles tighten around him and when you circle your hips one last time and you feel his finger at your clit you tumble over the edge taking him along. You fall forward and Tom's arms encircle you immediately to hold you close to him and you bury your face in the crook of his neck. For a moment you remain as you are and eventually you slide off him and lay close to him before you fall asleep.

The next morning you wake up to soft kisses in your neck and you instinctively wriggle away but soon an arm moves around your waist that presses you against a solid chest followed by two lips that kiss you passionately. Your arms automatically move around his neck and you happily kiss him back, after the kiss, you open your eyes and look at him.

"I can get used to be kissed awake like that," you say, but then you notice that Tom is already dressed,"why are you already dressed?"

"Because Megan and Alyssa will be here in an hour." he says and kisses your neck again.

You moan and come up slowly, you yawn and let your face fall on Tom's shoulder.

"What time is it?"

"Almost eight o'clock," Tom says, and he kisses your neck, "and they want to do a photo shoot."

"What? Why?"

"Because they want to show how happy we are with each other."

"But then I do not have enough time, I need to figure out my clothes and make myself beautiful ...."

"Nonsense, you are beautiful like this too."

You give him a nudge against his shoulder and he laughs.

"Go take a shower then I'll make you breakfast."

He gives you another kiss and leaves you so you can take a shower, you fall back against the matrass and sigh deeply, what you wouldn't give to just have a couple of more hours in bed, preferably in Tom's arms but eventually you get up and walk towards the bathroom. You stand before the mirrow and look at your image from the side, the last week you have grown and the bump is clearly visable now. Your fingers move over it and you smile before you turn the tabs and step under the water. When you are washing your hair, eyes closed because you don't want to get soap in them, you suddenly feel two arms slipping around your waist, making you gasp.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Tom whispers in your ear.

"What happened to breakfast?"

"Is waiting for you." he says, kissing your shoulder.

"I didn't know you needed a shower too."

"I don't, I only came back up to see how you where doing and when I heard the water running, thinking about you in here, naked, wet, I couldn't resist."

Tom leans down to kiss your shoulder again and you roll your head to the side to give him more space. Tom pushes you forward until you stand against the wall with your hands and he lets his hands slide over your side, one goes up and he laces his fingers with yours while the other goes down and creeps to the inside of your hip. At the thought of what he is going to do your breathing speeds up and when he finds your clit you sigh longingly.

"Turn around."

You do what he says and you turn around to meet eyes full of lust and desire, his hair sticking to his forehead, and he sets his hands against the wall next to your head, trapping you. Then he comes forward to kiss you long and deep and when you break the kiss to breathe his kisses go down. Your neck, your shoulder, your collarbone and lastly your breasts where he takes his time with, kissing one and kneading the other and repeating the process with the other. You put your head against the tiles and close your eyes, his lips go down and his hands caress your side to let them settle on your hips. When you suddenly feel his breath on your abdomen you open your eyes and look down. Tom is sitting on his knees and his fingers caress your bump before giving a kiss on it.

"I knew you would be fucking gorgeous showing like this, and knowing that it's my child that grows inside you makes me so damn proud."

Your hands slide in his wet hair and he looks at you. Tom smiles and slowly he comes up to push you against the wall while he lifts up one of your legs and lays it around his hip. With the other hand he aligns his erection against your slit and as you look at each other, he slowly pushes it all the way inside you. One moment he remains like that before he pulls back and his erection almost completely slips out of you and then his hips slowly roll forward again untill he completely fills you. Your head falls backwards when he repeats the movement and you smile.

"You like that?" he asks.

"Yes, please ..."

"Please what?"

"Take me .... slowly, I want to feel you...every glorious inch of you ..."

He hooks his fingers in you knee and pushes your leg aside so he can go deeper in the next rocking motion and you moan, digging your nails into his shoulders. The movements remain slow and when you tilt your hips your knees begin to wobble and Tom let his arm snake around your waist to keep you upright.

"I've got you, darling." he whispers.

"I know."

"It feels so wonderful to be inside you, so good, so astonishingly how perfectly it feels. I swear, it has never felt as good as with you. Touch yourself for me, darling."

You let one hand wander down, sharply watched by Tom's eyes and you quickly find your clit and when you start to play with it he moans in his throat.

"So fucking hot to watch."

When you breathing hitches he looks at you and sees you are close, the rocking movements go slightly faster but still slower than usual. Nevertheless you feel you orgasm coming and you push on your clit, you feel your body freeze before it starts to shake and when Tom suddenly thrust hard and deep inside you you fall over the edge. Tom follows you soon and he lays his head on your shoulder while you catch your breath. Finally, he looks at you.

"You okay?"

"Yes, fine, but maybe you can let go of my leg?"

"You think you can stand?"

"I can try."

Tom laughs and lets go of your leg, you put it on the ground and when he lets go of you you stay against the wall for a moment before you take a step forward and Tom immediately stretches his arms to catch you if necessary and you look at him frowning.

"What? You're four months pregnant and it's slippery here, I don't want you to fall."

You laugh and sheake your head and after you have dried yourselfs off and put your clothes back on you walk downstairs. Tom sits down with you to keep you company and when the bell rings Lucas shouts that he will open the door and after you're done eating, you and Tom walk into the room. Two men put the cameras ready and the women are sitting on the couch while Lucas keeps himself aside by the window. The women stand up and one of them walks toward you, she smiles at you and she does look familiar.

"Hi," she says, and gives you a hand, "how is it going?"

"Allright. Megan, wasn't it?"

"Yes, that's right, and that is Alyssa, and Tony and Matt are setting the cameras for later."

"Okay."

You walk to the couch and while you sit down you look at Lucas who is to your surprise almost staring at Megan and you look at her only to be met with curious eyes looking back at you.

"So, you want to announce the pregnancy."

"Yes, that's right, and there's something else we want to tell." Tom begins.

"Oh, what then?" Megan asks.

She looks curiously from Tom to you and back at Tom again who also exchanges a look with you and he nods. You hold your hand up so they see the ring and Megan's eyes widen.

"Oh, God, you're getting married?"

"Yes."

"That's great! Congratulations! What a beautiful ring, it might be a strange question but it is very simple, is there a reason behind it?"

You tell the story behind the ring and Megan and Alyssa find it a lovely gesture, then you say that Tom must first return to Toronto to continue filming for three weeks and when he comes back you want to get married as soon as possible.

"Do you have a date?"

"June 6." Tom says.

"That is indeed very fast."

"We want to be married before the baby comes." you explaine.

"Have you already found a location?"

"The Isle of White, on the south coast of England."

"I know it, I have been there once," Alyssa says, "it is very beautiful and the people are very friendly, excellent choice."

"Thank you. We do not know anything else really."

"Now back to the pregnancy, how far are you now?"

"16 weeks."

"And how has it been going?"

"Well, I've had a lot of cramps in the beginning and I also had to vomit several times, that was when we were together in Toronto where Tom was for his latest film and I'm glad he was with me, he was very sweet to me."

You look at him and he smiles lovingly at you.

"And now?"

"No that's luckily over."

"Good to hear. Shall we take the pictures? Seeing you have to catch a flight in like, an hour and a half."

You nod and walk to where Tony and Matt are standing and the men take over and when you move to the window Lucas walks away and he says something to the women you do not understand. First Matt asks if Tom wants to go down on one knee and to take your hand with the ring to recreate the marriage proposal. When your standing good you see in your peripheral vision that Lucas has two glasses of soda with him and sets one on the table but gives the other to Megan with a smile you and frown your eyebrows when Lucas steps back but Megan gets up to follow him and they start talking. Then Tom captures your attention when he kisses your hand and you look at him at the time that the photo gets taken. You are put in a number of poses, some funny other romantic like the one where Tom is standing behind you, arms around your waist and resting on your stomach while you look into the lens and his face is turned towards you, and whenever you can your eyes wander to Lucas and Megan who talk with each other the entire time and sometimes you can hear them laughing. They seem to only have eyes for each other and one moment Lucas leans forward to whisper something in her ear and Megan responds with a shy smile as she touches his arm. After the men have taken pictures for about a half hour they tell you that they want to take some pictures of you outside too. You both nod and Tony and Matt say they need about ten minutes for that.

"Tom?"

"Hmm?"

"Look at Lucas and Megan."

Tom looks up and sees them, Lucas has put his hand against the wall, his body turned to Megan.

"They seem to get on well together."

"They like each other." you say.

"How do you know? They just met."

"I just know, the way Megan touches his arm and smiles at him, and how Lucas has his body turned to her, he put Alyssa's glass down but gave Megan her glass."

"And that means he likes her?"

"It's the way he handles her, the way he listens to her, and how she twirls her hair around her finger when he talks. I'm telling you, he likes her. When you are all gone I'm going to thoroughly interrogate him."

"Poor Lucas."

You give him a playful nudge against his shoulder and he laughs, pulling you towards him to kiss you and all too soon Matt comes towards you, saying that they are ready for you. You notice Alyssa follows you but Lucas and Megan stay where they are and you smile, wondering if something is going on. They don't take a lot of pictures oitside, it's still reletivly cold outside and after about fifteen minutes you walk back inside and you notice Lucas and Megan are now sitting on the couch, close together but they look up when you enter.

"I have to go." Tom says.

He says goodbey to everyone and you walk him to the door where he turns and takes you in his arms before he kisses you.

"Skype you tonight, okay?"

"Okay."

You share one last kiss before he turns and walks away, you remain watching until he is out of sight and then you walk back inside, under the arch you stay still for a moment, Matt, Tony, Megan and Alyssa are talking to each other and Lucas is watching from a distance and you notice that his eyes always return to Megan. Slowly you walk up to him and when you are near you hear Megan suddenly say your name and you look up.

"Well, thank you so much that you thought of us to make it known, that means a lot to us."

"Of course, you have after all kept your word by not telling about my pregnancy. I would appreciate it that when the photos are ready you first show them to me."

"Yes, of course, speaking for granted, the magazine is pressed Thursday so Wednesday morning sound okay?"

"Yes, fine, half past eight?"

"I put it on the agenda until then." she smiles.

Before she walks back to Matt and Tony her eyes fleeting wander to Lucas then she turns around and packs her things, you wait until they have closed the door behind them before you look at Lucas and when he sees you watching he frowns his eyebrows.

"What?" he asks.

"You and Megan seem to get along well with each other." you say.

"Oh yeah, she seems nice." he says shrugging his shoulders as he picks up the glasses and goes to the kitchen with them.

"Seems nice? Come on, Lucas, I'm not blind. I've seen how you look at her how you react to her."

"What are you talking about?" he asks and puts the glasses on the counter.

"You know, for someone for whom it was more than obvious that Tom and I belong together this strikes me still a little disappointing." you say.

Lucas sighs and leaning with his hips against the counter as he looks at you.

"Yes but ..... you know I don't believe in love at first sight despite what I saw happening between you and Tom......I don't know, it's a beautiful woman and I think she likes me too."

"Oh, Lucas, she likes you just as much."

"Do you think?"

"Yes I'm sure, men are hard to read but women are an open book, especially for other women. The way she touched you, how she twisted a lock of hair around her finger, completely obvious."

Lucas smiles bashful and looks away and you walk up to him to stand beside him.

"You deserve it, a nice woman to share your life with, someone to make you forget about me." you say, and he looks at you.

"That will be a challenge for her." he says.

"Oh nonsense, you'll see it when you take her out on a date, you will forget me so fast."

"A date? I hardly know her."

"You like her, right? And you think she is beautiful and she is just as into you. A date is the next logical step." you shrug.

"What if she says no?" it sounds uncertain.

"She won't," you say, and hook your arm in his, "how about a little trip?"

"A trip? Where to?"

"A certain island off the south coast of England."

"You want to go look now?"

"Yes, I've become very curious after the stories of Tom, Sophie and Ben and it's still early, so what do you say?"

"Okay, come on."

During the ride Lucas asks how it was yesterday, and when you tell him that you and Tom were cornered inside by journalists he looks at you sympathetically but when you tell him that Sophie placed herself between them and distracted the journalists together with Tom so Ben you could take you backstage, he smiles.

"Sophie is family of the people who owned the estate on the island until they sold it to the National Trust. It has everything to celebrate the wedding there;. A hotel for the guests, a dining room for the dinner and reception and a party room for the party after the wedding."

"It'll be a fantastic day and you will look stunning as a bride, I want to see pictures." he says.

"You are also invited." you say, and then look at him.

"I am?"

"Yes of course, you're my friend and I have already talked with Tom about it and he thinks it's fine, oh and you should ask Megan as your date." you say enthusiastically.

Lucas laughs and looks at you before he looks at the highway again.

"Okay, I'll do that."

When Lucas has parked the car he buys a ticket and you wait in the car until Lucas can drive it aboard the ferry. During the two hour journey, you look at the map and see that Mottistone lies in the east-west of the island next to the water. As good as you can you direct Lucas to the right place and when he parks the car near the property you see that it is a popular destination for tourists. Once out of the car you hook your arm through Lucas' while you walk to the estate and slightly to your right you see the church at the end of a huge garden.

"This place is beautiful." you say, extremely impressed with everything.

"I'll say."

You and Lucas walk around the grounds and you become more confident by the minute that you want to get married here and apparently Lucas sees it.

"You know, if you want to get married here, it may be advisable to book it already, juni 6 is only four weeks."

"Without discussing it with Tom?"

"He wouldn't mind, he suggested the place right?"

"Yes, he did." You say and look around if you see an employee.

"Come, let's go look inside the church." Lucas suggests.

You nod and together you walk into the church, which is just as impressive inside as it is outside and it only strengthens the desire to get married here. When Lucas nudges your shoulder you look at him.

"Judging by his clothes, he is a priest." he says.

You look and it's at least someone who works here, you take your arm out of Lucas' and walk up to him and when you stand near him you scrape your throat, and he looks up.

"Good morning, can I help you?"

"I, uh ...." you look around and see that Lucas is wandering down the church, giving you your space,"I wanted to know if it is possible to get married here?"

"Yes that is possible, it concerns you?"

"Yeah, me and my fiance, it's June 6, I know that's only four weeks but I really fell in love with this place, it is very beautiful."

"Thank you and yes it is, I've been working here for more then thirty years and I still feel honored every day that I can work here, why don't we walk into my office, I will put it into the agenda."

While the priest walks away you look at Lucas, but he indicates that he will wait in the church for you and you follow the priest to his office. You sit down and he picks up a book.

"What are your full names?"

"Mine y/n l/n and my fiance is called Thomas William Hiddleston." you say, and you look at the priest but the name seems not to say anything to him and you sigh a breath of relief.

"And it was on June 6, and the time?"

"Oh no idea, actually, I just wanted to come and look but I am so impressed that I want to book it immediately."

"I then shall keep free the whole day for you, then you can later pass on what time exactly." he suggests.

"That would be fine, thank you," you say, "I wanted to rent the mansion next door for the reception, dinner and party."

"That sounds like an excellent idea, you can book with David Rosco. That's the owner."

You thank the man for his time and he gives you a card with information on it and you promise to call him soon to arrange a time. When you walk into the church again, you see that Lucas is sitting down on a bench and when he sees you walking towards him he stands up.

"Well?"

"It's booked, I just need to call to arrange a time."

"Good."

You walk out of the church and go to the mansion where you find David quickly, he is a young man and very friendly and he makes an appointment in his agenda to ensure that it is free. He also indicates that in Mottistone there is a B&B called Brook House with about twenty cottages in a village to rent for your guests. That is not enough, but he tells you that at 7.9 km from Mottistone the Albion Hotel is, where you can also accommodate your guests. David gives you a leaflet from the hotel and the parks in Mottistone and you thank him kindly for his time.


	51. chapter 49

The next day you decide to invite Diana, Emma and Dean for dinner. Emma hesitates, it is after all a weeknight and Jason has school the next morning but fortunately you were able to persuade her without telling you have a date for the wedding, that had to be a surprise for them and the neighbour wanted to watch the kids. The reason you decide to do that is because you want to start to arrange the wedding as soon as possible, you have after all only four weeks and since Emma is already married you count on her help, the reason you invited Diana is that you do not want to bring Emma in the position that she has secrets for her. You also want James to be there because you need to ask him an important question, but since your accident you've had no contact with him and you're very nervous. Lucas, however, reminds you of your conversation with Diana and how nervous you were before that and you know how well you and James got along with each other in Toronto so you decide to just call him and fortunately he wants to come. You do let him know that Diana, Emma and Dean will be there too but for him that is no problem.

Then you and Lucas go grocery shopping, you keep it simple, or rather Lucas keeps it simple, spaghetti and meat sauce. At the end of the afternoon you are looking around some sites on the web to see if you can get some ideas for your wedding dress, the invitations but you become dizzy instantly with all the choices and you close the page. You really need Emma's help. When you are looking through the news sites you suddenly stop when you see the name of Tom and the word "engaged"? You sit up straight and click on the link, you see photos of you and Tom on the red carpet at the premiere of Sophie's play and it is clear to see that you are holding hands, a little further are the photos of the moment you and Tom were ambushed by the photographer inside and on one of the photos you keep your hand up to shield your eyes from the flashes and the ring is visible, You also see a picture of you and Tom in Toronto in front of the restaurant and the have enlarged the same hand but without the ring.

"Unbelievable." you sigh.

"What is?" you hear Lucas ask and he goes hanging over the back of the couch to look over your shoulder at the screen.

"Look here, a picture of the theater, we were surprised by photographers and I raised my arm against the bright flash," now you point to the ring, "they say that's an engagement ring."

"It is an engangement ring." Lucas says, not understanding.

"Yes, but that's not the point, the point is that they see a ring on my finger and immediately assume that we are engaged, it is just like with us, from a couple of pictures alone his fans assumed that I had an affair with you, got pregnant and left Tom for you. They can at least keep it in the middle or contact us instead of assuming things, true or not."

"Are you afraid of his fan's reactions?"

"I don't even want to know," you say firmly, "I still haven't quite recoverd from the responses on our pictures, I'm really not going through that again."

"Wise."

"What do I say when people we know call to ask? Should I acknowledge it?"

"You can't deny it, y/n, that is lying."

"I know." you sigh.

"Shall we sit on the porch? The weather is nice and we have more space."

"Okay."

"Set the table then."

When you're done with the table you hear the bell and when you're halfway the room, you see that Lucas opens the door to let in Emma Dean and Diana and when Diana looks at you, you raise you hand. Diana's eyes become wide and she walks towards you.

"Oh God," she says and grabs your hand, "he asked you again?"

"Yes, he asked me again. At my request."

"Oh that is great, I'm so happy for you."

Diana gives you a hug and Emma and Dean do the same, Lucas then asks what you want to drink and suggests that you already go outside to sit down at the table while he is gooing to get the drinks. You step out and take place behind the table, Diana sits down next to you and Emma and Dean opposite you.

"What happened to 'we can not pick up where we left off'? "Diana asks.

"I was wrong, we have only been together for two days, but those days made one thing very clear and that is that Tom and I belong together, he is the love of my life I can not imagine life without him. The feeling he gives me when he looks at me, touches me or listens to me and talks to me, even when he is just sitting next to me doing nothing.....when I'm with him it just feels so good, so familiar, so right."

"I knew it." Diana beams.

"Do you have a date yet?" Emma asks.

"Um, yeah, june 6."

"Well, that is fast."

"Yes I know, but Tom and I just do not want to wait, we have already wasted so much time in the past, he is still filming in Toronto for three weeks, he comes back in late May and the weekend after that we want to get married. And therefore, you are here, Emma, "you say and look at her," will you be my bridesmaid?"

Emma laughs and lays her hands over her mouth before she nods and grabs your hands.

"Yes of course!"

"I really need your help to arrange everything, there is so much to do in so little time."

"Do not worry, I'll help you with everything, I still have a list of my wedding somewhere, we will just use that one."

"That is great."

"Look who I found." you suddenly hear and you look up to see James standing behind Lucas, who is carrying the drinks.

"Dad!" Emma says.

She gets up to give him a hug, then he gives Diana and Dean a hand and then he looks at you.

"Y/N", he says and takes your hand, then he sees the ring and looks at you again, "that was Diana's engagement ring, you want to tell me something?"

"Tom gave it to me, he asked me."

"That is great." he says and gives you a hug.

He sits down on the other side of you and you turn a little to look at him.

"I wanted to ask you something." you say.

"I'm listening."

"Maybe you are not aware of it but Tom told me that my father left my mother and me when I was little, so actually you are the closest thing to a father I ever knew ...."

"Oh my God ..." Emma whispers and you look at her, her hands are back before her mouth.

"What?" James asks and looks questioningly from Emma to you.

"Will you walk me down the aisle? Would you give me away?"

"Seriously?" he asks.

"Yes, someone has to do that and I would like it to be you. If you want to."

"Are you kidding? Of course I want too, it will be an honor to guide you."

You smile and breath out relieved while you let yourself be drawn in an embrace by James.

During your conversation Lucas has set the food on the table and without further ado you begin to eat. Diana wants to know everything about the wedding, but the only thing you can tell her is where it is and everyone think it's a great location. Also you ask them to keep it a secret until the magazine Elle is in the shops with the photos and the interview of you, but they have no problem with that. You tell them what you and Tom have done that weekend, the evening at Morgan and how sweet and patient he was with you and how good it felt to be so close to him. You tell them that he then took you to the Tower Bridge and that you already knew that everything would be alright, that you and Tom would come back to each other and then you look at Diana for a moment, faint smile around your lips.

"What?"

"You once told me that Tom always treated me with greater care than other women, when we arrived at the premiere of Sophie's play Sunday he was walking between me and the journalists and photographers and he held my hand the entire time. We agreed that he would stay with me untill we where inside but when the photographers called out to him I told him he could talk to them but he refused, he stayed with me because he promised me. Even when we were ambushed inside he did everything to shield me and along with Sophie, he led them off so that Ben could take me away and during the play and he kept holding me."

"That shows that he loves you very much, y/n, you are more important to him than anyone else, you and your baby. He will do everything in order to ensure that the both of you will lack nothing and that you are safe."

"I know."

Later that evening, when everyone is gone and you're in bed with your laptop before you, talking to Tom, you tell him about diner and that everyone is very happy for you.

 

The rest of the week is very chaotic, Emma fortunately was able to find her list and she uses it to make a new one for you. The main things are put on top, your wedding dress, the invitations, the wedding cake, the food and the photographer. The wedding dress is a lot more difficult then you thought it would be, there is so much to choose from that after fitting a dozen you still do not know what you want and disheartened you let yourself fall into the fautteul. Emma grabs your hand and you look at her.

"You will find the right one." she says.

"I find it so difficult, I roughly know what I want but I also want Tom to like it."

"I'm sure Tom doesn't care about how your wedding dress looks like, he will find it beautiful either way."

"I know."

Then the saleswoman comes over and she sits next to you with a sketchbook in her hand and you look up, frowning.

"This is not working, but maybe I have an idea. Close your eyes and try to imagine the perfect wedding dress."

You look at Emma for a moment who shrugs and you close your eyes but you are to focused and the saleswoman notices.

"Relax, emagine yourself that you are home alone in bed or in the bath."

You sigh deeply and feel the tension flowing out of your body, you think of the perfect wedding dress and slowly a picture forms in your head.

"Describe it to me."

You describe the wedding dress as you see it, and when you are done, you open your eyes and the saleswoman holds up the sketchbook.

"That's it!" you exclaim.

Emma and the saleswoman laugh and you grabs the sketchbook.

"It's gorgeous, y/n."

"Yes, you have it?"

"No, not precisely, but I can have it made for you, that takes about two weeks."

"Two weeks, then I have one more week left."

"I will ensure that there is a seamstress present when you come to fit it so she can change it immediately if necessary."

"Okay thanks."

The saleswoman takes your measurements and relieved you take your leave.

 

Invitations are done pretty quickly and once you have figured out the text one evening with Tom you bring it to the print shop the following morning. You also make sure that the invitations for the family and a handful of close friends get an extra card to invite them for dinner on the eve of the wedding. However, choosing the food provides stress for you, there's just too many to choose from and Tom should also have a say in it, it is also his wedding, you need to do this together but you simply do not have that luxury. Emma sees that you find it hard and she tries to help as much as possible and when you reach the end of the week you fall down exhausted on the couch and Lucas sits down next to you.

"Come here." he says.

He maneuvers you so that you sit with your back to him and he starts to massage your shoulders, you moan and lay your head in your neck and you enjoy his fingers slowly chase the knots out of your body. After about half an hour you roll your head to the side and you look at him.

"Thank you so much." you say.

"You're welcome." he replies.

"I've been thinking, and maybe I should call Megan to ask her out."

"Really?"

"Yes, I've been alone for so long and the feelings that you...... I know you're going to marry Tom, and there is no one happier for you then me but it's time that I move on with my own life. I haven't seen or spoken to Megan since that day but I can't seem to stop thinking about her."

"You should call her."

"I will, goodnight, y/n."

"Goodnight."

Lucas smiles before he walks away and you go up to boot up the laptop. You're a little early and you place the laptop next to your pillow while you lie on your side and when Tom's face fills the screen, he smiles at what he sees.

"Hey beautiful." he says.

"Hey handsome."

"Tired?"

"Yes, it was a hard long week but the important things are settled."

"Maybe you should go to sleep then."

"Sounds like a very good idea, would you want to stay here with me? Talk to me until I fall asleep?"

"Of course. What would you like to hear?"

"How much you love me and how much you miss me and you can not wait to hold me again in your strong arms and that you can not wait to marry me," you say and laugh, "but seriously, does no matter, as long as I can hear your voice."

You close your eyes and listen to Tom's soothing voice while he tells you about his week and that the shooting is going so well that he might be coming home a little earlier.

"That would be great, I need you now." you say.

"I know and I wish I could be with you, darling."

You sigh and feel yourself sinking further and further in your sleep until you finally drift away.

 

When you wake up in the middle of the night the first thing you see is a sleeping Tom on your laptop and you smile and comes slightly up, leaning your head on your hand. Tom's head and part of his chest is visable on the screen. It is now also night there and you let your eyes slide over his face. You think it's sweet that he has maintained the connection after you fell asleep and it's like he is next to you. The fingers of your other hand go to the screen where you caress his cheek and slowly you lean forward to place a kiss on his 'lips'. Suddenly you feel a shooting pain go through your body and your hand goes to your stomach, when the pain is over you hope it is just a one time thing, but suddenly you feel a lingering pain in your lower abdomen and a painful noise escapes your lips. Your eyes go to your stomach and when you hear someone saying your name you look up.

"Tom ..."

"What's wrong?"

"It hurts."

"The baby?"

"Yes."

"What do you feel?"

"As if a sharp object goes over the inside of my belly. Oh God ...." you whimper and your eyes go to your stomach again.

"Y/N, look at me."

You look up again and see that Tom has turned on the light on his bedside table and you can clearly see the panic in his eyes, but he tries to stay as calm as possible for you.

"Wake up Lucas and tell him he needs to take you to the hospital, okay?"

"Okay."

You slide to the edge of the bed and when Tom suddenly curses you look over your shoulder towards him and see that his eyes are looking at something in your bed. Your eyes go there and you see blood in the sheet.

"Oh my God." you breath.

"Y/N, wake up Lucas, now, go. I will be here when you return."

"Okay."

You nod and walk to the landing to then walk into Lucas' bedroom.

"Lucas?"

No response and you walk over to the bed and sit on it, you push against his shoulder, and he's instantly sitting upright.

"I'm awake," it sounds dazed but when he sees you and the look in your eyes he is immediately alert, "what is it?"

"My stomach hurts and I lost some blood, you have to take me to the hospital."

"Okay."

Without further questioning he dresses himself and you walk to the stairs and he helps you down carefully, one hand clutching the railing and the other holds Lucas's hand tightly. When you are downstairs he suddenly lifts you bridal style and you give a little scream.

"What are you doing?"

"You can barely walk, this goes faster."

"I'm four months pregnant!"

"I won't drop you."

During the ride to the hospital you keep holding his hand all the time, refusing to let go and even though it makes it difficult for him to switch to another gear he doesn't complain about it, making small circles on the back just like Tom would do and it calms you down a bit just thinking about him.

"I'm afraid, Lucas." you whisper.

"I know, but it's okay, we're almost there."

Just five minutes later Lucas parks his car in front of the hospital, and he wants to get out but you clamp his hand more firmly in yours.

"Y/N, you need to let my hand go for a moment, I have to get somebody. I'll be right back." he promises.

You nod and release his hand, Lucas runs inside and indeed comes back almost immediately with a nurse and a wheelchair. You protest and say that you can walk but the nurse is informed about your pregnancy and she wants to take no chances. She wheels you to a room with an ultrasound machine and she says there will be a doctor with you as soon as possible. Fortunately, the gynecologist who helped you previously comes walking in the room while she looks at you.

"I hear you had cramps and loss of blood" she says.

"Yes, the cramps are less intense but I still feel them."

"Okay, lie down on the table then we will have a look."

Lucas helps you on the table and you slide your shorts down a bit and your top up, revealing your stomach.

"Am I losing my baby?" you whisper.

"Cramps and loss of blood can have all sorts of reasons, but let's have a look first."

The gynecologist sets the doptone on your stomach and when you hear the rapid heartbeat of your baby, you are so relieved you feel tears in your eyes.

"The baby seems to be in order," she says, "there's nothing wrong."

"How can I bleed then?" you ask.

"That can have all sorts of reasons, the main one is stress. Have you had a lot of stress lately?"

"The wedding." you say and close your eyes.

"What wedding?"

"My wedding, I have to arrange everything myself with Emma, my bridesmaid, because Tom is in Toronto for his latest film, for three weeks more."

"And why does that cause stress?"

"Because we have only four weeks, now three."

"Okay, it's none of my bissuness why it should be so fast but I must insist that you take some rest. This time there is nothing wrong with your baby but you are at a stage that the baby can feel your stress. Let Emma do most of the work. "

"Okay."

The gynecologist gives you some wipes so you can clean your stomach and meanwhile she puts away the equipment. When you say goodbye to her she makes you promise that you will take it easy and when you sit back in the car, you look out the window. You are happy and relieved that the baby is fine and all of a sudden you're so tired that you have trouble staying awake and when Lucas has parked the car at the house your sleeping. He opens the door and decides to let you sleep, he carefully lifts you up but the movement causes your eyes to open and you look at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking you to bed, wrapp your arms around my neck."

You do what he says and when he stands you lay your head on his shoulder and as he carries you upstairs you remember that Tom is waiting.

"Tom ... he's still on the laptop, I had fallen asleep last night but he kept the connection, I have to tell him ...." the rest of your sentence dies down in a yawn.

"Leave Tom to me."

You don't argue and by the time Lucas walks into your bedroom your sleeping again, he immediately sees the laptop and the silhoutte of Tom who turns himself and he leans forward.

"Is she okay?" he asks softly.

"Yeah, she's fine and the baby too, she fell asleep in the car." Lucas says softly.

"What happened?"

"Stress, all the things that needed to be arranged for the wedding in such a short time have taken it's toll. She had to promise the doctor that she lets Emma do most of the work."

Lucas sits down on the edge of the bed and along with Tom he looks at your sleeping form.

"This was my fault." Tom says suddenly.

"No it was not."

"I was the one who wanted to get married so soon, y/n still wanted an extra week but I ...."

"And I was here, I was with her, I could have paid more attention so it's just as well my fault," he says, looking at Tom, "it useless to point at someone with your finger."

"I was so scared, if anything would happen to y/n or our baby..... I want you to promise me something Lucas," he says,"I want you make sure she's taking it easy, that this does not happen again."

"I promise I'll be watching her closely and when I suspect that she does too much, I will take action."

"Thank you."

Lucas nods and wishes Tom a good nights sleep before he walks away.


	52. chapter 50

When you open your eyes, the first thing you see are two bright blue ones that look at you, Tom is on his side and you mirror his position.

"Good morning." you say sleepy.

"Good morning, darling, how are you feeling?"

You frown your eyebrows and think for a moment.

"Good, relieved."

"You gave me quite a scare last night." he says.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm just glad that you and the baby are fine."

"Me too."

For a moment it is silent while you keep looking at each other and then you notice that Tom looks tired.

"Did you sleep at all last night?"

"Little bit." he confesses.

"Why is that?"

"After Lucas put you in bed last night and left, I put the volume of the laptop on max. so I awoke from every sigh and mutter and every twist you made, I wanted to make sure everything was all right with you."

"That's sweet of you," you say, touched by his concern, "what time is it where you are?"

"Three o'clock in the night."

"I think it's best if we say goodbye so you can get some sleep before you have to go to the set."

"On one condition."

"What?"

"That you let Emma do the work from now on, I want you to take it easy, y/n, I don't want to go through what happened last night ever again, I've never been so scared in my life."

"I promise."

Tom smiles and puts his hand on the screen and you do the same.

"I love you, darling."

"And I love you, now go to sleep."

Tom nods and when you have broken the connection you roll on your back and your hands move to your belly, you stroke it and close your eyes for a moment. He's right, you must take it easy, this time it ended well but who says that the next time it will too and so you make the promise to yourself that you give Emma control all the way and you yourself will stay in the background for if she has any questions so when she comes by later that day you inform her about what happened and she agrees that it is better that you take it easy and let her do everything. So Emma makes sure that in the coming days a baker comes by with different cakes so you can taste and she does the same with the food and at the end of the week that is also done.

The next time you speak Tom you lie back on the bed and after you start to yawn you want to say goodbye.

"No wait," Tom suddenly says,"I've been thinking and apart from what happened last night, I found it nice to see you falling asleep, to listen to your breathing and it was also very nice that you were the first thing I saw when I opened my eyes. "

"You want to leave the connection intact?" you ask.

"Yeah, it feels a bit like you're with me."

"It feels the same for me."

You lie on your stomach and slide a pillow on the floor so that you can put down your laptop firmer in it's place, you lay your head on your arms and close your eyes.

"So, what are you going to do since it is still only like eight o'clock where you are? And don't tell me it's watching me sleep because I don't want to be the reason you die of boredom."

"Oh watching you sleep is anything but boring, darling, but don't worry about me, I have everything I need, I have my Jameson with ice, a good book and the morst important thing; you. Sleep well, darling."

You smile and feel yourself already drifting away in your sleep and when you wake up the next morning and you see Tom sleeping you come up slightly and you look at him a moment, he lies on his stomach, head turned to the screen, eyes closed, arm under his pillow. Your eyes follow the line of his arm and they glide to his shoulder, his back and you lie on your back, hands on your stomach while you close your eyes and in your mind do the rest of his body. His lower back, buttocks, hips, his erection .... oh ..... and you lick your lips. Almost automatically one of your hands slide upward and over your breast, the touch of your sensitive nipples ensures that a sigh escapes your lips. Your other hand goes down and you caress the inside of your thigh before it disappears in your panties to immediately rub your folds and you tilt your hips up and let a finger slip inside. Your breathing becomes heavier and you bite your lip to keep a groan inside.

"Please don't, let me hear you." you suddenly hear beside you.

You roll your head to the side and see that Tom is leaning on his elbow, eyes looking with great attention at the fingers that carreses your breast.

"Tom ..."

"I'm here, darling, I'm right here. Are you touching yourself down there?"

"Yes ..."

"Are you wet for me?"

"So wet." you moan.

"Jesus, y/n."

You hear the longing in his voice and you lick your lips when you see Tom lies down on his back and closes his eyes and when he presses his head into the pillow you know he took himself in hand.

"Fuck, just by creating the illusion that you are touching yourself makes me so hard."

His head rolls to the side and he looks at you now, it's dark in his room but you can see the lust in his eyes and it makes you even wetter.

"I'm so close." you say.

"I know, darling, I am too." is his answer.

You squeeze your nipple and are now pumping with two fingers inside you while your thumb is playing with your clit and when you hear Tom's breath falter you press it and come to a climax at about the same time that Tom reaches his peak. For a brief moment your keep lying like that before you look at your screen and are met with two blue eyes who look at you lovingly. You are smiling and look away but when you hear Tom saying your name you look at him.

"That was awesome." he says.

"Yes it was," you take a deep breath, "let me see."

"What?"

"Your cock, I want to see it."

Tom frowns but sets the laptop so that you can see his cock, on his abdomen lies a puddle of seed and Tom holds himself with his thumb and forefinger.

"It's so perfect, so big and so thick and it feels so delicious inside me, stretching me so good....."

"Fuck, y/n."

You smile and reach out your hand to the screen, following the outline of his cock. Tom slowly curls his fingers around it and begins to jerk.

"You always fill me up so good, no one has ever filled me so completly as you, no one has ever been able to satisfy me as you can. No one has ever made me feel like you do while you pound inside me, making me scream your name or take me slowly and no one ever will because I am yours and yours alone."

"Mine." he whispers.

"Yours, Tom, forever."

You can hear by the hitching of his voice he is close and you keep talking while you see how his hand keeps moving up and down his shaft and every so often his thumb slides over the head spreading the precome. Then he stops, gives a little tug and you see his abdomenal muscles contract before spraying thick white stripes from his cock.

"God, that's so hot."

Tom laughs breathlessly and ultimately his face reappears on the screen.

"You know, this reminds me of the time when we were just together, we couldn't keep our hands off each other, we fucked constantly on every surface we could find, the couch, the floor, the kitchen counter, up against the wall, in the pool oh and of course in bed."

You blush at his words and bite your lip.

"I need to clean myself up before it dries." he says.

You smile and come forward to lay your hand on the screen, and Tom does the same.

"Go get cleaned up then and get a few more hours of sleep, I'll talk to you tonight, honey."

"Until tonight, darling, and take it easy, promise me."

"I promise."

The next day it's time for the photos and when Megan lays them out on the table laid your eyes go over them, they are lovely and you look at her satisfied and you're not completely surprised when you see that Lucas is standing close to her and she has to chuckle about something he whispers to her. You scrape your throat and they both look up at you.

"They are very beautiful."

"Thanks, I'll pass that to Tony and Matt, they will be happy to hear it."

"I would love it if I could get some for myself."

"Normally we store the pictures in a file but I'll make sure you get them back."

"That's great, thank you."

Megan nods and collects the pictures while the bell rings. Emma is at the door and she gives you a hug before you walk into the living room.

"Oh, I didn't know you had company." she says.

"This is Megan, she's from Elle magazine, she just showed me the pictures they took for an article they will place about Tom and me." you explain.

"Oh, okay," she says and looks at you questingly.

"It's okay, you can trust her." you say.

"Okay," she sets her purse down while looking at you but something in your posture tells her something's off,"are you okay?"

When you tell her what happened last night she looks at you caring, and she agrees with you that she now controls things so that you can take it easy.

"So, we have the wedding dress, invitations, location," Emma says, and crosses the words on the list, "shall we look at flowers a photographer and food this afternoon?"

"Okay." you say.

"You know," Megan says and walks towards you,"I can ask Matt and Tony to take pictures, you know them and you've seen their work and you know you can trust them."

"That isn't such a bad idea, can you ask them?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

She smiles at you and takes her things before Lucas walks her out and Emma walks into the kitchen to make a pot of tea. You sit down on the couch, you fold your legs under your body and when Emma comes walking into the living room again she sets a tray with three glasses of tea and a pot of tea with a tea egg in it on the table and she sits down.

It takes until mid-afternoon until you've picked flowers and have found a caterer, you write down the names and when Emma gets up to approach the companies the phone rings. It is the print shop to indicate that the invitations are waiting to be picked up and Emma adds it to her list.

"I'm sorry that we can not divide the tasks." you say apologetically.

"Dont worry about it, you have to keep yourself calm for the baby."

While Emma is gone you call Sophie to ask whether your can send her a list of names through email which you do not have the addresses of but Sophie suggests that she comes by that evening with the addresses so that you can write the envelopes together. You agree and while you wait for Emma to return you grab Tom's address book and lay it on the table. Then you boot up your laptop and open your mail, you've got an idea for the music at your wedding and even though you know it's a long shot you at least have to try and you adress it to their management, you explain the situation and you also mention Tom's name and that he has seen them at least two times and is one of their biggest fans. You also realize they are a very busy band and will understand it if they are already booked that day, no harm done. After you have checked the mail you click send, hoping for the best but expecting nothing. Almost instantly you get an email back, surprising you and with trembling hands, you open it. You read the text quickly and for a moment you are stunned by the answer, but after five minutes it dawns on you, their coming, they are really coming. The mail says that they remember Tom coming to two of their shows and they have even talked to him and it would be their honor to sing on your weddingday and you can't believe your luck especially when they mention that they are not booked for that evening so they can stay for as long as you both want, Tom is going to go crazy when he hears this but you decide to keep it a secret from him. You can hardly believe it and start laughing while your eyes scan the mail again and your even more surprised to see that the lead singer replied to you. When Emma is back at the end of the afternoon she tells you that she gave the location to the flowercompany so they can see ho much they need and that the caterer will come by tomorrow with some foodsamples for you. Then she lays the huge pile of invitations on the table and you're glad that you have some help that evening.

"I'm hungry," Emma suddenly says,"how about we order in?"

"Not for me, I'm going out." Lucas suddenly says and stands up.

"Where are you going?" you ask.

Lucas smiles bashful and stops his hands in his pockets, avoiding your eyes.

"Oh my God, you're going out with Megan." you say.

"Yes, when I was walking her out earlier she told me that she also thought of me a lot, she wants to go for a drink in town and she suggested eating too afterwards but I told her I couldn't."

"What? Why not?"

"Because I don't want you to be alone."

"I'll stay with her for as long as your gone." Emma says suddenly.

"What? But Dean and the children?"

"They will just have to do without me for an evening, Dean is a great father, he'll be fine."

"Emma, they already had to miss you a lot this last week...."

"Hey, I'm your bridesmaid, and this is what bridesmaids do. And besides, I think Tom would find it a reassuring thought to know that his little sister keeps an eye on you, especially after what happened last night." she says.

"I knew there was a good reason I asked you," you say and look at Lucas again,"give Megan my regards and have fun."

"Thank you I will."

"And stay out as long as you want, I'm sure Emma will be happy to stay with me, being a good bridesmaid and all!" you yell after him.

Lucas smiles and when you hear the door closing Emma looks at you.

"Do you think it is wise that Lucas goes out with her?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well she is a journalist and he knows a lot about your relationship with Tom, take Lisa, your engagement, details about the wedding, your pregnancy."

"I had not even thought about that, but I'm sure Lucas will not say anything, we've been trough a lot, I know him and I trust him."

"What if she gets him drunk just to make him talk or something." Emma says.

"She wouldn't do that."

"You don't know." Emma says.

"Yes, I do, when they were with us in Toronto Alyssa, another journalist, found an echo of our baby, I was just ten weeks pregnant too early to tell so I begged them to keep it a secret. Megan said that when they were hired they had to sign something, the bottom line was that if they would do something that would damage our trust in them it would also damage the trust of other famous people in the magazine. And they would be fired and the whole magazine world would know why so no magazine would ever hire them again. Even if Lucas would reveal something, which I'm sure he wouldn't, she will not tell."

"Okay, now I'm a little more at ease about it,"she says and grabs the list,"so the flowers and the food is also done."

"And the music." you add.

Emma looks up and frowns her eyebrow.

"What have you chosen?"

You smile and because she will probably not believe you otherwise you let her read the email from the band and Emma's eyes widen.

"They will perform at your wedding?"

"Yeah, amazing isn't it?"

"Amazing? Oh, amazing isn't even going to cover this one, Tom will go mad when he hears that, he is one of their biggest fans."

"I know, but I want to keep it secret."

"Oh you are going to give him a heart attack on his own wedding, the second one."

"And when will the first one be?"

"When he sees you in your wedding dress." Emma says, winking.

You smile and when you, Sophie and Emma write the envelopes later that evening it all goes surprisingly fast and before you know it, it is finished and the pile is divided into two piles. The conversation also comes on the dresses for the bridesmaids and you ask if they have things they would rather not want to wear but both shrug their shoulders, saying it's your day, your choice which makes it even easier. By the time Sophie says goodbye it is about half past nine and when she drives off, you see another car stop at the gate and you recognize the car of Lucas. You smile and walk towards him and when he sees you, he can not help but laugh and he looks away.

"Everything went good I presume?" you ask.

"Yes, everything went very well, it was very enjoyable, Megan is truly an amazing woman." he says.

"Well, I'm happy for you, come on." you say and take his hand to pull him inside.

When Emma says goodbye an hour later you have about an hour before you are expected on Skype and you look at Lucas expectantly, he smiles and tells you that right from the start it felt very easily between them, while they eat they talked about their childhood, where they grew up, went to school and eventually about their work and Lucas laughs.

"What?"

"Just that we find each others work much more fascinating that what we do ourselves, Megan thinks that I am involved in a thrilling car chase at least a few times every week or run into a bank gun drawn while I find it fascinating how she meets famous people every week and she interviews them, and sometimes, like when she gave Tom the award for Man of the Year, travels to the most beautiful cities."

"Speaking of Tom, has she asked about him, or me?" you ask cautiously.

"No, disappointed?" he asks, winking.

"No, not at all."

Lucas shifts position and looks at you.

"I know what you want to ask, and I appreciate that you try to do it discreetly, but Megan did not ask me for drinks and dinner to gain information about you and Tom, and even if she was I still would not tell, you can trust me."

"I know and I do, really and it's nice to hear, not only because she is not fishing about me and Tom but also because she really genuinely is interested in you, you deserve it,"you say and stand up,"I'm going to take a quick shower before my 'date' with Tom."


	53. Question

No, no new chapter, so sorry to lure you with false pretences, my sweets, but I have a question, I feel really honored that my story is read and appreciated so much by you guys, and lately I wonder why that is. What does this story have that ensures you to come back and that in recent weeks more readers are drawn to this piece. 

The last ten chapters have gotten 100 kudo's, that's 20 per chapter in my book is that quite a lot.

So, is it because of the tension Lisa brings, the sex (no doubt) by the interaction between Tom and the reader, or something else? Or all of them? Or something entirely different? What is the secret behind the succes according to you?


	54. chapter 51

Fifteen minutes later, you lie in bed talking with the love of your life and when you tell him what number you want to do the first dance on, you don't tell him that they will play it live, he frowns.

"Are you sure? This is not really a song to slow dance on."

"I know but you said you wanted to twirl me around, I'm giving you a change here, take it or leave it."

"Oh I'm taking it." he laughs.

"Good, I know we have little time but for someone so 'loose in the hips' as you it should be no problem to teach me to dance."

"I love a challenge, you know that, otherwise I would not have become an actor and that's going quite well, I thought," he laughs,"it will be my pleasure to teach you to dance, darling. Do you already know where you want to go on our honeymoon?"

"Well, you promised to take me to India one day."

"Yes, to see Sarah but she will be here then."

"I'm sure there is more to see in India then just Sarah."

"That's true, let me make the reservation at the hotel, I know New Delhi from promoting Thor and The Dark World, I'll show you all the hotspots and romantic places. We will visit Chennai when Sarah and Yukov are home."

"Can't wait."

You smile and stretch yourself making your top ride up, revealing a streak of skin and Tom's eyes go there.

"How far are you with your book?" you ask.

"Oh....uh...not so very far." he says, blushing.

"How can that be? You have had three hours yesterday evening and I thought you loved to read."

"I do, really, but like I said, I find it a true delight to watch you while you sleep. And I have to confess a secret."

"And what's that?" you ask and roll your head sideways to look at him.

"When I was watching you while you slept yesterday evening, every sigh, every groan, every whisper that you made turned me on so terribly, y/n, even while you sleep and do nothing you are so amazingly sexy and before I knew it, I took myself in hand, I was so hard."

You feel yourself blush but can not look away from his bright blue eyes that look at you longingly and your breathing hitches.

"Tom ..."

"Am I making you uncomfortable?"

"No, excited."

"Touch yourself, sexy, and let me see, let me watch like I let you watch."

You smile and you move the laptop to the foot of the bed and you slide yourself up until you are sitting against the head end of the bed and you fold your legs underneath you while your hands move to the hem of your top. You remove it slowly but before Tom gets the change to look at your breasts you cover them with your hands and smile at him.

"Come on, stop teasing, show me."

"If you show me yours." you say challenging.

"Have you not seen enough the last time?"

"From you I have never seen enough."

Tom smiles and positions the laptop just like you and he moves against the headboard of the bed, you see his fingers curl around his cock and he slowly begins to give tugs before he lets his hand move in a steady rhythm over his shaft and when a groan escapes his lips your inner muscles clench. You let your hands cup your breasts and massage them before you pinch your nipples untill they are hard. Then you pull your shorts off and throw it next to your top besides the bed and you massage the inside of your thighs gently before you let a hand slip between your legs and slide it between your folds. You moan softly and let your head fall back against the headboard of the bed.

"No, look at me, sexy," Tom says, voice full of lust,"tell me how it feels."

"So good, not as good as when you do it...."

"Don't worry, when I get back I will waste no time in getting you between the sheets and when I do.....God the things I am going to do to you.....I will rock your world, darling."

Your breath hitches in your throat hearing his words and their meaning and you see the blue of his eyes is almost black with longing and it pushes you closer to the edge. You feel honored that you are allowed to see him like this, so uninhibited, so vulnerable and your head spins from it. Your eyes go to his cock, you see that the pace is slightly faster and after every few tugs he rubs his thumb over the tip, smearing the little precum which has formed there and when you notice his breathing is ragged you know he's close. You put two fingers inside you and curl them, place your feet on the mattress and roll your hips up at each inward movement until you feel that familiar tingling feeling in your stomach.

"I'm close." you gasp.

"Me too."

You pump a few times and when you hear Tom saying your name you look up and see white stripes of seed spraying from his cock accompanied by a broken moan and it pushes you over the edge. You put your head back against the headboard again and arch your back.

"Fuck, y/n."

You take a deep breath and look at him, he's leaning back, half hard cock against his belly covered with thick white stripes. Your fingers slip out of your folds and your moan softly of the stimulation, panting, you lie on your stomach and lean on your elbows.

"You are surely a wonderfully beautiful sight for sore eyes right now." you say.

Tom laughs and looks at you, then to the seed on his abdomen and back at you through his eyelashes.

"Too bad that laptops aren't waterproof or I would take you into the shower with me."

"Then we will save that for when your here." you promise him.

He sits back and looks at you.

"Go to sleep, darling, but keep your laptop on."

"Okay."

The next days you and Emma are mostly preoccupied with the smaller things, the seating arrangement, a scenario for the wedding day, a thank you for the guests and at the end of the weekend you also have called the priest of the church to give a time and then you call The Brook House to reserve the twenty houses for yourself and Tom and the bridesmaids and their partners/families and for Tom's best men's and partners/families. Also you make sure you have cribs and high chairs for Jason, Levi, India, Tristan and Sasha. You also book the Albion Hotel for your guests and for assurance you call the shipping line which provides the ferry crossing to the island and they assure you that if you give them a list of the guests they make sure they receive free admission. The dresses for Emma and Sophie are arranged and meanwhile Tom has been in contact with Chris, who feels honored to be Tom's best man next to Ben. When on Sunday night yous it on the couch, tired but satisfied, Lucas sits next to you and together you look at the TV when the phone rings and without thinking about it you pick up.

"What?" you say and sit up straight, "No I do not want to say,..... no."

You hang up and keep looking at the phone.

"What?" Lucas asks and looks at you.

"That was some magazine, they have read in Elle that Tom and I are getting married and I'm pregnant, they want an interview."

"Oh, that magazine came out in the shelves last Friday of course."

"Yes, I totally forgot." you say.

Your startled when the phone rings again and you pick up.

"Leave me alone."

You put the phone on the table and lay your arms over each other.

"The same magazine?"

"Yes, they want to know where the wedding is and whether the press and media are invited, they want to make exclusive pictures."

"There will be more of those calls." Lucas warns.

"I know and I will disappoint all of them, I don't want press on my wedding day and besides, I already promised Elle pictures."

"Megan is very pleased with that." Lucas says, smiling.

"Oh, they have had pretty much all the 'scoops' of Tom and me, and they have proven that we can trust them so why should we change that," you say and look at him, "have you talked to Megan since you saw her?"

"We call each other regularly, I am starting to liker her more and more each day." He says.

"Aw, and I brought you two together." you say but then you yawn.

"Go upstairs, wait for Tom." Lucas suggests.

You nod and wish him a goodnight before you walk upstairs and while the laptop is booting up you brush your teeth and pull on your shorts and top, and when you're under the sheets Tom's face appears on the screen and you smile.

"Good evening, beauty." he says.

"Hey handsome."

You talk some and you tell him how far you are with the preparations and how good Emma helps you with everything, you'd really be lost without her but you feel a little guilty that his Dean has to miss his wife so often and Jason Levi their mother but Tom convinces you of the fact that they do not mind, just like Emma doesn't mind to help you. You also tell him that you where called by a magazine asking where your wedding is and whether the press can come, you say that he probably also may expect calls but suddenly you stop talking.

"What's wrong?" Tom says, immediately alarmed by your silence.

"The baby," you say and your hands go to your abdomen, "I felt him."

"What?" Tom looks at your stomach, which is now showing a little bump and then to you again,"seriously?"

"Yes, oh it tickles." you laugh.

"Can you really feel it?"

"Yes, on the inside of my stomach though. It's like he moves his fingers over the wall."

You look up and search his eyes and see that they are still looking at your stomach, you're on your back and slide the sheet down to just below your belly button and your hand rubs over it and he smiles as he looks at the place where your baby grows.

"Your showing just a little bit but you're really beautiful." he says and looks at you.

"Thank you."

The rest of the week the list of wedding points becomes smaller and smaller until there are only points left that Emma can also take care of by herself and recommends you to use the rest of the week to look for baby stuff online. She tells you that there is a babystore just outside London, the Baby Dump Store, with has everything you want and when you go to the site you see that she's right. They have strollers, maxi cosi, car seats, dining chairs, tubs, boxes, clothing but also fully equipped playrooms and bedrooms. You store the site on the laptop and when your talking to Tom that night you give him the link and together you view the stuff they have.

"They really have everything, don't they." Tom says.

"Yeah, amazing, so much things, how in the world are we going to chose something."

"We'll be fine, darling, we'll just ask for some help. One week, darling, one more week and then I'm home. I can not wait until we can seek out things for the little one together." he says.

"Me too, it is an expensive shop."

"That does not matter, no price is too high to give our baby what it needs."

"I wanted to make an appointment with a gynecologist for the Friday before we get married, I'm about 20 weeks then, they can also see if it will be a boy or a girl."

"Do you want to know?"

"I think I want it to be a surprise."

"That it will remains a surprise, darling, if you do not want to know I do not want to know either."

"I'm going to pick up my wedding dress tomorrow." you say suddenly.

"Oh yeah?" Tom says and smiles.

"Yeah, if all is well it is ready and if it feels okay I'll bring it to your mother."

"My mother? Why?"

"I don't want it in the house with the risk that you see it, it brings bad luck."

"I did not know you were superstitious."

"Am I not, but I just want to keep the surprise until the moment I walk down the aisle towards you with your father."

"You will be beautiful."

"And you devilishly handsome in your suit and talking about that, you want me to pick a date for you and Ben to get a suit?"

"Sure, and you should call Elsa to ask for Chris' size so we can make sure it fits him."

"Okay, I will."

You talk some more and when your eyes start to droop Tom tells you to go to sleep.

 

The next day you drive along with Lucas and Emma to the store after you've picked up Diana first, you want her there when you fit your wedding dress and she's honored that you want her there. As you walk to the store you notice that Lucas is beginning to get a bit uncomfortable and in front of the store you take his arm and he looks at you.

"You can wait here if you want."

"Thank you," he says with relief, "and maybe that's better, I don't want to alert you but we were followed."

"What? By who?"

"I don't know, he remained at a distance but he is parked across the road."

"Do you think it is that journalist?"

"Could be, I will keep an eye on it and if he comes too close then I will stop him."

"Thank you."

You enter the store and you see that Emma and Diana are already talking to the saleswoman and when the saleswoman, Bianca, sees you she smiles and beckons you to come along to the spacious changing rooms in the back of the store.

"The wedding dress already hangs in the changing room, if you need help please let me know." she says.

You nod and get into the changing room and close the door, you turn around and when you see the wedding dress you stop breathing, it's beautiful just the way you want and reach your hands towards it.

"Are you okay, sweetie?" you hear Diana ask.

"Yeah, just a second." you say.

You pull your clothes off and put them on a chair, carefully you take the dress and open the zipper which is tucked away on the side and runs from your armpit to the top of your hip. You manage to pull the dress on and to close the zipper. You take the fabric in your hands and pull it up a little so you don't step on it and slowly you step out of the changing room and Diana and Emma look at you simultaneously, Diana puts her hand over her mouth and Emma just smiles.

"Oh, sweetheart, look at you." Diana says.

Bianca steps to you and reaches out her hand which you take and she leads you to a small round platform where you stand on and when you look before you, you see three large mirrors so you can see yourself from all angles. It is perfect and fits your body like a second skin because it's made of strapless stretch lace to ensure that if your belly grows it still fits, your breasts fall into the cups perfectly and at the hips it flares out but still hangs in long elegant folds around your legs. It falls to just above your ankles, and when you feel a gentle tug on the hem you look down and see that Bianca looks if it is as long everywhere. When she stands up she looks at you.

"Is it what you wanted?" she asks.

"Yes, and so much more," you say and look at yourself in the mirror, "it's perfect."

"He's going to cry, mom," you hear Emma suddenly say, and you look at her in the mirror, "as soon as he sees you walking down the aisle with dad, he's going to cry, I just know it."

You smile and although the price is almost staggering high, the wedding dress is more than worth it and your posistive Tom will think so too.

"Is there anything else you need? Shoes perhaps?" Bianca asks.

"You have shoes?"

"We have everything to accommodate a bride to be." she says.

"A bridal bouquet, you don't have that." Emma says.

"No that's true."

You explain to Bianca what flowers you like and she promises you that she will make a lovely bouquet for you, meanwhile, she lets you see a pair of shoes that most women choose for under the wedding dress, with reasonably small heels so they are able to walk all day. You put them on and they are beautifully under your dress and you decide to buy them. After you have taken off the dress you give it back to Bianca so she can put it in a white clothing cover and when your dressed and walk into the store again, you see that Emma is looking at a cream-colored dress and you stand next to her.

"Do you like that one?" you ask.

"Yes, it's elegant, simple, it seems like a good choice for Sophie and me."

"Why don't you try it on then?"

"Are you sure? Do you have time?"

"Yes of course."

Emma smiles and takes the dress and to be sure you call Sophie to ask her size in case the dress get picked. When Emma steps out of the changing room she smiles.

"It sits delightful, y/n, I can easily walk around in it for a day and it is loose enough to help the children and you, I think this is the one."

You walk up to her and look at the dress and you must admit that despite it being a simple dress it is very elegant, it falls just above the knee and while Emma changes you look for Sophie's size and fortunately there is another one in the rack, you and Emma arrive at the same time at the cash register and the three dresses are paid. You fold the dress double carefully and loosely twice and when you walk out Emma and Diana go to the car while you look at Lucas.

"He's still there and he takes pictures." he says.

"Really?"

"Do you want me to go there?"

"No that's okay, taking pictures is not against the law."

"It is when they place them." Lucas argues.

"Yes, but I'm going to marry Tom Hiddleston, he just happens to be a public figure and I am his fiancé," you say with a shrug, "I just have to get used to seeing photographers, I guess, it's all in the package."

Lucas first brings Diana home so she can hang your wedding dress up and then you go by Sophie to bring her dress and finally Emma is the last you bring home. Lucas has watched the photographer in the mirrors but when you ride into your street he goes the other way and you are relieved. When you are talking with Tom via Skype later that night you tell him what happened and that he should not be surprised when he sees the pictures in a magazine.

"I'm sorry, darling."

"It's okay. As I said to Lucas, you're after all a public figure, so I'll have to get used to it."

"But still, I am the one who is famous and who chose to be in the spotlight, not you."

"I know, but I ...." suddenly you stop talking and look over your shoulder to the door of your bedroom.

"What?"

"I don't know, I thought I heard something."

"Like what?"

"Lucas is still downstairs."

You look at Tom again but when you suddenly hear a blow you sit up in bed.

"Maybe you should go see if he's all right." Tom suggests.

"Yeah, maybe, I'll be right back."

You slide off the bed and pull on a gown, you open the door and look at the landing, nothing. You walk out of the room and suddenly you hear voices, that of Lucas and a female voice and for a moment you think it's Megan but when you listen closer you realize it's not her.

"Lucas?" you call.

The voices stop talking and when you hear someone running up the stairs you take a step back and you frown your eyebrows, Lucas suddenly comes running around the corner and you are startled by the panic in his voice when he speaks.

"Go into the bedroom." he says.

"What? Lucas, what is...."

"Please, go into the bedroom and lock the door." he says.

He pushes you backwards but because you don't understand what is going on you resist. In a moment of silence you suddenly hear a click and Lucas stiffens. Swiftly he turns himself around and stands protectively in front of you and simultaneously pushes you backwards towards your bedroom. When you peek over his shoulder your breath falters in your throat. Less than five meters away from you Lisa is standing but what has you scared the most is that she is holding a gun and is pointing it at you.

"Move." Lisa says demanding.

"No," is the firm answer she gets,"I will not let you harm her, I was hired to protect her and I will, with my life so you will just have to shoot me first."

"Well, if you insist." Lisa shrugs.

During the conversation Lucas has kept walking backwards, step by step to avoid raising suspicion with Lisa and when Lucas notices that your standing right next to your doorway he turns quickly and pushes you into the bedroom. The moment you tumble into your bedroom you hear a shot and when you look back your eyes find Lucas. He lies on the ground and reaches his hand for the doorknob and he looks at you for a moment.

"Lock the door." he breathes.

Then he slams the door shut and you crawl on your knees towards it to lay your hands against it, in a flash you turn the lock and when something, someone, slams against the door it vibrates in its hinges. You fall back on your ass and crawl backwards until you bump into the bed.

"Y/N?"

Your head jerks at the sound and you are confronted with two blue eyes who look at you troubled.

"What's going on?"

Just when you want to say something you hear another shot and you look over your shoulder to the door. Your thoughts go to Lucas, he wouldn't be.....? No, you can't think like that. That can't be!

"Open the damn door, bitch!"

"Is that Lisa?"

"Yes."

"Y/N, look at me."

You turn your head and look at him.

"Is there a lock on the bathroom door?"

"I think so."

"Then lock yourself in."

"But Lucas ..."

"You can do nothing for Lucas, please go to the bathroom, darling, I need you and the baby to be safe." he pleads.

You get up and when you take a step in the direction of the bathroom another shot sounds and you scream.

"Go! Now!"

Suddenly you hear a creaking sound, and your eyes widen when you see that the door is flung open and Lisa walks inside. When she sees you she aims the weapon at you.

"Lisa, do not do this." you suddenly hear Tom say.

Lisa's eyes go to the laptop and the arm slightly drops.

"Tom," she says and then looks at you, "Tom is here, what a nice surprise!"

"Please don't do this."

"Don't do what? This?" she asks, pointing the weapon at you, you take a step backwards, but Lisa takes a step forward,"no, stay where you are."

"Lisa, listen to me, if you do this then you will break my heart, your want to have that on your conscience?"

"No, of course not ....."

"I beg you, Lisa, think about the child, my child, I will never forgive you that you have taken away my child from me."

Lisa hesitates, the fact that Tom calls it his child and not your child is making her reluctant.

"You can not always avoid collateral damage."

"The child has organs that work, he breathes by himself, a heartbeat, a......"

Suddenly Lisa aims the weapon at the laptop and pulls the trigger, shattering it and you close your eyes.

"He distracted me. Now, where were we?" your hear Lisa say, aiming the weapon at you again.


	55. chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so I now I said I would post this tuesday evening or wednesday morning and it is now tuesday mid afternoon here but I am just to freaking excited about what you guys think of this chapter and about how I did. So let me know, please...?

You wait, wait for the shot that will hit you, that will probably end the life of you and your child and your hands go to your stomach. In your mind, you say goodbye to him and to Tom. But when the shot does come you feel nothing, no pain, you do not fall back by the force of the shot, but when you hear something fall on the ground with a thud you slowly open your eyes. Instead of Lisa you see Lucas, arm extended in front of him with a small weapon clutched in his fingers, breathing violently, face red with exertion and penetrating eyes that look at you. The next thing you see is blood, Lucas covered in blood, his hand, his arm, his shoulder and even his head, his hair sticking together because of it.

"Lucas ...." you say and take a step in his direction.

"No," he says, and holds his hand up, making you halt mid-step,"you should see if she's dead."

"What?"

"Lisa," he points to Lisa's body, which is lying on the ground, on her stomach, "you have to take her weapon too."

You kneel down next to her and with trembling fingers you try to get the gun from her grip but without success.

"I can't, I...oh God..." you whisper.

"Easy, stay calm, y/n, you can do this."

"Okay." you say with a small voice.

You breathe deeply and try again and this time you succeed, you hold the gun awkwardly and look at Lucas for help.

"Throw it to me."

You nod and when you want to throw the weapon to Lucas suddenly a cry sounds and before you can do anything you feel Lisa's hands around your neck, your scream of terror and you drop the weapon. Lisa pushes you against the ground and squeezes her fingers around your throat and you feel the breath is squeezed out of your body, your hands slam against her chest, but it looks like she doesn't even feel it. Then you hear a shot again and feel something spatter on your chest, you close your eyes and feel Lisa falling on top of you. Her fingers slacken around your throat and you gasp for breath trying to get as much oxegen in your lungs as possible, faintly you hear someone calling out your name and when you see movement beside you, you look and see Lucas crawling towards you, face contorted with pain while he pulls himself forward with his arms. Lucas extends his hand to Lisa's throat and feels for a pulse and when he shakes 'no' you start crying, relieved that she is dead. Lucas leans on his elbows and with utmost effort pushes Lisa from you who falls next to you, you immediately crawl away from her and seek the safety of Lucas' arms around you. You feel how he lays an arm around you and presses you against him tightly.

"It's okay, it's okay, she's dead, Lisa is dead, it's over, calm down." he whispers.

One hand cups the back of your head while the other lies on your lower back and you fist your hands in his shirt and press your face in the hollow of his neck. It seems to take hours before your crying turns into hiccups but eventually you look up at him, then you see that he's covered in blood and you sit upright.

"Oh God, you are injured, where are you hurt?"

"My shoulder, and my leg and my head hurts."

You slide away from him and see that his shirt is dark and soaked with blood around one of his shoulders and the same goes for his pants around his right leg.

"I need to call an ambulance." you say and stand up.

"You need to call Tom."

"What?" you ask.

"You need to call Tom, he is probably worried to death about you, you must call him to reassure him." he says, lifting himself up slightly.

"But you ....."

"I know you're alive, Tom doesn't, and moreover someone has undoubtedly heard the shots and perhaps already called the police."

At that moment you hear sirens pierce the quiet night and you look at the window and then back to Lucas who is laughing breathlessly.

"There are the reinforcements," he says and looks at you, "call Tom."

Lucas lets himself fall backwards and you run downstairs to open the door and then you pick up your cell phone that goes off and you answer it. Before you can say anything you hear Tom's frantic voice in your ear and you have to say his name a couple of times before he is silent.

"Y/N?"

"I'm fine."

"Really? And the baby?"

"The baby too, she hasn't done anything to me, Lucas shot her."

"What? He's not ...."

"No," you say, you don't want to hear the words, "no, he has been hit in the leg and shoulder and his head hurts, but he's ok, oh wait a minute, the police are here."

You place the phone against your chest and you run to the hall where you explain to the police that the perpetrator is dead, and at that time, an ambulance arrives and you point upstairs in order to indicate that they have to go there, that the victim needs urgent medical attention. They run up and you put the phone to your ear.

"Here I am again, the ambulance is here too, thank God."

"Jesus, y/n, when Lisa destroyed the laptop and I could no longer see you.....I've called you a hundred times but you did not answer, the most dreadful scenarios went through my head."

"I'm fine, I have nothing, thanks to Lucas, he saved my life and that of our child, again."

At that moment, the paramedics walk down the stairs with a stretcher on which Lucas is strapped on, wrapped in a heat blanket, oxygen mask over his nose and mouth and even a nekbrace around his neck. The condition he is in scares you and you walk up to him, you take his hand and while the paramedics walk to the ambulance, he looks at you. He removes the oxygen mask and licks his dry lips.

"Hey." he says softly.

"Hey." you answer.

"You and the baby okay?" he asks.

"Yes, thanks to you and you better get back on your feet too, preferable within two weeks because I am going to save a dance for you on my wedding."

Lucas smiles and squeezes your hand.

"Megan ..." he says.

"Yeah, I'll call Megan for you." you promis.

You suddenly hear Tom saying he wants to talk to him and you put the phone to his ear. Lucas listens, answers and smiles at some things Tom says to him. When he gets pushed into the ambulance you set a step backwards and you place the phone on your ear again.

"He'll be alright, will he?" Tom asks you.

"He better. I told him I'm saving a dance for him on our wedding."

"God, even I would dance with him but that would be a bit weird, wouldn't it?"

You laugh and close your eyes for a moment, thanking Tom for making you laugh in such a horrible situation and you hear him smile softly too. When the ambulance drives off, a policeman suddenly stands next to you and you lay the phone against your chest again.

"Madam, we called forensics and they are coming, the house will be marked with police ribbons as long as the investigation is ongoing. Is there someone you can call? Somewhere you can stay?"

You think for a moment, you don't want to go to a hotel and the only one that comes to your mind is Emma.

"Yes, I can call someone," the man nods and wants to walk away but you grab his arm and he looks at you, "the woman, she is dead?"

"Yes, Madam, the medical examiner is also coming. Did you know her?"

"Y/N!" you suddenly hear someone calling.

You turn around and to your surprise you see Milan jogging towards you.

"Y/N, are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm fine. Milan, what are you doing here?"

"Lucas came to see me after Lisa left that note under the windshield wiper of Tom's Jaguar. He wanted my opinion on things, when I heard on the police radio that there was a shooting and they said the adress....the ambulance, was Lucas in it? "

"Yes, his shoulder and his leg has been hit by a bullet and his head was bleeding."

"Jesus," he sighs and runs his hand through his hair, "and Lisa?"

"She's dead."

"Thank God. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Uh, well, you can take me to Emma, I can't stay here."

"Yes, of course, 

Then you hear Tom's voice, you had completely forgotten that he was on the phone and you bring it to your ear to tell him what happened and that Milan will take you to Emma. Tom thinks that's a good idea, he really doesn't want you to be alone right now, but also suggests that you let yourself and the baby be checked out at the hospital but you manage to convince him of the fact that you're both okay and he reluctantly ceases. You talk a bit before you say goodbye to him and you let Milan take you to Emma's house. Milan parks the car in front of the house and reaches you his hand to help you to get out. Because of all the consternation you completely forgot to dress yourself so your still in your top and shorts and barefeet and you wrap your arms around yourself but you can't surpress s shiver running through you from the cold. Milan notices it and takes off his jacket to lay it around your shoulders and you look at him thankfully while he presses the bell when you are standing at the door. Despite the late hour there is still light on inside and the door opens fairly quickly. Emma looks at you in surprise, but when she sees what you're wearing she instantly knows something is wrong and the surpise on her face makes way for worrie.

"Oh dear heavens, what happened to you?" she says.

She takes your hands and pulls you in and before you know it you start crying again and Emma draws you into a big hug. You try to keep your sobbing as quietly as possible because you know that Levi and Jason are sleeping upstairs while Emma's hands move over your back soothingly and you bury your face in her neck.

"Emma, who is ....." the words die on Dean's lips when he sees you.

"Dean, prepare the guest room and bring a blanket downstairs with you."

"Yes of course."

Dean goes upstairs and Emma looks at you.

"Come on, I will put some tea on, would you like that?"

You nod and Emma let's one hand move around your waist while the other keeps holding your hand and she steers you into the livingroom where she sits you on the couch and then she notices that Milan is still there and looks a little lost.

"Milan it was, right?"

"Right, madam."

"Call me Emma, and please sit down."

Milan nods and sits down in a chair while Emma walks into the kitchen to put on a kettle of water, when Dean is back you lay Milan's jacket next to you so he can lay the thick soft blanket around your shoulders and you pull it tightly around your still shivering body. Then you see a laptop on the table and when Emma sits down next to you, you look at her.

"The laptop, Tom and I, we were on Skype talking.... Lisa shot the laptop to pieces.....and later I talked to him on the phone but I would love to see him.... "

"Of course, sweetheart, I have Skype too, for talking to Sarah, for one."

Emma picks up the laptop and turns it on, she starts up Skype and to your relief, you see that Tom is online but before you can make a connection his face appears on screen.

"Oh darling, I'm so glad to see you," he says, and you can hear the relief in his voice but when he sees your tears tarnished face his eyes get a worried look,"are you really okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." you say softly.

"When you said you would go to Emma I remembered that she also has Skype and I was hoping you'd come."

He puts his hand on the screen and you do the same, for a few moments you just sit like that, silently looking at each other, happy, relieved.

"God, Tom....." you breath and before you know it fresh tears start falling from your eyes.

When Emma sets a steaming cup of tea before you, you wipe your tears with your hands and look at her thankful.

"Thank you." you say.

"Want me to fill a bath for you? So you can clean yourself?"

"That would be great." you say.

"Okay."

Emma walks away and she grabs Dean's hand while Milan also gets up but he looks at you when he's at the door.

"I am going to the hospital, to Lucas, I'll keep you updated."

"Thanks."

When you are alone you look at Tom again and see that he is still not assured.

"Are you really okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, really, nothing wrong with me, honey." you repeat.

"And Lisa is really dead?"

"Yes, Lisa is really dead." you sigh.

"How is Lucas?"

"I don't know, Milan just left to go to him."

"I also have good news, filming will be finished tomorrow."

"Seriously?" you say, suddenly awake.

"Yes, probably at the end of the afternoon, there is a party in the evening and I had doubts at first whether I should go there, you know how much I love parties but after what happened tonight, I will immediately take the first plane I can book to be with you when Guillermo has called cut for the last time."

"That would be really nice."

"I still can't believe Lisa really wanted too shoot you."

"Me neither, everything went so fast, after Lucas shot her the first time I tried to pry the weapon from her but suddenly she surged upwards and tried to shoke me, pushing me down and I just couldn't breath. Then Lucas shot her again, killing her."

"God, y/n, I just....I wish I could fast forward the time to tomorrow, I wish I was with you, that I could hold you, comfort you, anything."

"Me too, I miss you, I miss your arms around me, your closeness, the safety it gives me."

"I miss you too."

"When will you get here?"

"If I can get a flight at the beginning of the evening, the time difference counted, I'm can be with you halfway the evening."

"You want me to come pick you up?"

"Only if you want."

"Are you kidding? Of course, let me know what time and where and I'll be there."

"I will."

Then the door to the hall opens and Emma sticks her head inside.

"Your bath is ready." she says.

"Thank you."

For the first time since everything started, it is quiet around you and suddenly fatigue hits you, Tom sees it and smiles.

"Take your bath and then go to sleep, darling."

"That sounds like heaven." You sigh.

You say goodbye to him and turn the laptop off, then you walk upstairs and into the bathroom Emma sits on the edge and she looks at you.

"If you need anything during the night please do not hesitate to come to me."

You nod and Emma stands up and walks to the door.

"Emma," you say, and she turns around and looks at you,"thank you."

"Of course, my door is always open for family, day and night."

When Emma is gone you pull off your clothes and throw them in the laundry basket, you have no idea how to get the blood out of your top and to be honest you don't care either, the only thing you want is to take a long hot bath and to let the tensions flow out of your body. You carefully step into the bath and lower yourself until you sit and you put your head against the edge. You stay in as long as possible and when the water gets cold you step out slowly, you put a robe around your body and walk into the bedroom when you see something lying on the bed. It's a long nightshirt and you smile, thanking Emma for giving it to you. You change into it and lie in bed and before you know it your sleeping.

In the middle of the night your phone beeps to let you now that you have a message. You reach to it and open it and when you see that it is Milan you sit up straight and scan the message.

_Hi y/n,_

_Lucas just came out of surgery, they have first stitched the headwound and then they have taken the two bullets out of his leg and shoulder, because there were two bullets it took awhile and the surgeons had to stop internal bleedings and it was toch and go for a moment but they managed. According to the doctors he will still be sleeping for at least a day and the first couple of hours are crucial, but they say his vital signs are good. I will stay with him for as long as I can and I will keep you informed,_

_Greetings Milan._

You take a relieved breath and send a message to Tom to tell him Lucas wil probably be fine, then you write a note for yourself that you must call Megan the next morning to tell her what happened and eventually you lie down again to sleep some more.

The next morning you wake up from soft cooing noises and you open your eyes slowly to be greeted by two bright blue ones and small chubby fingers that stretch out for you. You smile, sit up and reach your hands to the little man who instantly crawls towards you. He slips into your lap and you lift him just to hold him and when his arms slip around your neck you look over his shoulder at Emma, smiling softly.

"I thought he could cheer you up." she says.

"Thank you, Emma, really, for everything."

"Dont mention it, y/n, did you manage to sleep a little?"

"Yes, actually I slept pretty well." you say.

You look at Levi in your lap who is now chewing on your fingers and makes soft happy noises.

"He missed you."

"I missed him too."

"Be careful, he is teething." Emma warns you.

"I feel it, yes," you say, and turn your head so you can look at Levi, "you're not going to bite me, are you?"

Emma laughs and Levi coos at you, glad and happy that he sees you again.

"Tom is coming back tonight." you say.

"Really? That's great." Emma says with enthusiasm.

"Yeah, he's not going to the party tonight, he wants to be with me after what happened yesterday."

"Of course he wants to be with you, he almost lost you and the baby, Are you coming down for breakfast?"

"Yeah, give me ten minutes." you say.

You give Levi to Emma who immediately starts whining a little bit that he gets lifted out of your reach.

"It's okay, you will see her again soon," Emma promises him and then looks at you again,"you can pick any clothing from my closet you want, we're about the same size."

Then she walks away and you walk into the bathroom to wash your face and when you're dressed you walk down to have breakfast. When your sitting on the couch after breakfast and Dean is at work, Jason at school and Levi is busy with his teething ring Emma sits down next to you.

"You don't have to tell me of course but what happened last night?"

You look at Emma, you'd rather not talk about it but Emma is your best friend and it might help to talk about it and you tell her everything, from the moment you heard something and walked out of your room until you stood on her doorstep. Also you tell her you've had a message from Milan that Lucas is probably going to be okay.

"That reminds me, I have to call Megan to tell her what happened."

"So I take it it's quite serious between her and Lucas?"

"Yeah, I guess."

You take your cellphone out and text Megan what happenend and that she needs to go to the hospital when she can but you also tell her that Lucas will be fine. She text you back thanking you and that she is glad you and the baby are okay too.

The rest of the day Emma lets you mess about a bit, playing with Levi, watching some TV, surfing the Internet. Despite the fact that are still some things that have to be arranged for the wedding she knows you've been through a lot yesterday evening and she wants to give you the opportunity to catch your breath and process everything. Also you get a message from Milan, he says that Lucas is now awake and that Megan is with him, fussing over him like a mother-hen, trying to make it as comfortable as possible for him, she seems very nice and genuinely interested in him, and he used that time to you call. He still gets painkillers because the pain is too strong to do without and the doctors want to keep him for at least four days. Towards the evening you say goodbye to her to go to the airport and you take a cab. In the cab you have contact with Tom via text messages and you agree to meet in the designated area where you were before you flew to Toronto. Normally you would not feel the need but after all that happened is you just want some time alone.

After someone from the airline left you in the designated area you walk to the windows that reach from floor to ceiling and you look outside. It is not long before you see Tom's plane land and when it is standing still and the door open your breath catches in your throat when you see him walk down the long staircase and towards a car, dressed in a hoodie and faded jeans, meanwhile waving to his fans but you can see from his face that his heart isn't in it, he lacks the sparkle in his eyes, his smile not as excited as normal. He also doesn't take the time for a chat, an autograph, a picture. You know he just wants one thing; to be with you as fast as possible. You see him stepping into a car and you follow it with your eyes until it disappears from view and your eyes go to the trunk that will bring him to you, you put your arms around your waist, eyes on the door and when it opens and Tom enters the area a sob escapes your throat. Tom turns his head in the direction of the sound and when your eyes lock you breathe in deeply and run towards him. Tom lets his suitcase fall to to the floor to catch you, and as soon as his arms close around you he pulls you firmly against him. You can't help but cry again while Tom lets one hand slowly move over your back while the other cups the back of your head and presses it against his sternum.

"It's okay, I'm here, I'm right here, I got you, darling." he whispers.

You feel how he presses a kiss on your head and you push yourself even closer to him, immersing yourself in his smell, his voice, his arms that give you the feeling that you're in a bubble of safety. When the tears stop, you look up and your eyes find his, they are a little damp and he smiles carefully at you. You let your fingers slip into his hair and you pull him down to kiss him and when your lips touch you sigh longinly, you missed his lips so much, moving perfectly against yours and the kiss soon becomes intense but then you pull back.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, I am now."

Tom smiles and takes you hand and when he wants to walk to his suitcase you squeeze his hand and he turns to you.

"What is it?" Tom asks.

"The baby, I felt it move again." you say.

"Really?"

Tom falls to his knees in front of you and moves up your shirt with one hand to let the other move over your bare skin to press a kiss on the slightly visable bump, the action sends a shiver through your body while your fingers slip in his hair and you give a tug on his curls, making him look at you.

"Come on, let's go home." you say.


	56. chapter 53

You walk to the exit but Tom's stopping you, and you look at him quizzically.

"I have arranged for the car to wait for us downstairs, of course, fans will be waiting for me wanting an autograph and a picture and normally I would have loved to give them those I'll do anything for them and they are very important to me, but you're more important."

"Are you sure? I don't want to keep you from your fans from."

"Hey, come here." he says.

He pulls you in his arms and rocks slowly back and forth with you.

"You don't keep me away from my fans, what you have experienced yesterday evening was dreadful and I want to be there for you, totally, completely"

When you sit in the cab Tom gathers you on his lap and you put your arms around his neck and your head on his shoulder while his hands reassuringly wander across your back. You thought you had cried all your tears yesterday evening but again you feel them burning behind your eyes and you close them making them fall down your cheeks.

"I'm sorry." you breath against his skin.

"It's ok, just let it out, just breathe, take deep breaths," Tom whispers in your ear,"I'm here, I'm with you, I've got you, darling."

You nod and concentrate on Tom's own breathing to calm down again, and eventually your sobs turns into hiccups and you look at him. The look in his eyes is caring, loving but also a little worried and you kiss his lips.

"Thank you." you say.

"Always, darling, always. God the last day seemed to last an eternity, all I wanted was to catch the next plane to be with you, I even wished for a moment I had Loki's astral power." he smiles.

"You're here now, that's what counts." you say and weave your fingers through his dark curls.

"And I'm staying with you. At least for six weeks."

"Oh, that sounds heavenly." you sigh.

"The cast gives you their best wishes, they're glad you're okay, especially Mia, she likes you, you've made an impression that night. She asked about you almost daily."

"She did?"

"Yeah, she really likes you."

"I like her too." you say.

Then you suddenly see a wet track runs down his face and you realize that he also has been crying and you wipe them away and give him a smile.

"Sorry, It was not my intention to make you cry."

"That's okay, I just can not stand it when your sad, breaks my heart."

You lean forward to kiss him and then he looks at you.

"How is Lucas?"

You tell him what Milan has wrote you and he is glad to hear that, you agree that, although you will be very busy this last week, you'll make some time to visit him. When the taxi stops in front of Emma's house the door opens to reveal a very excited Jason who immediately latches onto Tom's leg.

"Hey, buddy," Tom says, and lifts him up to put him on his hip, "and how are you?"

"Presents!" he shouts.

"Jason!" says Emma.

"No, he's right, I did promis him and his little brother presents. Is it alright if I do that tomorrow? I am very tired from the journey."

Jason's smile disappears from his face and Tom quickly presses a kiss on his cheek.

"If you're going to brush your teeth, put on your pajamas and go to sleep, I make sure that there will be gifts scattered on your bed when you wake up tomorrow, how does that sound?"

Jason's face lights up and he immediately starts to wobble in Tom's arms who quickly puts him on the ground and he runs straight to the stairs, grabbing Emma's hand to pull her along. You and Tom laugh at his behavior and when you walk into the living room you see Dean sitting on the couch.

"Hey, Tom, had a good flight?"

"Yeah, fine, just a little restless, I wanted to get to y/n as soon as possible."

"Of course."

"Thank you for taken care of her last night, again."

"That goes without saying, you are always welcome here, you know this."

"Yeah, but still, it also tosses your life upside down."

"With two small children it is always hectic here, we'll be fine," he laughs,"is there enything I can get you? A drink, something to eat maybe?"

"No, thanks, I think we are just going to go upstairs, jetleg and I just want to spent some time alone with y/n." he says while looking at you.

"Of course, I'll make sure Jason doesn't bother you in the morning."

"Oh speaking about that, in my suitcase in the hall there are some presents for him and Levi, could you maybe lay them around him before he wakes up? That should keep him busy for awhile."

"Of course."

"There's also something in there for you and Emma."

"You shouldn't have."

"Yes I should, you helped us so much and did so much for us, giving us a place to stay, and Emma being practically essential with arranging everything for the wedding...."

"Hey, that's what family does,"Emma says, walking into the room,"we're here for you."

Emma gives Tom a quick hug before you say goodnight and walk upstairs, you into the bathroom to change into your nightgown and when you come back Tom stands before the window looking out, hoodie already discarded on the chair leaving his upperbody covered with a white shirt, and he turns when he hears you coming. The nightgown reaches to about your knees and is soft blue in color with thin straps over your shoulders and a small bow on the neckline. Tom smiles and you blush.

"It's Emma's," you say, "my top was covered in blood."

"Come here." Tom says and reaches his hand to you.

You let your hand slide in his and he gives it a kiss before he takes you to the bed, he sits on the edge and pulls you on his lap, both legs on one side and one arm slips around his shoulder while his move around your waist.

"I have something for you." he says.

He slips a hand into his pocket to reveal a square box, it is a dark red velvet box and carries a symbol, two crossed rapiers, it looks expensive and you frown your eyebrows.

"What is this?"

"Open it."

You open the box and when you see the ring your breath falters in your throat and you do not know what to say.

"Do you like it?"

"It's gorgeous."

It is a sterling silver ring with three blue sapphires that sparkle in the light of the moon but you do not take it out of the box so Tom does that for you. He lays the box beside him on the bed and slides the ring on your still free ring finger.

"I told you that I did not wanted an expensive ring, I do not want to sound ungrateful, and it really is beautiful but ...."

Before you can finish your sentence Tom kisses you intense, his hand cups your cheek and he turns your face to deepen the kiss and you moan into his mouth.

"I know what you told me, darling, and I promise you I will never buy something so expensive for you ever again if you allow me to give you this, as a token of my eternal love for you and how gratefull I am that you are in my life."

"Must have cost you a fortune."

"You're worth it."

"I probably wouldn't even dare to wear it, too afraid that I would lose it."

Tom chuckles and looks at you.

"It's your wedding ring, so that means you have to give it to Ben so he can give it to me so that I can slide it around your finger and make you my wife."

"What about your mother's ring, then?"

"See that as your engagement ring, darling."

"And your ring?"

This time Tom reaches in his other pocket and the same box appears, you open the box and see three raised blue bands that circle the polished stainless steel band. You smile and you slide yours from your finger to lay it next to Tom's in the box. When he closes the box, he slides it back in his pocket and looks at you.

"I'll give them to Ben when we get together with dad to buy a suit."

"Talking about that, I called Elsa, I have written Chris' size down on a piece of paper, it's somewhere in our house."

"Is it still our house? Last time you didn't wanted to go back."

"Yeah well, there is one big difference with last time."

"Lisa wasn't dead, then."

"No, and she is now so to answer your question; yes, it is still our house although I have no idea in what state it is, so much happened that night that I....."

Thinking back to that night you start shivering and Tom tightens his grip aroudn your waist.

"It's okay,"he says and kisses your neck,"we'll deal with it when we get there."

"Can we do that after the honeymoon? I really don't feel like dealing with all that so close to the wedding."

"Of course, hold on."

Tom hooks his arm under your knees and stand up while walking around the bed with you in his arms, he gently lowers you down and lays the blanket over your frame and he gives you a kiss. He stands up straight and takes off his clothes while you lie on your side and follow every move he makes, his fingers that curl around the hem of his shirt and pull it off to toss it with his hoodie, revealing his muscular chest, fingers that loosen his trousers and push it off his hips before he steps out. He lies down next to you in bed and mirrors your position, fingers searching for yours and intertwining with each other. You both had imagined your reunion after three weeks being separated from each other differently than this but you both know that now is not the time.

"Go to sleep, darling." he whispers and presses a kiss on your forehead.

"No," you say and crawl towards him to wrap your arms around his neck pushing yourself up against him and you feel his snake around your waist,"I just.....I need to feel you, your arms around me, your breath on my skin, I need to know your really here."

"I am really here and I'm not going anywhere, my darling."

 

The rest of the week is spent surfing on the web with Tom for things for the baby, a crib, stroller, car seat, bath, a closet for clothes and addresses of stores are written down. It take at least five months before the baby is born so for now, you have plenty of time. You also visit Lucas in the hospital and are relieved to see that he has no more drip and can just walk around, you quickly notice that Megan still worries about him and you think it's sweet to see how caring she is with him and oddly enough, Lucas seems to enjoy it. 

"So are they going to give you a deskjob untill your arm works again?" you ask.

"I guess, but before I can go back to work I first have to wait until the result of the internal investigation is finished. "

"Internal investigation? What for?"

"I killed a woman, y/n."

"And thus saved my life and my baby." you say upset, not wanting to get Lucas into trouble just because he saved you and your baby.

"I know, and my superior fully supports me but an internal investigation is standard procedure within the force with events like this." he explains.

"Okay, if you want me to talk to your superior, to explain to him that you could not do otherwise ..."

"No that wont be nessecary, my story is enough, as I said, my superior stands behind me."

After Tom has extensively thanked him again that he has saved the lives of you and your baby you say goodbye after you made them promis to come to your wedding. Emma meanwhile keeps busy arranging small things for the wedding, and when you're all sitting in the living room late one evening that weekend the doorbell rings. Dean stands up to open and when he comes back, you look surprised.

"What is that?" you ask.

"A mailbag full of mail for you and Tom."

"What?"

Tom laughs and when Dean sets the mailbag before you Tom leans forward to look into it and suddenly he gets up and grabs the bag.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

Tom walks to the middle of the room and holds the mailbag upside down and dumps the whole content on the floor. 

"Emma, can you collect all the stuffed animals and put them in Levi's box? I will find all the letters, Dean can you pick out the drawings?"

"Of course."

"What about me?"

"You can look." Tom says.

While they go to work quietly the box of Levi steadily becomes more filled with all kinds of stuffed animals and you see Loki comes by in all sizes and types. Also in terms of drawings Loki is the favorite, the one more beautiful than the other but also the stack of letters becomes very large. Tom lays them on the couch next to you and occasionally you grab one to read. The first few letters are about fans saying how much the enjoy Tom's movies and how they hope he stays in acting for a long time. There are also letters in which fans congratulate you with the pregnancy and the wedding and they hope you'll be very happy together. Then you see a envelope that is addressed to you and Tom, and you frown your eyebrows, you open it and fold it open to read. The more you read the more you are moved by what the fan writes and you have a lump in your throat by the time your finished. To your surprise there are more letters from fans in which they express their concern after seeing you on the airport but in none of the letters is asked what is going on, only that they hope it will be all right and that they are thinking about you and your baby.

"Tom," you say, and he looks at you,"some of your fans saw our quick exit from the airport, they are worried about me, they want to know if everything is alright."

You give him one of the letters, and he starts reading, gradually there appears a smile on his lips and his eyes soften, he sits next to you on the couch and looks at you.

"Does that surprise you?"

"I don't know, the last time they were not so positive about me."

"I know, but now that we are getting married and your pregnant they realize how serious I am about you, about us and they know that if your not happy, I'm not happy."

It takes the rest of the night to finish but finally everything is sorted, the toys in the box, the letters on the couch and the drawings on the ground.

"Where do we leave all this?" you ask.

"One of the rooms in our house?" Tom suggests.

"Yes, that's possible."

"It is not up to me of course but I think you should frame this and hang it up." Dean says suddenly.

He holds up a drawing and your mouth drops open in astonishment.

"Oh my God, is that a drawing?" Tom says.

He takes over the drawing from Dean and you have to admit it's stunning, it's from one of the photos from the photo shoot, in which Tom stands behind you and your hands are intertwined are on you stomach while Tom kisses your temple and you look into the lens.

"This is unbelievable." you say in awe.

"It really is." Tom agrees with you.

"We are defenitly framing this and hanging it." you say.

"Are there any more like these?"

"Well, there are some pretty amazing ones."

Dean passes along the drawings and you place them on your lap.

"God, there have to be like, hundreds of them." you laugh.

"Hm, to much to go through now, why don't we do that another time?"

"Good idea."

Tom takes your hand and pulls you upright to walk upstairs, you walk into the bedroom and feel two arms slipping around your waist and he pulls you into his chest while he kisses your neck. You tilt your head to give him more space and the soft light kisses quickly turn into sucking and biting. Your arm goes up and your fingers disappear into his hair while you turn your head to kiss him and when his hand dips under your shirt and slides up to cup your breast your arch against his touch.

"I need you." it sounds in your ear.

"Well, I'm right here."

Tom moans in his throat and pushes up your shirt to pull it off you, his fingers draw a trail over your body and he opens up your pants and pushes it from you hips. When it pools around your ankles you step out while Tom cups your breasts, massaging them while he pushes his body up against yours and you feel his erection poking into your back. His hands remain fondling your breasts while he slowly pushes you forward but ensures that your bodies remain touching.

"Lie down on your stomach, darling."

Without hesitation, you do what he says and you slide your hands under the pillow and lay your head sideways and you look at him over your shoulder. He puts his knees on the bed and slowly creeps over your smaller frame, caging you with his hands and knees, until he can give you a kiss on your cheek.

"You are so lovely." he says.

He pushes your hair aside and kisses your neck, your shoulders, the spot between your shoulder blades and you shudder slightly, laying your head on the pillow and closing your eyes. Tom smiles against your skin and his lips go lower until he comes to your bra, you feel his fingers at your closure and he opens it, sliding aside the straps he kisses every piece of skin which he reveals.

"So beautiful and all mine."

His lips move lower and he pauses when he reaches the band of your underpants and leans back so that he can curl his fingers around the band and slowly he pulls it down over your buttocks. You raise your hips so he can take it off, and when he has thrown it beside the bed his lips slowly kiss their way upward over your leg while his hand carresses your other leg. It glides over the curve of your buttock and you give a slight jerk when he sinks his teeth into your other buttock.

"God, Tom..."

"I'm sorry, I could not resist."

"That's okay, it felt kinda nice." you say.

"Really?" he says.

He repeats the action with your other buttock and your reaction is the same, then he strokes with his tongue over it to ease the pain somewhat. 

"Turn around."

You do what he says and Tom bends over you while he settles between your legs and kisses you on your lips. You smile against his mouth and let your hands disappear in his hair. Tom lets his kisses go downwards, your neck, your collarbone, your breasts. 

''Tom ...'' you whisper.

He looks at you and leans back over you to capture your lips in a soft and tender kiss and both your breaths catches in your throat when the tip of his erection makes contact with your clit and your hips rise off the bed. His lips plant a soft trail of kisses down your body and he takes your nipple between his teeth to give a gentle tug. Then he lets his tongue soothingly go over it. His hand slides down while his lips give your other breast the same treatment. You shove your fingers in his hair and fists it tightly as he caresses the inside of your thigh. Moaning you bucks your hips up and feel Tom smiling against your skin and when he dips his tongue in your navel you chuckle. He leans forward and pushes your legs further apart and a shaky breath escape your lips as you feel his fingers at your folds and his thumb finds your clit easily.

''You're so wet.'' He growls.

Tom lets his thumb brush over your clit one more time and then covers your body with his. He places his hands besides your head and kisses your lovingly. When you feel his arousel brush against your sensitive clit you roll your hips up, trying to find the friction that you so need. Tom lets his hand disappear between your bodies and takes himself in his hand.

''Wrap your legs around my waist.'' Tom instructs.

You do what he says and you feels he lines his arousal up against your opening. He rolls his hips slightly forward and you feels the tip disappear inside you. He rolls his hips again, sliding in further slowly. Tom searches for your clit and lets his finger rotate around it while he pulls a little out of you and then rolls forward again, moaning at the feeling of you around him and he lets his head fall on your shoulder. Tom repeats the movement several times and each time pulls himself a little further out of you and then pushes back in deeper. You begin to move along in the same rhythm and soon you have a pattern, Tom pulling out and rolling forward and you roll your hips up each time to meet his thrusts. Tom lets his hand slip under your buttocks and pushes it up with each thrust inward.

''You feel amazing around me,'' he groans and kisses your jaw,"the way you move underneath me, with me."

Suddenly Tom drags the tip of his erection over your bundle of joy and it feels so good that you moan loudly.

''Sshhh, we are not alone.'' he whispers.

''Sorry, but it felt so good.''

Tom grins and tilts his hips slightly to ensure that he scrapes over that bundle with every inward thrust. You close your eyes and allow yourself to be engulfed in the pleasure he gives you. For some time the sound of skin clapping against skin and breathy moans are the only sounds in the room. Tom grabs the headboard with his hand so he can push into your harder and faster while he leans down to kiss you before his lips trail a path to your neck and shoulder and your fingers slip in his hair, tugging it.

''Yes.'' you moan into his ear.

You feel a warm feeling in your abdomen and you know you are close, you bury your face in his neck and blindly reach for his hand. Tom takes it, lacing your fingers together and lays them next to your head.

''Are you close?''

''So close, please.''

Tom thrust a few times hard and deep inside you, you throw your head back while Tom pushes inside you with long strokes and back out again. He bites your neck harder then he wanted and almost breaks your skin making you moan, knowing he will leave a mark but you do not care, you want to be marked by him, claimed by him. When he feels how your walls contract around him his thrusts become uncontrolled. One last thrust and Tom also reaches his climax, spilling his seed deep inside you. Afterwards Tom lies on his back and your nestled close to him. Your head lies on his chest and the last thing you remember are his fingers, sliding gently up and down over your side, before you fall asleep.

your ring-> http://www.mygoldenrings.com/gemstone/14k-white-sapphire-diamond-0.html

Tom's ring-> http://www.buybluesteel.com/collections/blue-rings/products/skyfall-triple-blue-ip-band-silver-stainless-steel-men-s-ring#description


	57. chapter 54

The next day you go to your house to look for the note with Chris size and when you stand in front of the door you hesitate. There's still a yellow ribbon around the house but the technical detectives have finished investigating the house so you can look around.

"You do not have to do this, I can go inside alone." Tom says and squeezes your hand gently.

"No, it's okay, we are faster together."

Tom nods and opens the door, together you walk inside and when you walk into the living room your breath falters with the disarray you see. Clear signs of a fierce struggle, everywhere are papers and the coffee table is damaged irreparably, the rug beneath it shifted. Also the couch is toppled over and one of the fautteuls is pushed against the wall and cushions are scattered on the ground. Luckily you have found the note quickly and give it to Tom, he puts it in his pocket and takes you back to the car, he lets you get in and then goes sitting himself. He drops you off at Emma's and gives you another kiss before asking if you have a preference for a certain color for his suit or dress shirt but you tell him that your dress is white. You do say that the dresses of the bridesmaids are cream and that it might be nice if the suits of the best men also have something in that color, just a little touch. Tom nods and he drives off to pick up Ben and James. At the end of the day, Tom gives the rings to Ben and says that he has to guard them with his life, something he promises to do.

Halfway through the week, the police tells you that the house has been released but you and Tom decide to stay with Emma, you will leave for the honeymoon right after the wedding so there is no hurry.

And then there's the issue of your first dance as husband and wife and when you are wondering where you can practice Emma suddenly mentions that a friend of hers has a dance studio in the city which is currently being rebuild but that she probably has a room for you and when you can you practice there. As you suspected Tom is a great teacher, and you apparently a quick learner and you pick up the dance moves quickly and soon you whirl over the dance floor in his arms.

On Friday, you and Tom visit the gynecologist for an ultrasound and she is satisfied with the condition of the child. The pregnancy is halfway, and the baby now has half the length that it is likely to have at birth, approximately 25 centimeters. The gynecologist indicates that you can feel your child now for the first time and when you indicate that you occasionally feel it she smiles. She asks if you've had problems, pain or bleeding and you tell her that this is not the case. She also asks if you want to know the sex but when you both say no she nods. Finally she prints an echo out for you, which you take and when you give it to Tom his breath falters in his throat. You can see him so clearly, his head, little body, legs, arms, even his fingers and toes you can see vaguely.

You have also called the Brook House if it is okay if you already bring some things over on Friday, the wedding dress and the dresses for the bridesmaids and suits for Tom and his best men and because you don't want to take Emma away from the kids even more you arrange that Ben and Sophie go with you together with James and Diana. When everyone is present and the dresses and suits are in the cars you take your leave of Dean, Emma and the children, and you walk to the car with Diana and Tom and when he wants to get in next to you Diana suddenly grabs his wrist and stops him.

"Not you." she says.

Tom stands up and looks at her questioningly.

"Y/N's wedding dress is in that car." she says.

"In an untransparent cover." Tom retorts.

"I don't care, your not getting anywhere near that dress." Diana says sternly.

Tom laughs and wants to protest but you take his hand and look at him.

"It's okay." you say and give him a kiss before he sits down in the car with Ben and Sophie.

During the ride you and Tom constantly interact over the phone until Diana takes it away and you look at her.

"Can you really not do without each other for a moment?" she says, but you can hear the smile in her voice.

After a drive of about an hour and a ferry of two hours a short drive to Brook House follows and when you arrive there, the owner, Delani, is waiting for you. She hands you the keys of the cottages and while Ben James and Tom hang the suits in one house your wedding dress and the dresses for the bridesmaids are hung in another cottage and Diana immediately baptizes it to her cottage so she can personally ensure that the chance that Tom sees your dress is minuscule. After the other cottages have been inspected and you are satisfied it is halfway through the night and you and your Tom have retreated to the garden where you sit on a bench, Tom astride it and you between his legs, your own legs throws over one of his and your side against his chest. Your head is tucked under his chin and his fingers slowly carres your arm, and you gaze at the stars.

"Just think about it, this time tomorrow you will be my wife and we will be celebrating our marriage." he whispers in your ear and you shiver at the thought.

Tom nuzzles his nose against your cheek and you turn your head up to kiss him, when someone clears his throat you look up and see Ben and Sophie standing.

"Diana has made an arrangemend of the cottages, you and Tom No. 1, Ben and I number 2, Emma number 3, Sarah number 4, Chris and Elsa number 5 and number 6 Diana and James. Diana choose the cottage furthest away from yours so that Tom will be at all times nowhere near your dress and Tom, I had to urgently say to you that if Diana as much as sees you near it that you'll regret it dearly."

"I'm sure I will." Tom chuckles.

"The suits are in our cottage and in the cottages where Emma and Elsa will be we have put high chairs and boxes for their kids."

"Thank you, Sophie."

"Set your alarm clock for nine o'clock tomorrow morning, the stylist will be here then to do your hair and take care of your makeup, she will be waiting for you in Diana's cottage."

"Okay, I'll set the alarm."

"And we seem to have forgotten something." Sophie says.

"What?" you ask and becomes slightly panicked.

"Calm down, nothing serious, but this late the ferry doesn't go back anymore." Ben says.

"Oh, God, Sophie, you scared me." you say, hand over your heart.

"Sorry, but it seems that we are stuck here."

"Oh, I can imagine worse places to be stuck at and worse company." Tom says and he leans down to kiss you.

"Right, well, we'll leave you alone then." Ben says and together with Sophie he leaves you.

The kiss continues and eventually becomes very passionate and intense and breathless you break the kiss and Tom gives you a little kiss on your forehead.

"So what do you want to do on your last night as a bachelor?" you ask.

"Oh, I can think of something." he says.

He has a smirk on his face but all of a sudden you see flashlight and you blink your eyes, your heads turning towards the light, expecting to see Diana but your eyes get wide when you see some girls standing.

"Can I help you?" Tom asks.

"Sorry, but we are fans and we saw you driving this afternoon, we were wondering if we could get to you."

"Oh okay." Tom says hesitantly.

"Tom, they're not supposed to be here." you whisper.

"It's okay, they're just fans."

"Could we maybe get an autograph?"

"Of course."

The girls come towards you and Tom stands up to meet them and begins to give them autographs, you feel very uneasy when they start giggling and whispering to each other and when one of the girls looks at you almost haughtily you can't help but look away. You hope they go away after Tom gave them an autograph but when one of the girls starts a conversation with him you know that hope has evaporated and when the girls form a half circle and separate you from Tom you suddenly feel very alone.

"You know, I going to go to our cottage." you say.

"I'm going with you." Tom says.

"Oh, stay for a while," one of the girls says and lays a hand on his arm, a gesture which does not escape you, "fifteen minutes for pictures."

Tom looks at you and you shrug, indicating that it doesn't matter although you had of course prefered to spent this evening alone with Tom. You sigh and turn to walk to your cottage, right before you reach the end of the garden you hear the girls laugh at something Tom says and when you reach your cottage you walk inside, close the door and lean against it, sighing. You know that Tom does everything for his fans and you would never want to deprive him of time with his fans but it hurts you that on the eve of your wedding his fans are placed above you. You look at your ring, you engagement ring and turn it before putting on your nightgown. You sit down on the couch to wait for him but a quarter becomes a half hour and that half hour becomes an hour and finally, after an hour and a half you decide to go to bed. It's only nine thirty but without Tom there is not much you can do.

When you hear a door close you come up and you see Tom walking towards the bed.

"Why are you in bed?" he asks.

"Because the only one that I wanted to spent the evening with bailed on me." you say.

"You could have gone to Sophie, or mom."

"Well, I'm not getting married to Sophie or your mom tomorrow now am I?"

"What?"

"Nothing, forget it." you say.

You push the blanket away from you and slip out of bed but before you can take a step Tom grabs your wrist and pulls you back on the bed.

"Let me go." you say.

"No, I want to know why you're acting this way."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, they were just some fans nothing important."

"Well, they were important enough to place above me."

"You really see it like that?"

"How else am I supposed to see it? On one side there are your fans and on the other side me, your fiancé but apparently not important enough, you know, those girls would have survived it if you would have sent them away, but no, you wouldn't dream of it because you're much too much of a gentleman for that."

You pull your arm out of Tom's grip and walk to the window to look outside, arms wrapped around your body. In the window you can see that Tom stands behind you but he remains at a distance, hands in his pockets not knowing how to react and you sigh before you turn around and look at him.

"You probably see this very different then me, women dream their whole lives of their wedding day, how they fill it, the perfect dress, the perfect location, the guests, the food, the pictures, everything has to be perfect,"you sigh and rub the bridge of your nose,"normally I would not make such a problem of it and I would even applaud it that you spend time with your fans but it's the eve of our marriage, Tom, an evening that will never come back and that I wanted to spend alone with you."

"You could have said something."he says.

"God Tom, that's not the point." you say in despair.

You turn around and close your eyes, therefore you do not notice that Tom gets closer and you are startled when you feel his arms around your waist and his lips in your neck.

"You're right, you're absolutely right and l'm so terribly sorry that I'm such a huge asshole." he says and he continues to kiss your neck while his fingers caress your hips.

"You are not ..."

"Yes, I should have stayed with you," his hands search yours and he entwines his fingers with yours while biting softly in your neck, "tell me what to do to make it right."

"Oh, you doing quite well yourself." you say and tilt your head to give him more space. 

Suddenly he lifts you bridal style and you give a little shriek. Tom takes you to bedroom and lays you down gently. While his lips kiss your neck his hands slip under your shirt and you come up so he can pull it off you. You make use of the situation by also pulling off his shirt and throw it away. The kiss continues and blindly you reach for his trouser and impatiently you open it and push it from his hips together with his boxer. Tom pushes you back into the mattress so he can pull of your slip and leans over you and when you feel the tip of his erection ghost over your clit you moan in each other's mouths. He slowly pushes it inside you and when it is completely inside he pauses, breathing deep before he slowly begins to thrust. You push your head in the pillow and Tom kisses and bites your shoulder gently, being careful not to leave any traces that will be seen when you're wearing your wedding dress. You hands wander over his back and eventually end up on his buttocks, you squeeze it gently and Tom's hips jerk forward, touching your bundle of joy and your mouth drops open in a perfect 'O'. The thrusts go slightly faster and when you feel a tingle in your stomach you repeat the action and Tom jerks again and repeatedly touches your bundle of joy. You feel his fingers slide down over your side and he finds your clit and let his fingers play with it until you reach a climax. When feeling your muscles gripping him like a vice, he falls over the edge. His hips jerk a few times before his head drops on your shoulder and he gasps of effort. He rolls away from you and draws you close to him, you crawl against his side and rest your head on his chest, his fingers slowly carressing your arm.

"It was never my intention to make you feel like you're not important to me. There will never be anyone in my life that will be more important than you," he says and kisses your head, "you are my number one, now and forever, you and the baby."

"I know and I'm sorry for how I reacted, it wasn't fair towards you."

"Just promis me that if you're ever mad at me again you tell me, I want to know it if I did something wrong and what it was I did so it will never happen again, okay?"

"Okay." you promis.

"Just keep talking to me."

"I will."

The next morning you wake up early from the alarm clock, you had set it at half past seven because you know that when you will leave Tom you will not see him again untill in the church so you make the most of the preliminary farewell, enjoying an extensive breakfast in bed and then a long shower together where Tom pushes you up against the wall and takes you slowly and after you end up rolling across the bed in each other's arms, laughing, kissing and caressing. Then an alarm goes off which indicates that you have to say goodbye, and when you loosen yourself from his embrace he takes your hands. 

"Stay here, I have something for you." he says. 

Tom walks to the closet where his bag is and he pulls a rectangular box out, he holds it before you and you open it, when you see what's inside your breathing hitches. It is a silver necklace with a diamond. 

"Tom ..." 

"No, I do not wanna hear about that I promised to buy you no more expensive items after the wedding ring but I saw it lying in the window display and I immediately had to think of you, and nothing is too expensive for you, my darling, you deserve the very best of everything the world has to offer." 

Tom closes the lid and places it in your hand before he looks at you. 

"Promise me you'll wear it during the ceremony." 

"Of course." 

You lean forward and kiss him, Tom's arms go around your waist and he pulls you closer to him, the kiss soon becomes intense and when you want to loosen yourself from him, Tom suddenly is being very reluctant to let you go and you squirm in his arms and manage to turn around but his arms tighten around your waist, trapping you against his chest.

"I don't want you to leave." he whispers against your skin.

"It's only for four hours."

"And what am I supposed to do in those four hours in which you are being made beautiful, which really isn't necessary if you ask me."

"I don't know, honey, you can go to the edge of the city to welcome the guests, make sure that everything is arranged in the church." your suggest.

"That's Ben's job, he's my best man."

"Then go help him, there will be many guests."

Then there is a knock on the door and you and Tom look up.

"Go away!" Tom yells.

"Come on in!"

The door opens and you see Ben and James standing in the doorway.

"Oh, hi," you say, "little help please."

James and Ben laugh as they walk up to you.

"What is going on?" James asks.

"Oh, your son is suddenly very affectionate."

"Is he now?" James chuckles.

He walks around you and both your eyes follow him, then he unexpectedly seizes Tom's side and Tom yelps by the sudden treatment and his arms loosen their grip around your waist. Ben grabs your hand and pulls you out of his embrace and urges you towards the door.

"Run, quickly!" he shouts.

Laughing you run out the door towards Diana's cottage, vaguely hearing Tom calling his dad a traitor. The visagiste is already there, along with Emma and her cosmetics are scattered over the table.

"Sorry I'm late." you say apologetically.

"That's okay, you're here now." Diana says.

"Where are Dean and the kids?"you asks Emma.

"In the garden,"she says and looks at the box in your hands,"what's that?"

"Oh, that's something Tom just gave me, he wants me to wear it during the ceremonie."

You open the box and let Emma see what's inside.

"Wow." she says.

"That is beautiful." Diana once.

You sit in the chair and the visagiste starts with your make-up. It takes longer than you expected, and when you're finally satisfied there's a knock on the door, Diana opens it and she lets out a small scream making you look up.

"Sarah." you say.

You get up and walk up to her to give her a hug.

"Watch your make-up!" Diana calls.

You release her smiling and look at her.

"Where is Yukov?"

"With Dean and the kids, my God your really glowing." she says.

You blush and walk back to the chair where the visagiste gives you a book to watch how you want your hair. As you browse through it Sarah and Emma sit next to you to watch and help you to make a choice. You find it very difficult and suddenly remind yourself that Tom likes it the most when you have your hair loose. Because you have a veil, the visagiste suggests to make a small bun of a few tufts of hair to attach the veil and to turn the rest into corkscrew curls. You nod and sit down and while your hair is being done Sarah sits down next to you so that you can talk to her. You tell her about the pregnancy and that it goes well with you and that your baby is growing properly and tell her that you and Tom are going to India to spend the honeymoon.

"Really? Why don't you stay in my house? Yukov and will stay here for at least three weeks to spend time with Dad, Mom and Emma."

"You would let us stay in your house for two weeks?" you ask.

"Of course I would, your family, nuestra casa es su casa." she says.

"That's very sweet of you, but we are going to New Delhi. We'll come to Chennai when you and Yukov are there."

"Okay."

"Oh, Emma, I have a picture of the last echo in my bag, which is still in my cottage, would you want to go get it so I can show it to Sarah?"

"Of course."

When Emma comes back you notice that she is not alone when you look at her in the mirror and you see Elsa and Chris standing beside her, both of them have a little one sleeping on their arm and Chris has a little girl on the hand.

"Hey, how nice to see you! Such a beautiful family." you say.

"Hey, y/n, how is everything going?"

"Well, make-up is done and now my hair is being done."

"I see that."

You look at India again and see that the little girl looks nervously around her.

"Dean is in the garden with Levi and Jason, if India wants some company of her own age, you have cottage number five, there are cots for the twins there if you want to put them down for a nap." Diana says.

"Great, the twins are a little fussy after the long trip so that's a good idea."

They say goodbye to you and the make-up artist continues with your hair, and when you look sideways, you see that Sarah looks at the ultrasound, smiling.

"Astonishing, isn't it?" you ask.

"Yes, really incredible that this little person is growing inside your stomach, a little person which is even family of me," she lays the ultrasound on the dresser and looks at you, "you will be really fantastic parents. God, I can almost not believe that my little brother is really going to be a father. "

"I can also not believe it sometimes, since the moment we voiced our feelings for each other, which is only five months ago, everything happened so quickly and look at me now, four months pregnant and about to get married."

"It does not surprise me, Tom is crazy about you, always has been. You deserve this, I know you want all guests to enjoy their time but this is your day, enjoy it too."

You nod and when the visagiste is done it is about half past eleven and you decide to eat something first. Diana suggests to buy some sandwiches with Emma so you can eat them in the cottage.

"Why?" you ask, not understanding why you should stay inside.

"Because I do not want Tom to see you."

"But I'm not wearing my dress yet."

"I know, but when he sees you it will take forever before you are pried loose from each other, sweetheart."

You smile and Emma and Diana leave to get some sandwiches while you get your dress and you hang it on the edge of the closet, you open the zipper and gently pull the dress out slightly.

"It's beautiful, y/n, you will be a stunning bride."

"Thank you."

"And as soon as Tom sees you, he's going to cry."

"Emma said the same thing." you laugh.

"And she's right."

After lunch, Sophie joins you to get into her dress together with Emma and when they are ready they help you in your dress. It is not a complicated process and you are dressed quickly, finally Sophie attaches the veil to your bun before you pull your shoes on and eventually Diana gives you the bridal bouquet. You turn yourself around and look at your reflection, you can not suppress a smile and compliments about how beautiful you look go slightly past you but when you realize that Diana, Sarah and Emma walk up to you you look at them.

"What?" you ask.

"There is still something we need to do." Diana says.

"What's that?" you ask.

"Well, we are going to do this poperly so you need something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue." Sarah says.

"Something old and borrowed you already have, namely my ring."

"And also something new, the necklace Tom gave you." Emma says and takes it out and while you hold up your hair she closes it around your neck.

"And something blue." Sarah says and holds up a square box for you to open and when you do you have to laugh.

"A garter?" you say.

"Yes, with the outfit of every bride there should be a garter and don't worry, Tom doesn't have to slide it from your leg with his teeth during the party as you sometimes see in those clips, save that for the wedding night." she says.

You give Sarah your bouquet and pick up the garter to slide it around your thigh. Just when you've let down your skirt there is a knock on the door, Diana first asks who it is and when James says that he comes to see how far the bride is she opens the door and lets him in. When you turn yourself around you see that James is not alone, Chris and Ben are with him and they look at you admiringly.

"You are absolutely gorgeous, y/n." James says.

"Thank you."

"Tom is one bloody lucky guy." Chris adds and Ben nods in agreement.

Then James walks up to you and takes your hands.

"You know you've always been a part of our family, but it is our honor to your officially welcome you into our family. Well, are you ready to marry your fiancé?"

"Oh my god." you say suddenly.

"What's wrong?" Emma asks.

"I'm getting married." you say.

"Yes, with the man of your dreams."

"Yes, I....oh god....." you feel yourself become warm and begin to pace the room, "I do not feel so good."

"Oh no, you're not going to throw up, are you?" Diana asks.

"No...I don't know, I suddenly feel lightheaded, I need...."you wave your hand in front of your face, trying to cool yourself down.

"What do you need? Tell me what you need and I'll make sure you get it." Diana says, and she takes your hands.

"Tom....," you say and look at her,"I need Tom."

"Oh sweetheart, Tom isn't allowed to see you just yet."

"I know, but....." you pull your hands out of Diana's and take a few deep breaths but to no avail, "I just need to hear his voice."

Emma then takes your hand and leads you to the couch.

"Sit down," she says and you do so, she sits in front of you on her heels and takes your hands, noticing your palms are sweaty,"it's okay, just take deep breaths, dad will get him for you."

"Emma ..." Diana begins.

"He can stay on the other side of the door, it's just his voice she needs to hear, right?"

"Right, it always calms me down." you whisper.

"Dad?"

"I'll get him."

You nod grateful to him and when he's gone you look at Diana.

"I promise that I will not show myself to him."

She nods and stands up just like Emma and Sophie do.

"We'll leave you guys alone." Sophie says, and before Diana can protest Sarah takes her out of the cottage.

Sophie takes Ben's arm and Chris offers Emma his arm which she accepts smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh dear, the reader is having some weddingjitters, can Tom calm her down?


	58. chapter 55

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so let's see it Tom can calm you down

When they are gone you again start pacing around the room, and when you hear your lover's voice saying your name you lift up your dress to avoid tripping over it and you run to the door that is slightly ajar. You lay your hands against the wood and breathe a sigh of relief.

"Tom..."

"I heard your having a little situation."

"Yes, I suddenly didn't feel so good."

"The baby?" he asks worriedly.

"No, I suddenly realized what was about to happen and I got really nervous and jittery and when I get like that there is only one person who can calm me down and that's you."

"Well, I'm right here and happy to help although I already was on my spot in the church so I hope the guests don't get to alarmed when they saw me rushing out."

"God, what will they think." you say.

"That doesn't matter, all that matters is us."

You nod and smile.

"Hold my hand?" you ask and stick your arm through the gap.

"Of course, darling."

Tom weaves your fingers together and plants soft kisses on your forearm and you shiver from the touch.

"And should I not be the one to be a nervous wreck?"

"Why are not you then?"

"Because after we spent those three days together at your place I knew that you were the one and only for me, my destiny, the one with whom I was meant to be together and that no matter what I would make my wife one day, it did not care how long it would take as long as it would end with you and me as husband and wife and a couple of kids running around. "

"Really?"

"Yes, we have been through so much together, y/n, first with your pregnancy, the nausia and the cramps, then everything Lisa threw at our feet and then your accident and we needed to get to know each other all over again and I had to win your heart again. I haven't doubted for a moment that you would be mine again and, we have come so far, darling, I will not allow some nerves to ruin this day, our day,"he says, and he pauses to plant kisses on your arm again,"I wish I could see the rest of your, my sisters are convinced that I'm going to cry when I see you."

"I know, but you really shouldn't because if you're going to cry, I will also cry and then my makeup will run and I have no idea where my visagiste is, and ...." your breath suddenly hitches in your throat and you feel how Tom plants kisses on your arm again.

"It's okay, I'm with you, I'm right here, focus on my voice, darling, close your eyes and listen to my voice."

You close your eyes to concentrate fully on his touch and voice and slowly feel the tension flowing out of your body.

"Thank you," you say and on a whim you pull his hand through the gap and kiss his hand wherever you can reach, you hear him chuckling and and you smile against his skin,"I love you."

"I love you too, darling. Dad is coming, I must return to my place in the church, just remember, when you feel the nerves coming back during the walk down the aisle, look at me, focus on me, I will help you through this, okay? Nobody else matters today, it's just you and me."

"Just you and me."

"I'll see you soon, my bride."

You feel and see how his fingers slip out of yours and seconds later James stands before you, he smiles and reaches out his arm that you take and together your walk to the church. Chris and Emma and Sophie and Ben are already standinf ready behind the doors and you and James go standing behind them. After they have walked the aisle you wait until the organ is playing before you and James also begin the walk down the aisle.

During your first steps down the aisle you concentrate fully on walking in synch with James so you do not notice that all eyes are focused on you and when you carefully look up you first see no familiar faces, probably aunts, uncle's, nephews and nieces of Tom, but halfway you suddenly see Lucas and Megan sitting and slightly further the full cast of The Avengers with their significant others and you're very happy that they all came and when you do realize that you have the full attention of everybody in the church you feel the nerves emerge again. Then your eyes wander to the end of the aisle, to Tom who is waiting for you, with shoes that are shining, black trousers with a single stripe on the side, a starched collared shirt, a white waistcoat, a white bow tie and he looks absolutely gorgeous and you wonder what you did to deserve a wonderful and amazing man like that but you don't care because all that matters is that after this, he really is yours alone. When your eyes make contact with the bright blue ones of your future husband, big smile on his face, you feel the nerves instantly vanish like snow before the sun. You can't help but smile too while James walks the last meters with you to his son. When your stand in front of the increase you turn yourself to him and with a smile he gently lays your veil back so that your face is revealed and he gives you a kiss on the cheek before he sits down next to Diana. You turn around, and take the hand that Tom reaches out to you, and he helps you up and when you look at him your see a path the tears have made on his face.

"You are absolutely radiant, darling." he whispers, voice a little shaken.

"Thank you." you whisper back.

You turn to the priest and he begins his talk with who gives away the bride, and James rises and when he sat down again, the priest asks you to take each other's right hand. You do what he says but honestly you barely hear him, the only thing you are aware of is that Tom's thumb gently makes circles over your hand and his presence beside you. Yet you pay enough attention to repeat the priests words and then you both say you wedding vow to each other before the priest asks for the rings. Ben takes a step forward and gives Tom the ring while you give your bridal bouquet to Sophie and take Tom's ring from her and when you turn yourself the priest begins to talk, and Tom repeats his words and then slides the ring on your finger. After you've slid the ring on Tom's finger you look up to the priest. He smiles when he declares you man and wife and that Tom may kiss his bride and you barely have time to react before you feel his lips on yours, his hand cupping your cheek and the other on the small of your back, pulling you against him, the kiss is more passionate than you had expected and when the priest scrapes his throat you break the kiss.

"Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce to you, Mr. and Mrs. Hiddleston." he says.

Everyone in the church rises and starts clapping and cheering profusely, you and Tom laugh and now walk down the aisle together arm in arm towards the entrance of the church, meanwhile getting sprinkled with confetti and rose patals while Sophie and Ben and Emma and Chris follow you. Also, Diana, Sarah, Yukov and Dean follow you out and when you stand before the church Tom grabs you tightly to kiss you again.

"Okay, cut it out you two, there is enough time for that later," Ben says and Tom reluctantly lets you go,"go to the garden, spend some time alone with each other while we make sure the guests go to Mottistone for the reception, we'll see you in the garden in ten minutes for the pictures."

Tom nods and immediately pulls you to the garden and you laugh at his eagerness to be alone with you. When you are in the garden Tom grabs your other hand and keeps you at a little distance, his eyes roaming over your body, fully taking in how you look, it's a strapless lace dress with a asymmetrical pleat in the bodice.Very simple but still he looks at you as if you're the most beautiful creature he has ever seen.

"Oh, darling you're impossible stunning, so beautiful, so gorgeous." he says.

"Thank you."

"And the necklace only makes you more beautiful."

"Thank you for that, I find it beautiful."

Before you can make him a compliment on his suit his arms circle around your waist and his lips find yours, your arms go around his neck and he pushes you firmly against him. You get lost in the kiss and his hands slide down to rest on you buttocks and he squeezes it while simultaneously drawing you even closer to him. You feel your body responding to his action and you break the kiss breathlessly.

"Tom ..." you moan but lay your head back when his lips kiss down your neck.

"I can not wait to 'consummate' our marriage, Mrs. y/n Hiddleston." he says against your skin.

"Say it again."

"Mrs. y/n Hiddleston."

"God I love being called like that."

"You were born to bear my name, darling, it suits you."

You laugh and eventually you succeed in looking at him.

"And about consuming our marriage, I have arranged for us to sleep in the bridal suite of the Mottistone."

"They have a bridal suite?"

"Yeah, they have more rooms but they won't be occupied so it's just you and me."

"I'm going to make you scream my name so loud, anymore surprises?" he asks.

"Maybe." you say before you know it and he raises his eyebrows.

"Really? What?"

"Well, if I tell you it wouldn't be a surprise anymore now would it?" you say.

"That's true. A clue then, perhaps?"

"You'll love it!" Emma suddenly says and you both look up.

You see that she is holding Levi and Dean holds Jason's hand. When Levi sees you he starts cooing and wobbling in Emma's grasp and she gives him over to you, you place him on your hip and place a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"You and my sister having secrets for me again?" Tom asks, and he runs a hand through Levi's hair, who's fingers grab for his hand but he playfully pulls them away from his biting teeth, in stead he runs them through Jason's curls.

When your bridesmaids and groomsmen stand around you, you suddenly see that the groomsmen bear a pochet in their breast pocket in cream color, the same color as the dresses of Emma and Sophie and you smile at the small detail. Then Tony and Matt come walking towards you, they congratulate you and then start with the photos after you gave Levi back to Emma. Some of all of you together, some of you and Tom along with Diana and James and some of you with your bridesmaids and of Tom with his groomsmen. The last pictures are taken of you and Tom alone, Matt and Tony have never previously made wedding photos before, but they have enough experience and know exactly how they want you. Embracing each other while you are looking at each other, Tom standing behind you with his arms around your waist and your faces turned to each other, Tom who lifts your bridal style and also one, your favorite, in which Tom has one hand on your lowerback and with the other he holds your leg around his waist and your hands are fisted in his lapels, making it look like your pulling him towards you. When the photos are taken Matt jokingly says that he would love to place a few in the magazine Elle.

"Maybe that's not a bad idea," Tom says, and suddenly you look at him, "the fans will want to see pictures."

"Yes, I know, but should we not decide which one?"

"Of course, the choice is entirely up to you." Matt says quickly, grabbing his chance.

"And when are we going to decide? We go on honeymoon on Monday, and when we return you almost immediately have to leave to Belfast for High Rise."

"Take your time, there's no hurry." Matt says.

"But there is with the recpetion, everyone is waiting for the newlyweds." Ben says.

You let Ben usher you out of the garden and into the reception hall of Mottistone, it is beautifully decorated and the whole room is filled with people, you and Tom are put at the end of the row with your bridesmaids and groomsmen, and Tom's parents. It takes an eternity before everybody has congratulated you and where you take some time to talk to some of them, like the cast of The Avengers and friends who know Tom well, you just shake some hands and politely accept the congratulations of the ones you don't really know. When everyone has past you most guests go on to the buffet which is arranged. You and Tom have chosen to not have a dinner with only family and close friends so while you were receiving the congratulations the staff has set up tables where dinner is being served but because your are sitting on a slight increase in a extension with Dean, Emma, Chris, Elsa, Sarah, Yukov, Ben and Sophie and James and Diana and the kids you still have the idea it's just family and dear friends among each other. The dinner is delicious and you frequently look at the main room to see if your guests are okay until Tom takes your hand and gives a kiss on it.

"They will be fine, darling, enjoy yourself for a moment."

"I am, really." you say and lean forward to kiss him.

After dinner you walk into the main room again and when everybody has a glass Ben walks to the middle of the room to catch everyone's attention and he begins his speech. You soon discover that Ben is the perfect choice for that, it's fun and light and you often have to laugh but he is also serious and he closes the speech by raising the glass to you and Tom. After Ben is finished you hear soft music coming from the room across the hall, it attracts Tom's attention and he looks at you. You take his hand and lead him into the hall and then walk into the ballroom with him, followed by the guests. In the middle of the floor you stand still while Ben walks to the podium and climbs on it. He grabs a microphone and Tom notices that the podium is hidden behind a curtain. The guests give you the space to open the dance and while Ben talks the soft music continues.

"Is that live?" Tom asks.

"Yes."

Tom glances at you but when Ben says his name he looks up and Ben steps sideways to the edge of the podium and when the curtain falls down revealing the band behind it Tom's mouth falls open.

"Oh my God." he whispers.

You look at him and Tom also looks at you and then back to the stage, not believing what he sees.

"Oh my god, is that Muse?"

"Surprise." you say.

"Oh my god, you've arranged this?"

"Yes." you say.

Tom looks at you, but his face shifts to the podium when Matthew says his name. He jumps off the stage and walks towards you.

"Tom, we have only briefly met each other twice but I liked you right away because of your kindness, your honesty, your childlike nature and so when I got an email from your lovely future wife to ask if we wanted to play on your wedding day I immediately said yes. It is our honor to sing for you on this special day in your life."

He stands before you now and he gives Tom a hug and congratulates him and he does the same with you.

"The most beautiful pregnant bride I've ever seen." he says and kisses your hand.

Then he walks to the podium to begin the song on which you do the first dance and in stead of climbing on, he sits down on the edge during the song. After the song is over Ben grabs the microphone, he indicates that Muse will be playing for approximately two hours but because there will be people who do not like such music, he says that in the previous hall normal music will be played but people are also allowed to wander into the garden. On your request they first sing some songs where can be danced normally on so that you have the chance to dance with James, Ben and Chris. But Dean and Yukov take their chance too to dance with you and even the usually so shy Chris asks you to dance and you're a little surprised when it appears that he can dance pretty well. Every few minutes, you and Tom's eyes lock and you give each other a smile or wink. He is also constantly dancing with Diana, his sisters, Elsa, Sophie but from the corner of your eye you see that Scarlet grabs her chance, too.

About an hour later, and by now with aching feet you let yourself fall into a chair, your hands go to your feet but before you can take off your shoes, Tom is crouching before you.

"Are you okay? I saw you walking away ...."

"I'm fine," you say, "I only have sore feet from dancing."

"Logically, you've danced for so long on heels,"Tom says and gently pulls your heeled shoes from your feet to rub your heels and you sigh of relief,"and you have to remember that you're four months pregnant, darling, can I do anything else for you?"

"No, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I just need a minute." you say.

When you hear Tom's name being called you look to the dance floor where Robert, Scarlet, Jeremy and Chris gesture to dance(jump) with them on the faster songs of Muse. Tom smiles before he looks at you again, silently asking you if it's okay and you smile.

"Go dancing with your friends, my husband." you say.

"Thank you, my beautiful wife."

You share one last kiss before he rises and runs towards his friends and you laugh at his enthusiasm. When somebody sits down next to you you look sideways and see Lucas sitting.

"I remember that you promised me a dance."

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." you say and put your hand over your mouth.

"That doesn't matter." he says.

"Yes it does, come on." you say and stand up before you reach him your hand.

"On this music?"

"No, in the room opposite normal music is being played, or do you find it a problem to dance with a woman that is barefoot?"

"No, not at all." he laughs.

Together you walk to the other room where here and there a couple is dancing and your a little surprised when you see James and Diana dancing withe each other. When you're in the middle of the dance floor you turn around and while Lucas slips his arm around your waist and pulls you close you lay your arm around his neck and you start to dance.

"Are you not afraid that I'm going to stand on your toes?" he asks.

"No, I trust you, I've done that before and it paid out quite well," you say, "Tom and I can not emphasize enough how grateful we are for what you did that night."

"I did my job." he says and looks away and your eyes search for his and when you find them you see guilt,"I blame myself for what happened that night."

"You shouldn't."

"She should never have come so far, and I should have never let myself be surprised by her..... I fell asleep on the couch. I woke with her standing over me with a gun in my face. The first thing I thought of was you. I must at all costs prevent that she would reach you, hurt you. I do not know how but somehow I managed to give her a push and she stumbled back, fell onto the coffeetable so I reached for my gun but it was gone, of course. Before I could do something she was on me, we struggled for some time downstairs before I managed to reach the stairs but she grabbed my foot and pulled me down. Then she shot at the same time I kicked her in the abdomen which is why she hit my shoulder. Then I heard your voice ..... as soon as I could I ran upstairs to warn you, the only thing I thought of was getting you to safety, to protect you and your child."

"And you did, you've saved my life and the life of my baby and Tom and I will always be grateful for that."

"The ceremony was beautiful and when I saw your and Tom do the opening dance it was like I was watching a fairy tale, the way you interact with each other, look at each other, without even saying anything at all you just know how much you love each other, how perfectly you fit together.....a love like that you might come across only once in your life, if you're lucky."

"Talking about perfect couples, how is it going between you and Megan?" you ask.

"Good, very good, we see each other as often as we can and we have a great time together, she really is the most amazing woman I've ever met."

"Ouch, you wound me." you say, feigning pain in your voice.

"You know what I mean, y/n," he says, laughing, "she fits so well with me, I've had girlfriends before as you know but with her it's so different, she gets me, really gets me, sometimes she even knows what I'm going to do or say before I do, amazing, I never had someone in my life that makes me feel so complete as she does."

Suddenly he stops talking and you raise your eyebrows.

"What?"

"I'm thinking about asking her to move in with me."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, I know it's fast but...."

You place your finger on his mouth and shake your head.

"I was already pregnant with Tom after a month and now, five months later we are married, if your heart tells you she's the one for you, follow it."

"I will."

"Just promis me one thing."

"What?"

"Send me an invitation for the wedding and save me a dance."

"Okay, I promis," he says laughing,"you really do look beautiful."

"Thank you."

You lay your head on his shoulder and finish the dance before Lucas brings you back to the chair and gives you something to drink before returning to Megan. The rest of the evening you talk with your guests and you are happy everyone has fun. When the end of the evening is in sight Sophie and Emma get the thank you's for the guests and hand them out before they leave. When everyone is gone you walk through the hall and for the first time you see the massive pile of presents the guests left for you.

"Where do you want to store it?" Emma asks.

"Well, Tom and I will sleep in the honeymoon suite tonight so you can bring it to our cottage." you say.

"Okay, when are you leaving to India?"

"Not untill tomorrow afternoon, our flight leaves at six o'clock I believe, so I guess we will be leaving here around noon. Thank you, Emma," you say, and turn to her, "for everything."

Emma smiles and gives you a hug before she looks at you, but before you can say anything you feel how Tom's arms slip around your waist and he pulls you tightly against his chest, kissing your neck and making you shiver.

"There's my beautiful wife, I've barely seen you." he pouts against your skin.

"You can make it up to me when we get into our suite."

"Oh I will, don't worry." he smiles.

"Excuse me, I'm still here," Emma says and you and Tom look at her apologetically,"you know, just go, go and have fun, we'll sort this out."

Before you can thank her Tom lifts you up bridal style and you put your arms around his neck.

Tom walks with you in his arms to the elevator where he presses on the button of the top floor after he has put you down. When the lift is in motion, he corners you against the wall, trapping you with his arms and his lips kiss yours hungrily, he presses his body against you, you also realize that except for the shared dance you have barerly seen him and the need to compensate that only growns with that realization, and you arch your back, needing to feel him much closer to you. When the elevator pings that you are on the correct floor Tom bunches up your dress so he can lift you up and you can lock your ankles around his hips rolling your hips against his, already feeling his erection harden and making him moan into your mouth.

"God, y/n, I can not wait to have you, to take you, to hear you screaming my name."

Tom walks towards the door while you kiss his neck making it difficult for him to open it but after several attempts he manages to, he walks inside with you and when the door is closed, he pushes you against the wall and kisses you deeply. You lay your head in your neck and his kisses go over your neck and end up at the swelling of your breasts while your hands tug his hair. Then he rocks his hips forward pushing the bulge of his hard erection against your already soaking folds.

"Bedroom." you say hoarsely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think!


	59. chapter 56

Tom nods against your skin and walks to the bedroom where he puts you down and cups your cheeks in his hands before kissing you deeply. While kissing your hands go to his jacket and you slide it from his shoulders, followed by unbuttoning his waistcoat which soon falls next to his jacket. While you pull on his bow tie to throw it on the floor his fingers go to your veil and carefully he unwrapps it before he drops it on the ground, in the meanwhile his shirt is open and he shakes it from his shoulders. His hands go to the back of your dress while yours begin with his pants, you feel Tom's fingers searching for the zipper and the movement become almost desperate when he finds nothing and you chuckles against his lips.

"Don't laugh," he says, "help me so I can get you naked, where is the zipper?"

You break the kiss and lift your arm, Tom opens your zipper and pushes the dress slowly down until it pools around your ankles and he raises his eyebrow when he sees the blue garter around your thigh.

"I had to have something blue." you say.

"Right."

He pushes you back until you feel the edge of the bed against your legs and you sit down, hands already on their way to his pants, but he stops you, he kneels between your legs and lifts the leg with the garter around it. He takes it between his teeth and while he looks at you he pulls it off of your leg, your breath hitches in your throat, and when he lets it fall to the ground, he pulls off your stockings and he slowly sits up straight. He leans forward and kisses your lips again, feeling the passion and desire behind it and you open his pants to let your hands glide to his lower back, they slide over the curve of his buttocks to push his pants and boxer of his hips and when it falls Tom pulls back and looks at you.

"Lay back, let me look at you." he says.

You do what he says and move backwards on the bed, leaning on your elbows Tom let's his eyes roam over your naked form and he smile while crawling over you slowly.

"You, my bride, are absolutly stunning."

He covers your body with his larger frame and while your lips find each other again his hand slides down, he massages and caresses your breast, sometimes pinching your nipple and when it is hard he moves to your other breast and repeats it. Then he kisses a path down, and when he comes to you slit he lies down between your legs, he lifts your legs and places them over his shoulders and his fingers spread your folds open for him.

"God, you're soaking wet already for me, I love that I have this effect on you."

You feel how he softly blows air over your sensitive spot and you fist the sheets in your hands, head falling backwards.

"Fuck, Tom ..." you groan.

"Oh you like that?"

"It seems obvious to me." you gasp.

Tom smiles and repeats it a few times before he places his hands under your buttocks, lifting your hips before his tongue attacks your clit and your hips buck up, your hand shoots in his hair and you give a firm tug making him moan against your already throbbing clit.

"You want me?"

"Yes."

"Tell me, talk to me."

You lick your lips and swallow hard.

"I want to feel you inside me, I want to feel how your delicious amazing dick buries itself deep inside me, I want to ...... oh, god," you moan when Tom caresses your clit with his tongue.

"Go on." he murmurs.

"I want you to fuck me so hard that I feel it for days," you pull him up and look at him,"make me scream your name like only you can, my handsome husband."

"It will be my pleasure, my beautiful wife."

He kisses your lips and you feel his dick breaching you, your hips come up from the bed, he lets one hand slide over your side and when he finds the hollow of your knee he hoists it over his hip. He thrusts a few times deep and hard before he stops and you are suddenly turned on your side while his dick is remains inside you. He sits astride one leg and the other is curled around his waist. When he makes a swiveling movement with his hips a loud groan escapes from your lips forming his name.

"That's it, moan my name."

Tom places his hands next to your head and thrust a few times deeply and slowly before laying down your leg and he leans over you.

"On your stomach, darling."

Laboriously you roll on your stomach and you feel how Tom's body moves over yours before he gives short but powerful thrusts that touch your bundle of joy every time. Your eyes roll in their sockets of pleasure and Tom sits upright while you feel his hands pulling your buttock apart while he keeps thrusting inside you.

"Fuck, y/n, just seeing how your body takes me in, over and over is so hot, so fucking hot." 

"Yes...God yes......" you groan into the pillow.

Tom laughs breathless and lets his other hand go up while pulling your upper body up agiants his chest, you place your head on his shoulder while one of his hands moves down and stimulates your clit and the other massages you breast. He bites into your earlobe and you let one hand go into his hair and the other you lay on his hip, Tom slowly thrust up into you and you move your hips down with each rocking motion.

"Faster, take me harder."

Tom obeys and thrust faster, harder and deeper within you, gasping and moaning in your ear and you turn your face to him for a quick kiss before he begins to thrust in earnest and you have to break the kiss because your bundle of joy is attacked each time. Tom feels your muscles tense around his shaft and he bites into your shoulder while pressing on your clit.

"You want to come?"

"Yes, please make me come."

"Are you going to scream my name?"

"Yeah, fuck."

"Then scream my name. Let me hear you."

The following thrusts are hard and deep, and while you chant his name you fall over the edge, your body shakes and trembles and the only thing holding you up are his strong arms around your waist. He soon reaches his climax and you feel his fingers tense around your breast while you wait until he has recovered again you close your eyes and when you feel two lips gently kissing your shoulder you look at him. You pull him towards you to kiss him slowly and lazily and gently he lowers you down until he can lie down next to you. You're a little worn out from the lovemaking session and you feel how Tom rolls you on your side and presses his body against yours, back against his chest curling an arm around you en kissing your shoulder again and you drift off to sleep untill you hear Tom's voice whispering in your ear.

"I meant what I said earlier today, right before our wedding in the church. I knew from the moment that I had you lying beneath me, moaning my name, craving my touch that you where the one I would marry one day and now here we are,"his hand slides down to your belly and he caresses it gently,"you and our baby are my first priority, the centre of my world, my universe and I swear to you I will care and provide for the both of you at the best of my abilities and will protect you against anyone whe even dares to mistreat you and the little one, you both will never want for anything, I give you everything your heart desires. I love you, my darling, so much more than I ever thought I could love someone and I feel so honored and privileged that you love me back, so much more then I ever thought I deserved."

You bite your lip, wondering if you should let him now you heard him but before you can make a decision you hear his breathing even out and you know he is sleeping so you close your eyes too.

When you wake up it is mid-morning, you rub your eyes and look next to you, Tom still sound asleep and cautiously you sneak out of bed to walk to the bathroom. You take a sip of water and when you walk out again you sit down on the bed with your legs up against your body, face towards the head end so you can look at Tom and finally your eyes rest on his wedding ring, the ring you have slid around his finger not twelve hours earlier making him your husband. You reach your hand forward and caresses the blue ridges, making Tom stir and his breath falters before opening his eyes and he looks at you, smile on his lips and fingers weaving through yours.

"Good morning, my beautiful wife."

"Good morning, my handsome husband."

"Come here."

He draws you to him and you let yourself fall willingly into his arms, they close around your waist and your lips find each other, the kiss that follows is lazy and playful but soon becomes intense, tongues that caress and teeth that bite but nevertheless you reluctantly push him away from you.

"What?"

"I want to say goodbye to your family before they leave."

"My family? Darling, they are your family too now, thay have always been, you know that."

You smile and lay your hand on his chest causing your eyes to be drawn to the sapphires in your wedding ring and you look at it.

"It looks great on you."

"It's beautiful, thank you for not listening to me." you say.

"You're welcome, it felt amazingly good to slide it on your finger." he says.

Tom slides his hand under yours to lift them together, bringing your wedding rings together.

"Perfect fit together, just like their owners."

"I heard you last night." you say.

"I thought you were asleep." he says.

"Yeah, well no, sorry. What you said was really sweet." you say.

"I meant it, every word, darling."he says and gives you another kiss before he hugs you tighter to his chest.

"I know."

"I have to tell you something." he suddenly says.

"What?"

"I found out that I'm nominated for a Saturn Award."

"Really? For what?"

"Best supporting actor in The Dark World."

"When will they be awarded."

"June 26th."

You look up at him, vaguely understanding what he wants to say.

"You want to go there and you want me to walk with you over the red carpet, don't you?"

"Only if you want to," he says quickly, "but I thought, we're married now and your almost five months pregnant of me, it is the ideal time to step to the forefront as a real couple."

You bite your lip and think for a moment.

"I will go with you." you say.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, you're right when you say that I am your wife now, and a wife accompanies her husband to such important events and shows the world that she supports him."

"Thank you, I have quickly viewed the list and Ben is also nominated, we can suggest to go together so that when I have to speak to the press Sophie is close to you."

"I'd like that very much."

"Then we do that, and Guillermo, Robert, Mia and Scarlet are also nominated and the movie The Dark World has also been nominated so there are enough people to keep you company."

"Where is it?"

"Burbank, California."

"As in America?"

"Yes."

"If you arrange the airline tickets and hotel."

"Of course?"

"What do you want me to wear?"

"Whatever you want." is the answer.

"I will be six months pregnant, I could choose a dress that shows my bump but I can also choose one that hides it."

"No, I want the whole world to see that you carry my child," he says and caresses your stomach, "usually the nominees are assigned to an agency which dresses them for the occasion. I will say that we come and give them your sizes and I will immediately say that we need a beautiful elegant maternity dress for you. Do you have a preference for a color?"

"Blue." you say right away.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you look great in blue, at least if you want to wear blue."

"Of course, me in a blue shirt and you in a beautiful blue dress."

"Just one thing, no bowtie."

"Yo don't like bowties?"

"No, not on you, a tie is much better."

"A tie it is then. Shower?"

"Yes, but only a shower."

"I will do my best." Tom promises.

The shower is big enough that you do not always come in each others space but nevertheless Tom can not resist to occasionally give you a kiss before he continues with showering. You are finished earlier and step out of the shower to wrap a towel around your body, you wipe the mirror clean and just when you want to grab your brush two arms snake around your waist and you feel lips in your neck while he pushes his hips forward and you sigh when you feel his already hardening member.

"Tom ..." you say admonishing.

"Sorry, I can not help it, just watching you turns me on so terribly." he says apologetically rolling his hips forward again.

"God, you're impossible." You sigh but nevertheless push your hips back against his erection and he bites your shoulder.

"We make it a quickie, okay?"

"Yes."

His hands search for the hem of your towel and when he finds it he moves it up to reveal your butt and you automatically lay your upper body on the sink. Tom leans over you and lets a hand go lower and he caresses your folds and he moans when he discovers that you're already nice and wet.

"And you find me impossible? You're one to talk." he says in your ear while dipping a finger inside.

"Just take me, Tom, fuck me." you say, pushing your hips down.

He pushes your legs apart and he aligns his erection against you opening before he pushes inside you in one slow movement. When he fills you completly he stops before he begins to thrust in earnest, each thrust harder and deeper than the last and soon you are a groaning mess underneath him. His hand takes your chin and forces you to look at him in the mirror. You lock eyes with each other and the passion and fire that you see bring you close to your peak, when Tom licks your neck and ends with a tug on you earlobe you fall over the edge and you feel how he tumbles with you.

Fifteen minutes later you walk down the stairs hand in hand and when you hear familiar voices in the breakfast room you walk inside to see James, Diana, Emma and Dean sitting at a large round table. By the looks of it, they have just had breakfast and Diana stands to greet you.

"There's the bride and groom!" she says, and gives you a big hug.

"Mom, give them some space to breath." Emma sighs.

"What? I'm happy, my son finally married to the woman of his life and I can not imagine a better daughter in law."

"I fully agree with this." James says, smiling.

"We have about an hour before we go," Emma says, "let's spend those in the garden, the rest is there too."

You nod and walk towards the garden, it is warm and there is a gentle breeze, you hear soft laughter and you immediately recognize the cheerful sound of Jason in it, you walk further and the scene you see makes you smile. Ben, Yukov and Chris, who has the twins lying next to him in the grass, watch as Sophie, Sarah and Elsa play with the other kids. The soft cooing of Levi gives you a smile around your lips and you join them. The stuff has already been packed into the cars so the full hour is spent by talking and playing and when you sit down next to Emma, Levi starts crawling towards you and you pull him into your lap. Tom sits down next to you, and because India knows him she walks towards him and when she is within reaching distance he takes her hand and leads the little girl towards him to sit in his lap. While playing with Tom's fingers she sometimes looks at you inquisitively but when Tom takes her hand and gives it a kiss she giggles softly, the sound making him laugh too. Eventually she grips Tom's shirt in her small fingers and pulls herself up and, supported by Tom, she finally stands on his thighs to reach her hand for you and you take it smiling.

"Hey, little girl, how are you?"

India giggles and looks at Tom and when he smiles at her and nods encouragingly, she also extend her other hand to you to switch over but because you already have Levi on your lap you playfully tickle her side. India giggles of enjoyment and grabs your hand. Then she sees your wedding ring, the sapphires sparkle in the sunlight, and she looks mesmerized at them.

"You like that?"

India nods her head without taking her eyes off of it.

"Me wants."

"Well, this is mine, I got it from my dream guy but when you have your very own dream guy I will give him a hint, okay?"

"Okay." is the soft response.

You have an inkling that India doesn't know exactly what you're saying but you smile.

"You're a beautiful girl, already, your mom and dad will have a hard time when you hit puberty and suddenly all the boys in the area stand in line to be allowed to go out with you."

"Yes, they must first pass through me and that will not be so easily." Chris says.

"Honey ..." Elsa begins.

"I know, when she grows up she may go out with whom she wants to, I would just prefer to lock her up so that no boy has a chance to break her heart. Because I'll break their legs."

"Chris, are you not exaggerating a bit?" Tom says.

"Just wait, when that little one in y/n stomach turns out to be a girl, I'll talk to you again in 14 years." he jokes.

"Well, if it is a girl she can go out with anyone she wishes, as long as they treat her with respect."

"See, that's the problem, fifteen years old boys don't even know what respect is, all they know is raging hormones and I will not allow them to give free rein to them on my daughter." he says sternly.

"Just the fact that you are Chris Hemsworthmis enough warning for them I believe." Elsa says laughing.

The rest of the time is spend fairly quite, just enjoying the peace and each other untill the twins become a little restless and Chris picks one up followed by Elsa. 

"We should be going." Elsa says.

You and Tom stand up and Tom presses a kiss on India's cheek before he sets her down and Chris takes her hand. The rest also say goodbye to you and when everyone is gone and you are the only two left Tom lays his arms around your waist and presses you up against his chest.

"Are you ready for the best part, darling?" he whispers in your ear.

"God, yes, more than 2 weeks in a place where it is just you and me, I can't imagine anything better."

You turn in his arms and there follows a deep long intense kiss before you pack your bags, thank everybody for their hard work and depart on your honeymoon to India. After a flight of and hour and a half with Cityjet you land on Amsterdam Schiphol where you have to wait two and a half hours before you can board the KLM Airbus which will bring you to the Indira Gandhi International Airport in New Delhi. During those two and a half hours you stroll through Schiphol shopping center where you can find all sorts of things, from clothes to alcohol and from books to complete street directories. While you are looking at a selection of folders for New Delhi an arm snakes around your waist and Tom lays his chin on your shoulder to see what you are looking at.

"We do not need map of New Delhi, I know it inside out."

"Are you sure? It can't hurt."

"Very sure, darling. I'm going to look across from here if they have some nice Jameson, I see you there?"

"Yeah alright."

He presses a kiss on your head and then walks away, you look back at him and automatically your eyes wander down and you bite your lip when you see how perfectly the jeans hugs his delicious buttocks. When he has disappeared you sigh longingly and look back at the folder.

"Not that I do not trust you, but better safe than sorry." you say to yourself.

You walk to the checkout with the map to pay and when you walk into the liquor store fifteen minutes later you notice to your amazement that it is larger than normal and after wandering around a while, you suddenly see him standing but he is not alone. There are a couple of people around him, two men and two women who are older, who talk to him and take pictures and when Tom has given his autograph to them his eyes find yours. He smiles to you and beckons you to come to him, the people are still with him and you hesitate a moment but then take a deep breath and go to him. When you're close enough he reaches his hand out to you and you take it so he can lace your fingers together and he kisses your cheek.

"And here is my beautiful newly wife."

You nod to the people around you and they give you a friendly smile and congratulate you with the marriage and say that you are a lovely couple together. After they said goodbye you look at Tom.

"Fans of yours?" you ask.

"No," Tom laughs, "their daughters, they are waiting for them in the arrival hall, judging by their Dutch accent when they spoke English, they come from here, came back from a week in Spain."

During his talk, Tom continues to look through the Jameson's which stand before him and eventually he takes two bottles.

"Do you want anything?"

"No, thanks, I'm not the drinking type, you know that."

"I know, but this is a very special occasion." he says, winking.

"I know but I have something else in mind, something that you will also appreciate and enjoy very much." you say mysterious.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah, and no, I am not giving you a hint."

Tom pulls a pout at you while you walk to the checkout and Tom pays the two bottles of Jameson and together you walk further. You decide to look for the right gate and wait until you can board.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and with this I say; see you in three weeks, my darlings, next update will be on july 25, reviews make my day!


	60. chapter 57

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I'm back and decided that I should post the chapter a little sooner, just as a reward for you, for being so awesome! and I translated all the French bits!

There is a separate waiting area for people who fly first class and there you take a drink before a stewardess comes in to announce that you can board. She guides you through the proboscis to the airplane, and points you to the spacious seats that belong to the first class. You sit at the window and when Tom sits next to you, he takes your hand and presses a kiss on it, making you look at him and smile. He leans forward to give you a kiss and when someone next to you clears her throat you look up and see the stewardess standing. She indicates that the safety belts must be fastened because the plane will take off any minute. Tom nods and helps you with yours and when it is secure, he slides his hand between the strap and your belly.

"What are you doing?"

"See if it's not too tight, I don't want to stifle the baby."

"Honey, it still has more than enough room in my stomach."

"Just to be sure. Not too tight?"

"No." you say.

Fifteen minutes later, the safety belts can be disconnected and when yours falters Tom needs to help you again, which he does happily.

"Do you want to eat something?"

"I'm not hungry." you say.

"Are you sure? You haven't eaten since this morning, I want you to get enough food inside for the baby."

You laugh and shake your head as you look away.

"What is it?"

"Nothing, just .... you're always so worried about me, whether I eat enough, or I have enough sleep, if I do not strain myself too much."

"Sorry." he says apologetic.

He looks away, but you place your free hand on his cheek and turn it toward you to kiss him, then you look at him lovingly.

"Please don't apologize, I think it's very sweet of you, your concern and worry for this child and your desire to make sure that everything goes well with this pregnancy only shows that you will be a amazingly loving father to this child. It can not wish for a better father than you. "

"And no better mother than you." Tom adds.

When you sit back in your seat, there is a stewardess standing next to you.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"Oh, some water, please." Tom says.

The stewardess hands you two bottles of water and looks at you.

"The hot meal will be served in about 3 hours, Mrs opted for the Indonesian rice table and Mr. for the Captain's choice, is that correct?"

"Yes, that's correct." Tom says.

"Should you need anything else then let me know."

The stewardess walks away and you take your bottle of water to take a sip, the time until the meal is served progresses quitly, sometimes you and Tom talk a bit but otherwise you browse through the magazines. There are several magazines where information of New Delhi is in and you read it with attention.

"Why do not you check out what you wanna see? Make a list." Tom suggests.

"Good idea."

You fold your legs under your body and begin to browse through the magazines to figure out what you want to see and after an hour and a half you have eight or so things on your wish list.

"The National Museum of New Delhi?" he asks and looks at you surprised,"when we met I believe your excact words were; 'I normally do not have much interest in art.'"

"I don't, but I know you do and it's your honeymoon too, so you should enjoy yourself too."

"That's sweet, darling, thank you," he says and kisses the side of your head,"you know, we have about 15 days, I would not put more than 10 things on your list."

"And the other five days then?" you ask.

When you do not get a reply you look at him and Tom looks you cheeky, eyebrows raised.

"Oh, I get it," you say, "you really want to spend five days in bed with me? Won't you get bored?"

"Oh, darling, if I spent them all in bed with you I still would not be bored for a second." he laughs.

"Close the curtain." you say.

"What?"

"Close the curtain."

In one swift movement Tom closes the curtain and he is immediately on you, his lips in your neck and his hands slip under your shirt, they slide up under the band of your bra and go forward, he cups your breasts while he squeezes them. He pushes up the cups and pinches your nipples before you feel his hands at your pants and he makes quick work of your closure and pushes it from your hips. He pushes you back and nestles himself between your legs, his hips grinding down and you bite your lip to keep a groan inside. Your hands open his shirt as quickly as you can and then go to his trousers which you open eagerly and push from his hips. When you feel his fingers at your clit you push his hand away.

"No, no foreplay, I need you now." you gasp.

"I do not want to hurt you." he says hesitantly.

"You wont, just ... please ..."

You put your feet on the armrests of your chair and you feel how he aligns his erection against your opening, then his hand cups your head and brings it up and he pushes his erection inside you while he kisses you to swallow your groan. He immediately rocks fast and deep and with a particularly hard and deep thrust you unintentionally bite hard on his lip and your nails dig into his shoulders, undoubtedly leaving crescents behind. Tom whines and you taste the flavor of blood, gasping you break the kiss.

"Sorry, I'm sorry .... I didn't mean ....."

"It's okay," he whispers against your lips,"je vais bien, I'm fine."

You curl a leg around his hip and press your ankle in his lower back, indicating that he should thrust faster, which he does. His lips find yours again and the kiss soon becomes intense and feverish. When you feel your orgasm building in your stomach your hands slip into his hair and you tug at his curls, making him moan into your mouth. One of his hands goes down and his fingers cup your breast while his thumb caresses your nipple. When you tilt your hips upwards during his next thrust you fall over the edge, you muscles tensing around his shaft and you feel him emptying himself inside you. Panting, you break the kiss and he lays his head in the curve of your neck, you're also out of breath and you lick your lips.

"God, Tom."

"I did not hurt you, did I?" he asks.

"Nothing I can not handle," you say, "look at me."

Tom looks up at you and your finger moves over the small cut on his lower lip that still bleeds a little. You lean toward him and kiss the wound gently.

"I am really sorry." you say.

"I'll survive." he says.

Laborious he pushes himself to his feet and first sits in his seat before he puts his clothes back on and you do the same.

"And that was the short version." you say.

"Can not wait for the longer one."

"You'll get it in the hotel," you promis him,"together wit your surprise."

Tom smiles and lowers the armrest between your chairs so he can draw you close to him.

"You know, this was the roughest sex we've ever had and in a plane, with people around us." you say.

"You better hope nobody heard something then."

"Oh, I can see the headlines already, the always so distinguished and respectable Tom Hiddleston misbehaves in first class with his wife." you laugh.

"I'm sure my fans will be shocked."

"Oh, your reputation will be ruined."

"Your such a bad influance on me."

"Excuse me?"

"You wanted me to close the curtain." Tom says.

"Yeah, I did not ask you to jump my bones, Mr. Hiddleston."

"I did not hear you complaining, Mrs. Hiddleston."

"God, I just love to be called that." you sigh with relish.

"I would not wanted to give anyone else my name then you."

Tom places his hand on your belly and interweaves his fingers with yours and for a moment you sit like that but eventually you fall asleep, head on his shoulder. 

You wake up when it is being announced that the safety belts must be fastened for the landing and after the plane has stopped you go off board and take a taxi to the hotel. It is already dark and the city of New Delhi has an almost fairytale appearance by the beautifully illuminated buildings. It is an hour drive to the hotel but the whole time you sit with your face almost pressed up against the window to see everything. Tom sits next to you, and because he has already seen it all, his eyes remain on you, enjoying your shinning face while you take everything in. The taxi stops outside the hotel entrance and Tom opens the door and steps out first, then he reaches you his hand and helps you out When you're standing in front of the hotel you are overwhelmd by the appearance, the entire facade has a bright golden glow and while two hotel valets deal with your suitcases Tom leads you towards the entrance. The porter opens the door for you and gives a nod of his head before you walk into the enormous hall. Because it is around twelve o'clock at night it is pretty empty and you can look around properly, the floor is made of white/grey marble, the walls are in some places lavishly decorated with wall paintings and everywhere are the finest sculptures, just as richly decorated and painted as the wall paintings and chandeliers hang from the ceiling. Your mouth drops open from all the beauty that you see and you hear Tom chuckling next to you.

"I'm going to get the key to our room, can I leave you here or should I be afraid that you are going to wander off?"

"What? Oh no, no, I'll stay here."

"Good."

Tom kisses your forehead before he releases your hand and goes to the counter to pick up the key, you turn a circle and take in all the beauty again before he's back and takes you to the elevator where a valet is waiting with your suitcases. He escorts you to the suite and opens the door for you, he rides the suitcases into the hall and Tom pays him before he let's him out and closes the door behind him. You now walk through an archway and enter a spacious living room with two couches, a huge widescreen TV and a coffee table, with windows from floor to ceiling, which is adorned by a small chandelier. Here too images of Indian people are richly decorated, also there is a desk with a chair and a lamp and a bookcase. When you reach a door you open it and you walk into a large bedroom and you immediately see the King size bed standing, with the headboard against the wall. On the other side there is a sofa and fautteull and a low table and this room also has windows from the floor to the ceiling. You walk to the double doors and when you open them, you see a huge walk-in closet that reminds you a little of the closet in the first house you shared with Tom and behind a second door is a spacious bathroom with separate round bath tub in the middle on a round increase, a long walk-in shower with two showerheads, and two sinks with mirrors. When you see Tom in the mirror, leaning against the door jamb, you turn to him, hands in his pockets, he looks at you.

"Well, did I do good?"

"Oh, you did pretty great."

"And you haven't even seen the best yet."

"The King size bed is not the best?" you ask defiant.

"The second best then, come here."

He takes your hand and takes you back to the living room, you see that there are two doors in the corner that you had not previously seen and you want to walk towards it but Tom is holding you back.

"Close your eyes." he says.

"Why?"

"Please, close your eyes."

You close your eyes and let yourself be led by Tom through the doors into the room.

"Okay," he says and stands behind you, his arms around your waist and chin on your shoulder.

"Open them." he whispers in your ear.

You open your eyes and what you see takes your breath away.

"Oh my God, we have a private pool?"

"And sitting area and best of all, it has a built-in Jacuzzi."

You free yourself from Tom's arms and walk through the room, the ceiling is at least three meters high and from left to right are windows that let in the sunlight during the day but now, at night, the huge open space is illuminated by the moonlight and it's really beautiful. On the long side steps disappear into the water and to the left is an increase where you can sit on. Suddenly a sob leaves your lips and you bite your lip, but you can not keep the tears inside and in a flash Tom is next to you, arms around you, pressing you against his chest.

"What is wrong?" he asks worried.

"No, nothing is wrong, everything is perfect." you mutter.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't know, hormones I guess."

Tom leans slightly backwards to look at you, he smiles and wipes away your tears.

"Fancy a swim, then?" he asks.

"I have no swimsuit on."

"I'll have you out of it faster then it takes you to put it on anyway."

Tom takes the hem of your shirt to pull it off you.

"I'm having a flashback."

"Oh yeah?"

His hands go to your pants and he opens it to slide it off your hips and when it is around your ankles you step out while you kick off your shoes and you push Tom backwards.

"Hmm, our first evening together in our home."

Now your hands move under his shirt and you push it up so you can take it off him.

"Oh yeah, that's right."

You hands wander down and you make quick work of his pants and slide it down.

"Fancy a reenact?"

You stand on your toes and kiss him in his neck, making him tremble under your lips.

"Absolutely."

As you walk backwards you push down your slip and then you open the clasp of your bra to let it slide off your shoulders, meanwhile, closely watched by Tom with eyes that look at you eagerly. You walk via the steps into the pool and when you stand at the bottom, you look up to Tom, meeting his lustful gaze.

"God, with the moonlight shining over your naked body like that you seem like an angel." he breaths.

"Then move your sexy ass down here and convince me that you deserve a place in heaven."

Without hesitation he pushes his boxer off his hips, dives into the pool and he breaks the water surface right before you. He slowly comes up and looks at you intently. Your bodies are nearly touching each other and Tom moves his hands through his hair before they frame your face and he kisses you deeply. Slowly he moves one down, over your arm, your side and it slips over the curve of your buttock before they go to your hip and he lifts your leg up to lay it around his hip and you place your arms around his neck so you can lay your other leg around his hip too. Then the kiss deepens even more and Tom's arms tighten around your frame before he walks to the edge of the pool with you to push you against it. Your slip your fingers in his wet hair and you pull on his curls, making him groan in your mouth. You feel his erection pressing against your stomach, hard and throbbing and you tilt your hips to make it clear that you want him inside you, now. Without breaking the kiss he aligns his erection against your opening and rolls it inside you in one go. You moan and feel how he begins to thrust fast and hard, immediately touching your bundle of nerves and you move along with the rhythm. His hips pin you against the wall while his hands slide up and cup your breasts while his thumbs slowly caress your nipples. The sensitivity of them has only grown worse in recent weeks and you feel shocks go through your body and end up at the place where Tom's erection pumps into you harder and deeper and when you feel you are approaching orgasm you tug his curls again. Tom thrust a couple of times deep and hard and together you reach an explosive climax. You stand a moment, breathing heavily, and when Tom's flaccid penis slips out, you shiver in his arms, and when he looks at you he sees that your eyes are closed.

"Let's get you to bed, hm?" he says.

You sigh a little and feel how Tom walks out the pool with you in his arms he grabs a large soft bath towel and places it around the both of you, he rubs you dry as good as he can giving your position and lays you in bed to crawl in next to you and his arms close around your waist and he pulls you against him.

"I love you, darling." he says and presses a kiss upon your shoulder.

When you wake up the next day you see on the alarm clock that it is mid-morning, normally you're both already up, or at least Tom but because it got pretty late last night he is still in deep sleep. You lie on your side and support your head with your hand to look at him. He lies on his back, your eyes wander from his face to his shoulders, his chest and back to his handsome face and you wonder how you could have withstand him for two years, how you could have kept him at a distance for two years, that you have been able to suppress your feelings for him for two years. And how he could wait for you for two years, years that wouldn't always have been easy for him, you know very well that there must have been some female fans bold enough to whisper indecent proposals towards him or slip him their phonenumber, especially after reprising his role of Loki in The Avengers, which caused his star to skyrocket to unprecedented levels. Not that he'd ever tell you that, as a gentleman would never do, but he does not have too because you have after all, been one of those women who dreamed about being in his bed, in his arms and in his heart and realizing where you are now, on your honeymoon in and amazing country with the most amazing man you have ever known, that he really wants you in his life, that he choose you above all those other women, to be his confidante, his friend, his lover, his wife and the mother of his children makes you feel very honered and very special. 

You smile and you snuggle against his side, arm over his waist and head on his shoulder making Tom stir and you feel his arm slip around you drawing you tighter against him. You kiss his chest and soon fall asleep again. The next time you wake up the place next to you is empty and you sit up, calling his name but you get no answer and you slide off the bed and wrap a sheet around your body and push the corner between the sheet and your skin to hold it in its place and you walk into the living room. Also empty, then you hear noise coming from the adjacent room and you walk towards the pool area. When you walk into the room you are greeted by a beautiful sight. Tom is swimming, strong muscular arms cleave their way through the water and your eyes slide over the muscles moving under his skin. When he reaches the edge of the pool he lays his arms on the edge and looks up.

"Hey." he says.

"Hey, back." you say and smile.

Tom answers your smile and hoists himself up out of the pool and your eyes slide appreciatively over his wet body and you blush when you see that he's naked.

"You're naked." you say before you know it.

"Yes, I am," he says and walks to the lounge chairs to take a bath towel to wrap his lower body in,"but the only one who can come in here is you and you also happen to be the only one that is allowed to see me like this."

He now stands before you and gives you a kiss, then he takes your hand and leads you to the corner where a table is and then you see that there is a rich breakfast displayed on it; bread, baked pastries, eggs, coffee, orange juice, croissants, cold meats and a bowl of fresh fruit and even whipped cream. And there's one chair.

"One chair?" you ask.

"Yes, that's enough." he says.

He sits down and pulls you into his lap, both legs on one side, then he picks up a strawberry and dips it into the whipped cream to then hold it up before your mouth. You open your mouth and sink your teeth in the fruit, the juice seeping through the corners of your mouth down your neck and over your collarbone. Immediately you feel his tongue sliding over your body to lick the juice and you moan softly.

The rest of breakfast passes quietly, you situate yourself on one knee so that you both can eat and sometimes you look outside. You have the most amazing view of the city beneath you and you can't wait to explore it with Tom. Breakfast ends as it began, with Tom feeding you pieces of fruit, you can taste that it's all fresh and probably picked and sliced that morning. When you take a piece of pineapple in your mouth you let your tongue slowly rotate around his finger while looking at him and you hear his breath falter. His finger is pulled with a plop from your mouth to be replaced by his lips. During the kiss Tom's hand explores the sheet around your body and when he finds an opening his fingers slip inside and caress the inside of your thigh and when you wriggle in his lap you already feel him hardening against you but when you spread your legs for him, he pulls his hand back.

"I suddenly remember something." he says.

"What?" you say and kiss his neck.

"In the plane you said you had a surprise for me, something I would get when we were here."

"Oh yeah, that's true." you say and suck the spot just below his ear and he shudders beneath your lips.

"It is already mid-afternoon, too little time to see anything."

You smile and look at him.

"Give me a few minutes and meet me in the bedroom." you say.

You kiss him deeply before getting up from his lap and walk to the bedroom to change clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> translations:
> 
> je vais bien->I am fine


	61. chapter 58

When you go into the bedroom you close the door and walk to the walk-in closet where your clothes hang, you kneel down next to your suitcase and pull out a plastic bag. You take out the clothes and keep them up, you smile and wonder how Tom will react when he sees you. It is the most challenging and sexy underwear, or rather lingerie which you've had. You walk into the bedroom and lay it on your bed while you remove the sheet from your body and let it fall beside the bed. You pick up the bra, pulling it on carefully followed by a string and you finish with the stockings which you connect with you string. When you're done you walk to the huge mirror and stand before it to look at yourself. The bra is made of two layers unlined lace, which overlap each other and through the stirrups and the preformed cups your breasts are pushed up against each other. Above each cup runs a strap that gracefully comes together in a bow between your breasts. Your string is also of unlined lace with a graceful bow on the front and finally your stockings that end halfway up your thigh with a 5 cm stril of lace. While you look at yourself you feel more beautiful and sexier then ever, and when Tom knocks on the door you turn yourself with a jerk.

"Can I come in?" he asks.

"One more second." you say.

You walk over to the bed and crawl on it, you lean sideways against one of the bedposts and lay your arms behind your body and curl your fingers around the bedpost.

"Okay, I'm ready." you say.

The door opens slowly and when Tom walks into the room and his eyes land on you he stops mid-step, his eyes instantly slide over your body and you see the blue color change to black. You cast your eyes down and feel yourself blushing under his intense gaze and when you look up at him again he has his hands clenched into fists, and you know that means he has to restrain himself not to jump you.

"I take it that you like what you see, my dear husband?" you purr.

"Oh yes, very much.....you are truly breathtaking, so beautiful," he slowly walks towards you and his hand cups your cheek,"and I feel so terribly honored that I may call you mine."

He leans forward and kisses you tenderly and softly, his lips feel perfectly while massaging yours and while his tongue slides over your lip his arms encircle your waist and directly land on your buttocks to pull you against him. Because of the hight of the bed your crotch is at the same level as Tom's and you feel his clearly present erection and when you grind your hips up against him you feel it twitch and you chuckle against his lips. Slowly he retreats and his eyes rake over your body again.

"You, ma femme chéri, will be the death of me." he says.

While his fingertips move lightly over the lace of your bra he moves around to the side of the bed but when you want to turn with him he stops you.

"No, stay like that, you have after all dressed up so prettily for me and I think it's only fair that you at least allow me to enjoy my surprise while I take you."

His eyes go to the wall and when you look ahead you see what he means. The mirror in which you looked at yourself is aimed precisely so that the bed is seen in it, and when you hear a rustling sound you know that Tom dropped his towel. He climbs onto the bed and sits behind you and your eyes meet in the mirror, he kisses your shoulder and smiles at you. He situates you in a way that you're in the middle of the bed and in front of the mirror and he places his knees between your legs and pushes them apart. His fingers caress your arms and end with your fingers, and he intertwines them with his. He brings them up and puts them against the bedposts at about the height of your head.

"Keep them there."

You nod and Tom's fingers ghost down over your arms and his lips kiss your neck and shoulder while his arms go around your waist and creep up to cup your breasts in his hands. You sigh longingly and lay your head in your neck while his fingers massage your breasts and his lips go up and he bites into your earlobe.

"Look at me." he says.

You look at him in the mirror and the raw look in his eyes makes your breath hitch in your throat, meanwhile his hands keep kneading your breasts.

"I want you to look at my hands, see how my fingers bring you pleasure, how they touch and caress you, can you do that?"

You nod and your eyes slide to his fingers, fingers that still knead your breasts and when he sees that you obey him, they go down and then up again to slip under the cups of your bra to caress your nipples. He rolls his hips forward and you feel his erection slide between your legs over the thin fabric of your slip and when it makes contact with your clit you groan.

"Qu'est-ce que tu voudrais? Tell me what you want me to do?"

"I...." you say hoarlsy and lick your suddenly dry lips.

"Come on, don't get shy on me now, darling."

"Touch me." you whisper.

"I am touching you." he says.

"No, not there ... I need you ...."

"Here?" he asks, rocking his hips forward again.

"Yes."

"Well, how can I deny my beautiful jeune mariée something?"

One of his hands disappears from the cup of your bra and it moves down, it slips into you slip, closely followed by your eyes. You bite your lip, just the mere sight of his hand inside your slip and the contours of his long thin fingers that caress your clit almost bring you at a height and when you feel a finger dip inside you, your muscles already tighten around his finger.

"Oh no," Tom says and pulls his finger back, making you whine at the loss, "you can not cum yet."

You're breathing heavy and your eyes follow his fingers that following the outline of your moist lips, alternately caressing your clit and pushing a finger inside.

"You are so lovely, so magnificently, y/n, just watching you in something like this and knowing you did it just for me, pour mon yeux seule makes me feel so proud." he then kisses your shoulder.

He fingers curl in your slip and he slips it down your legs and he helps you out of it, then he moves them to the closure of your bra to open it and you want to drop your arms to let it slide off your shoulders but Tom stops you.

"No, stay as you are."

His hands slide the cups up over your breasts and he weighs them into his palms. One of his hands moves down and he caresses your clit again, a satisfied groan leaving his lips when he discovers that you're still wet. He pulls your hips back a little and aligns his erection against your opening to push it inside you in one slow move, your breath falters in your throat and your eyes look at the hand that slides around your waist and begins to attack your clit. His hips remain rocking into you and you feel his breathing across your shoulder and finally at your neck.

"Look at me," Tom waits until you look at him and he is smiling, "I alone am allowed to see you like this, to make you moan like this."

"Only you." you gasp.

"Personne sauf moi."

"Never."

You feel your orgasm coming, Tom notices it and thrust harder and deeper within you, the finger at your clit speeds up and his other hand cups your breast and squeezes it. Your eyes go to it, and you see the other breast bouncing wildly, the whole picture takes your breath away and moaning you fall over the edge, and Tom with you. He collapses against your back, breathing heavily and his fingers caress your body that shocks beneath his touch because you're still sensitive from your orgasm.

"Come here, my darling," you let yourself be pulled back, under the covers and in his arms,"you're unbelievable, you know that? Buying sexy lingerie just for me, not that you need it to seduce me because even in a sweatpants and a sweater you could easily do that too but I liked it. "

"Good, I liked to wear it, it made me feel beautiful, sexy even."

"To me you're always sexy, darling."

He kisses the top of your head and you chuckle against his chest.

"How about we take a bath?" he suggests.

"Or the Jacuzzi?"

"Whatever my beautiful wife wants."

"Oh god." you say and shiver in his arms.

"What?"

"What you said; your wife."

"Well, you are."

"I know, but .... when you say it, I still can not believe we're really married, I have to pinch myself to believe it sometimes."

Tom reaches for your hand with the wedding ring and he holds it up so you can see it.

"This is proof that you're my wife, you belong to me, and this," he says and shows his wedding ring, "is proof that I belong to you. All you have to do is look at it to believe it so stop hurting your beautiful body, darling. "

"Okay."

You want to settle against him but suddenly one arm slips under your knees and the other around your waist and he lifts you up, quickly you lay your arms around his neck and look at him as he walks out of the bedroom with you in his arms.

"Where are you going?" you ask.

"To the Jacuzzi." he says

You laugh and he walks with you to the Jacuzzi to set you on the edge of the floor and steps in first, then he reaches out his hand and carefully you step in too. Tom sits on the increase and pulls you in between his legs, his arms move around your waist, and he puts them on your stomach and yours go to his knees and put your head back against his shoulder. One moment you sit like that, without saying anything, just enjoying each others company, his arms around you, his warm embrace that never fails to make you feel safe, secure and loved. You feel your body is utterly relaxed and your eyes close but suddenly you gasp for breath and your head comes up with a jerk and your hands tighten around his knees. Tom is surprised by your action and his breathing hitches while his arms tighten their grip around your body.

"What is it?" it sounds worried.

"I felt the baby again."

"Really?"

"Yes."

You feel the fingers of one of his hands move over your stomach while you look at it, your eyes become large when the baby seems to follow the caress on the inside of your abdomen.

"I don't feel anything." he says, a little disappointed.

"Do that again." you say.

Tom repeats the motion with his hand and as before you feel the baby make the same move.

"I do not know if it is possible but, it looks like the baby follows you touch."

"It does?" he asks, surprised.

"Yes," you smile,"your already bonding, that's so sweet."

"I can not wait until she is born, that I can finally see her and hold her, she will be beautiful." he says and nuzzles your neck.

"What's with the she's?" you ask.

"I still want a little girl who looks like you and will be just as beautiful as her mother."

"Yeah well, it's not your decision to make, is it? Because if we could I would make sure that she will inherit your eye color and curls."

"The name is our decision, may I make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"If it's a girl, I want to give her a middle name, Patricia." he says.

"Okay, that's a nice name. Do you have a reason?"

"That is the middle name of my mother, and her mother and grandmother, it's been in the family for a long time."

"Okay, I'm fine with that, I may also suggest something?"

"Sure."

"I'd like to call her Lucy."

You hear Tom chuckle behind you and you smile, you open your mouth to explain but Tom speaks first.

"It's because of Lucas, isn't it?"

"Yeah, he did save my life a couple of times and the life of this child, if he had not been there that night.... I dare not to think about what could have happened."

"Then don't, and I think it's okay. So, Lucy Patricia Hiddleston it will be then, I like it." he says.

"Me too, for a girl with curly hair and blue eyes."

Tom smiles and kisses your shoulder and you turn your head to look at him. There are a few small kisses and finally you nestle yourself contentedly against him. When your stomach starts to growl you decide to eat in the bedroom and Tom calls room service while you move back to the bedroom, you are in a top and slip and Tom in a boxer. When the food arrives Tom rides the cart inside the bedroom and places it against the side of the bed and you take your time eating.

The next day, you and Tom are up early, and around ten o'clock you arrive at the Pusa Hill Forest. It is really hot and you are dressed in a light blue dress with sunglasses and Tom wears a short jeans with shirt and sunglasses and to prevent people from recognizing him, he wears a cap. After having passed some stands you walk down a paved road and finally arrive at the beginning of the forest. Despite it being a busy touristic location you come across a few people every minute, which gives you the opportunity to occasionally steal a kiss from each other and acting like newlyweds. It's a stunning location, everywhere narrow paths slither there way through the woods and sometimes you come past a waterfall. After a few hours of walking you find an open spot and decide to eat something, you and Tom sit down and while Tom puts down his backpack and grabs the food you grab a bottle of water and drink it almost completely empty.

"Are you okay?" Tom asks.

"Yeah, just a little hot without the trees that shield the sun."

"You want my cap?"

"No, that's not necessary." you say.

You wipe the sweat from your forehead and close your eyes for a moment, you take a few deep breaths and when you feel two arms move around your waist you sigh and lean your head against his shoulder.

"Are you sure?" he asks and feels your forehead,"you feel really hot."

"Well, it is hot, Tom." you say a little harsher then you wanted.

"Okay, I'm sorry." he says.

You feel him sliding away from you but you grab his hands to stop him.

"No, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you like that, I'm just...my head hurts a little too...I should probably just eat something."

"Okay."

The personnel of the kitchen has prepared several Indian snacks for you and one is even better than the other and for the first time you are the one who eats more. After eating Tom cleans everything up and you lean back to lie in the grass.

"They probably don't do this for all the guests." you say.

"I should hope not, but they know who I am and that this is our honeymoon, they just want to make it as memorable for us as they can."

"Well, I'm fine with that."

When the sun is blocked you open your eyes only to be facing with bright blue eyes that look at you, Tom leans up to give you a kiss and your arms go around his neck. You feel his hand sliding up over your leg and he plays with your hem before it slides up further and slips under it to rest on your buttock where he squeezes it before hoisting your leg over his hip.

"Tom, we can not do this here."

"Unfortunately," he says and kisses your neck, "you're just too irresistible, especially in a little dress so I can easily acces your best body part."

You look around you but see nobody so you allows him to move on, lips kissing and biting your neck and fingers caressing your hip and when you notice that your body responds to him you slowly push him away from you.

"Okay, that's enough, before we are removed due to inappropriate behavior." you gasp.

Tom laughs and lets go, he stands up and reaches out his hand to help you up and when you stand you let him go, but your suddenly wavering and Tom quickly grabs your hips to support you, looking at you worried.

"Probably got up to fast." you say.

"How's your head?"

"Still hurts."

Before you can do something he takes his cap and put's it on your head.

"What if someone recognizes you?"

"Then I give them an autograph and a photo if they want, I'd rather do that than having you faint."

The rest of the afternoon is fairly quiet, there are indeed some people who recognize Tom and he gives all of them an autograph and when they ask, a photo. They mostly leave you alone and when you are approached it is to congratulate you with the wedding and pregnancy. When you come back at the hotel you walk to the reception to say that compliments should be made to the kitchen staff for the delicious snacks. Back in the room you first take a shower to afterwards go into New Delhi city center for something to eat. It has become dusk and fortunately not as warm and fingers intertwined you walk into a small cozy restaurant. The waiter brings you to a secluded table and gives you the card before he asks what you want to drink, you order a juice and Tom a Jameson. When the waiter is gone, he turns to you.

"You know what the first thing is I'll do when our baby is born?"

"What?"

"Letting you drink champagne."

"Tom, you know I'm not a drinker."

"Yes, but you have so many different kinds, I'll just find a sweet one for you."

"I don't even know if I can while breastfeeding."

"Ask the gynecologist."

"Yes, I will."

Tom's eyes glide through the restaurant and suddenly you see a soft look in his eyes, you follow it and see that he is looking at a little boy about three years old who is in a corner of the restaurant playing with some wooden spoons and forks. He only wears a short, has dark hair that curls at the end and thin lips, and when he looks up, you see that he has bright green eyes.

"Wow, that boy has gorgeous eyes," you say and look at Tom, who seems to not hear you, "Tom?"

"What?" he asks and looks at you.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"Yes, fine, and indeed, his eyes are really beautiful." his eyes wander back down to the boy on the ground.

You look back to the boy and now there is a woman of about your age with him, with a smile on her lips, dressed like someone who works in the kitchen. The boy stretches his little arm towards Tom and the woman looks up to see what he points to but when she makes eyecontact with Tom her smile vanishes from her face. Your eyes go to Tom and the two look at each other and somewhere in your gut you have the idea that the two know each other. Suddenly the woman lifts the boy to almost run away to the kitchen. Tom slowly turns his head forwards and he bites his lip. You reach with your hand over the table and put it on his, and he looks at you.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Of course, why do you ask?"

"I do not know, I got the impression that you and that woman know each other ...."

"No, do not be ridiculous, where would I know her from?" he says.

He starts to play nervously with his napkin and you frown your eyebrows, you've never seen him so nervous and you lean against the back of your chair.

You fold your hands together in your lap and clear your throat what attracts his attention and he squeezes reassuringly in your hand.

"Really, it's nothing."

"If you say so."

"Yes I do, please, this is our honeymoon, darling."

"Okay."

During dinner you notice that Tom's eyes keep wandering around the restaurant and you can not help feeling that he is looking for the boy and his mother but they remain in the kitchen rest of the evening. He is also very quiet, quieter than usual, and by the end of the meal while you walk out he suddenly collides with someone. You look down and see the boy standing, he looks up at Tom, bright green eyes, curls, the thin lips, your imagination is running wild with you and your hand unconsciously rubs your belly where your baby grows.

"Hey little guy ...." Tom begins.

"Tariq, you can not just ...." the voice trails off when the woman notices that the boy is standing with Tom.

She comes up slowly and when her eyes meet Tom's she puts a step back, she takes Tariq's wrist and pulls him back.

"Sorry." she says, looking at the ground.

"It does not matter," Tom said quickly.

Almost automatically he ruffles the hair of the boy which produces a laugh and Tom and the woman look at each other again. You feel strangely not at your place at the scene and you scrape your throat, Tom and the woman look up at you and smile shyly.

"Oh, uh, this is my wife, y/n." he says.

You nod to the woman and she lifts the the boy up again and places him on her hip before she puts a step backwards.

"Have a nice evening." she says before walking away.

Tom nods and grabs your hand to take you out and while you later walk hand in hand through the streets of New Delhi you take all the magnificence and splendor of the metropolis in you and you smile, doing your best to forget what happened at the restaurant.

"I'm glad we came here, New Delhi is beautiful. Thank you for taking me here"

"I'll take you anywhere you want to go, darling."

Tom pulls you at him to kiss you before you walk further. When you come back at the hotel you drink a little at the bar before you go back to the hotel room and take a quick dip in the pool. While Tom makes a few laps you look at him, leaning against the wall and when he swims towards you you open your arms for him and he closes his arms around your waist and lifts you up. You put your arms around his neck and your head on his shoulder, and when you close your eyes you notice how tired you actually are. Tom rubs his hands over your back and kisses your forehead and you feel his smile against your skin.

"Tired?"

"Yes."

Tom hums and walks out of to the pool and into the bedroom, he puts you in bed and lies down next to you and his arms snake around your waist and he presses you against him, you vaguely hear how he whispers in your ear how much he loves you and how thankful he is that you are in his life before you fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so what do you think about the name?
> 
> translations;
> 
> ma femme chérie;my darling wife
> 
> Qu'est-ce que tu voudrais;What do you want
> 
> jeune mariée;bride
> 
> Personne sauf moi;Nobody but me


	62. chapter 59

When you wake up halfway through the night, you feel a strange feeling in your stomach, a kind of tingling feeling and you carefully wriggles out of the safety of Tom's arms and slip out of bed. You walk into the livingroom and suddenly you rush to the toilet. You fall down on your knees thinking you have to vomit again but nothing comes, just to be sure you keep sitting like that but nothing happens and when you stand back up you stay where you are for a moment, just to be sure and when still nothing comes you walk back into the livingroom and look outside the window. You place your hands on your bump and your thoughts go back to earlier that evening, that boy, that woman, the way Tom responded to her.

"What's wrong?" he suddenly hear a sleepy voice asking.

"I thought I had to vomit." you say without looking at him.

"You thought?"

"Yeah, I had that feeling but nothing came."

"Is it the baby?" he asks and you see his image in the window coming closer.

"No, it feels different."

"Different how?"

"I don't know," you sigh and take his hand to lead him back to the bedroom,"let's get back to bed."

You lay down in bed, Tom's arm wrapping around you and pulling you against him, kissing your shoulder.

"Something else is bothering you." he says.

"It's that woman and that boy."

You hear him sign behind you and you turn to look at him.

"It was just the way you reacted when you saw her and then you introduced me to her."

"That's called manners."

"No it's not, you don't introduce me to people you don't know, Tom." you say.

Tom sighs again and lies down on his back, you lie on your side, supporting your head with your hand and you pick the sheet.

"Who is she?" you ask.

"Her name is Luisa, I met her four years ago when I was here promoting Thor." he says."It was one time, just one night and I was so drunk. I know that we were partying with the cast and crew because the film was such a success. Eventually only Chris and I where left, we drank, danced and suddenly there she was, she was so beautiful, she began to dance with me in a way that makes it clear that she wanted more than just a dance and I found it incredible that such a beautiful woman noticed me. I was not used to being treated like a star, like a celebrity and certainly not that such a beautiful woman has an interest in me so I let myself be seduced by her, I let her take me to a room and .... I do not even remember what exactly happened."

"That seems obvious given the fact that a child was born out of it." you say.

He looks at you and you see the dismay in his eyes, the pain and sorrow with the fact that he has fathered a child with another woman. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, darling, it was long before I met you, otherwise it would never have happened, I swear."

"I know, it does not matter." you say.

"Yes, it does, it was stupid, so stupid."

"Chris was there, he knew this?"

"I do not know, I woke up in a hotel room, not where we stayed but another, smaller one. Leah was gone, no note, nothing. I got dressed and went back to my hotel to wash and put on clean clothes. I haven't said anything to anyone, not even Chris, as far as he knows it remained with dancing. I'm so sorry" he leans towards you to give you a kiss,"try to get some sleep."

You nod and close your eyes.

The next day you feel slightly better, you still feel strange and sometimes a little light in your head but you push it aside. You decide to go to the Sarojini Nagar Market, it's a neighborhood in South West Delhi district. You expected to see only stalls with herbs and food but you can also buy clothes, designer clothes but also the most beautiful Indian clothes. Some stalls that are selling clothes even have complete fitting rooms. You wander hand in hand through the market when suddenly someone grabs your other hand and automatically pull your hand back and lean against Tom's side, who wraps an arm around your waist.

"It's okay, they always do that here." he says.

"Sorry, I just didn't expected it." you mumble.

"That's okay, he didn't mean any harm."

"Beautiful woman, clothing fit?" the man says.

"Oh, I do not know." you say hesitantly.

The man points to clothing in his stall, you see the same designer clothes as in the other stalls but also very beautiful Indian dresses, the man sees it and instead of taking your hand, he reaches out his hand to you while he looks at Tom and it is clear that he seeks his permission. Tom looks at you and raises his eyebrow.

"He does have many wonderful Indian dresses." you say and bite your lip.

"They will look gorgeous on you."

You smile and take the hand of the man and he lets you go to his stall. You walk to the dresses and various garments, you let your hand glide over it, the fabrics are very different, one is stiif the other soft and the third is very light. Ultimately there are three dresses that you like the best, the first is an, as the vendor says, a white Salwar Kameez with embroidery on the neck and at the bottom of the kameez. It includes a beautiful matching printed scarf/dupatta and churidar pajamas, the second is a Kurti whose top is azure blue and the bottom deep yellow with in between a wide lace white band and the third is a very elegant dark purple Anarkali with beautiful changes in the bodice and transparent sleeves. You turn around and you look at Tom.

"Which one do you like best?" you ask Tom, who is leaning against a table.

"I love them all, and whatever you wear it will undoubtedly look stunning on you."

"You're no help." you mumble but give him a wink.

You take the dresses back to the fitting room and show each dress to Tom and the vendor, as you had expected Tom finds everything beautiful and you are on your own. You find it very difficult and you feel arms slip around two waist and a kiss in your neck.

"Why do you not buy them all, it is our honeymoon, darling, you can indulge yourself a little."

"Honeymoon?" the seller says and looks from you to Tom and back again, "buy three, pay for two."

"Oh, well ..... in that case I think I will buy them all." you say.

While the vendor starts to wrap them all up for you, you give Tom a quick kiss before you pay him and together you walk away. The rest of the day is spent wandering about the market, with some stalls you taste different Indian delicacies varying from food to drinks and at the end of the day you arrive back in the hotel room. You bring your clothes to the bedroom and put them on display on the bed, you put your hands on your hips and frown your eyebrows. You smile when Tom's arms circle around your shoulders and he presses a kiss on your head and your fingers curl around his arms.

"Which do you like best?" you ask.

"I think the white one, or the purple one but the azure yellow is also very beautiful, I do not know maybe you should once again show them to me. A private fashion show appeals to me."

"I believe that right away," you say, "and I know the perfect location."

"Tell me."

"The pool room, with the moonlight that shines through the windows."

"Hmm, I do not think I can keep my hands to myself for very long."

"Why do not you go on ahead then I surprise you with one of these dresses."

"Okay, but please do not let me wait too long darling."

"I won't." you promis.

He turns your face towards him and gives you another kiss before he walks away and leaves you alone. When he's gone, you pick up the dress with inlaid figures in the bodice when you suddenly feel that tingling sensation in your belly again and your hands rub over your belly while you breathe deeply. When the feeling has subsided you dress yourself and walk to the pool room, Tom is dressed in his jeans and shirt, hands in his pockets looking outside and you look at him for a moment, the moonlight shining on his face and you admire the beauty that is your husband since a few days. Then he turns his head and his eyes find yours, your smile and walk over to him, you see that there is a stereo placed on the table and you frown your eyebrows.

"Music?" you ask.

"A dance." he says.

He reaches out his hand and you let yours slip into it, Tom lets his eyes slide over your body and hums admiringly.

"Breathtakingly." he says.

He leads you to the middle of the area and when the singer begins you smile and look up to him, meeting sparkling blue's. When the music starts to play your smile and he gathers you against him and together you dance through the open space.

Fly me to the moon  
Let me play among the stars  
Let me see what spring is like on  
Jupiter and Mars

In other words, hold my hand  
In other words, baby, kiss me

Sometimes he turns you both into a circle and occasionally he playfully pushes you away to pull you back and to let you go underneath his arm to end in his arms again.

Fill my heart with song  
And let me sing forever more  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true  
In other words, I love you

During the last verses you hear his voice softly singing along in your ear. You close your eyes and sigh content, losing yourself in the music and Tom, his smell, his body against yours, the safety and security that you always find in his arms.

Fill my heart with song  
Let me sing forever more  
You are all I long for  
All I worship and adore

In other words, please be true  
In other words  
In other words  
I love you

"I love to dance with you like this, it feels so good to have your arms around me."

"And it feels good to have you in my arms, my darling, I love you so much."

When the song is over he kisses your forehead and when a new song starts playing you do not recognize it right away.

"Muse."he says.

War is all around  
I'm growing tired of fighting  
I've been drained  
And I can't hide it  
But I have strength for you  
You're all that's real anymore  
I am coming home now  
I need your comfort

From this moment  
From this moment  
You will never be alone  
We're bound together  
Now and forever  
The loneliness has gone

States are crumbling  
Walls are rising high again  
It's no place for the faint-hearted  
But my heart is strong  
Because now I know where I belong  
It's you and I against the world  
We are free

From this moment  
From this moment  
You will never be alone  
We're bound together  
Now and forever  
The loneliness has gone  
We've gone against the tide  
All we have is each other now  
I'm coming home now  
I need your comfort

From this moment  
From this moment  
You will never be alone  
We're bound together  
Now and forever  
The loneliness has gone

We're bound together  
Now and forever  
Loneliness has gone

After the song, his hand lowers to your buttocks and he squeezes it gently, you smile and look at him, eyes now dark look at you intensely.

"Are you all right, my darling?" you ask.

"Yes, just very ....." he pushes you up against him and you feel the outline of his erection against your thigh, "excited."

"I feel it, and I have not even done anything."

"You also do not have to do anything, the very fact that I have you in my arms, so close, is enough to make me mad with desire."

You look up at him and the way he looks at you takes your breath away, it is a way that you have always dreamed that a man would look at you one day, full of love and affection. Suddenly Tom dives down and kisses you passionately on your lips, you're a bit surprised by the kiss but soon you kiss him back deeply, he bites lightly in your lower lip and then lets his tongue go over it and you open your mouth for him. His tongue goes straight in and finds yours soon. Meanwhile, Tom has lifted you and walks with you to one of the deck chairs to straddled it with you in his arms. You still kiss and vaguely you notice that Tom's hands leave your body to do something else and just when you want to break the kiss to ask what they are back again. One on the small of your back and the other wraps itself in your hair, he leans back and pulls you along with him until he lies on his back. You moan into his mouth and arch your back when you feel a hand moving up and starts to massage your breast. Tom breaks the kiss and he pulls you over him to kiss your neck and you feel his hand leaving your breast to disappear under your dress and he moans when he notices that you do not wear a slip.

"Fuck, y/n..."

He pushes the dress up and bunches it up around your waist and you roll your hips forward, feeling his body jerk and his breath hitch through the stimulation of his erection.

"I need to be inside you, please..." he gasps against your neck.

You sit up straight and slide a little bit back, you open his jeans and pushes it with boxer from his hips, then you put your hands beside his head and look at him. His hands slide over your legs and take your dress along, he slides it up over your hips, breasts and eventually your head and he throws it on the ground. His breath catches in his throat when you lean back and he sees that you're naked under the dress.

"My God, you only miss your wings, my angel." he breathes.

You smile and lean forward again to kiss him.

"I like it when you call me that."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." you say and your kisses stray to his neck.

"Better then darling?"

"Hm, I like both."

"How about we combine the two then, my darling angel?"

"Even better."

You feel how he lines his erection against your opening and slowly you lower yourself until he is fully within you. You moan and place your hands on his chest and lay your head in your neck.

"Fuck me, Thomas." You sigh.

You hear a smothered noise escape his lips and his hands grab your hips before he pulls up his knees and puts his feet flat on the seat to make sure he can place force in his thrusts. He immediately finds your pleasure spot and you shiver, you lean against his legs and place your nails into his thighs, his hands slide up and cups your breasts, thumbs caressing your nipples gently and you open your eyes to look at him you bite your lip and instantly his hand comes up and tugs it from beneath your teeth only for you to suck his finger into your mouth, tongue swirling around the digit and softly biting the tip making him moan low in his throat and his thrust to falter. You wiggle your hips impatiently and the thrusts increase again in speed and power, and you move to the rhythm which Tom sets, making circular motions. Tom's hands wander all over your body, leaving goose bumps in their wake and you lean forward to kiss him, Tom's hand weaving in your hair and the other ends at the spot where you are connected. He caresses and presses your clit until you feel your orgasm approaching and when you feel Tom throb and twitch inside you, you can't delay it any longer and you fall over the edge. Tom thrusts a few times deep inside you and follows you over the edge. You lay your head on his shoulder while his hands rub up and down your back and you shiver under his touch, Tom feels it and chuckles, kissing your head before standing up with you in his arms and he walks to the bedroom to get you into bed and to quickly crawl in next to you.

The next day you visit the Asola Wildlife Sanctuary, it is about an hour away and when you arrive Tom has arranged that you have a guide for the day that shows you around and explains the various parts. Normally they only do that in groups but because you and Tom want to walk around undisturbed, they make an exception. The guide tells you that the main Attraction is the Conservation Education Centre (CEC) in the Forest Department building in collaboration with the Bombay Natural History Society and Government of NCT Delhi. Here you can get a comprehensive package of information on Flora Fauna and also on how to help to conserve them. There are about 193 species of birds from Asola along with large number of medicinal plants, more than 80 species of butterflies, hundreds of other insects, mammals like Blue Bull, which he explains is the largest antelope of the country, Blackbuck, the fastest land animal surviving in the wild in the country, Black-naped Hare, Porcupine, Civets, Jackals, Jungle Cat and so on.

The guide is very extensive in his tour and by the time you say goodbye to him it is at the end of the afternoon, during the ride to the hotel you get hungry and decide to go to the Dilli Haat Food and Craft Bazaar. When Tom has parked the car and you get out you do not know where to look, because it is dusk everywhere lights are burning which give the place something magical and behind each stall people are working on their items that they then will sell. When Tom's hand grasps yours you look at him.

"I knew you'd like it."

"You have been here before?"

"Yes, during the promotion of The Dark World, along with Chris, we walked around for hours, ate, drank, bought things. Come on, we ate at this small restaurant, it was really one of the best dinners I have ever had."

"What can you tell me about this place?"

"Well, as you can see there are artists working on their crafts everywhere and then sell them. That goes on until late into the night and in the morning they sit there again."

"Why do they not stop at five o'clock or something?"

"Because it is swarming with tourists who are attracted by the lights and the aroma of the food at all times, if they continue to late into the night, they can sell a lot more than when they close at five."

"That makes sense."

Tom leads you through the stalls and after walking for a while, he points to a restaurant on, Taste of India, and you walk in. After the waiter gave you drinks he wants to give you the menu but Tom says he wants a variety of different small appetizers on a large plate. The waiter nods and walks away and you look at him quizzically.

"That is what Chris and I had too, it is a large round plate with delicious food varieties from the cuisine of every part of the country, you'll love it."

"So there is also spicy food among it?" you ask and rub your hand over your bump.

"Yes, but not all, I take the spiced ones and point you appetizers that are safe, and I will be sure to ask for a bottle of water," he says with a wink, "you still feel that tingling in your stomach?"

"No, not so often."

You talk a bit before the waiter sets the plate in the middle of the table and Tom keeps his word and divides the board in half, the spiced appetizers on his side and the more sweeter and more lenient for you. It is too much for both of you and some appetizers are left before the waiter removes the plate and Tom orders something and when the waiter is gone Tom looks up and suddenly he reaches around the table to your chair and pulls it towards him, he puts an arm on the back of your chair and the index finger of his other hand he lays under your chin to your turn to face him and he kisses you softly on your lips before he looks at you.

"I wish we could stay here together, forever, just you and me." you sigh.

"Me too," he says, "but we still have a few days."

"Hmm, and you also promised me a few days in bed." you say.

"Oh and you will get them, darling, don't worry."

Just when he wants to kiss you again the waiter clears his throat and you look up, he places the pudding before you, a round plate with raised edge filled with a red substance in it.

"What is that?"

"A traditional Indian dessert, it's very sweet."

Tom scoops a little bit on his spoon and holds it before you, you lean forward and take it in your mouth and once you taste the mild sweetness on your tongue, you can not suppress a groan and close your eyes.

"Oh God, this is delightful." you say.

Tom chuckles and grabs a spoon and spoon together you spoon the scale empty and when your licking off the the last bit, you suddenly feel Tom's hand on your thigh, and you look at him.

"You know, I would love you to saunter through the streets with you, but I think I'd rather go right back to the hotel." he says, eyes already getting slightly darker.

"Pay the bill and let's go then."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments make my day!


	63. chapter 60

The next morning you wake up from tickling in your neck and you mumble something and turn away from the touch to nestle deeper into the sheets. You sigh pleased but that is short-lived when the tickling starts again and this time you recognize Tom's stubble.

"Please, just a little bit longer." you breathe.

"Darling, it's nine o'clock in the morning, you have been in bed for almost ten hours." he says, and you hear the concern in his voice.

"You know I love to sleep."

"Yes, I know, but ten hours, even for you that is a lot."

You sigh and know that he is right, you turn on your back and look at the ceiling before looking at him.

"What's wrong?" he asks.

"My stomach, that feeling is back, it's worse this time."

"Since when?"

"Last night it woke me up and I had to vomit twice." you say softly.

"Why did you not wake me?" he says and lays his hand on your stomach.

"You could not do anything."

"I could have held you, could have whispered sweet nothings into your ear ...."

You roll your eyes and you weave your fingers with his on your belly before you lie on your side and pull your knees up. Tom's other hand pushes a stray strand of hair out of your face and he leans towards you to kiss your forehead.

"Does it hurt?"

"No."

"Do you have other complaints?"

"No."

Tom stands up, making his fingers slip from yours and walks out of the bedroom, when he comes back a moment later he sits back down on the edge of the bed and grabs your hand.

"There's a doctor on the way." he says.

"What? No, I do not need a doctor, I've probably eaten something bad, it is not the baby," you say and sit upright abruptly only to have white spots appearing before you and your hand goes to your head, "ouch. "

"I know that it is not the baby but there is clearly something wrong with you and I wanna know what so we can do something to make it go away, and I can give you those days in bed that I have promised you." he says, his eyes twinkling.

You laugh and at that moment someone knocks on the door, Tom gives you a kiss before he opens the door and a moment later, he walks into the bedroom with the doctor behind him. The man smiles at you and sits down on the edge of the bed, you get up slowly so that the man can do tests with you and he also asks you questions. You notice that the man speaks English very good and when you say this he smiles and tells you that there are several doctors working for the hotel who should speak at least two languages; Indian of course but also one foreign language. The doctor asks how long you are pregnant and when you say that you are approximately five and a half months far he nods and he looks at you.

"There is nothing seriously wrong with you, but for the next few days I would only eat food that is prepared in the hotel and indicate that it should not be seasoned."

You frown your eyebrows and look at him.

"I have not eaten food that was seasoned the past few days, I normally don't eat that."

"No. I thought so but India's food has always herbs in it whether it's spicy or not, there's always something in there. Your stomach is not used to it so after a few days it goes into uprising, one could say." he explains.

"So her stomach is just upset?" Tom asks.

"Yeah, I see this often, people from Europe must get used to the food and also the climate, one does that more easily than others. Like I said, only cooked meals from the hotel and indicate that it should not be seasoned, and much drinking and take it easy and you should be fine. There is no danger for your child." he adds.

While the man cleans up his attributes you lie down again, and when he's finished you thank him and Tom brings him to the door. When he comes back he opens his robe and lets it slip from his shoulders, he climbs into bed beside you and lets an arm go around your waist and he kisses your shoulder.

"I'm sorry." you say.

"That's okay, I can imagine worse things than lying in bed with you, darling."

You weave your fingers with his and he squeezes it gently.

The next time you wake up you are still firmly in Tom's arms, you turn carefully and see that he is still asleep. The peaceful expression on his face makes you smile and you put your hand on his cheek and caress his lips. He instantly responds to you by leaning into your touch and he smiles against your fingers.

"Hey you." he says.

"Hey."

Tom sighs deeply and stretches but holds his arm firmly around you while he turns on his side too and looks at you.

"How do you feel?"

"Good, better than this morning."

"Well, that's good."

He covers your hand with his before he brings it to his hand to kiss. Suddenly, you push him on his back and staddle him, you let your hands slide over his chest while you kiss him and you feel his hands slide up your thighs and then slowly over your back.

"I love you so much," he whispers into your mouth.

"I love you, too," you say

Your arms go around his neck and you push yourself closer to him and when Tom lays his hands on your buttocks and draws your closer to him too, you feel how hard he is.

"Hmm ..." you moan.

Tom lets his hands slide in your slip and squeezes your buttocks, he leans forward and bites through the cloth of your top into your nipple and you feel his heat through the material. He lets you go a little so he can pull his pants down while your right hand wraps around his dick, and you massage him gently.

"Oh, that feels so good," he moans.

While Tom pulls aside your slip, you come forward and lead his dick against your slit. Tom groans and with one hand he pushes you against him tightly so he slides inside you completely. You throw your head back and Tom kisses your neck and your nipple again. You place your hands next to his head and fist the sheets and you push yourself firmly against him. Tom has his hands under your top so he can squeeze your breasts. He pulls your top up over your breasts and he strokes one as he kisses and pulls the other with his teeth. Sometimes he bites into your nipple and pulls it gently with his teeth which makes a groan to escape from your lips. With each thrust he slides deeper inside you while you look at him and what you see makes your breath hitch. It's a look of passion, love adoration and affection. That look always makes your feel warm inside and you realize just how lucky you are for having Tom in your life to love you and that you can love him back, unconditionally. He pushes inside you harder and faster and you sit up so you can push your hips closer to him with each thrust. You feel him go deeper and when his hands move down and carres your swollen belly you shiver at the sight.

"Oh Jesus, almost ..." you gasp.

"Ainsi putain de serré, si bon ..." Tom moans.

"Oh, yes ..."

Tom lets his hand slide down and strokes your slit, you push yourself further back so he can go even deeper.

"Oh god ... yes, yes ... so ... close ..."

Tom strokes your clit again and pushes you over the edge, he feels your walls clench tightly around his dick and you pull him over the edge.

"Oh yes." he gasps.

He continues stroking you until you can no longer handle it and you take his wrist to stop his hands from wandering over your sensitive bode making him chuckle. 

"I love how sensitive you are right after." he says.

You smile and lie down next to him and you realize that you're more tired than you thought and soon you fall asleep. When you wake up again you still lay in Tom's secure arms and you turn around to crawl closer to him, you feel Tom's arms tighten around your waist and you snuggle yourself in his warmth. One of his hands go up and he cups back of your head while the other lovingly rubs your back and slowly you feel yourself drifting back to sleep. At that moment you feel the baby kick and you look up when you hear him gasping for breath, Tom looks at you with wide eyes and you're wide awake.

"Did you ...?" you start, but the huge grin on his face says it all.

"Yes," he takes some distance from you and looks at your belly, "I felt it."

You laugh and lie on your back, Tom lays his hand on the spot where he felt the kick and almost immediately he gets treated to another kick and a delighted cry escapes from his lips.

"Oh god," he says, "that's amazing."

"I know."

You place your hand on his and the little one kicks again, Tom moves down and kisses your pregnant belly, which is answered with another kick.

"Hey, take it easy, or no, don't, I want to feel you, little one," he says, and promptly the little one kicks again, "I love you."

Tom looks up at you and leans on his hands so he can move over you, he kisses you on the lips before he looks at you.

"Et Je t'aime, Mommy, thank you so much for giving me the privilege that I can experience this."

He kisses you passionately on the lips, and after the kiss you spend the next two hours in bed, talking, laughing, caressing and occasionally being interrupted by a kick of the little one. When you get hungry Tom calls room service to order something and tells them urgently that it should not be seasoned but when Tom rides the food into the bedroom he insist that he inspects it first before you take a bite. When you finally can eat, you attack it like your starved and when you are done you let yourself sink into the bed content and you smile when Tom's arms circle your waist.

"What?" you ask.

"What do you mean what?"

"I can hear your wheels turning, what are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking of going back to that restaurant."

You turn in his arms and look at him.

"Want me to go with you?"

"No, I know it's not ideal to do such a thing on a honeymoon but I need to know."

You nod, you do not have to ask him what he needs to know because you know the answer already.

"I try to be back as soon as possible, okay?"

"Okay."

Tom leans forward and kisses your lips passionately, as if he wants to convince you that you're the only one for him and you smile against his lips.

"Will you fill up the tub for me before you leave?"

"Of course." he says.

He gives you another kiss before he walks away and turns on the faucets of the bath, when you hear the door shut you sigh. You do the math again in your your head, Thor was released four years ago, Tom has been here four years ago and met Luisa, her child is three, you squeeze your eyes shut and try not to not to think about the fact that the boy might be his. But what if it is, what could be the consequences for you, she undoubtedly knows Tom is very succesfull now and that he has money, would she want money? What if she wants you to take the child to London? To give it a better change on a good future? Is that even allowed? Taking a child from another country, away from his mother even with the consent of her? Your brain is working overtime and when you suddenly hear water sloshing you run to the bathroom and quickly turn off the taps, you undress and step into the bath and force yourself not to think about it, it is useless to go through all kinds of scenarios before Tom knows exactly what's going on and maybe the kid isn't his anyway. Or maybe it is and she doesn't want anything from him. But you highly doubt when it turns out that Tom is the father if he can leave the boy to his fate.

When the water has become cold you step out of the bath and lay a big fluffy towel around your body and dry your hair with a smaller one, when you pick up the brush and your brush your hair you hear the door open and close. Your eyes go to the door and the bit of living room that you can see and just when you stand in the doorway you see him with his hands beside him peering outside.

"Tom?" you say.

You get no reaction and walk over to him, halfway you suddenly hear him sigh.

"She says he's mine," he says and you stop breathing while he turns around,"I am so sorry."

"No, it's okay." you whisper.

"Really? Your not mad?"

"No, you are after all a man and you have your needs, like you said yourself, you were not used to being approached be woman and....well....things like that happen."

"You're unbelievable you know that? I love you so much."

Tom suddenly leans forward and claims your lips, his fingers bury themselves in your hair and you're a bit overwhelmed by his strength but let him have his way. He pushes you back until you are standing against the wall and his hands go down to pull off the towel with a sudden action. You let out a little squeal when he suddenly lifts you and thrust his hips against yours. You moan into his mouth, his tongue dominates the kiss and you happily give into him. Tom locks your ankles behind his back with each other, and he opens his pants and pushes it down with his boxer, he does not wait but immediately thrust his erection deep inside you. You gasp for breath, the stretch is painful and you bite into his shoulder, making him moan, digging his fingers into your inner thighs, pushing them out and opening yourself up more for him. This is not the sex as you normally have it, loving, tender and full of soft touches. It's sex with a meaning, he wants you to know, to feel that you are his life, that you're all he wants, all he needs, he wants to convince you of the fact that although he has a child with another this changes nothing between you. The thrusts are wild and uncontrolled and you whisper comforting words in his ear and caress his back. Tom quickly reaches his climax and you feel his muscles tense and relax under your fingertips. He buries his his head in your neck and keeps whispering that he is sorry and you keep whispering back that you understand.

The next day you feel a bit sore between your legs due to the rough treatment Tom gave you the night before and when you move his arms tighten around you as if he doesn't want to let you go.

"Tom.." 

"I'm sorry."

"Please stop saying your sorry."

"I just don't know what else to say," his eyes get something serious and you feel the fingers of one hand slide down your arm, "did I hurt you last night?"

"A little." you say.

"Please allow me to make it better."

His lips kiss your neck while his fingers slide further down and he lets them rest on the inside of your thigh, he massages it gently and you sigh, your legs fall open while his kisses move downwards. He takes his time for your breasts before descending to your belly and he kisses your bump affectionately before he settles himself between your legs and looks up at you between his eyelashes before he looks down and sees the blue marks his fingers left behind. You bite your lip and your hands fists the sheet, he puts his other hand on your other thigh and massages that too, his lips kiss their way down and when he arrives at your slit you groan and your hips come off the bed slightly.

"Hmm," he says and takes a deep breath, "si bon."

You do not get a chance to say anything before his lips close around your clit and the raw of his tongue scrapes over it, your cry out and press your head in the pillow, you feel his fingers open your slit and slowly one slips in and he pumps it a few times in and out.

"More." your breath.

Tom smiles against your sensitive skin and let's a second finger slide in but soon he has you begging for more. Three fingers are now pumping in and out, slowly, while his lips and tongue do the most sinful things with your clit. Quickly your feel your peak approaching and your hips come off the bed while your fingers fist the sheet so tight that your knuckles are white.

"Oh god, Tom...."

His tongue curls around your clit while his fingers now are deep inside you and caress your walls, an unprecedented feeling takes hold of you and you feel like you are floating in the air. When your orgasm rolls through your body it shocks and vibrates beneath him, begging him to stop, it's too much but Tom is relentless and continues to caress your clit with his tongue and lips while his fingers keep pumping into you until you get down from your orgasm. Exhausted, you lie on the bed while Tom kisses his way across your body and he claims your lips. You taste yourself on his lips and you moan into his mouth. He goes lying next to you and pulls you close to him. 

"I want you to meet him."

"What?" you ask.

"What? Is that such a strange request? Your my wife, he is my son, I want you to meet him."

You turn around which proves to be difficult because Tom refuses to relax his grip around your waist but finally you succeed to look at him.

"Yeah, I understand and sure, I'll meet him if you want but I don't know if I can deal with being in the same room as her."

"Why not?"

"Why not? Oh I don't know maybe because you've been intimate with her and a child was born out of it, your first child." you whisper.

"Darling, listen to me, I did not even know she was pregnant, I mean, how often does it happen that there is a conception the first time? And besides, this is my first child in my eyes," he says and rubs your stomach with his hand,"I've played with him at the restaurant."

"How is he like?"

"A delightful little fellow, really, so cheerful, so happy, always laughing."

"And she?"

"Difficult to read, one moment she is very kind and friendly, the next suddenly distant, as if she has difficulty that I'm suddenly there."

"She probably expected to never see you again, she was startled, that seems logical to me."

"I know that, I have know idea where she lives so maybe we could go to the restaurant tonight."

"Sure."

The rest of the day is spent visiting the Soutern Ridge Forest, a ridge in the National Capital Territory. The Delhi Ridge is said to be the green lungs for the city and protects Delhi from the hot winds of the deserts of Rajasthan to the west. It is also responsible for earning Delhi the tag of the World's Second most bird-rich Capital city after Kenya's Nairobi. The Old Delhi or Northern Ridge denotes the hilly area near Delhi University and is by far the smallest segment of the Ridge. Nearly 170 hectares were declared a Reserved Forest in 1915. Less than 87 hectares remain today, which is slated to develop as Biodiversity Park by the Delhi Development Authority. It was made into a Reserved Forest in 1914 and stretches from just south of Sadar Bazaar to Dhaula Kuan. It extends over 864 hectares, but some bits have been nibbled away. The North ridge, a part known as Kamala Nehru forest, is home to several historical monuments, namely the Flag Staff Tower, built in 1828, the Ashoka pillar, brought to Delhi by Firuz Shah Tughluq in 1356, the Pir Ghaib, a 14th-century hunting lodge and Observatory built by Feroz Shah Tughlaq, a Chauburji and a Old Baoli.

When you walk into the restaurants Tom again tells nothing can be seasoned. You look at your hands and realize that it must be burdensome for the chefs to cook separately for you and when you hear Tom say they should, if necessary use clean pans you protest but Tom holds a hand up and your silent. When the waiter is gone he looks at you and you bite your lip.

"I do not want to be a burden." you say softly.

"Honey, you're no burden, there's always someone who wants it otherwise, especially in hotels like this, they're used to it. It's not a problem."

He takes you hands in his and rubs his thumbs over your skin and you smile.

"If necessary, I will make it myself for you." he says with a wink.

"Oh ..." you say.

"I'm serious." he says.

"What? No, the baby."

"She kicking again?" Tom ask and his eyes begin to twinkle instantly.

"Yes, she's been quiet all day, but now she starts again, I hope she's quiet tonight and I can sleep."

"Well, if she is not then please wake me up so I can help you through the night." he says grinning.

Then Tom looks around but Luisa and Tariq are nowhere to been seen, when he looks at you again you smile.

"Go see if she is in the kitchen." you say.

Tom nods and gives you a kiss before he leaves for the kitchen and not much later he comes back.

"Tariq is somewhere upstairs in a room playing, Luisa is done in about two hours and seeing she can't be missed we have to wait. So, we eat first and then she will take us upstairs."

"Okay."

The food is delicious and after you have thoroughly enjoyed a dessert Luisa suddenly stands besides your table, Tom stands up and reaches his hand to you which you take. She leads you into a small room and when you walk inside you see Tariq is playing with some blocks and cars. When he sees Tom he smiles and leaves his toys abandoned to walk towards him. He clearly recognizes him and Tom lets your hand go so he can lift Tariq. You automatically start fiddling with your fingers. Your eyes go to Luisa and you see she is moving from one foot to the other nervously.

"Hey, Tariq, I want you to meet someone." Tom says.

He turns to you and Tariq looks at you with his big green eyes.

"This is y/n, can you say that? Y/N?"

Tariq repeats your name as best as possible, and Tom looks at you.

"Why do not we sit down." Tom suggests.

Tom goes to the mat which is in the corner and sits down on the ground, he let go Tariq and the boy begins immediately to play with his blocks and cars.

"Can you leave us alone?" Tom asks Leah.

She doubts but ultimately she walks away and closes the door behind her, Tariq looks at you with big eyes and you can not help but smile and then you walk up to them, you sit next to Tariq and the kid looks at you intently. He is suddenly and reaches his hand to you, his little fingers caressing over your face and eventually he looks at you, smiles. He sits down and starts playing with his blocks.

"What are you making?" Tom asks.

"Garage for cars." is the short answer.

"May I help you?"

"Yes, and you too if you want." Tariq tells you and gives you a couple of blocks.

When the garage is ready Tom and the boy start playing with it and the cars and you watch how Tom plays with the boy, and like in the past with Jason, he's very good at dealing with Tariq, as if it is automatic and second nature to him and it actually doesn't even surprise you. After having spent two hours with the boy he has wrapped you around his little fingers. By the end of the morning Tariq is a little restless and when Leah walks into the room again she lifts him up and Tariq starts whining a little while Leah looks at you.

"I've got to go to work, sorry."

"That does not matter." Tom says.

You notice that Leah avoids his gaze and she is very nervous.

"You can come to see him whenever you like, between two o'clock the afternoon and twelve o'clock in the evening I am in the restaurant."

"Okay." Tom says.

He ruffles the boys hair and says goodbuy to him and you do the same and when you look into his eyes you suddenly see they are different, one is brown and the other is a dark green.


	64. chapter 61

When you walk back to your room you let your hand slip from his and walk to the window.

"You okay?" Tom asks.

"Yeah, why?"

"You've been very quite."

"It's nothing." you say and turn around.

Tom smiles and walks towards you, letting his fingers slip under your shirt and to your back and he pulls you close to him, his lips claiming yours and his kisses are demanding. Your arms go around his neck and you press yourself against him, he pushes you into the bedroom and soon you feel the bed against your legs. He pushes you on the bed and when you want to pull him along he release his grip on you.

"Stand on the edge." he says.

You look at him quizzically, but he nods and his fingers loosen the buttons of his shirt to let it hang open while you stand on the edge of the bed.

"Can you see yourself?" he asks and nods in the direction of the mirror behind him.

You nod and put your legs slightly wider apart to keep your balance.

"What are you doing?"

"You will see." he smiles.

His hands grab your hips and he kisses your stomach before he looks up and finds your eyes.

"Take off your shirt."

You do what he says and you throw your shirt on the ground, his eyes go to your belly and he kisses it gently before his hands open your pants and his kisses go lower and slowly he slides the pants over your hips until you can step out of it. He throws it with your shirt and his hands slide up over your legs and go to your back to slip into your slip and they rest on your buttocks. He pushes them towards him and your hands slip into his hair to hold yourself steady.

"Grab the wooden beam above you." he says to you skin.

You look up and see a wooden beam that connects the two bedposts and curl your fingers around it, you look down again and Tom looks up at you through his eyelashes.

"Spread your legs, darling."

You do what he says and put your legs further apart, slipping one hand out of you slip and it moves forward to carress your slit volatile through the fabric of you slip and you bite your lip to keep a groan inside.

"Oh no, let me hear you, my beautiful wife." he says.

He rubs his finger over you clit, and this time you moan while your knees are already week, you feel your juices making your slip wet and Tom chuckles.

"And I've barely started." Tom mutters.

He curls his fingers around the waistband of your slip and slowly moves it down to end with your pants and shirt, when he grasps your hips your grip tightens around the wooden beam and while he kisses your pubic mound you feel his fingers at your clit, he caresses it fleetingly with his thumb and the index finger of his other hand slowly rubs along the entire length of your slit superficial. His lips move ever further down and eventually his tongue takes over from his thumb and at first touch you almost go through your knees. You feel Tom's lips curl into a smile and he keeps fleetingly caress your slit while his tongue keeps attacking your clit. The roughness of his tongue licking it, letting his tongue swirl around the little bundle and to then gently bite into it.

"You taste so delicious, like a drug, I can not get enough," he hums against your clit, the vibrations causing your whole body to tremble and he has not even breached you yet, "hold on tightly, my darling. "

He has barely said it or his finger slowly penetrates you. Your head rolls back with pleasure and if they have a will off their own your hips rock forwards and upwards. You moan loudly and you gasp for breath, Tom's free hand starts moving up and down your leg and he eventually ends up on your buttock to squeeze it. He leans back slightly and lets the hand on your buttock slide forward and his fingers caress the inside of your thighs.

"Your skin is so fucking soft, it's like silk."

His arms slip between your legs and slowly he lifts one leg to put it over his shoulder, his tongue attacks your clit again while you feel two fingers slide inside.

"Look in the mirror."

You do what he says and groan at the picture you see, you with a glazed look in your eyes, your body rocking back and forth, hips that move to the rhythm and Tom who stands between your legs. His tongue licks your clit and his fingers pump faster and faster inside you, soon you feel you are approaching orgasm and when you feel his thumb pressing on your clit a shock shoots through your body and your grip tightens around the wooden beam. Tom crawls on his knees onto the bed without stopping to lick your clit and pumping his fingers while your body trembles and shakes under his touch as you orgasm rolls through your body. His hands go to your waist and he grabs you, he kisses your clit again before he looks up.

"Let go."

You shake your head, are you sure that your legs will not carry you and you do not want to fall.

"It's okay, I will not let you fall," Tom says, reading your mind,"you know I would never let you fall, darling, je serai toujours capture vous."

You sigh deeply and let go of the wooden beam and Tom tightens his grip around your waist untill you sit astride his lap and your arms wrap around his neck. You gasp for breath when you feel his erection slide between your legs and Tom turns you so, so you sit sideways on the bed.

"Just a fair warning, I'm going to fuck you now." he whispers into your ear.

His words make you shiver while he nuzzles his nose against your cheek and turns your face to the mirror, you look into it and e/c meet clear blue eyes but your eyes go down when his hand disappears between your bodies and he sets his erection against your opening.

"Regard sur moi." he says.

Your eyes search his in the mirror and when they find them he pushing his erection inside you, your mouth opens but no sound comes out. Tom's eyes watch you intently as he slowly thrust up inside you. You are not able to look away from his eyes that look at you full of lust and desire, but you also see love and affection. Because you're still barely recovered from your orgasm your muscles immediately tense like a vise around his erection and he moans deep in his throat, his eyes close and his head falls on your shoulder, your fingers slip through his hair and you tug his curls. His hands slide towards your buttocks and with each thrust up, he pushes your hips towards him, soon you feel a second orgasm coming, Tom notices it and slows his thrusts.

"Tom ..." you cry.

"You want to cum again?" he gasps.

"Yes, please ...."

"Say my name."

"Thomas ..."

"Fuck."

The thrusts go faster and he bites your neck, it's enough to make you both climax, panting he turns with you in his arms and carefully lowers you until you lie on your back, he puts his elbows next to your head to keep his weight off you and he kisses the place he has bitten. You try to catch your breath until the little one makes itself heard, or rather feel, and you laugh.

"I think she wants me to get off of her mommy." Tom says.

Exhausted he falls next to you and his hand seeks yours, when he finds it his fingers lace with yours and he brings your hand up to his mouth to give it a kiss.

"I want a large mirror in our bedroom." you say.

Tom laughs and pulls your close, circling his arms around you en he kisses your head right before you fall asleep.

When you are in one of the lounge chairs a few days later, browsing in a magazine Tom comes to you and he sits on the edge of your chair and you look up from your magazine.

"I have to go downstairs." he says.

"Okay." you say.

"Do you not want to know why?" he asks.

"As long as you don't abandon me and my child."

"I would never abandon the two of you, darling."

"I know."

"I will not be long."

He leans forward to give you a kiss before he walks away and when you hear the door closing your thoughts go back to Tariq and his different eyecolors. You abandon your magazine and pick up your phone doing a quick search. You learn that the medical term is heterochromie, and that deafness and blindness normally follow but that does not apply to Tariq. And when you read that only two different colored eyes, with other symptoms are absent, is always hereditary you know that Luisa has lied, Tariq is not from Tom and an incredible sense of relief washes over you. Almost immediately you realize that when will learn that Tariq is not his he wil be heartbroken seeing he has become very attached to the boy in the last days. But not telling him is not an option, he deserves to know that Luisa lied to him.

When you hear the door open again you quickly put your ohone away and pick up your magazine again. When you see the smile on his lips you smile too.

"What are you so happy about?"

"I have a role in a new film." he says.

"What? How did that happen?"

"I have had contact several times the past two days with this guy, Marc Abraham, he has written a script about the life of Hank Williams, an American singer-songwriter, and he wants me to take the leading role on me."

"Just like that?"

"He knows my work and apparently I made an impression."

"Why did you not say anything?"

"Because it was not yet certain."

"And now it is?"

"Yes, the contract is ready to be signed, I told him that we are June 26 in Burbank, and he has suggested to come to our hotel on the evening before so that it can be signed."

"Congratulations!"

You get up and give him a hug.

"Thank you. It will be a challenge, though."

"How do you mean?" you ask and look at him.

"Well, first of all it is an American, and he sang mostly country and western songs," he says and takes you to the chair to sit down and he pulls you on his lap, "he was one of the main and most influential singers of the twentieth century. not only will I have to get an American accent but I also have to sing with it and sound like him."

"I'm sure you can do it, you are a master at imitating voices and about the singing that you can practice on our child, I have read that she can hear us already so you can start right away." you say and kiss his cheek.

"So, I suppose the movie is being filmed in America." you say while you catch your breath in each other's arms after having sex.

"Yeah, I do not know exactly when, I don't even know how the movie is called but Marc will tell me all I need to know in Burbank so I guess we'll hear it then."

You sigh and snuggle closer to him, in response Tom tightens his arms around your frame.

"I know what you're thinking but I will tell them that when I get a call from you that you are going into labor, I will drop everything and take the first flight out to be with you."

"Let's first just wait and see exactly how it is going to go, okay?"

"Okay,"you say and your fingers dwaw circles on his chest,"can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"You've been in a lot of city's while promoting films, right?"

"Right."

"Was there one that stood out?"

"Oh, that's easy, Rome."

"Yeah?"

"Absolutely, it is almost always good weather, beautiful buildings, old and new, the people are friendly, the food is delicious." 

"Sounds great." 

"It is, I'll take you there one day." 

"Do you promise?" 

"Promise." he says and gives you a kiss before you go to sleep.

The rest of the honeymoon you still visit the India Gate Lawns and the National Museum. From the moment you step over the threshold of the museum Tom changes into a little child that finds himself in a candy store. His eyes are beaming and you in his enthusiasm you can almost not keep up with him and twice you almost lose him from your field of vision, and to avoid that you really lose him you take his hand in yours. Normally you always get bored in museums, ever since you were a little kid, but you must admit that this museum is an exception. The way the various exhibits have been displayed is admirable and you let Tom lead you from one room to another. When Tom has finally seen enough, he takes you to a restaurant in a side street of New Delhi's main street and you enjoy a quiet intimate dinner between the two of you. After dessert you walk hand in hand to the hotel and after a dip in the pool you go to bed. 

You also visit Luisa and Tariq every other day and each day Tom gets more and more attached to the boy and you know you have to tell him no matter how difficult it is. When you are back in your hotel room later that day, you decide that it's now or never and you sit on the couch.

"Tom, come sit next to me, I have to tell you something." you say.

"That sounds serious." he laughs.

"It is." you answer and look at him.

Tom's smile disappears from his face and he sits down next to you.

"What is wrong?"

"It's about Tariq."

"What about him?"

"I have noticed that he has two different eyes colors."

"What?"

"One is brown and the other is green."

"Okay, so?"

"I have done research on the Internet, the medical term is heterochromie. When someone has different colored eyes they mostly also are blind and deaf but Tariq is not blind nor deaf and that means it's hereditary."

"What are you telling me?" Tom asks but you can see in his eyes he already knows.

"It means that one of his parents has brown eyes and the other green."

Tom gets a disbelieving look in his eyes and shakes his head, you reach for his hand but before you can take it he gets up and walks away. Halfway through the room, he stops and puts his hands on his hips.

"Tariq is not yours." you say.

"She lied."

"Yes."

Tom begins to pace and lets his fingers rake through his hair, you most preferably would want to walk towards him to lay your arms around him and hold him tight but you know him well enough to know that now is not the time.

"Why? Why would she lie about something like that?"

"I don't know Tom, you have to ask her that."

"Oh I will." he says.

He walks towards the door but before he gets there you run towards him and take his hand in yours.

"Where are you going?"

"To Luisa of course, I want to know why."

"I know that but not like this, okay, your upset and I get that but maybe you need to calm down first before you do or say something you will regret."

Tom looks away and breaths in deeply before he looks at you.

"Maybe your right."

"I am, I'm sorry, Tom, I really am, I know how close you got to him and he to you."

You bring his hand to your mouth to kiss it and he cups your cheek in his hand and leans forward to kiss you.

"Come on, let's get to bed." he says.

The next morning, you remain in bed a large part of the morning, after having breakfast you crawl under the covers again for some intimacy with each other. You take plenty of time to honor Tom's body with your fingers, tongue, lips, and here and there a whisperd word of love and adoration in an attempt to take his mind off the disillusion he got to process yesterday but he insists and when you try to overpower him he simple takes your hands and places them above your head in the pillow.

"I know what your doing and I appreciate it, but I want to please you too, I want to let you know how important you are to me. And besides, when you enjoy, I enjoy too, quid pro quo."

Tom kisses his way down your body and his hands let yours go to kiss and caress your bump your hands slip into his dark locks. Like you, he takes his time to worship you and when your trembling beneath him, he kisses his way back up. He seals your lips in a passionate kiss and then he lies down beside you. You crawl up against him and his arm moves around your shoulders to pull you closer. Your fingers draw circles on his chest and when you look up at him you see he's watching the ceiling.

"So, you want me to go with you when you confront Luisa."

"Would you mind? Maybe you could stay with Tariq, I don't want him there, normally I always stay very modest but I have no idea how she will react."

"Okay, I'll stay with him."

"Thank you."

An hour later you walk hand in hand into the restaurant, it's still early and Luisa is in the same room where you always see Tariq and when you come in and see Tariq playing on the rug Tom's tightens his grip on your hand. Luisa stands up and wants to walk past you, but Tom grabs her wrist with his hand to stop her.

"I need to talk to you." he says.

He looks at you for a little while and you give him a nod before walking towards Tariq to sit with him. When Tom and Luisa are gone you look at him, his green eyes looking up at you and he smiles and you smile back. He is now busy building a city and you take some blocks to help him.

"Where's Tom?" he asks after a while.

"He needed to talk to your mother," you reply, "nothing to worry about."

Together, you build the town and when you are ready, the door suddenly opens, you look up and see Tom standing.

"Will you leave us alone, darling?"

"Yes of course."

You look one last time at Tariq before you walk to Tom and give him a squeeze in his hand before you walk away and the door closes behind you. You walk across the landing when you suddenly hear someone crying in another room, you slowly open the door and see Luisa sitting on a sofa, head in her hands. You bite your lip but you go in and you go sit next to her when she looks up at you look at her you too.

"I'm sorry." she says.

"You're sorry? You let Tom believe that he has a son and the only thing you have to say is you're sorry?"

"I know it is unforgivable but I saw a way out for Tariq."

"A way out?"

"Yes, I can't offer him a future, I have barely enough money to give him food and clothes."

"So you saw Tom as ATM."

"No, you do not understand."

"Make me understand it."

"I just wanted a better future for Tariq, that after his school, he could learn a profession and get a good job so when Tom came here with the question whether Tariq was his son I saw an opportunity, and I took it."

"Well, I can't blame you for that, everyone want's a good future for their kids, Tariq is a great kid but the saddest thing is that if you had told him the truth from the beginning things might have ended different."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Tom is ambassador for Unicef, you know that organization?"

Luisa nods and you go on.

"He will always do everything within his power to protect children, so if you would have told the truth it would not have been unthinkable that he would support you and Tariq financially but I do not see that happening now. You have used one of the things that to Tom is holy; a little child."

"What van I say or do to make it better?" she asks and looks at you hopefull.

"Nothing."

Just when you stand up the door opens and Tom appears in the doorway, without even looking at Luisa he reaches his hand to you and you rush towards him to take it and together you walk out.

Back in your hotel room, Tom lets his fingers slip from yours and goes to the window to look outside. On the way back he has not said a word, and you know better than to ask. You fold your fingers together and walk towards him.

"Tom?" you ask, but you get no answer, you move one step closer, "Tom?"

His head turns to the side and you see his profile, but still he does not respond, carefully you step closer to him that you almost touch him.

"Talk to me, do not shut me out."

Before you can do anything he turns around and takes you in his arms, he pushes you so tightly against him that you can hardly breathe.

"Tom ..."

"Don't, please, just ...... just hold me."

You nod and lay your arms around his neck.

"Okay, it's okay." you say.


	65. chapter 62

When it is time to leave and you have packed your suitcases you walk through the suite one last time, it is really beautiful and you must confess that even though you've never had much need for luxury you surely will miss it. You place your arms around your waist and stare outside and when you feel two arms going around your waist you smile, Tom kisses your head and pressed you against him.

"You ready, darling?"

"Yes."

"Let's go then."

Tom takes your hand and you walk into the hall where a bellhop is waiting with your suitcases, he brings you down and loads the luggage in the taxi. During the ride Tom suddenly looks at you.

"Y/N?"

"Hm?" you ask and look at him.

"Maybe it's better if we keep this thing with Tariq and Luisa hidden, don't talk about it with anyone, I don't want to read about it in the newspapers."

"Sure." you say, understanding why.

"And I mean no one, not even Emma."

"Yeah, sure, I won't say, promis."

"Thank you," he says and reaches over to take your hand, making slow circles on it,"I aslo know why I don't remember sleeping with her."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't." he says and looks at you.

"What?"

"I didn't sleep with her, I was so drunk that the moment I hit the bed I fell asleep," he says laughing and you can't help but laugh too,"she tried to wake me but I was so far gone......so eventually she gave up and left."

"Well, it's her loss you know." you say with a wink.

"I don't know about that, seeing how drunk I really was."

"What about Tariq's father, did she say anything about that?"

"Not much, just that he was there some days after we met, everything went great untill she told him she was pregnant then he didn't know how fast to leave them both."

"I'm sorry for her."

"Yeah me too, it can't be easy, raising a child alone." Tom says and looks at you, you shift in your seat and take his hand in yours.

"That is different, your still there but just not with me."

"I know, but still, I dont like the idea leaving you alone with a baby."

"I know, and I don't like it either, we just have to make sure that the time you do spend with us, you spend as much as possible with our child, okay?"

"That's easy," he smiles,"but after I left, just let Emma help you, and Mum."

"I have a feeling I'm going to need them too, I ask myself sometimes when the baby cries then what needs to be done, diaper changing, bottle, pain, too hot, too cold ..... "

"Hey, it will come by itself, you will see that when the time comes that your mother instinct takes over, you automatically know what the child needs, you'll be a great mom. "

"Let's hope so."

Tom brings your hands to his mouth and kisses them before you arrive at the airport and walk across the airport, Tom behind the trolly with suitcases and you beside him. Meanwhile, it is well known that Tom Hiddleston is present and you must regularly stop because he has to sign autographs and to your surprise but also relief you feel more confident in front of his fans now. Maybe because they almost all give you a friendly smile and sometimes greet you while your hands involuntarily slide over your pregnant belly. Once in the airplane it is not long before it takes off and you are in the air. You sigh and stretch out while you close your eyes.

"I have never in my whole life been in a plane so often as the last 6 weeks." you laugh.

"I wish I could say the same."

"Well, it's not that terrible."

"You like to fly, then?"

"Yeah, I do, especially takeoff."

Tom smiles and gives you a kiss. You look at the screen in the seat in front of you and see some details, height, temperature, the expected temperature and time you land in Burbank. Once again you have a plane change in Amsterdam where you arrive after a flight of nine hours. This time you only need to wait an hour and after a flight of another fourteen hours you land in Burbank. The awards are handed out the next evening so you do not have a lot of time and therefore you are picked up by someone from the agency that handles your clothes. They take you to a building on the outskirts of the city and a lady takes you to fit dresses and Tom is taken by a man who takes care of his suit. When you come into a large room with mirrors on one side and on the other a screen behind which you can dress yourself you see several dresses hanging in a light blue color. All of them have an elastic band that runs underneath your breasts and make the top of your bump visible. A few also have an elastic strap that runs under your bump and point out you bump very prominent but you don't want that so they are pushed aside by you fairly quickly. Two dresses remain, one of which has a halter closing and the other spaghetti straps. You try them both and ultimately choose the dress with spaghetti straps and although it will be a hot summer evening you decide to bring a large shawl with you to lay around your shoulders and that covers your back and the woman who dresses you advises you to use a black one to match the color of Tom's suit. Once you've changed Tom comes walking into the room already changed clothes aslo, to take you to the hotel where you fall exhausted in bed almost immediately so you can get some sleep before Tom has his appointment with Marc. Tom has already called Ben who happens to be in Los Angeles for the awards and he and Sophie will pick you up the next day to go to the awards together.

You wake up when you feel a kiss on your lips and when you open your eyes you see Tom sitting on the edge of the bed, dressed.

"My appointed with Marc is in about five minutes." he says, pushing a stray lock behind your ear.

"Okay, good luck." you say.

"Thank you, go back to sleep."

You nod and close your eyes again, you feel how Tom presses a kiss on your forehead before you hear the door open and close and soon you sleep again.

When you wake up your arm moves to the spot next to you but you feel emptiness, Tom has not yet returned and you sit up straight, you rub your eyes and see that the alarm clock tells you it's almost midnight. You step out of bed and wander through the hotel room to eventually end up on the balcony, it is now blowing a bit and you wrap your arms around yourself, rubbing your bare arms. You lean against the railing overlooking Burbank, in the distance you see the lights of Hollywood Boulevard and your thoughts go to the next day. You know Tom's presence beside you will keep you calm but he will have to leave you at one point to talk to the journalists and, of course, to his fans. You wonder whether the presence of Sophie can keep you calm. You are startled when two arms slip around your waist and you are being pulled against a solid chest. Tom kisses your neck and you sigh content.

"What are you thinking about?" he asks.

"Tomorrow."

"It's going to be great, you'll be fine."

"As long as you stay with me but you have to go to the journalists and your fans at one point."

"Sophie will be with you."

"I know."

"And besides, there will be quite a lot of celebrities there, the journalists will hardly pay attention to you but if you get the jitters then look at me, I will ensure that you'll always be able to see me."

You smile and turn around in his arms.

"How was the meeting?"

"Well, I signed." he says.

"Congratulations!" you say and kiss him on the lips.

"Thank you."

"When does filming start?" you ask.

Tom sighs and looks away before he looks at you again.

"October." he says softly.

"Oh, well, that's uh.....great."

You smile and shake your head, you turn around but Tom strengthens his hold around your waist and stops you.

"I have said that you will give birth to our first child in October and when I get a call from you I'm gone immediately, regardless of the consequences."

"Have you said that before you signed?" you ask, and you hear the sarcasm in your voice but Tom does not seem to hear it.

"Yes, I immediately said that, and he finds it no problem, he even said that if necessary he will bring me to the airport himself, he realizes how important it is for both of us that I'm with you when our child is born."

"And then it takes at least twelve hours before you're with me."

"Emma's birth of Jason took 2 days." he says.

"And Levi's?"

"Five hours," Tom's says softly,"but the second child always comes faster then the first."

You lean against him and close your eyes, the idea that Tom might miss the birth of your first child you find a terrifying thought and also the idea that when you need him the most he might not be there, but you do not want him to put his career on hold for you, how difficult it is in this case and however great the temptation is to ask that of him.

"I can take a break from acting after I saw the Light, so I can help you and spend time with you and our baby." he says, rubbing your back.

"What if the role of a lifetime is offered to you then? Will you say no to that?"

"For you and the baby I will, I'll do anything for you."

"Don't make promisses you can't keep."

"I'm sorry." he whispers.

"It's not your fault, Tom,"you say and lean up to kiss him,"and I believe we have to celibrate something."

Tom smiles against your lips and you wrap your arms around him and kiss him and Tom pulls you closer to him. It never ceases to amaze you how good you feel in his arms, like you were made to be there. Tom's hands move down and he lifts you up while you wrap your legs around his waist and your hands move through his hair. He walks inside with you and pushes you up against the wall, rocking his hips forward making you feel how hard he already is for you and you moan into his mouth. Tom lets his hand go up and he caresses your breast through the fabric, you moan and tilt your head slightly, Tom kisses your neck and pulls the strap of your gown down to slide it of your shoulder. He kisses your shoulder and bits it gently.

He lets his arms snake around your waist, and you feel his hands gently slide down, he grabs your buttocks and pulls you against him and rocks his hips forward again. You groan and push your ankles in his lower back, Tom lets his hand slide down over your legs slowly and grabs your calves, he turns slightly and pushes you against the wall and presses himself against you.

"I want you so bad," you gasp, grabing his cock.

"Jesus, y/n" Tom moans.

"Shut up and kiss me."

Tom smiles and you are already unbuttoning his shirt and when your done you slide it aside so you can admire his muscular chest, roaming your fingers over it and feeling them twitch beneath your touch.

"Your so gorgeous." you whisper.

You lean forward to kiss his nipple gently a couple of times before slowly working your way towards the other, Tom groans and lets his hands go into your slip. He slips a finger inside and immediately finds your clit. You moan and open his pants. You push his jeans and boxer down and cant your hips forward, the tip of his cock brushing your wet clit making you both shiver.

"Fuck me," you almost beg him.

"Tout le plaisir est pour moi." Tom answers.

He sets you on a table before he pulls your slip down and pushes your legs apart to give himself more room. He quickly thrust his cock into you. You moan and lock your ancles around his hips. You lean back and close your eyes, it goes fast, the tempo is immediately high. You enjoy his trusts and you feel the slightly rough fabric of his shirt sliding over your knees, which only hightens the pleasure inside you. You open your eyes, and Tom leans forward to kiss you passionatly. With each thrust, you press him closer to you with your ankles. Tom's hand disappeares under your gown and he grabs your breast and squeezes it, making you moan.

"God I love to make you moan like that, ce son m'excite." He pants.

"Harder, please," You beg.

The trusts go harder and become wilder, the table shaking now.

"So good to fuck." Tom moans.

Tom grabs the table so that he can thrust harder, you feel your climax approaching and bite your lip so as not to scream, your muscles clenching around Tom's cock.

"So close, I ..." you pant.

Tom thrusts again and you fall over the edge, letting yourself fall backwards on the table while Tom keeps trusting inside you untill you feel how he empties himself into you. He falls over you, covering your sweaty body with his while he waits for you to catch your breath.

"Jesus," you pant.

You feel how he slowly slips out of you and you close your eyes for a moment, Tom's hands caress your body and you smile when you feel two lips kissing your pregnant belly and you look up at him. Bright blue eyes look at you lovingly and he smiles too.

"Take me to bed." you say.

Tom lifts you up and walks with you to the bedroom to lay you in bed and to crawl next to you, you snuggle up against his side and his arm slips around your shoulder to caresses your upper arm while the fingers of his free hand are linked with yours.

"I might not be able to promis you I will be there when you go into labor but I do promis you I will be there when it ends."

"Maybe the baby will come sooner then the due date so you're at home."

"Let's hope so, I want to be there for you, I want to help you."

"I'm going to need you to get me trough it."

"I know,"he says and kisses your head,"go to sleep."

The next day you're both awake early and after breakfast you decide to stay in the room for some quality time together before you have to share Tom with his fans and the rest of the world again. By the end of the afternoon you take a shower and while Tom shaves himself you carefully pull your dress on and when you put your shoes on, on you request a pair of ballerinas, you hear someone whistling behind you. You turn and see Tom walking at you with an appreciative look in his eyes.

"You become more beautiful with each passing day, darling."

"Thank you. It's just a simple dress."

"Yet you are beautiful, the media and my fans will love you."

"Let's hope so."

While Tom dresses you walk into the bathroom to apply make-up and put your hair up in a loose tail while leaving two long locks loose to frame your face and when you are ready and walk into the bedroom, it's your turn to whistle. Tom laughs and looks at you, the only thing left to be done is his tie and you pick it up from the bed, you go standing before Tom and tie his tie and then your hands move over the flaps of his jacket to smooth it out and you smile. When your done he reaches out his hand and you take it smiling. He takes you to the mirror and when you are before it and you see your reflection, you must admit that you look like a happy couple and the way your clothes are matched leaves no doubt that you belong together. When you hear a knock on the door Tom gives you a kiss and goes to the door to open it and while you grab your scarf you hear Ben and Sophie's voices. You walk towards the sound of the voices and Ben and Sophie give you a hug.

"Thank you for doing this." you say.

"Of course, we are happy to help." Ben replies.

"You look lovely." Sophie says.

"Thank you, you too."

You walk downstairs together and get into a taxi, Ben and Sophie in the first and you and Tom in the second. During the short ride you become very nervous and you pick your scarf but when Tom takes your hand and squeezes reassuringly you feel the tension flowing out from your body and you look at him gratefully. When the taxi stops, the driver gets out and Tom looks at you.

"Are you ready?" he asks.

"Yes."

He gives you a quick kiss before the door opens and he steps out, he turns to you and helps you out of the taxi, because Ben and Sophie stepped out before you, they capture the most attention and that gives you the opportunity to straighten out you dress, and when you look up, you see that the red carpet is about 10 meters wide, behind the fences are photographers taking pictures and journalists who interview actors and actresses. As you walk to Ben and Sophie you hold Tom's hand tightly in yours and together you walk down the middle. Soon you hear Tom and Ben's names being called by the attending press and the two wave smiling at the photographers. You look around and the flashes of the photographs make you a little dizzy, Tom notices it and leans slightly towards you.

"It's okay, you're doing great." he whispers.

You smile and you walk further, after about five meters the call for Tom and Ben becomes more urgent and the two look at each other, Ben gives a nod.

"Ready when you are." he says.

Tom looks at you and your eyes find each other and you nod at him, indicating that it's okay.

"Sophie will stay with you all right?"

"Okay."

He leans forward and kisses your forehead before he goes to the journalists together with Ben, you immediately feel the presence of Sophie beside you and you're glad she's there, her presence a reassuring force.

"You okay?"

"Yes fine."

"You're doing great, just keep breathing, that's the main thing."

You smile and breathe deeply in and out again, you rub your hand over your stomach and look around you and see to your relief that you are mostly shielded from the photographers by the many actors and actresses who stand at the gates. You and Sophie walk a little bit further and when you look in the direction in which Tom has disappeared, you see that he and Ben are speaking to several journalists. The men talk and laugh and for a moment he ventures a glimpse over his shoulder, and when your eyes find each other you smile to him to indicate that your doing fine. You draw your shawl a little tighter around your shoulders and relax. After Tom and Ben have spoken to a number of journalists they come walking back to you and Tom immediately takes your hand again and you walk further. Not much later you are being led to a place by a lady of the organization where you have to stand together so that the fotografhers can take photos of you and at the end they want to take some pictures of Ben and Tom together and you and Sophie take some distance from them. After the photografers are satisfield they both walk towards their fans who are waiting with pictures to be sighed. While Ben and Tom sign autographs and take photo's with fans you watch him for some time, it is not the first time you see him with his fans but it is the first time from the red carpet and the smile on the face of the love of your life does not escape you and you notice the change in him. With the media he is professional, talking about the role and the film, how the filming went, what was the most fun but when he is with his fans he turns into an almost little boy, charming, sweet, making jokes, laughter, the kindness himself. While you are waiting the baby starts kicking and your hands rub over your stomach and you look at Sophie.

"Are you okay?" she asks.

"The baby, it's kicking pretty hard." you say.

"Can you hold on for a couple of minutes more?"

"I don't know, I just....god...it's really acting up."

"You want me to warn Tom?"

"No, just...I already had him for myself for six weeks, just let him spent time with his fans, the deserve it too. Can you take me inside, I need to sit down."

"Okay, come on."

Sophie takes your elbow and guides you inside, you sit on a chair and lean against the backrest, you close your eyes and open them again when Sophie sets a glass of water before you. You drink the glass empty in one go and Sophie sits down beside you and she looks at you.

"Are you okay again?"

"Yes, thank you." you say and smile at her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tout le plaisir est pour moi; My pleasure
> 
> Ce son m'excite; that sounds so hot


	66. chapter 63

Your hands rub over your stomach and when you see something to your right, you see that Tom suddenly sits next to you on his haunches.

"Here you are, you were suddenly gone, I was worried." he says.

"Sorry, the baby suddenly started to kick, I had to sit down."

Tom puts his hand on your belly under yours and immediately the baby kicks again making him laugh. He pulls up a chair and sits down next to you.

"My fans wanted me to tell you that you looked very beautiful."

"They did?" you asks.

"Yes, they did. They said that the pregnancy makes you glow, they also said they hoped we had a great honeymoon and that the rest of the pregnancy goes okay. So I looked back at you but you were gone and apparantly my fans noticed my worried look and one told me that she saw you walking inside with Sophie and you where smiling but still...."

"He kept that worried look in his eyes so his fans told him to just go inside to see if you were okay." Ben finishes.

"That's nice of them."

"I told you; I have the best fans in the world." he says.

"Yeah, after mine."Ben says smiling.

"Shut up you." Tom says and throws him a smirk.

While waiting until you can go into the room your small group is growing steadily. Chris and Elsa join you, just like Ken, Robert and Scarlet. Everyone wants to know how the honeymoon was and how you are. When you can go inside the room Tom keeps holding your hand and stays close to you and you come to sit inbetween him and Sophie. The ceremony is very long and a bit boring but in the end they go over to the awards ceremony. The disappointment that Tom doesn't win the award is perhaps even bigger with you than Tom himself, and after you have taken leave of everyone you walk towards one of the exits. The press and fans are gone and the street is almost empty and you see why. It's raining, and hard. Tom and you look at each other and after someone from the organization called a taxi you run toward it. Laughing and drenched you jump into it and after a short drive you are back at the hotel. You dress clings to your body and your shawl, which you used to hold above your head is soaking wet. On the way to the elevator you are stopped by someone from the hotel.

"This was left for you," he says, holding up two plastic bags, "we have been so free to see what's inside, for safety and it are mainly articles of clothing and stuffed toys for the baby, I suppose."

You and Tom look at each other and Tom takes the bags and when the employee walks away you step into the elevator to go to the right floor. When you are in the room you take over one bag and look inside, there are bibs and rompers with images of Loki but also with Jack from The Pirate Fairy and various stuffed animals in the shape of Loki. Your favorite is one with a round stuffed head that has Loki's face on it and a body that consists of loose flaps sewn onto each other with a piece of paper between it. You look at Tom and see that he has some pacifiers a teething ring and various other things in his bag and when he holds up a tiny shirt which says 'youngest member of Loki's army' you look at each other laughing.

"You were right, you have the best fans in the world." you say.

After you have laid away the items you find yourself into two strong arms.

"You really must get out of those wet clothes before you get sick." he whispers in your ear.

"You too."

You take Tom's hand and lead the way to the bathroom, you undress each other slowly and throw your wet clothes in the bathtub. Tom's arms encircle your waist and slide down. He grabs your hips and, even though you are six months pregnant, he lifts you up effortlessly and while you start kissing his neck he walks with you in his arms to the bedroom and lays you on the bed to hover above you. His hands next to your head and he notices that your bump is in the way and he looks down.

"I guess that from now you'll be on top." he says.

You laugh and put your elbows on the bed to get up, Tom lies on his back next to you and helps you to sit astride him and while your fingers glide over his chest his slowly move down and rest on your hips. Your fingers carress his nipples lightly and Tom shivers beneath you.

"Sorry you did not win the award." you say.

"That's okay and besides I already won my most important award a long time ago."

"You did?"

"Yes, you darling."

You smile and look at him, your hand cups his cheek and you kiss his soft lips.

"Will it stay that way after you win an Oscar?"

"An Oscar?"

"Yeah, I'm sure you'll win one at some point, you have too."

"Even an Oscar can not compete with you."

His hands lovingly caresses your bump and his eyes go towards it and when you slightly come up his hands slide down, one rests on your hip and the other goes to the inside to caresses your clit. You moan and lay your head in your neck and your hips ride his fingers that penetrate you now, slowly and deeply. You can feel when the tip of his erection brushes against you slit and he rubs it over your lips and when you sink onto him in one move he moans deep in his throat. Tom grabs your hips firmly and thrust up inside you while you rotate your hips and you feel a shock go through your body. You've had lovers before, but with them it never felt as good and as complete as with Tom. When he whispers your name you get pulled out of your thoughts and you look at him, he smiles at you and you smile back, you grab his hand and lead it to your mouth to kiss. Your tongue darts out and licks his finger before you take it between your lips and suck, making that Tom's breathing falters in his throat and he increases the pace. You feel the familiar feeling of intense pleasure welling up in your body and soon he pushes you over the edge and it does not take long before he follows. You slide off of him and his arm goes straight around you shoulder in order to attract you against him and his other hand caresses your belly again.

The next day you fly to Belfast together where you'll stay a week to keep Tom company when he is not filming. The Bangor resort is gorgeous and has all the luxury you need. When you wake up on monday morning Tom is already gone and you sit up, slip from the bed and walk into the livingroom, relieved to see him standing in front of the window drinking his coffee. You walk up to him and slip your arms around his waist en you lay your head on his shoulderblade. Tom chuckles and takes your hands with his free one.

"I was afraid you had left already."

"Without saying goodbuy to my favorite girl? Wouldn't dare."

"I'm going to miss you today." you mumble.

"I'll miss you too." he says and turns his head to place a kiss on the top of your head. 

When Tom's finishes his coffee you yawn and sit down on the couch only to be joined after he put his cup in the kitchen sink, then you see on your phone that you've been called. You pick it up and look at the number. 

"Your mother called." 

"When?" 

"Yesterday evening." 

You bite your lip when you look at the clock. 

"Seven thrity, you think she would already be awake?" 

"My mother is always up before dawn." he laughs. 

You dial the number and it's fairly quickly picked up but not by the one you expected.

"James?" you ask and Tom instantly looks at you,"I thought I called Diana, but you are standing under her on the shortcut menu so ....." 

You frown your eyebrows while listening to his reply and Tom has now set aside his breakfast and has his body turned towards you. 

"You spent the night there?" 

Tom suddenly reaches for the phone but you quickly get up and walk to the window, Tom does the same thing but you manage to keep him at a distance. 

"You have been out last night." you say, and Tom looks at you quizzically,"opera and a bite to eat afterwards, that sounds nice."

Once you get your eyes off Tom, he grabs the phone out of your hands and takes over the conversation. 

"Dad .." 

"Tom!" you call. 

Tom raises his index finger to silence you, something he has never done before and you ball your fists beside you. 

"Dad, what are you doing?" he asks, and to your surprise you hear irritation in his voice. 

He walks over to the couch and sits down and you sit next to him, he listens for a while and finally he squeezes into the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. 

"Okay, but please ..... just don't awaken false hope with Mom." he says.

After he hung up, he gives you the phone back and you look at him, but Tom leans back and sighs deeply. 

"What?" you ask. 

"Well, it seems that they appreciate each other's company, they have done more things together the past few days." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah, museums, having dinner, shopping ..." Tom leans forward and runs his hands through his hair. 

"But is that not a good thing? That your parents suddenly get along so well?" 

"Yes, but .... mom never got over him, she always hoped that he would come back to her all these years. Even when she saw him with other women." 

"Women? Plural?" you ask.

"Yes, Emma has kept in contact with him and she told me things sometimes. He never needed to go looking, the women always came to him."

"Wow, I mean, your father is a handsome and charismatic man and I understand very well that the women love his company... but with none of those women it was seriously?"

You look at Tom while you wait for an answer but he says nothing, frowning he looks at you. 

"No, not that I ever heard of from Emma. With most of them, it was just a distraction, he didn't wanted to be alone."

He sits up and takes your hands in his.

"I'm sorry I grabbed the phone and silenced you the way I did." 

"That's okay, I understand that you wanted to talk to your father, you're just worried about your mother." 

"Yeah, she never stopped loving him, I do not want him to take advantage of it."

"I do not think your father would." 

"I hope so, I want him to know his grandchild." 

Tom smiles and places your hands on your stomach, you instantly feel the baby kick and you laugh. 

"Where does it come from? That they suddenly do things together."

"Since the wedding they realize how rare it is to find someone who accepts you as you are. And they realized that they have three children together and they have had many good times together." 

"Well I'm curious what it brings." you say. 

"Yeah, me too, but I have to go or I'll be late." 

He leans towards you and gives you a kiss before you walk him to the door and he turns to you. 

"Go back to bed, try to get some more sleep." 

"Okay."

He cups your cheek and gives you another kiss before he walks away and you go back to bed and when he comes home you turn towards him and your mouth falls open.

"Oh my god, your hair." you say.

"I know." he says, looking down and up at you through his eyelashes.

"It's blond, and your curls....gone."

"I know and I'm so sorry, it had to be done for the role, darling, but I promis as soon as it's done their back."

"They better be." you say.

"Listen, I invited Luke and Jeremy over for some drinks later tonight, they will be here in about an hour."

"What about dinner then?"

"Thought of that." he says and holds up Chinese,"as a peace offering."

You laugh and take over the food while you sit down on the couch and start eating. When Luke and Jeremy come in they first introduce themselfes to you before they go to Tom and when later Tom and Jeremy collect memories together outside on the balcony, Luke sits down next to you and you look at him.

"So, how does it feel to be married?" he asks.

"Not much different than not being married to be honest, the only difference is that you're wearing a ring and you have a piece of paper that says your husband and wife. And the pictures of course, the memories. It was a great day."

"I've heard all about it from Tom."

"You did?"

"Yes, in between filming he kept going on about your wedding and honeymoon and how great he finds it to be married to you and how much he looks forward to the birth of your first child."

"Oh, poor you." you say.

Luke laughs and sets his glass ont he table before he leans back into the couch and looks at you again.

"Don't be, it is a pleasure to hear Tom talk about you and the baby that you are carrying, with so much love."

You look at your belly and caress it with your hands and you smile, then you look at Tom who sits together with Jeremy on the terrace, talking and sometimes laughing. You and Luke talk some more and you soon discover that you find him a very kind and warm man, just like that first meeting with Tom you immediately feel at ease in his presence, he also tells you that tomorrow morning his boyfriend, Lewis, will arrive, so if you're in need for companionship when Tom is filming, you can always go to him. This is when Tom and Jeremy come back in and sit down.

"So, Tom just tells me that he begins filming in Shreveport, Louisiana in october and that you fear he is going to miss the birth of your first child." Jeremy says.

"Ah, yes. Even when I call him and he would leave right away, he would still need to buy a ticket, stand in line....and the flight takes at least 12 hours, then he still has to get to the hospital," you say, and you look at your hands that are still rubbing over your belly.,"but I am sort of hoping the child comes a little sooner so that he's home."

"What if I let Tom go with my private jet and tell the pilot he should stay on standby? Maybe he can even stay nearby the set with a car? That way, when you call him, he can be in the air in five minutes."

You look up, surprised and seek eye contact with Tom, he is also looking at Jeremy with wide eyes meaning that Tom didn't know about this either.

"You would do that?"

Jeremy laughs and first looks at Tom and then at you.

"Hey, I have four children and was there when all four were born but your first one remains very special, Tom should be there so if I can do anything to make sure he's there then I will and moreover your going to need him too."

"That would be great, thank you." you say.

"Thank you, Jer, really." Tom says, and you hear the gratitude in his voice.

"Then it's settled, let me know where and when the pilot must be ready."

The men leave for their own suite soon after because it was a long day and everyone is tired, the next two days are fairly quiet. When Tom comes home, he first takes a bath so he can let his tired muscles soak and then you eat something and not much later, Tom is already in bed. You often sit alone for sometime until you are tired enough to go to sleep and when you get into bed Tom is always sleeping. No arms that slip around your waist, no lips that kiss your shoulder, you're a little disappointed that you spend so little time with Tom on the other hand, you do understand, he works long days on set. Often he is gone before you wake up to come home by the time the sun sets. During one of the nights the baby is again very active and keeps you from your sleep and when and when you once again turn yourself you hear Tom sigh.

"What is wrong?" you hear him ask sleepy.

"The baby keeps me awake." you say.

"Hm .... kicking again?"

"Yes."

Normally, his hands would already lie on your stomach to feel it but now he does not even move to your regret. You miss his hands on your swelling belly, the soft caressing of his fingers that give you goose bumps.

"Do you want to feel it?" you try.

"I have to get up early tomorrow, try to get some sleep so I can get some sleep too." he replies.

You curl in on yourself, feeling alone and a little rejected and when you hear Tom's breathing even out and you know he is asleep you carefully get out of bed and walk into the livingroom. You drink a glass of water and sit down on the couch, the baby is still kicking and sometimes it even hurts a little. You move down the couch and lay on you back, hands on your belly, having every intention to go back to bed as soon as the little one settles down. Every two seconds you feel the baby kicking and before you know it your asleep. When you wake up your in bed and you reach out to the spot next to you only to find it empty, you roll on your side and sigh, fingers splayed out on the cold sheets where Tom used to be, realizing that he didn't even wake you or kiss you goodbuy. Then you see a note pinned to the pillow and you come up and the bones in your back protest, then you remember you were on the couch last night, you probably fell asleep there. You take the note and read it.

_You were sleeping on the couch when I woke up, you shouldn't do that, your six and a half months pregnant so I put you back into bed, see you tonight, Tom._

No kisses, no I love you's, no darlings, just see you tonight, You crumple the paper and throw it away and then walk to the bathroom and take a long hot bath. When you stand on the balcony with a glass of water the bell rings and you walk to the door to open it.

"Hey, sweetie."

"Hey Lewis." your sigh and walk back into the room.

The past few days have you been in the company of Lewis during the day and you quickly understood why Luke has fallen for him, he's sweet, funny and very caring. Also, he is very protective towards you even though he hardly knows you, always making sure you rest enough, that you drink enough making him remind you a lot of Tom. Lewis follows you out to the balcony where you sit on a sun lounger and you pull up your legs and fold your arms around it, leaning your head on your knee, Lewis sits down at the end of the chair and looks at you frowning.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes fine." you say but do not look at him.

"Why do you look like someone has died?" he asks.

You sigh and look up at him, he raises his eyebrows and waits until you start talking but when you remain silent he shifts and grabs you hands.

"Have you had a fight with Tom? What did he do? You want me to kick his ass? Cause I will, you know that right?"

"Yes, I know,"you say, smiling a little,"but no, we didn't have a fight."

"Clearly something happened. Come on, talk to me."

You tell him what happened last night, and that you understand that Tom is tired but you had expected more.

"Honey, you have been together constantly the last six weeks, days and nights, it makes sense that you miss the intimacy. Just give him some time to get used to these long days, his body has to adjust also."

"I know but I will be leaving in two days and then I won't see him for at least four weeks."

"Why don't you wait for him tonight with a hot bath and a good drink, put on some music, light some candles, set the mood and wear something sexy to seduce him."

"Lewis, I'm six and a half months pregnant! How can anyone find me sexy." you sigh.

"Tom loves you, no matter what you look like, he will always find you sexy, you know that."

"Yes, I know." you say, picking the cushion of the seat.

"Come on." he says and stands up.

"Where are we going?"

"To the reception, we are going to get ourselves pampered, you need it."

You laugh and you let yourself be lead by Lewis to the reception, you book a massage and a facial and at the end of the day you feel reborn. After having said goodbye to Lewis it is almost time for Tom to come home and you walk into the bedroom to put on the lingerie set you also had on on the first night in New Delhi, remembering how he reacted to that and you hope to get the same reaction despite the fact that it's a little tighter now. Then you put on soft music and light some candles, you decide to wait with the bath home until Tom is home, hoping to end up in bed instead or on the couch or up against the wall, anything to feel that intimacy again. You miss his lips, his fingers, his touch, not only the intimacy of it but you also miss his presence, his nearness, just being with eacht other without really doing anything. 

It is already dark outside and you get a little cold so you walk into the bedroom to grab a shawl and to lay it around your shoulders. Then you go back to sit on the couch and to wait for Tom to come home. It's getting later and later and your stomach rumbles now, you check your mobile phone if you have missed a message from him but that is not the case. You sigh and walk to the kitchen, on the way you blow out the candles and turn on the light and you pick a tub of ice cream from the freezer and a spoon from the drawer before walking back to the couch. Halfway through the tub of ice cream you suddenly aren't hungry anymore and you walk into the kitchen to put it back into the fridge. 

When you walk into the living room again, the door opens and you are suddenly face to face with Tom. You come to an abrupt halt, just as Tom and his eyes go over your body, mouth slightly open. Then he sees the extinguished candles and then he looks at you again. When he makes eye contact with yours you see the recognition on his face, realizing how you wanted to fill the evening and he takes a step in your direction but you put your arms around your waist and walk towards the bedroom. 

"No, wait, please."


	67. chapter 64

Before you get to the bedroom one of his arms circle your waist and he pulls you against himself, your back against his chest. You're still angry with him and struggle in his grasp but his arms only close tighter around your waist.

"Tom..." you start.

"I'm so sorry, if I knew you did all this...."

When you turn your head to look up at him you smell the alcohol.

"You've been drinking." you say and start struggling again.

"Yes, a couple of glasses with the guys...., please don't struggle."

"Then let me go, Tom." you say sternly and when he does your excually a bit surprised. 

You slowly turn around and look at him, when he takes a step towards you you step back.

"Please don't..." he says.

He reaches his hand to you but your eyes look at it like it's the enemy and the hand stops mid-motion making you look up to him again.

"So you have no time to give attention to me but you do have time to drink with the guys," you say, not even knowing whether you mean it hurtful or not,"God Tom, you knew I was waiting for you. You could have called or sent me a message."

"I know and I'm so sorry I didn't."

"Yeah, me too, I'm going to bed."

You turn around but suddenly Tom grabs your shoulder and turns you around crude, taking you by suprise and in a reflex you slap him in the face. You hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh and his face that snaps to the side and you lay your hands in front of your mouth, shocked by what you did.

"O my god, Tom, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean.....I...it's just, the way you grabbed me and turned me around...."

"I know,"he says and slowly looks at you,"and I should never have done it that crude but...I just didn't know what else to do to make you stay."

You already see a red spot appearing on his cheek and your hand reaches out to him, hesitant you place it against his cheek and he leans into the touch.

"I'm sorry, okay, please give me the change to make it up to you." he whispers and you hear the sorrow in his voice.

You sigh deeply, actually when you are honest you have already forgiven him from the moment his arms slipped around your waist but when you smelled the alcohol something just snapped inside you. Tom covers your hand with his and moves it to his hand to kiss it.

"Please." he whispers against the skin.

His kisses move from your hand to your wrist, your arm, upperarm and eventually he cups your cheek to turn your face to him. Instead of kissing you his lips kiss your neck because he knows this is your sensitive spot and he smiles against your skin when he feels a shiver go through your body. You prod him in his side and he laughs. 

"I'm still mad at you." 

"I know, I was a asshole and I deserved that slap in the face. I should have come home to you rather than having a drink with the guys."

"You can drink something with the guys if you want, but next time, let me now, okay, so I won't be sitting in candlelight listening to music dressed in lingerie waiting for you." 

"I'm so sorry, darling. I'll make it up to you, even if it takes all night." 

"When I keep you awake all night then tomorrow you can not concentrate on set, and I do not want you to get into trouble because of me although I think make-up will be mad at me for giving you that red spot." 

"That's precisely why we have make-up, they can hide it. And I will not be satisfied untill my lady is, so I will not stop before you are."

You remain silent and let Tom push the wrap of your shoulders, then leans back to let his eyes roam over your form and he licks his lips.

"You look beautiful, darling."

His fingers slip under the straps of your lingerie and he pushes it with his hands from your body. He leans forward and kisses each piece of skin which he exposes and finally he sits on his knees in front of you. His fingers caress your belly and his lips kiss your breasts. You missed the physical contact and tremble beneath his touch, Tom notices it and looks up at you through his eyelashes. Your eyes make contact with each other and he gives you a wink, he slowly gets up and pulls his clothes off, then he sits down on the side of the bed and pulls you in his lap, both legs on one side and you kiss while you slip you fingers into his hair and you immediately miss his curls.

"Don't worry, as soon as this film is done the curls will be back." he promises.

His fingers caress the inside of you thighs and automatically your legs move apart and he chuckles against your lips.

"Impatient?"

"I've just missed you." you sigh.

"I missed you too, darling, and I'm going to make you feel how much."

"How?"

"First I'm going to make you cum right here with my fingers and then I'll take you to bed where I will worship your body like a man is supposed to do with the woman he loves."

He proves his words right away when his thumb caresses your clit and a finger slips inside, you moan and bite your lip when a second finger slips inside and he spreads them. You close your eyes and concentrate on the feeling of his fingers inside of you and his lips in you neck and soon you feel your climax approaching. He caresses and massages your clit and when he presses it you fall over the edge, you roll your hips down, riding his fingers to hold onto that feeling as long as possible and you whine when he lets his fingers slip out.

"More is still to come, darling," he says,"how am I doing so far?"

"Hm, pretty good."

He gets up with you in his arms and lays you down on the bed and Tom crawls over you, covering your body with his, one arm goes straight around your waist he presses you firmly against him, his hard erection against your swollen belly and your hand goes to it but Tom grabs your wrist.

"No, not yet." he says.

He brings his hand up and kisses the inside of your wrist as he looks at you. He settles himself between your legs, he sits down on his knees and kisses and caresses your stomach again before his kisses go down and he kisses your pubic mound. You press your head in the pillow when his tongue strokes your clit and not long after that it penetrates you. His lips then close around your clit while his tongue slowly moves inside you. His fingers caress your thighs and push them apart at the same time to create more space, you sigh and groan and your hips come off the bed when his tongue rotates around your clit and he gently bites. You feel a second orgasm coming and when you almost fall over the edge again he stops. Before you can do anything he grabs your hips and he sits on his haunches, he pulls you over his thighs and pushes his erection immediately deep into you. You moan and your legs go right around his waist, you push your ankles in his lower back to draw him further into you as he slowly begins to thrust. One of his hands slide to your lower back to support you and the other caresses your breast and he squeezes the nipple before it slides down and finds your clit again, he caresses it and since you are still sensitive from your orgasm you squirm beneath him.

"God, I love to see you like this, vous êtes si beau, si magnifique and I've been such a fool to neglect a beauty like you." he breaths out.

You want to say it's okay, that you forgive him, how good he feels inside you but the words do not come from your lips as your second orgasm washes over your body. Your muscles tighten around his length and when the thrusts become shaky you know that he is close too. He falls forward, one hand still on the small of your back and the other next to your head while he keeps thrusting inside you and it is not long before he follows you. Exhausted you lie next to each other in each other's arms.

"Forgive me?" he asks.

"Of course, just don't do it ever again."

"I wont."

You kiss his chest and his hand disappears in your hair so he can pull you up for a kiss, after the kiss you look at him.

"Try to get some sleep."

He laughs and suddenly dives under the covers.

"Tom what are you doing?" you ask startled.

"First I want to feel something I also missed these last days."

As if on cue the little one kicks a few times and Tom laughs.

"That's my girl!" he calls from beneath the blankets.

You roll your eyes when you hear the words 'my girl'.

"I thought I was your girl?"

Tom comes out from under the blanket and pulls your into his arms.

"Of course you are but when this is also a girl, you will no longer be the only girl in my life." he says and kisses your cheek.

"I think I can live with that."

"Okay, now I can sleep."

The last two days Tom spends as much as possible in your company, when he gets home, you first take a luxurious bath and then enjoy dinner somewhere in the city. For the last evening you suggest to invite Jeremy Luke and Lewis but Tom says that he wants to be alone with you and so you spend the evening together. At least when you do not count the photographers but you have now peace with the fact that this is a part of Tom's life and since you've been to the awarding of the Saturn awards with him you feel reasonably comfortable when pictures of you are made. Tom is happy about this, and when you say goodbye at the airport, he makes you promise that you call him when you get home and that you skype in the evening.

After a short flight and a taxi ride you come back home and when you walk into the room you come to an abrupt halt. The chaos in the living room is gone, the broken coffee table and chair have been replaced and the bullet hole in the stairs is gone, you walk up the stairs and go into the bedroom, the blood stain is gone and there is nothing more that remembers you of the struggle with Lisa. When the phone rings you walk back down and pick up.

"Welcome home!" you hear Emma calling.

"Thank you, have you done this?" you ask referring to the changes.

"Yes, along with Dean, Yukov Sarah Mom and Dad. You and Tom have been through so much that we thought this was the least we could do for you."

"That's sweet of you."

You walk back into the living room and all of a sudden you see a white piano, one without internals, against the wall with a bench before it.

"What's with the piano?" you ask.

"That was an idea of Mom and Dad, Tom played when he was at Eton and he seemed to have been pretty good."

"He never told me that," you go to the piano and open the lid, your fingers slide across the keys but you makes sure you do not press them, "it's beautiful."

"Dad has picked it, and there is a surprise for you in the nursery."

"What?" you ask.

You already walk to the stairs to go up when you hear Emma's voice again.

"A cradle, it's sand-colored with images of seashells and sea animals and stuff."

"That's Levi's cradle." you say.

"Well, Levi has grown substantially and has no need for a cradle anymore, and moreover this is the cradle where Sarah, Tom and I have also slept in."

You are now in the nursery and you see the cradle, a mobile is hanging above it with various figures and it even has a canopy which hides the front half of the cradle out of sight.

"Thank you, I love it." you say.

"Glad to hear it. "

You talk some more with Emma before you hang up and call Tom to say that you're at home and because it's already evening you decide to Skype tomorrow. The following days you mainly spend on the Internet to order things for the nursery and you're glad Emma helps you so you really think of everything. When you go visit Diana at the weekend you are greeted by barking and you raise your eyebrows when you are greeted enthusiastically at the doorway by a young retriever. You kneel down as good as you can to pet it and he licks your face making you laugh. You come up with the help of Diana and you sit on the couch while Diana makes tea for you. The dog jumps on the couch and immediately lays his head on your lap and when Diana enters the room again she sits beside you on the couch.

"I did not know you had a dog."

"Yeah, well, just until his owner gets home."

"Who is that?"

"You." she says.

"What?" you answer and look at her questioningly.

"This thing with Lisa really freaked Tom out and he just wants to know that you're safe, you and the little one."

"So he bought me a dog?" you say incredulously.

"I told him that he first had to talk to you about it but I could not stop him, he was very persistent, as I said, he wants to know that you are safe, he means well." she says.

"I know," you say and look at the dog, "it is a sweetheart, why a retriever?"

"Retrivers are very protective of their owners and they are very loyal and good with children and Tom has chosen a dog that is two years so he already is housebroken and you do not have to run after him through the house to make sure he does not urinate inside."

"That was considerate of him." you say and scratch the dog behind his ear which produces a happy sound from his throat.

"So you're not mad at him?"

"Of course not, like you said, he meant well, it's about my safety, and now I have some company too."

"Well, I think Tom has done it more to reassure himself that you have protection." Diana laughs.

You look at her smiling and suddenly your thoughts go back to that morning in Burbank. 

"So, uh .... I never asked why you called me that evening in Burbank."

"Oh, I saw pictures of you and Tom attending the Saturn awards, I just wanted to tell you you looked very beautiful together."

"Thank you, but I got someone on the phone the next morning that I did not expect." 

"Oh, you mean James." 

"Yes, I mean James, what's going on between you?"

"Ah, you and Tom's wedding made us realize that we still care a lot about each other." 

"Who made the first step?" you want to know. 

"James, he called me, wanted to take me to the opera and dinner." Diana shrugs. 

"And a day later a museum." 

"Followed by a dinner." 

You laugh and sit back on the couch.

"So you spent a lot of time with each other since the wedding? That's three weeks, more even. Are you back together?" 

"Oh, I don't know, we just like being in each other's company and we have a good time together." 

"That's good to hear, but you don't want to rush this, don't get me wrong, I am delighted that you and James spend so much time with each other and were you to come back together again then that's great, but see where it leads you, you have been divorced, that also had a reason. Don't let yourself be led by the fact that you have been married once, that was a long time ago, you both changed, I do not want you to get hurt, and neither does Tom."

"I have heard of James that Tom was very cautionary towards him." 

"You're his mother." 

"James is his father." 

"James left the family." 

"James left me." 

"Tom doesn't see it like that. You've raised him into the man he is today, not James." 

Diana smiles and puts her cup away before she sits down next to you and takes your hand. 

"Tom is lucky to have you as his wife, I mean it, ever since I saw you two together for the first time I knew he felt more for you then he was willing to admitt to himself and us and I was so happy when he finally gave into his feelings as did you, he really won the lottery with you." 

"And I with him and I was very relieved when he told me because I really think I never would have had the courage to tell so I'm glad he made that decision." you say.

When you speak to Tom that night you sit on the couch and the dog lies next to you with his head in your lap when the beep sounds that he is calling you it's head shoots up in the direction of the sound and a small growling sound comes out of his throat before you see Tom's face.

"I see that Mom gave you the surprise."

"Yes, I think it's very sweet of you, thank you, the dog is amazing." you say and kiss his head.

When the dog notices that there is no danger he puts his head back on your lap.

"Did you give him a name yet?"

"I was thinking about naming him Oakley."

"Oakley? I was almost certain that you would call him Loki."

"No, Loki fits better with a cat considering cats are cocky, stubborn and obstinate, retrivers are loyal, loving, like hugging and are good with children."

"I think Oakley a great choice."

"I talked to your mom about James." you say. 

"What did you say?" 

"Well, that I think it's great they spend so much time together but that they should take it easy, not rush things. They have both changed." 

"I hope she will listen to you." 

"I think so, your mother is a very wise woman." you say and grin at him. 

"Oh yeah? What else did she say then?" 

"That you're lucky to have me as your wife and that you've won the lottery with me." 

"She was right, I did, darling, I can say in all honesty that I never expected to have the luck that such an incredible, amazing woman would want to marry a ordinairy man like me." 

"Come on, Tom, you went to Eton and got a degree in Classics on Cambridge, your anything but ordinary,"you smile and look at him,"I am the one that is lucky, you could have married anyone but you married me."

"Best thing I ever did."

You smile and after the call, you push Oakley of the sofa who runs straight upstairs, you laugh, since he is there he sleeps with you in the bedroom, not on the bed because you don't want that but apparently he had other ideas because every time you woke up, he was lying on the end curled around your feet. When you enter the bedroom Oakley already lies on his spot at the foot of the bed and he sticks his head up when you enter, in the short time that he is with you you fell totally in love with him and he doesn't leave your side for a second. Even when your in the shower he stays just outside, sitting in front of the closed door, waiting for you to come out again. You smile and pat his head before you walk into the bathroom to brush your teeth and put on your gown.

The second half of the week passes quickly and mid-week Dean, Emma, Diana and James come to paint the nursery. Because you do not know if it's a girl or boy you decided to make two sandy-colored walls, like the cradle, and the other two are soft yellow. Everyone is at your house in the beginning of the evening and it's in the middle of the night when your ready. Because the baby is again very active in your stomach you spend most of the time in a chair with him lying at your feet or downstairs on the couch. You also notice that Diana and James sometimes look at each other, giving each other a smile and when you take a break to drink something they always stay close to one another. At one point James and Dean are finishing up, cleaning the brushes and other items when Diana sits down on the couch next to you.

"Have you thought about a name yet?" she asks.

"Well, not if it's a boy but for a girl we do have a name."

"You want to tell us?" Emma asks, sitting down also.

"I wanted to give her the name Lucy, because that is sort of the female version of Lucas and he did save the baby's life that night and Tom wants to give her a middle name, Patricia, because that has been in the family for a long time."

"Lucy Patricia Hiddleston," you hear James say while he walks into the livingroom with Dean behind him,"I like it."

The rest nods in agreement and your happy they agree on it. At the end of the week, almost the whole nursery is complete, you have a cradle, a closet, lamps, clothes, onesies and all other sorts of clothing and even a pair of baby shoes which a fan has sent in the form of Loki's helmet. You absolutly love them and realize that the fan must have made them, you can not imagine they are anywhere for sale and you wish that you know who made them so you can thank her for her creativity. The past two weeks presents from fans kept coming in, you think that's really sweet of them but it's so much, at one point you have to use a second bedroom to store everything from clothes to shoes and stuffed toys to drawings.

During the third week you don't do much, you tire quickly and you also get pain in your back when you walk for too long. Diana must come by several times to walk with Oakley, something she doesn't mind that much. You look forward to the three-day break that Tom has over a week, you have not seen each other for four weeks then and despite the fact that you skype with him regularly you miss him immensely, not only the sex but also his presence and his arms around you. When it's finally time you can't even pick him up because the baby is kicking so much during the nights it keeps you awake so Diana decides to pick him up from the airport. When you hear the door open you instantly look up, Oakley also raises his head up and looks at the door. When Tom appears in the doorway you jump up from the couch and run towards him while calling his name making Oakley scramble from your lap. Tom catches you in the hall and closes his arms around your waist and when he wants to press you firmly against him he realizes that your belly is in the way and he has to lean forward to hold you completely.

"Hey, careful, darling." he says.

After the embrace he looks at you and then down.

"These were for you," he says while holding up a ridiculous large bouquet of roses,"but it seems they have not all survived our....hug."

You look at it and indeed, some of the steals are broken and you take the roses from him.

"I'm so sorry, I just.....I just missed you."

"I missed you too, darling," he says

He cups your cheek and you can't help but lean against the touch, a touch you have had to miss for far to long and you lay your hand over his closing your eyes to savour the feeling. Suddenly he leans forward and kisses you passionate but because Oakley jumps up against Tom, wanting some attention too from the new arrival he breaks the kiss.

"Hey, Oakley!" he says and kneels down to pat him on the head, "have you kept the Mrs. safe for me?"

Oakley begins barking merrily and licks his face, making Tom laugh. In the meantime you bring the flowers to the kitchen and place them into a vase before you walk back into the hall where Tom is still busy with Oakley.

"He's always with me, at night he sleeps at the foot of the bed."

"Good to hear."

Tom turns to you and lays his hands on your stomach and he does not have to wait long to feel his baby.

"God, I can not wait till you're born and I can hold you, little one, only two more months." he says.

The baby seems to be responding to his voice and kicks a few times. He pushes your shirt up to kiss your bare stomach and the touch of his lips on your bare skin makes you shiver and you bite your lip. Tom smiles and kisses your belly a few times before you have to push him off of you.

"If you do not stop with that I am going to have to assault you here but I don't want to traumatize the poor dog." you say.

You grab his hand and pull him up to take him into the living room, when he sees the piano he walks over to it and sits down on the bench before it. It is big enough and you sit next to him, Oakley on the floor next to you, Tom opens the lid and lets his long, thin fingers ghost lightly over the keys.

"God, it's been ages since I last played."

Without saying anything he slowly starts pressing some keys and the living room is filled with the sounds, you have the idea that it is not specifically a piece of music but you like it anyway. You look at him and see in his face that he enjoys playing and now he is finally back with you, you suddenly feel a huge urge for intimacy. You bite your lip and slowly stand up, you walk to the doors that go to the garden and let Oakley out.

"Go play with your toys, Oakley."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> vous êtes si beau, si magnifique -> you are so beautiful, so magnificent


	68. chapter 65

You sit down again and put an arm around his waist and the hand of the other arm on the inside of his thigh, when you kiss his neck and let your fingers dance over the inside seam of his jeans his breathing falters and his fingers stop playing.

"Keep playing."

"Y/N ...."

"Please." you whisper against his skin.

"I want to touch you too."

"And you will, we have three days, baby."

Tom begins to play again and your lips kiss his neck again, your hand goes up slowly and you cup him through his pants. You begin to massage him gently and you can feel him harden under your touch. Slowly you open his pants and push it down to let your hand slip under the waistband of his boxer to take him in your hand. It's heavy and throbbing in your hand and you both moan by the feel of it. You close your fingers around it and slowly start moving up and down. You feel his breathing accelerate and his tongue comes out to moisten his lips, but he continues playing while his hips start rocking forward into your hand.

"If you manage to keep playing until you cum, you get a reward." you say.

Tom moans low in his throat and slowly you take his erection out, you lick your lips and move your hand a few times up and down and when his breathing becomes irregular you stop. You see Tom's mouth open to protest, but you put your finger on his lips.

"Ah, I'm not done yet."

You slide off the couch and come to sit between the couch and the piano where just enough room is for you. You push his legs farther apart and let his erection completely disappear in your mouth.

"Oh, fuck." he whispers, missing some notes making his playing sound a bit of key while his hips jerk forward.

You smile around his length and let your tongue slip through his slit while you move his foreskin away and your tongue caresses and licks his most sensitive spot. Your free hand slips under his shirt and slowly moves up to end at his nipple that you caress.

"I'm close...."

When your tongue once again rotates around his tip and you suck your cheeks hollow he shoots his load into your throat. Tom immediately stops playing and his fingers slip into your hair while his hips roll forward. When you have him completely emptied he helps you up and you come to stand between his legs.

"I want my reward." he says.

You put your foot on the bench between his legs and pushes him back a little to close the lid, then you sit on it and look at him through your eyelashes.

"Then take it."

His hands go to your pants and pulls it off and he feels through your slip how wet you are for him, he brings his fingers to his nose and smells it.

"Hmm, céleste."

He peels your slip down and hooks a hand into your knee to lift it when he gets up and he puts it around his waist, you feel his erection slip between your legs and you moan. He presses you with his hips against the piano and also lifts your other leg up to put it over his other hip and you lock your ankles behind his back. You put your hands besides you on the piano and tilt your hips forward, you look at him defiantly.

"Come on, Tom, let me feel what I missed."

He lets a hand slide up your leg and you feel how he takes his erection and aligns it against your slit, when he slowly sinks all the way into you you both moan and your head falls back against the wall.

"God, so good." you breathe.

Tom pulls his hips back and then he rolls them forward to impale you completely on his length, he swivels his hips from right to left to find your place and when he does you moan loudly and he smiles.

"God, I missed that beautiful sound coming from your lovely lips." he whispers.

He puts his hand on the wall and thrust hard and deep inside you, his fingers caress your clit and you feel your peak approaching. Then he puts both hands against the wall and presses his hips tightly against your body after each thrust so that his base caresses your clit and it is enough to push you over the edge. Tom thrust a few times deep and hard before he follows you. Slowly your breathing returns to normal and after Tom helped you off the piano and you have redressed and Tom closes his pants you walk to the doors to open them and let in Oakley who is busy with his toys outside, but before you get there two arms circle around your waist and fold together on your stomach.

"I love you." he whispers and kisses your neck.

"I love you too." you say and look at him smiling and when the baby kicks he smiles and looks at your stomach.

"And I love you too, little one."

He kisses your cheek one more time before he lets go and lets you open the door, Oakley however is to busy playing with his toys to notice and since it's nice outside you sit down on the bench. Not much later your followed by Tom who sits down next to you and reaches for your hand.

"So, what do I have to do to let you show me the nursery." he asks.

"Oh god, so sorry, I got distracted." you laugh.

"My fault aswell, I guess."

"Let's just sit for awhile, just enjoy each other, watch Oakley."

"Sure."

He lays his arm around your shoulders and pulls you close to kiss your forehead. You hum content while your arms circle his waist and you close your eyes for a moment, just listening to his heart beat, feeling his chest rise and fall from his slow breathing and his fingers that carress your upperarm.

"How is filming going?" you ask after a while.

"Good, we are filming long hours, we usually go for a drink after and on Friday we go out to dinner with some of the guys. The evenings and nights are the hardest, I had to get used to it that you're not there when I get home, no welcome home kiss and a hug, sleeping in a bed which is way too big and empty and cold without you in it beside me, to hold you, to kiss you, make love to you and waking up alone sucks."

"I know, I feel the same, the first nights I lied awake for hours, not even being able to sleep without you."

You strengthen your arms around his waist and press your head against his chest as his lips press a kiss on your crown.

"My character is single, so had take my wedding ring off," he says, holding his hand up where his wedding ring has now returned, "I just could not bear to leave it in my trailer so I hung it around my neck on a necklace."

You smile and lean forward to kiss it.

"How is Lewis? Not to bored now that I'm gone?"

"Ah, you know Lewis, the guy makes friends easily and besides, he is from the area and he has family there, he sends you his love, like Luke and Jeremy. I still can not believe he offered me his private jet."

"No, I can't either, incredibly generous. Let's stay home this weekend, just you and me and a big bed."

"That sounds divine but I have reservations for tomorrow night."

"Where?"

"Bellevue."

"God, Tom, eating at that place costs a fortune." you say and looks at him with wide eyes.

"I know, but I have not seen you for four weeks, darling, I missed spoiling you, and no matter how much I would like to be in bed with you for three days, Oakley needs to be walked too."

You moan and look at the dog again, tired of playing with his toys and now lying while he looks at Tom with big hopeful eyes, tail wagging over the grass and head tilted a little.

"I think someone wants your attention." you say.

"You want to play, Oakley?" he says while letting you go and sitting up.

Oakley sits up too enthusiastic and Tom laughs before he runs into the garden to the other side with an excited Oakley trailing close behind. He manages to run a few rounds before Oakley bites him in his trouser leg and Tom stumbles, he falls face forward into the grass, and before he can do anything Oakley jumps on his back and licks his neck. Tom shrieks of laughter and let's Oakley have his way for a little while before Tom places his hands on the ground and rises up on hands and knees, balancing Oakley on his back who looks a little worried when he starts to wobble on his back at first but he manages to find his balance.

You watch as Tom and Oakley run around and play together and when Oakley indicates that he needs to be let out Tom offers to go alone so you have some time for yourself. Tom leans towards you and gives you a kiss before he leashes Oakley and walks out the door. 

On the way to the stairs you grab Tom's backpack which he had with him and take it to the bathroom to put his clothes in the washer and then you walk to the bathroom to fill up the tub. While waiting for the tub to fill, you let some bath oil dripping in and undress yourself. When you stand before the mirror you lay your hands on your belly and you turn yourself so you have a view from the side of your mirror image, your belly has grown in recent weeks and you are also wearing maternity clothing for about six weeks which surprisingly enough sit quite nice. You sigh and walk to the bath to turn off the water and you get into it, the water is warm and you dream away, on the verge of falling asleep and as you've heard from your gynecologist it can be dangerous while you're pregnant to fall asleep in the bath, you begin to sing softly. You have gotten some CDs with children's songs of Emma last week to sing for the little one, since they can hear you now. The little one always responds the same to your voice; by kicking and your hands gently rub over the places where you feel it. 

After some time the water cools off and you step out of the bath carefully, you dry yourself off and put on a gown to then walk to the nursery, you look around and are very satisfied with the end result. You let your eyes slide through the room the closet, the dresser, the cradle and the mobile above it, a rocking chair and finally a storage box for toys in the corner and a bath. You walk into the room while one hand rubs over your belly the fingers of the other slide over the edge of the cradle. You smile when you feel two arms slip around your waist and lips that kiss your neck.

"I think it's beautiful." Tom whispers in your ear.

"That's good to hear."

"Is that Levi's cradle?"

"Yes, the same cradle where you and your sisters have slept in."

"What is that?" he asks, pointing to the plush toy lying in the cradle.

Your smile and reach for the plush toy, you turn around in his arms and hold it up, it's the plush toy with the round face of Loki and whose body consists of flaps.

"That's cute." Tom says.

"It's my favorite," you say,"oh and this your going to find amazing." you say.

You loosen yourself from his embrace and walk to the dresser, you open the drawer and pull out two little slippers to show them to Tom. As soon as he sees that the slippers have the form of Loki's helmet he laughs and takes them from you.

"Oh, those are brilliant." he says.

"I thought so too, I got them sent from a fan, I suspect they made them themselves. I just wish I knew who so that I can thank her."

"Very nicely done."

"Where is Oakley?" you ask.

"Downstairs in his basket."

"Oh? That's strange, in the past three weeks he stayed with me continually."

"But I'm here now, he knows when I'm with you you're safe, that I'll watch over you."

Tom lays the slippers in the cradle and you place the plush toy in it, Tom laces his fingers with yours and pulls you towards him to kiss you. The kiss is sweet and gentle, and he slowly leads you out of the nursery and into your own bedroom. Tom closes the door behind him and let's your hands go to frame your face with them and to kiss you again. His hands go down and he opens the knot that keeps your gown closed. When the knot is released and the gown falls open he pushes it from you shoulders, and he stops kissing in order to look at you, his eyes slide over your body, from top to bottom and back again.

"Being pregnant really becomes you." he says.

You smile and move backwards until you feel the mattress in your knees and you sit down, you put your hands behind you and slide onto the bed until you're in the middle. All the while, Tom watches you closely with eyes that radiate passion and desire and even though sometimes you feel like a chunky whale and definitely not beautiful, the way Tom looks at you gives you the feeling that you are the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen.

"I swear to God," Tom breaths and begins to undress himself, "when this baby is born I will not waste my time to get you pregnant again with my child."

"I like to carry you child."

"And I think it's so amazing to know that my baby grows inside you and you look so damn sexy, swollen like that." he says while crawling over you and he starts kissing your neck.

"Ah, language, the child can hear us." you say disapprovingly, tilting your head, giving him more room.

"Is that so?" he asks,"then I have to start with Shakespeare I guess."

He looks at you for a moment before he leans down to kiss you fiercely, your fingers slide in his hair and you make a disappointing noise when you notice that his hair is too short to grip and he smiles against your lips. His lips find a way to your cheek, neck and collarbone and eventually you feel his fingers caressing your side. You moan softly and press your head in the pillow while the kisses go lower, he takes plenty of time to kiss your breast and bite your nipple. After he gave the other breast the same treatment he sits down on his knees and puts his hands beside your hips before he lovingly kisses your belly. He looks up at you through his eyelashes and grins as he sits backwards further and when he lowers his face you wait eagerly for the moment you will feel his tongue but suddenly he grabs your ankles and slides you to the end of the bed, you give a squeal at the sudden treatment and lean on your elbows to look at him. Tom is now on the floor on his knees and looks at you.

"Your belly is in the way and I need space." he explains.

You let yourself fall backwards laughing but the laughter turns into a long drawn moan when his tongue moves over your slit from back to front.

"Baise, I missed this." Tom breaths.

You want to say something but the words die in your throat when Tom's tongue sneaks inside you, making short stabbing movements and you feel his thumb sliding over you clit, gently caressing and sometimes pushing. Your hands fists the sheet while Tom continues to caress your clit and his tongue stays inside you licking around your walls, Tom pushes your legs further apart and his lips close around your clit to suck and lick while pushing a finger inside. Your hips come off the bed and your hand leaves the sheet so that you can cup his head and you can press yourself against him. You feel him grinning against your clit and his tongue drags over your clit while a second finger slides inside go.

"Oh my God....Tom...more, please....."

Your words encourage him and his tongue is attacking your clit relentlessly, and when a third finger slip inside you feel a climax approaching. You roll your hips against his face, and when you reach your climax you vaguely feel that Tom let his tongue slide out of you while one finger continues to stimulate your clit. You writhes on the sheets and when he withdraws his fingers you feel his erection against your opening, sliding inside completly in one slow roll of his hips. You gasp for breath and Tom does the same.

"God, so tight, so wonderful...."

He sets his hands beside your hips and slowly and deeply thrusts inside you, you are still riding the waves of your climax which reaches higher and higher and your hands scramble for grip they do not find until Tom merges your fingers and pulls you up. Your arms go around his neck and his slide down your back and he cups your buttocks. With each deep thrust he pushes you against him and you climax is drawn out. You shake and tremble in his arms and when the thrusts become erratically and inaccurate you know that he is close. Your lips attach themselves to the spot under his ear and he shivers under your touch while he shoots his seed inside you.

"Damn, y/n ...." he gasps in your ear.

You smile against his skin and he hides his face in your neck, breathing heavily.

"I've missed you so much." he says.

"I've missed you too, baby." you say.

Tom kisses your neck one last time before he looks at you and he smiles, he helps you up and into bed. Where the last three weeks were hard fallen asleep, this time it takes no effort, with the familiar arms of Tom around you you quickly fall into a deep sleep.

When you wake up you blink your eyes, it is still dark in the room and you frown your eyebrows when you find yourself wrapped into two strong arms. Then you remember that Tom has returned home yesterday and you look up, there breaks a smile through on your face and you hug his waist a little tigher with your arm, breathing in his scent and you sigh content, completly happy now that he is back with you after a much to long seperation. Then you realize that this is not the first time he has been gone for so long and you wonder wether your hormones have anything to do with it but frankly you don't care, all you care about is having him back with you, next to you, that you are back in his arms and the next two days you are going to make the most of the time you have together. You push yourself up to kiss him and Tom stirs and tightens his grip around your waist, he immediately responds to your touch by turning his face and kissing your lips. When your lips touch you groan and Tom's hand slides down to hook into your knee, which he places over his hips. His body turns to you and the kiss deepens before he moves to your neck.

"Am I dreaming? Because if so then I never want to wake up." you sigh.

"You are not dreaming, darling." Tom pants against your skin, and he kisses your neck.

"So you are real?"

"Very real."

Without further ado he pulls your leg which lies over his hip further up and with his free hand he pushes your slip aside, letting his already hard erection penetrate you. You gasp as he rolls his hips forward.

"Oh god .... .... you go so deep like this."

"You that like?"

"Yes."

"Keep your leg there." he says.

You press your ankle in his back and his hand slides up over your leg and stays on you buttock, with each forward thrust he pushes you against him.

"Lean back." he says.

You do what he says so that your stomach is less in the way and you feel him sink even deeper into you and you close your eyes but when you feel a hand cupping your cheek you open them and you meet dark blues looking at you intense. His other hand seeks yours and he laces your fingers together, you find a slow rhythm with long deep thrusts and slip the fingers of your free hand over his muscled chest while continuing to look at him. For some time the only sound is your hurried breathing and a groan which can be of the both of you and when you feel your climax approaching you clamp your leg tightly around his waist and Tom thrust faster. You soon reach your peak with a deep groan and Tom follows, for a moment you keep lying there, entangled with each other and catching your breath and finally he draws you to him. He smiles when your stomach is again in the way and he can not pull you completely against him and his hand leaves your buttock to gently rub your belly. The child reacts immediately by kicking and he laughs.

"Does it hurt? The kicking?" he asks.

"No, not usually." you answer.

"When did you last been to the gynecologist?"

"Few days ago, Diana joined me, the gynecologist told me that the baby is now from head to foot about 40 cm long, but all curled inside the womb. It has a pretty good chance of survival if it were born unexpectedly. The baby can hear and see, as I told you, my voice, the beating of my heart and the rumble of my intestines. She said that after the child is born and has trouble sleeping at night we can try to find something with the sound of a heartbeat because after birth the baby feels safe when it hears those sounds. The baby's eyes are now open sometimes when awake but they mainly see light and dark. The baby's eyes are always blue, even though that's not the final color. Only a few weeks after birth under the influence of light, all eyes take on their final color, although I of course hope that they stay blue." you laugh.

"And the hair? Can they see that?"

"Yes, but only a shadow, not what color it is and whether it curls, unfortunately."

Tom laughs and lets his fingers slip into your hair to kiss your forehead, it's about half past four and suddenly you hear scratching at the bedroom door. You want to turn around but Tom is holding you back.

"No, I will let Oakley outside, you stay here."

"Thank you." you say.

Tom gets out of bed and pulls on a sweatpants and vest before he kisses your forehead.

"Go back to sleep," he says,"I'll be back as soon as I can."

"You better, I've had to sleep without you for to long."

You smile and push yourself further into the blankets and soon your asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> céleste->heavenly


	69. chapter 66

When you wake up later that morning your alone and you pull Tom's pillow towards you to assure you of the fact that last night was real and you smile when you smell his scent. When you feel movement at your legs you look down and you see Oakley lies at your feet and when he notices that you look at him his ears stand up straight and he barks.

"Come on, let's go see what the boss is doing." you say.

You get up and Oakley immediately jumps off the bed to run to the landing, at the top of the stairs he stops until you stand next to him and together you walk down. In the hallway you can smell the delightfull scent of freshly baked croissants and you walk into the kitchen, Tom takes a baking tin out of the oven with the croissants on it, he has poured orange juice in two glasses and cooked two eggs. When he turns around and sees you and the dog standing he smiles.

"Hey, good morning." he says.

"Good morning." 

You yawn while you walk up to him and after Tom has safely put away the baking tin his arms close around your shoulders and yours slide around his waist.

"Why are you up so early, it's not even seven o'clock."

"I had to be on the set in Belfast at eight o'clock, it's still in my system I think. I could not sleep and you need your rest so I went on a little jog with Oakley. Something he finds great, he was so enthusiastic, barking and jumping the whole time."

"Just don't think I am going to do that before the break of dawn, I am seven months pregnant."

Tom laughs and he looks at you.

"Maybe when the baby is born and you are allowed to go out with him you can jog behind the stroller." he suggests.

You frown your eyebrows, you've never been too fond of running, but you still need to lose the kilos you have gained after the baby is born.

"Okay, I'll give it a chance." you say.

Tom kisses your head and loosens himself from you to lay the croissants on the tray next to the other delectable things.

"Go outside, I'll be there in a minute."

You nod and walk through the kitchen and the living room to the doors that are already open, you step onto the patio, and see that Tom has covered the table for two. You smile and sit down in the chair, Oakley at your feet and when Tom comes walking out with the tray and sets it down you suddenly begin to cry. Tom immediately sits next to you on his haunches and grabs your hands while Oakley lays his head on your legs. You look at him through your tears and then you look at Tom who kisses your hands and you smile.

"Sorry." you say.

"Hormones?" he asks.

You nod and Tom laughs while he comes up and kisses you before he sits down and you have breakfast. After breakfast you help Tom with cleaning up and then you settle with your laptop on the lounger on the patio next to Tom, your back against his side while he leafs through the script of I Saw The Light. You surf through some different baby sites looking for the last things, a box, a stroller, playmat, maxi cosi, car seat, and sometimes you ask Tom's opinion before you order anything. Just before you want to leave you suddenly come across baby carriers and baby slings, you realize that they can be quite useful especially when the baby is still small but you're not sure what you'd prefer. Tom states that he likes a baby carrier better, because he can carry the baby too then as a baby sling can not be adjusted. You smile when you order one and then close the laptop. You're getting ready to get up, but Tom grabs your hand and holds you back.

"Where are you going?" he asks.

"I'll be right back, baby."

You kiss him on the lips before you walk away and pick up the photo album with your wedding photos, Emma and Diana have made it for you and when you get back on the lounge couch Tom puts his script away and takes it.

"Beautiful pictures." he says.

"Yeah, maybe we should sort out a few Megan can place in her magazine, we have promised."

"Yes, we have."

Tom browses through the photos and lets his fingers slide over you in some of them and he gets a smile around his lips.

"You were so beautiful that day." he says.

"You were too."

Eventually you choose four photos and you decide to call Lucas and ask if he and Megan can come by tomorrow afternoon before Tom must go back to Belfast. Lucas responds pleased at the invitation and takes it gladly, and when he tells you that Megan has moved in with him it doesn't surprise you, you are happy that he has been following your advice. After you hang up you surf around the web a little and you can't help but google Tom's name and your not surprised at all when your name pops up also. You click some links and browse through pictures and comments, some nice and others not so much.

"God, some of your fans really hate me." you say.

"What?" Tom answers before he looks at your screen,"why are you looking at that?" he asks.

"I don't know, curious I guess."

"You don't sound very distressed." he remarks.

"No, it doesn't really bother me anymore, ever since I accompanied you to the Saturn Awards and your fans being so sweet towards me, saying I looked beautiful and sending you after me and giving me all sorts of gifts for the baby I realized that the fast majority of your fans are happy for you so why should I let those few fans who talk bad about me get me down?"

"Very wise words, darling."

Suddenly you close the laptop and set it on the table, then you straddle his lap and you close the distance between you to kiss him intensly. Tom's hands glide up over your legs and rest on your hips while yours go through his hair. After the kiss you place your forehead against his and you close your eyes.

"What have I done to deserve such a kiss?" he whispers.

"Just being here with me ...."

You stop talking and bite your lip, soon you feel Tom's finger at your lips, and he pulls it from between your teeth.

"It's difficult without you."

"I know, but this is not the first time we have been apart or the shortest."

"But it is the first time with me being pregnant."

Tom smiles and carresses your stomach.

"Yeah, it is and I wish I could take you with me."

"Me too, especially when the baby is kicking and keeps me awake at night and I lay staring at the ceiling, alone in that big, cold bed, thinking of you, wishing you were next to me, with your arms around me, your body against mine. I just miss you incredibly at those times."

"I miss you too, darling, you have know idea how much. The first couple of nights I barebly slept at all, just because you weren't in my arms. Come here."

Tom closes his arms tightly around your waist you bury your face in his neck, your arms tightly around his shoulders.

By the end of the afternoon, you dress for dinner, Tom in a neat black pants with white shirt, which he wears over his pants, and you choose a long soft yellow dress. This has an elastic band under your belly and three loose straps that start at your front left and go over your right shoulder to the run over your back to the left again. 

You take the Jaguar and park on the grounds behind the restaurant and after Tom helped you get out, he takes your hand in his. There are a few photographers before the restaurant, Tom had already warned you, the Bellevue is a very popular restaurant which is frequently visited by celebrities and when you are noticed they call Tom's name. You both look up and Tom kindly waves while you smile and when a photographer shouts that you look gorgeous you blush.

"He's right," Tom says as he lays his hand on your lower back to guide you to your table, "you are truly dazzling." 

He gives you a kiss on the cheek before he pushes you chair back and waits for you to sit down before sits himself. You remember what happened in India so you decide to take no risk and you choose a salad as an appetizer, a piece of meat as main course and, for dessert creme brulee. Tom orders a bottle of chilled water for you and after dinner while Tom is sipping his coffee you look at it longingly.

"I should not have taken it." he says apologetically. 

"No, that's okay, you don't have to deny yourself things just because of me, really." you say and take his hand across the table. 

Tom intertwines your fingers and smiles. 

"I have spoken to the gynecologist about the champagne." 

"What did she say?" 

"When I do it just after a feeding, it can not hurt, and the same goes for coffee, thank goodness." 

Tom laughs and brings your hand to his lips to press a kiss there. 

"I'm glad." he says.

"Not as glad a I am, trust me." you laugh.

Tom drinks the rest of his coffee while you lean back against the backrest of the chair and your hands move over your stomach. When your face twists Tom pushes his chair towards you and he lays an arm over the back of your seat and the other on your abdomen under yours. 

"I love to feel the little one kick." he says. 

"Yes, me too, although sometimes it hurt a little." 

Tom looks at you caring and kiss your lips softly.

"Ready to go, darling?"

"Yes, please."

Tom helps you out of your seat and you walk out where by now a handful of fans of Tom have gathered and they are waving pictures and mobile phones. Tom moans and looks at you. 

"Go." you say. 

"Are you sure?" he asks. 

"Yes, go, I'm just going to sit right here and wait for you, go to your fans." 

Tom kisses you grateful and leaves you behind on the chair, there are fortunately not much fans and while he takes his time sighing cards and taking pictures you watch closely how he interacts with them. When he is done he says goodbye and walks up to you and reaches you his hand. You take it and when your standing your hand moves over your stomach and you walk away. 

"You look lovely, Mrs. Hiddleston!" a fan suddenly calls. 

"We hope that the birth goes smoothly!" 

You turn your head and smile. 

"Thank you!" you call back.

Tom chuckles and looks at you through his eyelashes. 

"Best fans in the world." he says. 

Together you walk to the car and after a drive of fifteen minutes you are back home. As you let your jacket slip from your shoulders which is then hung by Tom Oakley comes running up, barking and enthusiastically wagging his tail but even bending over to pet him is too much for you now. Tom circles your waist with his arms and kisses your shoulder. 

"Go to bed, I'll let him out." 

You smile pleased and kiss him extensively before you look at him.

"Make it a quick one, this is our last night together since your leaving tommorow evening for at least three weeks so I want to spent as much time as possible in your arms."

You peck his lips one more time before you walk up and you change into a gown and exhausted you crawl into bed. The pregnancy really begins to tire you out and you hate it, still you try to stay awake until Tom is back but eventually you drift off into a deep sleep.

When you wake up the next morning you find yourself safely tucked away in Tom's arms and you snuggle deeper into it, sniffing his scent and you hum content against his skin. Tom stirs and pulls you even closer against him, kissing your crown.

"Morning." he mumbles.

"Morning."

"God I missed waking up with you in my arms." he says.

"Yeah, I'm going to miss the feeling of having them around me."

"Just my arms?"

"Oh, I'll miss all of you, one place in particilair." you say and smile up at him.

"And what would that be?" he asks.

"How about I'll show you?" you say.

Before Tom can respond you crawl under the covers, you kiss his chest and playfully bite his nipple. Tom moans and you smile against his skin, you lick it once with your tongue and then move to his other nipple and give the same treatment. You sink down slowly and you nestle between his legs, your fingers curl around the waistband of his boxer and slowly you pull it down while Tom raises his hips to help you. He is already hard and when your tongue slips around the head you also feel moisture. You place your hands next to his hips and lick your tongue along the underside of his shaft which causes a twitch and you end up with his balls, you take one into your mouth and suck on it. When your tongue moves up over his shaft and you completely swallow him Tom's hands fist in your hair firmly. 

"Oh god ..." he breathes.

You move up and let your tongue slip through his slit before you swallow him again and the bit that does not fit you grab with your hand. You use your fingers to pull his foreskin away so that your tongue can caress his most sensitive spot and Tom's hips arch upward. Your free hand wanders down and your fingers caress his balls lightly while you swallow him again and your tongue moves across the underside of his shaft. 

"Oh, c'est tellement bon.... Yeah just like that ..."

You suck your cheeks hollow and lick your way up to swirl his head and when you lick the space under the foreskin his seed shoots in the back of your throat. Tom breathes heavily and his fingers tense in your hair. You swallow everything and when there's nothing more you suck one last time, makking Tom moan and gently he pulls you up to kiss you long and deep.

"Your so amazing, darling, and I am so, so very lucky that I can call you mine."

You smile and take his hand to bring it to your mouth to kiss it before you look at him.

"No, I'm the one that's lucky, you could have picked anyone to share your life with but you picked me."

"Of course I did, I will always pick you, above anyone, anytime."

You spent another hour in bed in which hands carres and lips find each other before your stomach starts to rumble and you leave the intimacy to move into the kitchen and while you feed the dog Tom prepares breakfast, this time just some bread with butter and juice. After breakfast you retreat to the couch to spent some more time together before Tom sits up and apparently Oakley knows what this means because he runs towards the hall where he sits down before the door.

"I'll be right back." he says.

He stands up but you take his hand and stop him.

"I'll go with you." you say.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I feel fine, really."

"Okay then."

"Just, no running okay."

"Sure."

As you walk out, Oakley leashed and controlled by Tom, you arm lies around his waist and his around your shoulder, you walk a lap around the block and occasionally Tom presses a kiss on your head making you hum satisfied. When you walk into a path you do not know you look up at Tom quizzically. 

"There is a dog park behind the trees." 

"I didn't know that." 

"Neither did I, but I came across a neighbor, Ethan, and he told me that he's been coming there for several years, he and his wife have a shepherd of about 3 years, beautiful dog."

"I do not know anybody in this neighborhood." you say regretfully. 

"Maybe we need to change that." 

"Do you have an idea?" 

"Maybe we can give some type of party, to get to know the people." 

"That seems like a good idea but when? You go back tonight and when you come back over three weeks, I will be eight months pregnant" 

"I know," he says as he leads you into the park and releases Oakley, "come, we can sit there." 

You walk with Tom to a bench and sit down, Tom looks around and when he sees Ethan he waves, you see a friendly looking man waving back with short dark hair and he walks towards you. When he is close, he gives Tom a hand and he introduces himself immediately to you.

"I see there is a new addition on the way." he says. 

"Yes," you say, and rub your stomach, "another two months." 

"Oh it will change your life." Ethan laughs. 

"Do you have children too?" you ask. 

"Yes, two, Jacob, who is three and Anna, who is fifteen months, my wife Amelia takes care of them full-time, because they are both still at home, but Jacob will become four in two weeks and he can finally go to school, my wife counts the days, not that she wants to get rid of him, but then she gets it a bit easier. You know what it is?"

You are about to answer when you suddenly hear excited barking and you look up, Oakley is playing with a shepherd and you laugh. 

"Ah, they found each other." Tom laughs and he and Ethan look at each other. 

"When I met Tom here the two were immediately best friends." he says to you. 

"Speaking of friends, would you and Amelia like to get a drink sometime? I just told Tom that I don't know anyone in the neighborhood at all." 

"That sounds great, really. Why don't you come to the Jacob's birthday, most neighbors will be there, we can introduce you." he suggests. 

"Oh, yeah sure, sounds like fun, but it will be just me, Tom has to go back again tonight to Belfast to film his latest film."

"Too bad," he says and looks at Tom, "may I ask how long you will stay away?" 

"Three weeks, then the filming will be done, then I'm home for three weeks before I have to leave to Shreveport for the next film." 

"Then I hope your baby is born in those three weeks, though a first child rarely comes earlier than the due date." 

You bite your lip and look at your stomach. 

"I'm sorry you obviously did not wanted to hear that at all." Ethan says apologetically.

"No it does not matter, it's the truth, but we do have taken precautions might the baby be born while he is in Shreveport." 

"That's good to hear, I have to go, I will ask Amelia to bring you an invitation for Jacob's birthday." he promises. 

"Okay, thank you." 

While Ethan calls his dog, which then looks up immediately and runs towards him, you look after him. 

"Nice guy." you say. 

"Yes." Tom agrees.

You sit there, looking at Oakley playfully running around another dog, indicating that he wants to play, but the other dog has little interest in Oakley so he decides to chase his tail. You and Tom laugh at the absurd sight and fifteen minutes after the dog has tried to grab his tail Tom calls him. Oakley immediately respond to his name and runs towards you. Tom puts the leash back on him and together you walk away and when you come home, you are more exhausted than you thought. Eventually you end up on the couch, Tom with his back against the armrest and you half on your side against him. By his regular heartbeat, you are slowly becoming more weary and when his fingers slip into your hair and massage your scalp you really almost fall asleep and when you notice that Tom's breathing becomes slower you realize that Tom is almost asleep too. When suddenly the bell rings your startled awake and Oakley immediately starts barking, tail wildly banging back and forth.

"Oh, my God. Lucas and Megan, I had completely forgotten that they were coming." you sigh. 

Slowly you sit up straight and Tom carefully gets up to open the door. You hear the voices of Lucas and Megan, somewhat surprised that there is a dog walking around and after extensive greeting Oakley they walk into the living room while Tom walks into the kitchen to make tea. You're getting ready to get up but Lucas immediately keeps his hands up.

"Do not get up, please." he says. 

You smile and look at him gratefully, he leans over you and gives you a kiss on the cheek and Megan does the same. 

"Wow, look at you, another two months, right?" Lucas asks. 

"Right." you answer and rub your stomach. 

"You look beautiful." Megan says. 

"Thank you. I feel good, since that first three months I have had no problems, except in India, with the spicy food made my stomach upset so I had to stay in bed a few days." you say. 

"Oh what a pity. But you have had fun?" 

"Yes, it was amazing, India is really beautiful." you enthusiastic.

The first hour you talk about what you have seen and done, and Lucas and Megan listen closely to you, you also show the many photos that you have made. 

"Speaking about photos, I do not want to be annoying but you had promised wedding photos." Megan says. 

"Yes that's right." Tom says, grabbing the photo album of the coffee table. 

"Megan why don't you sit here, you can see it better." you say. 

Before Megan can say anything you stand up and you start to put the tea cups on the tray, Lucas stands up and helps you then you walk into the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher. 

"You're hiding something from me." Lucas says suddenly. 

You look at him, he is leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed.

"No I'm not." you say. 

"Yes you are. I know you, y/n, better than anyone, except, of course, Tom," Lucas says, laughing, "I'm a cop, you know I do not give up until you tell me." 

You sigh, you know he's right, and somehow you could have known that Lucas would notice that you're hiding something from him. You've spent so much time together and he knows you inside out. You close the dishwasher and look at him. 

"Have you ever had secrets from Megan?" you ask. 

"What? Of course not, she looks right through me."

"So that means that if I tell you, you will probably tell her too." 

"Yes, probably, but y/n," Lucas gets up and walks towards you, "Megan has proved often enough in the past that she can keep work and her private life separate." 

"I know, but I promised Tom." 

"Okay, fine, just tell me one thing, were there laws broken?" 

"What? No, of course not." 

"That's good, but if you want to talk about it, or about anything at all, you know where to find me."

"Okay thanks." you say. 

You give Lucas a hug and at that time the baby kicks , and Lucas smiles, he puts a hand on your stomach and feels the baby kicking again. 

"Amazingly, is it not?" you say. 

"Yes, seriously." 

You walk behind Lucas to the door but suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your stomach and your hands go towards it and when you let a small gasp escape your lips. Lucas turns to you and when he sees your face tensed, he walks up to you.

"Y/N? Are you okay?" 

You look at him, hands rubbing your stomach and you frown your eyebrows, Lucas takes your hand and leads you to a chair so you can sit down. 

"I'll get Tom." he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> C'est tellement bon;it's so good


	70. chapter 67

Not a second later Tom sits on his haunches in front of you, you feel hands taking yours and together they rub over your stomach that feels very hard suddenly and you look at him. 

"What is it? What do you feel?" 

"It hurts, it's a nagging feeling and my stomach feels really hard." you say.

Tom gently presses on your stomach and where the skin normally is fairly easy to press on the places where the baby is not he can't now and the pressure causes you to bite your lip. Tom immediately sees your discomfort and brings your hands to his mouth to kiss them. 

"Okay, it's okay, Megan,"he says and looks over his shoulder at her,"the number of our gynecologist hangs on the whiteboard on the refrigerator, call her." 

"Sure." 

Megan immediately comes into motion and Tom looks at you again.

"Do you want to move to the couch?" he asks.

"To be honest, I'm afraid to move." you confess and smile faintly at him.

"Okay, then we'll just stay right here."

You nod and close your eyes, making some tears to roll down your cheeks which are kissed away by Tom who wraps his arms around your waist to pull you against him and yours slip around his shoulders and your head falls on his shoulder. When the doorbel rings Tom loosens his grip around your waist but you tighten yours around him, not wanting him to leave but before you can utter those words Lucas walks to the hall to open.

"In the kitchen." 

Two paramedics run into the kitchen with a stretcher and after they have placed you carefully on it, they ride you to the ambulance, all the while Tom continues to hold your hand and after a short ride in the ambulance you arrive in the hospital, your gynecologist is already waiting for you and comes straight towards you and you look at her.

"What is wrong, tell me what you feel." she says.

You tell her the same as you told Tom and then she turns to the staff already around your stretcher.

"We will bring her to my room."

The staff begins to ride you to her room while you her look at. 

"What is happening?" you ask.

"Based on what you told me, I suspect that your placenta has partially seperated." 

"What does that mean?" 

"I don't know yet, but we must be sure that your placenta does not seperate further, if that happens ..." 

The gynecologist is quiet and Tom and you both know what she wants to say and your hand strengthens his grip on his.

"Is the baby going to be okay?" Tom asks. 

"Let us first wait for the tests, I know it's hard but it's the best." she says. 

"What kind of tests?" 

"First we make a cardiotocography. Shows changes in the fetal heart rate and follows the movement in the womb. From there we look further of what we do."

The staff rides you into the room of the gynecologist and carefully she helps you to lie down on the treatment table. She pushes the waistband of your pants down and picks up two broad bands. 

"I'm going to place these bands around your stomach. One for the registration of the child's heart tones, the other for the registration of your hard belly." she explains

She attaches the bands to the echo machine and immediately you hear the rapid heartbeat of your baby, your smile and look at Tom, who smiles too. 

"It sounds like the baby is okay," the gynecologist says,"I'd like to keep you here tonight and I want to do another cardiotocography again tomorrow morning to see if your placenta has seperated further." 

"Okay." you say. 

"And what if it does?"

The gynecologist looks at you both and then goes sitting on the edge of your bed. 

"Might the placenta has raptured further, you both can get into acute danger. Your child gets oxygen and nutrients through the umbilical cord and placenta and they also carry waste materials away so when the placenta is further torn, this results in the fact that your baby is not getting nourishment any more and in that case we will decide to do an emergency caesarean. Such an emergency caesarean however is very risky for the pregnant woman as there will be clotting problems after a placenta rupture. Most likely you will need a blood transfusion." 

Your hand tightens its grip on Tom's hand but the gynecologist continues. 

"The likelihood of that happening is very small, try not to think about it, I know it's difficult but you really need to avoid stress right now, okay?" 

"Okay." you say.

"I'll make sure you get your own room." she says. 

"With an extra bed." Tom adds. 

"Of course."

The gynecologist walks away and you look at Tom. 

"Your flight leaves tonight." you remember him. 

"You seriously don't expect me to take a flight to Belfast tonight and leave you alone like this? If the doctor would have said there is no danger for you or the child, that would have been a different story, but she didn't." 

"What about the movie?" 

"I don't care about the movie."

"Tom..."

"No, y/n please stop,"Tom says sternly, and he sits on the edge of the bed while taking your hands in his,"I'm not leaving you, not until I'm sure you and the baby are not in any danger. I'll call Ben after we are in our room to tell him what happend, I'm sure he'll understand." 

You nod and look away while he pushes a strand of hair behind your ear before he places his hands next to you and leans forward to kiss you, on one hand your sorry for Ben and that the shooting may now be delayed but you're relieved that Tom stays with you, you want him with you, you need him with you because he is the only one that can keep you calm and also the only one that gives you a safe feeling and you need to feel safe now. When Tom cups your cheek you look at him.

"And honestly I don't think you would want me to leave either, do you?"

"No, I don't. But I also don't think it's my place to ask you to stay." you say softly.

"Darling, in a situation like this, you have every right to ask me to stay."

After your driven to a private room you can see that there is an extra bed and the nurse rides your bed against it. Both beds are put on the brake and the safety gates in the middle are put down so you can lie against each other and when you are left alone Tom wants to grab his phone.

"Shit." he says. 

"What is it?" 

"I forgot my phone." 

"Then to go to the desk further down the hall." 

"I don't want to leave you alone." 

"I'll be fine." 

"Okay," he says, and gives you a kiss, "I will immediately call Lucas to say that we are to stay here tonight." 

"What about Oakley? He's never been alone before for a whole night." 

Tom frowns and shrugs his shoulders. 

"Maybe they can take him with them."

You nod and look after Tom until he's out of sight, you close your eyes and gently rub your hand over your stomach. The pain has subsided some, but is not gone yet and your belly is still hard. When Tom returns, he strips himself of his shirt and pants and lies next to you on his side, looking at you before he takes your hand in his, rubbing your knuckels.

"What did they say?"

"They will take Oakley home with them, we can pick him up or they will bring him whenever we are ready."

"Very sweet of them to do that."

"Of course, they'll do anything to help, they sent you their best wishes and hope everything turns out okay and so does Ben, he gave me three days."

"That much?"

"Yeah well, most of the movie is done, it's just some rough edges that need to be handled." 

You nod and suddenly you start crying and you close your eyes.

"Come here, darling." he says. 

You instantly slide up against him and he takes you in his arms, he carefully turns on his back so that you can place your head on his collarbone and is fingers slide in your hair and the other fingers caress your back. 

"Jesus, you trembling all over." he says dismayed. 

"Well, I'm scared, I could lose this baby." you sob. 

"Your not going to lose the baby."

"You don't know that."

"And you don't either, y/n."

You huff against his skin and Tom realizes that the coversation isn't taking your stress away at all.

"Let's not agrue okay, you heard the doctor, you need to avoid stress,"he says, tightening his grip around you,"let's first wait and see how tomorrows test goes, okay?"

"Okay."

"Try to get some sleep."

When you wake up, your surprised to see light shining through the window and you look up.

"It's morning." you say.

"Yeah," you hear above you and look up to see Tom looking back at you,"you sound surprised."

"Well, I just thought that, after everything that I would lie awake the whole night, tossing and turning, worried. But I guess having you with me helped. Thank you."

"Sure, anytime," he says and kisses your forehead. When the gynecologist walks into the room you look up. 

"How do you feel?" she asks. 

"Actually, pretty well, I have no pain and my stomach is not so hard anymore." 

"That's good to hear." she says.

She has brought the equipment and slowly you turn on your back and while she ties the two straps around your abdomen Tom slips out of bed to put on his shirt. When she connects it to the ultrasound equipment you immediately hear the heartbeat of your baby. You smile and the gynecologist enlarges the picture so your placenta is in view, she studies it carefully before she looks at you.

"And?" you ask tensed. 

"It is not further torn." 

You and Tom sigh a breath of relief. 

"So the baby will survive?" Tom asks. 

"Yes, but I do have to emphatically add that the rest of your pregnancy you need to stay in bed as much as possible." 

"What? I still have one and half months to go." you say.

"I know but if you want to keep this baby you must lie as much as possible, the placenta is at the top of your uterus, when you walk it's likely that the tearing continues," then she looks at Tom,"can you ensure that she stays in bed the whole time?" 

"Well, I was supposed to be on a plane to Belfast yesterday evening, I called the director and he gave me three days to stay here."

"Then I would use that time to install her in bed, maybe you can, if you have the space, put a bed in the downstairs room." 

"Okay, I can arrange that." Tom says. 

"Well, then I'm going to arrange your discharge papers." 

When the gynecologist is gone you sink into Tom's arms, relieved that you can go home. Tom kisses your head and rubs your back. Then he helps you up before he picks up his pants. All the while you are looking silently ahead of you until Tom sits on the edge of the bed next to you and takes your hand.

"What are you thinking about?" 

"About how boring the next three weeks are going to be without you." 

Tom smiles and kisses your hand. 

"Well, you can call Emma to keep you company." 

"Yes, I could." 

"Mom is also there, and dad. Maybe you can also get in touch with uh, what's her name, Amelia?" 

"The neighbor across the street?" 

"Yes, she would come by with a invitation, right? Maybe you can tell her what the situation is and maybe she can come by once in a while." 

"Yes maybe."

An hour later you are back home, when it would be possible Tom held your hand and as soon as you cross the threshold, Tom brings you to the couch. 

"Can I do something for you?" he asks. 

"Come sit next to me, please." 

Tom smiles and sits down next to you, you immediately nestle yourself against him, you want to feel his arms around you, hear his heartbeat, you want that secure and safe feeling around you that only he can give you, and after you spent some time like that he kisses your head and looks at you. 

"Is it okay if I call Lucas? That he can bring back Oakley and help me move a bed downstairs." 

"Tom, I do not know whether it is a good idea to put a bed in the livingroom." 

"There is enough space and I don't want you sleeping on the couch."

"Yes, but ..." 

"No, no but's, I do not want you walking up and down stairs, you have eveything down here and if there are things upstairs you need tell me so I can get them." 

"All right, make the call." you sigh. 

Tom picks up his phone and calls Lucas and fifteen minutes later he stands at the door, Tom opens it and Oalkey shoots straight past him and immediately runs towards you only to be reprimanded by Tom, and you look at him in surprise.

"I do not want him jumping on the couch, y/n, he can hit your stomach." 

"Aren't you exaggerating a bit now?" 

"I don't care, I'm not going to take any chances with you and the baby." 

Then Tom feels how Oakley nudges his nose against Tom's leg and when Tom looks at him the dog whines softly, head tilted. 

"I'm sorry, boy," he says and kneels down before the dog,"I did not mean it like that." 

He scratches under the dog's chin with his fingers, and Oakley immediately sticks his head forward and closes his eyes, Tom laughs and then stands up and looks at Lucas. 

"Sorry about that." he says. 

"That's okay, I agree with you." he says. 

"Sit down, I'll get some tea." 

While Tom walks away you look at Oakley and you hold your finger beneath your lips to indicate that he should be silent before you pad on the couch next to you, Oakley immediately jumps on the couch and lays his head in your lap while Lucas sits down on the chair next to you.

"How are you?" he asks and you see the concern in his eyes. 

"I'm fine, thanks that you and Megan have taken Oakley with you last night." 

"Speaks for itself, he was a very good guest and Megan has really sort of bonded with him, I think he likes woman better then men, don't you, Oakley?"

Oakley barks and swishes his tail around before he looks at you.

"He is always welcome in our home, so there is no danger?" 

"That depends, my placenta is ruptured a little bit and if it raptures further the baby won't get oxygen and nutrients than it needs so that means that they will have to do an emergency caesarean to save the baby, a procedure in which I will probably loose so much blood I will need a blood transfusion after."

"God that's intense." Lucas says.

"Yeah, but luckely I don't have any pains anymore or a hard stomach."

"That's good to hear."

"You want to feel?"

"Your stomach?" 

"Yeah, the baby is kicking pretty much. Come here."

Before Lucas can do anything you slide forward and grab his hand to lay it on your stomach together with yours and instantly the little one kicks. 

"Wow," Lucas says surprised,"that's amazing." 

"I know." 

"God, really incredible." 

When Tom comes walking into the room again, he places the tray of tea on the table and pours tea for you before he delegates Oakley of the couch. He sits down next to you, lays an arm around you and kisses your temple and you smile, when you've drank the tea the men get to work. Because it is a double bed, they must first take it apart and rebuild it again once in the room. In agreement with you, they place it against the window so you can look outside but you also can watch TV whenever you want. It takes longer than expected and it is towards evening when Lucas says goodbye to you. While Tom takes the tea cups to the kitchen you grab your mobile phone that you have not seen you since yesterday afternoon, and you see that you have several missed calls. Most are from Diana and you also have an number of missed calls from an unknown number. You decide to call Diana first and reassure her that all is well, something that's harder than you thought and you can barely stop her from coming by, not that you do not want it, but the days that Tom is with you you want to spend with him. Tom has now also turned on his phone and says that his mother has called him too, just like his father. 

"Do you know this number?" you ask and keep your phone up. 

"No." 

You look at it and bite your lip. 

"Why do not you call it?" 

"Yeah, I will." 

You call the number back and when it is picked up you recognize the voice immediately. 

"Lewis?" 

"Y/N? Oh heavens above, I'm so glad you called! When Luke told me what happened I was worried sick about you and the baby, are you okay?" he asks. 

"Yes, I'm fine and the baby aswell but I have to keep bed rest until the baby is born." 

"Oh sweetie, I'm so glad Tom was with you when it happend, I'm assuming he takes good care of you?" 

"Yes, Tom is very sweet and attentive to me."

"Good, he better be." Lewis says and you smile.

"Thank you for calling."

"Of course, I just needed to know how you were, like I said, you freaked me out but I'm okay now, after talking to you."

"Your a sweetheart, Lewis, really, Luke is lucky to have you."

"Damn straight he is."

You both start laughing and talk a bit more before you hang up.

"Lewis?" Tom asks.

"Yeah, he was worried about me and the baby when Luke told him what happened."

"I'm sure he was, he's a sweet boy."

"He is."

You draw Tom to you and lay your head on his shoulder and your hand on his chest, Tom cautiously tightens his grip around your waist and you close your eyes for a moment. You almost fall asleep but when Tom stirs you groan and look at him. 

"Oakley needs to go outside" he says. 

He gives you a kiss and walks with Oakley to the door to let him out, but before he closes the door he looks at you. 

"Dare not to move." he says. 

"I will not." you promise.

When Tom is gone you sigh, you think it's sweet that he is so worried about you and the baby and he wants to take no risks, but sometimes it goes a bit far. Because Tom doesn't want to leave you alone for too long, he is back again quickly and the rest of the evening is rather quiet. When you begin to yawn, he looks at you. 

"Do you want to go to bed?" 

"Yes, you want to get my gown? And the toothpaste and my toothbrush?" 

"Of course, I'll be right back."

Tom kisses your cheek and before you know it he is back, he helps you to the bathroom where you can change clothes and brush your teeth and then you step into bed. Oakley at your feet and Tom behind you, arm around your waist, softly stroking your stomach where the baby kicks now and then.

The next two days go by fairly quietly, Diana and Emma both call to ask how it goes and if they can do anything. Diana would also like to come by but Tom denies her, saying that you'd rather be together before he has to leave you for more than two weeks but when he is gone she is more than welcome. Sophie also calls you indicating that, despite her busy schedule, she is at your disposal should you need it. When even Elsa calls you, you react surprised that the news has even reached Australia.

"It's on the Internet." she says. 

"It's what?" 

"It's on the Internet that you were admitted to the hospital and you had to stay untill the next day." 

"How do they know?" 

"Oh honey, Tom is currently the most sought after man in England, not only by producers but also by journalists and fans, all the guy does is being watched, maybe it was just a fan or one of the nurses in the hospital." 

"Jesus," you say with a sigh,"were there photos?" 

"Yes, but one of the evening of the Saturn Awards, with you and Tom together where by the way you looked very beautiful together." 

"Thank you, do you remember where you read it?" 

Elsa gives you the name of a site and you nudge Tom. 

"Give me the laptop." you say.

Tom gives your laptop and you seek the page, you have quickly found the post and to your relief is not the digital version of Elle but you know that Megan would never do that, Lucas was right when he said that Megan has proved herself more than enough in the past. You hear Tom cursing under his breath when he sees it and he leans towards you to read it. When you say goodbye to Elsa you read it too. At least they dont jump to conclusions this time. Below the post are different reactions and when you read them you conclude that the fans are mostly worried about you and the baby.

"How did they know about this?" Tom asks. 

"I don't know, according to Elsa it could have been a photographer but also a fan or a nurse. But we have to reassure you fans." 

"I know." 

"I'll call Megan tomorrow, if she can write something with the interview that me and the baby are fine." 

"Sounds like a good idea, come, let's go to sleep."

The next day is the last one Tom is with you and you spend it as much as possible in bed in each other's arms. Except for the times when Oakley needs to be let out and then Tom comes back as soon as possible, unwilling to leave you alone too long. He has booked the last flight to Belfast so that he can stay with you as long as possible.

Dinner is taken in bed and when Tom has put the plates in the dishwasher he stuffs some clothes in a bag and sets it by the door before he crawls into bed with you again. Fingers interwoven, Tom's arm around your waist, gently caressing your back, your head tucked under his chin.

You are thankful for the three days Ben has given him to stay with you but you still dread the moment he has to leave you and you tighten your grip on his hand. In response Tom tightens his arm around your waist and he cups the back of your head and presses a kiss against it making you press your face into his chest. 

"I don't want you to go." you murmer against his chest.

"I know, darling, you have no idea how hard it is for me to leave you behind like this, it tears my heart apart." he says and weaves his fingers through your hair.

When the doorbell rings you sigh and Tom slowly gets up and walks to the hall to open, while you hear him talking to the driver you sit on the edge of the bed waiting untill he returns and when he sits on his haunches in front of you he frames your face to kiss you deeply before he looks at you. 

"As soon as I arrive on the set, I will talk to Ben, whether my scenes can be pushed forward so that I can come back to you sooner, how does that sound?" he asks.

"Sounds pretty good." 

"Please don't do things you shouldn't, there are enough people who want to help you, just allow them too okay?"

"Okay." 

"I love you." he says. 

"I love you too."

He gives you another kiss before he walks back into the hall, throws the strap over his shoulder and looks back at you once more and you see the sadness in his eyes, the sadness that you also feel, then he's gone. 

As if Oakley senses your sadness he slowly creeps up on the bed and nudges his nose against your elbow, you lift it up slightly so that he can crawl underneath it and he lays his head on your lap while you pull him close against you before you close your eyes.


	71. chapter 68

You're not surprised when Diana stands at your door step the next day and while she makes tea for you you surf around on the web and you suddenly come across a picture of you and Tom, taken during your dinner at Bellevue. Tom on a chair next to you, your hands interwoven on your stomach while he kisses your cheek.

"That's a lovely picture of the two of you together." you hear Diana say as she sets down the tea. 

"Yeah, it was also supposed to be a private moment between us." you sigh. 

"Bellevue is very popular among celebrities, sweetheart, you can not blame the photographers that they are trying to take a picture when they can." 

"No, I dont, it is just part of it when you are married to a celebrity." you smile. 

Diana remains with you until the early evening and when she wants to walk Oakley you want to accompany her. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yeah, I've been inside the house for three days, I really need some fresh air."

Diana eventually agrees and when you walk outside, the line in one hand and your other hand is linked through Diana's arm you look at her. 

"I know I need to take it easy, but that's not to say that I must stay in bed twenty-four or on the couch the whole day." 

"I know that, but Tom is so worried about you, he really wants this baby." 

"I know and that is very sweet if him, but sometimes it suffocates me a bit." you say. 

"I understand, dear, just take it easy okay?" 

"I will, I want this baby just as much as Tom does."

She kisses you before she takes her leave and despite it's still early you decide to go to bed already. 

The next morning after breakfast you settle ont he couch with Oakley next to you and flip through the channels on the tv and after about an hour the doorbell rings and when it is someone you do not know you're cautious. Oakley notices it immediately in your demeanor and starts growling softly. 

"Can I help you?" you ask. 

"You are y/n, right?" 

"Yes, and you are?" 

"Amelia, from across the street, Ethan is my husband, he said that I would be bringing an invitation?" 

"Oh, for the birthday of your son, Jacob, right?"

"Yes, that's right," she says, laughing,"he turns four years this Saturday and my husband and I would appreciate it if you would come." 

"Yes of course, you have time to come inside?" 

Amelia agrees and you let her inside but Oakley is not convinced of her goodness and still growls softly. 

"Oakley, shush." you say and the dog stops immediately. 

In the living room you find yourself turning to face her. 

"Do you want something to drink?" 

"Yes, sure, you want me to make it?" she asks. 

"Why?"

"Well, there is a bed in your room and a while ago I saw you were taken away in an ambulance." 

"Oh, that, yes, it was a scare moment." you say, rubbing your belly. 

"I'll make some tea, then you can tell me all about it, you should sit down." 

Before you can do anything she urges you to go sit down and you sit on the edge of the bed with Oakley at your feet. You hear her rummaging around in the kitchen and she sometimes hums a tune that you do not recognize but which sounds very sweetly. When she comes back a few minutes later she puts a steaming cup of tea in front of you and she sits down.

"What was that which you were humming?" 

"A children's song, my mother used to sing it for me and my sisters." 

"It sounded really sweet." 

"I'll teach it to you one day," she says, "but it's not serious? With you and the baby?" 

"No, as long as I do not do arduous things, such as climbing stairs, therefore there is also a bed in the room." 

"Can you tell me what it is?"

You tell her that your placenta is torn and the consequences if it tears further, the whole time she nods and looks at you compassionate, normally you hate it when people treat you like that but Amelia is so sincere about it it does you good. 

"Do not worry, we have a wonderfully soft couch where you were can sit and I'll make sure the kids do not come anywhere near you. It is a pity that Tom is not there, I would have loved to meet him, Ethan seems to like him. "

"I think Tom also likes him, and Oakley can get along fine with your dog, Josie." you say and Oakley barks when hearing his name, making you laugh.

"Yes, I heard. Ethan also mentioned that you are due at the time that Tom needs to be in Shreveport for a new film." 

"Yes, but we have taken measures, a colleague of Tom lent him his private jet so he can immediately go into the air when I call." 

"That's very generous of him." Amelia says admiringly. 

"Yes, that it is, we are very grateful, let's just hope he will be here in time."

"I'm sure he is." Amelia says and smiles.

Before she leaves she gives you the invitation and after you have laid it aside the doorbel rings. When you open the door you see that it's Emma and you look surprised when you see that she has a plastic bag with her.

"What's in there?" 

"Movie's and ice." 

"Really?" you ask and your face lights up. 

"Really." 

Emma kisses your cheek and after she greeted Oakley she walks to the refrigerator to put away the ice and then through to the living room where she retrieves the movies from the bag and lays them on the table. You stand beside her and laugh at her choice. 

"Thor, Thor the Dark World and The Avengers?" 

"Yes, because you think Loki is the hottest." she says. 

"Excuse me?" 

"Tom told me about the posters on your bedroom wall."

"He did not." 

"Yes, he did." 

"God, how embarrassing." 

"Oh come on, it's perfectly normal, every girl has posters of actors on her bedroom wall, mine hanged full of posters of Brad Pitt and George Clooney, come sit." 

You sit down beside her and Emma grabs the DVDs. 

"So, which first." 

"I do not care, we'll just play them in the right order." 

"Okay."

Emma picks up the DVD of Thor and places it in the recorder. Three films and an empty container of ice later it is now midnight and the rain pounds against the window. An hour earlier Emma went outside very briefly with Oakley and he is now sleeping content again at your feet while you have crawled in bed in the meantime. Just when Emma wants to pull on her jacket it starts to thunder and the flashes of light lit up the sky magnificent. Oakley thinks very differently about that and he is whimpering looking outside.

"Nice hero you are," you say smiling and scratch him behind his ear, then you look at Emma, "I know it's only a short ride to your home but would not you rather stay here?" 

"Maybe I should, I will have to call Dean." 

"Of course."

After Emma has called Dean she runs to the gazebo for the night and you lie down, watching how the sky every few minutes is illuminated by lightning. Your thoughts go to that one night in this same house when it thundered, when you crawled into bed with Tom and nestled close to him. You wished that he was with you, not that you're afraid but just the feel of his arms around you, his puffs of his breath in your neck. You sigh and close your eyes and when you're still awake after two hours, you huff out a breath and look aside, you see the laptop and bite your lip. It is now three o'clock in the night, Tom is of course sleeping, yet you grab the laptop and turn it on. You want to start up internet when suddenly a beep sounds and Oakley starts barking ferociously.

"Oakley, hush!" you call and the dog stops immediately from underneath the bed. 

You chuckle when you see that Tom is calling you and quickly you allow the connection. 

"Hey handsome, why are you still awake?" you ask. 

"Hello, beautiful, I can ask you the same." 

"Storm, keeps me awake." 

"Me too. Belfast is not that far away." he explains. 

"Hmm," you say and place the laptop on the bed next to you and you lie on your side, "I was thinking about the time it was also storming and that you were here and I seeked comfort with you."

"Seems like a lifetime ago." 

"I know, I wish you were here so that I could have your arms around me, making me feel safe." 

"Me too, darling, but you have Oakley, right?" 

"He's no help at all." 

"No?" 

"No, he's been whining under the bed all night." 

"You're kidding." 

"No I'm not, see for yourself," you say and turn the laptop to the end of the bed and the rest of the room,"no Oakley, because he is hiding underneath my bed as the coward that he is."

"So, you are on your own?" 

"Well, not exactly, Emma is here, she is sleeping in the gazebo." 

"What? She and Dean didn't have a fight did they?" 

"No, we had movie night and it was close to midnight when we were done and then it was already raining and thundering, so she sleeps here." 

"Movie night huh? What movies?" he wants to know.

You tell him the movies you watched and he smiles.

"Talking about movies, I talked to Ben earlier this week."

"And?" you say and come up slightly, rubbing your stomach.

"And everyone was very willing to give up their screentime so mine can be done first."

"That's very sweet of them."

"I know, it is. But they also know that I am supposed to be with you now, seeing how dangerous your situation can become."

"So when will you come home?"

"By the end of next week." he says smiling.

"That's a week earlier."

"I know, and I'm planning to take the cast out for dinner on the eve of my leave to thank them, it's the least I can do." he says and suddenly needs to yawn.

"Your tired, you should really get some sleep."

"I know, I didn't get much the last nights."

"How come?"

"You really need to ask me, darling?" he asks and you understand that his worry for you kept him awake.

"You shouldn't worry about me so much, focus on filming, okay?"

"I am doing my very best and during the day filming keeps me distracted a bit but it's hard in the evenings and nights, knowing you need me but I can't be there."

"Well, your going to have to get used to that, it will happen more often, especially after the baby is born."

"I hate that thought, I am going to miss so much."

"I know, I just hope the baby is born a couple of weeks earlier so your here."

"Me too, but you heard Ethan the other day, first borns are never early."

"Well, let's hope he's wrong then." you suddenly hear.

You both look up and see Emma walking towards the bed.

"Hey, what are you doing up?" you say and sit up.

"Needed to pee," she explains,"and the toilet in the gazebo is clogged or someting."

"Great." you mutter.

Emma sit's down next to you and looks at her brother and then to you.

"You can induce labor." 

"Induce? Don't you need a medical reason for that?" you ask. 

"Normally yes but when you explain that at the moment you're due Tom is filming in America, they might want to make an exception." 

"Do you think?" you ask. 

"I don't know, but you can always ask." 

"It's worth a try. I have an appointment next week, I'll ask."

You talk some more and when the thunder has stopped suddenly Oakley turns up from under the bed and jumps onto it, nuzzling his nose against your leg.

"Hey, looks who's back." you say.

You scratch his head making his sigh content but you look up when you hear Tom yawning again.

"Sweetie, go to bed, get some sleep." you say.

"Okay, it was good to see you again, just remember, in one week I will be home."

"Can't wait."

You blow him a kiss before you break the connection and say goodnight to Emma before you go to sleep again. The next day is fairly quite and after Emma and you let out Oakley in the early afternoon she says goodbuy to return to her family. You take the opportunity to call a plumber for the gazebo but apparently the storm has caused for much disturbance and they can only come in the course of the next week. You make an appointment and after the call your a bit tired and decide to take a quick nap before dinner. 

After having slept for some time you make yourself a sandwich, not really in the mood to cook for yourself and you feed Oakley after you have let him out. Just when your setting the plates int he dishwasher the doorbell rings and when you open the door you're surprised when you see that Ben and Sophie stand on the doorstep.

"What are you doing here?" 

"We have some free time so we thought we'll go see how you are doing." 

"Should you not spend that free time together?" you laugh. 

"Nonsense," Ben says, and gives you a kiss on your cheek,"are you feeling better again?" 

Sophie also gives you a kiss and you go into the living room. 

"Yeah, I'm fine, I have no pain since I left the hospital." you say and sit down.

Oakley instantly sits at your feet and curls himself up, Ben reaches for the dog and scratches him behind his ear, pruducing a happy noise out of him. 

"Sweet of Tom to buy a dog for you." Sophie says. 

"Yes I am very pleased with him, and with the company." 

Ben disappears into the kitchen to make tea while you and Sophie catch up and when she tells you that this sunday her second theatrical premiere is you sit up straight.

"Oh, I want to come." 

"Are you sure? In your condition?" 

"Yes of course, I have been inside all week, I fancy a night out." 

"I don't know, if something happens Tom will kill me." Sophie says nervious.

"Nothing will happen, I'll just sit backstage on a chair the whole play, promiss."

"And to make sure she keeps it, I'll sit next to her." Ben promises.

"Okay, then."

"Shall I come and pick you?" Ben asks when he comes walking back into the room. 

"That's sweet of you, if you have time." 

"Of course, I always have time for you."

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

"When is Tom coming home?" Sophie asks.

"Well, the plan was about two weeks, but this night he told me that he talked to Ben, Ben Weatley, the director, if his scenes can be moved forward so he can come sooner." 

"And?" 

"He had to discuss it with the other actors, of course, but everyone was very willing to give up their screen time so that Tom's first scenes can be taken."

"That is only logical, did you say this night?" Ben asks. 

"Yes, I could not sleep with the storm, so I went on the internet and almost immediately he called me on Skype," you smile and look at your teacup, "he said that he had barely slept the last few nights." 

"Worried about you and your child?" 

"Yes, he is so concerned about us and that has only gotten worse ever since I've been in the hospital."

"Of course he is, Tom is crazy about acting and loves it and it's his life but you and your baby, that's where his priorities are now as it should be." Ben says. 

"I know." you sigh.

"Are you okay?" Sophie asks. 

"Yeah, just ....I just miss Tom. The previous times I obviously missed him too but now...." 

Your hand moves over your abdomen, and when Sophie lays hers on top of it you look at her. 

"Those times you were not pregnant, honey." she says. 

"I know." you smile.

You talk a little more and after Ben has let out Oakley for a walk they take leave of you after you have agreed with Ben that he'll pick you up at two o'clock. When they are gone you remember you can not go upstairs to your clothes, well, you can, of course, but you do not want to take the risk. Then you remember Tom's friend, Danny, with whom he has ordered that black dress for you and you decide to call him. You explain the situation to him and because the shops open at one o'clock in the afternoon on Sunday you may come over in the morning to pick out a dress.

But before that you first have a birthday, because you have not had time to buy a gift you wonder what you should give him but then you suddenly see a copy of The Pirate Fairy. You bite your lip and shrug your shoulders, Jacob will be four years, the right age and you take the copy and wrap some gift wrap paper around it before you give Oakley some water and food and you walk out of the house. Five minutes later you stand outside the door. There are decorations hung on the outside of the house, streamers and balloons and a balloon in the shape of a big four. When the door opens and Amelia stands before you you smile. 

"Hey, welcome, how nice that you have come, come in." she says. 

Amelia steps aside so you can walk in and she shows you the way to the living room where a long table stands with all kinds of candy and on the counter are two beautiful cakes with both four candles in it.

"Wow, what a beautiful cakes." 

"Thank you, I made them myself." 

"Seriously?" you ask and looks at her with wide eyes. 

"Yes, my mom also did that and I always found it great helping her so I always do it for my own kids." 

When you walk into the living room, Ethan immediately walks towards you to give you a hand and he points to the people in the room. 

"These are Jack and Olivia and that Olivier and Jocelyn. And there are our parents." he says. 

You hold up your hand by way of greeting, and they all give you a smile. 

"We have kept a spot free for you of the couch." says Amelia. 

"Thank you, oh, before I forget," you say and get the gift of your bag, "this is for Jacob, I have not really had time to buy a present for him, but I had it lying around."

Amelia takes it from you while Ethan calls the birthday boy inside. When he stands next to you your Amelia hands him the gift and while unpacking you're getting nervous but are reassured when there appears a big smile on his lips and he immediately looks at his father. 

"Can I see it?" he asked excitedly. 

"No, not now, maybe when the visit is gone." 

Jacob looks up crestfallen but when Ethan gives him a nudge towards the garden, he runs straight out. Ethan sits on a chair next to you and nods towards the DVD. 

"I see that Tom plays a role in it." he says. 

"Yes, that's right, like I said, I saw it lying there and thought it would be an appropriate gift, that is the benefit you have when your husband is an actor, you always have most of his films somewhere in the house, received from the producer usually." 

"Well done." he says.

When suddenly a girl stands before you you look at her. 

"Does your tummy still hurts?" she asks. 

"No, my tummy does not hurt anymore," you say, smiling,"you want to feel?"

The girl looks at Ethan, making you realize that this probably is Anna, his daughter, and when Ethan nods she slowly reaches her hand out to your belly. As soon as she has laid it on the baby kicks and with a small shriek she pulls her hand back, but the big smile on her face betrays her. The rest of the people laugh and Anna suddenly runs out to join the other children.

The rest of the afternoon passed peacefully, fortunately there are not too many people, just enough to be able to talk to everyone and get to know them a little. Everyone is very friendly and very nice to you, and some ask about Tom. When at the end of the afternoon, most of the guests have left and Ethan together with both the grandfathers take Ethan out to try his new bike the grandmothers clean up everything and Amelia sits down beside you.

"How are you holding up?" she asks. 

"Fine, but I think I will be going home soon, Oakley should be let out and I'm pretty tired even though I sat the whole afternoon." 

"Of course, I understand. I'm glad that everything goes well with you and with your child, it's terrible what you've been through, not only the hospital visit last week but also the shooting some time ago." 

Your face clouds and your mind goes back in time, when you thought, you knew that you and your child would die, that you'd never see Tom again. Amelia notices the change, and immediately begins to apologize herself but you hold your hand up.

"No, it does not matter, it was terrible, I'm just very grateful that someone in the neighborhood called the police." 

"That was me." she says. 

"Really?"

"Yes, Anna enjoys watching the stars when it is dark and that evening we watched together when we heard the first shot and saw a flash of light. I've put Anna immediately before the TV and I called the police." 

"Thank you, really, you've probably saved Lucas's life. He was with me that night." you say and smile. 

"He's a dear friend of yours." she says, and it sounds more like a fact than a question. 

"Yes, we have been through a lot together." you say and leave it with that, although you really like her your not willing to tell more. 

"You know, caring for a new born, it wears you out, it did me and I had Ethan with me to help but you'll be alone most of the time and not for a week but more then a month, Jack and Olivia have this cousin, Sharon, who babysits for several kids in this neigborhood, I could ask them if she would want to help you whenever Tom is gone."

"Really that would be great if she wanted to do that."

"Oh, I don't think that will be a problem, she's a big fan of Tom."

"She is?"

"Yeah, if I understood it right her bedroomwalls hang so full of his posters that you can barebly see the color of the walls." 

Amelia smiles and she looks up when Jacob comes running into the room excitedly. 

"I can ride!" he yells.

He runs to his mother and jumps into her arms, involuntarily you place your hands on your stomach and turn yourself slightly to protect your stomach. 

"Wow, really?" Amelia asks and she looks at Ethan. 

"Yes, really, but using training wheels but it went very well." 

"That's so good of you." Amelia says. 

You talk a little more before you say goodbye and thank her for the invitation. 

"We loved having you here, we should do it again sometime when Tom is back." Ethan says.

"I know, we should."

When you open the door to your house Oakley comes running up to you, barking and wagging his tail, you aligns him and quickly walk once around the block before you get home. It is now at the beginning of the evening and because you don't feel like cooking for yourself you order something to eat.


	72. Help

If there are any readers from England; this question is for you. I'm trying to figure out at what age kids go to kindergarten or pre-school before they really go to school. I can't find it or there is just to much info, thank you!!


	73. chapter 69

Sunday morning you stand in front of Danny's store at ten o'clock and when you walk inside, you see him standing. 

"Ah, there she is, at last I meet you." he says. 

He comes to you and gives you two kisses on your cheek, you smile and he crouches to pet Oakley.

"And who is this?" 

"I should have said that I would take him along, sorry." you say. 

"Don't worry, I'll get a bowl of water for him." 

"Thank you."

While Danny is away you unleash Oakley and you start to wander through the shop but before you get to the dresses you suddenly see pantalons and you walk towards it. You let your hand slide over it and suddenly feel the urge to wear one but Danny obviously has no maternity clothing. 

"The dresses are over there." you hear Danny say. 

"Yes, I know, but come to think of it I want to wear a pants." 

"For a premiere?" Danny asks surprised. 

"I realize that it's not common for woman, but I fancy something....daring." 

"Okay, I just have no maternity clothing but I have jumpsuits."

"Jumpsuits?" you ask. 

Danny sees your despondent face with the word and comes up to you. 

"Nowadays there are very nice ones, I have a few with halter closure, closures that run diagonally or crosswise, the elastic band on your stomach, you can hide behind a nice belly band or put a vest on over it." 

His words make you doubt and Danny sees it. 

"Come on."

Danny takes you to the racks of jumpsuits. They come in different colors and you have to admitt that Danny was right. You look through the rack and decide on a black one that has a halter top and where the straps run diagonally over your back and with wide trouserlegs. When you have changed clothes you walk out of the dressing room and you look in the mirror.

"Beautiful, really beautiful." Danny says. 

You turn to him and put your hands on your hips and hold pose. Danny laughs and sticks his thumb up while he walks to you. 

"It fits you like a glove, only a belly band and you're done."

You smile and change back into your normal clothes and after you've extensively thanked Danny you take a taxi back home. It is now around noon and you decide to eat something and then let Oakley out. You've called Diana this morning and asked if she could possibly let out Oakley at the end of the afternoon should it become late for you. At half past two you change clothes and then you remember that you have the belly bands lying upstairs. 

Just when you want to walk up the doorbell rings and Ben stands at the door. When he sees you, he let his eyes slide over you and he whistles.

"Wow, a jumpsuit, that is daring." 

"Oh, it's too much, isn't it? I knew it, I can still get changed." 

"What? No, don't change, your beautiful, you'll give the photographers a busy evening and tomorrow you will be in every magazine as the belle of the ball." 

"I should hope not, it's Sophie's day." you say smiling. 

"Sophie is only concerned with the play." 

"Oh, you want to get a belly band for me upstairs? They're in the drawer in the bedroom." 

"Sure, which one do you want?" 

"Does not matter, just pick one." 

While Ben walks upwards you crouch down carefully for Oakley and scratch his head.

"Will you be good this afternoon? You have food and water, if it takes too long then Diana will walk you, okay?" 

As if he understands he barks a few times and you smile. 

"Given the fact that Tom isn't here, I think this one is appropriate." you hear Ben say. 

He reaches out his hand and helps you up, you take the belly band and see that he has chosen the one that says 'daddy's little angel' and you smile while placing it around your belly. You shift it a bit until everything is to your liking and look over to Ben. 

"Okay, I'm done."

"Well, let's go then, your carriage awaits, madam." he says.

When you step out of the car and onto the red carpet half an hour later it appears Ben has been right. As soon as the photographers notice that Tom Hiddleston's wife is there and see what you're wearing all the cameras are aimed at you. You become a little nervous and smile shyly, normally Tom is with you to keep you calm but he's not now but then you suddenly feel an arm around your waist and you look up into Ben's eyes.

"I know I'm not Tom but I hope I'm good enough." he says.

"Of course, a good substitute." you answer.

Together with Ben you pose for the photos and you feel yourself become calmer. After a few minutes it is enough and Ben guides you into the theater where you meet Sophie who hugs you immediately.

"Is everything okay?" she asks and you hear the concern in her voice.

"Yes fine."

"Wow you look gorgeous, daring, a jumpsuit, but it suits you amazing."

"Thank you."

Sophie takes you to a chair that is put next to the stage, out of sight of the audience and you sit down. Ben grabs another chair and sits down next to you after having given Sophie a kiss and she walks away to instruct the actors for the last time before they go up. It's not much different then the last time, you don't talk to Sophie much but Ben is a good enough distraction to you. 

During the play your hands continuously slide over your abdomen because the baby is very active, at one moment Ben also feels your stomach and he smiles when he feels the baby. 

"Are you and Sophie thinking about having children?" you ask. 

"We do want to have children, yes, but we are both very busy at the moment so it's not a priority at this time." he replies.

You nod and you look back at the play and when it is finished it is around the end of the afternoon and you really should go home to let Oakley out but Ben and Sophie insist to take you out to dinner, and eventually you agree. You call Diana first to ask if she has time to let out Oakley and when she indicates that she would be happy too you disconnect and along with Sophie and Ben exit the theater around six o'clock. The photographers are thinned but the one's who are still capture how you step into the cab and drive away. It's the same restaurant where you have eaten after the first play and when you finally get dropped off at home is around eight thirty. Oakley meets you happily, wagging his tail when you walk in.

"Hey boy," you say, and walk to the bed and sit on it, "how are you? I'm beat."

You pull your shoes off and after you have changed clothes, you go and lie under the blanket and before you realize it your sleeping.

The rest of the week you also speak with Tom several times via Skype, the photos that have been made of you in your jumpsuit also reached him and he tells you several times how beautiful you looked and how radiant you were. You take the compliments and indicate that you have missed him next to you but that Ben was a good substitute. Friday the confirmation from him comes that he will land at the airport the next morning and despite the fact that you want to pick up him, he insists that it is better that you avoid the chaos at the airport and grumbling you eventually agree.

"Have you spoken with the gynecologist to induce labor?" he asks. 

"Yes, but she does not recommend it." 

"Really?" he says, disappointed. 

"Really, she understands the reason and if the placenta would not have been torn it had not been a problem but since that is the case .... induce labor may cause further tearing and in the worst case scenario it can slide down and obstruct the way for the baby." you explain. 

"Well, I guess I'll tell Jeremy tonight that I might need his jet." 

"Let's hope it will not come to that....oh god."you say, rubbing your stomach when the baby kicks.

"What? What is it?"

"It's the baby, the kicking starts to hurt more." you say.

"Is that okay?" Tom asks and you hear the worry in his voice.

"Yes it is, the gynecologist told me that every day the baby still grows and the room gets smaller and smaller so it's perfectly normal."

"Good, can't wait untill I'm home and I can feel it."

"Me neither."you say.

Before you say goodbye to him you wish him a lovely last evening with his colleagues and you decide to go to bed early, the sooner you sleep, the sooner it is morning and the sooner you see Tom again. 

When you sit on the couch the next morning with Oakley at your feet and you hear a door slam you look up and Oakley sits up. When you get up and walk to the door and open it and you see Tom you smile, Oakley runs up to him barking and greets him effusively but Tom only has eyes for you. You lean against the door frame and move your hand over your stomach and when he stands before you his fingers disappear in your hair and he pulls you towards him to kiss you deeply. Your arms slide around his neck and you press yourself as close as possible against him. After the kiss he lays his forehead against yours and you close your eyes. 

"I've missed you so bloody much." he breathes. 

"I missed you too." you answer. 

Tom puts his backpack down at the stairs and you walk into the living room but instead of the couch you pull him to the bed. He looks at you in surprise and you smile. 

"I just want to lie down, your arms around me and your body against mine."

Tom smiles and he lies down behind you, arm around your waist and your hands entwined on your abdomen where your baby is busy kicking. You close your eyes and Tom leads your hands under your shirt and you shiver when his fingers glide over your bare skin, lightly turning circles and you feel his puffs of his breath against your neck. When Tom suddenly lets his fingers disappear under the band of your pants you grab his wrist.

"What are you doing?" you ask. 

"I want to pleasure you." he says and kisses your neck. 

"But Oakley is right there ..." 

"So? He sleeps and it is a dog." Tom says, not understanding you. 

He squirms his wrist free and his fingers creep further down to disappear in your briefs. 

"Open up for me, darling." he whispers in your ear.

Without hesitation you put your foot on the mattress and give him the space he needs and when you feel his fingers slide over your slit you moan lightly. You look at Oakley who's ears perk up but he remains lying, Tom's fingers slip into you and you roll your hips forward. Tom hooks his leg around your ankle and pulls your leg further up so he can go deeper inside and your fingers grasp the sheet and you arch your back. He pushes two fingers inside you and his thumb finds your clit and plays with it, you feel you climax quickly approaching and you turn your head towards Tom and whisper his name softly.

"Come for me, y/n." 

There rolls a explosive orgasm through your body and you jerk on the bed while Tom's fingers remain moving inside you until you are back on earth again. You breathe heavily and when you find yourself pushed against Tom's front you feel his erection in your lower back. Automatically you reach behind you with your hand but Tom grabs your hand and laces your fingers to put them on your belly. You're too tired to protest and in the safe and protected embrace of your husband you fall asleep.

When you wake up you are still lying in Tom's arms, fingers entwined on your belly and you bring them to your mouth to kiss them before you turn yourself around in his arms and seek his eyes. They look at you with love and affection and you crawl closer to him to kiss him. His arm finds a way around your waist and he pulls you up against him while kissing. Eventually you take a little distance and without further ado you cup him through his pants and when you begin to massage him his breathing falters in his throat. He opens his mouth to say something but you lean forward and swallows his words when kissing him. Your fingers open his pants and your hand slips beneath the waistband of his boxer so that you can take him in your hand. While massaging you feel him quickly harden and your finger follows the vein from the bottom to the top. When your finger slides over his tip you feel some moisture and you spread it before you speed up your movements. Tom rocks his hips forward and closes his eyes while he lays his head in his neck. Your eyes go over his long slender neck and you lean forward to kiss it and lick and when you lick the spot under his ear swears he under his breath and soon you feel his body shake beneath your touch and his seed smearing his shirt and your hand. His hand cups the back of your head and he kisses you softly.

"God I missed your touch." he gasps. 

"I noticed it." you smile. 

"I know that Skype has made us creative, but your hand feels so much better than mine." 

He kisses you a few more times before he sighs and looks at you. 

"I need a shower." 

You look up at him and nod. 

"How about I get some clothes from upstairs for myself to then take a shower together down here?" 

"Sounds good." you say, you face lightening up at the prospect that you will finally share a shower with him again.

While Tom goes upstairs to get some clothes you walk into the bathroom and open the taps to warm the water. You let the sheet fall to the ground and your eyes falls on your mirror image, you turn so you can see yourself from the side and your eyes wander over your body. 

"God, you're so beautiful." Tom sighs.

You smile while Tom stands behind you and he places his arms around your waist and his hands on your swollen belly. You look up at him and he leans towards you to give you a kiss. 

"Come." he says.

He takes you under the shower and you take the necessary time to clean each other. You say nothing, just enjoy the intimate moment together, and after the shower, Tom wants to dry you but you quickly take the towel from him. 

"No, I'll do it myself." you say. 

"Okay." Tom says doubtfully.

When you put your clothes on, you in a loose fitting nightgown and Tom in a clean boxer, you walk into the room and you go to bed right away. You're lying on your side and stare at the sky, you feel the bed behind you dip when Tom lies down behind you and his hand slips around your waist and he laughs when he feels the baby kicking. However, when you do not respond, he comes up and searches your eyes but you keep looking forward.

"What's wrong?" he asks. 

"Nothing." 

"Yes, there is." 

"No, Tom, just go to sleep." 

"Not until you tell me what's bothering you." 

You sigh and close your eyes, you feel Tom kissing your neck. 

"Please." he says. 

You slowly roll on your back and look at the ceiling, avoiding Tom's eyes, but he places his finger under your chin and turns your face towards him. For a moment you look at each other.

"I just can't understand how you can find me beautiful." 

"What?" 

"I do not feel beautiful, my face is puffy, my ankles are bloated and I can't even get my ring off because my fingers are too fat." you say. 

"So you think I'm lying when I say you are?" 

"I don't know." 

"You really think I would lie to you?" Tom says. 

Instead of the shock that you doubt his words you can hear the pain and disbelief and you see the same thing in his eyes. 

"I'm sorry," you say and caresses his cheek, "forget it, go to sleep."

You want to turn away from him but suddenly Tom puts his hand on your cheek and kisses you intensely and deeply. You are taken by surprise by the kiss but soon you kiss him back, the kiss seems to last an eternity and yet not long enough before you feel him breaking it and his fingers move over your lips, waiting for you to look at him and when you do he looks serious. 

"I would never lie to you, ever." he says and the tone in his voice leaves no room for argument.

"I know and I'm sorry, I did not...." 

"You are beautiful, in every possible way, always," he whispers, "when you just woke up and your hair is tousled, when you've cried and got red and swollen eyes, even when your wearing sweatpants and a loose-fitting jersey and my personal favorite, you in one of my shirts."

"Not naked?" you say and Tom laughs.

"No, because I want to be the one to get you naked, but you always take my breath away, darling."

Again he comes forward to kiss you fiercely and your hands reach out to come to rest on his chest. His hand leaves your cheek and slides over your shoulder, taking your strap with it and sliding in down your shoulder until your breast is exposed to him. He cups it with his hand while his tongue makes a path down and when his lips close around your nipple you moan softly. Then his hand moves further down and caresses your stomach before his fingers moves further down and slips beneath your gown before it dances upwards taking your gown with it. Your hands ball into fists beside you when you feel his fingers moving over the already wet spot on your slip. 

"Wet already for me, darling?"

"Hmm, just please..."

Tom smiles and comes up slowly to kiss you softly on the lips.

"Please what?"

"Touch me." 

His lips move to your neck and end up at your ear, biting your earlobe.

"I am touching you."

You roll your eyes and raise your hips off the bed, trying to make your point, Tom smiles and his hand slips in your slip and he carresses your slit making you groan.

"Like that?"

"Yes, just like that, god that feels so good...."

"Just wait untill I'm inside you, fucking you with my fingers, tongue, cock, whatever you want."

"I want it all." 

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

He opens you up and his thumb finds your clit and plays with it while his lips draw a path down. He kisses your thighs and slowly works his way to your slit, and when he arrives at it, he lets his tongue run around it before he makes a line over your slit from behind to front. Your hand moves to his head and you're thankful that his hair a little longer and you can grasp it to push him against you. You feel him grin against you slit and he slowly pushes his tongue into you while his thumb keeps playing with your clit, caressing, pushing, pinching, it drives you crazy with pleasure and your hips come up of the bed while at the same time you push his face against you, fucking yourself on his tongue and when suddenly two fingers push inside you your breath falters in your throat. You press your head in the pillow and when you feel you are approaching orgasm your mouth forms a perfect 'o' and when you tumble over the edge you feel two lips in your neck, slowly kissing a way up.

"And you are absolument magnifique when you cum." he whispers in your ear. 

Tom continues to stimulate your clit until you are back on earth again and your breathing heavily and lick your dry lips. 

"Shit,"you say hoarsely,"that was really good." 

"You're welcome, the pleasure was all mine,"Tom pulls you against him and kisses your forehead,"get some sleep, my beautiful wife." 

You snuggle up against him, and with a smile on your lips you fall asleep.

The next morning your up early and because Tom was still fast asleep you decided to let him catch up on some of it and with Oakley you walk downstairs to make breakfast. Just when your finished with setting the table outside two arms slip around your waist and lips kiss your neck.

"When I woke up you were gone," he says and kisses your neck,"I don't like it when I wake up and your gone."

You smile and look up at him, your hand against his cheek and he leans down to kiss you. After the kiss you both sit down and start breakfast.

"I went to Jacob's birthday last weekend." you say.

"How did that go?"

"Good, met some of the neighbours, they were very friendly. I gave him the copy of the pirate fairy, he was very excited about that."

"I hope he likes it."

"I'm sure he will, it's a great movie," you say and lean back to rub your stomach,"Amelia told me that after the baby is born it might be a good idea to hire a sitter to help me with the baby when your gone."

"Is that really neccesery? With mom, dad and Emma around to help?"

"I'm sure they would love to help me, but taking care of a new born takes up a lot of time, why do you think that dad's get time off of work to help the mother?"

"I'm sorry I can't."

"Me too, but that's just the way it is."

"So, were are we going to find one?"

"Amelia told me that Jack and Olivia have this cousin, Sharon, who babysits some of the kids in this neighbourhood and that she could ask her."

"That's a good idea."

"Yeah, I don't know."

"Why not? You said yourself you could use the help." Tom says, not understanding.

"I could, but...she told me that Sharon is a big fan of yours, has so many posters of you on her bedroomwall you can hardly see the color of it."

"Seriously? I'm flattered." Tom says smiling.

"I'm sure you are." you whisper and look at your hands.

"Why are you saying it like that?"

"Well, because....she's a fan, Tom, she will be in your house, your livingroom, your kitchen, your bedroom, caring for your child."

"Why don't you ask Jack and Olivia to send Sharon over before the baby is born and spent the day, get to know her and when you get along hire her and when you don't, don't." he says, shrugging his shoulders.

"And what should I say when I don't hire her, that I'm afraid she will steal my husband away from me?" 

"What?" Tom says laughing, looking at you surprised. 

"Nothing." you mumble.

"Darling, nobody is going to steal me away from you, no one would ever be able to, it ought to be the other way around, I should be the one that should be afraid that some day some one will steal you away from me." 

"That's ridiculous." 

"No it is not, have you forgotten what I said last night?" 

He kisses your hands and goes sitting astride on the lounge seat. 

"Come here, you." 

He pulls you out of your chair and between his legs, shoulder against his sternum.

"I meant it," he says and kisses you temple,"my whole life I have dreamed of a woman like you by my side." 

"I know that." 

"Yes? Or should I prove it again?" 

"Well, I suddenly remember that you owe me something." you say. 

You look at him and raise your eyebrow, Tom laughs and remembers it also. 

"Here?" 

Your eyes watch Oakley, but Tom lays his finger under your chin and turns your face towards him. 

"It's just a dog." 

"I know, I just don't like it when he watches something so... intimate between us and moreover," you look around you, "I know our house is surrounded by a big fence and we have an alarm but Lisa managed to come in two times, maybe more."

"Let's go inside then." he says.

You nod and stand up, lacing fingers with Tom and while Tom gestures to Oakley he should go play with his toys you pull him inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> absolument magnifique -> absolutely magnificently


	74. chapter 70

Tom slides the door closed behind him and he turns you around very slowly, his hands slide up over your arms and he cups your face to kiss your deeply. You sigh longingly into his mouth and he smiles. After the kiss he lays his forehead against yours and both your eyes look at his hands as they slide down and curl around the hem of your shirt. You watch how he raises his hands up slowly and takes your shirt with them to pull it off you, you feel yourself blush when your large maternity bra comes into sight and you hear Tom whisteling softly between his teeth when he sees your pink lacy bra that has a small stone in the middle and straps that run above your breasts.

"I had no idea that there are such sexy bras for pregnant women." he says appreciatively. 

"Neither did I, I've only bought them to make myself feel a bit sexy while I look like a bloated whale." 

"Well, that didn't really work then." he says.

"What?" you ask, blinking surprised at him.

"It doesn't make you a bit sexy, it makes you dangerously sexy."

You breath out relieved and Tom leans forward to kiss your neck before he leans back again and lays his finger under your chin to look at you.

"And although seeing you like this is a real treat for my eyes, you have absolutly no need for sexy underwear because you know that to me you're always sexy." 

His finger slides down and gently skim over the straps above your breasts and because of their sensitivity your nipples harden immediately. 

"Is that silk?" he asks. 

"Yes, the inside is too, my breasts are too sensitive for cotton," you say with faltering breath,"just to bad that the straps are cutting into my shoulders." 

"Well, let's take them off then, shall we." he says.

Before you can say anything he slides the straps off your shoulders and you pull your arms through them, Tom lets his hands go to your back and opens the closure so that it falls to the ground. Tom pushes you back gently and he helps you to sit on the edge of the bed before he sits down on his knees between your legs. Immediately he leans forward to take a nipple in his mouth and the other he cups with his fingers, massaging it softly. You moan and put your head in your neck while you let the fingers of one hand go into his hair and the fingers of your other hand fist the sheet. You feel his tongue caressing your nipple, licking and sometimes biting playfully, while the fingers of his other hand fondle your other breast and his thumb strokes your nipple. 

"God, if you keep this up, I'm going to cum already." you gasp. 

"From just touching your breasts? That would be a first." he mumbles against your skin. 

"Yeah, well, my breasts are extremely sensitive because of the pregnancy, so your touch there combined with your sexy voice ...." 

When he moves his tongue to your other nipple his hands move to your back and slip into your slip and he cups your buttucks while he slides you firmly against him. You make a protesting sound when he stops to caress you but your protests are being swallowed by him when he kisses you intense. One hand is placed next to you on the bed and the other supports your back while he slowly pushes you back while kissing until you are lying on your back. He playfully bites your lower lip before he distances himself from you and his eyes move down over your naked body. 

"Such a beauty." he says.

Tom's hands slide under your thighs to remove your matching slip before his hands grab your hips to pull you carefully towards the end of the bed. You feel his soft lips planting kisses on your thigh, he slowly works his way up and when he has almost reached your slit his kisses move to your other thigh. Your hands fists in the sheet to keep you from touching yourself and when you finally feel his tongue at your intimate place you moan loudly and you feel an electric shock shooting through your body. Tom smiles against your skin and licks a path to your clit, his tongue stroking over it, softly and volatile and you almost explode with pleasure. Because of the hormones that have thrown your whole body completely upside down you already feel a tingle in your stomach and when he takes your clit between his lips and the rough of his tongue strokes over it your fingers grab his hair. 

"Tom, please ...." you gasp,"I am really going to cum if you keep this up." 

"Then cum." he mumbles against your clit and the vibrations make you tense your muscles. 

"No, I don't want to, I want to feel you inside me, I need to feel you inside me, please, please just fuck me."

"Well, I did promise." 

"Yes you did." you say.

Your hands go to his shirt and you pull it off him, you caress his chest before going to his pants and you open it and push it over his hips with his briefs and his erection springs up, you chuckle and look at him mischievously. 

"Already hard?" 

"I told you, you're very sexy, how much more proof do you need?"

Tom kisses you before he holds the sheet up and you slide to the middle of the bed, Tom lies down on his back and you straddle him, for a moment you lean forward to kiss him and you feel how his hands slide up your legs and settle on your hips. You wriggle your hand between your bodies and grab his erection firmly to align it against your slit and you sink down slowly until it is completely within you. When you sit up straight you moan and you put your head into your neck, slowly rocking back and forth, alternating with circular motion. Tom pulls his legs up and you lean against them so he can slip deeper into you and when he rocks his hips up your breath falters in your throat. You let Tom set the pace and his fingers find their way up over your arms, your collarbones, breasts where he takes his time, caressing, pinching and eventually thay sink lower to caress your pregnant belly to end at you clit that he stimulates. You tilt your hips forward to give him more space and when you hear him groan you look at him, his eyes are on the spot where you are connected and on a whim you let your hand sink to circle the base of his dick with your thumb and forefinger and when he rolls his hips up, he closes his eyes and groans deep in his throat.

"Fuck, y/n." he gasps. 

"You like that?" 

"Yeah, so good..." 

Tom speeds up the pace and you put your free hand beside his head but keep your fingers around his base, with each upward thrust you push your hips against him and soon you feel a tingle in your stomach. 

"Are you close?" you ask. 

"So fucking close." 

"Together, my love." 

"Hmm ..." 

Tom thrust a few times more and when you let go of his base he comes immediately and takes you into the depths with him. You collapse on top of him and his arms immediately close around you and when your breathing is under control you carefully slide off him to lie next to him on your back. Tom lies on his side and looks at you, his fingers caressing your arm and you immediately get goose bumps, he smiles and kisses your cheek. 

"I'm going for a run with Oakley, you just stay in bed." 

You nod, unable to say anything and certainly not able to get out of bed now.

 

That weekend his parents and sister comes by with her family, and Sunday is spent with Ben and Sophie, you have deliberately done that in one weekend to ensure that the time Tom can still be with you, it is really just the two of you. When you are sitting on the couch one afternoon, you're on the laptop and Tom leafs through the script of I saw the Light when you shake your head.

"What is it?" 

"Some have some criticism on the fact that a relatively unknown Brit is going to play a legend like Hank Williams." you say and look at him. 

"I know, I have seen it." Tom sighs. 

"It doesn't bother you?" 

"No, it just encourages me to do my best even more and to prove them wrong." 

"I'm sure you can do that, I believe in you and your fans too." 

"That's all that matters to me." he says and kisses your lips.

In the next week you do experience some increasing problems with walking and your back also starts to hurt a lot. Tom helps where he can and how he can and he is very sweet and caring towards you. 

Cooking food is out of the question, you can only stand still for about ten minutes and because cooking has never been Tom's strong point you mostly live off oven dishes and things that only require two pans. Often, you are already in bed halfway through the evening, you on your side with Tom close behind you, arm around your waist and fingers locked together.

Despite the fact that he's stuck mostly indoors, he doesn't complain for a moment, doesn't try to persuade you to go somewhere or do something or indicated that the walls are closing in on him. He seems very content to just stay inside with you and Oakley and care for you, giving you everything you need and want. You're glad he supports you as he does and it makes you only love him more even though you never had thought that was possible.

"I miss you." he says suddenly. 

"What do you mean?" 

"Well, it's been almost two weeks since we made love. That is long for us." he mumbles against your skin. 

"I know, my libido just very low due to the pregnancy," you say, and rub your stomach,"however, that does not mean I'm not in the mood, or that I do not want you, as long as you do not mind doing the work .... "

"Never, you know that."

You smile and Tom leans over you to kiss you, one hand slides up and cups your breast through the fabric of your gown and massages it gently making you moan aloud. 

"I love it that your breasts are so sensitive," he says,"lay a leg up." 

You lay one leg up and immediately Tom straddles your other leg, the leg you laid up, he caresses gently with his fingers. The other still massages your breast, his thumb caressing your nipple until it's hard and his lips are still kissing yours.

He lets his hand slowly wander down and up again underneath your gown until the fabric is hitched up and around your hips. He takes some distance from you and then he frees his erection and you smile when you see it. 

"I still can not believe that I, as I look can still excite you." 

"You better believe it because it's the truth." 

Tom smiles and kisses your hip before he places himself over one of your legs. 

"Wrap your other leg around my waist, sweetheart." he says.

With a little help you wrap your leg around his waist and you feel his fingers pushing your slip aside and when he rolls his hips slightly forward the tip disappears into you and you moan. Tom sets his hands beside your side and thrust his erection all the way inside you. The pace is slow and the thrusts are cautious, too cautious and you notice that Tom is holding back and you sigh. 

"Come on, Tom, fuck me for real." 

"I don't want to hurt you." 

"You won't." you say. 

"Are you sure?" 

"Yes, make me feel it."

The thrusts are immediately harder and deeper and you moan of pleasure when he touches your deepest spot. You strengthen the grip of your leg around his waist to urge him to push harder and he complies. Tom leans forward and kisses and licks your neck and when he moves down and starts kissing your breast your fingers search his to intertwine them together. His free hand glides down over your body and rests on your pregnant belly that he lovingly caresses and when he feels his baby kick he smiles against your skin. His pace falters a bit because of it but you push your ankle in his back and immediately he complies again. His fingers caress your body, every place they can reach and his lips kiss your neck and sometimes teeth bite. Tom finally comes up and sits on his knees so he can better focus on his thrusting and your breath hitches in your throat when you feel him deeper and better than ever. It is not long before you reach your peak and Tom follows soon. Panting he lies down next to you and pulls your close against his chest. 

"I love you so much, you are my everything, my whole world, you are the love of my life, votre mon coeur et son âme, l'air que je besoin de respirer, de l'oxygène que je dois de vivre, ." 

"I have know idea what that last sentence means but god, hearing you speaking French is so sexy." you say.

Tom laughs and pulls you closer to kiss you.

"Can I ask you something?" he asks.

"Sure."

"Besides Loki, is there another character of mine that was your favorite?"

"Hm, let me think, well, Magnus was cute, and Bill too. And Edward in Archipelage and William from Cranford."

"Is it a coincidence that all of those characters have curls?"

"Yes and no, but Bill was cute, namely because he was so sweet and young and naive and untroubled just like William. Edward was because he was troubled and sweet making you just want to pull him through the tv and hug him. And Magnus was just plain sexy, and of course, there's something about a man who can legally carry a gun and handcuffs." 

"I must remember that." he says and kisses your shoulder.

 

At the end of the week, when Tom has just returned from a run with Oakley and underway surprised by a heavy rainfall, he wants to walk into the shower to change clothes, he has laid some clothing and toiletries in the bathroom to be away from you as little as possible, when his mobile rings.

"Yes, this is him ..." you hear him say while you let your eyes appreciatively go over his muscular upper body, because his white shirt has become completely transparent, suddenly he stops mid-step and your eyes go up just when he turns around and looks at you. 

"Are you serious?" he asks, still breathing heavily from running. 

Oakley peers around the corner of the bathroom door to see what is keeping his boss away and begins to bark to get his attention but Tom raises his hand to him, indicating that he should be quiet and Oakley obeys immediately.

"Yes, absolutely, that would be great, thank you." 

When he hangs up he looks in disbelief as his mobile before he looks at you. 

"Well? Who was that?" you ask. 

"That was Rodney Crowell." he says. 

"Sorry, never heard of him." you say. 

"Well I did, when I was doing research for Hank, I came across his name regularly. He is an American musician, known primarily for his work as a singer and songwriter in country music. Crowell has had five number one singles on Hot Country Songs, all from his 1988 album Diamonds & Dirt. He has also written songs and produced for other artists. In August 1972 he moved to Nashville, Tennessee."

"And he wants to help you?" 

"Yes, he even suggested that I move in with him so he can help me with the accent and he can learn me to play the guitar." 

"That's nice of him." 

"Yes, it is," he says and places his cell phone on the table before he gives you a kiss,"I'm going to dry off Oakley and then take a quick shower."

After Tom let out Oakley from the bathroom he takes his shower while Oakley nestles himself at your feet and he closes his eyes. You follow his example and close your eyes and lay your head back on the head rest and rub your hands over your belly. When suddenly a hand is pushed under yours you gasp for breath. 

"It's okay, it's just me." Tom says. 

"Hmm, I must have fallen asleep." you answer. 

You shift position so that Tom can lay his arms around you and you place your head on his shoulder and he kisses your forehead.

"You okay?" 

"Yes, I just .... I am done with being stuck indoors, to not be able to put five steps without being out of breath, I just want this baby to be born."

"Me too, I can not tell you how much, and how much I hope that happens before I have to leave." 

"Me too," you say and look at him,"but if I do go into labor when you're not here, is there a specific hospital that you want me to go?" 

"The Portland Hospital in Westminster." 

"Why that one?" 

"Because celebrities often go there when they need surgery or give birth, the staff is very professional and discreet and they are used to celebrities and there is a lot of security around." 

"Have you already phoned Jeremy?" 

"Yes, his jet will be ready to take me away next Sunday." he says. 

"What time is it?" 

"Almost time to go."

When it's time to go to the hospital, Tom helps you to the car and to sit down. At the hospital you don't have to wait long for your turn and with Tom's help you get on the table. The gynecologist lubricates your belly with gel and places the dopler on it so you hear your baby's heartbeat immediately. No matter how many times you've already heard it, it remains a wonderful sound to hear and Tom takes your hand and squeezes it. 

"The descent has begun." she says. 

"What?" you ask.

"The descent of your baby, look, the head is pointing down. Do you suffer from pains in your abdomen? Close to your vagina?" 

"Yes, regularly." 

"That's normal, some women experience a crampy, a menstrual-like feeling during this time in which your cervix ripens and the stage is set for true labor." 

"How do I know the difference between pre-labor and real labor?" you ask. 

"Pre-labor pains are unlike real contractions, very irregular and do not last as long. Often less than half a minute and don't ebb away, but often disappear suddenly. And there is one other difference that tells you your going into labor."

"What is that?"

"Your water will break, the fluid-filled amniotic sac surrounding your baby will rupture and fluid will leak from your vagina. And whether it comes out in a large gush or a small trickle doesn't matter but labor usually follows soon. You should call me right away when this happens." 

"Okay."

Then the gynecologist turns to you and you look up at her.

"I would also advise you that when your water breaks, to immediately call Tom and tell him to come home. Usually, after the breaking of the water the contractions go under way within 24 hours so in the most favorable case that gives him enough time to get to you."

"I will."

"And I would aslo suggest to call someone else to support and help you until Tom is with you. Think about it, it must be someone you're very close with, someone who can calm you down and you trust, the contractions can be very painful and some women shout the most amazing things, that person must be able to stand it, preferably someone who also has children and has experienced it."

"I will, thank you."

After you and Tom said goodbye and have returned home you let yourself fall exhausted on the couch. Tom smiles and sits down next to you and you look at him angrily. 

"Do not laugh, it's not funny." you complain. 

"Sorry, darling," he says, and kisses your hand, "how about a bath? To relax and to calm down?" 

"That sounds wonderful but only if you join me." 

"Of course, I'll be right back."

Tom walks into the bathroom and turns on the taps after which he comes to collect you and takes you to the bathroom, he helps you to undress and then he gets in the bath first and reaches out his hand to help you. Tom sits down with his back against the edge and you between his legs. Your hands on his knees and his on your pregnant belly, his lips gently move over the skin in your neck, you hum content and you feel your body completely relaxing and you become sleepy. Normally you always wake to not fall asleep in the bath, but now you're in Tom's secure arms and you know that he will watch over you and you close your eyes. However, you wake up when you feel soft kisses your neck and on your shoulder and between the kisses he mentions your name.

"Tom?" 

At that time you feel a deep pain in your groin and your hands go there, you moan softly and squeeze your eyes shut. Tom feels your pain and kisses your neck while he laces his fingers with yours. 

"It's okay, I'm here, just relax, take a deep breath." 

You do what he says, and after about a minute the pain fades away, as the gynecologist had told.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, god that really hurt."

"I know and I'm so sorry, darling."

You realize that the water has turned cold and you sit up.

"I want to get out, help me up."

Tom does what you say and he helps you up, gives you a towel so you can dry yourself and you dress yourself in your gown while Tom puts on a dweatpants and jersey to let Oakley out for a walk and by the time he gets back your already asleep.


	75. chapter 71

Later that week, Emma suddenly stands on the doorstep and when you want to say something she speaks up. 

"I'm here to take you away." 

"Where to?" 

"A day at a spa resort." 

"What?" you ask. 

Then Tom walks into the hall and looks at you. 

"I have called Emma and told her what happened, I think you deserve a pampering day." 

"You pamper me enough," you say,"and your only here for a couple of days longer and I want to spent that time with you."

Tom smiles and takes your hand. 

"Darling, these are professionals, they know exactly what to do and how to do it to make you forget everything and to completly relax."

"I know but..."

"No but's, just go and when you get back, I have a surprise for you."

You give Tom a kiss and allow Emma to help you in your coat, you walk down the driveway to her car and when Emma drives off you wave to Tom. 

"I'm sorry that the pregnancy is going so difficult." she says. 

"Me too." you say and let your hands wander over your belly. 

When Emma parks the car at the spa resort and when you get out you look around you with wide eyes. Everywhere you see large green meadows, flowers, pools, massage cabanas and several women in robes.

"Can I help you?" you hear a woman asking.

"My name is Emma Hiddleston and this is y/n Hiddleston, we have reservations for today."

"Oh yeah, that's right, if you want to follow me?" 

The woman is walking ahead of you to a cottage on the edge of the park, it's not big but it has everything you need; a living room, kitchen, bedroom and bathroom. In the living room she turns to you and smiles. 

"I will give you time to take a rest, in about half an hour you will be picked up for the first treatment." 

Before you can say anything the woman is gone and you and Emma first take a cup of tea and when you are picked up by a member of the spa resort she takes you inside a building where several rooms are and she leaves you in a room with two massage chairs and the message that you can take off your clothes and replace it with a large soft towel.

"Good morning, my name is Leah and this is Susan, you masseuses." 

You and Emma shake hands with the women and Leah turns to you. 

"I'll be yours masseuse and Susan will take care of Emma." she says. 

Leah points to the massage chair and she help you to lie down, from the corner of your eye you see that Emma lies down in the chair beside you. 

"Emma will get a soothing relaxation massage from my colleague and I'll give you a Yummy Tummy & Lighten Up massage." 

"A what?" you ask.

"That's a massage for pregnant women, we have different ones but this is most commonly done, it is especially for the skin of the pregnant belly. Particularly the stomach needs extra attention during pregnancy to enhance it's elasticity, firmness and health, "Leah explains as she picks up a bottle of oil, and shows it to you," this specially formulated oil, a concentrated serum and a soothing mask is applied to the abdomen. While that is soaking, I will give you a face and scalp massage, followed by a neck and shoulder massage that will ease tensions."

You get a second towel handed that you can lay over your breasts so she can rub your stomach with the oil that instantly feels warm on your stomach and creates a tingling feeling and you sigh content while your eyes close. You concentrate totally on the hands that gently but thoroughly massage your stomach. 

"Oh that feels heavenly." you say. 

"Thank you." Leah says. 

After she has been working for about a quarter you feel yourself falling asleep and you can not suppress a yawn. 

"Is it terrible if I fall asleep?" 

"No, not at all, that's a compliment, so by all means, fall asleep."

With a smile on your face you fall asleep only to wake up when you feel hands slipping into your hair and start massaging your scalp followed by a facial and neck and shoulder massage. When Leah is done with you, you feel like a new person and you see that Emma is now sitting upright on the table and looks at you smiling. 

"You look better already." 

"I feel great too." you say. 

Leah finishes your treatment and moves herself to your feet to give you a mineral-rich foot bath and a massage and after ten minutes she looks at you. 

"You are done." she says.

You thank her for the delightful treatment and you and Emma go back to your cottage before you eat a light luch and suddenly you remember what the gynecologist said.

"Emma, can I ask you something?" 

"Of course." 

"The gynecologist advised me that if I'm going into labor while Tom is in America, to call someone who can help me in the hours when he is not there. I would like that to be you." 

"Seriously?" 

"Yes, you've given birth to two children and know what it is and besides, I trust you, I want you with me anyway." 

"It would be an honor, honestly." 

"Thank you."

At the beginning of the afternoon a body treatment stands on the program. You and Emma undres until you are only wearing a slip and bra and then you lie down on a kind of waterbed that has a temperature of about 39 degrees Celsius and you are then coated with chocolate. Thereafter, there lay foil over you and you need to soak it in for approximately 40 minutes. According to the lady of the resort the chocolate works moisture drifting, energizing and slimming and the skin feels silky soft afterwards. When the forty minutes are up you are led to a room with a large round bath which is galvanized into the floor to wash the chocolate of your bodies. It is warm and you regret it when you have to get out. The day ends with a traditional Swedish massage where many massage techniques are used which makes muscles relax and circulation is stimulated.

When Emma drives up the driveway of your home an hour later, you step out but she herself remains in the car and you look at her. 

"Get inside, Tom is waiting for you." she says, winking.

Then you remember that he had a surprise for you and you smile, you thank her for the wonderful day but Emma says you should thank Tom, it was his idea. When you walk into the hall a delightful scent comes towards you and through the arch you can see that Tom has put down candles throughout the room and when you walk inside you hear soft music playing and you see rose petals lying in different places. You smile and when you see movement in your peripheral vision you look around and you see Tom, leaning against the wall and he walks towards you, hands behind his back.

"How was it?" he asks. 

"Lovely, thank you, I really needed that." 

"Like I said, you deserved it." 

He leans forward to give you a kiss and when he leans back, he holds his hand up and you see that he holds a single rose which he offers you. You smile and take it to smell it and therefore you also smell the delicious air from the kitchen again.

"You've cooked?" 

"Yes, but nothing fancy," he says,"I still feel awful about what happened back in Belfast."

You remember what happened and smile when you realize this is his way of saying how sorry he was for that, the music, the candles, the rose petals.

He takes your hand in his and leads you through the kitchen to the dining room, he holds a chair back for you and slides it forward while you sit. Then you see that there is a pan of spaghetti on the table with a smaller pan with sauce and you laugh. 

"You've cooked spaghetti for me. How sweet of you." 

During dinner you tell Tom everything that Emma and you did and that you asked her to be with you when you go into labor untill Tom is with you and that she agreed.

"Of course she would, wait a munite, they coated you in chocolate."

"They did." you smile.

"Good thing I wasn't there cause they would have had to stop me from licking it off you."

"Seriously?" you say.

"Yeah, very seriously, god, you in chocolate, maybe some whipcream, strawberries...." he answers.

"Well, just make a mentall note of that, together with the handcuffs." you say, smirking. 

Tom moans at the thought alone and you laugh, after dinner he stands up and offers you his hand.

"Dance with me." 

"It would be my pleasure." 

Tom takes you to the living room and gathers you close to him, you put your head on his shoulder and your arms around his neck while his slowly wander across your back and eventually they slip under your shirt and carres your bare skin making you shiver. Then he places his finger under your chin and tilts your face up so he can kiss you while he pushes you backwards until you bump against a table and he pushes you onto it. You spread your legs so that he can stand in between and he hooks his hands under your knees and he draws you against him. Your lips find each other again and the kiss is intense and full of fire and passion. He rolls his hips forward and you moan when you feel how hard he is. His hands go up over your legs and they slip under your shirt that he pulls off you instantly and throws away. You feel his hands go down over your bare back and they dip below the band of your jeans to pull you even tighter against him making some papers fall to the ground. He kisses your cheek, your neck and his lips descend to your collarbone where he gently bites you. You moan and your hands go into his hair and you lay your head back while Tom is getting lower with his lips until he reaches your belly button. His hands slide over your body and leave a trail of goosebumps behind in their wake. Your hands find their way to the hem of his shirt and he comes up slightly so you can pull it off of him. Your eyes go over his muscular torso admiringly followed by your fingers and his muscles tense under your touch.

"Y/N ...."

He puts a finger under your chin and lifts your head up, when you find his eyes, they are almost black with lust and without hesitation you pull him down to kiss you, he kisses you back greedily and pushes you down until you are lying on the table. He covers your body with his own, which isn't easy seeing your bump is in the way again but somehow he manages, and you place your legs around him. His lips find their way back to your abdomen and when he gently bites you, your hand shoots aside and you accidental knock over a lamp that tumbles from the desk and shatters on the ground.

"Sorry." you say panting.

"I'll replace it." the answer is.

Your lips meet again and the kiss soon becomes intense and the desire to feel and caress takes over. Longing burns like a wildfire in both your bodies. Both of you let your hands go down and start to open each others pants, there being pushed down hips and the last piece to disappears is your bra. Panting you break the kiss and he lays his forehead against yours.

He lets the fingers of one hand caress it's way down and they leave a tingling trail on your body, he dips them between your legs and caress you slit making you groan and your head falls back against the desk.

"God, you're so ready for me." he says.

Tom crawls backwards off of the table and thrust his dick deep inside you, you let out a little scream and he curses with the feeling of such tightness around his shaft. The pace is immediately high and he fucks you rough and wildly on the desk. It the roughest sex you had since your pregnant but you want it, you need it. When he puts a hand on the desk you lock your ankles behind his back and you tilt your hips upwards to feel him slide deeper into you. His other hand cups your breast and he kneads it firmly while his lips attach themselves to your neck. Your hands slide into his hair and you moan out his name when his tip scrapes over your sensitive spot. You feel a warm tingling sensation in your stomach and you know you're close.

"Touch me." you gasp in his ear.

The hand that is on your breast disappears between your legs and he spreads you open with his fingers to let his thumb play with your clit and so he can thrust deeper into you.

"Harder." 

Tom pushes your legs up and out more and when he puts more power behind his thrusts you feel him go deeper then you had ever thought was possible and he groans with every movement, when you feel his hips stuttering you roll your hips up and together you reach an explosive climax. He kisses your neck and works his way up until he kisses your lips and looks at you.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, fine, I just, I need a minute, that's all."

"Okay."

Tom kisses your temple and lets his hands gently slide down and back up again and you sigh pleased, you put your head on his chest and hear his heart is still beating fast.

"I'm sorry for being so rough with you."

"It's okay, you didn't hurt me."

Tom slips his hands under you and carefully pulls you up and against him.

"Let's get you to bed."

You hum against his skin and slowly he helps you into bed, your lying on your back with Tom curled around you, hand intwined on your stomach and that is how you fall asleep.

The following days you frequently suffer from for labor pains and each time Tom helps you through it by holding you and rubbing your stomach, whispering in your ear that you should take deep breaths and repeats it until the labor pains are gone.

On the morning of the day that Tom is flying to Shreveport you wake up with a sad feeling and that feeling stays with you all day. You also act distant towards him and as the day progresses Tom finds it enough midafternoon. Without further ado he frames your face and kisses your deep and long.

"What was that for?" 

"Because I have been noticing all day that you're pulling away from me." 

You sigh and loosen yourself from him to turn around. 

"Maybe because it will make the moment you have to leave less dreadful. If I take some distance from you..." 

"You know that that won't make it less difficult." 

"I know."

After Tom has walked Oakley for the last time that night, he can't postpone it any longer. You sit on the couch and he sits down beside you, he pulls you in his arms and then places his hands on your belly and he smiles when he feels the baby kick. Suddenly you have to cry and immediately you feel two arms that hold you firmly and lips kissing your forehead. Oakley sits down at your feet and lays his head on your lap. Tom whispers sweet nothings in your ear, rubbing his hands over your back to get you quiet but the only thing it does is making you cry even harder.

"I'm sorry." you say through your tears.

"That's okay, I feel the same," he says and weaves his fingers through your hair, "God you have no idea how difficult it is for me to leave you like this." 

"I wish there was a way I could go with you." 

"Me too, nothing more, my darling." 

Tom let's you cry until it has changed into sobs and he looks at you, he wipes away your tears and frames your face.

"Promise me that if you suspect your going into labor, that you call me." 

"But what if it is not real labor? I do not want to drag you away from set for nothing, the others...." 

"The others do not matter, the only ones that matter for me right now, are you and the baby, I would rather have you dragging me away for nothing than that you wait too long and I'm to late, you don't want that either, do you?" 

"No, I want you with me."

"Exactly, and I want to be with you when our baby is born, so promise me that when you even have the slightest suspicion that your going into labor, call me." 

"I promise." 

"Good," he leans towards you to kiss you and then looks at you,"I'll call you as soon as I can, okay?" 

"Okay." 

Tom scratches Oakley's head briefly and then packs his bag to leave and suddenly you are alone. You keep staring at the door until Oakley barks and you look at him. He tilts his head and his ears stand upright making you laugh and you lean forward to hug him. After the hug you crawl into bed with Oakley at your feet but instead of falling asleep you feel tears coming again, you close your eyes and take a deep breath to calm yourself but's it's not working. After half an hour you realize why it's not working, it's because Tom isn't with you, because his arms are not around you and his voice isn't whispering in your ear. When you feel Oakley move towards you your arm moves around him and you pull him close, seeking comfort in him now and after some time you calm down again.

"Thank you Oakley." you whisper and finally you fall asleep.


	76. chapter 72

When Tom calls you, it is now Monday afternoon with you, his flight went well but it was weird to have a private jet available to him, the pilot has stated that when you call him, he should call him right away so he can arrange a flightplan and can ensure that he can take off. He is about to go to the set and he assures you again that when he arrives he immediately will tell Marc what the situation is. When Tom asks if everything goes well with you there is a silence and you sigh.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, I just wish you were here." 

"Me too, darling." 

"I'm just so bored being alone here, I get nowhere except around the block when I let out Oakley." 

"I'm sorry to hear that." 

"Yeah well, what can you do."

You talk a bit before he hangs up and you slowly walk to the kitchen to make some sandwiches for yourself. When you are done an hour later your sitting in the livingroom with Oakley on the couch in front of the TV when the doorbell rings. Oakley immediately starts barking and runs to the door. 

"Oakley, be still." you say and Oakley stops barking. 

It turns out that Diana and James are at the door, you're surprised to see them together and the first thing you notice is that they look like a couple. 

"Hey." you say.

It doens't escapes them and Diana blushes and James smiles while you let them come inside. While Diana gets some more tea, you and James walk to the living room and when you sit down he looks at you. 

"How are you?" 

"I'm okay, it is difficult, the last few days I have a lot of pre-labors and they hurt and at such moments I miss Tom to help me through it. The baby kicks a lot and it often hurts," you say, and your hand slides over your stomach,"and what about you?" 

At that time, Diana walks back into the room and she sits down, she looks at James and to your surprise they take each other's hands.

"Oh my god, you guys are back together." you say. 

"Well, back together," James says, "I don't know, we have a lot of fun together." 

"I've told him what you said, that we should take it easy and shouldn't rush things, that we both changed so we decided to start with the first step. Getting to know each other first and spending time together and then we will see if those feelings come back or not." 

"Well, that's good, very smart of you both and if you do get back together I think it's great, really."

You talk take a little bit and at the end of the evening you say goodbye, but not after you promised Diana that if she can do anything for you to call her. 

 

When the next day Amelia and little Anna suddenly stand on the pavement, you are surprised. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"I wanted to thank you for the DVD of The Pirate Fairy, Jacob finds it great." 

"Really?" you say surprised. 

"Yes, and Anna too, is it not?" 

The girl nods her head vehemently and you smile. 

"Well, I'm glad it is so much appreciated." you say.

"Yes, I actually did not know that Tom could sing so well, and I see that he also plays the piano?" she asks when she walks into the room. 

"Yes, and for his current film, he must learn to play guitar." 

"Oh that's nice." 

You see that Jessy instantly starts playing with Oakley. You yourself find it not so suitable that they play inside and release them in the garden through the sliding door. 

"You want a drink?" 

"Oh let me, I still know the way." Amelia says, and before you can do anything she already walks to the kitchen.

You slowly down and you look at Anna when she sits down next to you. You notice that she looks at your belly and frowns. 

"Want to feel again?" you ask. 

She looks up at you but does not answer, instead she looks towards the kitchen if she sees her mother and you follow her look.

"It's okay." 

Anna looks at you and smiles again before she nods. She puts her hand gently on your belly and immediately she feels the baby kick, she giggles and quickly pulls her hand away before she repeats it. 

"Anna be careful!" Amelia suddenly shouts.

The little girl takes her hand away as though she is burned and sits on the other side of the couch. You look surprised at Amelia and sees that she has stopped mid-step. 

"Sorry," she says,"sorry, I did not mean to scare you, I just ...." 

Amelia sets the tray down and gestures Anna that she should come to her, the girl instantly runs to her mother and she gets a hug. Amelia then looks at you and sighs once. 

"It's okay." you say. 

"I know, it's just...." 

"What?"

"Tom visited us yesterday evening before leaving for the airport. He told me what happened and that he is really very worried about you and the baby. He asked me if I wanted to look after you when he is gone and occasionally will go see if everything is going well and, god forbid, if anything should happen that there is someone who is with you." 

"So you're my babysitter?"

"What? No, you should not see it like that, I'm not here just because Tom asked me, I'm here because I like you. Your pregnancy is going so difficult which I'm very sorry for, a pregnancy is something so beautiful, it is a miracle that there is a small person growing inside you. You should be able to enjoy it, especially the first time."

"Thank you for saying that, I like you too and I hate the fact that this pregancy is going so difficult but I'm sure Tom and I will get another change at that."

"Yeah you want more kids?"

"Yeah I think so, if Tom wants them, of course."

"Oh, I would not worry about that, when Tom was with us that night and told us how awful he feels for leaving you....I always thought no man could ever love his woman more then my Ethan does me but after that night I realized I was wrong. That man is so much in love with you it's almost scary. He gets this twinkle in his eyes when he talks about you and a sound in his voice that betrayes just how much he loves and cares for you, it's obvious he's crazy about you."

"It is hard but we both knew what we were getting into when we decided to share our lives together."

"I know but it must be hard for you that Tom can't support you, especially because it's going so difficult, I wouldn't know what I would have done without Ethan. Did you think about what I said? About Sharon?" Amelia wants to know.

"Yeah, I talked to Tom about it too, it is very encouraging that she is so highly recommended by everyone but I would still like to meet her first before I hire her to help me." 

"Yes of course, that makes sense. I will pass it along to Olivia and let you know when she can come." 

"Okay." 

Amelia and Anna remain with you the rest of the afternoon and she shows you that she has seen the Pirate Fairy so often that she know some passages out of her head and even the song that is sung by Tom she knows and she even dances with it too. You quickly notice that Anna is a very cheerful and friendly girl. When you say goodbye to them you lean with your hands on your knees and look at her.

"You know, if I should have a girl, I would like her to be just like you are." 

Anna ducks her head down and smiles timid, you smile too and slowly stand back up. 

"I will soon be revisiting, if you find that okay of course." 

"Yeah, that would be nice, and take this delightful young lady along, too." 

"I will see you soon and if something happens, this is my phone number and my here is my mobile number, you can call me anytime, even in the middle of the night."

"Thank you." 

When they are gone you walk into the room with the card, even though you know Amelia not that good yet, you are moved by her concern. The next day she lets you know that Sharon can come that weekend and you arrange that she can come that Saturday afternoon. 

As promised Amelia and Anna visit you three times that week and Saturday afternoon Sharon stands at the door, after you drank something, she asks if she can see the nursery and because you can't climb stairs you wait downstairs for her on the couch along with Oakley. 

"It looks nice," she says when she comes back,"especially the two-colored walls, that's a nice touch." 

"Thank you."

During the afternoon you get to know her better and you realize that she did not one time has mentioned Tom or his movies or the characters he has played. You are very glad about that because you realize that you like her. And moreover she will have little to do with Tom because you only need her whenever he is not there to help you caring for the baby. When you get to the end of the afternoon you suddenly feel a severe pain in your groin, Sharon immediately notices what happens and sits behind you. She places her hands in your side and she starts to gently massage it. To your surprise, the pain goes away pretty quickly and you look at her.

"Thank you." 

"You're welcome, aunt Jocelyn also often suffered from it and this helped her." 

Sharon gets up and sits down across from you. 

"How do you do it with cooking?" 

"How do you mean?" 

"Well, considering the problems that you've had, I can imagine that you do not have the strength to cook yourself." 

"No, that's right, I mostly order in or I make a few sandwiches. But I eat a lot of fruit." 

"Good, fruit is good, but you should also eat healthy, I can cook for you tonight."

"What? I do not know ..." 

"Please, I cook at home very often." 

"Okay." 

"Well, I'll just see what you've got and, if necessary, just go to the store." 

Before you can say something she stands up and walks to the kitchen and a bit later she walks into the living room again and looks at you. 

"I really should go to the store, I want to make a pasta for you with a vegetable sauce and a nice fresh salad." 

"Sounds good." you say.

In the time that Sharon is gone you call Amelia to tell her that Sharon got the job and that she wants to cook for you tonight. It doesn't surprise Amelia and she is very happy to hear this. Sharon has also brought some bread and roasts it in the oven and while eating you must admit that is has been a long time since you've eaten so delicious.

"This is really good." you say.

"Thank you, I made alot so you also have some for tommorow evening."

When you say goodbye you write down her phone number and promise to call her when you give birth and need her. That evening you skype with Tom and tell him of your meeting with Sharon and that everything went well and that she didn't even mentioned him or asked about him. 

"See? I told you so? There is nothing to worrie about. She's not out to seduce me, and besides, she's a kid." 

"I know."

You tell him that she helped you when you had pain in your groin and when you tell him that Amelia has confessed that he was with them that night he looks at you apologetic and you smile. 

"It's okay, Tom, I think it's very sweet of you and I get it too. Somehow I find it nice that I am being looked after, it's comforting and Anna is such a sweetheart, such a lovable girl."

"You still don't care what it is? Boy or girl?" he asks.

"No, Tom, I really don't, as long as it's healthy and has blue eyes and blonde curls." you say and Tom laughs.

"Well, I still want a girl who is just as beautiful as her mother."

"How is filming going?" 

"Well, the first few days it was difficult to concentrate because I often thought of you, but the last days are getting better. Rodney helps me a lot with my accent and playing guitar, he gave me a Gibson J45 to use, a beautiful guitar."

"Are you also at his house now?" 

"Yes, he has also picked me up from the airport, I even have my own room," Tom turns the laptop into a circle and you see that it's pretty big, "and this is the guitar." 

He holds a gorgeous guitar up and you immediately notices how Tom handles it and that he already is very attached to it. 

"You want to play for me?" you ask. 

"I have not had much..." 

"Please."

Tom smiles and strokes gently over the strings, he slowly begins to play. While playing you notice that he presses his lips together and sometimes you see the tip of his tongue, which means that he is concentrating very hard. You enjoy his play and smile when he stops and just when you want to say something you hear applause. Tom looks over his shoulder and laughs when you see an older man appear who must be Rodney and he looks at you.

"He's a natural." he says. 

"Oh, well, I have a good teacher." Tom says, and to your surprise you hear shyness in his voice. 

"No, he's right, it sounded really nice, honey, and the baby stopped kicking so it must have liked it too." you say. 

"Thank you." 

"This must be the famous y/n," Rodney says, and he sits on his haunches, "hi, I'm Rodney Crowell." 

"I thought so, nice to meet you, Mr. Crowell." 

"Please call me Rodney, Mr. Crowell was my old man," he laughs, "how are you?" 

"I'm okay," you say rubbing your belly, "any time now."

"I know, Tom was so nervous the first few days but fortunately we managed to thaw him, every day I'm present during the filming and have Tom's phone with me. So when you call him, I see that and I will directly warn Tom so he can come to you." 

"Thank you, Rodney, I really appreciate that." 

"Do not mention it, to see your first child come into the world is magical, Tom must be there."

Rodney then says goodbye so you have some time with Tom alone. 

"Show me." he says suddenly. 

"Show you what?" 

"Your belly, show me." 

You laugh and push your shirt up and the waistband of your pants down and let your hands slide over your belly. 

"God, I wish I could touch it." 

"Me too." 

"I wish I could touch all of you, I miss you so terribly, darling." 

"I miss you too."

Suddenly you are overwhelmed by a wave of emotions and begin to cry and you hide your head in your hands. Tom instantly sits on his heels in front of the laptop, grasp the sides and says your name a few times. 

"Please, look at me." 

Slowly you look up at him and you see the dismay in his eyes, the dismay that he is not with you to comfort you and hold you and those thoughts only make you cry harder causing Oakley to sit next to you on the couch and laying his head in your lap.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry...." 

You smile through your tears and shake your head. 

"Why are you apologizing?" 

"I don't know, I just.....I feel so bloody useless, so far away from you, not even being able to comfort you.....sometimes I wish that I could just leave, that I could pack my bags and take the jet to you." he says. 

"I have Oakley, and Amelia and Sharon and Emma and Diana and James, lot's of people who take good care of me and check in on me frequently."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that." 

"And you can't leave, Tom, you have an obligation towards Marc, towards the rest of the cast."

"I know."

"Do not worry about me, it's just hormones." 

"I know."

You take a deep breath and when you have calmed down you smile.

"And talking about your mom and dad, they are getting closer every day."

"Really?"

"Yeah, they look happy although they still deny being back together."

"Maybe they are just afraid to admit that to each other and others."

"Sounds familiar." you say and Tom smiles.

"Yeah it does, doesn't it?"

"You think we should intervene?"

"No, let's just let them do this in their own pace." 

"Okay." you say and suddenly start to yawn.

"Go to sleep, darling, get some rest." 

"Okay." 

"I love you." 

"I love you too honey." 

You blow him a kiss and disconnect before you go to sleep.

 

The next few days Emma and Diana regularly visit you to see how you are doing, and when one afternoon Amelia and Anna are with you, you again get cramps in your groin. You apply the technique which Sharon also used and where normally it always helps is does nothing now, you frown your eyebrows and Amelia looks at you. 

"Are you okay?" 

"Yes, only the cramps do not go away," you say, "normally oh ...."

You go sitting on the edge of the couch and your hands slide over your belly. You blow some air out through your lips and just when you think that the pain goes away, it comes back full force. Amelia goes sitting on the spot next to you and rubs your back while you close your eyes, groaning. 

"Oh, this hurts, this is different from the previous times." 

"These are contractions." Amelia says. 

"What?" you breathe. 

"These are contractions." Amelia repeats. 

"Oh god..." you say and lay your head in your neck.

"Just relax, Anna," she says, and the girl looks at her mother while she continues to rub your back, "go home and wait for me there." 

The girl immediately runs out of the house and Amelia grabs your hand with her free one when another contraction hits you. 

"Breathe in and out, easy." 

"Tom ..." you say. 

"I'll call Tom for you." Amelia promises. 

She gets up to pick up the phone but at that time a next contraction comes and you squeeze her hand tightly which makes her turn to you again. 

"Okay, it's okay, try not to stop it, sweetheart, let it wash over you."

With every contraction you feel a sharp pain in your groin and when you feel wetness you know your waters have broken. Amelia reaches out her hand to the phone but you stop her. 

"My mobile, you have to call him with my mobile phone, he will see my name...." 

Amelia nods and grabs your mobile, calls Tom and immediately someone picks up. 

"Tom? This is Amelia, you have to come home, yeah, the waters have broken, stay calm, but you have to get here now, I'll make sure y/n get's to the hospital, just get here." 

Amelia disconnects when there is another contraction again and you close your eyes and puff out labored breaths. 

"Tom is on his way, I need to call the hospital." 

"Call the Portland Hospital in Westminster, Tom want's me to go there and then call Emma." 

"Emma?" 

"Tom's sister, I need her, please." 

"Okay, I'll call her."

Amelia first calls the hospital and then Emma to let her know that labor has started and hangs up just when the ambulance arrives. The paramedics help you on the stretcher and Amelia leans towards you to wipe your forehead where now the sweat rises from the exertion. 

"It's okay, you're in good hands." she says. 

"No, do not leave me, please don't leave me alone," you say, and clamp her hand, "just until Emma is with me, please." 

"Okay, it's okay, I'll stay with you."

Amelia gets in the ambulance and calls Jocelyn to ask if she wants to take care of Anna. In the ambulance you have two more contractions but the paramedics advise you not to push and even though it is hard, you do what they say. When you come into the hospital and are pushed out of the ambulance, you immediately see Emma who comes running to you and grabs your hand.

"Hey, I'm here." 

"Emma," you say out of breath,"God I'm so happy that you're here." 

With relief you start to cry while the paramedics bring you into the room and Emma and Amelia follow you. When you are installed you look to Amelia. 

"Thank you for staying with me." 

"Yes of course, that speaks for itself." she says. 

Then you notice that the contractions suddenly are gone and you want to say something when the gynecologist comes walking in. 

"Y/N, it is time." 

"Yes, but the contractions have stopped." you say, and you hear a slight panic in your voice. 

"That's normal." 

"She's right,"Emma says,"my birth of Jason took three days and on the second day I had almost no contractions." 

"I also had that when I gave birth to Anna." 

"Oh Anna," you say and look at her, "you have to go back home." 

"Yes I do, and I will take Oakley with me too, I'm sure Ethan wouldn't mind and it gives Jesse some one to play with."

"Your the best, Amelia."

"Good luck and call me when the little one is born." 

"I will."

When Amelia is gone the gynecologist attaches two straps around your belly, the same straps that were used when you were in the hospital the last time and immediately you hear the baby's heartbeat in the room. This time there is also a hardcopy printed out of the heartbeat of you and the baby every few minutes. 

"I need to look at how much dilatation you have." 

"Okay."

The gynecologist spreads your legs and you feel her fingers at your vagina and when she comes up you look at her. 

"Just three centimeters." 

"What does that mean?" 

"That there is still time but every birth is different, like Emma said, it can take three days but it can suddenly go very fast. Did you call Tom?" 

"Yes, I hope he is on the plane by now." 

"Why don't you call him?" Emma asks. 

"Can I?" you ask and look at the gynecologist.

"Of course, I'm sure he will be happy to hear from you, you can use that phone over there." she says, pointing to a phone on the table next to you.

"Okay."


	77. chapter 73

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before you start reading, I would like to say something, what happened yesterday evening in Paris was a hideous, terrible crime not only against the Parisians but against anyone in the world, whether you're living in France, the Netherlands, Germany or England or in America. Please take a moment to remember the victims of this heinous act against humanity. 
> 
> https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10206063458198516&set=a.4106665818002.162831.1023724276&type=3

You pick up the phone and punch in Tom's number and it quickly gets picked up. 

"Hello?" 

"Tom? It's me." 

"Y/N? Please tell me that the baby isn't yet born." he asks. 

"What? No, no it's not yet born, that would be very fast." 

"Thank God." 

"I'm in the hospital with a device attached to my stomach to check my heart rate and the baby's and Emma is with me." 

"You sound remarkably calm." Tom notes. 

"Yeah, that's because the contractions have stopped." 

"What? Is that normal?" he asks and you hear the concern in his voice.

"Yeah, that happens sometimes, Emma has had it too, it's nothing to worry about." 

"Thank God, it's good to hear your voice." 

"Yes, it's good to hear you too. Where are you?" 

"In the jet, we ascended about half an hour ago." 

"Thirteen and a half hours still to go then." 

"Yes, at least." 

"I don't want to disturb you but," the gynecologist stands next to your bed and gestures to the phone and you give it,"Tom? Hi this is the gynecologist, you have a laptop available to you? Yes? Lovely, boot it up and see if you have Skype." 

You and Emma exchange a look with each other and your heart leaps when you hear that there is indeed Skype on his laptop. The gynecologist gives you back the phone and smiles.

"I'll be right back." she says. 

"Is she really going to do what I think she is going to do?" Tom asks. 

"I think so." 

"God it would be so wonderful to see you, darling." 

"I know, that would be fantastic." 

Not much later, the gynecologist is back again and she does have a laptop with her, all booted up and with Skype and she places it on the table next to you. 

"I see your number." you say excitedly. 

Before Tom can say that you should call him you click on the number, and a second later Tom's face appears on screen. You are so happy to see him that you start crying.

"Oh darling" Tom says, and leans to the screen,"you're so beautiful." 

"No I'm not, I'm sweating and my hair is sticking to my forehead..." 

"And still a vision of beauty." 

You smile through your tears and slide your fingers across his face on the screen. Then his eyes look at something behind you and you look behind you and see Emma sitting. 

"Hey, sis." 

"Hey, bro."

"Thank you for being with y/n, for helping her."

"Don't mention it, say y/n" she says, leaning her elbows on the bed,"Tom is now more or less with you, you still want me to stay?" 

"Yes of course I want you to stay, Tom can now talk to me and steer me through the contractions but I need a hand I can squash." 

"Okay, then my hands are at your disposal."

She smiles at you and reaches you her hands that you take thankful, at that moment you feel pressure in your abdomen and you squeeze your eyes closed. 

"Oh god ..." your breath. 

"What is happening?" Tom asks. 

"There's a contraction coming." you say. 

"I see it on the monitor, okay Tom, talk to your wife, keep her calm," the gynecologist says, and then she looks at you,"and do not push okay?" 

You nod your head and grab Emma's hand firmly and the other you fist in the sheet. While Tom starts talking encouragingly to you, you concentrate on his voice and you lay your head back.

"Breathe in gently, darling, in and out, relax and let it wash over you, you're doing great, I'm so proud of you, just remember, do not push." 

"Easy for you to say, fuck, it fucking hurt, jezus christ ..." 

Tom is taken aback by your language and stops talking. 

"Keep talking to her, Tom, it's the hormones, do not take it personally, her stress level is rising." 

Tom nods and begins to talk again and the gynecologist sees your stress level going down at the sound of his voice and she nods with satisfaction. 

"It has almost passed, y/n."

When the contraction is finally over you take a deep breath and you turn your head to look at Tom, he smiles at you and you smile back at him laboriously. 

"Thank you." you say. 

"For what? You're doing all the work." 

"Yes, but without you support...." your voice trails off and you feel tears welling up in your eyes again,"why do I cry so much?" 

"That's normal, your body produces all kinds of hormones." 

"You should have seen me during Jason's birth, I was a complete mess." Emma says.

The gynecologist says that she wants to take another look at how much dilation you have and it turns out that it is still three centimeters. 

"How do you feel?" 

"Okay, I guess."

"It may be a while before there will be a next contraction, you feel up for a bath? To wash off the sweat and relax a bit." 

"Oh that would be delightful." you sigh wistfully. 

"Okay. Emma, would you do that?" 

"Of course." 

Emma disappears into the bathroom while the gynecologist leaves you and Tom alone and you look to Tom when he says your name.

"I'm proud of you." he says. 

"Thank you, but I have not done anything yet." 

"Are you kidding? That contraction looked very painful, and the way you handled it, so brave." 

"Thanks to you, your voice calms me down." 

You smile and when Emma walks into the room again, you look up. 

"Your bath is ready." 

"Okay, help me up." 

Emma takes your arm and helps you out of bed and to the bathroom, you're surprised when you see how big it is and you look up when Emma turns around. 

"Where are you going?" 

"Getting the laptop." 

"Oh okay." 

"And then you can undress yourself right away and get into the bath, just let me know when your in."

In the bath you keep your bra and slip on and you spread your legs so that you can lean a little forward and lay your hands upon your belly while Emma moves a soft sponge over your back, squeezing warm water out of it. In the bath you get two contractions and Emma holds your hand and Tom does what a man should do in this situation, keeping you calm and whispering consoling and encouraging words that help you through it. When the water is cold Emma brings back the laptop and slowly you come out of the tub and pull on your gown. You open the door and Emma instantly stands next to you to help you and when you lie in bed you look at her.

"Thank you, really .... I am so grateful that you are here to help me." 

"I consider it an honor that you want me here, really." Emma says. 

"And you," you say and look at Tom, "how long until you're with me where you should be right now?" 

"Er..."Tom looks aside and then back to you,"ten hours." 

"God that long?" you say and let your head fall on the pillow. 

"I'm sorry darling, the pilot goes as fast as he can." 

"I know,...." you sigh deeply and look at him,",....this is great, with the laptop and all and like I said I'm gratefull I have Emma's hand to squash but I want yours, I want you here with me, bodily present, I need you Tom."

"I know and I want to be there for you, more then anything."

"I know." 

You smile and you stroke with your fingers over his cheek on the screen. Suddenly, Tom's phone rings, startling him and you too and Tom turns himself to pick up. 

"Hello? Oh, Rodney. Yes, it's going okay, I have y/n on Skype so I'm sort of with her a little bit to help and support her." 

You sigh and close your eyes for a moment while you hear Tom talk on the background with Rodney. 

"Y/N?" you hear and look at Emma,"why do not you try to sleep a little?" 

"Good idea, I'm so tired all of a sudden."

"That's normal, when the real contractions start and you may start pushing, you need all the strength that you can find and then some." 

You moan and squeeze your eyes shut. 

"How are you holding up, darling?" 

You look aside and see Tom looking at you, now off the phone.

"Okay, I guess." 

Than the gynecologist comes in and just when she wants to say something you feel a contraction coming and clamp Emma's hand firmly in yours while Tom again talks encouragingly to you. The contractions continue to hold on for the next couple of hours, they become longer and are also more painful and if Tom wouldn't have kept repeating that you should not push you would have. When you are trying to catch your breath from the last intense hours Emma dabs some sweat from your forehead and the gynecologist sits at the foot of the bed.

"I want to know how much dilation you have." 

You nod and barely feel it when the gynecologist does the measurement. 

"Five centimeters, you're halfway,"she say and then looks at Tom,"how long before you're here?" 

"Still seven hours." he says. 

The gynecologist sighs and because you are still recovering you miss the look between the gynecologist and Emma. 

"Tell the pilot to step on it." 

Before Tom can say anything she walks away and when you roll your head to the side and look at Tom you smile weary at him.

"You're tired." he says. 

"Yes a bit." 

"Then try to go to sleep."

"The idea is very appealing." 

"Then close your eyes," Tom says and waits until your eyes are closed,"and dream of our child, our little miracle." 

You smile before you close your eyes and fall asleep and Emma and Tom look at each other. 

"And how are you holding up?" Tom asks his sister. 

"I'm fine, really." 

"Yes?" 

"Yes." 

"I can not tell you how grateful I am that you're with her now I can't."

Emma smiles and brushes her thumb over your hand, making your grip strengthen on her hand. 

"You just make sure that you are here when it matters." 

"I hope I'm on time." 

"Of course you are." 

"I still have at least seven hours of flying ahead of me and then it takes me at least 45 minutes before I'm in the hospital." 

"Where are you landing?"

"London City, it's the closest."

"You better make sure you are on time, Tom, when y/n can start pushing the pain she felt from the earlier contractions will seem like a walk in the park." 

"Really?"

"Yes, really, trust me I know, I've been there twice."

"I don't know if I can stand to see her in that much pain."

"Listen Tom, I am more then happy to help her during the birth if need be, but the only one she is really going to need and want with her is you. I don't care what you have to do, just make sure that you're here." 

"I will do everything." 

Emma nods and looks at you, she pushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear and then looks at Tom.

"I was thinking to get some candles and lighting them, maybe burn some lavender, to make it more comfortable for her. Do you think she would appreciate that?" 

"Yes, I'm sure she will." Tom replies. 

"Okay, if she wakes up when I'm gone, tell her I'll be back soon." 

"Okay." 

Emma carefully loosens her hand from yours and you mutter softly in your sleep. Your hands go to your stomach and you caress it before your breathing evens out again and Emma stands up to walk away. 

 

When you wake up you notice right away that it is dim in the room and for a moment you think it is evening, but then you see that there are candles lit and you smell a delicious lavender scent. You sit up slightly and look around the room.

"Welcome back." 

You turn your head to the voice of your lover and he smiles at you. 

"What is this?" you ask. 

"Emma's idea." he says. 

"I wanted to make it bit more enjoyable for you, giving this place a more homey touch." 

"Thank you. How long have I been asleep?" 

"Two hours." 

"That long?" 

"Yes, you've had no contractions at that time, of course, but that's logical. I also called Dean, mom and dad and I must wish you success from them." 

"How is he doing alone with the kids?" 

"He's fine, he can handle them. Mom is very excited by the way, she wanted to come here but I said that she can do little and that we will call her when the baby is born."

You Emma and Tom talk a bit with each other, time passes and the contractions come and go, you also manage to get some more sleep inbetween and after having two more contractions you notice that your a little hungry. Emma offers to get you something to eat and when she gets back another contraction comes. The gynecologist is also with you, and after your contraction she says you now have seven centimeters dilation.

"I'm going to land soon." Tom says suddenly. 

"Really?" 

"Yes, the seat belt must be fastened." 

"And?" you say, suspecting that there is more. 

"I have to disconnect." 

"What? No, Tom, please ... you can not leave me...." you almost beg. 

Tom wants to say something, but at that time the device starts to beep harder and faster. 

"Y/N, your heartrate is rising, that can be dangerous for you and the baby, you must try to calm down." 

"Yes, I know that,"you say and pinch your nose with your thumb and forefinger while closing your eyes,"I'm sorry, I ..." 

"Tom, talk to your wife, get her to calm down."

"Darling, look at me," Tom says, and you look at him,"it's okay, breathe in deeply and out again, calm down, listen to my voice; deep breaths, in and out. Breath with me."

You breath a couple of times together with Tom untill your heartrate is under controll again.

"I promise I'll call you as soon as I have landed, okay?" 

"Okay." you say with a small voice. 

"I love you." 

"I love you too."

You lay your hand on the screen and Tom does the same thing and then it goes black and you feel tears welling up in your eyes. You stare at the screen, to the number of Tom and the word 'offline' behind it and when Emma softly squeezes your hand, you look at her. 

"It's okay, he will now be here soon." she says, and you nod.

You clamp Emma's hand firmly in yours and try to stay calm during the next contraction but it doesn't work, you're missing Tom, you miss his soothing voice that speaks to you and you can't concentrate. The machine begins to beep again and the gynecologist looks troubled at you.

"Relax, y/n, think of your child." 

"I'm trying,...."

"Try harder." she says.

"I can't...." you gasp. 

Your breathing becomes irregular and you are on the verge of hyperventilating. The gynecologist comes standing beside your bed and grabs your other hand. 

"I know you need to hear his voice but please, you really have to calm down, if you don't the baby will feel your stress and will become stressed too and I need to perform an emergency cesarean section and you don't want that do you." she says.

"No...."

When suddenly the phone rings, the gynecologist immediately picks up and puts it on speaker.

"Darling?" 

"Tom..." you say, and Tom can hear the panic in your voice. 

"Talk to her, Tom, it's going wrong." 

"Darling, calm down, breathe in and out, listen to my voice, do not push, just breathe easy. In deep and out slowly." 

You close your eyes and listen attentively to his voice, it does not misses it's effect and you feel yourself calming down, the beeps are also getting softer until it stops. The gynecologist nods and lets go of your hand to walk to the device.

"It's almost over." she says. 

You breathe a couple of times with Tom and eventually the pain fades away and gasping you let yourself fall against the backrest. When you hear commotion on the phone you frown your eyebrows. 

"Tom?" 

"There's a car waiting for me with a police escort." 

"What?" 

You look at Emma and when you see that she smiles you know enough.

"You did this." 

"I've only asked the gynecologist if she could arrange something." 

Your eyes go to the gynecologist and she walks towards you. 

"I have called the director and told him Tom Hiddleston's wife is giving birth to their first child and what the situation is. I've done that mostly because I think that the father should be here, not only to experience the miracle of birth but also to support you." 

"I'm in the car, gosh, two police motorcycles and a police car before my car with flashing lights. They say I'll be with you in fifteen minutes." 

"Really?" 

"Yes."

"You better, she has nine centimeters dilation so if she gains one more she can start pushing."

"Oh God, just hurry up Tom, I need you here."

"I know, we're going as fast as we can, everybody is making room for us."

"When you get here take the stairs to the fourth floor, room 455 at the end of the hallway."

"Thank you, really." he says.

"Tom ..." you moan because you feel a contraction and when the gynecologist looks at the monitor with one eye she sees that it is an intense one. 

"Brace yourself, this is an intense one." 

"Tom!" 

"I'm here, I'm at the hospital, a few more minutes and I'm with you, darling." 

The contraction slowly pulls through your body and when the gynecologist looks at how much dilation you have she looks at you. 

"Ten centimeters, when you have your next contraction you can start pushing." 

"God ...." you say desperate,"I don't wan't to do this without Tom."

"I know, sweetheart, but you must, the baby wants to come out, if you're not going to push you will cause stress and that just makes it harder for you and the baby." Emma says. 

You know that Emma's right, you have no choice but you need Tom, he needs to be with you and out of despair you realize your close to tears, also the device starts beeping again and Emma attracts your attention and let's you know you have to breathe calmly, you do what she says and gradually the beeps disappear and your heart rate goes back down. 

"There's a contraction coming, y/n, listen to me, you have to push." 

"I can't..."

"I know you need Tom but your baby needs you too, you have to push when I say it."

"Tom!" you call. 

"I'm in the stairwell, hang on, I'm on the second floor," he says, and you hear he is breathless from running,"just do what she says, darling!"

"Pull your legs up and push when I say it." the gynecologist says and sits down at the foot of the bed.

"Okay." you say with a small voice.

Just when you want to push the door flies open and Tom is suddenly in the room. 

"Jesus, Tom." Emma says. 

She gets ready to get up but you clench her hand firmly in yours. 

"Stay." you say. 

"But Tom is here now ..." 

"I want you to stay, please." 

"Okay." 

Emma sits down again and then you suddenly feel a finger under your chin and look into Tom's eyes. 

"I'm so sorry, darling." 

"Good, you should." you say.

You look at the gynecologist and even though you do not see it you can imagine the hurtful look in his eyes but before Tom can say anything, the gynecologist indicates that you have to push. You feel how Tom grabs your hand and you cling to him and his sister while you start to push as hard as you can. You shout and gasp, moan and scream, the pain is beyond words and you squeeze your eyes shut and your lips together.

When the contraction is over you gasp for breath and fall back into the pillows behind you.

"Where were you? I needed you." you say to Tom. 

"I know but I'm here now, I'm here for you."

Before you can say anything you feel the next contraction, you push with all your might. The pressure on your groin is getting harder and it also becomes more difficult to endure the pain. 

"Tom .." 

"I'm here." 

"Talk to me, please, I need to hear your voice." 

Tom starts talking encouragingly to you and it gives you enough strength to push hard again. 

"You're doing great, y/n, I can see the head already," the gynecologist says, "one more time and it will be here." 

"It hurts." you groan. 

"I know, darling, but you are doing so good, you're so strong, so brave and I am so proud of you." Tom whispers in your ear. 

"Just one big push and you can hold your baby in your arms, y/n."

"You hear that? You can do this, y/n, one more time."

You nod and clamp Tom's hand tightly in yours and you push harder than all previous times and you scream when the pain doubles. Tom notices it immediately and pushes his nose into your neck while he whispers sweet nothings in your ear. You let his voice wash over you and find solace in it and the strenght to push hard one last time. Suddenly the pressure is gone and you feel an emptiness and immediately after you hear cries of a baby and a little naked screaming little baby is placed on your stomach.

"Congratulations, it's a girl." the gynecologist says. 

"A girl?" you ask. 

"Yes, you are the proud parents of a baby daughter." 

You laugh and cry at the same time, just like Tom and he kisses your cheek while you put your hand on the back of the small child. 

"You were so amazing, I never could have done it." he says proudly and places his hand atop of yours on the small back of your baby. 

"Daddy, would you do the honor?" the gynecologist asks.

Tom looks up to see the gynecologist standing with scissors in her hands. Tom takes the scissors and carefully cuts off the umbilical cord that connects you and your daughter and then he comes standing next to you again and laces his fingers with yours on the back of your daughter, however, it is of short duration.

"I have to take her away for a moment." 

"What why?" you ask, panicked. 

"That's standard," Emma says,"to do some tests and to weigh and measure her." 

"That's right, I'll bring her back as soon as possible," she says and picks up the baby gently,"you already have a name?" 

"Yes, Lucy Patricia Hiddleston." 

"Beautiful name," the gynecologist says and looks at the baby in her arms,"welcome to the world, Lucy, I have to take you with me, but you can quickly return to your mom and dad, I promise." 

The gynecologist disappears with your child and you follow her until she is out of sight.


	78. chapter 74

"I will leave you alone for a moment." Emma says.

She gets up and you take her hand in yours.

"Thank you, for everything you have done today." you say and Tom nods.

"You're welcome, I can drop by your house to pick up the maxi cosi so that you can safely transport Lucy in the car and I'll call Mom and Dad, they will want to come over to admire their first granddaughter."

"They are more than welcome." you say.

Emma nods and leans towards you.

"You were really fantastic." she says before walking away.

"Emma,"Tom calls and she turns around to face her brother,"will you take the baby bodysuit with you when you come back? The one you gave us."

"You want the first thing she wears to be the bodysuit I gave?" Emma asks.

"Yes, you've been such a good help today when I couldn't."

Emma nods and when the door closes behind her Tom sits on the edge of the bed and takes your hands between his to press a kiss there.

"She's right, you was really fantastic."

"How do you know? I've been lying here for 18 goddamn hours, suffering and in pain and you have only been here for the last four of them," you say and avoid his eyes,"I am very gratefull Emma was here to help me but I needed _you_ , Tom, I wanted _you_."

"I know and I have therefore made a decision."

Slowly you look at him and wait for what he will say.

"The next time you're pregnant and I get offered a role that takes me away from you for more then four hours of flying, I want in writing that they let me go a week before your due date."

"And if they refuse?"

"If they refuse then they can find someone else."

"You would give up a role for me?"

"I'd give anything up for you in a heartbeat, darling, you should now that by now."

"Tom, I can't ask that of you."

"You don't have to ask. It's my decision and I stand by that. I want to be the one who's there when you're going into labor, I want to be there to calm you down, I want to be the one that drives you to the hospital, I want to be there to hold your hand and to support you from the beginning untill the end. The fear I felt on the plane on the way here that I was going to be to late.... I never want go through that ever again."

You notice by the tone of his voice that he is serious and you feel tears in your eyes by his words. He lays a hand against your cheek and you lean against the touch.

"Come here."

Tom slowly draws you over to him and you nestle yourself in his arms, head on his shoulder.

"You are my wife, my soulmate, my everything, vous soyez ma seule et unique amour vrai and you and Lucy stand above my career and everyone else." he whispers in your ear while his fingers weave through your hair.

After the embrace you look at him and without hesitation he pulls you towards him to kiss you, the kiss quickly becomes intense and passionate and when he bites your lower lip you open your mouth to let in his tongue. Just when he turns your head to deepen the kiss, the door opens.

"Here we are again, oh I'm sorry, I did not mean to disturb you, but this little girl wants to return to her mom and dad."

You smile and sit up and once the gynecologist lays Lucy in your arms, dressed in just a diaper, she looks up at you with big blue eyes.

"How is she?" you ask.

"As healthy as can be, 4000 grams and 50 centimeters."

"She has your nose and lips." Tom says.

"And your eyes and curls, thank goodness."

Tom chuckles and kisses your cheek.

"My guess is that the eyes remain blue with her."

"Really?" you ask hopefully.

"Yes, most babies have blue eyes but as bright as those of Lucy, I see seldom."

"I see them every day." you say and look at Tom.

"Shall we try whether she wants to be breastfed?"

"Right now?"

"Right after birth, the baby has a very strong sucking reflex. And breastfeeding and skin-to-skin contact also encourages milk production because certain hormones will be created inside you."

It takes some effort but eventually you know to uncover a breast and when the gynecologist touches Lucy's cheek, she turns her head in the direction of the touch and opens up her little mouth and she makes sucking movements with little smacking sounds, and immediately she sucks your nipple inside and you smile when she lays her little hand on your breast and contently closes her eyes and you feel tears in your eyes.

"Everything okay?" asks the gynecologist.

"Yeah, just .... all this, that this amazing beautiful perfect little girl came out of my body and now gets food through me, incredible."

"It is incredible, no matter how many times I see it, it remains a miracle. When she had enough she will stop by herself. In the room next to this one is a room for her with a cradle, bath and changing table. If you need me then please call."

When the gynecologist is gone Tom asks you to slide aside a little and he sits down next to you, you lay your free hand on her stomach and Tom gently takes a little hand between forefinger and thumb, free arm placed around your waist.

"How long do you have?" you ask.

"A week."

"Just a week?" you say disappointed.

"I know, not nearly enough."

"No, not nearly, and then you will be gone for at least seven weeks." you say.

"Well, I have heard from a highly reliable source that I'm nominated for best actor at the Evening Standard Awards for my role of Caius Martius Coriolanus, the awards are handed on november 30th. It's in the weekend so Marc agreed to let me fly back here to attend. Meaning I will be back around november 28 but I do have to go back however the day after untill december 18th, when it will be wrapped up."

"You want me to go with you?"

"Of course I do, I will always want you by my side."

"If I can find a babysitter for Lucy and someone to watch Oakley, I will gladly accompany you."

"And I got a call from Josh if I could keep myself available for the last two weeks of January, he might need me to film some scenes for Age of Utron."

"The Avengers movie? I didn't know you were in that."

"Me neither but I understood that Chris, Jeremy, Scarlett, Robert, Chris Evans and Mark have been asked the same."

"They will be filmed in London?"

"Yes, at Pinewood Studios, meaning I will come home every evening to you and Lucy."

"God that sounds so good."

"I know,"he says and kisses your head,"how about I take you and Lucy away after I saw the Light is done."

"Away?"

"Yeah, it has been a couple of difficult and hard months for you."

"Actually, that sounds pretty good. But Lucy will be only ten weeks so we probably shouldn't go very far. Where do you want to go?"

"Don't really care as long as it is away from England, somewhere where we can be together as a family, where it's just Lucy you and me."

"May I make a suggestion?"

"Of course."

"What about Rome? You said yourself that you found Rome one of the most beautiful city's where you have ever been and you promised to take me there."

"That is true, okay, Rome it is, then. We can leave right after I come back from wrapping up I saw the Light."

"Leaves us a couple of days then."

"Well, actually I wanted to go away a little longer."

"You don't want to be with your family for Christmas and New Years Eve?" you say, looking at him in surprise.

"It will be strange not to see Emma and mom and dad with Christmas and New Years Eve but the only ones I need to be happy anyway are my two girls."

"Your two girls," you say, smiling but then you suddenly remember something,"oh, your mother will not be happy when she hears that Lucy will not be home with her first Christmas and New Years Eve."

"I know, but I also know that mom will spoil her too much with gifts and will want to make it unforgettable and Lucy will not even remember it herself when she is older. Next year she is 15 months, which is early enough."

"I agree with you."

"Is it okay if we come back somewhere at the beginning of next year? Chris' new film, Blackhat premieres on january 8 in Hollywood. He wants me to be there and since Elsa is going with him she would love it if you would be there too."

"What about Lucy?" you ask.

"Well, we can stop in London and bring her to mom if she wants."

"What about breastfeeding?"

"I remember that Emma used to have these bottles of breastmilk for the boys when we would have a family day."

"I will have to ask her about that."

When Lucy is done with drinking you cover yourself and look at her when you notice something.

"Is her hair orange?"

"What?"

"When the light falls on it from a certain angle, it looks orange."

"That's ginger, darling, was my color too when I was a kid."

"It was?"

"Yeah, you didn't know that?"

"No."

When someone knocks on the door you smile when you see Diana and James coming in.

"Hey, we heard that we have a new addition in the family." Diana says.

"Yes, come meet your granddaughter, Lucy Patricia Hiddleston." you say.

Diana and James come closer but Diana suddenly stands still.

"Wait," she says and pulls a camera out,"first I want to take a picture of this beautiful family together."

You and Tom smile into the camera and when the picture has been taken they walk to the bed and watch the little one.

"She's beautiful, really perfect, it had to be with such parents." Diana says.

"Thank you." you say.

"You want to hold her?" you ask.

"You have to ask?"

You smile and Diana leans over Tom to take over her granddaugther and he watches like a hawk how his little girl is being handed to his mother.

"Watch her neck, mom," he says,"you need to support it and the lower back."

"I know how to hold a baby, Tom, I've had three of them."

"I know but...well...just be careful."

"Lucy isn't even a day old and he's already the protecting dad." James smiles.

You take Tom's hand and entwine your fingers together while you watch how Diana and James pamper and cuddle Lucy. Diana and James also have several pink balloons with them and they have bought you a beautiful photo book where each page wonderful is filled with crayon drawings of babies and toddlers and where you can paste pictures in. While you look in the book with Tom, Emma comes back in and she smiles when she sees the proud grandparents looking affectionately at their granddaughter who makes soft cooing sounds and she walks to you.

"The bodysuit and the maxi cosi, and I saw this lying in her cradle." she says while holding something up.

"The Loki hug, thank you for bringing that!" you say.

"I saw it lying her cradle so I thought to bring it."

Emma sets down the maxi cosi and walks up to Diana and James and holds up the hug and as soon as Lucy sees it she starts to coo and reaches out to the hug, grabbing it with her little fingers and hugging it tightly.

"Looks like Loki has a new member in his army." you chuckle.

"I also brought a pacifier and took the birth cards to the printing company, they only needs to know the weight and length and what you want written on it."

"Thank you, Emma."

"You're welcome."

Emma sits on the edge of the bed and looks at you.

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, a little tired."

"That makes sense, if you want us to leave you alone you just have to say the word, and I can also imagine very well that you and Tom want to be alone with Lucy. Especially now that Tom will soon have to go back to Shreveport."

You get a sad expression on your face and Tom brings you hand to his lips to press a kiss on it. At that moment, Diana and James walk towards you.

"She's asleep." Diana says.

She leans forward and gently lays Lucy in Tom's arms who looks lovingly at his daughter and you peek over his shoulder at her. She is indeed sleeping and you smile but then you suddenly yawn.

"I think we should leave this family alone." Diana says.

They say goodbye to you and Tom walks with them to the door and when it's closed and he walks towards you, you smile. He holds and looks at his daughter as if she were the most precious and cherished thing he has ever seen and probably this is true, then Tom smiles and looks at you.

"She's really perfect, we made the perfect person, y/n. You think we can do that again?"

"Let's just first wait and see how it goes with this one." you laugh.

When you yawn again Tom carefully lays Lucy in your lap and he picks up the suit body.

"Shall we dress her with this?" he proposes.

You nod and grab one of the flaps of the Loki-hug and try to get it out of her grasp but she strengthens her grip and Tom chuckles.

"Come on, Lucy, you'll get it back soon." you promise.

Lucy opens her eyes and looks at you, you nod to her and give a short cautious tug on the toy and this time she lets go. You give it to Tom and then gently pull the body suit on her before you take her in your arms and Tom gives her back the Loki hug again and she grabs it eagerly to press it firmly against her tiny body. Then the door opens and you look up and see the gynecologist come in with an extra bed.

"Normally the dad's do not stay the night but given the situation Tom is in we will gladly make an exception because babies especially become attached to the voices they hear the most in the first weeks so it is very important Tom talks to her a lot, I told the nurses that they can not disturb you, Tom must spend as much time with you and Lucy before he goes back to America again."

"Thank you." Tom says gratefully.

He steps aside so she can drive to the bed next to yours and she let the sidebar down and when it stands in his place she puts the brakes on it and looks at you both.

"It is logical that you want Lucy with you as much as possible but I have to explicitly say that when you go to sleep, she should be placed in her cradle. It happens so often that parents place their child between them and when they turn in their sleep come to lie on top of the baby and besides, it also learns her that she must sleep in her own cradle."

You and Tom nod that you understand.

"Since this is your first child and you still have to figure out how parenting exactly works, please ask if you have any questions."

"We will." you promise.

"And y/n," she says, and you look at her, "I had to cut you during labor to make things a little less painfull, the cuts weren't that deep so you sisn't need sutures but the first days it will be painful during urinating but that will subside and regarding sex, the first week is really out of the question. You could damage something which could have serious consequences. After that it's up to you."

"I have not even noticed that I was cut." you say surprised.

"We always do that during a severe contraction, so that the woman are almost completely unaware. They have it hard enough at that time."

When you are alone again Tom wastes no time in taking off his pants and shirt and he crawls into bed with you and his daughter. You laugh and carefully lay Lucy is between you, you are both lying on your side, head supporting your hand and your free hands meet on Lucy's tummy, laced together.

"What are you thinking?" you ask.

"That this is the happiest moment of my life, alongside our weddingday, of course. I can lie here forever, with you and Lucy."

"Me too," you say and you look back at the little miracle in between you, "but you will need to register her before you leave."

"I know, but I have the whole week for that."

"I think I should really go to sleep."

"You want to take her to bed together?" Tom says, and he looks at you, but when you have to suppress a yawn he smiles,"you stay here, close your eyes, I will be back soon."

Tom carefully stands up from the bed and takes Lucy in his arms to take her to the room next to you and he lays her in the cradle. Just when you almost sleep fall asleep you hear Tom singing softly and you smile and nestle yourself in the bed while Tom not only sings his daughter but also you to sleep.

A few hours later you wake up from crying and automatically you push yourself deeper into the arms around you.

"It's okay, I'll go, you stay here."

You feel him pressing a kiss on your shoulder before she steps out of bed to console Lucy. However, he is back sooner than you expected and you turn around in his arms to look at him.

"Was she okay?"

"Yes, I saw her Loki-hug was out of her reach and as soon as I gave it to her she stopped."

You chuckle and nestle yourself deeper in his embrace, Tom's fingers softly wander over your back and when they move over your spine in one long stroke you shiver. Tom chuckles above you and kisses the top of your head.

"I love you." he lovingly whispers.

You smile and look up at him.

"I love you too."

For a moment you look at each other and Tom slides a strand of hair behind your ear, then he slowly leans towards you and kisses you lovingly on your lips. You kiss him back and slide your fingers across his chest and feel his muscles tense under your touch.

"I wish so badly that I could make love to you." he sighs.

"So do I. But the gynecologist said that it is better to wait at least a week."

"I know and the worst thing is that when we are getting the green light I have to go away for seven weeks so it will at least be eight before I will."

"We still have skype." you say.

"I know but that's different."

"Yeah, it is."

"Does it hurt alot down there?"

"A little."

Tom smiles at you and you see a twinkle in his eyes and just when you want to say something he ducks under the blanket and he kisses and caresses his way down. He nestles himself between your legs and presses his tongue against your slit through the fabric of your slip. You moan softly and your hands disappear into his hair. Tom gently pushes you slip aside and lets his tongue caress your slit and ends with a gentle turn around your clit. Because you're very still very sensitive you immediately feel an electric shock through your body and when Tom notices it he smiles against your skin before his tongue licks your clit and he lets it gently turn around your clit again before he sucks it inside.

"Oh god, Tom, please, don't stop ..." you gasp.

Tom leaves your clit alone and then focuses on your outer lips, licking, kissing, caressing, trying to soften the numbing feeling. You focus on his ministrations and slowly begin to roll your hips up, strengthening your grip on his hair and you push him against you. When Tom pushes his tongue a little bit inside and then slowly goes up and ends with your clit you feel your approaching orgasm and when his fingers begin to massage the inside of your thighs you fall over the edge. Your body shakes and shivers under his ministrations and Tom continues to stimulate your clit until you become slack. Slowly he kisses his way up and ends at your neck.

"How was that to relieve the pain?"

"Oh that...that was a good way to start." you gasp.

Tom smiles and kisses your lips before he lies down next to you.

"What about you?"

"I'm fine, and besides, if I would cum on the sheets, what will the nurses say? Try to get some sleep." he says and pulls you close to him.

When you wake up the next time, you're alone and you look at the clock, it's just past three in the morning and slowly you get out of bed. You walk to Lucy's nursery and when you stand in the doorway you smile. There, sitting cross-legged on the floor next to Lucy's cradle is Tom, forehead leaning against the bars of the cradle and both arms going through it, one gently strokes her forehead and with the other he holds his daughter's tiny hand and his thumb makes circles over the back of her hand like he does so often with you. You step forward and carefully sit down beside him.

"Hey." you say.

"Hey." he says, without taking his eyes off his daughter.

"How long have you been here?"

"Awhile, I was awakened when Lucy started crying."

"God, I have not even heard her." you say guilty.

"That's okay, you've had a long tiring day yesterday, so I picked her up and started walking around the room, rocking her in my arms and singing to her softly untill she stopped. Then I laid her back in her cradle and she fell asleep right after but I just....I couldn't bring myself to leave."

"Why not?"

"Because I have five days before I have to go back to Shreveport and then I will not see you and Lucy for eight weeks, won't be able to hold her or comfort her for eight long weeks," when a fond smile appears on Tom's face you look at Lucy and you see that she looks at her father with the bright blue eyes they both share, sucking on a pacifier that says 'I love mummy'. Her free hand holds the Loki-hug tightly and her short legs trampling a bit,"I just feel like every moment spend away from her is a moment wasted."

You look at Tom's hand and his thumb that still slowly runs circles over the back of hers and when Lucy clamps her small fingers around his forefinger and starts to sway it without breaking contact with her father's eyes, you smile at the endearing moment between a father and his daughter.

"She is so beautiful, y/n, it's still so hard to believe this beautiful little girl is made out of us," he says admiringly before Lucy begins to make smacking noises,"I think she needs to be fed."

You stand up and walk towards the bed to sit down and bare a breast before Tom lays her in your arms and Lucy immediately sucks your nipple inside.

"Incredible that instinct tells her that she can get milk there."

You look up and see that Tom looks at how his daughter is drinking.

"Does it turn on you?" you ask.

"What? That my daughter is sucking your nipple? No."

"Really?"

"Really, it's very intimate to watch but not sexual. I'm going to uh..... get something." he says.

"What?"

"Surprise for you,"he says before kissing your cheek,"I'll be right back."


	79. chapter 75

You nod and when he is gone you look at your daughter, you smile and brush with your finger over her cheek making her open her eyes and look up at you with her big blue eyes and you find it amazing how much they resemble those of Tom. You then let your fingers slide over her neck and into her little curls and when you tickle her there she starts to giggle.

"You really are perfect, my little angel, and I am so grateful you have your daddy's eyes and curls."

When the door opens you smell rather then see his surpsise for you.

"Oh my God is that coffee is smell? You have coffee?"

"Yes I do."

"Oh I love you." you say.

Tom smiles while he walks into the room and sets the coffee on the table and you look at it longinly.

"Go ahead." Tom says and takes over Lucy while sitting on the edge of the bed.

You waste now time in taking the coffee and smell it extensively, you sigh longingly and when you take a sip you can't supress the small moan falling from your lips.

"God, I missed this."

"You deserve it after what you have been through."

While you eat your sandwiches Tom holds his daughter and you just enjoy looking at them. Tom looking at Lucy with so much love and adoration in his eyes you rarely see there and Lucy looking back at Tom as if she knows he is her dad. 

"Maybe we can ask Megan to publish the birth announcement in Elle." 

"That seems like a great idea," Tom agrees,"I ran into the gynaecoloog, she will come with the discharge papers. Once you've signed those we can take our girl home." 

"That sounds heavenly." you sigh.

"I know, it does. And I feel really temted to just unplug the phone and spend the whole week with just you and Lucy."

"We can put that on the birth card." you suggest.

"We could but then everybody will come when your alone with Lucy, you think you can handle that?"

"Sure, I still need to call Sharon, she can help me and we can put on the card to call first,"you say and take another gulp of the coffee,"it looks really good on you, by the way, holding a little one." 

"It feels good too," Tom says,"it feels so natural, as if she was meant to be there, so overwhelming also, just realizing that there now is this little person, this little girl who is depending on us raising her, to learn how to talk and walk and ride a bycicle, to teach her norms and values and to protect."

"And to prepare her for life, to support her in whatever she wants to achieve, to stimulate her."

When the gynecologist comes walking into the room you look up. 

"When you have signed you may go,"she says,"I do need to tell you that there are some photographers outside the door." 

"You're joking." 

"Sorry. Evidently the police escort Tom had raised a lot of attention and some observant fans have seen him sprinting over the airport and knowing you were on the verge of giving birth they new what was going on."

While signing the papers Tom sits on the edge of the bed.

"I can let a taxi come to the parking garage then you can get in there quietly." 

"That would be great." you say.

"Does the hospital have a spokesperson?" Tom suddenly asks. 

"Yes, several." 

"Maybe one of them can go outside to the press, tell them my wife has given birth to a girl and mother and child are in good health. That gives us some extra time to get away unseen." 

"Okay, I will ensure that a spokesperson is ready at the counter and when you are ready, he will distract the press."

The gynecologist nods and leaves the room so you and Tom have some time alone with Lucy. 

"It was to be expected." he says. 

"Yes I guess. Good thinking by the way, about that spokesperson." 

You carefully sit on the edge of the bed and reach for the bag of clothes that Emma has brought you. While you're dressing Tom places his daughter gently into the car seat and clicks the seatbelts and when you look around the room one more time and you conclude that you have everything you look at Tom. 

"Ready to take our little girl back home?" 

"Absolutely." he says.

He ties the balloons of James and Diana around the carrying handle and lifts it up and laces the fingers of his free hand with yours and together you walk outside and as promised there is a spokesman waiting who looks at you smiling. 

"Hello, my name is Jonathan and I am one of the spokespersons of this hospital, I understand that you want me to adress the press." 

"That's right." Tom says.

He agrees with Jonathan what he can say to the press and that they for further details have to keep an eye on the magazine Elle. He also gives you a head start of about fifteen minutes before he walks outside and lures the press a little away from the entrance, he also makes sure that they are standing with their backs to the exit of the parking garage. When you and Tom place the maxi cosi in the back the driver patiently waits untill your done and after you got in he drives away. You sneek a little peek out the backwindow and see Jonathan still talking to the press. When Lucy suddenly starts giggling you turn your head and see Tom is tickling her stomach and her arms flail around trying to stop him but failing miserably. You smile and are happy when the car stops in front of your house, Tom lifts the car seat with Lucy and with his free hand he takes yours while the taxi driver brings your luggage inside. After he said goodbye to you, you take Lucy out of the car seat and with her in your arms you carefully sit down on the couch. She fell asleep again and you gently caress her cheek with a finger. When the little girl has to yawn you struggle to keep a yawn inside yourself but Tom still notices it and sits on his knees before you.

"Tired?" 

"Yeah, I thought that after giving birth, and a good night's sleep it would be over but I'm exhausted." 

"Giving birth is quite a feat that requires the utmost of your body, you must not underestimate it, darling, it seems natural that your body needs time to recover." 

"I guess." 

"How about we put Lucy in her cradle and then crawl between the sheets ourselves?" 

"That sounds heavenly, but we still have to call the printing company to say what we want to put on the birth announcement and tell Megan that she can place it in Elle and we have to let Amelia know and I have to call Sharon..." before you can say the rest you really need to yawn.

"Come on," Tom says, and helps you up gently,"we are going to lay Lucy in her cradle, then I'll put you to bed, then I'm going to make all the calls that are needed and then I'll join you in bed." 

"Okay." 

You have no strength to contradict him and let yourself be guided up the stairs, something that takes effort but ultimately you stand in Lucy's nursery. Tom holds the blanket up and you lay Lucy down before Tom puts the blanket over her. He puts the music box on and then kisses you on the cheek. 

"One down, one to go." he says.

You smile and let yourself be guided to the bedroom, Tom helps you out of your clothes and by the time your lying in bed, you're already almost sleeping, vaguely you feel how he presses a kiss on your lips but you barely have the strength to kiss him back. When you hear the door close you push yourself into the pillow and soon you are sleeping.

 

When you wake up you see on the clock that it is already mid-afternoon and that Tom is not next to you. You get straight out of bed and run to the nursery to stop mid-step, Lucy is gone and Tom is not here either. You rush to the landing and down the stairs where you first have to catch your breath before you walk into the living room where Tom is, holding his daughter against his chest and softly singing to her, watched by Oakley.

"Tom." you say. 

He looks up and Oakley turns his head towards the sound and when he sees you he enthusiastically runs towards you but you do not pay attention to him. 

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty." he says. 

He walks towards you and wants to give you a kiss but you reach your arms for Lucy and take her from him, making her whine a little by the sudden treatment and then you look at him. 

"It is afternoon, why did you not wake me?" 

"Because you need your sleep so your body can recover." 

"But I have slept at least six hours, hours that I could have spend with you and Lucy." 

"We still have time."

You press your lips against her forehead and then you smell fresh lavender scent. 

"You gave her a bath." you say. 

"Yes, and changed her diaper." Tom says with a proud expression on his face. 

You bite your lip and feel tears in your eyes and when Tom sees it his expression of pride changes in astonishment and he comes to you.

"Oh, darling,..."his arms close around you and Lucy,"it's not that I have not tried it, honestly, but you were sleeping so deeply, even Oakley could not wake you, do not be angry, please." 

"I'm not angry, I ....." you sigh deeply and shrug, "I don't know why I have to cry." 

"Yust like your body needs time to heal itself, your hormones do too."

"I guess." you say.

"I had to congratulate you from Amelia and Ethan, I have indicated that we want to spend this week alone but that they are welcome from next week, the printing company has started printing the birth announcement and will post them today and I asked if he wants to keep one apart so Megan can pick that up tomorrow and then she makes sure it is printed in Elle as quickly as possible and Sharon will come Monday morning." 

"Monday morning? Doesn't she need to go to school?" 

"No, she hesitates between sixth form and college, she decided to wait a year to find out what exactly she wants to do, wich is good, because I want you to get plenty of rest." 

"Why?" 

"Oh darling, by the time I come back, I have not seen you for seven weeks and we have not had sex for at least eight weeks." he says and looks at you meaningfully. 

"Oh." you say understanding, while Lucy suddenly begins to whine.

"I think she does need to be fed."

You smile and turn yourself around but suddenly lose your balance and Tom grabs you tightly. 

"You okay?" 

"Yes fine." 

You sit down on the couch and start feeding Lucy and Tom walks to the kitchen and when he returns he puts a cup of coffee on the table. 

"For when you're done." he says. 

"Thank you, you are amazing." 

"I know."

You smile and look at your daughter who is drinking satisfied with you and when she is finished she quickly falls asleep again. Meanwhile Tom waits patiently until you have drunk your coffee and when you put your cup away, he situates himself so he can stretch his legs, back against the armrest and he motions you to give Lucy to him. The arm against the backrest is perfect to lay the girl in and the other arm he holds up so you can lie too. You smile and nestle yourself against him, cheek on his collarbone and hand on his chest. You feel his hand softly moving up and down over your back and together with his steady heartbeat you feel yourself falling asleep again but you try to resist as long as possible, just so you can watch your little angel sleeping satisfied on her daddy's arm. Your hand slowly moves towards her little one and softly you stroke over it, making her sigh and tighten her other fist around the Loki-hug and you smile. You know Tom saw it too when you hear him laugh in his throat but when his fingers slip under your shirt and his fingertips start to carres your bare skin you stiffen and push your head into his chest. 

"Tom..." you moan.

"Yes?" he asks.

"Please stop doing that." you murmer against his chest.

"You don't like it?"

"No, I do."

"Then why do you want me to stop?" he asks.

"Because...apparently it's not only my emotional hormones that are still on very high alert."

"What are you....oh..." he says suddenly understanding and you look up only to be met with amused blue's,"does it turn you on?"

You nod against his chest and when he licks his lips you moan softly again.

"Come here." he says.

He pulls you up to let your lips meet in a kiss that immediately is passionate and intense while his fingers slip in your hair and he turns your head to deepen the kiss and panting you break it. 

"Lay Lucy in her box, I see you in bed," you say, and kiss him again on his lips, "and don't forget the receiver of the baby monitor."

Before Tom can say anything you stand up and you're already at the stairs, you climb it as quickly as possible and on the way to the bed, undress yourself, you get into bed and the tingling of his fingers over your bare skin become increasingly stronger. So strong that your fingers wander over your body, first your breasts, you caress them and squeeze your nipples which evokes a curse to fall from your lips. You close your eyes while they continue to wander down and when you hear Tom's footsteps on the carpet you look up.

"Tom...." you say, reaching your hand out to him.

Tom pulls off his shirt in one swift motion and sets the receiver of the baby monitor on the nightstand before he crawls into bed with you and you immediately straddle him. Your lips attack his while he puts his hands on your hips, you grind your hips down sharp and rotate them over his erection and when he rolls his hips up you lean forward and let a hand slip under the elastic of his sweatpants to get his erection in your hand.

"Y/N, we can't..." 

"I know, I just...I just need to feel you and I need you to touch me, please, I need your hands on me...." you say and bite his neck. 

"Fuck." Tom moans when you grind your hips down again.

"I'm so close already." you breath.

You feel Tom's fingers move to the inside of your legs and he caresses your clit gently, you lift your hips slightly so that he has better acces while you gently move your hand up and down his shaft before your thumb slides over his tip to collect the pre-cum already there that you then use to gently rub over his frenulum. Tom's breath hitches in his throat and he lets a finger slip inside but it's still very sensitive and you make a painful noise in the back of your throat. Tom hears it and lets his finger slip out to focus on your clit again. He caresses it lightly and presses it and when he takes a nipple in his mouth you feel yourself closing in on your climax.

"Oh god." you groan.

The caresses of his tongue on your extremely sensitive nipple, and the touch of his other fingers on your clit provides a great sensation that rolls through your body and your muscles tighten which creates a jolt of pain in your pubic area but you push away the pain and concentrate on his fingers and the wonderful feeling they give you. 

In one swift movement Tom rolls you on your back and he sets his knees on either side of your hips, his lips kiss your neck and his fingers continue to stimulate your clit until suddenly his kisses move lower and he comes to your clit. He licks it gently and then sucks it inside. Your fist the bedsheets in your fingers and push your head into the pillow. Very carefully, he spreads you open to give himself more space and immediately he takes your clit between his lips, he licks and sucks until you're a lusty groaning mess beneath his touch. When your climax approaches your hands disappear in his hair and you pull his curls, making him groan against your clit and the vibrations push you over the edge. You gasp while Tom is already kissing his way up and he ends with an intense kiss on your lips.

"God, I really needed that." you gasp.

Tom lies close against you making you feel his erection, and you look at him. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I had completely forgotten about you, but what you did .... with your tongue was so ..." 

"Amazing?" 

"Yes something like that." you laugh. 

Just when you want to do something about his condition Lucy starts crying. 

"You owe me." Tom says. 

"Okay." 

"If you get dressed, I'll bring her here."

You step out of bed and pick your clothes up while Tom walks to the nursery and you dress yourself into a nightgown before getting into bed again and go sit with your back against the headboard. When Tom comes walking into the room he holds Lucy close to his chest and you smile at the sight. 

"There's the thief of my heart." you say. 

"I thought I was that?" Tom says as he sits on the edge of the bed and Lucy to you.   
"You still are but just as I am no longer the only woman in your life, you are no longer the only thief of my heart in my life." 

"Sounds fair." Tom agrees.

The rest of the week is chaotic, you have to find a rhythm between feeding Lucy, bathing her and to your surprise, you have to run the washing machine every day.  
The mornings always start with a feeding and after you and Tom bath her and dress her you lay her down in the box and make your own way to the couch to close your eyes. When Tom returns from the walk around the block with Oakley he makes breakfast for you and when he wakes you up you have breakfast together.

The quiet periods during the day you use to lie together on the couch in each other's arms, kissing and carressing, you both usually know when it's time to stop it before it gets out of hand but sometimes your hormones completely take over and you find it difficult to hold back. Another reason to hold back, however is Lucy, you don't want to do anything sexual while she is in the same room, and moreover Oakley is there too. 

The nights are the worst for you, you need to feed Lucy at least three times and every time you have just fallen asleep it's time for Lucy's next feeding. Tom get's up with you every time and every time you tell him that it's okay if he stays in bed but Tom persists and somewhere you're quite pleased that he keeps you company and while Lucy is drinking with you satisfied, Tom makes a habit of singing lullabies for her or nursery rhymes and Tom's singing combined with the rocking chair you sit in during feedings keeps Lucy sleepy so after you have put her back into her cradle she always falls asleep quickly.

After the feedings, when you have crawled between the sheets again, sometimes hands wander and lips kiss but before things get to intimate you always fall asleep. Everytime you manage to say your sorry to Tom and every time he answers that with a understanding whisper, kissing your forehead and telling you to go to sleep before he pulls you close against him.

Meanwhile the congratulations also stream in, not only from family friends and colleagues of Tom but as well from a couple of fans who are all very happy for you. They hope that you get the well-deserved rest from the media but secretly hope that soon they will be able to admire a picture of the little girl. You also get sent a copy of the birth announcement in Elle and smiling you look at it.

"It's beautiful." you say admiringly. 

"It sure is, hey y/n," Tom says, and you look at him, "how would you feel if we invite mom and dad, Emma and Dean over for dinner on my last evening here? I'd like to see them before I have to leave." 

"Yes of course, that would be very nice."

You also get problems with your stomach, a strange feeling that you can't place but after a conversation with Elsa you know it's your organs. Which of course had to make place for the baby, but now you have given birth, they slowly move back into place what is causing the pain. In addition to the fatigue and pain you aslo have trouble with your lower back and your pubic area is also still hurting sometimes.

The last two mornings that Tom is with you, you wake up greeted by the sight of the man of your dreams with the little girl on his bare chest. Head on his collarbone and his hand under her butt and the other protectively around her back. You support your head with your hand and look at the scene before you sit up straight and feed her. After the feeding you and Tom give her a bath followed by the familiar morning ritual and after breakfast the little girl lies between you and Tom on the couch when you suddenly see that Oakley looks with a tilted head to Lucy hesitanting what he should do.

"It's okay, Oakley, you can come closer." you say.

Oakley makes a soft noise in his throat and approaches very slowly and cautiously, when he is near to the couch, he sticks his nose forward to the girl but makes sure he does not touch her. Suddenly Lucy swings an arm aside, startling Oakley and he ducks his head down. When the dog's head comes up again you have laid Lucy on her side and as soon as she see the dog she stretches her hands out to him. Oakley gently leans forward and begins to lick her hand making Lucy giggling and cooing with delight.

You and Tom smile and take a relieved breath, realizing that the two seem to like each other but when suddenly the bell rings Oakley runs barking towards the door, startling Lucy and she starts to cry instantly.

"Oh, sweetheart, it's okay, it's allright." you say. 

You raise the little girl up and lay her against your shoulder while you rub your hand over her back while Tom urges Oakley to be quiet and he opens the door.


	80. chapter 76

While you walk back and forth with Lucy in your arms you look up when you hear voices approaching and you are surprised to see Ben and Sophie. 

"Sorry we drop by unannounced but I'm leaving tomorrow to shoot my new film and I wanted to see the little girl and to congratulate you of course," he says,"and to give you this."

"Is it okay?" Sophie asks. 

"Yes of course, you are more than welcome you know that." you say and take a wrapped gift from him.

You place Lucy on your arm so Ben and Sophie can see her properly while giving the gift to Tom and her bright blue eyes go to the new guests who admire her. She waves her hands back and forth and the Loki-hug flies with her. 

"Nice hug." Sophie says. 

"Thank you, been given by a fan, she always wants to have him with her, even if we take her to the bathroom to bathe her." 

"Oh how cute, Loki's youngest soldier." Ben laughs. 

"Guys, seriously?" Tom asks and holds up the book.

When you see it you have to laugh.

"Illustrated stories from Shakespeare?" you ask.

"You can't start early enough with the great William Shakespreare." Ben says.

"Your going to read that for her, I will just mess things up." you laugh.

"It contains the stories of six of Shakespeare’s best-loved plays, beautifully retold and illustrated. Each story is introduced with a summary and pictures of the characters."

Lucy suddenly flexes her arms towards Sophie who looks at the little girl like she's already in love with her and you smile. 

"You want to hold her?" you ask. 

"Can I?" 

"Of course."

Sophie sits down while you carefully give Lucy to Sophie and it doesn't escapes you that Tom is looking like a hawk, making sure his daughter is being handled as it should and Ben sees it too. 

"Already the protective dad, Tom?" 

"Sorry." he says apologetically. 

"That's okay." Ben says.

While Tom disappears into the kitchen you sit down and while Sophie befriends little Lucy, who is completely focused on her, Ben looks at you. 

"How are you?"

"I'm still very tired and my back and stomach hurt and the gynecologist has cut me down there so I have to take it easy but the result is worth it." you say. 

"It's a gorgeous girl," Ben says and looks at Sophie and Lucy,"she looks so much like Tom."

"Yeah, I'm really happy she has his eyes and curls."

Sophie's arm with Lucy on it is tilted slightly upwards so that the little girl is slightly closer to her face and she babbles softly to her, and Lucy makes satisfied noises in her throat.

"She likes you." you say. 

"She's only a few days old, how can she know if she likes me." Sophie says. 

"Well, for one, she's not crying and completly focussed on you."

When Tom comes back he sits down besides you and places his arm on the back so you can lean up against him and you smile when he kisses your temple. 

"What's her name?" 

"Lucy Patricia Hiddleston." 

"Beautiful name." Ben says. 

"Thank you."you say and explain to them why you picked the names Lucy and Patricia.

"I like that, names that have a real meaning." Ben says before he looks at you again,"are you getting some help when Tom has to leave?" 

"Yes, a cousin of someone from around here, she took a year off to figure out whether she wants to do sixth form or college." 

"So she is still available, say, in the middle of June?" 

"Yeah, I think so." 

It takes a while before you know what she has said but when you realize it your eyes become wide. 

"Oh, you're pregnant?" 

"Yes." 

"Oh my god, Sophie, that's great!" 

"That's fantastic!"

You and Tom congratulate the two with the pregnancy before Ben gets serious. 

"It is only a month so we would appreciate it if you would keep it quite." 

"Of course, we say nothing." you say right away. 

Ben then looks at Tom and he smiles. 

"How about we turn the tables of you and me at my wedding." 

"That would be an honor, say when and where and I'll be there." 

"We were thinking about February next year." Ben says. 

Frowning, he looks at Sophie, but his attention is drawn when you punch his arm. 

"Ben, a baby and a wedding?"

"Sounds familiar." Tom chuckles. 

"Guys, what amazing news." 

"We want to keep both a secret."

"Of course, they won't hear it from us."

"I would like you to be my best man, Tom."

"It would be my honor." 

"And I would love to have you as a bridesmaid." Sophie says. 

"It would also be an honor for me Sophie, really. If you want I can help you with planning, I still have all the lists of my wedding." 

"Why do not you start by giving the telephone number of Mottistone?" Sophie asks. 

"Your getting married at Mottistone?" 

"Yes, I hope you do not mind but as we have said to you, my roots lie there." 

"Of course not, when do you want it?" 

"There is no hurry, it's planned for next year, February 14th." 

"Oh Valentine's Day, how romantic." you say.

"And I loved the cottiges we were staying while preparing for it."

"I will give you Delani's number, she runs the Brook House and David Roscoe runs Mottistone."

After an hour you start to yawn and your excuses yourself with Ben and Sophie who dismiss it. 

"Nonsense, it makes sense that you're tired a lot." 

Ben and Sophie say goodbye to you and while you feed Lucy Tom goes outside with Oakley and by the time he comes back your already lying in bed.

 

Dinner with Diana, James Dean and Emma runs smoothly and to avoid that you have to cook for six people Diana has brought the food and Dean and Emma have taken dessert with them. When you sit in the living room after eating and Lucy sits in Emma's lap you notice that she is completely taken up by her little niece and even Dean is all over her.

Diana then suddenly pulls out a bag that contains photo albums of when Sarah, Tom and Emma themselves were little and together you browse through them. You notice that Lucy looks more like her father than you expected, not only the curls and blue eyes but also the round face and even the ears she inherited from her father and, like he said, the ginger hair color. Sometimes Diana and James provide commentary with the photos, and when James suddenly stops talking in the middle of a story you look at him and even Emma and Dean look up.

"We have nevertheless also had a lovely time, as a family, didn't we?" James asks.

"Yes we did." Diana says. 

James smiles wryly and sighs. 

"I have been so stupid that I left it, I've done you so much pain." 

"Dad ..." Emma says, but James looks at her and shakes his head. 

"No, I just .... I am so grateful that you have given me a second chance to be a part of this family again after everythig that I did." 

"Dad, you've always been a part of our family." 

"It's sweet of you to say that, Em." 

"I mean it." 

He then looks at you one by one and his eyes remain with his granddaughter.

"I am so thankfull that I may be a grandfather for that little angel. While Tom had the most reason to never allow me in his life again, I have done him the most pain, put our relationship at stake," he says and looks at you and Tom, "thank you, from the bottom of my heart." 

You and Tom nod to him and then James takes one of Diana's hands in his, and she looks at him.

"And you,"he says,"all the time we spent together in recent months have made one thing very clear to me."

"What is that?" she asks.

"That I missed you, your presence, your smile, your voice,"he says and brings Diana's hand to his mouth to press a kiss there",I've missed so much time with you, I want to make that up, Diana, I want you back in my life, it does not immediately has to be as a couple, but I want to come back home, I want to come back to the house we raised our three amazing children in, where all those wonderful memories lie of us as a family."

Diana is overwhelmed by the confession and she does not know what to say, there falls a silence in the room and you and Tom exchange a glance with each other. Just when James wants to release Diana's hand, her arms slide around his neck and James immediately answers hug her. 

"Of course you can come back, James, it has always stayed your home too."

You smile and feel how Tom presses a kiss on your temple before he pulls you a little closer. When Lucy starts to whine a little you look at her and then at the clock.

"Oh, I need to feed her and she needs to go to bed."

"We will leave you then." Emma says.

"Oh no, you don't have to go."

"Yes we do, our kids also need to go to bed and this is also Tom's last night with you and Lucy."

You thank everyone for the lovely enening and after Tom walked out with Oakley and you have fed and changed Lucy you lay her in her cradle and just when you walk towards your bedroom you feel an arm wrap around your waist and you are pulled against Tom's chest.

"Wait." he says.

"What is it?"

"As my dear sister said, this is our last night together for at least seven weeks, I want to make it special." 

"Well, you have three hours." you laugh. 

"Come," he takes your hand and takes you into the bedroom and walks into your walk-in closet, directly to the lingerie you had on on your wedding night, "take it to the bathroom, change clothes and when I'm done in the bedroom, I'll come and get you." 

"Okay." you say hesitantly. 

You take the set and walk into the bathroom, before he closes the door he gives you another kiss and then you change clothes, when you're ready, you knock on the door. 

"I'm ready." you say. 

"Five more minutes." is the answer.

You sigh and turns around, walking through the bathroom your eyes fall on your mirror-image and you let your eyes wander over your body and even though you look quite attractive you can clearly see the extra kilos the pregnancy left with you. You turn your body and press your free hand on your abdomen to make it flatter and while you push your shoulders back you move your hips forward.

"What are you doing?" you hear Tom asking, amused.

You laugh and look over your shoulder to Tom, who now only wears his jogging pants, leaning in the doorway. 

"I was just thinking about how much weight I need to lose." 

"You, my darling, do not need to lose any weight."

"Well of course you would say that." you say, rolling your eyes.

"I mean it," he says and walks up to you to wrap his arms around your waist,"you are perfect as you are."

"I don't know." you say, hesitating.

"But if you feel like you need to lose weight to be comftable, I'm not stopping you."

Tom cups your cheek to kiss you softly and after the kiss, he laces his fingers with yours and he takes you to the bedroom. From behind his back, you see that the light is out and he has put down lit candles on every available surface creating a very romantic atmosphere. When you step away from behind him you see that he has closed the curtains but the windows are open so the underside of the curtains are being blowed inside a little bit but despite that it is not cold in the room. You are now beside the bed and smile when you look at it. 

"You have untied the canopy." 

"Yes, I thought that would give it some more .... intimacy."

You nod and look over your shoulder to Tom who looks at you smiling. 

"I like it." 

You crawl on the bed on your knees while continuing to look at him, you sit on your knees and beckon with your finger to him to come to you. Tom slowly walks towards the opening in the canopy at the foot of the bed and stands still. You slide up to him and grab the waistband of his sweatpants to pull him to you and immediately he ducks his head down to kiss you long and intense. You raise yourself up a little and your hands slip to his back, spreading your fingers to pull him closer and while you push yourself up against him his hands move lower and come to rest on your behind to push you up and against him. The kiss is getting very heated and passionate but when he suddenly breaks the kiss and starts to loosen himself from you, you take his hands and stop him.

"Tom, what's wrong?" you ask, worried.

"Nothing, nothing is wrong, I just..."

You look at him but his eyes are avoiding you and he keeps trying to free his hands from yours so when he steps back he pulls you off the bed.

"Tom, please look at me." 

Tom hears the concern in your voice and looks at you, he cups your cheek and smiles at you. 

"I just thought I heard Lucy, I'm going to go check on her, I'll be right back."

"I didn't..." you start but before you can finish Tom is already gone.

You frown your eyebrows and without thinking, you walk out of the bedroom and look into Lucy's room, as you thought Tom is not there but Lucy is, sleeping peacefully and you walk down the stairs and see him standing in the living room, peering outside. You slowly walk towards him and close your arms around his waist, he immediately places his hands on yours and grabs them tightly.

"What just happened?" 

"I panicked." he says. 

"Why?" 

"Because ...." he slowly turns himself in your arms and frames your face with his hands, "when you pushed yourself up against me, I felt my body responding to you." 

"And that's bad because ..."

"Because I know you're not yet ready for sex, but then I felt myself responding and I panicked," he caresses your cheek with his finger and pushes a strand of hair behind your ear, "I wanted you so badly at that moment, I was afraid that my desire for you would take over and I..." 

Tom stops talking and you notice that he wants to take distance from you again but you strengthen your grip around his waist.

"You once told me to keep talking to you no matter what and I promised you I would, you remember that?"

"Yeah, it was the night before our wedding." he says and you hear the smile in his voice.

"No secrets, Tom, keep talking."

"Like I said, I felt my body respond to you and I wanted you so badly, I was scared that if I wouldn't leave, I wouldn't be able to stop in time and I....I didn't trust myself." 

"Thank you for telling me this."

Tom smiles weakly at you and you take his hands in yours.

"Okay, so how about we go back upstairs and just see what happens?"

"Okay." he smiles.

"Good, we still have two hours before your daughter needs to be fed."

You slowly walk up the stairs and when you stand before Lucy's room you stop and listen for a moment and when you hear nothing you walk through to the bedroom. You take Tom to the bed and crawl back on, Tom follows you and slowly you turn yourself around. Tom sits down beside you and cups your cheek to pull you towards him to kiss you. The kiss is cautious and you notice that Tom is still holding back and when you sit closer to him he breaks the kiss.

"Tom..."

"I'm sorry..."

"It's okay," you say and kiss his cheek,"I know that you would never hurt me." 

"Of course not." 

"And I also trust that when I ask you to stop because you are hurting me or because I'm uncomfortable, you'll stop, no matter how difficult that may be for you, right?" 

"Yes absolutely."

"Before we do anything I need to get you relaxed a bit more," you say,"lie down on your back."

Tom smiles and does what you say, you crawl over him, stradling his legs and his hands slide up yours and come to rest on your hips. You lean forward and kiss his chest, working a way up untill you reach his neck and you playfully bite his earlobe.

"Hands beside your head," you say and wait untill he has done so,"and close your eyes."

Tom closes his eyes and you smile while you sit upraight and let your fingertips trail a path down. You slide yourself down a little and lean forward to place featherlight kisses on his chest. You move lower and you kiss and bite his niples, making Tom release a deep sigh and slowly you move even lower. You kiss his abdomen and feel his muscles tense and you keep kissing him there untill they relax under your touch and after a soft bite you come up a little and curl your fingers around the waistband to pull it down and over his hips. It falls to the ground and you position yourself between his legs, slowly sliding your hands up over his legs and your thumbs draw a circle on his innerthighs making him buck his hips slightly and you smile.

"Relax, baby, just let me take care of you." you whisper.

You lean forward and kiss the inside of his thigh and you can see his dick has softened a little. You place one hand next to his hip and the fingers of the other curl around his shaft, you slowly move your hand up and down, sliding his foreskin away and back again to let your thumb move over the tip. You gather the bit of pre-cum already there and move your thumb down, spreading it over his frenulum making him fist the sheets with his hands. 

Every now and then you feel a sigh of wind caressing your back and when you look up through your eyelashes you see the canopy move a little and that combined with the soft glow from the lit candles makes the scene very erotic and sensual. Just when you want to focus on him again Tom whispers your name and you look up. He is leaning on his elbows and looks at you with so much love and affection in his eyes it takes your breath away and for a moment you just look at each other. Suddenly he comes up and cups your cheek, pulling you forward to kiss you deeply, your hands move to his chest and you try to push him away.

"No, Tom...please.." you say while his kisses move to your neck,"this was supposed to be about you..."

Tom turns your face to the side to give himself more room and he kisses and licks your neck and you feel an arm slip around your waist and he pulls you up and against him while his kisses move up and he fuses your lips together in another passionate kiss and after the kiss he looks at you.

"You trust me?"

"I just told you I did."

"Then turn around,"Tom waits untill you have turned around and slowly moves closer to you, arm slipping around your waist and inside your slip to feel you,"fuck your wet."

Your mouth opens to say something when suddenly he pulls down your slip and he places his dick between your legs.

"Tom..." you say, a little hesitant.

"It's okay, I won't breach you, I just need to feel you. Lean on your elbows."

You do what he says and when you are leaning on your elbows Tom slowly starts to move and you realize what he means. Because your so wet his dick easily slides through your folds, soaking it with your juices, every roll of his hips pushes the tip of his dick against your clit and you moan loudly, eventually you start moving your hips backwards, trying to feel him better. Tom's breathing slowly goes faster and turns shallow after several thrusts and when he lets and arm circle your waist and his fingers start playin with your clit you feel your orgasme approaching fast.

"Tom..." you groan.

"I know, I'm close too, fuck...you feel so good, darling."

Tom let's his free arm move around your waist and he pulls you up, one of your hands slip into his hair and the other you lace with his and you squeeze it hard when an explosive orgasme hits you. You bite your lip not to scream out loud, not wanting to wake Lucy up and when Tom's thrusts falter and his breathing becomes ragged it only takes a couple of seconds before you feel his seed shooting through your thighs. You both breath heavily and your arms begin to tremble so you slowly let yourself fall on the bed with Tom besides you.

"Well,"you say and lick your lips,"that went a little different then I had planned."

Tom smiles and pulls you against him.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interfere with your plans but I just...God you looked so beautiful in the light of the candles, I just needed to feel you, to touch you. I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, no you didn't, god it felt really good. Your a genius."

You turn your head towards him and a few lazy kisses follow and just when you feel yourself slipping away Lucy starts crying. You groan and turn to move to get up but Tom stops you.

"Why don't you stay here, sit against the headboard of the bed and get yourself ready, while I get Lucy so you can feed her here?"

"That sounds great, thank you."

You share one last kiss before Tom gets up, puts on his sweatpants and leaves to get your daughter.


	81. chapter 77

When Tom comes back he gives Lucy to you and she instantly starts drinking, Tom is lying beside you on the bed, head supported by his hand while he watches. After Lucy drank enough and you have laid her between you, you mirror his position, and together you look at your daughter who is sleeping satisfied. 

"What time are you leaving? " you asks softly. 

"My plane leaves at six o'clock tonight." 

"What time are you in Shreveport?"

"Seven o'clock London time, eleven o'clock in the evening there. Gives me enough time to get used to the time difference and I can sleep, eat and shower before I have to be on the set Monday morning." 

You sigh deeply and put your hand on Lucy's belly, Tom reaches his hand to yours and laces your fingers together. 

"What's wrong?" he asks. 

"Nothing, just .... I just wish you did not have to go." 

"I know, me too. Makes me wish I was an ordinary man with an ordinary desk job and that I could take days of leave." 

"As wonderful as that sounds, you do not want a desk job, Tom, I know you and I know you would be terribly unhappy." 

"I know, and although I have always loved acting and felt so privileged being able to fly all over the world and see the most beautiful places, the only place I want to be right now is here with you and our daughter, so right now I don't really like being an actor." 

"Yes you do, you just don't like the fact that it takes you away from Lucy and me."

"The next seven weeks are going to be a hell without you and Lucy." 

"You'll still see us through Skype every day." 

"That's different." 

You nod and think for a moment. 

"What time do you have lunch during the shooting?" 

"From twelve to one." 

"We can agree that we Skype then, you have an hour's time. What time is it here then?" 

"Between eight and nine in the evening." 

"Lovely time for a bedtime story, or maybe you can play on your guitar and sing." you suggest.

"Yeah, maybe."

"And maybe you can convince Rodney to join you, you can sing a duet."

Tom laughs and accidental wakes up Lucy who starts whining a little.

"Oh look at what you did, you woke up your daughter." you say.

"I'm so sorry, little angel."

Tom leans forward and kisses Lucy on the forehead and the little girl looks up at her dad. Reaching out her arm and flexing her fingers towards him making him take the small hand and he places his lips against her palm before he blows out air and Lucy giggle, waving her other hand with the Loki-hug.

"Let's get her back to bed." you suggest.

After you have laid Lucy in her cradle you crawl back between the sheets, both on your side, facing each other, legs intertwined, Tom's arms around your waist, fingers gently caressing your back and yours on his chest. You do not sleep, just enjoy eachothers company which is interrupted every three hours by a little girl who needs to be fed and by noon you give her a bath and dress her in a soft pink bodysuit and you move to the couch. While Lucy lies in the box and you on the couch Tom goes out with Oakley and the rest of the afternoon you spend the same as the morning and night in bed, only then on the couch.

Around five o'clock it's time for Tom to say goodbye and despite the fact that you try to be strong you can not help that you start to cry. Lucy notices that you are sad and starts crying as well so that Tom suddenly has to comfort two women. He takes Lucy from you and places her on his hip while he puts his arm around you and presses you closer to him. 

"I hate this." he sighs. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to start crying." you mumble into his chest.

"I know, it's okay," he says and kisses your forehead,"I'll miss you, darling, and I shall also miss you terribly, my sweet little angel." 

He presses a kiss on Lucy's forehead before he gives her to you, and after a final kiss he walks through the door to the taxi and he's gone. You take a deep breath to calm yourself and hug Lucy as tightly as you can without hurting her. Rubbing your hand over her back in an attempt to comfort her while you whisper soothing words in her ear and placing kisses on her temple. After some time she stops crying and you decide to feed her before you give her a another daiper and dress her in a bodysuit and sleepsuit before you lay her in her cradle and take a bath yourself. 

 

The following week goes by, to your surprise, pretty calm, Sharon comes as agreed on Monday morning and she turns out to be a real nanny. She arranges that the visit's never consists of more than four or five people and that you always have two hours in between so that you can feed Lucy peacefully while she goes walking with Oakley and when necessary, she goes to the supermarket. She insists that she cooks for you every night and you on your turn insist that she stays for dinner and when you are finished she loads them into the dishwasher and she leaves for home. When Lucy cries she lets the consoling be done by you as much as possible because, according to her, Lucy should know that it's your job, it's your baby but when it's about changing diapers, bathing and dressing she helps you as much as possible.

The nights you're alone but because Sharon takes so much work off your hands and you can rest during the day, you have no trouble with the three feedings Lucy gets in the night.

You also speak to Tom every night and while he eats his lunch you are holding Lucy in your arms while you're already in the rocking chair. You also make sure she hears her father talking as much as possible to make sure she keeps recognizing his voice and try to make her look at the screen as much as possible so that she will not forget what he looks like. When Tom is done with lunch you feed Lucy while Tom softly sings lullabies to her, making her looking at him with her big blue eyes while she drinks. When she is finished drinking you carefully lay her in her cradle and put the laptop onto the edge so you both can watch silently how your daughter is sleeping before getting the laptop to the bathroom where you first brush your teeth and then to the bedroom where you change clothes before going to bed. 

Then it's your turn to ask him about his day and you smile when he says that everybody wants to know how you and Lucy are and they all wanted to see a picture, something you completly forgot about and you promis to send him a picture of you and Lucy together the next day. He also shows you his room at Rodney's home, decorated with a large stork, pink balloons and a ribbon that says 'it's a girl' and there are two big boxes on his bed, both pink, one for Lucy with al sorts of gifts and the other for you filled with bubble bath, bath pearls, scented candles, oils and other treats.

Halfway through the week Lucas and Megan come by and Megan makes friends with the little one very quickly, who lies in her lap cooing of pleasure. She also shows you the birth announcement that is placed in Elle. 

"You did beautifully." you compliment her. 

"Thank you, it's a very nice card," Megan says, "we often get questions about when we place a picture of Lucy."

"Really?"

"Yes, the fans want to see her." 

"I understand but I don't know, she's still just a week old, I want to keep her out of the spotlight as long as possible." 

"Understandable, but when you are ready we might be able to do a photo shoot?" 

"A photo shoot?" 

"Yes, with Lucy you and Tom, as we have done with your wedding pictures." 

"That seems like a great idea, but Tom is busy filming until December 18 and then we want to go away untill early January and the last two weeks of January Tom has been asked to keep himself availible for shooting the new Avengers movie so it will be early February."

"That's okay, that's a good thing, then Lucy is about four months and she is responsive to things around her and she can do a bit more then just drinking and sleeping, like smiling and raising herself up on her hands, things like that." 

"Will Matt and Tony take the photos?" you ask. 

"They've never done a photo shoot with a baby before but the wedding photos were new to them too and they've done wonderful on that." 

"I'll have to talk to Tom about it."

"Sure, just let me know."

After Megan and Lucas said goodbye you look silently from the doorway how Sharon is giving Lucy a bath and then gives her a clean diaper and a clean baby bodysuit. Then she places her in a sleeping bag and she takes her into her arms and when Sharon turns around you smile. Together you walk downstairs and when you are sitting on the couch she gives Lucy to you while she makes tea in the kitchen. When she comes back and sits down next to you Lucy stretches her arm out to the teenage girl and she takes it gently between thumb and forefinger while the fingers of her other hand tickle her tummy, making Lucy crowing with delight.

"Have you never thought about following an education to become an obstetrician?" you ask. 

Sharon stops tickling Lucy and looks at you in surprise. 

"Uh, no not really." 

"When I see how you handle Lucy and how she responds to you but also how you help me with everything, you would do very well." 

"Yeah, maybe." she says.

You hear a hesitation and you frown your eyebrows, but decided to leave it there and the rest of the evening passes peacefully. After saying goodbye to Sharon, the following hour is spend with Tom and when you and your husband left Lucy in her room and you lie in bed you tell him what Megan proposed. 

"It seems like a great idea, and a good introduction between Lucy and the fans." 

"Okay, then I'll pass it to Megan, and see if we can already set a date." 

"I have found something else for our vacation." 

"Oh?" you say and sit up a little.

"Yeah, a small island off the coast of western Italy, Ponza, it has white sandy beaches, beautiful bays and an incredible shopping boulevard. The prices are quite high but that is to ensure that the probability of celebrity's coming across fans is zero. It is owned by a Count or something, who has hired company's to build a hotel but also apartments and cabin's, complete with kitchen, terrace, swimming pool, bathroom. Everything is there."

"Sounds wonderful." you say. 

"It will only be Lucy, you and I, we will be able to fully withdraw ourselves when we want and when we go outside for a meal or a walk or to shop we can really enjoy the peace and the surroundings and one another without constantly looking over our shoulders if we are being followed by photographers. So, can I book it? "

"Yes, yes please book it, it sounds heavenly and just like what we need."

"Good, so I will be with you on the 18th, probably around four in the afternoon, if you make sure to pack for us we can leave the next day."

"Okay, I'll ask Emma what to bring for Lucy so I don't forget something."

"I'm sure she will be happy to help."

Suddenly your conversation is interrupted by a crying sound from the baby monitor, which is not unusual but tonight it sounds slightly different then normal and you frown your eyebrows while you and Tom listen to your daughter.

"Maybe you should take a look." Tom suggests.

"Yeah, okay. Be right back."

You walk across the hall into Lucy's nursery and when you enter, the whining sounds a little more urgent. You walk over to Lucy's cradle and see the little girl look up to you with eyes open, she instantly stretches out her arms to you and you bend to lift her out of her cradle.

"Hey sweetheart, what's the matter?" you ask.

Lucy lays her head on your shoulder and your free hand rubs soothing over her back but the cries continue. You walk with her to the bedroom and sit cross-legged on the bed.

"What is wrong?"

"I don't know." you say.

You lean slightly backwards so that you can look at her but Lucy grasps her fists into your gown and suddenly pushes the side of her head against your shoulder. You press her against you and look at Tom while you shrug your shoulders and your hand makes circular motions on her back.

"How does she feel?"

"Normall, like she does always. I did notice that the last two days she drinks less than normal and sometimes pushes her Loki-hug against the side of her head, as she just did with me and she cries a bit more. "

"What does that mean?"

"How should I know?" you ask, more irritable than you wanted.

"I don't know." Tom answers defensively.

"Sorry, I didn't mean.... I didn't mean to lash out at you."

"That okay, being a parent is new to both of us, darling, maybe it's nothing, and we're just overly worried."

You sigh and kiss Lucy's temple close to her ear and you frown your eyebrows and then you look at her. She is still crying softly and her eyes are closed.

"What is it?"

"She feels warm."

"Does she have a fever?"

You feel the rest of her head and shake your head.

"No, only around her ear."

You carefully lay Lucy on the bed and when you come up she clamps her fists in your gown again and with difficulty you get her loose. You stroke your finger over the ear and it seems as if the crying becomes even more insistent.

"Maybe you should take her to the emergency room."

"I don't know, maybe it's nothing."

"And maybe it is."

"I rather wait and see what happens during the next two feedings if she still drinks less then she should and her behavior stays the same, I'll take her."

"Promis me."

"I promis."

"And promis me something else too."

You look up and see the worry in his eyes.

"Let me know."

"Morning here means in the middle of the night there, Tom."

"I don't care."

"Okay, I promis."

"Thank you."

Meanwhile, the crying has stopped and you wipe your daughter's cheeks dry.

"I'll bring her back to her cradle."

"All right, my break is over, you call me tomorrow?"

"Yes, I'll call you, Tom."

After you said goodbye you lay Lucy in her cradle, and during the next two feedings you keep a close eye on how much she drinks, the first time it's still very little but nevertheless you lay her back in her cradle but then you smell an intrusive scent. During the change of her diaper you immediately see that the poo is thinner than normal and you bite your lip to avoid getting vomit tendencies.

"Wow, you've really done your best with this one, haven't you." you say.

You put a new diaper on her and give her a kiss before you place her in her cradle. With the second feeding she still drinks little and it is also being spewed before she begins to cry and her hands ball into fists. The Loki-Hug is raised and she tries to push it against the side of her face. You come into action and get dressed in sweatpants and sweater and Lucy is dressed in a coat and trousers. You run as fast as possible down the stairs where you are met by an excited barking Oakley and you notice that Lucy thereby cries harder.

"Oakley, hush!" you call.

The dog squeaks and immediately stops, you grab the car keys and run to the car, put Lucy in her car seat but because your so hurried and your hands are trembling so much you fail to fasten the safetybelt.

"Oh come on." you say irritable.

Finally you succeed and drive as fast as you can to the emergency room of the hospital, ignoring some orange lights and maybe a red one too, you don't know, but if you should get a ticket you're more then happy to pay for it. You park the car front of the hospital and run with the still crying Lucy inside.

"I need help." you say and look at the nurse behind the counter.

She looks over her glasses and pushes a form towards you.

"Fill this in and the complaints of the child and a doctor will come as soon as possible."

"I don't have time for that!" you say and slam your hand on the counter.

The nurse stands up and looks at you sternly, when her mouth opens you hear a familiar voice saying your name and you look over your shoulder to see your gynecologist standing.

"You must help me, Lucy cries and drinks poorly, and she has diarrhea and she spits ....," you're so rushed to tell her what happened that you are becoming out of breath.

"Okay, calm down."

"Calm down! How can I calm down when my baby is crying her eyes out and there is clearly something wrong!"

Lucy's crying suddenly turns into screaming and you rock her back and forth and rub her back but it isn't helping.

"Rebacca, beep doctor Weston," she says to the nurse behind the counter before she looks at you,"I understand your concern but you need to calm down, Lucy can feel how anxious you are and that makes it even worse for her."

"Ok I'm sorry."

"That's okay, take a deep breath."

While you catch your breath you notice that Lucy is crying less and eventually it turns into hiccuping sobs.

"What is going on here?" you hear.

You look around and see an older man in a doctor's coat walking towards you.

"Y/N, this is Dr. Weston, he has been our pediatrician for 30 years and the best in the country."

"Hello, y/n and who is this little girl and why is she so sad?" Dr. Weston asks and tickles Lucy on her stomach but she hardly reacts to it, pushing the hand with Loki-hug against her ear while she keeps on sobbing.

"That's a nice hug," Dr Weston said,"why don't you walk along to my ward."

The doctor leads you and Lucy to his ward and you instantly notice that it's really a pediatric ward. The walls are painted blue, pink, yellow and red and everywhere are toys. Plush toys and blocks but also plastic tables with chairs and coloring pictures. Dr. Weston opens a door to an examination room and you walk in before you find yourself turning around and looking at him.

"What seems to be the problem?" he asks.

"She drinks poorly since a few days, and an hour ago, she had diarrhea and she spit out her milk. And her ear feels warm." you say.

Dr. Weston reaches out his hands to Lucy, who is still sobbing quietly, to take her from you but Lucy just clings more tightly to you.

"Okay, she clearly wants to stay with you, that's good, that means that she feels safe with you."

You look at your daughter who presses her face into your sweater and while the doctor picks up an instrument you press a kiss on her head.

"You'll have to turn her a little bit so I can listen to her intestines."

You try to do what the doctor says but Lucy starts to struggle so eventually the doctor decides to first look at her ear. He puts an instrument in her ear and Lucy instantly ducks her head away and starts flailing with her arms in an ettempt to get it away from her.

"It's okay, sweetie, the doctor has to look at your ear." you whisper softly.

Lucy seems to understand and when Dr. Weston caresses her cheek she looks up at the man. He shows her the intrument and when she extends her hand to it, he allows that she grips it.

"See? Nothing scary about it." the doctor says.

Eventually, the doctor takes it from her and while you softly whispers to Lucy the doctor looks in her ear. He hums to himself before removing the instrument from her ear and looks at you.

"So? What's wrong with her? Is it serious?"

"No, not at all, her middle ear is infected."

"What? How did she get that?"

"It's very common with children and especially with babies and toddlers. The Eustachian tube, which connects the ear with the nose and pharynx, ensures that bacteria and viruses don't nestle there. This tube is shorter with children than with adults, allowing bacteria and viruses to have easier access to the middle ear. In most cases the ear infection will heal in a few days without treatment in a natural way. The immune system is able to overcome the infection itself. Usually within a week all symptoms have disappeared."

"Thank God,"you sigh and close your eyes,"what a commotion about nothing."

"Mrs. Hiddleston," Dr Weston says, and you look at him, "despite the fact that it can be treated simple, I understand that you came, that I often see with parents and their first child and I always tell them what I am also going to say to you: when your instinct tells you something is wrong, always come or at least call. Nothing is more important then the health of your child."

"Thank you, doctor." you say.

"Do not mention it, but if the symptoms have not disappeared within the week, please call me and I will write a prescription to get antibiotics for her."

"Okay."

"And I advise you to switch to bottle feeding, normally I don't do that but because she drinks poorly and in the first weeks nutrition is very important for newborns. With bottle feeding you can see exactly what she gets inside and you can make sure it is enough, also I would suggest you weigh her every day and might she lose weight, let me know."

"I will."

The doctor guides you to the exit of his practice and at the door turning yourself to him.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, and let me know at the end of the week how it is going with Lucy and if you so desire, I would love to take her as a patient in my practice."

"That sounds like an excellent idea." you say.


	82. chapter 78

While you walk to the car you notice that Lucy has stopped crying but is still awake but by the time you get home and she is lying in her cradle she is sleeping, Loki-hug tightly in her arms. It is now around five o'clock in the morning and despite the early hour, the city is already awake. You grab your laptop and place it on the bed before you sit down cross-legged and check if Tom is online and you smile when you see that he is indeed online. You click on his number and when he appears on screen you do not even have the chance to say something.

"And? How is she?" he asks, voice laced with worry for his little girl.

"Well," you say, "with the last feeding she had diarrhea and had to throw up so I went to the emergency room and was helped by a very friendly pediatrician, Dr. Weston, who has found an ear infection."

"What? How did she get that?"

"I also asked that but apparently it frequently occurs with infants and toddlers because their Eustachian tube, which connects the ear with the nose and pharynx, ensures that bacteria and viruses don't nestle there. This tube is shorter with children than with adults, allowing bacteria and viruses to have easier access to the middle ear. In most cases the ear infection will heal in a few days without treatment in a natural way. The immune system is able to overcome the infection itself. Usually within a week all symptoms have disappeared."

"And if it doesn't?"

"Then Doctor Weston wil write a prescription to get antibiotics for her. And he advised me to switch to bottle feeding, because with bottle feeding you can see exactly what she gets inside and you can make sure it is enough because nutrition is very important for newborns, especially in the first weeks."

"But she will be okay?"

"Yes, Tom, our daughter will be fine. I feel a bit said, though, that I have to stop breastfeeding her and I have no idea how to pump my breast."

"Maybe you can look it up on internet."

"Yeah, I could."

"How are you?"

"I'm okay, freaked out a bit when Lucy started to throw up everything and saw the diarrhea."

"I'm sure you were."

"When I got to the hospital and asked for help some stupid nurse behind the desk told me to fill in a form while Lucy was crying her eyes out."

"Your kidding." he says and you hear the disbelief in his voice.

"No, I'm not, so I slammed my hand on the counter, raised quit a bit attention."

"I wish I would have been there, in the years I've know you, you have never lost your temper." he says, laughing.

"Yeah well, I was worried for my daughter, if I had to tear down the hospital to get some help I would have, trust me."

"I do, and I would have helped you."

"Hm, when doctor Weston told me it would heal by itself I felt pretty silly, making such a scene about nothing but he was very sweet and understanding and told me that if I ever hesitated I could always come to him."

"He sounds nice."

"Yeah, he wants me to call him by the end of this week, to let him know how she is doing and he wants to take Lucy as a patient in his practice and I think I will, he has been a pediatrician there for more then 30 years."

There falls a silence between you and when you look at him you see his eyes roam over your form making you laugh and he looks at you.

"What?" he asks.

"Nothing, just....seriously, Tom, I'm wearing a sweatpants and jersey and still you look at me like I'm....."

"Gorgeous?"

"Yeah, something like that."

"Because you are."

"You can not even see my outlines."

"But I know they are there, and how beautifully they are and how soft and how good it feels when I caress my fingers over it."

"You are impossible." you laugh.

"And missing you."

"What do you miss?" you ask while laying down on your back.

"Everything, your fingers on my body, your lips on mine, your soft curves which you press against me when we lie in bed together, my fingers slowly sliding over your skin, caressing your breasts."

"Tom ..." you say and let a hand go down.

"Oh, where is that hand going?" he asks.

He stretches his neck to look and smiling you bite your lip.

"You want to watch?"

"Yes, please let me watch."

You reposition the laptop and let your hands slide down slowly, over your neck, your collarbone, breasts and your fingers curl around the hem of your jersey, you arch your back and pull it off to throw it away, then you pull your nightgown out off your sweatpants and repeat the process so that your upper body is naked. You let your fingers go lower and they fondle your breasts and you look sideways and see that Tom's eyes desirable move over your body. When your fingers are going lower his eyes follow them eagerly and they disappear into your sweatpants and and you caress your clit immediately.

"Feels so good, not as good as when you do it though."

You groan and Tom licks his lips and you see an arm go down.

"I want to watch, too." you say.

Tom turns the laptop and you see that he kicked off the blankets and is already hard. His hand goes up and down and sometimes his thumb slides over his tip, you hear his breathing speed up and when he rocks his hips forward an electrical surge rolls through your body, the sight of his rocking hips so erotically that you feel you are close.

"I'm close."

"Me too, turn your laptop, I want to see your face when you cum, darling."

With great difficulty, you turn the laptop and when you make eye contact with him an orgasm washes through your body, you push your head into the pillow and your mouth opens without producing a sound. You hear how Tom's breathing hitches in his throat and a soft curse, meaning that he also reached a climax. You sigh and turn your head to look at him.

"Can not believe I still have to miss you and Lucy for six whole weeks, how on earth am I going to get through those."

"I know, just concentrate on your role, then those six week will be over before you know it."

Tom smiles and puts the blanket over himself.

"What time is it with you?" you ask.

"About eleven o'clock." he says.

You nod and yawn before you rub your eyes.

"Go to sleep, it's been a hectic night. I want you to rest."

You agree with him and after you have said goodbye you change clothes yourself and you go to sleep.

 

The next day when you take Lucy out her cradle the ear is still a bit warm but while changing the diaper, you are relieved when you see that the diarrhea is gone. Also you give her the last feeding and you dress her in a bodysuit before you walk downstairs and put her in the playbox. After you have given Oakley his food Sharon stands outside the front door and you tell her what happened. Sharon reacts startled and walks straight to the playbox where she gently lays a hand on Lucy's belly. The girl whimpers a bit and turns her head to the side to push the painful ear is the mattress.

"Poor child," she says before she turns around to you,"are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." you say.

"You may lie down, I can imagine that you've got little sleep last night."

"Yes that's true but I am not so tired and I do have to learn as quickly as possible how to pump milk. I really don't want to give her that preserved stuff from the supermarket."

"Very sensible. Shall I take Oakley outside? Is an hour enough time?"

"That's very kind of you."

Sharon leashes Oakley and when they are gone you grab the laptop and after having looked at a number of sites you come across one which is very extensive. You soon discover that there are several ways to pump milk and fortunately you can also do it just by hand. You carefully follow the steps prescribed but nothing happens and just when you want to give up drops of milk come out your nipple that change quickly in a thin stream. You laugh and after the stream has changed back into drops you repeat the process with the other breast. The milk is collected in a measuring cup so you can see exactly how much you have and after you've finished you calculate how much Lucy needs and when you look into the measuring cup you're happy when you see that it is enough. Also, it is advised to make a schedule so that you pump at specific times and you calculate how much milk Lucy needs.

"Are you decent?" you suddenly hear Sharon calling.

"Yes, I am." you answer.

You see Oakley running in before you see Sharon and she looks at you.

"Well?" she asks.

You hold the measuring cup up and smile.

"I also have made a time scheme so that I know when I need to pump milk, and I have calculated how much she should have."

"That's great." Sharon says.

When you give Lucy the bottle later that day she refuses it firmly, you frown your eyebrows and push the teat against her lips but she turns her face away and starts wailing.

"Come on, Lucy." you sigh.

"Here, let me try," Sharon says, "the teat of a bottle is very different from a nipple so it is natural that Lucy does not want it. You have to let her know that what comes out of this bottle is good for her."

She gently takes Lucy from, and then the bottle, she squeezes the bottle until there is a drop of milk and dabs the teat against Lucy's lips. The girl licks the liquid off with her tongue and Sharon repeats it several times before the teen places the teat against her lips and Lucy sucks it in and eagerly begins to drink. You smile and put your elbow on the back of the couch and support your head with your hand.

"You're brilliant."

Sharon shrugs and smiles.

"I've been thinking about what you said," she says, and you look uncomprehending at her,"about following an education to become an obstetrician."

"Oh, and?"

"I've done some research and in order to become an obstetrician I need an undergraduate degree, which takes 4 years, before I can attend medical school, which takes another 4 years. After those eight years of school, I have to do a 4 years residency or an internship in obstetrics and gynaecology before I can practice it."

"So it will take you about 12 years."

"Yeah, that's a long time and I have never been that crazy about studying."

"If your passionate about something you can do a lot more then you think, and you are very passionate about caring for baby's, if you need a recommendation or something I will be more then happy to help, just like about everyone in the street, seeing you cared for all their kids."

"Thanks, that's very sweet." she says.

The next feedings you do yourself and the first two times you repeat what Sharon did before Lucy sucks the teat in and starts drinking. The rest of the day is pretty quiet, the times when you need to pump milk you retreat to the kitchen while Sharon and Oakley stay in the living room. 

At the end of the week you are going outside for the first time, you dress Lucy warm and lay her in the stroller, Sharon helps you down the steps and when you're walking over the sidewalk you hear someone calling your name and you look up. You see Amelia along with Ethan and Anna walking towards you with Jessie and as soon as Oakley sees the shepherd he starts barking enthusiastically and Sharon must make an effort to restrain him.

"Hi, first time out with little Lucy?" she asks.

"Yes."

"A memorable moment."

"That's for sure."

"Let's walk to the dog park, Oakley and Jessie can play and we can admire Lucy."

"Okay."

You walk to the small park and let loose Oakley and he and Jessie immediately run up to the field and start playing. Sharon walks behind them to keep an eye on them and you and Amelia sit on a bench, Anna between you and Ethan remains standing. You take a quick look around you and you find that it is very quiet before you gently take Lucy out of the stroller and lay her on your arm.   
You carefully slide the hood of her head, revealing her curls and smile when your daughter looks at you but soon her attention shifts to all the new things she sees around her and the new sounds. Excited she swings her arms around and crows all sorts of sounds from her mouth. You, Ethan, Amelia and Anna laugh at her reaction.

"It's such a beautiful baby." Amelia says.

"The most beautiful baby in the world, but every parent thinks that, of course, I'm sure you thought that about Jacob and Anna, too."

"That's true." Ethan agrees.

Your eyes wander over the park and your eyes rest on a man across the field, huddled in a thick winter coat but what draws your attention is the fact that he is wearing sunglasses despite the gray weather.

"Ethan, can I ask you something?"

"Yes of course."

"That man there, in the thick winter coat, you've seen him here before?" you ask.

Ethan looks at the man and nods.

"Since a few weeks, I have understood that he sometimes sits here for hours, often between eleven o'clock in the morning and three o'clock in the afternoon."

"I sometimes see him walk down the street, the strange thing is that he never had a dog with him." Amelia says.

"Okay, I see about six dogs, counting Oakley and Jessie, and....five men. That's strange." Ethan says.

You push Lucy tighter against you and stand up, placing her back in the stroller.

"Are you okay?" Amelia asks while she stands up.

"Yeah, I just, I want to go back home, sorry, can you tell Sharon she can stay for as long as she wants?"

"Sure."

Quickly you walk away from the park and back home and when you are inside your house you lift Lucy out of the stroller and hug her close to you. After you have laid her in the playbox you hear the door open and Sharon walks inside with Oakley.

"Hey, you could have stayed longer." you say.

"I know, Amelia told me but I just wanted to make sure you and Lucy are okay."

"Yes, fine, I just...."

"You just what?"

"There was this guy, ducked away in his coat and wearing sunglasses, Amelia had seen him walking the street a couple of times without a dog and I panicked."

"You were afraid he was a papparazzi?" Sharon asks.

"Yeah, sounds silly, I know."

"No it doesn't.

"I can't even go outside with Lucy without being afraid some photographer is lying in the bushes to take her picture," you sigh and walk to the play box and look at your daughter who has found a rattle and swings it back and forth wildly, making cooing noises,"I thought I could keep her out of the spotlight for as long as I wanted but I was just kidding myself, wasn't I?"

"It's the way it is, y/n, the media writes about what the people want to know and takes pictures of who the people want to see and right now the people want to see Tom Hiddleston's daughter, his first born, you have to learn to deal with that no matter how hard it is, I'm sorry." Sharon says.

"Yeah me too."

"You can't let the press dictate how you live your life, just hide her when you have the feeling your being watched."

"It shouldn't be like that." you say.

"I know, it shouldn't."

Later that day you call dr. Weston and tell him Lucy is doing better and when you talk to Tom that night you tell him what happened and he finds it frustrating that these things happen but just as Sharon said, it is just the way it is. He tells you that he has already developed a nice routine. In the mornings he goes jogging 8 kilometer to then have breakfast with Rodney before they go to the set. After he has spoken to you and Lucy filming mostly lasts until about six in the evening after which he eats in the former favorite pub of Hank, mostly with Rodney and often a few others. An great opportunity for Tom to get to know more about the character he plays, and often it is very late before he and Rodney return home where they play the guitar and sing a bit of Hank's songs.

The next day you again go outside with Lucy, Sharon and Oakley and this time you have placed Lucy in the baby carrier. You also place a cap on her head to make sure she stays warm. When you arrive at the dog park you look around you but you don't see the man from yesterday. You do see Ethan who comes walking towards you and smiles as he sits down.

"Hey, that guy from yesterday, which you pointed out?" he starts and you nod, "I sat beside him to ask him some questions."

"Oh you did not have to do that."

"I know, but I do not think you need to worry, he's looking for a house around here and he is planning to adopt a dog, so ...."

"Yeah, well, maybe I reacted a little exaggerated."

"No, it is logical, your reasoning. I know you wanted to leave because you want to keep Lucy from the publicity."

Lucy has now fallen asleep and is lying against you, you enjoy having your child so close and the days thereafter you repeat it often. Also, Diana and James come by a few times and also Emma and her two boys come along. Levi and Jason adore their little niece and are constantly found around her when they are visiting. The ear infection is now over and Lucy is drinking well and also gains weight, during her first time visiting the clinic she gets vaccinations making her cry and everytime you comfort her until the crying stopped.

In the next week you notice that Lucy begins to produce more sounds and that when she hears music she starts rocking in your lap. Also, you introduce her to cartoons on the TV and she has the most interest in programs that contain bright colors and high pitched sounds. When you have her on your lap an afternoon and Sharon sits next to you, you notice that she sticks her finger towards the tv when a certain figure is on it and she makes a cooing sound.

"I think she likes that figure." you say.

"That's De Li." Sharon says.

"Who?" you ask and look at her.

"De Li, the show is called Waybuloo, the one with the blue body and slightly tanned skin that looks like a bear is Nok Tok, De Li has a pink body with blue eyes, Lau Lau has a lilac coloured body and green eyes, Yojojo has monkey-like features an amber coloured body and blue eyes."

"You know a lot about the show."

"I've been babysitting lot's of kids so cartoons and cartoon characters are like my specialty," she smiles and looks at Lucy,"but little Lucy does seem to have a preference for De Li, maybe because of the blue eyes."

"You think?"

"Yeah, the color could remind her of Tom."

"You think she misses her daddy?"

"Of course she misses him." Sharon says.

"I miss him too." you sigh.

"Why do not you go to him." Sharon suddenly says, and you look at her, surprised.

"Go to Shreveport?"

"Yes, Lucy is no longer dependent on breastfeeding and her ear infection is over, she has had her vaccinations .... and I think Tom would find it also good to see you."

"Yes, but ...."

"No, no but's, buy a ticket and surprise him. Or better yet, this weekend is Halloween, buy a costume for yourself and Lucy and show up at his door step."

"I must say it sounds very tempting and I can just take Lucy? She does not need any documents?"

"No, apart from a doctor's certificate that you are the mother, of course."

"Yes, of course."

You decide to follow Sharon's idea and together with her you make the preparations for the long flight to Shreveport. You make a list of everything you need and you call Rodney so he can ensure that Tom is alone that weekend and it is just the three of you. You do worry about how Lucy will behave during the flight and when you express those to doctor Weston while asking for a document that says your her mother, he gives you some pills for the little girl to calm her but only when it is really necessary.

Finding a costume for yourself is not that hard and you quickly find what you want; cowboy boots, a leather skirt and a checkered shirt where you lay a knot in and where you wear a white tank top beneath. To top it all off, you also buy a hat. For Lucy it is more difficult, there are just too many cute costumes and ultimately your decision to buy a bee costume for her, complete with feelers and wings. When you have put on your cowgirl costume you dress Lucy in her bee costume, including the feelers and wings and you let Sharon take a picture. You look great and you can not help sending the picture to James, Diana, Emma and Sarah saying 'we are going to surprise daddy!'. To be sure you still add that Tom really can not know anything, it must stay a surprise. You get answers from all of them and all of them find that especially Lucy looks endearing, Emma and Sarah ad in their response that you look really sexy, and they believe that Tom will find it great to see you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy christmas everyone! Have a great time with family and loved ones and don't eat to much, my darlings!


	83. chapter 79

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you had a great Christmas and left some room for dessert ;)

On the morning of departure, Dean drives you to the airport and you are a little ashamed that you have so many suitcases, mostly with things for Lucy but Dean assures you that it's okay, he has two kids kimself so he knows it is necessary. You've decided to leave the stroller at home and instead take the baby carrier so that if you should decide to go outside, Tom can carry his daughter too. It is still very early in the morning so it is quiet and Lucy is lying content against your collarbone taking in the surroundings with her crystal blue eyes, Loki hug tightly in her fist when she suddenly points at something with her other hand and makes crowing noises. You look up and laugh when you see the cartoon characters of Waybuloo and you look at Lucy.

"You remember them, that's really good of you, sweetie." you say.

Without thinking about it too much you walk into the shop and look around, you quickly see the baby department and soon you stand among all of the Waybulo cartoon characters and it does not surprise you that she immediately points to the pink figure with clear blue eyes.

"You want that?" you ask.

Although Lucy obviously does not understand you, she starts waving her arms wildly and you smile and walk to the plush beast. You take a De Li and Lucy instantly reaches with her free hand for it to take it. She is about 10 centimeters long, slightly larger than the Loki-hug which she still holds firmly.

"Okay, let's go over to the cash register, shall we?" you say.

When you want to take De Li her grip strengthens on the hug and you laugh. Eventually you give up and walk to the checkout.

"Hi, I'd like to buy that hug but she will not let it go." you say.

The cashier looks at it and smiles while she presses some keys and you notice that she keeps looking at you and Lucy with one eye and when you give her the money she leans her forearms on the counter.

"Are you not..."

"Sorry, but I'm in a hurry, I have to catch a flight." you say.

"To Shreveport, no doubt."

You nod to her before you quickly walk away.

"Say hello to Tom for me!" she yells after you.

You can not help the faint smile on your lips. If you had been alone you had perhaps taken more time but now Lucy is with you, you don't want to stay too long. When you are allowed into the plane and you find your seat and sit down, a stewardess is on her heels next to you before you know it.

"Hi, I'm Jessica,"It's probably the first time she flies, right?"

"Yes it is."

"Well, we have a lot of experience with children and babies and mostly it goes smoothly but if a problem does occur then I'm sure we can work it out. If I can do something for you, warm up her bottle or something else, please let me know."

"Thank you, that's very sweet of you."

She walks away from you and you look at Lucy who still looks around her. You can find no trace of anxiety or something else and you rub gently over her back. She looks at you and swings excitedly with De Li, you smile and press a kiss on her forehead before she lays her head against your collarbone. During takeoff Lucy starts to whine a little and she presses her face against your chest.

"Shush, it's okay." you say.

You rub your hand over her back comforting and after a few minutes she becomes calm again. Not much later the same stewardess sits next to you again.

"Let her look outside, most find that wonderful." she suggests.

You turn Lucy a little so she can look outside and when the little girl does she excitedly begins to sway with her arms and your smile.

"If I can do something for you ..."

"Then I let you know, thank you."

"You're welcome, she's really adorable, how old is she?"

"Just three weeks." you reply.

The stewardess smiles and leaves you alone. To your relief the entire flight goes by quietly, Lucy looks outside with wide eyes and halfway you give her a bottle that has been heated up by Jessica and afterwards she quickly falls asleep in your arms and the rest of the flight she stays asleep. During the landing she wakes up but she remains quiet and on parting you thank Jessica for the care and when you walk out of the plane you approach the first security guard you see to help you with your bags. When he placed them in a cab you sit down and the man asks where you want to go.

"Shit." you say.

You should of course first go somewhere where you can change clothes before you go to Rodney's house, you had not thought of that, the taxi driver looks at you in his rearview mirror and wants to say something but changes his mind and then turns around.

"Say, aren't you Tom Hiddleston's wife?"

"Uh yeah, that's me."

"I'll take you to Rodney's house." he says.

"No!" you suddenly yell, making Lucy and the driver look at you,"sorry, I ....Tom does not know we're here, it's a surprise. I have costumes with me for Lucy and myself, I've just totally forgot that we should change somewhere."

"Oh, okay," the driver says and thinks for a moment before he picks up his phone, "hey Holly, you at home? Yes? Great, I am bringing someone by in, say, fifteen minutes. Who? Wait and see."

The driver hangs up and drives away while you look at him quizzically and Lucy automatically draw a little closer to you.

"Don't worry, that was Holly Williams." he says.

"Williams?"

"Yes, the granddaughter of Hank. She sat with me in seventh grade, in our home Hank's music was always playing, he was our first icon in country music."

"But she doesn't know me."

"No, but she knows Tom and Rodney. She's been on the set a few times to help Tom with singing of Hank's songs. She is very impressed with him and how hard he works. I'm sure she would love to meet you and Lucy you and can change clothes there."

"Thank you, that's very sweet."

"Don't mention it."

It is now mid-afternoon in Shreveport and you look outside, admiring the small town and its charming shops and restaurants and in your mind you already see yourself strolling through the streets and eating at a table in one of the restaurants with Tom and Lucy but you consider that you probably will not even leave the house. You want to spend as much time with Tom and Lucy as a family before you have to return to London again and you also hope to spend some time alone with Tom too. Even though you have had more periods with no sex this is different. The previous times it always was because he was not at home but when you start thinking back, it has at least been eight weeks since you have had sex and just the thought of Tom fucking you excites you enormously and you scrape your throat.

"Everything okay back there?"

"Yes, everything's fine." you say and avoid the eyes of the driver that look at you in the rearview mirror.

"We are here." he says.

You look outside and see a beautiful large house with a porch that, as far as you can see, wraps around the whole house and as you slowly step out of the car the front door opens and there appears a long slender woman with long blond hair. While the driver takes the suitcases from the car you slowly step from behind the car. The woman, Holly, looks at you frowning but when she sees Lucy suddenly there appears a smile on her face.

"Oh God, is this.... are you Tom's wife?"

Before you can say anything she steps up to you and hugs you, you're a little overwhelmed by her reaction and when Lucy suddenly starts to cry she lets you go.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, little girl, Lucy wasn't it? Hey Lucy, you are so beautiful! And you look so much like your father with your pretty blue eyes and curls," she says and tickles Lucy's stomach making her giggle,"but why didn't Luke bring you to Rodney's house?"

"Because Tom does not know we're here, it's a surprise."

"Oh, that is why Rodney suddenly insisted to go for trick or treat tonight with my kids."

"He just wants to give us the opportunity to spend time together as a family."

"That's nice of him, but come on in, please."

"Oh, Luke?" you say and turn around to the man, "you just have to grab the blue bag, that contains our costumes, at least if you want to bring us to Rodney's house later."

"Of course."

You follow Holly inside and when you walk into the living room you look around you amazed. Everywhere records and singles and prices are hanging, mostly of her grandfather but some also with her name on it. In a corner you see a display cabinet, and you walk over. There is a prominent place for a yellow CD called Lovesick Blues.

"MGM released "Lovesick Blues" on February 11, 1949, coupling it with "Never Again (Will I Knock On Your Door). The single sold 50,000 copies in the first two weeks." Holly says while placing a pot of coffee and three cups on the table.

"I have no idea what numbers mean in music but that sounds impressive." you answer while you look through the glass.

"It was, the magazine Billboard listed it as the number one country and western record of 1949 while Cashbox named it Best Hillbilly record of the year. Following the success of the song, Hank was invited to appear as a guest on the Grand Ole Opry, on June 11, 1949,"she says and hands you a cup of coffee,"after the performance, Hank received a standing ovation. Lovesick Blues became his signature song, which he used to close all his shows. It was also his first number one hit, and garnered Williams the stage nickname of "The Lovesick Blues Boy"."

You walk together with Holly to the table and sit down and Luke joins you, Lucy in the meantime is still sleeping with in one hand De Li and the other Loki.

"Hank was honored with numerous awards. He also received a few things posthumous, such as the inclusion in the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1961. With this, he was among the first three that were included in the Hall of Fame. Furthermore, he was included into the Nashville Songwriters Hall of Fame in 1970, in America's Old Time Country Music Hall of Fame in 1976 and he received a star on the Music City Walk of Fame in Nashville in 2008."

"Sounds like he could have had an amazing career. What happened? If you want to tell me, I mean, you don't have to of course ..... sorry."

"That's okay, I will have to face it again, on filming,"Holly says, and takes a deep breath,"he was scheduled to perform at the Municipal Auditorium in Charleston, West Virginia on Wednesday December 31, 1952. Advance ticket sales totaled US$3,500. That day, because of an ice storm in the Nashville area, he could not fly, so he hired a college student, Charles Carr, to drive him to the concerts. Carr called the Charleston auditorium from Knoxville to say that Hank would not arrive on time owing to the ice storm and was ordered to drive him to Canton, Ohio, for the New Year's Day concert there."

"They arrived at the Andrew Johnson Hotel in Knoxville, Tennessee, where Carr requested a doctor for Hank, as he was feeling the combination of the chloral hydrate and alcohol he had drunk on the way from Montgomery to Knoxville. Dr. P.H. Cardwell injected him with two shots of vitamin B12 that also contained a quarter-grain of morphine. Carr and Hank checked out of the hotel, the porters had to carry Hank to the car, as he was coughing and hiccuping. At around midnight on Thursday January 1, 1953, when they crossed the Tennessee state line and arrived in Bristol, Virginia, Carr stopped at a small all-night restaurant and asked Hank if he wanted to eat. He said he did not, and those are believed to be his last words. Carr later drove on until he stopped for fuel at a gas station in Oak Hill, West Virginia, where he realized that Hank was dead. The filling station's owner called the chief of the local police. In Hank's Cadillac the police found some empty beer cans and unfinished handwritten lyrics."

"That's really tragic."

"Yeah it was. Dr. Ivan Malinin performed the autopsy at the Tyree Funeral House. He also wrote that Hank had been severely beaten and kicked in the groin recently. Also local magistrate Virgil F. Lyons ordered an inquest into his death concerning the welt that was visible on his head. His body was transported to Montgomery, Alabama, on Friday January 2 and was placed in a silver coffin that was first shown at his mother's boarding house for two days. His funeral took place on Sunday January 4 at the Montgomery Auditorium, with his coffin placed on the flower-covered stage. An estimated 15,000 to 25,000 people passed by the silver coffin, and the auditorium was filled with 2,750 mourners. His funeral was said to have been far larger than any ever held for any other citizen of Alabama and the largest event ever held in Montgomery."

"Sounds like he got the funeral he deserved."

"He did,"Holly says and then looks at you at the moment you have to yawn,"sorry, I know it can be a very boring story."

"What? No, it's just jetlag, it was a long flight, really, normally I wouldn't really be that interested but since Tom is playing him, it's nice to know a little bit more."

"You know, when I first heard that an Englisman was going to play Hank I really had my doubts but after meeting Tom and after seeing how hard he works and to see how determined he is to play Hank as best as possible, I realized that Marc couldn't have cast a better actor for the part and after the movie had it's premiere, I hope that every one who had criticism on him will see that too."

"That are a lot of people, including your brother." you say.

"Hank III is an asshole."

"Holly." Luke says.

"What?" she says, looking at Luke.

"He's your brother."

"Half-brother, big difference," she says, looking you at, "really, Hank III is a dick, he thinks that he is the main heir to Hank sr. because he was his first grandchild and because Hillary and I have another mother, he has never sees us as equal's. That video and the comment he posted after Tom's performance at the Weatland Festival went much too far. So what if his voice wasn't spot on and he was missing soul and moan, Tom had only been practicing on his voice and singing with Rodney for a few weeks, given the circumstances he did not do that bad. The fact that Tom was there, exposing himself in Hank's hometown and to the people who see Hank Sr. as a legend takes a lot of courage, he did well and I thought it was very brave of him."

"That's sweet of you to say."

"And I mean it, Tom is an amazing actor and one of the most heartfelt, sincere and honest man I have ever met and definitely one of the most humble ones, I come across a lot of celebrity's that act al so presumptuous but Tom doesn't act like he's this famous moviestar that everyone should obey."

Meanwhile, Lucy begins to make soft noises, indicating that she is slowly awakening. You look at her and smile when you look in her blue eyes.

"Hey, honey, you're finally awake?" you ask.

You get up and look at Holly.

"Would you mind unfastening the baby carrier?"

"Of course not."

Holly loosens the baby carrier and you place it on the sofa before you lift Lucy and lay her on your arm so Holly and Luke can see her.

"She has Tom's curls and eyes." she says.

"Luckily," you smile, "do you want to hold her? Then I can warm her bottle."

You gently lay Lucy in Holly's arms and look at it a moment to see if everything is going well but it is clear that Holly has experience with children. She immediately starts talking to Lucy softly and tickles her belly making her coo of pleasure and waving her arms in the air.

"What a delightful baby you are! And you look so much like your father."

You smile and walk to the kitchen where you warm her bottle in the microwave when you come back a few minutes later you see that Luke is also absorbed in your daughter.

"She certainly has you guys wrapped around her finger, I see."

"Absolutely." Holly says.

You take Lucy from Holly and look at her.

"Lucy is used to that Tom sings for her when she gets her bottle." you say.

"Say no more." Holly says.

She turns around and picks up her guitar to play for Lucy and while playing the little girl constantly looks at Holly. After she finishes and you have made her burp it's time to get changed and Holly brings you to one of the bedrooms. After half an hour you are ready and with Lucy on your arm you walk into the living room where Luke immediately whistles through his teeth when he sees you.

"Howdy cowgirl." he says, and you smile.

"Seemed appropriate." you say.

"Lucy looks very charming." Holly says.

You thank Holly for her time and for the story about her grandfather, and just when she wants to open the door the bell rings and Rodney stands at the door. Holly's kids are still changing clothes and after you've taken his compliments you say goodbye and Luke brings you to Rodney's house. With every minute you become more nervous and when Luke stops you remain seated while watching the house. There's a light on in the living room but otherwise the house is dark, it's much like Holly's house, a porch that wraps around the entire house with next to the front door a bench and table. It is very secluded from the village and you hope that ensure that there will no trick-or-treater show up at the door so you Tom and Lucy can fully enjoy each other. Meanwhile, Luke has taken the suitcases out of the car and then he looks at you.

"Y/N," Luke says, and you look at him,"are you coming?"

"Yes, just....nerves I guess."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"I'm sure he will be delighted to see you and that precious little one." he says and nods towards Lucy who is sucking on one of De Li's hands.

You nod and while Luke carries the suitcases you walk in front of him until you are standing on the porch. Luke sets the bags down and looks at you.

"It was a pleasure to meet you, y/n, and you, too, adorable little bee." he says and walks away. You look at Lucy, and you take a deep breath.

"Well, are you ready?" you ask.

Lucy makes happy sounds, almost as if she knows she is about to see her daddy again and you smile, she waves her arms back and forth, she still has both Loki and De Li firmly in her hands, you've tried to get her to make a choice but Lucy wanted to hold them both. You turn Lucy, so she is the first thing Tom sees and slowly reach your finger to the doorbell and when you hear the bell and some noises inside you put a step back. Then his voice saying he will be right there, God his voice, just the sound alone gives you the shivers and suddenly you can't wait, you don't want to wait you just want him to open the door, to hold you and kiss you and....then the door swings open and you stand face to face with your husband, eyes looking at each other but both your voices seem to have been stolen. Lucy, on the other hand immediately begins to enthusiastically wave with her arms when she sees her father who only has eyes for you, eyes that slowly move down over your body before they move up again and look at yours.

"Trick-or-treat." you whisper.

"Oh my God, am I dreaming? I'm dreaming, right? You're not here, you're in London..." he says.

Without further ado, you walk up to him and your arm goes up to let your fingers slide into his hair and you pull him towards you. The moment your lips touch you both sigh longingly and the kiss deepens quickly, his arm encircles your waist and he pulls you even closer to him while the kiss becomes more intense and when Lucy starts to whine on your arm you let go. He smiles and takes his daughter over from you.

"Hey, darling, don't you look adorable," he says, "let me look at you."

Lucy still excitedly swings her arms back and forth and Tom frowns when he sees the new acquisition.

"Who is this?" he asks,"does Loki have competition?"

He wants to take the hug but Lucy strengthens her grip and Tom tickles her belly. You smile while Tom hugs his daughter and draws her close to him, then he cups your cheek and you lean against the touch before he draws you into his arms. For a moment you stand there and you feel how Tom presses a kiss on your forehead before he looks at you. 

"Now I know why Rodney insisted that I looked after his house tonight," he says,"come."

He takes a step back and you follow him inside, it's a big house, bigger than you had expected and the interior is like that in Holly's house, a lot of music records on the wall and prizes but also a long glass cabinet with different guitars in it and you look at it.

"He has played on all of them, the white one in the corner was his first. Each time he bought a new one, he could not relinquish the old and so he kept them all."

"They are beautiful."

"He, cowgirl, let me look at you." Tom says.

Then you suddenly remember what you're wearing, the boots, the short skirt and the white tank top with shirt over it, tied in a know, the hat and slowly you turn around and look at him through your lashes. 

"God, I'd forgotten how incredibly sexy you can be." he sighs.

You smile but before you can do anything further Lucy demands the attention of her father again and Tom focuses himself back on his daughter. He walks over to the living room where a large rug lies in the middle before a lit fireplace, and he lays her gently on her back as he sits down next to her and starts playing with her. You walk towards them and sit down on the couch and you watch how Tom catches up on lost time. Father and daughter are completely immersed in each other and suddenly you remember that there are suitcases on the porch. You get up, but Tom grabs your wrist and you look at him.

"Where are you going?"

"There are suitcases outside."

"I'll get them."

"No, spend time with Lucy, I'll get them, they are not heavy."

"Okay."


	84. chapter 80

After you put the suitcases inside the house you walk into the kitchen after looking back at Tom and Lucy one more time. In the kitchen, you open the fridge to get a drink when you see a bottle of white wine. It is almost a year since you have had wine and you should really eat something first before you start to drink but you reach out your hand. Your startled when Tom's fingers suddenly catch yours and he brings it to his mouth to kiss it.

"Where's Lucy."

"Fell asleep." he says.

Before you can say anything he closes the refrigerator and pushes you against it before he kisses you deeply. Your fingers slip in his hair and you turn his head to deepen the kiss. His fingers slide down while his kisses go lower too, biting and licking before he plants kisses in you neck, his fingers continue downwards and he hooks them in your knees. He firmly presses you with his hips against the refrigerator and in one swift motion, he hoists your legs up which you instantly wrapp around his waist to lock your ankles in his lower back. His fingers leave a trail of fire behind on your naked skin while they move back up and under your skirt and they slip in your panties. Tom cups your behind and rocks his hips against yours while making a circular motion and you feel how hard he is.

"Tom..." you breath out and weakly push at his chest.

"I know, we need to stop, otherwise I am going to cum in my underpants." he gasps.

"Yes, me too."

Laboriously and reluctantly you let each other go, you lean against the fridge while Tom has his hands beside your head. He leans down to give you a kiss and you look at him.

"Why do you not pour some wine for us, then I will warm Lucy's bottle before I put her in bed, and we can continue where we left off."

"That sounds very good but I have a better idea."

He turns around and walks to a kitchen cabinet, opens the door and pulling out a bottle of champagne.

"Oh, no, that's Rodney's, we can not drink that."

"It was for a special occasion, but this is special enough. I wil replace it."

"You promis?"

"Yes, I promis."

Tom continues with the champagne while you warm Lucy's bottle in the microwave and together you walk into the living room where Lucy is sleeping content and you look at her. In the light of the fireplace she looks even more adorable in her bee suit and you place the bottle on the table before you lift Lucy and sit down on the couch.

"Sing us a song." you ask.

"Of course."

While Tom softly starts singing you give Lucy the bottle and the little girl focuses her eyes on her father. After Tom's finished, he puts away the guitar and sits down next to you on the couch, he lays an arm around your shoulder and watches as his daughter empties her bottle.

"Do you want to set up her travel bed while I try to let her burp? It stands by the suitcases."

"Sure."

He gives you and Lucy a kiss and then walks away to set up the bed in one of the bedrooms. When he is done Lucy is sleeping in your arms and together with Tom you bring your little girl to bed. You keep watching her for a moment before Tom kisses your neck and laces your fingers and begins to pull you towards the door. In the living room you sit down on the couch and Tom gives you your glass of champagne and cautiously you take a sip.

"And?" Tom wants to know.

"Hmm, delicious .... sweet." you say.

"I knew you would like it." he says.

You silently drink the champagne, watching the fire and listening to the crackling sound and when your glasses are empty, Tom places them on the table so he can slip his arm around your shoulder and he can pull you against him. You smile and lay your head on his shoulder while his fingers carress your upperarm.

"Not that I'm complaining, but to what do I owe the pleasure of your visit."

"We just missed you," you say with a shrug of your shoulders,"and actually it was Sharon's idea."

"Then I have to thank her," he says,"and what's with this new plush toy?"

"That's De Li, she's from Waybuloo, this cartoon show and Lucy pretty quickly started to react to her."

"React how?"

"Well, when she would be on screen Lucy would stretch her arms and point to her and started making this happy noises. Sharon thinks it's because of the blue eyes, that they remind her of you. So when we were walking over the airport in London she saw the characters and started to point to De Li so I walked inside and got her one."

"As long as she doesn't ignore Loki." Tom says and you look at him.

"Are you jealous?" you ask amused.

"So what if I am?"

"I would not worry, I've tried to let her choose between the two, but she firmly refuses."

Tom looks at you and carresses your cheek with his finger.

"I'm so happy you're here."

Before you can do anything he leans in and kisses you passionately on the lips. Your fingers slip into his hair and his hands find their way back up over your legs, he hooks a finger in the back of your knee and pulls your leg over his so your straddling him and his hands slip under your skirt and into your slip. When you must break the kiss to breath your lips lower to his neck and when you gently bite his skin he moans low in his throat.

"You know, I came across a picture of you as Hank a while back, a fan had written a nice inscription with it, want to know what it said?"

"Sure."

"Save a horse, ride a cowboy."

Tom chuckles and you look at him.

"That's.... inventive."

"So what do you say," you say and take your hat off to put it on Tom's head, "you want to be my cowboy?"

"Oh, darling, I'll be everything you want."

Instead of kissing you he stands up and lifts you up to lay you on the rug in front of the fireplace.

"Oh, this is surprisingly romantic." you say.

"What? You know I can be very romantic."

Tom smiles and puts his hands beside your head before he kisses you, then one hand slides down and he bites your lower lip before he breaks the kiss and his eyes move over your body. He sits up and his eyes flicker up to yours, the flames of the fireplace shine on his face but the brim of his hat ensures that his eyes are shrouded in shadow but still you see the sparkle of desire and adoration you always see when he looks at you. 

His eyes move down again while his hands move to the knot in your shirt and he opens it slowly before he pushes the shirt aside. Then his hands lower to your skirt and he slowly slides the zipper down. He is pleasantly surprised when he notices that the zipper runs all the way down and he can slide the skirt aside so that you now only wear your top, underwear and boots. When his hands creep up to lift your tank top you start to laugh a little and he looks at you.

"What?"

"Nothing just....after what happened in the kitchen I thought that as soon as we had put Lucy to bed you would rip my clothes off, push me up against the wall and just take me."

"I wanted to, I did, but I love to see you in these clothes so I don't want to ruin them. Please tell me you bought them so you don't have to return them."

"Yes I bought them, except the boots, they didn't had them in my size so I've lend them, which is really a shame because they are easy to walk in and they look great on me, if I do say so myself."

"Hm, yes they do, and furthermore childbirth is only four weeks ago, you're probably still sensitive and I don't want to hurt you."

Tom has pulled off your tank top and leans over to kiss you, you put your feet flat on the ground and push your hips up, looking for friction and Tom smiles against your lips. Your hands find a way down and slip under his shirt before they move up again, pushes his shirt up too while your fingers move over his chest. One moment he comes up to pull it off and immediately he opens the clasp of your bra and eagerly pulls it off. They then go to your slip and he pulls that off too and you lift your leg up so he can pull off a boot but he shakes his head while he cups your heel and looks at the boot before looking at you again.

"No, the boots stay on, too sexy."

You laugh and your legs open wider for him when his hand moves down and he moves a finger over your slit feeling how wet you are. When he slips a finger inside you moan and lift your hips again. He pushes his finger inside you again and tries to find that one spot that makes you see stars and when he does you moan and your muscles already tense around him.

"Already close?"

"Yeah, come here." you say.

Your hands reach for the waistband of his pants to open the button and zipper, and as he leans over you and your lips meet in an intense kiss your hands glide over the curve of his buttocks sliding his pants and boxer off his hips. He repositions himself and you both moan when the tip of his cock makes contact with your slit. Slowly he starts pushing inside you but when he is halfway you can't help a painfull noise escaping you and you close your eyes.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." he says and wants to pull out but you grab his behind and squeeze.

"No, no.... don't stop." you breath.

"Look at me, darling."

You open your eyes and look at him, he smiles at you and you smile back wearily.

"You sure about this?" he asks and you hear the uncertainty in his voice.

"Yes, very definitely, it's been too long, just .... please just fuck me."

Tom lets a hand go below your lower back and supports you while lifting your lower back and rocking his hips forward and back again slowly. He repeats this until he fills you completely and then he stops and looks at you. You're breathing hard and your eyes are shut again and Tom leans forward to plant kisses on your cheek and lips untill he feels you relaxing around him and when you do, he leans back and looks at you.

"You are so breathtakingly beautiful, darling." he whispers.

You hear the adoration in his voice and you open your eyes to look at him. You smile at him, hand reaching for his cheek making him lean forward while he places his hands next to your head. When your hand makes contact with his cheek he leans against the touch and he slowly begins to thrust while he looks at you, searching your eyes and face for some sort of discomfort but he finds none and he smiles. Tom leans forward and kisses your neck, your collarbone and eventually he takes a nipple between his teeth, his tongue washes over it and then he gently tugs on it. You feel how Tom pulls your hips against him with every thrust and penetrates you deeper and you feel him tremble in your arms.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, I just....christ, I forgot how amazingly good it feels to be inside you, your so soft and warm...fuck, I missed feeling your walls clench around me when your close."he says while he slowly thrust inside you again.

"I missed you too, baby." you whisper, hands slipping into his curls.

"What did you miss? Tell me."

"Feeling you inside me, so deep, how your pushing me to the highest level of pleasure, a level no other lover has ever brought me, only you. God you fill me so good, Tom, no one has ever filled me the way you do, no one has ever came close to how good you can make me feel."

You also feel a slight twinge of pain going through your groin with every thrust but you close your eyes and concentrate on the pleasure that he gives you, of finally feeling him inside you again after a much to long time, the feeling of his body on top of yours, his fingers tongue and lips all over your body, his puffs if breath against your bare skin and his moans, his thrusts that go deeper and deeper inside you and gradually the pain disappears. Tom's lips find there way up and end up at your ear.

"Your so tight around me,"he whispers in your ear before he leans back a little and let's his eyes wander over your form,"your so beautiful, so gorgeous, it still amazes me sometimes you chose me, that you wanted me too, that you found me good enough to be your husband and the father of your children."

He looks up at you, eyes shining with pride and he leans forward untill your body's touch everywhere and your hands move aorund his waist and slide up and down his back and end up on the back of his shoulders and you pull him against you.

"It feels so good to have you with me, to feel your soft delightful body moving with mine, as one."

Before you can say anything back he kisses you deeply on your lips and when Tom swivels his hips on a thrust you feel an orgasm washing through your body. Tom follows you soon and he breaks the kiss to moan deeply and he buries his head in your shoulder and the brim of his hat brushes your neck making you shiver underneath him. While you give him some time to catch his breath you weave your fingers through his hair and end with gentle tugs at his curls. Eventually, he lifts his head and kisses your cheek, you smile and look at him.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine." you say.

Tom gets up and when he slips out of you, you moan softly, he wants to lift you up but you stop him.

"No, let's stay here, by the fire, it's nice." you say.

"Okay, give me a minute."

Tom sits on his knees and stretches to reach a blanket on the couch, he drapes it over you and lies down next to you and you roll on your side, Tom behind you, one arm under your head and the other over your waist and you grab his hand to press a kiss there.

 

You wake up when Lucy starts to cry, and for a moment you press yourself deeper into Tom's embrace. He kisses your shoulder and nuzzles his nose into your neck.

"I'll go get her, you get her bottle ready." he suggests.

"Okay."

Tom slips away from under the blanket and you stand up and dress yourself before you prepare Lucy's bottle in the kitchen. While you wait you hear that Lucy has stopped crying and you walk into the living room and when you see the scene before you, your heart skips a beat. Tom has only put on his jeans and holds his daughter close against his chest, hand under her buttocks and one cups the back of her head while his lips rest against her temple and he slowly rocks her back and forth. The sight is so sweet and endearing that you almost do not notice that the microwave beeps to indicate that her bottle is warm. You take the bottle from the microwave and walk up to them, Tom wants to give you your daughter but you shake your head.

"You give it, that is the advantage of a bottle, that daddy can do it too."

Tom gently places Lucy on his arm and he takes the bottle from you, while drinking Lucy's eyes close and it takes longer than normal until the bottle is empty. You take the empty bottle from him and say he must lay her against his shoulder and gently tap on her back so that she lets a burp. While Tom is doing what you say you walk into the kitchen and rinse the bottle and when you walk into the living room again you can hear a tiny burp. Tom smiles and rubs his hand over his daughters back as he pressed a kiss on her head. You remain looking from a distance how he pushes her closer to his chest and keeps on moving his fingers over her back.

"Why don't you lay her back in her cradle, I'll wait here for you." you suggest.

Tom nods and walks down the hall to lay her in her cradle while you walk towards the window and look outside and your starled when two arms slip around your waist.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, fine,"you say,"I just...."

"Just what?" Tom says.

You sigh and Tom walks towards you to lay his arms around your waist.

"Now I am a mother myself, I find myself thinking of my own mother more and more, what kind of person she was, what she looked like, how our relationship was," you say and turn around in his arms,"I know nothing about her, Tom, I do not even have a picture of her."

"I know and I'm sorry, darling."

"That's okay, I have you and Lucy, and that's all I need." you say.

Tom smiles and kisses your lips before he softly begins to sing.

Say hey, good lookin' - what ya got cookin'?  
How's about cooking somethin' up with me?  
Hey, sweet baby - don't you think maybe  
We can find us a brand new recipe?

I got a hot rod Ford, and a two dollar bill  
And I know a spot right over the hill  
There's soda pop and the dancing's free  
So if you wanna have fun, come along with me

Suddenly he grabs your hand and spins you around, making you laugh and with one arm he pulls you against him and the other hand grabs yours and together you dance around the room.

Say hey, good lookin' - what ya got cookin'?  
How's about cooking somethin' up with me?

I'm free and ready, so we can go steady.  
How's about saving all your time for me?  
No more lookin' - I know I been cookin'  
Hows about keepin' steady company?

I'm gonna throw my date book over the fence  
And buy me one for five or ten cents  
I'll keep it till it's covered with age  
Cause I'm writin' your name down on every page

Say hey, good lookin' - what ya got cookin'?  
How's about cooking somethin' up with me?

Tom spins another round with you before lifting your bridal style, making you squeel and your arms go around his neck. He takes you into the bedroom he has in use and together you crawl under the blanket, facing each other and you let your fingers slide over his chest and you feel his muscles, as always, twitch under your touch and you smile. The rest of the morning the last eight weeks in which you couldn't have sex in are caught up on and the moments after, when you are catching your breath entangled in each other, are used to explore each other's bodies again with hands and lips.

 

The next morning during breakfast Tom gives his daughter the bottle again, and while she is lying in her travel bed, placed on the rug by the fireplace, she is playing with De Li and Loki and you are in the kitchen to wash her bottle when you feel two arms slip around your waist and you get a kiss in your neck.

"What do you want to do today? Stay indoors or go outide?"

"I do not know," you say and place your hands on Tom's,"stay indoors is fine but it seems also wonderful to go outside, walking through the woods. Can we do that?"

You turn in Tom's arms and you place your arms around his neck.

"Of course, this house is very remote, the nearest neighbors live kilometers away."

"Then let's go outside, you can wear the baby carrier so that you can carry Lucy yourself and just wander through the forest."

"Sounds lovely." Tom says and leans forward to kiss you.

The morning is spent in the living room and at midday you decide to give Lucy her bottle so you don't have to do that while your out. While Tom is feeding his daughter you pack a backpack with some things in it and when your done you place it next to the frontdoor and when you see Lucy lying in her cradle in front of the fireplace you walk to the kitchen where you see Tom standing before the sink with Lucy's bottle in his hand and he looks at it. Leaning against the doorway you watch him as he wipes his finger across the teat, gathering a drop of milk on the tip of it and he brings it to his nose, he smells it carefully and you can not contain a chuckle. Tom looks up and immediately puts the bottle on the counter.

"What are you doing?" you ask amused.

"Nothing," he says, and you raise your eyebrow,"I just...I'm just curious, how it tastes."

"Oh, I understand, taste it." you say.

Tom looks at you frowning, not quite knowing how to react and his mouth opens and closes again. You walk up to him and go stand next to him, leaning against the counter.

"Or would you rather have it from the source?" you say.

Tom's eyes widen and his eyes lower for a moment to your breasts before he looks at you again.

"Really? I mean, that's for Lucy..."

"I have enough at home, she will not miss it and it's the most healthy nutrition one can get so it would be a shame to let it go to waste."

You turn your body and grab the counter with your hands and teasingly you push your breasts out and again his eyes move downwards.

"Isn't that weird? I mean, that I..."

You push yourself up on the counter with your hands and you reach them out to him.

"Come here baby." you say.

You open your legs for him and he stands in between, hands beside your hips and you realize that Tom needs a nudge. Your hands go to the buttons off your blouse and slowly you open them to finally let your shirt slide off your shoulders. You move your hands to your back and you open the clasp of your bra to also let that fall to the ground so that your breasts are bared and Tom sucks in a breath of air when your hands cup your breasts. Tom's eyes flicker up and look at you, you smile reassuringly at him and you nod and suddenly you feel his hand slip under yours. Slowly you lower your hands and you place them on the counter.

"Are you sure?" he whispers.

"Yes, taste me."

His fingers gently start massaging your breast and eventually he exercises a little pressure and there appears a small drop of milk on your nipple. Tom licks his lips and slowly leans forward, getting closer and when you feel his hot breath on your skin your breath hitches in your throat, Tom exercises some more pressure and the drop becomes slightly larger and when his tongue washes over your nipple you groan at the same time.

You look down, how Tom squeezes your breast and eagerly sucks the milk inside. Your fingers disappear into his hair and you tug on his curls making him look at you. He swallows some milk before he smiles around your nipple and his lips detach from your skin but his tongue keeps washing over it. The sight is erotic and more sensually than you thought and you bite your lip.

"So sweet." he moans against your breast.

One last squeeze and suck and he comes up, some milk still clinging to his thin lips and he claims your lips in a fiery kiss while his fingers keep massasing your breast. You taste yourself and you must admit that it does taste good en you lick the milk off his lips before you take his fingers, now covered in milk and you suck them into your mouth, letting your tongue swirl around every one. When you are done he pulls them back and your eyes meet again.

"Delicious is it not?" he smiles.

"There is more." you say challenging.


	85. chapter 81

Tom grins and ducks his head back down to suck your breast again and you moan and put your head against the cupboard when you feel the milk flowing from your nipple because of the power of his suction, aided by his massaging fingers. The feel of the pulsation of the milk creates a bubbling arousal in your stomach that flows slowly towards your southern regions and you squirm on the counter.

"Tom ..." your breath.

"Yes, darling?"

"I want you."

"Does it turn you on?"

"Yes."

"Me too."

He takes your hand and leads it to his throbbing cock and you squeeze it gently.

"Fuck." he curses.

Without leaving your breast he opens his pants and pulls his cock out, he draws you to the edge of the counter and while you tilt your hips up he lets his hard cock slowly slip inside.

"Oh god." you groan.

Tom lays your legs around his hips and locks your ankles on his back, for a moment he detaches his lips from your nipple and he lifts you up to lay you on the table. You lie back and immediately he takes your nipple into his mouth to suck and he rocks his hips forward, penetrating you deeply, your fingers slip into his hair and your free hand massages your other breast and starts to play with your nipple.

"Do not waste the milk from that nipple, it's too fucking delectable, I want that too."

You nod vigorously and arch your back from the table when he switches breast and latches his lips to the other, sucking that with vigor too. When he shoves his cock inside you with a powerful thrust, the table scrapes over the ground and you moan.

"Fuck, I'm close." he gasps.

Tom thrust a couple of times hard and deep and together you reach your climax, panting heavely you slowly drift back to earth and gently he helps you sit upright and he gathers you against him.

"Wow, that was....unexpected."

"Yeah, it was."he chuckles and kisses your head.

 

When the sun is warmer you buckle the baby carrier on Tom and he gently lowers his daughter into it. Before you did that, you first packed a bag with some things for Lucy and in case you run into a beautiful clearing, a white bottle of wine and some sandwiches for you. The last thing you grab is the blanket that lies on the couch so you can sit on it. 

The weather is lovely and you and Tom wander through the woods for some hours until Lucy starts to whine a little, indicating she needs her bottle. Right about the same time you stumble upon a clearing and while Tom carefully gets his daughter out off the baby carrier you lay the blanket on the ground and take Lucy's bottle. Tom goes sitting cross-legged on the ground and lays Lucy on his arm so he can give her the bottle and you pour two glasses of wine for you and Tom. When Lucy had her bottle Tom lays her down on the blanket and tickles her belly making her giggle with delight. You smile and then you give Tom his glass of wine and together you toast on the greatest happiness in your lives, your daughter.

"How long are you staying?"

"Untill tomorrow morning, when you have to return to the set our plane leaves."

"Until then we are all alone?"

"Yes, I have agreed with Rodney that he stays away this weekend."

"I'm going to buy two bottles of champagne for him." Tom says and you laugh.

"I still can't believe how much my life has changed, just a year ago I lived alone in York and now ..... now I'm married to the love of my life and we have a beautiful daughter. Just because you walked into my house that night and.... "you suddenly stop talking and you look away.

"What is it?"

"I was just .... I was thinking," you say and look at him,"if the Donmar didn't had that water damage, would you still have come to me?"

"Yes, even without the water damage I would have came to you to tell you that I wanted you in my life, it only would have taken a bit longer but I was determined to tell you what I felt for you. I wanted to travel back to London that same evening, alone, and would give you time to think about what I said and would leave it up to you to come to me when you were ready. I even considered the possibility that you would reject me and that if you did, I could have ruined our friendship and could have lost you forever and that would have killed me but I just had to try. And you had the right to know, but once I was with you I couldn't leave, I did not wanted to leave. It was so good to see you again that evening, it felt so good to be with you and when I saw the way you reacted to my touch on your skin, the way you shivered under it I got this sliver of hope that you would return my feelings but when I saw and read that scrapbook about myself I knew for sure."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, and when I kisses you, it felt like every piece of the puzzle fell into place and I can in all honestly say that the last eleven months with you by my side have been the happiest of my life."

"I was really overwhelmed by your visit and your confession but I am so grateful for that evening. I never would have had the guts to take the first step."

"Why not?"

"Come on, Tom, you can get the most beautiful woman in the world...."

"And I did," he says, lacing his fingers with yours while you look away blushing but Tom tugs your hand gently, making you look at him,"she is sitting here right in front of my as my wife and the mother of my child."

"The same goes for me, Tom, I never could have guessed my wildest dream would one day be reality but it is and I am living my dreamlife and I have you to thank for that, so thank you."

"You are most welcome." he says.

You drink your wine and when the galsses are empty he pulls you towards him and you go sit astride him, you lips find each other in an intense kiss and your fingers slip into his hair. His hands go up and down over your back and eventually they slip under your shirt to caress your bare skin and you shiver under his touch. When you break the kiss you sigh longingly and his lips attach themselves to your neck while you lay your head in your neck and you arch your back. Suddenly you think you hear something and you look around you while Tom is busy kissing your neck.

"Tom ..." you say.

"Hmm ..."

"Tom, stop." you say and gently push him away.

"What is it?" he says and looks at you.

"I thought I heard something."

"Lucy?"

"No, like someone stepped on a twig."

"Darling, there's nobody here, Rodney comes here often and he has never came across anyone."

"Are you sure?" you ask, not convinced.

"Very sure, it was probably an animal."

When he bites your skin you moan softly and close your eyes, thinking that Tom is probably right but when you hear it again Tom stops kissing you and looks around.

"Let's go back." your suggest.

"Okay."

By the time you are back in the house it is at the end of the afternoon, you try to enjoy your time together but can't forget what happened in the forest and while Tom is playing with Lucy in front of the fire place, you walk to the doors leading to the porch and you open them. You walk to the edge of the porch and take the railing with your hands while you look at the forest.

"You okay?" you suddenly hear Tom ask.

"Yes fine." you say.

"No secrets, remember?"

You turn around and smile at what you see, Tom leaning against the doorway, Lucy in his arms, her small head resting against his chest while her blue eyes are focussed on you. You put away your glass and lay your arms around you and you lean against the railing.

"I can't get what I heard this afternoon out of my mind."

"It was probably just an animal, darling." Tom says, and he walks towards you.

"And what if it was not an animal but a person and what if that person was a photographer and took pictures of us." you say.

You look at your daughter before you sigh deeply and turn around to grab the railing again, and you close your eyes.

"And what if it was?"

"Then those pictures will undoubtedly show up on the Internet or some magazine."

"And what will they see, then?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that they will see a man who shares an intimate moment with his wife, nothing shocking about that."

"No, that's true,"you say,"but what about Lucy? What if they took a picture of her too, she is only three weeks, Tom."

"I know, but when they do use a picture of her we will cross that bridge when we get there okay? Come back inside, it's cold out here and nice and warm in there before the fire." 

He laces his fingers with yours and you let him take you back inside and while you give Lucy the bottle later Tom makes dinner ready. When Lucy her bottle is empty and she has let out a burp you walk into the kitchen and you are pleasantly surprised by the delicious smell.

"Hmm, what are you making?"

"Oh, some rice with chicken and sauce and salad."

"It smells delicious."

"It's nothing special, if I'd known you were coming I'd done some grocerie shopping."

"Do you have time to bring Lucy to bed together?"

"Of course," he says, and turn the heat down and then he takes his daughter from you,"hey darling, come to daddy."

You smile while Tom takes his daughter and tickles her tummy and she starts waving her arms. He walks into the bedroom and you follow them and look on as Tom puts her in her cradle, flanked by Loki and De Li. You are standing at the foot of the bed and watch how Tom leans forward and gives his daughter a kiss on her forehead.

"I do not have time to sing for you, so you owe me one, okay?"

Lucy coos something and when you have also given her a kiss Tom laces your fingers and you walk into the kitchen but halfway you stop and he looks at you.

"If you continue with cooking than I put on something more comfortable." you say.

"Oh, I like the sound of that." Tom says.

He leans towards you and gives you a kiss and before you know it, hands wander and the kiss deepens, his arms slip around your waist and he pulls you up against him while yours move into his hair and you tug his curls making him moan into your mouth.

"I'll be right back."

You walk into the bedroom to get dressed and open the closet door, in which you hanged your clothes to prevent them from wrinkling, when you suddenly see something red, you frown your eyebrows, you don't remember having something red with you. You let your finger move over it and to your surprise, it is a soft fabric and when you slide the clothes away your breath falters in your throat. It is a slip, and not just some slip, it is a red lacy thong and you also see a matching red lacy bra. You shake your head and close your eyes, take a deep breath in and out and then you look at the bra and thong again. You take a few steps back until you are standing against the wall, trying to find a logical explanation for why there is lingerie hanging in Tom's bedroom closet that isn't yours and when you feel a hand on your cheek you recoil.

"Y/N?"

You step out of his reach and continue to walk away from him while Tom looks at you surprised.

"What is it?" he asks.

He sets a step in your direction but you turn around and want to walk away but Tom takes your hand and turns you around. His mouth opens but your the one to speak first.

"Who is she?"

"Who is who?"

"The woman who owns that lingerie?" you say, pointing to the red lingerie and Tom follows your finger with his eyes.

"Lizzy must have forgot them..."

"Lizzy? As is Elizabeth Olsen? Who plays your wife?"

"Darling I can explain..."

"Don't bother, I don't want to hear it."

You try to run away but Tom grabs your wrist and stops you.

"No wait, she was here one evening, to rehease our lines and...."

"And you decided to rehease the sex scene's too? You do after all play husband and wife so it has to be believable for the audience, right?"

"What? No, no, darling, that's not...I didn't...."

You give Tom a shove and because he is still somewhat overwhelmed by your accusation he staggers backwards so you can run and you hear Tom calling your name. Right before you run into Lucy's bedroom he grabs your hand and spins you around.

"Y/N, listen to me..."

"Let me go, Tom,"you say, trying to get free but his grip tightens around your wrist,"your hurting me."

Before he can say or do anything you slap him in the face making his grip slacken and you push him away before you run into Lucy's bedroom and lock the door, you look at the handle and see how Tom raddles it in an attempt to get in but you walk away backwards.

"Y/N open the door, please! I can explain!"

Because you and Tom are talking with raised voices Lucy started crying and you turn to face her.

"It's okay, honey, it's okay," you lift her up and press her against you,"mommy is here."

You press your face into her neck and rock her back and forth in an attempt to get her still but without success. You look at the door where Tom is still standing behind talking to you.

"Tom, shut up, you're making Lucy upset." you say.

When it remains quiet, you look at the door, you see Tom's silhouette through the glass when he lets himself fall against the wall and he slides to the ground. You hesitate, bite your lip and put a step towards him, and another one but then you see the lingerie-set in your mind and you shake your head. You look around you and see the balcony doors and suddenly the thought comes up to just run. But it's already beginning to get dark, and had Tom not said that the next neighbors live kilometers away? What if you get lost in the woods? You sigh deeply and look at Lucy, who has now stopped crying but still sobs softly and you put her back in the cradle. Tom is still quite, after you have carefully put a few steps towards the door, you see through the ground glass that Tom is still sitting against the wall. You sit down too on the other side and pull your legs up to lay your arms around them and your head on it. Suddenly you're tired, so tired, and you close your eyes for a moment.

 

When you open them again and sit up your back protests and you realize you must have fallen asleep. Your stomach rumbles too, you come up and look through the ground glass of the door, Tom is still there and when you softly open the door you see that he has fell aside a little and is sleeping. His back in an unnatural position and for a short moment, you tend to let him lie and to sneak into the kitchen but in the end you sit down on your knees in front of him. You lay your hand against his cheek and he immediately responds to you. He shoots up and grabs your hand with his. Your startled by it and recoil so you end up against the wall opposite him. Your breathing is heavy and your eyes wide and Tom, how much he would like to take you into his arms, stays put.

"You, uh....you should not sleep like that, that's not good for your back, you have to be on set early, you need to lie in bed."

"Not without you." he says firmly.

"Tom..."

"No, listen to me," he reaches for your hand, but you pull them away and he stops, "do you remember what I told you the night before our wedding day? What you reminded me of on my last night at home before I here came?"

"Yes."

"Okay, listen to me, please." he said pleadingly.

You bite your lip and nod slowly.

"Okay," he says, and sits down on his knees in front of you,"a week or so ago, in the evening, Lizzy and I were reheasing. There was wine and at the end of the evening Lizzy had drunk so much that she could barely walk so she decided to stay here. She took my bedroom because that is closest to the living room, I slept on the couch, I swear."

You let what he said sink in and suddenly you begin to cry, Tom's face falls, thinking you do not believe him and he carefully moves closer to you and you allow that he takes your hand.

"Darling, you have to believe me, that night when I came to your apartment, when we made love and then lying in each other's arms, it felt like I was finally coming home, you are my home, my life, you're all that I could ever want for in a woman and so much more. You and Lucy are my world, I would never risk losing that."

"I know." you sob.

"You do?"

"Yes, of course I do, I know you would never cheat on me with another woman."

"Oh, well, that's good," he says, and you hear the confusion in his voice, "then why ..."

"Because, Tom," you take a deep breath and clasp his hand in yours,"I know there are a lot of women out there that would do anything to be in my place and I also know that some of them don't care about the fact that you have a wife or a daughter so when I saw that..that..," you hiccup through your tears and sigh deeply.

"Do you remember that night in the theater when you came to live with me in London? I told you that since the day I met you in York, I have not shared a bed with any women because of you, I meant that, for two years I have rejected every woman who approached me, for you, even though we were not even together.... but every time one of those women would come to me I saw your face in front of me, I heard your voice, and that held me back. Even then I knew deep down inside me that you were the one for me. My heart already belonged to you then and it will always belong to only you and so will I."

"I just wouldn't know what I would do if someone would ever try to take you away from me, I would not know how to live without you." 

You almost whisper the last words, thinking about a life without Tom in it rattles you more than you thought and he lays his finger under your chin and lifts your face to look at you.

"No one is going to take me away from you and you will never have to do without me in your life, I promis I'm not going anywhere, come here," Tom says and his hand cups your cheek and his arm circles your waist so that he can pull you astride his lap and your hands come to rest on his chest,"when I made you my wife, I made you a vow in front of our family and friends and there is nothing and I mean absolutely nothing that can make me break that vow to you."

"You mean that?" you say softly while playing with his buttons.

"From the bottom of my heart, darling."

You just sit like that for awhile, looking at each other and eventually you lay your hand against his cheek, thumb stroking his cheekbone and slowly making a path to his lips. Tom lays his larger hand on top of yours and moves it to his mouth to place a kiss there.

"It's you and me, forever. Hold on."

He slowly sits up on his knees so he can lay your legs around his waist and you lock your ancles behind his back and with you in his arms, he slowly stands up. His hands move up and down over your back while your head lies on his shoulder and he takes you to the bedroom but halfway your stomach begins to rumble and he halts in his movement.

"I'm sorry about the food." you mumble.

"That's okay,"he says and kisses your forehead while he continues on to the bedroom,"how about I take you to bed first and then I'll warm it up so we can eat in bed?"

"Okay."

He walks with you into the bedroom, lays you on the bed and presses a kiss on your lips before he walks away but when he comes back your already under the blanket and your almost asleep, you feel the bed behind you dip and an arm around your waist but before he can pull you against him, you turn around and crawl against him as close as you can.

"I'm really sorry, Tom...." you whisper.

"Shh, it's alright, I understand why you reacted the way you did, if I came across a boxer in your closet that wasn't mine I would go insane and demand you to tell me who he is so I can kill him," he says and kisses the top of your head,"go to sleep."

The fingers of one hand move over your back and the fingers of the other cup the back of your head to tuck it under his chin.


	86. chapter 82

When you wake up the next morning it is still early, the morning sun shining inside through the curtains and you look at Tom who is still asleep. You support your head with your hand and you just look at him for a moment. You think back to the previous night and what you accused him of, you curse yourself for that, you know Tom would never in his life cheat on you with some other woman but when you saw that lingerie in his closet, in his bedroom that monster called insecurity and jealousy raised his head and you just couldn't help it. 

You know very well you are not the only woman who has dreamed of being in his life as his lover, his wife, the mother of his children and that some women, like you said last night, don't let themselves be stopped by the fact that he is married and a father now and you don't trust them but you should have trusted Tom, you should have trusted him to stay faithfull to you, to honor your marriage and to stay true to you, he has said that so many times to you and he showed it just as many times too, when your pregnancy went so difficult, the cramps and the throwing up, how sweet and loving and caring he was with you doing everything he could to take away your pain, even getting out of bed in the middle of the night to support you while you were throwing up and staying with you even though he had to be up early again the next morning, how much effort he put in winning your heart back again after your accident in Toronto on the set. 

Your free hand reaches out to him and you lightly caress his cheek and Tom turns his face towards the touch but does not wake up. Cautiously you slide closer to him and place a leg over his, you lean forward and kiss his neck a few times. Slowly you straddle him and your lips kiss a path down to his nipples where you gently tug on and Tom groans beneath you. You lower yourself further and your tongue makes a track to the waistband of his boxer and you nuzzle his erection before you inhale. You smell his scent, natural and also musky and suddenly you have an intense desire to take him in your mouth, but before you can do that his fingers slip in your hair.

"Y/N...."

"Please, I want you in my mouth." you say.

You can hear him groan at the thought and without thinking too much about it you slide his boxer over his hips and you lick one long line from the base to the tip and you swallow him right away.

"Fuck." Tom says.

His hips come up from the bed and his fingers grip your hair. Your tongue caresses the base of his shaft before it moves up and slips through the slit and you push his foreskin away to lick his frenulum.

"Oh, god, yes ...."

You concentrate fully on his most sensitive spot before curling your fingers around the base and your tongue licks a path down and when you lick his balls Tom breathes out a laugh.

"That tickles."

You smile around him before licking a way up and eventually he disappears between your lips. You move up and down while you remain fondling his balls and when he rocks his hips up and his breathing becomes short and quick, you know that he is close and you let him slip out of your mouth and you hear a frustrating sigh escape from his lips. You kiss your way up and end at the spot behind his ear that you kiss before you put your lips close to his ear.

"Sorry I did not let you cum, but I have a good reason for that." you say.

"Care to elaborate?"

"I want you inside me when you cum." you whisper.

Tom lets his fingers slip into your hair and turns your head.

"You want me to fuck you?" he says, and you shiver at his words,"say the magic words."

"Please fuck me, Thomas." you purr into his ear.

Tom kisses you intense on your lips before he turns you on your back and nestles himself between your legs. He lets one of his hands slide down over your body and hitches your leg over his hip while he is rotating his hips and places his erection against your slit. He rolls his hips forward and slowly inches his way deeper and deeper within you. When he is completely inside you, he begins to slowly thrust and every so often he swivels his hips and touches your innermost little spot and every time you feel an electric shock go through your body. The rhythm remains slow, with long and deep strokes, one hand disappears under your buttocks to push you up against him with every inward thrust and his other hand grasps the edge of the headboard. The tempo goes up but the thrusts remain deep and his tip touches your bundle of joy more often too. When your climax approaches you spread your legs further and he slides deeper inside making you both moan and when you fall over the edge, you fist the blanket in your hand when Tom begins to thrust harder, you know that he chases his own orgasm. You look at him, fingers still curled around the headboard and when he reaches his peak he lays his head back and his mouth opens in a perfect 'o' while his thrusts falter. Finally, he lays his head in your neck, breathing heavily and hips still jerking with aftershocks. Your arms go around his waist and you pull him tight against you. You kiss his neck softly and you feel him shiver in your arms, making you smile against his skin.

"I love you." you whisper.

"I love you too, darling." he answers.

 

When it is time to leave Tom helps you pack the suitcases and because he has to leave early, he already places them onto the porch. Because it is quite chilly outside you stand inside with Lucy in your arms when he comes walking over to you. He puts his arms around you and Lucy and kisses his daughter on her head.

"Even though it was for just two days, I'm glad I've seen you, thank you for coming."

"You're welcome honey."

Tom smiles and caresses your cheek before he leans forward and gives you a kiss.

"Why do you not see of you can find yourself a beautiful, elegant yet sexy dress? For the awards?"

"Do you have a preference? Short or long, color ...?"

"No, as long as you are in it." he says.

"Okay, I'll look around."

"I'll let you know when I land, okay?"

"Okay, I'll see you over four long weeks."

One last long, deep kiss before Tom goes to his car and drives away. The long trip home takes place without too many problems, and when you're back home monday night you come home into a dark and empty house. After you've given Lucy a clean diaper you put her in her cradle and then you go to bed yourself. But first you send Tom a text message to say that you are safe at home.

The following week goes by fairly calm, Sharon is with you a lot and your neighbors regularly come by too. During that period, your relationship with Amelia is also getting stronger and soon you visit each other on a daily basis, sometimes she comes to you and other days you go to her. This also ensures that little Anna and Lucy are together a lot and it does not take long before Lucy recognizes her, every time she sees her she starts to coo with pleasure and during those times you also see some little changes with Lucy. Where she first didn't have more than a fifteen minutes of attention for something you notice that she now show much more interest, not only for watching cartoons on TV but also for what you're doing. She follows you when you walk across the room, she can lift her head when she lies on her back and her legs are also lying straighter, and her fingers are spread apart more. She also starts to point and sometimes you think you see her smile.

When one afternoon you're drinking tea with Amelia while Anna is playing with Lucy on the floor when you hear the little girl suddenly say your name and you look up.

"Look what she can do!"

You see Anna holding up her fingers in front of Lucy and she immediately grabs them firmly, carefully Anna draws her hands towards herself, and your eyes get wide when you see that she pulls Lucy up completely until she sits upright.

"Oh my God, that's amazing." you say laughing and Anna looks at you over her shoulder, also laughing.

"Let her go." Amelia says.

You look at her thoughtfully but she nods reassuringly and when Anna loosens her fingers carefully from Lucy's grip she leans forward slightly with her upper body but she stays upright. You Amelia and Anna laugh and when Lucy gets a smile on her face you stand up and lift her up.

"You're such a smart girl." you say.

You kiss her forehead and Lucy moves her arms back and forth while the smile stays on her face.

"I can not wait to show it to Tom." you say.

Suddenly you become emotional and you sob making Lucy look at you and her smile disappears from her face but before you can do anything she starts crying.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, sweetie." you say and kiss her cheek.

Amelia gets up and walks towards you, she lays a hand on your back and rubs it back and forth.

"It makes sense that you miss Tom on these moments." she says.

"And while it is not even that very special."

Amelia smiles and keeps rubbing your back while you suddenly see real tears coming from Lucy's eyes.

"The water tubes also work." Amelia says smiling and she tickles the belly of the girl but it does not help and Lucy keeps crying.

"She must have her bottle." you say.

Amelia and Anna say goodbye to you and while Lucy empties her bottle you wipe her tears away and after the bottle you give her a bath and a clean diaper. When you have Tom on Skype that evening and you do the same thing with Lucy what Anna did previously he reacts like a real father; proud. Even when you let go of her and she remains sitting up, you see a sparkle in his eyes, when he praises and speaks to her, she smiles at him, again something he has not seen before.

"She is smiling at me." he says.

"Yes, she did that this afternoon too." you say.

"I am missing so much." he sighs.

"I know, I hope that you're here when she begins to walk and talk."

"When is that?"

"Usually around their first year."

"October then."

"Yes, but if you're not here, I will make a film for you."

"Thank you."

After you have put Lucy in her cradle you talk some more with Tom before you also say goodbye and go to bed. Lucy only needs her bottle once during the night so you get a lot more sleep and at the beginning of the third week, you indicate that Sharon does not have to come by every day anymore and you agree she will only come by on Tuesday and Thursday to help. Tuesday you decide to go shopping with Emma for a dress for you while Sharon stays with Lucy and Oakley.

You find it difficult to find the right dress, every dress misses something and after a few hours Emma pulls you into a coffeehouse.

"First coffee," she says, "and a piece of apple pie with whipped cream."

"Oh, that sounds wonderful." you sigh.

Ten minutes later you sit with a hot cup of coffee and a generous piece of apple pie in front of you.

"How was it in Shreveport?" Emma asks.

"Great," you say, smiling, "it was really great to see Tom again and to give him some time with Lucy."

"He must have been over the moon to see you."

"Yes, he was very happy, we really took full advantage of the time that we had."

"How did he react to your costumes?"

"He found Lucy really lovely in her costume, and he could also appreciate my costume." you say, blushing.

Emma laughs and sips her coffee.

"I believe that right away." she says.

Suddenly you frown your forehead and pick a piece of apple on your fork before you swipe it through the whipped cream and put it in your mouth.

"What is it?" Emma asks.

You smile and shake your head, you know that it is useless to say nothing, Emma knows you too well.

"I found a lingerie set in Tom's closet in his bedroom."

"That man with who he is living ..."

"Rodney, no, he has no wife or children in his house so ...."

"What did he gave as an explanation?"

"Well, before he could do that I accused him of cheating on me with another woman."

"Excuse me, you did what?"

"I know, it was stupid of me."

"Yes, it was."

"And when he said that the set belonged to Elizabeth Olsen, I completely freaked out."

"Who is that?"

"She plays his wife in the movie I saw the Light. He said that she was with him to practice their lines one evening and I hurled at his head that they probably also practiced the sex scenes, making it more believable for the audience."

"My god, y/n, you know how much Tom loves you, he would never cheat on you with someone else."

"I know that so when I had calmed down I have made him my apologies. He also reminded me of something he has said to me on my first night here, when I went to live with him."

"What was that?"

"That in the two years that he knew me, he has not touched a woman intimately. He just couldn't."

"Even when you were not together, he was already faithful to you."

"Yes."

"And now you are married and have a beautiful daughter you accuse him of it." Emma says disapprovingly.

"I know it was stupid, Emma ..." you say and look at her but she smiles at you and you smile too,"finish your pie so we can continue shopping."

Once you've eaten the pie you walk back to the shopping area and after an hour you hang walk into a shop where you see a dress that is perfect. You walk right towards it and pick it out of the rack to hold it before you.

"Oh y/n, that is magnificent."

"Yes I know."

"Try it."

You walk into the dressing room and change clothes and when you come out and you look at yourself in the mirror you smile.

"This is the one." you say.

"An excellent choice, madam," you hear and you turn around to see a salesman come walking towards you, "it looks great on you."

"Thank you."

"Is it for a party?" he asks.

"Yeah, something like that yes."

"And such a beauty as yourself is not going alone, I assume." the man says, complimenting you and you're blushing slightly.

"No, but my husband has several suits at home but maybe I should buy a purple shirt for him."

"That seems like a good choice, I always think it is lovely when a couple is wearing the same color, leaves no doubt about the fact that they are devoted to each other."

"That's true." you say.

"While you change clothes, I will search for a shirt for you, what is the measure of your husband?"

You give him the size and as he walks away you find yourself looking in the mirror again, it is a purple dress with a asymmetrical neckline, a cut out back with a very high slit on the side and it has shimmering straps on the back. Your eyes go back to the slit, which almost reaches your thigh and you frown.

"What is it?"

"In the slit not too high?"

"Oh, I'm sure that Tom can appreciate it."

"Yes, I'm sure about that too," you laugh, "but still ..."

"A purple shirt, madam."

"Thank you."

"May I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"Does your husband own a blue suit?"

"Hm, no, only black and gray and some stripe suits, but not blue, I think."

"Of course it is my personal opinion but I have been doing this for more then twenty years and a purple shirt is best worn under a blue suit and if you are who I think you are, the suit will also bring out your husbands eyes. And maybe you can get a blue jacket, when it gets chilly."

You look at Emma but she raises her eyebrows and leaves the choice up to you. Ultimately, you agree with the seller and after you changed clothes you seek a blue suit for Tom and a blue jacket for you and you choose a transparent blue bolero with long sleeves and ruffles at the edges so the shimmering on your back remains visable. 

Once you and Emma walk outside your stomach rumbles and Emma looks at you.

"Shall we go take a bite to eat?" she suggests.

"Sure, but I want to call Sharon first, ask how it goes."

"Okay."

You grab your phone and call Sharon to hear that there are no problems, she just gave Lucy her bottle and she's in the box. You tell her that you're going to eat something with Emma and whether she can stay a little longer and luckily that is no problem. It eventually is two hours later before you get home and when you walk into the living room you smile. Sharon is sleeping on the couch, Oakley beside her and he points his head up when he hears you. You put your finger on your lips quickly that he must be quiet and softly he comes off the couch and he walks towards you. You go through your knees to pat him.

"Hey, boy." you whisper.

You press a kiss on his head and then you walk to the couch to give Sharon a light push and she immediately sits up.

"Oh, okay, calm down, it's just me." you say.

"Oh, y/n," she says and yawns, "I must have fallen asleep."

"That's okay, thank you so much for staying longer."

"Of course, I put Lucy in her cradle an hour ago and she fell asleep right away."

"Thank you, go home, Sharon."

"Okay, see you Tuesday." she says.

"Till Tuesday."

When Sharon is gone you walk upstairs and into Lucy's nursery, the girl is sleeping and you smile. Your startled when suddenly your phone goes and Lucy wakes up and starts crying instantly. Quickly you pull off your jacket and lift your daughter.

"It's okay, it's just the phone, sweetheart."

You lay Lucy against your chest and gently rub over her back, you look down and see that her tears are wetting your shirt and you press a kiss on her head. Your phone is still ringing and you look on the screen, Tom. You had completely forgotten your daily Skype meeting with him and quickly pick up.

"Tom,..."

"Y/N? Are you okay? You were not online, and after ten minutes I was worried. Is that Lucy? Why is she crying? Is she okay?"

Tom rattles on and on and you hear the concern for his daughter in his voice.

"Tom, calm down, everything is okay and your daughter is crying because she was asleep and was startled by the phone." you say.

"Oh, oh!.... I'm sorry, I did not mean ..."

"I know, it does not matter. And I was not online because Emma and I bought a dress for the awards and then had something to eat. I had completely forgotten about the time, it's my fault."

You try to hold the phone while comforting Lucy who is still crying but it costs you trouble.

"How long do you have?"

"Forty-five minutes."

"Is it all right if I first try to calm down Lucy? I will come online after."

"Okay, see you soon, darling."

"See you soon."

After you have hung up you give Lucy your full attention, you whisper comforting words to her and rub her back while walking back and forth across the room, slowly cradling her in your arms. When she is finally calmer you put her back into her cradle between Loki and De Li before you walk into your bedroom and start up the laptop. You walk back to the nursery and when you look in the cradle Lucy is sleeping again and you smile. You walk back to your bedroom and quickly pull your nightclothes on before you start Skype and Tom appears on the screen.

"Hey you." he says.

"Hey you, back."

"Is Lucy okay?"

"Yes, she is fine, it just took longer before she was quiet and stopped crying," you say and sigh deeply, "I have the idea that the last weeks she does cry less but the times when she cries are longer and more violent. "

"Why is that?"

"I've looked around on the Internet, and it seems that during this period, the baby still can not properly handle all these impressions around it and the result is that she gets upset, sometimes cries more and longs back for his most familiar place: the safe, warm womb. Around this age, babies seek more body contact and attention, they are restless, they sleep poorer, they cry more, etc. Like I said they long back to the safety and security they had in the womb so when they act like this it's very important to give them that feeling of safety and security and it is advised to pick them up and give them as much body-contact as you want."

"So it will pass?"

"Yeah it should, no idea when though." you smile.

"Did I hear you say that you bought a dress?" he says, and you see the sparkle in his eyes.

"Yes, I have a dress and no, I'm not putting it on for you."

"Hold it up then, so I have an idea."

"Okay, be right back."

You get up from the bed and walk to the closet to grab it and when you hold the purple dress and blue jacket up a pleased sounds comes from your laptop.

"I think it's gorgeous, elegant and stylish." he says.

"And sexy." you say and show him the long slit on the side.

"Wow, that is really high."

"Too high?" you ask and you sound uncertain.

"No, not at all, everyone will be jealous of me because I have the most beautiful, sexy woman at my side."

"I also bought a new suit for you, a blue one and a purple shirt."

"I like it when we wear the same colors." Tom says.

"Yeah?" you ask as you put away the clothes and lie down again.

"Yes, makes it clear that you belong with me."

"And you with me," you say, "you already know what time your plane lands?"

"No, I will try to be with you and Lucy in the afternoon so we have some time to spend together."

"Okay, let me know."

"I will, I'll see you Saturday, darling."

"Until Saturday, honey."


	87. chapter 83

Once you have disconnected you suddenly realize you miss him terribly, you sigh and get up to walk to the closet, your fingers slide over his shirts and they come to rest on a soft blue shirt. You pull it from the hanger and pull it on over your top and shorts, you look at yourself in the mirror and smile. You've always loved to wear his clothes, it gives you a sense of safety and security and of course you can smell his scent so it also makes it seem as if he's with you.   
The rest of the week you pull his shirt on every night and you also use his pillow to sleep on and when he let's you know on Saturday that he will land at the end of the afternoon you're a little disappointed, you had hoped that he would land sooner, giving you a little more time together. You asked if Diana and James want to look after Lucy and because it is the first time that Lucy is fed and brought to bed without you it seems the best to do it in her own familiar surroundings, especially now that she needs familiar things around her. 

Because the gazebo is really too small for two people you give them a guest bedroom and while James and Diana entertain themselves with their granddaughter you change clothes and as you doing your make up your phone goes and you smiles when you see Tom's name in the screen. 

"Where are you?" you say and you hear him chuckle. 

"Well, it's good to hear you too, darling." he says. 

"Sorry, I just miss you." 

"I miss you too. I'm at the airport, I am with you in fifteen minutes." 

"Get your sexy ass over here so we still have a few minutes together with Lucy."   
"I will do my best, see you soon." 

"See you soon." 

After the finishing touch you walk into the bedroom and you decide to lay Tom's suit ready before you walk down the stairs and into the room. James and Diana are sitting on the sofa playing with Lucy who is clearly amused and you smile when you walk into the room making them both look up. 

"Wow, you look stunning, y/n." 

"Thank you." 

When Lucy sees you she stretches her arms out to you and you take her in your arms. "Are you going to be a good little granddaughter? Drink all your bottle and go to sleep without to much of a fuss?" Lucy looks at you with her big blue eyes and you kiss her forehead while walking across the room with her when suddenly the door opens and Tom stands in the hall. He wears faded jeans, hoodie and boots and when he sees you with your daughter in your arms he stops mid-step, clearly impressed by your appearance. 

"God you are so breathtakingly beautiful." He breaths out. 

You laugh and walk towards him to kiss him while Lucy excitedly reaches her arms out to him, making happy noises when seeying her father again, Tom smiles and he takes Lucy from you and gives her a kiss. 

"Did you miss me? I sure did miss you, my sweet angel." 

After he quickly gives you another kiss he greets his parents and after he has given Lucy to you again he runs up the stairs with his backpack to shower himself and to change clothes. While Tom is gone you sit down with Lucy on your lap and look at Diana and James. 

"So, how is living together going?" 

"Good, better than I expected actually," Diana says and smiles, "we give each other space and we both have our own bedroom but next to that we do everything together." 

"I think it's so nice that you slowly find your way back to each other again." 

"I meant what I said that night," James says, "I am grateful every day that I may be a grandfather for that little miracle." 

You look at Lucy, who is busy sucking Loki's hand and you laugh. 

"What's so funny?" Tom hear you ask. 

You look at him and your breath falters in your throat when you see him, the suit looks amazing on him and you get up and walk towards him. 

"No tie?" he asks. 

"No, no tie which means," you say, and reach for his buttons, "that the first two buttons should be open." 

Tom smiles while you loosen the first two buttons and then he gives you a kiss when you turn you see two proud parents. 

"You really look like the perfect family like that, all dressed up and so beautiful. I want to take a picture." Diana says. 

You smile and when Diana has made a picture you give Lucy to Tom so that he has a few minutes to cuddle and play with his daughter, letting him making up for the time he had to miss with her and finally he gives his daughter to Diana and you take leave of them. While you and Tom approach the car, he places his hand on your lower back and he leans towards you. 

"You really look ravishing and if my parents have not been here, I would have pushed you up against the wall and fucked you so hard ...." he whispers in your ear. 

You smile at him while he opens the car door for you and when you're in the car you look at him mischievously. 

"Well, if you win that award, I may have a reward for you so you can collect right away." 

"Really? In the Palladium? You promise?" he asks. 

"Sure, maybe after you've received it and before the interviews with the press."   
"We will not have much time." Tom says and starts the car and drives away. 

"I know, but as you have said once, I'm very good with my lips and tongue." you say. Tom looks at you and at that time you lick your lips slowly, ending with a bite on your lowerlip and Tom moans softly. 

"You're such a tease." 

You laugh and Tom looks at the road ahead of him and when you arrive the car doors are opened for you and you step out and while waiting for Tom, you look at the media, they stand behind a barrier and you soon realize that there are no interviews being taken. Before you step on the red carpet you feel Tom's arm sliding around your waist and he pulls you close against him. Near the entrance a man organising the event walks towards you to indicate where you have to pose for the media and while they take your picture Tom leans towards you a little. 

"Are you okay?" he asks. 

"Yeah, why?" you ask. 

"I don't know, you seem a little off and I felt you shivering." 

"You did? Sorry." you say. 

"That's okay." 

When your photos are taken you walk away and you smile when you feel how Tom moves his arm from your waist to around your shoulders and presses a kiss on your temple. 

"Just promis me that if you want me to take you home, you tell me." he whispers in your ear 

"I will." 

Then you suddenly you see Sophie and Ben, they also see you and smile and you talk a little bit with each other. 

"Excuse me," someone says,"the media would like to take photos of Ben and Tom together." 

Tom and Ben walk to the marked spot and let the media take their pictures while you and Sophie remain on the sidelines. You are looking at the men and farrow your brows 

"What is it?" Sophie asks. 

"I don't know, it's just ....Tom looks so pale suddenly." 

"Hasn't he always been a bit pale?" 

"Yes he has, maybe it's also because of the light a little." 

"When did he land?" 

"An hour and a half ago, after he got home, he only had time to shower and dress and play a bit with Lucy." 

"It's a long flight from Shreveport, it's probably jetlag." 

"Yeah, and he has to leave again tomorrow evening." you sigh. 

"Just make sure he get's enough sleep and that he get's a good meal inside him before you let him go." 

"I will." you say smiling. 

After the media is satisfied you walk inside and are met by a waiter handing out champagne and you take a glass, toasting on the evening and voicing out the hope that Tom wins the award and while you say that you give him a wink. You walk through the room, now and then stopping to talk to the people there and while Tom does most of the talking you take the oportunity to look at him. He really does look very pale, you then see that his hair is combed back, that's a first, you think and could also cause that he looks so tired and exhausted. While walking around the room again you come across a buffet and you stop making Tom look at you. 

"You want to eat something?" you ask. 

"No, not hungry." 

"It are just small appetizers, it can't hurt." you say, trying to mask the worry in your voice but he still hears it. 

"I'm fine."Tom says and lays his arm around your waist to pull you close. 

"It's just...you look really pale, like your exhausted..."you say and frame his face to really look at him,"even your face seems to be...smaller, thinner, are you eating okay? Sleeping okay?" 

"It's probably just jetlag, it was a long flight. And besides the jetlag there is also the time difference, my body is used to American time." 

"I know but still...." 

"I'll be fine," he says and leans over to kiss you,"but it's nice to know you worry about me." 

"Of course I worry about you, I love you, I want you healthy and you've already had two glasses of champagne and that can't be good on an empty stomach. Just eat something, okay, for me please?" 

"Sure." 

Tom looks at the appetizers and when he takes a plate and places some on it you are relieved. After about thirtyfive minutes you are brought inside a huge and very beautiful decorated room where they bring you to your seat and to your delight Ben and Sophie are placed beside you. When a voice over announces 'Best Actor' and the actors are mentioned you automatically reach out your hand to Tom and he laces your fingers together. Helen Mirren then walks on stage and on the big screen behind her appear the words 'Best Actor' and the names of the nominees. You listen carefully to what she is saying and in the end she says the long-awaited words and you hold your breath. 

"The award goes to a great performance of Coriolanus at the Donmar, Tom Hiddleston." 

You lay your hand over your mouth while Tom gets up and pulls you up to give you a hug and a kiss before he lets go of your hand and walks to the podium. You slowly sit in your chair and immediately Sophie leans towards you. 

"Congratulations, he deserves it more than anyone." she says. 

You look at her and see that Ben nods beside her but before you can say anything you hear Tom's voice on stage and you look at him. 

"Wow, this is incredible, I did not expect this given the fact that my fellow nominees are such talented and acclaimed actors and compared to them I'm still fairly new to the theater. Coriolanus is a bloody, brutal, angry play and I share this with the whole company who shed real blood and sweat and tears. It's an honor that I may receive this award for the most challenging and demanding role I have played so far. I would like to thank everyone who had a part in this play and of course, my wife, y/n, for her support and faith in me and without you at my side my life would be a lot less interesting, I love you, thank you." 

When you make eye contact, he nods at you before he is being lead from the stage and suddenly you have to think of your promise in the car. You turn to Ben while the ceremony continues. 

"Ben," you whisper and he looks at you,"do you know where they are taking Tom?"   
"In the room next to this one, they remain there until the rest of the winners are gathered there and then they will talk to the press, why?" 

"Oh, I uh....would like to congratulate him and say that I am very proud of him." you smile. 

"Yes I'm sure you would." 

"Shut up, you." 

Ben gives you a wink before you quietly slip out of your chair and into the direction of the curtains where the winners are shielded from the people. When you slip through you see it is a lot larger then you thought, pillars are standing in the middle and on the side and you see a group of people, there are a few winners and a few people from the organization. You let your eyes go over them and you smile when you see Tom. You walk around the group until his eyes find yours and he instantly comes to you. 

"Hey." he says and grabs your hand to take you to a secluded spot so that you are alone. 

"Hey, I do not want to disturb, but I'm so proud of you." you say and cup his cheek with your hands, and he leans into the touch. 

"Thank you." 

Tom lets an arm slip around your waist to give you a kiss. Then he takes your hand and kisses your palm before he moves it over his chest, you feel his steady heartbeat under your palm. 

"Wow, your heart is pounding like crazy." you say. 

"Yes, because I'm so excited." 

"Because of the award, of course." 

"Among others." he says and he leans in to kiss you while he lets his fingertips slowly go up over your lower arm. 

You are distracted by the fingers that are now going over your upper arm and leave goosebumps in their wake. Tom breaks the kiss and pushes you back untill you feel one of the pillars behind you and when you look at him you see that all to familiar sparkle in his eyes. 

"Tom we can't." you whisper. 

"I know, but, fuck, your so sexy in that dress." 

He says while kissing your neck you're mind is still with those fingerstips that have now reached your neck and instinctively you roll your head back to give those fingers and his lips a free path. He curls his fingers around your neck, his thumb caresses your jawline while his lips still kiss your bare skin. Your head falls with a soft thud against the pillar behind you and you close your eyes. Tom presses his body against you, and you feel how his other hand moves to the split in your dress, letting his fingers slip underneath and he moans when he finds out your not wearing any panties. 

"Fuck, y/n, your such a tease,"he says and slips his fingers through your folds,"and soaking wet." 

He lifts your leg and you quickly look around, to your relief you are hidden from sight but you know there are people around, you can hear them walking past and sometimes you can even hear the speaker on the stage. When he rolls his hips forward you can't help the soft moan from escaping your lips. 

"You really wanna do this here?" you ask, already breathless. 

"Well, you did promise me a reward if I would win and I want it, I need you so fucking much right now, but you have to be quite, can you do that, darling? Can you be quite while I fuck you slowly and deeply?" he whispers in your ear. 

"I can try." you say, licking your dry lips. 

"I need my hands." Tom mutters. 

Before he can do something you grab the award from him and hold it tightly.   
"There." you say. 

Suddenly you feel his lips on yours, soft and gentle. You open your eyes and see two lust filled blue eyes looking at you intense. His tongue licks its way into your mouth and wraps itself around yours. You sigh longingly and lay your arms around his neck and pull him against you. You roll your hips forward and feel how hard he is. Tom lets a hand go down to his trousers and pushes it with his boxer down far enough to free his hard erection. You feel the blunt head push against your entrance and when he rolls hips slightly forward, you feel the tip slip inside you and you groan before his lips claim yours, silicing your moans of pleasure. You press your ankle in his lower back and arch your back letting him know how much you are enjoying him. 

"Tell me how much you want me, tell me how much you need me."he whispers against your lips. 

"I....please."you get across your lips with difficulty. 

"Tell me."he says, rocking his hips forward a little more, inching his way inside you untill he completly fills you up. 

His hand disappears under your buttocks and he pushes you up with every thrust of his hips and when he tilts his hips he strokes over that one spot within you.   
"God, Tom..." 

"Nobody else..never..." 

You shake your head and feel his lips in your neck. 

"Y/n...fuck...."he groans. 

You open your eyes and look at him, lust filling dark pools watch you intently with a look that says you're the world for him, all he desires, and everything he has ever wanted. You are not capable of anything else except moving along with him, your body's as one. After some slow deep thrusts you feel your climax aproaching and you want to scream but you can't. 

Your mouth opens and forms a perfect 'o' while Tom keeps you trapped with his eyes. His thrusts are slow and deep, and each time he brushes over that particular spot in your body which makes you climax get closer and closer. Suddenly the thrusts go fast and he has every inward movement angled to hit your pleasure spot, your head is spinning with delight and you squeeze your eyes shut. It does not take long before your muscles start to contract around his shaft and Tom knows that means your close. He leans forward to catch your lips in a bruising kiss, avoiding your screams to be heard by the many people around you but when he reaches his own climax he has to break it and his lips are replaced with his hand over your mouth. You moan against his hand, realizing that his hand that is stiffling your cries of pleasure from bypassers not a few feet away from you only turns you on more and it's making your pussy retract violently around Tom's shaft and he bites your neck muffeling his own sounds of pleasure and not much later he follows you over the edge. 

Afterwards he draws you to him, he places his arm protectively around you and caresses your arm with his fingertips making you tremble in his arms. Tom kisses your temple and looks at you. 

"That was amazing, and when we get home, I'll fuck you again and you can wake up the whole neighbourhood with your screams for all I care." 

He kisses your cheek before you give him back his award and when you let go you are a bit unsteady on your feet and Tom immediately lets his arms go around you. Just when he wants to say something you hear a voice. 

"If the winners want to come to me?" 

Tom looks over his shoulder and then back to you. 

"Will you be okay?" 

"Yes, fine, I just .... I will walk away very slowly and very carefully so that no one notices that my legs are like, you know, jelly,"you say and lean down taking of your heels,"just in case." 

Tom smiles and kisses your lips before he walks away and you leave to find Sophie and Ben. It doesn't take long before you have found them, they are standing next to the buffet and after you take a glass of champagne you join them. 

"Well, according to your big smile he was very happy with his congratulations." Ben says and gives you a wink. 

"Tremendously happy." you say and take a sip of champagne. 

"Why don't we get something to eat." Ben suggests. 

"Sounds good." you say. 

You place a step towards the plates but suddenly you falter. 

"Whoah, easy." Sophie says and takes your elbow. 

"It's fine, I'm suddenly light-headed." 

"Sophie, bring her to a table while I get her something to eat." 

Sophie nods and you walk to the table and are set down and after some time Ben joins you with some appatizers. After you have eating a couple of them you look at Sophie. 

"How are you?" you ask her. 

"Fine, actually." 

"No nausea?" 

"No, fortunately not yet." 

"I hope it stays that way and you are spared off all the trouble I've had with Lucy's pregnancy." 

"And otherwise I am also always still here to support her." Ben says and takes Sophie's hand to press a kiss on it. 

You eat and talk for a while and when a well-known award is being put on the table, you look up and you see Tom standing next to you, he extends his hand to you and you take it without hesitation. 

"Dance with me." he says. 

He pulls you up and gives you time to put your heels back on before he takes you to the dance floor where his arm slips around your waist and he draws you close to him, the fingers of the other hand lace with yours and you lay an arm around his neck while you slowly start to dance to the music. 

"Thank you for mentioning me in your speech, you didn't have too." 

"I know, but I wanted too, and I meant it, you make my life so much more fun and interesting and I feel so honered that you are mine. And I just want the whole world to know how happy you make me." 

You smile and close your eyes while laying your head on his shoulder and there appears a smile on your lips while you snuggle closer into Tom's safe and loving embrace and in response your feel Tom tightening his grip around your waist. He lays your joined hands on his chest before he lightly kisses your cheek and lays his forehead against your temple and you hear him breath in deeply. 

"I love dancing with you like this." you say. 

"Yeah?" is the soft reply. 

"Yeah, when our hands are lying on your chest like that I can almost feel your heart beating, and your arms around me like this, they never fail to make me feel safe, secured, loved." 

"I'm glad to hear that." 

Tom kisses your temple and the fingers of his other hand softly carress your back making you tingle inside and when he let's his finger move up over your spine with just the right amount of pressure you shiver against him, making him chuckle. 

"I love you so much." he whispers. 

"I love you too baby." you say.


	88. chapter 84

His lips kiss your cheek again, slowly moving their way down and you feel how his arm draws you even closer against him and when you look up at him you suddenly feel a stab of pain in your stomach and you close your eyes.

"Y/N? Are you okay?"

"Yeah fine, just...it's just a stomach ache, I guess."

You sigh deeply and your fingers curl around Tom's arm because the world suddenly turns.

"You should sit down." he says.

Tom brings you to a table and puts you on a chair, he sits on his heels in front of you and takes your hand in his to press a kiss on it.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asks.

You smile and lace your fingers together, you know how important this award is for Tom and how much value it has for him. He has put his heart and soul into the role and now he finally gets the well deserved recognition you do not want to deprive him of that.

"No, no, I'll be fine." you say and rub your hands over your stomach.

"Okay."

"Why don't you go walk around, I'm sure there are a lot of journalists from important magazines and newspapers."

"No, I'm not leaving you."

"Tom, please, you have worked so hard for this, it was your baby for three months."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, go. Go and take the praise you more then deserve."

"Okay," he says and gives you a kiss before he stands up,"I'll ask Sophie to stay with you."

"I don't need a babysitter."

"I know, it's for me, just so I know your in good hands." he smiles.

Not five minutes later Sophie joins you at the table with some food and she places it in front of you making you look at her with raised eyebrows.

"Tom said you were hongry." she explains.

"He did?" you laugh.

"Your not hungry?"

"No, I just don't feel too good that's all,"you look at the food and then at Sophie again,"you know, I think I'm going to go home, the pain in my stomach is getting worse."

"I'll get Tom." Sophie says but you stop her.

"No, let him," you say and Sophie looks at you surprised,"he deserves this, I don't want to rob him of the praises that are long overdue."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Will you call me when you get home?"

"If it makes you feel better." you smile.

"Yes it would."

"Then I will, give Ben a kiss for me."

"Oh I can do that." Sophie smiles and gives you a kiss before you leave.

When you walk outside the doorman recognizes you and asks if you want a cab and since you came in Tom's car you nod. He hails a cab for you and let's you get in before he closes the door and the cab drives off. It's a quite trip back home and you do feel a little guilty you didn't tell Tom you were going home but you know that he would never have let you go alone. Suddenly the cab swerve and you grasp the armrest while you look at the driver. Your eyes meet in the rearviw mirror and he can just give you a short nod before you see car lights come straight at you and you feel the impact of the collision before it gets dark and you lose consciousness.

 

When you wake up you see bright lights above you and when you sit up and throw your legs over the edge you look around you. Everywhere people are running and screaming and stretchers drive past you with wounded people. Then you remember the accident and just when you want to see if you're okay you hear a voice and you look up.

"You're awake."

"Yes, how did I get here?"

"Do you remember what happened?"

"Uhm, an accident, is the cab driver okay."

"He's fine, he's already been released. You, however, where completely out off it."

"I was?"

"Yeah, how do you feel?"

"Good."

"No pain?"

You suddenly remember your stomach pain but it seems to be gone.

"No."

"That's good," he says and gives you a paper,"when you sign this, you can go home."

Just when you want to take the paper you hear a familiar voice saying your name and you look up to see Tom approaching you hurriedly. His face is worried and in his eyes you see the same, he stands before you, frames your face with his hands and sinks slightly through his knees while he lets his eyes go over your face before they move searchingly over your body searching for bruises or marks before he eventually looks at you again.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm fine, Tom what are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? You're kidding, right?"

"No, you're supposed to be in the Palladium."

"No I'm supposed to be here with you. Are you sure you're okay?"

"I can assure you, Mr. Hiddleston, your wife is fine,"the doctor says,"and congratulations with your award, half the hospital staff saw it and according to them, you more then deserve it."

"Thank you."

The doctor gives you the paper and while you sign it Tom sits down next to you. After you gave the doctor the papers and he is gone Tom turns your face towards him and you look at him, the concern still in his eyes, but you also see something else; pain.

"Why did you not tell me you went home?" he says and you also hear the pain in it.

"You know why." you say and fidget with your fingers.

"I really appreciate that you want me to take the praise and compliments and it is nice to hear and everything, but you are more important then that or any award."

"I'm sorry, Tom."

"It's okay, I'm just relieved that you're okay." he says and kisses your forehead.

"How did you know I was here?"

"Sophie."

"Oh, I'd said I'd call her."

"Yes, and when you didn't and she was not able to get connected with you she got worried and eventually she warned me, so I got in my car and drove home but halfway there I drove past a place where an accident had happened. I got out and asked one of the officers what happend and he told me that they rushed a woman with a purple dress to the hospital in an ambulance, and here I am. You know,"he says and takes you in his arms, "when I heard they had brought you to the hospital in the ambulance, my heart stopped and I.... I just couldn't breath, you scared the hell out of me."

You look at him and smile, Tom cups your cheek and leans forward to kiss you, the kiss is gentle and loving but unexpectedly ignites an intense desire in your body and you moan softly as you bite his lip. When you look at him you see his eyes have darkened a little and you know he felt it too.

"Take me home."

While you walk to the back entrance and to his car he opens the door for you and you step in and after he got in and started the car to drive away. His fingers move towards you and one hand disappears underneath your dress, making good use of the split. Normally you would stop him, but you're so turned on that you let him have his way. When his fingers creep to the inside of your thigh you spread your legs a little. When he slips a finger in your knickers and straight into you, you raise your hips and lay your head against the backrest groaning and you close your eyes.

"Fuck, y/n, you're soaking wet, I can feel your muscles already tense around my finger, so hot."

"God you better hurry up because I can't take this anymore."

"When we get home," he says and briefly caresses your clit,"I'm going to fuck you so hard."

"What about your parents." you suddenly say and push his hand from under your dress before you really cum and you bring it to your mouth to plant kisses on it.

"We have to be quiet." he says.

"I don't know if I can." you say while you move towards him and kiss his neck.

"I don't know if I want you too, I love to hear you moaning my name, what about the gazebo." he says.

"What?" you ask and softly bite his neck, making him moan in his throat.

"The gazebo."

"In a single bed?" you question while your tongue licks the abuised spot on his skin.

"It will be a tight fit but it's not like I haven't done it before." he shrugs.

"Excuse me?" you ask and stop your ministrations to look at him.

"What?"

"When have you done it before? You've spent your teens on Eton and wasn't that an all boys school?"

"It was, it is, but you know, your a teenager with raging hormones, your body goes through all these changes and well, there are always ways to smuggle girls in if you want."

"Wauw, the always respectful and honorable Tom Hiddleston smuggled girls into his dorm room. Sounds exiting, weren't you afraid you got caught?"

"It only hightened the pleasure darling."

Fifteen minutes later Tom parks the car and you see it is dark in the house and you sigh of relief, Diana and James are in bed and when you and Tom open the door you push it shut lightly and Tom is instantly on you and pushes your back against the door and takes possession of your mouth, the kiss is passionate, intense, fiery and you let your purse fall so that your fingers can fists his jacket. Tom hoists your leg up over his hip and rolls them against you and you feel how hard he is and you moan. When suddenly someone clears his throat you are so startled that you give Tom a shove and he, being taken completely of guard, stumbles backwards over his own feet, your hands even grab for him but you're too late. He can not keep his balance and falls backwards, his arms swing around for support and they grab the coat rack but unfortunately it is not enough and together with coat rack and all he falls, making quite a bit of noise. You lay your hands over your mouth and go straight down on your knees and sit beside him, pushing coats off of him and you look at him.

"Sorry." you whisper.

"What was that for?" he asks.

You move your head towards the stairs and he follows your gaze.

"Mom." He says.

"Hi, sorry to bother you but I wanted to congratulate you on your award."

"Thanks, thank you." he says.

You help him to his feet and he rubs his head.

"Did you hurt yourself?" you ask.

"No, I'll be all right."

"What is going on down here?" you hear someone say and see James appearing at the stairs.

Meanwhile, Diana stands beside you with her arms folded over each other. Suddenly you have to laugh and when Diana also starts to laugh Tom looks at you in amazement.

"Sorry, dear, we're not making fun of you but it looked so comical." his mother says.

When Tom looks at you, you nod in agreement and he makes a pouting face and you take him in your arms for a moment.

"Sorry, baby, I'll make it up to you."

"I'll hold you to that." he says.

"Is that the award?" James asks.

He is standing next to Diana and nods to the pile of coates and you can just see the top peeking out.

"Oh goodness, I must have dropped it." Tom says.

He kneels down and takes it out of the pile to show it to his parents.

"It's beautiful, Tom, even though I've never been very happy with your choice of becoming an actor and sometimes you drove me mad with your persistance, I'm proud of you, son."

"Thanks, dad, it means a lot to hear you say that." Tom says.

"I mean it," James says before he looks at Diana again,"well, shall we go back to bed?"

After his parents walked upstairs you wait until you hear the door closing and immediately Tom's arms slip around you and he pulls you against him.

"I'm ready for you to make it up to me." he says and kisses your shoulder.

You smile and turn around in his arms.

"And I will, but first I want to look at Lucy."

"Of course."

Together you walk up and sneak inside Lucy's nursery, you place your hands on the edge and Tom covers them with his own while you watch your daughter who is, to your surprise, awake and looking up at you with her bright blue eyes, flanked by Loki and De Li and you smile.

"Your awake, why are you awake? Is it because of the noise your daddy made?" you ask.

Lucy coos and stretches her arms out to you but Tom picks her up and cradles her against his chest, kissing her head.

"I still can't believe we made such a perfect little girl, y/n."

"I know, me neither."

"I'm so proud of you for what you did that evening, I never could have done it, you really were amazing, so brave."

"It hurt like hell but the result was more then worth it."

"I'm sure it did with the way you squeezed my hand sometimes, so hard."

"Sorry."

"Don't be, it was horrible to see you in so much pain so I was glad there was at least something I could do to make it a little more bearable."

"You did, you pulled me through, with your words of encouragements, your soothing voice, I was very thankfull that Emma was with me but I couldn't have done it without you."

Tom turns towards you and cups your cheek with his hand.

"I meant what I said that day, the next time I'm there from the beginning to the end."

"I still can't believe you would really give up a role for me."

"In a heartbeat, darling, no question."

He pulls you close to give you a kiss on your lips before he looks at Lucy who has fallen asleep in her fathers arms and he carefully lays her back in her cradle. You eyes go to Tom and you take his hands.

"I believe I have some making up to do."

You walk backwards while you pull him with you out of the nursery and into your bedroom. As soon as you come into the bedroom Tom is on you again and you smile while his arms go around your waist and he lays his on your buttocks. He squeezes and pushes you against him at the same time while his lips assault your neck. Your hands disappear into his hair and slowly he lifts you up so you can lay your legs around his hips. He walks with you to the bed and crawls on it to then lay you on your back and one of his hands immediately slides under your dress and goes directly to their target. However, when his fingers caress you folds you curse and give Tom a gentle push.

"Tom, wait." you say.

He stops his caresses and looks at you.

"What?"

"I do not know if I can do this."

"What? Why not?"

"Because...., your parents are sleeping on the other side of this wall."

"Yes, sleeping. What's the problem?"

"Just .... don't you think it's weird that your parents are so close while we ..."

"Have sex?"

"Yes."

"No. But you obviously do."

"Sorry, the walls are thin, I just do not want them to hear something, even if they understand it, I mean, we have not seen each other for four weeks and you're here till tomorrow ..."

"Exactly, I'm here until tomorrow and I refuse to leave without having made love to my wife." Tom says

He kisses your neck, and he swivels his hips while he simultaneously pushes them forward making you feel his clearly present erection and you moan softly.

"Come on, don't you want this?" he mumbles against your skin.

"You know I want that, I will always want that, but your parents ...."

Tom sighs and suddenly he stands up but before you can say anything he lifts you bridal style into strong arms and walks with you to the overflow towards the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

"I am taking you to the gazebo."

"What?" you laugh.

"I am taking you to the gazebo so that I can have my way with you there, as I said, I refuse to leave without having made love to my beautiful wife."

You smile and kiss his neck while Tom walks downstairs with you through the living room and out the patio doors and then walks inside the gazebo. He does not even take the trouble to find the bed, he immediately places you on a table which stands next to the door and he kisses you deeply. His hands slide down over your body and he hitches you dress up until it's rolled up around your waist before his hands cup your behind so that he can pull you tightly against him and you lock your ankles behind his back. Then his hands go up to slide the strap of your dress of your shoulder and his hands push the fabric down and he moans in your mouth when he feels that you are not wearing a bra. He cups your breasts in his hands, his thumbs stroking your nipples until they are hard while your hands open his shirt and your fingers slowly move down over his muscles so that you can unbuckle his belt and as soon as his pants is loose too you push it with boxer and all to the ground and immediately take his cock in your hand. Tom's breath falters in his throat and his hips jerk forward at your touch.

"Fuck, y/n," he says and bites your neck, "I need to be inside you."

He leans over you and places his hands beside your head against the wall, he looks at you before his lips claim yours and the kiss is filled with longing and passion and it takes your breath away. Your arms go around his waist and end up on his ass. You squeeze him and pull him against you while Tom lets a hand go down and you feel the blunt head push against your entrance and when you push him towards you again Tom smiles against your lips about your eagerness to feel him inside and he rolls his hips slightly forward, you feel the tip slip inside you but then he stops, you groan into his mouth.

"Tell me that you want me too, tell me you need me just as much as I need you, darling..."

"I....please." you get across your lips with difficulty.

Tom rocks his hips forward a little more, inching his way inside you. You moan and rock your hips up to get him inside you deeper and when he pushes himself inside you all the way you both moan at the feeling, a feeling you both have had to miss for to long and soon he starts to thrust in and out of your wet slit slowly and deeply. You bring your hips up with every thrust, desperately trying to get him inside you as deep as possible.

"Tell me I'm the only one who can give you this feeling."

"You are the only one." you breath.

His hand disappears under your buttocks and he pushes you up with every thrust of his hips and when he tilts your hips he strokes over that one spot within you and your head falls back against the wall behind you.

"God, Tom ...."

"Nobody else...never...."

You shake your head and feel his lips in your neck.

"Y/N..." he groans.

You open your eyes and look at him, lust filling dark blue pools watch you intently with a look that says you're the world for him, all he desires, and everything he has ever wanted. And at that moment, that one moment you realize that he's also everything you want, he's everything you've always wanted.

You place your hands beside you on the wood so you can rock your hips up while he keeps pushing up your hips. The only sounds heard are your heavy breathing and sometimes a strangled moan. You are not capabel of anything else except moving along with him, your body's as one, not knowing where you end and he begins. After some slow deep thrusts you feel your climax aproaching and you want to scream but you can't. Your mouth opens and forms a perfect 'o' while Tom keeps you trapped with his eyes. His thrusts are slow and deep, and each time he scrapes over that particular spot in your body which makes your climax getting closer and closer. He smiles and leans forward to kiss you, his thrusts going slightly faster and deeper and when he kisses the place where your shoulder meets your neck you shudder beneath him, Tom feels it and looks at you.

Suddenly the thrusts go fast and he has every inward movement angled to hit your pleasure spot, your head is spinning with delight and you squeeze your eyes shut. It does not take long before you tumble over the edge, your muscles clenching around Tom's shaft and he bites your neck. Not much later he follows you over the edge. When you both have your breath back he kisses your cheek and lifts your face to look at you.

"Want to go back upstairs?" he asks.

"No, let's just stay here for a while, get some sleep."

"Okay."

Tom helps you off the table and while you let your dress slip to the ground and step out of it Tom undresses himself too. You crawl under the blanket and lay down on your side before Tom crawls in to and melts his longer body around yours and you realize the bed is just big enough.

"Well, this is cozy," Tom says,"are you comfortable?"

"Yes, very." you say.

Tom tightens his arm around your waist and kisses your bare shoulder before you fall asleep.


	89. chapter 85

When you wake up the next day, it is still dark and a glance at the clock, it tells you it's half past eight in the morning. You look over your shoulder and see that Tom is still sleeping, you smile and very carefully squirm out of his arms. When you stand besides the bed, he turns on his back, arm above his head and the other on his chest that slowly goes up and down from his breathing. You wish you could crawl up close to him and get some more sleep but Lucy could wake up and she needs to be fed.

You tiptoe to the pile of clothes but at first glance you only see Tom's shirt and pants lying but then you see the purple colour of your dress from underneath and you pick it up. Once you have put it on you walk over to the bed and lean over to give Tom a kiss on his soft lips, he stirs but does not wake up, you don't want to deprive him of spending time with Lucy but you still think he looks pale and you decide that it's better to let him catch up on some sleep, knowing he will probably get little in the next 48 hours.

When you slowly open the patio doors it is still dark and you are relieved that Diana and James appear to be still sleeping. First you walk into the bedroom to dress and suddenly you feel a wave of nausea coming up and you run to the bathroom. You barely make it to the toilet and gag a few times before you take a deep breath and sit upright. You keep sitting like that for some minutes and when you are sure Diana and James haven't woken up you stand up and walk to Lucy's nursery.

Your little girl is still fast asleep and you smile, your eyes slide through the nursery and rest on the bookshelf and you frown your eyebrows when you see a familiar scrapbook. You walk towards it and take it and sit on the rocking chair. Your fingers move over the name of your beloved and you open the book to be immediately confronted with the reviews of the play where he won an award for the night before. You browse through the book, reading some reviews and looking at photos and then you remember that you had the play on tape and you wonder if that tape is still around somewhere. When the door is suddenly pushed open further you look up and you see Tom appearing in the doorway.

"Hey." he says.

"Hey."

He is leaning against the door frame, he has put on his pants and his shirt, which is buttoned up halfway and it hangs over his pants, his thumb hooked in the loop of his jacket and thrown over his shoulder, hair tussled and sleep still thick in his voice, but he still takes your breath away.

"You were gone when I woke up, I don't like it when I wake up and your gone," he says softly and walks towards you to sit next to you on his knees, "what are you doing?"

"Just looking,"you say and show him the scrapbook with pictures,"you know, these pictures and the reviews just get this whole other meaning now that you won an award for it."

"I know, they do."

"I have an idea." you say and stand up while taking Tom's hand and you start pulling him out of the nursery.

"Which is?" he asks while he lets himself be pulled out his daughters nursery.

"You'll see."

You take him downstairs and into the livingroom where you pick up the award and then lead him through the hallway and into his office. The glass cabinet you once bought for his awards is stil empty and you open the door, place the award in the middel of the cabinet and close it again. You take a step back, admiring it and you smile before you frown.

"It looks amazing." he says.

"It looks pathetic."

"What?" he asks laughing.

"Well, just look at it, it's too alone, you need to win more prizes."

"I will do my best, darling." he says.

He nuzzles his nose in your neck followed by a kiss and when you hear Lucy crying you look up and sigh.

"Well, some one needs her bottle." you say.

"Hm, why don't you get it ready and I'll get her."

"Okay."

He kisses you before he jumps the stairs two at a time and you walk into the kitchen to prepare Lucy's bottle and when your done and walk into the livingroom Tom is already there with his mom and dad. You and Tom exchange a look and you nod.

"Dad, you want to give your granddaughter the bottle?" he asks.

James smiles gratefull and takes over his granddaughter and you hand him the bottle, it goes a little clumsy in the beginning but eventually he manages and Lucy drinks the whole bottle. You also let Diana and James know that when Tom comes back you will leave for a holiday on 6th of January and you are relieved that even though they find it ashame, Lucy won't be here for Christmas and New Year's Eve, they understand you want to spent some time alone and that makes it easier for you to ask if they want to look after her when you return so you can attend the premiere of Blackhat in Hollywood, which they gladly agree too.

After about an hour Diana and James say goodbye, wanting to give you and Tom some time together with Lucy before he has to go back to Shreveport and you take full use of that. You let Tom do as much as possible in these hours, he bathes her, changes her diaper, sings to her, gives her the bottle, letting him play and cuddle with her, while you keep yourself on the background.

When you have walked around the block with Oakley and come back inside you see Tom lying on the couch with Lucy sleeping on his chest, one arm hanging off the couch and the other protectivly around her, holding her in place. You smile and walk towards the couch to kneel next to it and carefully you take his hand and lace your fingers together before you place your other one on his hand on the back of your daughter, Tom stirs and his eyes open. When he sees you he smiles and brings your joined hands to your cheek to cup it.

"Thank you." he says.

"For what?"

"For giving me some time alone with Lucy. I really appriciate it, darling."

"Your welcome, I thought you could both need it seeing you have to leave for three weeks. I just want her to know that next to me, your the most important person in her live. You're also her first contact with men, how you handle her determines how she will interact with other boys in her life, you are her role model and I also want her to remember you, what you look like, what you sound like."

He pulls you towards him to give you a kiss and after the kiss you move away so he can sit up, carefully cradling his daughter in his arms. After he places her in the box you make dinner together and enjoy eating it, while you load the dishwasher Tom gives Lucy the bottle and he takes her to bed for the last time in at least three weeks. Just when you turn around you walk into his arms that close around you and he kisses you deeply.

"After spending the past few hours with my daughter I want to spent this last hour with my wife." he says.

"And what, my husband, are you planning on doing with me for that whole hour?"

Tom smiles and leans down to kiss you again and his lips slowly find a path to your ear and he gently tugs your earlobe, making you moan.

"Showing you how much I love you, how much I adore you and making you see how thankfull I am for every single second that you have been mine and will be mine,"he says and suddenly lifts you bridal style,"and giving you something to remember me by."

"You don't have to give me something to remember you, Tom."

"I know,"he says and walks up the stairs with you,"but I have a surprise for you."

"What?"

"Well, on every set I worked, we could take a souvenir home with us on the last day, including that of Wallander." he says.

He looks at you and you raise your eyebrows at him, having a feeling where this is going.

"Oh, can't wait."you say and lean forward to kiss his neck.

You feel Tom shudder under your treatment and you smile against his skin, he walks into the bedroom with you and lays you down.

"Stay here." he says.

You watch him walk to the closet and after rummaging in some drawers he comes back, grin on his face and you can't help but smile when he shows you the silver handcufs.

"Are you going to arrest me, detective?" you ask and your eyes widen.

"Hands up, beauty."

"But I have not done anything." your answer and bat your eyelashes.

Tom laughs and sits astride you on the bed.

"Up."

You do what he says and keep your hands up, Tom handcufs one of your hands and loops the chain around a bar of the bed before he fastens your other hand and he places his hands beside your head.

"Are you sure about this?" he asks.

"Yes, I want this."

"Okay then."

He lies down beside you on his side, head supported by his hand and his free hand slowly unties your blouse before he lays it sideways and bares your upper body to him. His fingers gently caress your neck, collarbone and slide down between your breasts to your stomach where he runs a circle around your navel and you shiver under his touch. Tom chuckles at your response and looks at you.

"I like that I have this effect on you." he says.

His fingers find a way up and he caresses your nipple through the fabric of your bra before he squeezes and you bite your lip in order to suppress a groan.

"Oh no, let me hear you."

He leans forward and bites your nipple and this time a muffled groan escapes your lips.

"That's it. I love that I can coax such delightful sounds from you and I intend to coax much more of them from between your lips. I am going to make you moan and scream my name and when you can not bear it anymore, I'm going to make you beg me to let you cum, darling."

His fingers go lower and he opens up your pants, excruciatingly slowly, he pushes it down over your legs and pulls them off, he places himself between your legs to lean forward and plant kisses on your abdomen and you place your feet flat on the mattress to lift your hips off the bed. Tom smiles against your skin and sits up.

"No, not yet, remember, I have a whole hour to drive you mad and that I'm going to use."

He lies back next to you in his previous position and you lay your legs flat on the bed while his fingers slide down over your side, he caresses your thigh lightly and your hips jerk up.

"God you are so sensitive and receptive to my touch on your skin."

His fingers slide further down and when they slip into your knickers and he caresses your pubic mound your breath falters in your throat and your hips come up from the bed again.

"You can not wait, can you?" he asks and you hear the smile in his voice.

Tom leans forward and nudges his nose against your breast and when he gets his hand out of your nickers you can not help but make a protesting sound in your throat.

"Oh do not worry, you'll feel my fingers soon enough where you want them, darling." he promisses.

He lets his hand slip under your back and opens the clasp of your bra, he pushes it over your breasts and gently he plants several kisses on the side of your breast untill you can't take it anymore and pull on the handcufs, making them rattle.

"Tom, please..." you beg.

"Please what?" he asks

His lips move around your breast and slowly upwards untill he can suck a nipple into his mouth. His tongue washes over it before he tugs it and you press your head back into the pillow and rub your thighs together for friction.

"Ah, ah," Tom says and pushes your legs apart,"I will be the only one that gives you pleasure tonight, my tongue, my fingers, my cock."

You shudder at his words and lick your lips causing Tom to come up and kiss your lips deeply before he again lies down next to you and you feel his fingers move back to the band of your knickers and this time they go down and they fleetingly caress your folds ensuring that a groan escapes your lips.

"God, I love to make your moan like that," he sighs, "give me more."

He thrust a finger inside you and your breathing accelerates as your hips come loose again from the bed.

"You just can not help but buck your hips up under my caress can you? To let me know how much you want me, how desperate you are to feel my fingers inside you, or to let me know how much pleasure they give you."

He thrust a second finger inside you and his thumb caresses your clit while his eyes look at you, they glide down over your slightly perspiring body.

"Just look at you, writhing and squirming under my touch, because of my fingers, burried deep inside your pussy, God you're so nice and wet for me, darling, you feel so good."

"Fuck." you exhale.

"Oh, you like that, don't you? When I talk dirty to you?"

"Yes."

"You naughty girl."

Tom smiles and pushes a third finger inside you making your muscles tighten  
around his fingers.

"Christ, y/n, to feel your muscles tighten around my fingers like that, it feels so hot. Tell me, could you cum just from my fingers touching and carressing you and my voice talking to you?"

"Yes."

"I would love to see that, darling,"he rolls his hips against your thigh and you feel his hard cock, who is clearly there,"you feel that? You feel what you do to me? The effect you have on me?"

You wriggle your hips sideways, causing friction against his cock and his breath hitches in his throat.

"But you do not want my fingers, do you? You want something else, something much bigger."

"Yes." you say breathlessly.

"Say it."

"What?"

"Tell me, tell me what you want."

Tom settles between your legs and he opens his pants and shoves it down before he covers your body with his larger one, placing his cock against your folds and kissing and biting your neck.

"I want..."

"Say it, I want to hear you say the words, darling, what do you want."

"I want your cock, I want your cock buried deep inside me, I want you to fuck me, Tom, please, I'm begging you."

More Tom does not need to let his cock completely slip inside you and you moan lustfully while the handcuffs rattle on the bar from the bed, he leans forward and kisses licks and bites you neck. You clench you hands into fists and press your head in the pillow to give him more space, his fingers slide over your bare skin and leave a trail of fire behind wherever they go.

"It still amazes me how perfectly my cock fits you, as if it was made to fuck you." he whispers in your ear.

Your moaning becomes louder and your breathing faster while your legs come up and curl themselves around his hips. You lock your ankles on his back and push him with every inward thrust against you to feel him even more deeper within you.

"Fuck, y/n, the way you suck me inside you, indescribable, so fucking delicious."

Tom places a hand next to you head and with the other he lays your leg over his shoulder, he pulls his cock back until he almost slips out of you and automatically your muscles tighten around his shaft and he chuckles at your response. He turns his head and kisses the side of your knee before releasing your leg and his hands move up, searching your fingers and lacing them with his, he looks at you with dark blue eyes and the thrust that follows is so hard that the bed slams against the wall and your eyes roll back in your sockets of pleasure. Tom keeps the thrusts hard and powerful and apart from the noise of his balls that slap against your butt the only other sounds is your heavy breathing and panting. With every thrust Tom pushes you further to your peak and eventually you can't hold it anymore and your body starts to display the signs of a climax.

"You want to cum?" Tom pants in your ear.

"Yes."

"You know what I want to hear."

"I beg you, let me cum."

You feel fingers sliding down over your body and one tap on your clit is enough to push your over the edge, your muscles tense around Tom's shaft while your body bucks and shudders under your orgasm and your arms pull uncontrollably on the handcuffs. Your eyes go to Tom, head back, eyes closed, mouth open, muscles strained and body shocking when his orgasm washes over him before he lets a long groan to escape his lips and he lets his face fall foward to nuzzle your neck. You turn your face towards him and kiss his neck a few times and finally you bite into it. That attracts his attention and slowly he looks at you.

"Hi." you say.

"Hi."

"Could you uncuff me?" you ask.

"Of course."

Tom let his cock slide out of you, making you both moan and he reaches for the bedside table to pick up the keys and he uncuffs you. You pull your arms towards you and you rub your wrists which have became a little sensitive.

"Come here." Tom says.

He takes your hands in his, and affectionately kisses and caresses the inside of your wrists and you smile.

"Sorry." he says.

"What do you mean?"

"Your wrists." he says.

You look at your wrists and see both have a faint red line, made by the handcuffs.

"Oh, that will fade away, it doesn't hurt," you say, and lean towards him to kiss him,"that was mind blowing."

"Yes, it was."

He takes you in his arms and you snuggle close to him, his arm around your waist and your head tucked under his chin and you kiss his chest.

"I have to go." he sighs.

"No," you say, and you snuggle deeper into his arms,"I will not allow you."

Tom smiles and rubs your back while pressing a kiss on your head.

"I know, I wish I could stay," he says and leans back to look at you yawning,"why don't you not stay in bed?"

"You do not mind?"

"No of course not."

Reluctantly, you let him go and your eyes follow him as he gets out of bed and puts on his clothes. Eventually he sits on the edge of the bed and you roll on your side, turning yourself towards him, Tom brushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear and leans towards you to give you a kiss.

"Go back to sleep, darling, I love you and I'll see you in three weeks."

"I love you too and do not forget to kiss your daughter goodbye."

"I wouldn't dream of it."

You keep looking at Tom as he grabs his backpack and exits your bedroom, you can hear him walking inside Lucy's nursery and how he says goodbye to her, followed by his footsteps descending the stairs and the front door being closed. You sigh deeply and wrap the sheet around your body before you get out of bed to stand before the window, you see him opening the car door and just before he steps inside he hesitates, like he knows your watching him and he turns around. You place your hand against the window and smile, seeing Tom blowing you a kiss before he gets inside and drives away. You keep standing like that for some time and eventually you go back to bed again, on his side of the bed, head on his pillow, smelling his scent and when you close your eyes it's almost as if he is still with you.


	90. chapter 86

When you wake up the next morning, it is mid-morning and you are surprised that Lucy has not yet been crying to get her feeding. You step out of bed and walk to the nursery, when you walk inside her head turns towards you immediately and when she sees you she begins to coo and stretches her arms to you. You smile and lift your daughter from her bed to lay her on your arm, you tickle her tummy and her arms swing through the air while she coos of enjoyment and De Li and Loki fly through the air. You sigh and looks at the plushies, you had been expecting she would have a favorite toy but two favorites plushies is a bit much, yet she clings to both, and the only time that Lucy does not hold them is during her feeding or her bath.

You notice changes in Lucy's behavior every day, such as her head that comes up when she lies on her stomach. You try to put Lucy more often and longer on her stomach and then you also go lying on your stomach with your face towards her. Usually Lucy's head lies on one of her cheeks, but when you mention her name she looks up and stretches her arms out to you. You always take them in turn to put her palm against your mouth and then you blow, making sure she coos with delight.

When she is lying on her back in the box or on the couch, you notice that she swings her arms back and forth while her eyes look around. De Li and Loki are frequently abandoned, though they have to be within reach, while her hands almost slide over the surface exploring. You collect some toys, a rattle, a fabric ball with a bell inside, several small fabric animals on a chain and when you hold them up she immediately stretches out her arms while an excitable little sound comes over her lips. However, just after she has taken it she lays it away and stretches her arms out to you again. She can keep this up for hours and you would be able to play with her for just as long but Oakley also needs to be taken out and whenever you go you take Lucy along in the baby carrier.

You enjoy these walks, having Lucy so close to you, close to your heart and the place where she has been for nine months, growing and protected. You rub your hand over her back and lean back to see that Lucy is sleeping, you smile and press a kiss on her head.

You also rummage in the still unpacked boxes in the attic, looking for awards that Tom has ever won to place into the glasscabinet. You find more than you knew Tom had and eventually you view the collection consisting of a Laurence Olivier Award for Best Newcomer, third prize at the Ian Charleson Awards, een Whatsonstage.com Theatregoers' Choice Award for Best Supporting Actor in Othello at the Donmar, a What's on stage award for Coriolanus an Empire Award for Best Male Newcomer in Thor, the Glamour Award for Man of the Year and of course the MTV Movie Awards for Best Fight and Best Villain for The Avengers and you also come across a card that says he's the hottest actor in Total Film. Seven, he has seven awards and with that for Coriolanus eight and ten minutes later when they're put in the glass cabinet, it is already almost full.

Every night when you're on skype with Tom you show him what you did with Lucy and every time you see the pride in his eyes and hear it in his voice, but you can also hear and see the regret.

"I hate that I'm not there, that I can not discover those things for myself and can not hold or feed or comfort her or even doing something simple like bringing her to bed or give her a goodnight kiss."

"When you get back you will stay with us for at least two months, Tom, I'm sure you also discover new things then."

"I can not wait," he says and takes his eyes off his daughter to look at you, "and I can not wait to hold you again, darling, every time I have to leave it doesn't only becomes more difficult but it seems like I miss you and Lucy more and more every time."

"I know, honey, you'd think we'd get used to it but, honestly, I do not think I will ever going to get used to saying goodbye to you."

"Just a little while longer, and then we will not only be together again but we will be off for two weeks, staying on this amazing beautiful island."

"Can't wait, speaking about that, maybe I should start packing already oh and I need to ask Emma what to bring for Lucy too."

You look at your daughter who looks with her big blue eyes to her dad and you smile when you see the recognition in them. You put your hand on her tummy before you look at Tom again. You talk a little before you say goodbye and you bring Lucy to bed. The rest of the evening you spend watching television and surfing the Internet. 

Normally you are always very cautious to make sure that you do not end up in Tom's fanbase but one evening, after a long hard day in which Lucy has done little else then crying for God knows what reason and your a lot less alert and before you know it your in a forum which is about Tom. About his films, his plays, interviews, photo shoots and much more. When you see the heading 'private' you bite your lip, you should go away right now and immediately delete Internet history but you click on the link. 

On the first few pages, however, you find pictures of Tom alone but the further you go the more pictures of you and Tom together show up. With Tom at premiere's, at award ceremonies, or just walking down the street. Most reactions are surprisingly friendly but of course there are also less friendly reactions, often accompanied by a sarcastic smiley which means that they do not mean it in a bad way. 

It seems that now, nine months after you and Tom have made public to be a couple, almost all of his fans have accepted you as his wife, the love of his life and the mother of his child.

Before you go to bed you take a peek inside Lucy's nursery and when the little girl is sleeping you smile before you go to bed.

 

When Emma is with you one afternoon, she tells you all the things you need for Lucy and you write all of it down.

"Oh and as for nutrition, I would just buy some boxes of baby powder in the supermarket, which is much more convenient than hauling all those bottles. All you have to do is add water to it so you can make it everywhere."

"Okay." you say.

You write it down and you realize you do not have all those things. Warm clothes for example, sure, you have a jacket and shoes of course, but no sweaters or warm pants, not even a scarf.

"Want to go shopping with me and Lucy?" you asks Emma.

"Of course." she laughs.

You get up and walk into the hallway to grab the stroller, Emma helps you to put it together and you're grateful for that considering that you don't have much experience with it.

After having bought several sweaters and vests, some pants and some scarfs for the little girl, you return home where Emma takes a glass of wine with you before she looks at you.

"What's bothering you?" she says.

"What do you mean?" you ask.

"Come on, y/n, I know you, you have been a little absent all day, what's on your mind?"

You sigh and set the glass of wine aside to turn to her and Emma looks at you curious.

"I'm worried about Tom."

"Why is that?"

"During The Evening Standard Awards he looked so pale, more then usual."

"Well, he did just landed from a flight of more then 10 hours, it could have been jetlag."

"I know, but while I was skyping with him this last week I noticed the same thing, he doesn't look healthy, Emma."

"He has long days of filming, you know how he is, he wants to do eveything perfect, just good is not enough for him."

"I know that but he still needs to take good care of himself, I don't want anything to happen to him."

"Nothing is going to happen to him, he will be fine. He has taken a big responsibily on his shoulders with this role and the pressure to performe is huge but I'm sure he'll be okay."

You bite your lip and Emma leans forward to take your hand making you look at her.

"Why don't you call that guy he is living with."

"Rodney?"

"Yeah, ask him if Tom has been eating okay, sleeping enough."

"That's acually a good idea, thank you, Emma."

"Sure, but I have to go now." she says.

You walk her to the front door and see her out with a kiss on the cheek before you walk back inside, you look at the clock, six in the evening and after a quick calculation you come to the conclusion it's about ten in the morning in Shreveport and you reach for your phone to call him.

"Rodney speaking." you hear.

"Hey, Rodney, it's me, y/n."

"Hey, erm, did you dail the wrong number?" he asks hasitatingly.

"What? No, no I wanted to call you, I need to talk to you."

"Okay, not that I'm not pleased to hear you because I am but to what do I owe this pleasure." he says.

"Well, actually it's about Tom." you begin.

"Tom? He is standing in front of the cameras."

"Oh that's good, would you not tell him that I called you?"

"Y/N, what's wrong? Are you okay?" Rodney asks and you hear the concern in his voice.

"Yes, I'm fine, but I am worried about Tom, over the weekend that he was here he didn't looked all that well and when I mentioned it, he waved it off, like others, as jetlag but during our conversations on Skype....I can not see any improvement, Rodney. "

"You noticed."

"Yeah, pretty hard not to."

"I know, a few weeks ago we started filming the scenes of Hank's physical deterioration, you know, when he became addicted to pills and alcohol, which leads to his death."

"Oh god." you sigh.

"I have told Tom a few times that we have people of make-up that do outstanding work, but he wants to do it as well as possible."

"I know, he's a perfectionist."

"Tell me about it, he did this scene once and it looked great on frame but when Tom saw it, he said he could do better and wanted to go again and before one of us could say something he was gone."

"That's my Tom. God that stupid method acting."

"What?"

"Method acting, it is a way of acting in which the actor as completely as possible attempts to empathize with the person he plays. The actor uses his emotions and experiences in order to be as true to life as possible."

"Okay, usually that seems fine to me but in this case it seems his health is suffering under it. Tom has became a good dear friend of me, you know that, I would not like it if anything happened to him."

"I know but it is useless to try to convince him that he should stop."

"What can I do?"

"Keep an eye on him, Rodney, that's all you can do and when you suspect that it is going wrong, then intervene."

"Okay."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

The conversation did not put your mind at ease but the fact that Rodney is now watchting him, gives you a bit more rest.

In the last days before Tom's return you are leafing through some magazine when you stumble upon a play which will be running on the day of his return. It's one of his favorites and he often quotes from it, he even promised he would take you to see it one day, it will be tight, as you are leaving on holiday the next day but since you have already packed most of your and Toms things, you don't think you will get in trouble with the timing. When you talk to Tom, he is enthusiastic, just as you thought, and he wants you to see it. You order a ticket for a Box at the Royal Theatre so you will at least have some privacy and which you collect on arrival.

On the day of his return, his flight is delayed, and you decide to meet at the theater and when Amelia arrives to babysit Lucy, you take a cab to the theater. Tom is already waiting and as soon as he sees you sitting in the cab, he walks up to the edge of the pavement to open the door. You are wearing a simple dress that flares from the hips, and when you exit and see Tom you immediately embrace him. You feel his arms slip around your waist and he presses you close to him, when you release him your surprised to see that he's wearing a suit.

"Purchased at the airport, it's after all the Royal Theatre, so." he explains.

"Okay, come on."

You lace your fingers with those of Tom and together you walk in, it is crowded in the lobby and after you have picked up your ticket and someone from the theatre takes you to the box, everybody knows that Tom Hiddleston and his wife are there. The usher shows you the box and to make sure nobody bothers you, the door is locked and when you walk through your red velvet curtains you swallow once. There are two large velvet chairs with a table between them and the carpet itself is of a deep cobalt blue. You only notice that you are standing still when you feel Tom's hand on your lower back.

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yes, fine, I just ... I've never been in a theater box before."

"Sit down."

You nod and Tom leads you to the chair that is closest to the stage, he himself sits down in the other chair. You stretch your neck out so you can look over the railing and look down the room full of people, some looking up to you in the minutes before the play starts to catch a glimpse of Tom.

Your eyes go to the stage and when the play begins you focus on the actors on stage. Even during the performance some people look up and Tom waves to them and then he looks at the play again. Your completly immersed by it when Tom suddenly caresses your cheek gently.

"I've missed you so much."

You turn your head to him to say that you missed him too but when you see the look in his eyes the words die before they reach your lips. His gaze is lustfully, hungry, desiring and when he licks his lips and you see movement your eyes go down and what you see ensures a wave of desire rolls through your body. He is hard, really hard, and when Tom lays his hand against it, you see that the top presses against the fabric, threatening to break through it. Subconsciously you lick your lips when Tom slowly moves his hand up and down and you twist on your chair.

"I wish I could fuck you, right here, right now."

"We can not," you say softly and look at him, "the people, they ..."

"Are watching, I know, but I have not seen you for so long," the pleading tone in his voice makes you doubt,"please give me something."

"And what about the play, then?"

"Fuck the play, I know it by heart, I'll tell you how it ends."

You look at the people below, some of which occasionally still look up.

"Please, y/n ...."

You look at him and nod slowly, his lips curling up into a smile.

"Pull your dress up."

You nod and look at the hem of your dress.

"No, stay watching the play, we do not want to arouse suspicion when the people look up, they will not see what we are doing, y/n. No one can know, just us."

You nod and look at the stage while you come up slightly to push it over your buttocks. When you sit back, you spread your legs as far apart as possible and you feel Tom's eyes slide down over your body.

"Fuck, I wish I could touch you but ..... the table would have to be out of the way and that would attract attention. Touch yourself, push your knickers sideways and touch yourself for me."

You let a hand move over your thigh, closer and closer to your intimate place and when your finger slowly pushes aside your knickers you let a finger slip through your folds and Tom moans softly at the sight. You let your finger move up and down a few times before caresses your clit and you bite your lip to keep a groan inside.

"Fuck, that looks so horny, babe."

You push a finger inside and your hips come loose from the seat, the finger is soon followed by a second, and the fact that Tom looks at you, is watching how your fingers pump your pussy, excites you enormously. You lick your lips while your fingers pump inside you and when you hear a zipper being pulled down you stop.

"Are you touching yourself?"

"How can I not, seeing you like this, so exciting, I have to."

When Tom breaths shakily you know he taken himself in hand and is pumping his shaft gently. The thought of it, of those magnificent long thin fingers curled around that delicious cock makes you even more aroused and your fingers in you cunt move faster.

"Does it feel good?" He questions gasping.

"Yeah, so good."

"Fuck, I'm sure it does, I wish it were my fingers, pushing in your dripping wet pussy, being sucked in, or my cock, he's so hard for you, my fingers don't even feel nearly as soft and warm as your cunt always does around it."

"Shit, Tom. You know what it does to me when you talk like that."

"Yes, I know, but it's just ..... Are you close?"

"Yes."

"I can hear it by your breathing, fuck I wish I could feel your muscles clench around my fingers, you feel it?"

"Yes..."

"Feels so damn good, so hot."

"Tom..."

"I'm close too..... look down, look at the people, darling."

You do what he says, and when you see two or three people watching you, you feel an orgasm rolling through your body, you shake and tremble on your chair.

"Are they still looking?"

"Yeah."

"Give me your hand."

"What?"

"Give me your hand."

You do what he says and give him your hand that is covered in your juices, slowly he brings it to his mouth, and the people down probably think he kisses your hand, but you feel his tongue sliding over your skin, licking your juices.   
Meanwhile, he is still masturbating his cock and his breathing falters, when you look sideways, you see no one watching and on a whim you slide from your chair and swallow him all the way. Tom smothers a curse and his fingers slip into you hair, grabbing it tightly to keep you in your place while you feel his cock twitch in your mouth. You swallow everything he has to give and when he is empty you look at him through you eyelashes, full-blown dark eyes look at you and his lips form a thin white line to prevent noise escaping. You smile around his deflated cock and let it gently fall out of your mouth and you fall back against the banister which keeps you just hidden from view.

"Fucking Hell y/n....."

Tom's breathing is hurried and you bite your lip.

"I had to do something to prevent your seed would defile your suit, what would the people think?" you say and nod your head to where they are and you have to stiffle a laugh when he smiles politly to some of them.

"I can't believe we really did that," you say,"are you developping a kink for sex in public?" you ask.

"Maybe. Thank you, really."

Tom smiles and he reaches out his hand to you and pulls you towards him, he gives you a quick kiss before you sit back in your chair and he closes his trousers again. 

Because some old friends of Tom from RADA were in the play you decide to say hello, and before you know it Tom is surrounded by his old schoolmates who ask him everything about his role in Coriolanus and congratulate him on his nomination, hoping he wins and how much he deserves it.

It is at the end of the evening when you come home and find Amelia watching TV in the living room, she looks up when you enter and while Tom takes your coat and hangs it with his, you already walk into the living room.

"Hi, sorry we're late."

"That does not matter." she says.

"Has everything gone well?"

"Yeah, fine, I put Lucy to bed three hours ago, it was hard to get her to sleep, probably because it was the first time it happened without you and Tom but I managed."

Then suddenly you hear a dull thud coming from the hallway and you turn your head.

"Tom?" you say but you get no answer,"Tom?"

You walk towards the hall and stop when you see him leaning against the door, explaining the thud you heard, one hand is clutching the doorknob and the other on his chest.

"I don't feel so good..."

"Tom, what is it?"

Your frightened and take his hand which is on his chest and to your dismay you feel it shaken.

"Come sit down."

You want to take him to the livingroom but after two steps he suddenly staggers and his grip on your hand tightens intensely, so intensely that it almost hurts.

"I can't...." He swallows laboriously and almost gasps for breath.

"You can't what?"

Again he gasps for breath before his hand slips from yours and he collapses to the ground. You scream and immediately place your hand over your mouth to avoid alarming Lucy, you kneel down next to Tom and frame his face with your hands.

"Tom?" no answer,"Tom, please, open your eyes, honey, look at me."

You start crying and you bend over to put your ear above his mouth, he still breathes though it is very weak, then you feel his pulse, which is barely there and your sobbing becomes louder.

"No, no please, do not do this to me, Tom, I beg you, come back to me, come back to Lucy, we need you, do not leave me, I can not..."


	91. chapter 87

Suddenly you hear someone gasp behind you and you turn your head to see Amelia standing there.

"God what happened?"

"I don't....he collapsed."

"What?"

"Can you call the hospital please?"

"Of course."

She runs into the livingroom to call the ambulance while Oakley has joined you and sits down beside Tom, he licks his face but when Tom does not respond, he lays his head on his chest and whines softly as he looks at you.

"I know, Oakley but it'll be fine," you say,"he will be fine, he has too."

Waiting for the ambulance seems to take and you clamp his hand in yours. You feel tears rolling down your cheeks but you don't wipe them away, you don't want to let go of Tom's hand, you can't. Waiting for the ambulance seems to take forever but when you finally hear the sirens you look up and then you look at Tom again.

"The ambulance is here, I'm just going outside to get them but I'll be right nack, okay?" 

You lean forward and kiss his forehead before you stand up and open the door to run outside. You wave your arms and when they stop two paramedics immediately jump out and carry a stretcher to the house. When the men kneel next to Tom, you follow them with your eyes and Oakley starts to growl in his throat when they lift him onto the stretcher and he begins to bark and stomping his feet as though he wants to protect his master. You grab Oakley by this collar and guide him into the livingroom but you having a hard time keeping him there, Oakley seems determend to get to his master making sure they don't harm him and when Amelia comes down again you look at her.

"Amelia,"you say and she looks at you,"take him to the garden please, and could you stay here? With Lucy? I want to go with Tom."

"Of course."

"I'm so sorry about this."

"Don't be please, just go with Tom, I'll be fine."

"Thank you."

You follow the paramedics and climb into the back while he is busy applying a drip and to measure his vital signs.

"What's wrong with him?" you ask.

The paramedic raises his finger to indicate that you have to be quiet so he can listen to his heartbeat so you take his hand in yours and make small circles on the back, like he does with you so often. When he is ready he places an oxygen mask on Tom's face and squeezes in a transparent balloon attached to it.

"I don't know, what precisely happend?"

"He said he didn't feel well and it seemed like he could not breathe, and then he collapsed."

The paramedic nods and it frustrates you that he can not tell you what's going on with Tom but you know they are only there to keep him alive and deliver him to the hospital so they can examine what happened and why. When the ambulance reaches the hospital he is wheeled out and straight into a treatment room, while the paramedics inform the doctors.

"Ma'am, you can not stay here." someone says.

"I'm not leaving my husband."

"You don't have to but the doctors need space, let them do their job, your husband is in good hands."

You look to Tom again, who has know all but disappeared behind the doctors who stand around his bed examining him and slowly you let yourself be led from the treatment room and into the hallway. You sit on a chair and put your hands in your lap.

"Ma'am?"

"What?" you ask and look up at the nurse.

"Can I get you anything? Coffee, water ...?"

"No, no I'm fine."

"Okay."

Suddenly, tears well up in your eyes and the nurse sits down on her knees before you, taking your hands in hers.

"Is there anyone you can call? To be with you?"

You nod and smile weakly at her before she gets up and walks away. Your eyes go to the door behind which the doctors work on Tom to find out what happened and then you remember that you do not have your phone with you. You would rather stay with Tom but you can not get to him now anyway so you get up and walk over to the counter. The friendly nurse looks at you and pushes the phone to you. You hesitate who to call, preferably you'd call Emma but she's obviously busy with Levi and Jason at this time in the evening, so you call Diana, she is his mother and she should know what happened.

"Hi, it's me." you say, your voice shaking through the tears.

"Y/N, what's wrong, what happened?"

"Tom, uh....he is in hospital."

"He what?" she says, panicking.

"He collapsed after he came home, you should come."

"I'm on my way." she says.

You walk back to where you were before, and sit down again, your eyes slide to the door that is closed and you start playing nervously with the hem of your shirt. The minutes seem to drag by and all of a sudden you hear someone calling your name. You look up and see Diana come running towards you, followed on her heels by James. You get up and when you see the anxiety and worry in her eyes you feel the tears coming again and before you know it they roll down your cheeks. Diana embraces you immediately and you answer her embrace. For a moment you stand like that, her hands gently rubbing your back while you cry on her shoulder, and eventually you let go. You rub your wet eyes and look at James when he holds up a tissue for you.

"Thank you." you say.

"What happened?" he asks.

"He could not breathe, and then I took his hand and he was shaking and..... he suddenly collapsed and....."

You need to stop talking because you almost begin to hyperventilate and James lays an arm around your waist and leads you to a chair. You sit down and Diana and James flank you before Diana takes your hands in hers and you look at her.

"Just breathe, nice and easy."

You nod and do what she says, and eventually you become calm again.

"Okay, go on."

"His breathing and his heartbeat was so weak, I could barely find them."

You press your lips together and shake your head, again tears from in your eyes and Diana lays an arm around your shoulder to comfort you.

"He has to come back to me and Lucy because if he doesn't then..."

"No, do not think like that, he would never leave you and Lucy, never. Remember that y/n, Tom will always come back to his girls."

"He calls us that sometimes, his girls, I like it when he calls us that."

"Of course you do." Diana says.

Suddenly the door opens and you stand up, just like Diana and James.

"Mrs. Hiddleston?" he asks.

"Yes that's me,"you say, and step forward,"how is he?"

"Stable, for now," he says while the blinds are opened and your eyes look through the window and you walk towards it to place your hand on it,"Mrs Hiddleston, your husband was severely dehydrated and malnourished."

You close your eyes and lay your forehead against the glass, you are not surprised with the diagnosis.

"You do not seem very surprised." the doctor says, voicing your thoughts.

"No I'm not," you say, and open your eyes again to look at Tom,"he was busy filming a movie about a country singer who died of excessive use of drugs and alcohol, he was also very malnourished and dehydrated before he died and Tom....well,"you say and turn around to look at the doctor,"let's just say that he always wants to come as close as possible to the real thing."

"If he would have been brought in half an hour later he was going to follow that singer." the doctor says.

You shudder at the thought and you turn around to look at Tom again briefly before you turn to the doctor again.

"And what happens now?"

"We will keep him asleep for the next 48 hours, so that his body can recover undisturbed, he gets food with extra nutrients, such as protein and energy for the malnutrition every three hours and moisture for the dehydration."

"Can I see him?"

"Of course."

You nod and look at his parents but they give you the opportunity to first go inside to give you some time alone with Tom. You step inside and close the door behind you and when you look in front of you, your breath falters in your throat at what you see. Tom lies under a sheet and his skin is almost as white, he is connected to a heart monitor and he has a drip in his arm and another tube disappears into his nose through which he is fed. The only sounds in the room are the beeps of the heart monitor and the drip of the IV in his arm.

You sigh shakily and gradually walk over to the bed, you take his hand in yours and lace your fingers together as you move your other hand to his face. You stroke his cheek and then you let your thumb move over his lips before you bend over and give him a kiss and your shocked to find his lips are so cold. His hair is combed straight back, and you slip your fingers in it, tossing it a bit so that some locks fall over his forehead and you smile.

You look around you and see a chair and without letting go of Tom's hand you pull it towards you and sit down. You slide the chair to the bed as close as possible and bring Tom's hand to your mouth to press a kiss on it. 

"What were you thinking, Tom? I know you always want to do everything perfect but you need to take care of yourself too, not only for yourself but also for me, for Lucy, for our little girl that needs her father to get better and to get home so he can hold her and play with her and kiss her goodnight and sing for her."

You get no reaction from Tom and you sigh, seeing the love of your life like this, being fed through a tube, getting moisture trough an IV breaks your heart. Not much later, the door opens and you look over your shoulder to see Diana and James coming in. You get up but Diana gestures that you should sit and slowly you sit down again.

As she walks along the bed you see that Diana has taken James's hand firmly and you're glad she finds the support from him that she needs. She cups her son's cheek and leans over to kiss him on his forehead.

"He looks so poorly," Diana sighs,"oh, my poor boy."

"He is being treated," James says,"remember that he is kept asleep, it's for his own good."

Diana nods and slips a hand through his hair before she straightens up and looks at you.

"Although I would much rather stay here, the doctor said he needs rest to recover, so James and I will go back home, just promis me you will keep us informed."

"Of course."

"Where is Lucy?"

"At home with Amelia, the neighbor across the street, she is in good hands."

"Okay, I'll call Emma and tell her what happened."

"Okay."

During the first 24 hours Emma, Diana and James come by to see how Tom is and they all try to convince you to eat something in the cafeteria of the hospital and despite the fact that his condition is steadily improving, you refuse to leave him so they bring food to you. On the morning of the second day you sit beside his bed, fingers weaved into his and your other hand on his cheek while the door slowly opens and you look up. When you see who is walking in you stand up surprised.

"Ben, Sophie, what are you doing here?"

"Are you kidding? When we heard what happened I had to come." Ben says.

He comes over to you and gives you a hug before Sophie does the same and he looks at his friend in the hospital bed.

"God, what happened?" he asks.

You can hear the distress in his voice and you realize that the bond of frienship between Ben and Tom is deeper then you thought.

"Uhm...he collapsed right after he came home from filming."

"You mean that movie about Hank Williams?"

"Yeah,"you say and slowly sit down again while Sophie pulls another chair up to sit and Ben does the same at the other side of his friend,"I told you something was wrong during the Evening Standard Awards, Sophie, that he looked to pale."

Sophie nods and takes your free hand in yours.

"I'm so sorry, y/n."

"For what?"

"For pushing it aside, for saying it was jetlag or lack of sleep."

"You couldn't know this would happen, Sophie," you say and then look at Ben,"have you ever done something like that?"

"No, well, there was one part I had to lose weight for but I had this consultant on set....didn't Tom have one of those?"

"Probably but you know Tom, he wants to do it as perfectly as he can."

"Yeah, stupid arse."

"Ben." Sophie says, shocked.

"Sorry, I'm sorry I just, God, when I heard what happened...."he shakes his head and looks at you,"how are you?"

"I'm fine, or I will be once he opens his eyes again."

"Hopefully he does so soon."

"Well, they will keep him asleep for at least another 24 hours, but his situation should improve with every passing hour."

You talk some more before Ben and Sophie say goodbye to you and when Emma joins you later that day, curled up ina chair on the other side and holding her brother's other hand she looks at you.

"What about your vacation?" she suddenly asks.

"What?"

"Your vacation."

"Oh god, I completely forgot about that," you say,"but Tom made the reservation, I have no idea how to contact them. I don't even remember the name of the island only that it's somewhere along the coast of Italy."

"Why don't you go home, take a shower, change clothes, at least go see Lucy. She is undoubtedly confused about why she has not seen you and Tom for a whole day."

You look at Tom and you know she's right, even though you do not have much appetite for a shower or clean clothes, you would like to see and hold Lucy.

"You know he will sleep for at least another 20 hours."

"Promise me you'll stay with him." you say.

"I promise you that I will not leave his side."

You nod and stand up to give him a kiss, and then you give Emma a hug before you walk away.

Fifteen minutes later, the taxi drops you off in front of your house and instead of walking towards it, you walk up to Amelia's house and when your halfway, the door swings open and little Anna runs to you and her arms clamp around your waist while she places her chin on your stomach to look at you. You frame her face with your hands and smile weakly at her while leaning down and giving her a kiss on her head. She then lets you go to grab your hand and when you look up Amelia stands in the doorway with Lucy in her arms. As soon as your daughter sees you she stretches out her arms to you and you walk up to her to take her.

"How's Tom?" she asks.

"His condition improves every hour." you say.

"Oh that's good to hear, come in."

You walk in and sit down on the sofa, you hug Lucy for a few minutes while Ameila makes tea and then she sits down next to you.

"What happened?"

You tell her what happened and why Tom suddenly collapsed, you also tell her how he is being treated and that for the next 24 hours they will keep him sedated. When you stop talking you yawn and Amelia looks at you with concern.

"Have you slept the last 24 hours?"

"Barely." your answer apologetic.

"You can sleep a bit here." she says.

"No, my house is across the street," you say,"and besides, I don't want to be away from Tom for too long."

"I understand, a bath, then?" she suggests.

"A bath sounds heavenly." you say.

"It's upstairs, second door on the left," she says,"and take your tea with you."

You look gratefully at Amelia before you walk upstairs and into the bathroom and you place a small table next to the tub where you put your cup on. You turn on the taps and let some vanilla bubble bath drip in the water before you take off your clothes. Slowly you let yourself slide into hot water. When you sit you sigh deeply and put your head backwards on the rim while your thoughts go to Tom at the hospital. Tom who is connected to a heart monitor and is administered with food and is kept asleep to let his body recover.

While you are lying in the warm water, you notice all of a sudden how tired you are, you have had a little sleep in the last 24 hours but a chair is not the ideal piece of furniture to sleep in and your back protests when you sit upright to get you tea. When you drank it you lie back again and you close your eyes.

When you open your eyes again, you notice that the water is cold and you sit up with a jerk making the water almost sloshing over the side. You step out and then quickly pull your clothes on to run downstairs and into the living room.

"How long have I been asleep?" you say.

Amelia comes walking out of the kitchen with Lucy on her arm and Anna looks up from her drawing board.

"About an hour."

"Why did you not wake me, I should have been in the hospital already!"

You sit on the couch and pull your shoes on while Amelia sits down beside you.

"Y/N, I've left you alone because you also need sleep. When Tom wakes up you will be of no use when you're exhausted."

You stop putting on your shoes and sit up straight, smiling you look at her.

"Yes that is true." you say.

You zip up your boots and take Lucy from Amelia, you hug her and kiss her cheek.

"I must return to the hospital, sweetheart," you say, and then look at Amelia, "could you take care of her a little longer?"

"Of course."

"Thank you, I really would not know what I'd do without you..."

"Y/N, it is a delight to take care of this sweet little girl, she's always welcome here." she says and tickles Lucy's belly, making her coo with delight.

You say goodbye to them and 15 minutes later, when you arrive at the hospital your phone rings, Emma.

"Emma? Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine, where are you?"

"I just arrived."

"Okay, hurry up, the doctors want to discuss something with you."

"Okay."

You run as fast as you can to the second floor and when you're in the right aisle you can see Emma talking to two doctors, they look at you when they see you and you look at them quizzically.

"Mrs. Hiddleston, we would like to talk to you."

"Is Tom all right?"

"Yes, everything is fine but would you want to follow us?"

"You can also say it here, Emma is his sister, she will hear what you have to say anyway."

The doctors look at each other before they nod and start.

"We have closely monitored the condition of your husband and he recovers faster than we expected." one says.

"We want to wake him up later today." the other continues.

"Really?" you ask.

"Yes, it is a slow process that will take several hours, he gets a certain amount of a medication administered every hour, and every hour a little more."

"How long will it take before he wakes up?" Emma asks.

"Between five and eight hours."

"That long?"

"If we let him wake up to quickly the brains may not be able to handle it and your husband can have a relapse."

"Okay, I understand, when do you want to start?"

"In about an hour, if we see signs that he is about to wake up, we will stop the treatment and we will leave you alone so you can talk to him so that he only hears your voice and hearing loved ones always stimulates the patient to open their eyes."

"And it is always shown that when patients wake up they are disorientated and sometimes even get into a panic, and when the patient sees and hears a loved one it always calms them down."

"Okay."

"While we prepare everything for the treatment, you have a moment to see him, we'll let you know when we're ready."

You nod while the doctors walk away and you look at Emma.

"No, you go ahead, I'll wait here for you."

You nod and slowly walk into his room, you walk over to the bed and lace your fingers with Tom's while bending over and kissing him and your surprised when his lips seem to feel slightly warmer then when you left. You sit on the edge of the bed and place your free hand on his cheek, softly rubbing his cheekbone while you look at him.

"They're going to start a treatment to wake you up, Tom," you say, and bring his hand to your mouth to place a kiss there,"and if all goes well you'll ake up and then you will be with me again, and with Lucy."

After some time one of the doctors come into the room and inject the drug, they will repeat this until they see signs Tom is going to wake up. He also removes the tube that goes into his mouth but he stays connected to the heart monitor. By evening and after you have sat down in the chair ext to his bed, Emma walks in and picks up Tom's other hand.

"I wish I could stay but I have to pick up Jason and Levi from school and Dean also comes home in about an hour."

"Of course, give them my regards."

"Will do."

She leans over and kisses Tom on his cheek before she walks around the bed and gives you a kiss.

"Keep me posted."

"Of course."

"Want me to call Mom? To keep you company?"

"No, I think it's better if she and James come in when Tom is awake."

"Okay."

Not long after Emma said goodbye one of the doctors come the room and checks the heart monitor and when he utters a satisfied sound you look at him while he looks at Tom, and then to you.

"I think he's ready."

"Really?"

"Yes, but it may take some time before he wakes up, so don't panic, okay. I recommend you to talk to him from now regularly and also physical contact can encourage him to wake up."

You nod and wait until the doctor is gone before you take off your shoes and lie down next to Tom on your side, head supported by your hand and your other hand you lace with his on his stomach.

"I need you to wake up for me, Tom, I need you to open your eyes, please, I want to see your beautiful blue eyes."

You lean over and kiss his neck and gently work your way up to his cheek and you end up at his lips. You detach your fingers from his and cup his cheek so that you can turn his face to you.

"I love you, I love you and I'm waiting for you, Lucy is also waiting for you, for her father she has not seen for so long."

In the next couple of hours you keep talking to him but because you don't really know what to say you often repeat things, that you love him and that your waiting for him and that Lucy is waiting too, that she needs her father just as much as you need your husband.


	92. chapter 88

In between you also manage to get some sleep and when you, at one point, lie awake, head on his shoulder, your eyes see the rings that made you husband and wife, binding you together, shining in the light of the lamp hanging above his bed and just when you want to close your eyes, his fingers twitch around yours and you look up.

"Tom?"

No response and you slide up and rest on your elbow while looking intently at his eyes and you frown your eyebrows. His eyelids, you see the movements that his eyes make under the eyelids, which you have not seen before, and just when you want to say his name again, you hear a hitch in his breath.

"Y/N..." you hear softly.

You look at him, you want to get your fingers out of his but his grip strengthens on yours while he softly says your name again.

"I'm here, baby, I'm with you."

Suddenly he gasps for breath and his eyes are open wide, his breathing is hurried and you see the panic in his blue eyes while his fingers clutch yours tightly and even the heartmonitor starts beeping faster. 

"Y/N..."

"I'm righr here, just breath."

You sit up a little so you can move into his eyesight and when he looks at you, you smile at him.

"Take a deep breath."you say. 

Tom keeps looking at you while he tries to take deep breaths and after some time you manage to loosen your hand from his grip and your fingers weave trough his hair.

"Deep breaths." you encourage him.

When Tom's breathing is normal again and the heartmonitor is beeping normally his hand reaches out for you. When his fingers touch your skin you smile at him.

"Y/N, what's going on? What happened?" 

"Your in the hospital, Tom."

"What?"

"You remember how you got here?"

Tom closes his eyes and tries to concentrate before he opens them again.

"I remember coming home and you were in the hall with me and you wanted to take me to Lucy, then everything got dark."

"That was two days ago."

"What? I've been sleeping for two days?" he says unbelieving.

"Yeah, you were severely malnourished and dehydrated, the doctors have kept you asleep for two days so your body could recover. The doctor told me that if you were brought in half an hour later......"

Suddenly you feel tears in your eyes and you look away, your fingers pluck the sheet, and when you feel Tom's finger under your chin to lift your face you close your eyes, making them roll down your cheeks.

"Darling, look at me." he says.

You sigh deeply and open your eyes to look at him.

"Please, do not cry." he says and wipes your tears away.

"Then do not scare me like that ever again, Tom, when you collapsed in front of my eyes, I could hardly find a heartbeat and you were baraly breathing, I was so scared."

Your sobbing turns into crying and immediately Tom's arm circles your shoulder and he pulls you close against him and your arms slide around his waist.

"Shh, it's okay, I'm okay, I'm so very sorry that I scared you like that, that was never my intention, darling." he says, weaving his fingers through your hair.

"I know," you sob into his neck,"I could have lost you, Lucy could have lost her father, you can't leave us, we need you in our lives."

"I know, I'm so sorry."

Tom lets your cry on his shoulder, and when you are calm again you take a deep breath.

"I admire your passion with which your approach each character you play, and I support you in any decision but this role was almost your death, Tom. You got that method acting pushed too far."

"Apparently, I just wanted to play as well as possible."

"I know but your health should not suffer from it."

"You're right, I'll pay more attention."

"Promise me."

"I promise."he says and kisses your temple.

"I should probably get a doctor to check you out,"you say and look at him,"how about I call your mom and dad to tell them your awake, they will probably want to come cause your mom was very upset when she was here, I can ask them to pick up Lucy if you want."

"Sounds great."

"Okay."

You slowly sit up and pull your shoes back on and when you slide off the bed Tom takes your hand and you look at him.

"I am really sorry." he says.

"I know, just don't let it happen again."

"I won't."

You give him a kiss before you walk out the room and notify a doctor. While he examines Tom you look through the window and call Diana and as you thought she immediately wants to come. You also ask them to pick up Lucy because Tom would like to see her and they are more then happy to do so. You also call Emma to tell her that Tom is awake and you can hear the relief in her voice.

When you hang up, the doctor just walks out Tom's room, he looks at you and smiles.

"And?"

"He seems to be as healthy as can be."

"Seems?"

"We'd like to keep him another 24 hours for observation."

"Okay," you say, and when the doctor turns around, you remember something,"oh doctor, we had a vacation planned in Italy, actually we already should have been there. You think it is still safe to go?"

"If he comes through next 24 hours okay, I would not know why not, he just needs to make sure he gets plenty of rest, drinks enough water and he eats healthly, then he will be fine."

"Thank you."

After the doctor has left, you walk into the room again and Tom places his hands beside him so that he can push himself up, but because he is still very weak, it causes him more trouble than he expected. You see him struggle and rush to his bedside to help him.

"Slow down, you're still very weak." you say.

"Thank you." Tom breathes out when he's sitting upright.

The doctor has removed his drip but he is still attached to the heart monitor. He makes room so you can sit next to him and you don't hesitate. You sit down on the bed, head on his collarbone and hand around his waist while one of his arms slips around your shoulders and gently caresses your upperarm, fingers of his other hand laced with yours on his stomach.

"Besides your father, mother and Emma even Ben and Sophie have been to visit."

"Really?"

"Hm."

When you close your eyes you notice again how tired you are and of course Tom notices it too.

"Please tell me you have not spent the full 48 hours next to my bed."

"Hmm, the first 24 hours I have been with you, I just could not leave you."

"You also need to think about your health." he says.

"I did, I made them bring me food and drinks and besides, would you have left me?"

"Absolutely not."

"There you go, but this morning Emma was here and she convinced me that I should go home to Lucy, so after her promise that she would stay with you I did. Amelia even allowed me to use her bath so she could keep watching Lucy. You know, Amelia really has been indispensable in recent months, being willing to watch Lucy and Oakley on a moment's notice."

"I know."

"Anyway, some flowers and a thank you does not seem enough."

"Don't the children have holidays now?" Tom suddenly asks.

"I think so, why?"

"We can ask them to go with us to Ponza, if they want and if there is still a cabin available."

"Are you serious?" you ask and look at him.

"Yes, why not, we can go our own way in the daytime and in the evening we can have dinner together."

"I can ask." you say as you yawn.

"It will be awhile before mom and dad will be here, try to get some sleep, darling."

"If you try the same." you mumble.

"Sure."

He pulls you closer to him making you sigh content, for the first time since he collapsed you allow yourself to fully relax before you close your eyes while his fingers weave through your hair and it does not take long before you fall into a deep sleep.

You wake up when you feel tickling in your neck and you try to turn away from it but when you hear a familiar cooing sound your eyes slowly open. You smile when you see two bright blue eyes looking back at you and an arm that reaches out for you. Slowly you come up and you take Lucy's little hand to press a kiss on it. Her other arm is around Tom's neck and her head against his chin while Tom has an arm around his daughter to keep her against him.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"Two hours." Tom says.

"That long?"

"You needed it, darling."

"Where are your parents?"

"After they have brought Lucy and I had spoken with them they left as not to wake you."

"That's sweet of them." you say.

You sigh pleased and look at your daughter while she sucks on her hand and her head is resting against Tom's chin and when he kisses the top of her head she stretches her arm out to him and Tom kisses her palm before he blows against it, making Lucy coo of delight. You laugh too and put your head back on his collarbone and after a moment your eyes become heavy again.

"Y/N?"

"Hm?"

"Why don't you go home?"

"Are you trying to get rid of me?" you joke.

"Of course not, but you are obviously tired, you need a few hours of sleep in a bed and so do I, the sooner I get it the sooner I can get out of here."

"Oh, that reminds me, I told the doctor that we had planned a holiday, he finds it no problem to go."

"Well, that's good. I have a note in my backpack with the details of the resort on it, maybe you can call first to ask if our cabin is still available, we were expected to have checked in two days ago. "

"And if the cabin is no longer available?"

"Then we'll just find something else, I don't really care where we are as long as I have my two favorite girls with me, that's all I need."

"I like it when you call us that." you say.

Tom smiles and kisses your lips briefly.

"I can ask if they have a cabin for Amelia and Ethan, if they want to come with us."

"Good idea, and I bought a present for you."

"What?"

"Well, I really wanted to be there when you would see it but ..... it a pair of cowboy boots."

"Really?" you say and look at him.

"Yes, the boots you were wearing in Shreveport looked so sexy on you and I was sorry that you had to hand them back and when I came across a pair I bought them for you."

"Thank you."

You come up slightly to kiss him just when the doctor comes in. He smiles and looks at Tom's results.

"I think he can go home tomorrow."

"That is great." you say.

"I'll make the papers in order and make sure they are at the desk tomorrow morning."

"Thank you."

After the doctor has left, Tom turns your face towards him but before you can do anything, he leans forward and kisses you deeply, you kiss him back and after you release each other he lays his head against yours.

"God, I missed kissing you." he sighs.

"I missed you too, never do this to me ever again, please."

"I will not."

"Well, I'm going to go home, ask Amelia and Ethan if they want to go with us, and then I'll call the resort. I will also already pack some clothes."

"I have ordered tickets, maybe you can still rebook, the details are also in my backpack."

"Okay."

You slowly sit up and pull your boots on before you slide off the bed and turn around. Lucy has now fallen asleep in her father's arms and you smile while looking at her. You walk around the bed and Tom gives her a kiss before you take her gently in your arms, the little girl whimpers a little, but soon she is silent and sleeps on. You gently lean over and give Tom a kiss.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow morning."

"Okay. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

When you get home you decide to first ask Amelia if she and Ethan want to come with you to Ponza. You sit on the couch and Anna is still busy with coloring.

"Amelia, I first want to say that in the last few weeks, maybe even months you were indispensable, your willingness to look after Lucy and Oakley at a moment's notice," Ameilia wants to say something, but you hold your hand up to stop her, "no, let me finish, how you helped me during my pregnancy when Tom wasn't here, you've introduced me to everyone in the neighborhood and you have ensured that I got this true 'Mary Poppins' to help me right after Lucy's birth. Tom and I find that some flowers or chocolates are not enough to thank you. We had planned to go on a holiday, to Ponza, off the coast of Italy, we are still going once Tom comes out of the hospital tomorrow and we would like it very much if you Ethan and the children would join us. We will pay for the tickets and the cabin."

You look at Amelia who looks at you with wide eyes, her mouth opens and closes but no sound comes out and you smile.

"Are you okay?" you ask.

"Yes, yes, I'm fine, but y/n, I....I can not accept this, it is too expensive."

"Yeah, well, money is not really a problem." you say.

"Yes, but then again, I....I have plans for Christmas, I give a Christmas dinner every year for family and friends, which I can not cancel."

"That's okay, Tom and I will stay there until January 6th, you can come afterwards, we can buy you a ticket with an open date, you decide when you come."

"Oh, y/n, this really is....I can not believe it." Amelia says.

You see that she has tears in her eyes, and when she sniffs Anna looks at her mother and the girl abandons her colouring right away to hug her mother.

"Why are you sad, mommy?" she asks.

"I'm not sad, I...." Amelia loosens herself from her daughter and looks at her, "we are going on a holiday."

Anna's eyes become wide and her mouth opens wide.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. After Christmas we are going to take a plane to a nice warm island."

Anna gives a squeal of pleasure making Oakley bark and Lucy begins to cry a little and Anna puts her hand over her mouth.

"Y/N and Tom invited us." Amelia says.

Anna looks at you and immediately she gives you a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"We are going on holiday!" she shouts.

She begins running through the house excited, you and Amelia laugh at her and when she drops herself into a chair Amelia says your name and you look at her.

"Thank you, the last time we had a holiday was before Jacob was born. And often it was an RV or rickety house, it was the only thing we could afford."

"You will love it, it has white beaches, an abundance of shops and restaurants, there are forests. Talk to Ethan about it and let us know when you can come, we can book tickets and a cottage for you."

"Okay."

 

When you walk into your house not much later you immediately see Tom's backpack lying with a separate bag next to it and you wonder why you have not seen that on that evening but really you were so happy Tom was home and when he .....you sigh deeply and decide to first take Lucy to bed. Then you, pick up the backpack and the bag and walk up the stairs again, you put the backpack on the bed and in addition to the bag where a shoe box is in. You open the lid and smile when you see the boots, they are almost the same as the boots you were wearing in Shreveport and you sit on the bed to put them on. They fit perfectly and feel even better and when you look in the mirror you have to admit they look good on you. You put them next to your bed before you change and go to sleep.

 

The next day, you ensure that you're up early so you have enough time to shower, feed Lucy, walk Oakley and call the resort and the airline. Your cabin is still available and you also book a cabin for Amelia and Ethan.

Around half past nine you walk into the hospital and you are pleasantly surprised when you see Tom walking in the hallway with the doctor.

"Hey." you say.

"Hey, sweetheart." he says.

He walks up to you and despite the rest he got you see that he is not yet very steady on his legs. You walk up to him and lay an arm around his waist and his moves around your shoulder. He leans forward and gives his daughter a kiss and then you.

"The papers are signed, you can take him home." the doctor says.

You thank the doctor and he walks away before Tom leans down.

"Those boots are very sexy on you." he says and you chuckle.

"Thank you for them, I love them."

"Good, let's get out of here, take me home."

You help Tom get to the lift and then into the car, you tell him that your suitcases are packed and Amelia and Ethan come to Ponza after Christmas. He is happy that they have accepted the offer and when you walk into the house Oakley comes running to Tom barking loudly and wagging his tail, he jumps against him and Tom slowly get's down on his knees to pet him.

"Hey, buddy, I've missed you too." he says.

After he stands upright he follows you into the room and you put Lucy in her cradle you look at him.

"Do you want to lie down before we go?"

"Oh god no, I have slept for almost two days, I could use a shower, though."

"Okay, I figured you wanted to take a shower so your things are still in the shower down here, and there are two towels. Our suitcases need only to be brought down. Our plane leaves in four hours."

"So we have at least an hour?" he questions and walks towards you.

"Yes," you say and smile,"so, go take your shower."

"Care to help me?"

"What, you can not shower by yourself?"

"Of course I can, but I'm still a little .... stiff from lying. And besides, I'm also still a little unsteady on my feet, you do not want me to slip and fall and hurt myself now, do you?"

"Oh no, I really can not let that happen."

"Come here." he says.

Tom reaches out his hand and you slide yours into it, he folds your hands together and takes you to the bathroom where he first turns on the taps before he turns to you and slowly undresses you and then you discard them on the floor. You stand there, naked, and just look at each other while Tom laces your fingers and he pulls you into the shower stall. Even before you are under the spray your arms slide around his waist and you lay your cheek against his shoulder. You sniff and when Tom turns around, your arms strengthen their grip around him, making it impossible for him and he grabs your hands firmly. For a moment you remain like that under the spray before Tom stirs again.

"Y/N..."

This time he manages to turn himself in your arms and he frames your face with his hands to look at you. When he looks into your eyes he sees the fear, the fear he has caused, the fear that you had almost lost him and he leans forward to kiss you before he takes you in his arms.

"It's okay, I'm here, darling, I'm fine."

"I know," you say, "I just ...."

"No, do not go there, just don't."

You shake your head and smile while he pulss you closer against him, hands rubbing your back soothingly.

"Convince me." you say.

"What?"

"Convince me that you're ok."

You loosen yourself from him and your hands glide through his hair ending up at his curls which you tug sensually. Tom smiles and leans forward to kiss you. During the kiss he turns you around and pushes you against the wall of the cubical, you feel his arms slide down and he grabs your hands,bringing. them up and curling your fingers around the edge of the cubical.

"Keep them there," he says, and he kisses your neck, "wrap your legs around my waist."

You do with what he says and lock your ankles on his back, his hands slide over your body and rest on your breasts which he massages while he kisses you again. You push yourself up with your arms and tilt your hips forward when you feel his fingers slide between your legs and they start to play with your clit. You groan deeply and lay your head against the wall while feeling his lips on your neck, kissing and biting, and he takes your earlobe between his teeth and gently pulls it. He aligns his erection against your folds and rocks his hips slowly forward until he fills you up completely, then slowly his hands slide up over your arms and he laces his fingers with yours on the edge of the cabine. He slowly begins to thrust, each thrust is harder and deeper than the previous one and you are pushed upward with each thrust.

"Look at me, darling."

Tom waits until you look at him and than cups your cheek with one hand, he smiles at you and you see the regret in his eyes, the regret that he has made you so scared and you smile back weakly. Tom leans forward to catch your lips in an intense deep kiss and the thrusts continue. When you feel the familiar tingling feeling in your lower abdomen, you tilt your hips forward and strengthens your grip around his hips, ankles pushing into his lower back to feel him glide even deepen inside and you have to break the kiss for breath. His lips sink down and kiss your neck and when he bites it, your orgasm washes through your body, you jerk and shudder and your muscles tense around his shaft and Tom soon follows you over the edge. You slowly come down from your high and gently you place your feet back on the ground and when you release the edge of the cabine you stagger and Tom lets his arms go around your waist and pulls you against him.

"I'm here, I got you."

You smile against his skin and eventually you look at him.

"Let's get you cleaned."

Tom smiles and gives you another kiss before he washes himself and you already get out and dry yourself and after you first looked at Lucy, you walk a quick round around the block with Oakley before you bring him to Emma and Dean.


	93. chapter 89

When you come back from your walk around the block Tom is holding Lucy in his arms, softly speaking to her while she looks at him with her big blue eyes and it never fails to make you feel butterflies in your stomach seeing him like the loving father that is doting on his little girl. Lucy is now dressed in jeans, shirt and red sweater and even shoes on her feet. He packed the rest of the stuff, and ten minutes later you sit in the car on the way to Dean and Emma, and fifteen minutes later you are on your way to the airport.

This time you fly from Heathrow and as always there are photographers at Heathrow because every day celebrities are seen there. You are grateful that you have the baby carrier so you can keep Lucy close to you and shield her from their camera's but still Tom takes of his jacket to place it around his daughter to protect her from the photographers and fortunately there is no one calling for a photo of the newest addition to the Hiddleston family. 

On the plane you search for your seat and once found you sit down, Tom next to the window with Lucy on his lap so she can look outside. The little girl is fully awake and Tom keeps her busy by playing with her fingers and blowing against her palms, something she still shrieks over, making you smile. However, when the engines are started she is startled and looks aside, you sit near the wing and the engine is good to hear. When there is heard that the belts must be fastened Tom turns his daughter and buckles her along with him in the seat belt. Lucy is not at all pleased to suddenly be stuck between the belt and her father and starts waving her arms. Your hand grabs her smaller one and you kiss it but she does not seem to even notice, only when Tom starts talking to her softly and comforting she get calmer.

But once the plane is in motion and begins to rise, she starts whimpering again. Tom puts an arm around her and kisses the top of her head and where she previously responded to his voice, it does not help now. You wait patiently until the light 'safety on/off' is green and as soon as this is the case Tom unbuckles his seat belt and lifts his daughter into his arms, he lays her against his shoulder and his hand rubs consoling over her back as he is talking to her in a tenderly tone. You sit sideways on your seat, cheek against the headrest and watch them, Tom doing his best to calm Lucy but the crying doesn't stop and you secretly watch through the plane, luckily you only see four or five people looking irritated and when you look back to Tom and Lucy you see that her cheeks are all red from the effort.

"Didn't you have pills for her when you came to Shreveport?" he asks as he looks at you over his daughter's head.

"Forgotten, sorry."

Tom rolls his eyes and you shrug apologetic, somewhere your glad you have Tom with you to comfort her and you do not have to do it alone. Then you suddenly stand up and take her backpack out of the compartment, you quickly grab Loki and De Li and show them to Lucy and she instantly extends her hand towards the Loki hug and presses it close to her. De Li is being ignored and you look with raised eyebrows at Tom who looks at you with a proud look in his eyes.

"Definitely a daughter of her mother." he says jokingly.

You shake your head and store De Li back into the backpack, Lucy's crying turns into sobbing, the Loki hug tightly in her hands and her face hidden in his soft green abdomen. After a few minutes Lucy raises her head up and looks around, and when Tom presses a kiss on her cheek she looks at him.

"Hey, you all right now?"

Lucy sobs one last time before she lays her head on Tom's collarbone and fists his shirt in her small hands and he curls an arm around her protectively while lovingly rubbing her back with his other hand. Then you reach over her and open the screen so that Lucy can look out and her arm stretches out to the window. You smile when Lucy starts to wobble in her father's arms. The little girl places her hands against the window and presses her forehead against it so she can look outside as far as possible. You lean forward to look outside also and don't notice that Tom pushes up the armrest and slips his arm around your waist to pull you closer and you lean against his side.

The rest of the flight goes smoothly and when you land Lucy luckily remains silent. While Tom helps you fastening the babycarrier, one of the stewardesses is so kind to hold Lucy until Tom can lower her into it.

At the luggage carrousel you quickly find your suitcases and then you leave with a taxi to the dock where a ship awaits you to bring you to the island. It takes about thirty minutes, minutes that you, in spite of the fresh weather, spend on the ship's deck, gazing at the buildings of busy Rome that you leave behind to spend two weeks in blisfull peace.

Once you have disembarked you check in at the reception and an employee brings you to your cabin in some sort jeep-like car. During the ride you see the paths are made of white sand, everywhere you look you see green, bushes, trees, but also the most beautiful flowers, sometimes even a palm tree, and when you get to your cabin, you are speechless.

It is a ground floor cabin, fully painted white on the outside with blue shutters and when you follow the employee inside you immediately stand in a spacious living room. It strikes you immediately that the floor and walls are also painted white and it has black furniture. A large luxurious sofa, two smaller fautteuls, a black shiny coffee table and a large wide screen tv on the wall. 

The kitchen and living room are separated from each other by a thin white wall with an archway in it. The kitchen is white with black cabinets, a black refrigerator and black appliances, against the wall on the other side is a wooden table with four chairs and at the back is a single glass door to the garden.

The bedroom is the reverse, black walls and shiny black floor with a huge four poster bed where white satin sheets are laying on. In one corner of the room is a door leading to a large luxurious bathroom furnished in the same colors as the bedroom and a second door leads to a nurserey for Lucy, when you're back in the living room Tom just says goodbye to the employee. He walks up to you and smiles, he slips an arm around your waist and looks at you.

"Well? What do you think?"

"This is really ..... beautiful. Thank you."

"Come." he says.

He puts his hand on your back and leads you to the double sliding glass doors leading to the garden, he pushes them open and gestures with his arm that you should step outside and when you do you're surprised by what you see. In the garden all the flowers you've seen all over the island are included and there are even two palm trees, you are also completly shielded from every one. There is an elongated terrace with tables and chairs and even a bbq. In the middle of the garden is a huge pool and you turn around to Tom.

"I want to swim." you say.

"Okay, you go ahead, I'll bring this little angel to bed and then I'll join you."

You look at Lucy who has fallen asleep and you nod. Tom turns around and walks away and you begin to undress till you are just wearing your knickers and bra and slowly descend the steps of the pool. The water is lovely and you sigh as you slowly submerge in the water. After a few minutes you get out of the pool and stretch out on one of the sun loungers face down, arms under your head and you close your eyes while the warm rays warm your body. Your startled when you suddenly feel something cold on your back but immediately relax when Tom's fingers slide across you and spreading on sun lotion.

"Thank you." you say.

"I can not let you get sunburn, that would be a real sin."

You stretch yourself under his touch while one of his hands slowly loosen the fastening of your bra and slides them sideways. His fingers massage your sides and his thumbs glide up over your spine and as always you shiver under his touch. You can hear him chuckle as his hands move up and down once or twice and then on to the side to let his fingers gently touch your breasts making you moan softly. He keeps stroking your side gently with one hand while the other sinks lower and disappears into your knickers, caressing the top of your buttocks. As his hand disappears further down and eventually caresses one of your cheeks, you lift your hips unconsciously.

"Turn around, sweetheart." Tom whispers.

When you turn around your bra falls to the ground and you raise your arms above your head, you are completely on display for him and he licks his lips as his eyes wander over your body. Finally he looks at you and he smiles as he takes off his shirt, lifting your leg he sits down between yours, one leg on each side of the deck chair and your limbs over his. He sprays some sunscreen on his hands and rubs them together before he puts them on your legs and they slide up slowly. When his thumbs glide right past the inside of your thighs you breathe in deeply and arch your back, his fingers slide underneath your knickers and he hooks his fingers around the edge to pull it down and off throwing them on the ground next to your bra. Tom's eyes follow his action, and when he lets his eyes rise up and he sees you playing with your nipple he groans deep in his throat.

"Fuck, y/n...."

"Hm?"

"Seeing you like this, before my eyes only makes me so hard."

"It is?"

"Yes, it is. You're so fucking delicious."

You feel his hands slip under your buttocks and he moves slightly away from you. Then he leans forward and without warning washes his tongue from the back all the way forward over your folds and he sucks your clit into his mouth. You buck your hips up and jerk under the treatment, Tom smiles against you folds.

"And that, only makes me harder."

"I want to feel you."

"You are feeling me."

"No, not that I want..."

At that moment, his lips envelope your clit and his tongue moves across it before he gets up, moves up to you and his hands slip under your back to lift you up in his arms. Your arms go around his neck and his lips attach themselves to your neck. He rolls his hips up against yours and you feel how hard he is.

"You want that?"

"Yes."

"How bad?"

"So fucking bad."

His arms encircle your back and when he lies down he takes you with him, his hands slide to your buttocks and he pushes you a up a little so he can pull off his boxer and you feel his erection immediately slap against your buttocks. His hands glide up and he rubs his tip back and forth a few times over your wet folds before he places it against your opening and slowly slips the tip inside. Then he grabs your hips and while you look at each other he slowly pushes you on his cock until he fills you completely. For a moment you do not move and his hands slide up over your body, the curve of your buttocks, your hips, your sides and he caresses your nipples before he lays his arms above his head, fingers intertwined and he stretches himself under you.

"Sit back and ride me, my darling," he says,"I will not move, I surrender completely to you and your wonderful body."

"Are you sure?"

"God yes, I want to see you squirm on my cock, I want to see your breasts moving rhythmically, I want to see my cock disappear in your pussy and I want to see the expression of pure joy and pleasure on your face when you cum on my cock."

"Fuck, Tom, I love it when you talk dirty."

Tom smiles and wiggles his hips back and forth.

"Come on, go crazy."

You place your hands on his chest and sit up, you roll your hips slowly back and forth, making circular motions and building the sexual tension slowly. You keep the rhythm slow and when you tilt your hips backward you feel him slip further inside and you moan. When Tom moans, you look at him and his eyes are fixed on the spot where his cock invades your body. Then they go up and look lustfully at your breasts that move to the tempo of your movement, you place your hands behind you on his knees to give him a better view and he licks his lips. Your movements increases, and your breasts bounce up and down while his cock fills you deeper and deeper and you lay your head in your neck and close your eyes.

"Touch me." you gasp.

His eyes flicker up to yours.

"I need you to touch me, please, I need your hands on me."

"No." he says.

"What?"

"I will not touch you, I want you to come without me touching you, I want you to cum with my cock alone. Are you close?"

"Yes."

"Fuck, y/n, from here I can see your clit, so swollen, glistening from your wetness .... it looks so inviting."

"Tom ..." you groan and move yourself faster over his cock.

"I can almost hear it screaming, begging for my touch, my finger or tongue to slowly slide over it, around it and then just push...."

"Fuck ...." you cry and you feel an intense orgasm roll through your body, from your feet to the tip of your head and back while you squirm and jerk on his cock.

"Oh, yeah, that's it, God you look so damn hot like that, writhing and shuddering above me. Come on, milk my cock, squeeze my cock with your pussy, take me with you over the edge of pure pleasure."

Through his words your muscles tense around his shaft, and when you feel his body shock and he moans deeply you know he is cuming.

You breathe deeply, in and out while you let yourself fall forward on his chest and his arms slip around your upper body and his hands slowly rub over your back.

"You really should talk to me like that during sex more often." you gasp.

Tom chuckles beneath you and when you hear Lucy crying you look up, Tom sits up and when he slips out of you, you moan.

"I'll get her, you get her bottle ready."

You stand up and slowly pull your clothes back on while Tom puts on his boxer and walks to the bedroom. When he comes back Lucy's face is tearstained and she sobs a bit and you sit on the sofa. Tom sits down next to you and places Lucy in your arm so you can give her the bottle. 

The rest of the day you spent lazing about, you and Tom put a rug down outside to play with Lucy and when it becomes too cold you move inside, pushing the coffee table aside and playing on the white rug with your little girl. At a certain moment you sit on the couch and Lucy sits in Tom's lap, facing him when suddenly her hands fist in his shirt and she pulls and it looks as if she wants to try to pull herself up.

"Grab her hands." you say.

"What?"

"Grab her hands."

Tom does what you say and takes her hands.

"Now pull her towards you and up."

Tom pulls her gently towards him and at the same time up and his eyes become wide. You're sitting sideways on the sofa and watch the scene and when Lucy's ass suddenly comes loose from Tom legs, Tom's lets out a cry.

"Hold her." you say.

It only takes a second before Lucy falls on her knees and forward against Tom's chest and Tom encircles his daughter with his arms.

"Oh my god that's so good of you!"

You laugh and look at him, when your eyes find each other and you see the pride in it, for something so small, you become all warm and fuzzy inside.

"Did you see that?" he asks.

"Yes, I saw."

"She stood."

"Well, technically...."

"Shush, do not say it, just, do not ruin the moment."

"Sorry." you laugh.

You lean your elbow on the back of the sofa and watches as Tom lifts his daughter to put her against his shoulder and he kisses her affectionately on the cheek.

"You're unbelievable you know that?" you say.

"I am?"

"Yeah, just how you deal with her, when you play with her or just hold her, how you react on such a simple thing as what she just did, such simple things and they make you so happy. I've only seen you like that when your acting."

"Yeah, I've always been happiest while acting but this, being this angels dad and your husband, gives me so much more satisfaction, I never knew life could be like this."

"Like what?"

"So full of everything, of love and laughter and happiness, we've also knew sad times of course but we always managed to get through them and to find our way back to each other,"he says and looks at his daughter who has fallen asleep before he looks at you again,"you make me so happy, y/n, you and Lucy both and I can not even imagine a life without my two girls, you complete me."

You smile and nod to Lucy.

"Let's get her to bed."

"Okay."

You and Tom stand up and suddenly Tom wavers and your hands shoot out to steady him.

"You okay?" you ask.

"Yeah, fine, just a bit lightheaded."

"Why don't we bring you to bed first, remember that you got out off the hospital after being held in a coma for two days not 24 hours previous. Your still recovering."

You take Lucy from him and help him to the bedroom where you put him on the bed before you take Lucy to the adjacent nursery and put her in bed. When you come back Tom has just taken off his clothes and he crawls under the sheets. You smile and turn off the light before you also get changed into shorts and top before you crawl into bed with him. You want to lie on your side but Tom pushes you on your back and lets an arm go around your waist and places his head against your temple and he gives you a kiss before you fall asleep.

 

The next morning you wake up early by the sunlight that shines through the curtains and you already decide to get up, you let Tom lie so he can get some more sleep. On bare feet you sneak to Lucy's bedroom and slowly open the door to peek inside and the little girl lies on her back with her arms stretched upward, holding the Loki hug tightly in her hands and waving it back and forth as she makes soft cooing sounds. 

You leave her and walk to the kitchen to prepare her bottle and ten minutes later you sit with her on the sofa. Just when you want to make her burp you can hear the shower running, meaning that Tom is awake. With Lucy against your shoulder, you walk to the kitchen to prepare the table for breakfast, you find it difficult with one hand but eventually you succeed and when you walk into the living room and you see Tom you stop mid-step.

His hair is still damp and sticking to his forehead while here and there drops of water slide down his back and disappear under the towel he had wrapped around his hips. When he turns around and sees you he laughs and walks towards you. Your eyes wander over his muscular body, following the few drops of water rolling down and disappear under the towel.

"You like what you see, darling."

"Oh yes I do."

He kisses your daughter and you and then walks into the kitchen.

"Oh, breakfast, I'm starving."

"Yeah, okay, let me just put Lucy in the box with some toys and I will join you."


	94. chapter 90

After you have cast a last look at his fine body you walk into the living room and put Lucy in the box and then you get some toys out of her bag and lay them around her. Lucy responds immediately by stretching out her arms to them and she starts playing with them. When you go enter the kitchen again, Tom is already at the table and you sit on a stool across from him.

"Slept well?" you ask.

"Oh great," he says and stretches his arms above his head, you can see his muscles tense and relax again before he puts his elbows on the table and supports his head with his hands.

"You?"

"Hm, fine."

While eating you do not miss that Tom occasionally straightens his back and sometimes a hand slides over his chest. When he lets a low moan escape his lips with a bite of bread you have had enough and you sit back in your chair as you slowly bring a leg up. As soon as your bare foot makes contact with his ankle a smile appears around his lips. Your foot slides up slowly, featherly light, your toes move over his skin and when you get to the inside of his knee he looks at you through his lashes.

"What are you doing?" he asks.

"Same as you."

Tom raises his eyebrows and tilts his head.

"Oh, do not play coy with me, two can play that game, baby."

Your foot slides further up and under the towel, sometimes applying pressure and when you get to the inside of his thigh, he slides back in his seat to give you better access. You smile and slide your foot up further and when your toes lightly touch his balls his breath falters in his throat. He looks down and you wobble your toes against the top of the towel making him bite his lip.

"Fuck." he says and pulls the towel away when your foot goes over his cock.

"Oh you're already hard."

"It's just ..... fuck, you've painted your toenails."

"You like it?" you say.

"I like the colour, bright red, sexy as fuck."

You rub your foot up and down his shaft and feel the outline of the thick vein that runs along the bottom under your foot. You exert a little pressure with a upward motion and Tom moans as he rests his head in his neck and his hands grasp the edge of the table. You keep your foot moving up and down, it is not an ideal situation but it does not miss its target. Tom's breathing is raspy, his hips rocking forward and his mouth hanging slightly open. One of his hands leaves the tables edge and he places it on your foot, you bend your toes as far as you can while Tom moves your foot faster over his cock.

"Are you close, baby?"

"Yes." He breathlessly replies

Then his breath hitches and his hand suddenly stops your foot, fingers cluthing it so tightly it almost hurts, you feel his cock throbbing and suddenly white rays of seed spray up and smear his chest.

"Fuck." you say.

The sight is incredibly erotic and unconsciously your hips roll over the chair, seeking friction and when Tom lets his head hang and looks at you through his lashes you feel a wave of longing and desire wash through your body. Tom sees it, and as he slowly releases your foot, he pushes his chair back and stands up. He walks around the table to you, or rather stalks towards you, towel forgotten in his chair and his cock is still erect, the look in his eyes full of want and your breath gets stuck in your throat.

"Tom ..." you start.

"Shut up."

He takes your hand and pulls you out of your chair, then pushes you up against the wall and claims your lips in a hard, compelling kiss. You let out a strangled groan from your lips and feel his hand in your short silky shorts, he does not take the time to pull them off you but just pushes them aside and aligns his cock against your opening, with a roll of his hips he pushes inside you. You let out a little squeal in his mouth and bite his lip when the thrusts are immediately fast and hard. It is one of the few times that the sex is rough but, you love it. You slip your hand through his curls and pull, making his head fall back so your kiss is broken and your lips attach to his neck. At a particularly hard thrust you bite into his skin and hear his painful moan.

"Sorry, but you started this." you gasp against his skin.

"If I remember correctly, your foot started this."

He lifts up your leg as far as possible and thrust his cock deeper and harder into you. You groan and put your head against the wall while Tom kisses and licks your neck.

"Fuck, you cunt feels so good, so velvety around my hard cock. I was born to fuck you and you were born to be fucked by me."

"Fuck me harder, Tom, please."

Tom begins to fuck you harder and deeper than he ever did while you feel his puffs of breath against your neck. Suddenly you are approaching orgasm and your cunt attracts together around his cock. Tom moans deep in his throat and thrust a few times in earnest and soon he sends you hurtling off into the abyss. You pant a few times before Tom follows you over the edge and when you get your breath back, you lick the wound in his shoulder caused by your bite, and he shudders under your touch. He carefully lowers you and when you are back on the ground you lean against the wall, then Tom leans forward and captures your lips in a soft, tender and loving kiss. After the kiss he places a finger under your chin and lifts your face up.

"I did not hurt you, did I?" he asks and you hear the concern in his voice.

"No, no Tom you did not hurt me," you say, smiling,"but I think you should take a shower again."

You nod to the dried semen on his stomach he laughs.

"Yes, maybe."

One last kiss before he turns and bends to pick up his towel, giving you a glorious view of his tight ass and you bite your lip. When he turns around and sees you looking he smiles before he walks out the kitchen to again take a shower.

When you have straightened your short you walk to the breakfast table but suddenly you feel a twinge of pain going through your body and you seek support from the chair. You bend over and close your eyes while you breathe deeply, the twinge is gone just as quickly as it appeared but still you sit down. When you have sat for some time you stand up slowly and clean off the table before you walk into the room and look at Lucy. She is sleeping satisfied in the box and you decide to go outside to sit on the terrace until Tom has finished his shower.

When Tom joins you he holds Lucy who has now woken up and is busy chewing on Loki's hand. You get up and give her a kiss. You decide to explore the island and leave to end up wandering over one of the pearly white beaches, your feet moving through the water, pant legs rolled up, your sneakers in one hand and the fingers of the other entwined with Tom's while he carries Lucy on his chest in the baby carrier, fingers of his free hand lazily caressing her back, his shoes hang from the laces over his shoulder. There is a nice breeze so it is very quiet, most people out there have a dog with them they play and that sometimes runs past you and into the water.

Nothing is being said but it's a nice, comfortable silence, you just enjoy each other's company, of Lucy and the quietness. Tom loosens your fingers and lays an arm around your shoulder to draw your against him, your arm sliding around his waist and the other hand you lay on Lucy's back, on top of Tom's hand.

"I like being able to walk like this with you,"he says, and kisses your head,"without having to worry that there are photographers lying in wait to take a photo or fans wanting an autograph or a picture."

"Me too, it is good to have you and Lucy all to myself, too bad that it is only for two weeks."

"Once home, I'll stay with you and Lucy for at least another two weeks."

You frown your eyebrows and look at him.

"It suddenly occurs to me now that you have no film role after those two weeks Avengers."

"No, but that gives me the opportunity to concentrate fully on the largest and most important role in my life; being your husband and Lucy's father."

You smile and when he leans down to kiss you, you stretch yourself a little to let your lips meet in a sweet short kiss before you walk further. At the end of the walk you arrive at a small eating house and you and Tom decide to eat something there. As soon as you step inside you are warmly welcomed by the host and taken to a table by the window. You put your stuff on the table and help Tom loosen the carrier, you lift Lucy out and you look surprised when the host already stands next to you with a chair for her.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome, ma'am. Do you want to pre-order something to drink?" he asks.

"Tea please." you say and Tom nods.

When the man is gone you place Lucy in the chair, she has a bit of trouble sitting upright so you stuff your coat between her side and the chair and that helps. You sit down across from Tom, and you look at the card. Once the tea is brought out and you wait for the food you give Lucy the bottle and when you have placed her back in her chair the food is brought. It is a relief to just sit quietly in a restaurant and just enjoy each other.

After dinner, you thank the host and walk the same way back over the beach to your cabin. Once inside you lift Lucy out of the baby carrier, the little girl has now fallen asleep and stirs when changing clothes but does not wake up. You put her in her cradle and gently walk out of her nursery before you and Tom go to your bedroom and because the day really tired him out and he is still recovering you go to sleep. 

 

On the day before Christmas you are visited by the owner of the resort, he tells you that that evening a luxurious dinner is served and you are invited. There is childcare for kids so Lucy will be looked after so that you can fully enjoy each other. When the man said goodbye you look at Tom.

"I have nothing to wear." you say.

"What?"

"You heard the man, it is a luxury dinner, I only have trousers and shirts with me."

"Well then we're going to need to buy a beautiful dress for you?"

"Yes, and a nice suit for you."

Ten minutes later you walk through the shopping street, you've already seen a few dresses and fitted them but nothing you think is beautiful enough. Ultimately, you stand in a shop looking at your mirror image, you are wearing a simple short cocktail dress with a wide belt around your waist. You squeeze your lips and frown eyebrows.

"Not very spectacular but it does look beautiful on you." Tom says.

You smile and look him in the mirror, but his eyes are watching the black high heels you wear underneath and you lift your foot up and show him the heel, Tom eyes flicker up to yours.

"I love seeing you on heels." he says.

"I know. I think I'll take this one."

"Great."

While you change clothes Tom pays for your dress and shoes and also his suit, a black chalk suit with white shirt and dress shoes. When you come out of the dressing room, he is waiting for you with the bag in his hand and when you stand next to him, Lucy stretches her arm towards you and you take her hand in yours to press a kiss on it. The Loki hug tightly in her other fingers, De Li is nowadays only to be found in her cradle, apparently she finds the Loki hug better, to the delight of Tom.

 

When you walk into livingroom after you dressed Tom is sitting on the couch looking at something he holds in his hands, when you comes closer he looks up and smiles.

"What's that?" you ask.

"This,"he says and stands up,"is for you."

"Wat? Tom I thought we came here to avoind getting gifts."

"I know, but, I've been thinking about what you said when you and Lucy were with me in Shreveport, about now that your a mother, you think of your own mother a lot and how sorry you are that you don't remember her, so, I did some research, called some people, pulled some strings."

Slowly he opens the box so you can see what is in it, it is a silver necklace with a heart on it and when you get it out of the box you can see a closure on the side.

"A medaillion." you say.

"Yes, open it."

You open it and what you see makes your breath stop in your throat, it's just a very tiny picture but you immediately recognize her, or rather you immediately recognize yourself.

"Is this...?"

"Your mom."

"Oh my god, Tom, this is amazing."

"I felt sorry for you, you seemed so sad when you said it, I wanted to do something for you."

You embrace him and Tom's arms close around your waist to press you against him. After the embrace you look at the picture again.

"She's beautiful." you say.

"Like mother like daughter. Come here, I'll hang it around your neck."

You give Tom the chain and turn around, you slide your hair over one shoulder and when the necklace hangs around your neck, your finger slide over it, it hangs just too high for you to see but that does not matter. You feel Tom's arms slip around your waist and he kisses your shoulder.

"Thank you, oh but I have nothing for you." you say.

"That does not matter."

"Really?"

"Really."

"Thank you."

"Come on, let's go."

When you walk into the restaurant that night you're overwhelmed for a moment by what you see. The lobby is magnificent and beautifully decorated with gold, silver and red ribbons, in a corner is a gigantic Christmas tree which almost completely disappears behind its decoration.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hiddleston." you suddenly hear.

You turn around and see a young woman walking towards you.

"And this must be Lucy." she says.

She puts a smile on her face and tickles Lucy on her belly and the little girl coos of pleasure, hiding her face into you neck.

"Hi, I'm Joy, I will take care of the children this evening, I am a qualified caretaker, I have the papers ...."

"Whoa, Joy, it's okay,"Tom says and stops her,"you do not have to prove to us that Lucy is in good hands with you, otherwise you would not be here, I think."

"No, that's true, some are just not as quickly to give their children to a stranger which is understandable."

"Of course, but as I said, I'm sure it's okay."

"May I?" she asks you and reaches for Lucy.

"Oh, of course."

You carefully give Lucy to Joy and the little girl lays her head on her shoulder but once Joy turn around and walks away from you and Lucy sees that you and Tom do not follow her she starts crying and waving her arms to you. You see how Joy comforts your little girl and kisses her cheek and although you know she is in good hands, it breaks your heart to hear your daughter crying and you take a step forward but Tom grabs your hand and stops you.

"Tom..."

"I know it is difficult but Lucy must learn that we can not always be with her, she must learn that sometimes other people wil comfort her. This will only make it easier when she will have to go to daycare."

"Daycare? She's only three months old."

"I know, and it seems early but children and especially babies are very malleable, and she will learn to share things and to interact with other children, which will only be an advantage because she is going to get a lot of brothers and sisters." he says with a wink.

"She will?"

"Yes, she will." Tom says.

His arms slip around your waist and he draws you towards him and you lay your head on his shoulder.

"How many did you have in mind?" you ask.

"I don't know, at least two,"you lean back to look at him,"I know people often say that in a family of three kids the middle one is always being left out but I was the middle one but never lacked anything. I counted myself lucky I had an older and a younger sister."

"How about we start with one and see how that goes, you know what the gynecologist has said when my placenta tore, a second pregnancy can be dangerous."

"I know, and although I would never knowingly endanger you, I would find it so amazing to become a father again and this time I will be there with you from beginning to the end."

"I still can not believe that you really would give up a filmrole for me."

"I would give up everything for you, you know this, darling."

"I know."

Slowly he leans in to place a couple of short sweet kisses on your lips.

"I thought I heard a familiar voice."

You and Tom break the kiss and look around.

"Eddie! Oh my god."

Tom's arms slip away from your waist and he walks over to Eddie, you know him by name, but that's it. Tom, however, seems to know him pretty good because there follows a fond embrace between the two men. You fold your hands together and feel a bit lost while the men let go of each other but keep looking at each other and talk, both with a big smile on their lips.

"Hi,"you suddenly hear behind you and you look up,"I'm Hannah, Eddie's wife."

"Hi, I'm y/n, Tom's wife."

"Let them for a moment, they have been at Eton together and have hardly seen each other since then, I believe." she explains.

"Oh okay, Tom never told me."

Hannah smiles at you and when Tom says your name you look at him.

"This is Eddie Redmayne, we have been at Eton together."

"Hi." Eddie says.

You take his hand and he surprises you when he pulls you towards him and gives you a hug while Tom greets Hannah. When you let go of Eddie Hannah and Tom come stand beside you and Tom laces your fingers together.

"What are you doing here?" Tom asks.

"Well actually we're on our honeymoon."

"What? Seriously?"

"Yes, we got married the fifteenth and arrived this morning."

"Oh my god that's great, congratulations!"

"Thank you, please do not feel passed over because you did not get an invitation, we did it with just family and friends." Eddie says apologizing.

"Oh no, that's okay, we got married small also, just family and friends. Will you join us, perhaps?" he asks.

"Oh we do not want to impose." Eddie answers.

"Your not, right?"

Tom looks at you and even though you'd rather have spent this evening alone with him they seem very nice and friendly and you shrug.

"Great." Tom says.

The waiter brings you to a secluded table and you take place, Tom slides your chair for you when you sit down and he sits down next to you, on your other side Eddie sits and Hannah takes place across from you. It doesn't escape you that Eddie also slides her seat and you smile when he places a kiss on his wife's cheek before he sits down himself. When everyone sits, the waiter gives you the menu with the choice of three menus and already writes down what you want to drink.

"So,"you start when the waiter is gone,"you and Tom met at Eton?"

"Oh no, we grew up just around the corner from each other in Westminster and hung out a lot together,"Eddie says,"but then I wast sent to Eton."

"I had now idea, one day he was just gone so when I got there I got the surprise of my life when he showed up there, he sat a class higher then me and man was I relieved to see you there. I was just a teenager and insecure about, well, everything, so I was lucky that Eddie was there, he sort of took care of me and looked after me. But when I returned, there was of course the situation with my parents and we sort of lost touch with each other."

"The whole neighborhood was in shock about their divorce." Eddie says.

"They were?"

"Yes, they always saw Diana and James like the ideal couple, very commited to each other, three nice beautiful kids, nice house. Everyone liked them and could not believe it when they got divorced."

"Yeah, well,"Tom says, placing his elbows on the table to fold his fingers together,"Mom and Dad are actually together again, since our wedding, they realized how good they had it."

"Really? That's great!" Eddie says.

"It is, and God it is so good to see you again! The last time was sometime last year, when you came to the Donmar to see a performance of Coriolanus."

"That's true, you were as a child, one of my best friends and it seemed like a good chance to see you again." he says.

"It was great to be back on stage, I hope to be able to do it again one day, making movies is awesome, however, when you stand on stage with all those people there and the feedback that you get from them.... it is indescribable."

"You were spectacular and the award that you won for it was more than deserved."

"Thank you."

Then the waiter stands next to you and you look up.

"Have you already made your choice?" he asks.

"Oh heaven, sorry, give us a minute." Tom says apologizing.

"Of course."

The waiter excuses himself with you and after you have made a choice he writes what you like to eat and he disappears.


	95. chapter 91

"And speaking of awards that are more than deserved, your rendition of Stephen Hawking was incredible."

"Thank you." Eddie says.

You see a blush appearing on his cheeks while he looks away and Hannah puts her hand on his and squeezes it lovingly, making his eyes meet hers and he smiles before he looks at Tom again.

"I thought it was going to be a biopic but the script was a complicated, intricate and, at moments, difficult love story. And because it was so unexpected, I found it riveting."

"How did you prepare for it?"

"I visited the Queen Square Centre for Neuromuscular Diseases in London to talk to MND patients and their doctors. I approached portraying the disease as if it were a dance. I had an osteopath at my disposal too: I had to train my body like a dancer but learn to shorten muscles instead of stretch them. He made charts, detailing what he needed to do physically in each scene."

You are interrupted by the waitress who places the food on the table and when she's gone, Eddie goes on.

"What was helpful was the decision that Hawking should have the disease from the film’s beginning. The problem with motor neurone disease is they don’t know when it starts. People go into hospital having fallen but get wrapped up and sent away, unless they’re seen by an incredibly astute doctor. It is only when several things begin to go wrong that it’ll be diagnosed, tiny failures: a wobble on a bicycle, an initial disinclination to dance at a May ball, a risky whirl with Jane on a college lawn in which his feet turn perilously outwards on their sides, James ended up shooting two separate films of what my feet were doing and what my hands were doing. That was weird.” he smiles. 

"You've also met him?" Tom asks

"Yes I have." he says looking at Tom again

"How was that?"

"When I walked into Hawking’s house in Cambridge, the first thing that happened was that Stephen’s nurse held up his arm to shake my hand. He has to look away to communicate, his cheek muscle control the cursor on his screen. I started talking and made a fool of myself, going: ‘Hello, Professor, how are you?’ I then realised that a response to ‘How are you?’ takes him several minutes,"he says and shakes his head at his own stupidity,"I was in the dark as to whether this was a friendly invitation or a mild rebuke for sycophancy so I kept addressing him as Professor Hawking. The meeting did not immediately get easier – mainly, because I wanted Hawking’s approval. Playing someone like him, it is a big responsibility and puts enormous pressure on your shoulders however I do not have to tell you that with your role as Hank Williams. The trailer looked very impressive."

"Thank you, it was a great experience, the people were really very helpful to me, not just the people who were drawn by the film production company, but also the people of Shreveport itself."

"I've heard other stories."

"Yes, they were there too, but there are always negative people, those people are in my opinion not so much against the fact that a Brit plays an American legend, but those people are just afraid, have a fear that it will not become a great movie and you know I never back down from a challange, it just stimulates me more, do my best even more to prove them wrong."

"I'm sure they will all have to take back their words." Hannah smiles.

The rest of dinner proceeds in silence but it is a comfortable silence.

"So, you have a daughter?" Hannah suddenly asks.

"Yes, Lucy, she is with Joy at the moment, she takes care of the kids while we are here."

"How old is she now?"

"About three months and she is amazing, I had never thought that becoming a mother would be so life changing," you smile,"the birth was a hell sometimes but afterwards to hold such a little person that's great, so overwhelming. Then you immediately forget all your pain."

"And how does being a father go for you, Tom?" Eddie asks.

"Amazing, like y/n said, it changes not only your life but also your responsibily shifts, suddenly you have this little person, depending on you to take care of her, to raise her, teach her values and protect her."

"I'm sure she will never lack anything." Hannah says.

"Not if I can help it," Tom says smiling,"before you appeared I was excually saying to y/n I can't wait to have more kids."

"Really?"

"Yes, it's amazing, seeing a baby get born, I would even dare to say it's more rewarding then winning an award."

"Wauw, that's....saying something." Eddie says.

"What about you? You want kids?" you ask.

"Sure, just not right now, but later we would love to have some."

After dinner and you walk towards the hall and Tom and Eddie get your coats and while Tom helps you in yours you see Eddie does the samen with Hannah after which he gives her a soft kiss on the cheek. Then you say goodbye to Eddie and Hannah you pick up Lucy who is sleeping peacefully and you return to your cabin.

"I'm sorry." Tom suddenly says and you look at him.

"About what?"

"About inviting Eddie and Hannah, it's just....Eddie and I have been best mates since childhood and after Eton we never saw each other again and I thought..."

"Tom, it's okay, really, I did wanted to spent tonight with just you but Eddie and Hannah are very nice and it was sort of fascinating to hear him talking about his role about Stephen and everything he did to prepare."

"It was, he's so passionate about acting, I love that about him."

"I know someone else who thinks that way about it,"you say and smile,"and he and Hannah are cute together, the way he treats her, it reminds me of how you treat me."

"It does?"

"Yes, sliding her chair for her when she sits down, the spark in his eyes when he looks at her, he adores her, it's abvious."

"Well, that is another thing we have in common then cause I adore you too, my darling."

When you return home you lay her in het cradle and when you walk into the livingroom Tom is standing at the window, he sees your reflection in the glass and turns to you. He smiles walking towards you coming right up close, pulling his hands out of his pockets he takes you in his arms. He gathers you to him and your arms go around his waist.

"I have no words for how happy I am that you came into my life, y/n, I always thought that love at first sight did not exist, but since the moment I saw you for the first time, I knew I was wrong, everything about you is perfect, your sweet smile, your personality, your humour, but also your seriousness, your ability to place yourself in other people's shoes, how you get the very best out of me, when I have a bad day you can always make me laugh, chasing away my demons and enriching my life like nobody else ever could do. You've made me the happiest man when you married me and you gave me the most precious gift, when you gave me Lucy, I hope that many children will follow, all of which will be just as beautiful as their mother."

You are moved by his confession and when he looks at you with eyes that are so honest and full of love and affection you feel tears in your eyes. Tom notices and frames your face in his hands, he leans forward and kisses you a few times gently on your lips. He lifts your bridal style and while kissing you he walks to the bedroom, placing you on the ground, and as he looks at you he undresses you slowly, you move your arms up so that he can pull your jumper over your head and he tosses it on the ground. He then opens your trousers and slides them down your hips. Now it's your turn to loosen his shirt buttons and push it from his shoulders before starting with his trousers. And when they too are lying on the carpet, he again lifts you in his strong arms and lays you on the bed. He lies down besides you, balancing on one elbow before leaning forward and kissing you. The kiss is tender and soft, you feel the fingertips move feather light over your side and you giggle against his lips.

"That tickles." you whisper.

Tom smiles and captures your lips again, kissing you as his fingers slide farther down over your skin, leaving fire in their wake. He lets his fingers slide under the band of your knickers and pauses a moment, fingertips playfully caressing through your pubic hair. You sigh deeply and rock your hips up a little bit and Tom notices. Instead of letting his fingers sliding further down they go up and disappear under your back to loosen your bra strap. You help him to pull it off and he then blindly throws it beside the bed and immediately his head ducks to take a nipple in his mouth. Lightly sucking and softly licking with his tongue over your nipple while long, thin fingers, cup your other breast and he massages it. You know, even though you've just begun, that this lovemaking will be different from the rough sex earlier that day in the kitchen, that it will consist only of loving touches, soft tender kisses and sometimes whispered words of love and affection.

His fingers release your breast and move down, they caresses your abdomen and you feel them slip into your panties again, this time they do not stop but they continue on their way until they reach your folds and you rock your hips up silently, telling him where you want to feel them. Tom smiles against your skin and rest his chin on your collarbone to look at you as he slowly lets a finger slip inside. You push your head in the pillow and arch your back, biting your lip.

"God, I love to see you like this, it is such a turn on."

"Thoooommaaasss ..." you gasp.

"And to hear you say my name like that, so full of desire, so full of longing," he lets a second finger slip inside and curls them up, making your breath hitch in your throat,"you are so beautiful like this."

You feel movement, but you do not have to open your eyes to know that Tom has pulled off his boxers and thrown them bedside the bed, next to your bra, automatically your legs open for him and after he has pulled your knickers off you, he settles between your legs, places his hands beside your head and covers your body with his longer form. When you feel his throbbing manhood against your thigh, a little jolt rolls through your body and you pull your legs up to place your feet flat on the matrass as you roll your hips up and your arms go around his neck to pull him against you.

"Make love with me." you say.

"Yes."

Tom lets a hand slide down over your body and aligns his cock against you opening and while his eyes hold you captive he rolls his hips forward until his head slips inside you. Then he draws back only to roll forward again, he repeats this several times until he completely fills you and then he lays his head in your neck and he pauses, enjoying your soft velvety walls envelopping his cock.

Your hands now roam across his back, lightly and affectionately they caress his skin and they end up in his hair.

"Move." you whisper.

"Yes."

Tom obeys instantly by making gently rolling movements with his hips and every time he fills you a little deeper, you open your legs wider for him and you feel him go even deeper in the next thrust. Tom moans against your neck, a delightful sound, a sound that you will never get enough of hearing, and it fills you with pride that you have the privilege and that he allows you to see him, to see this amazing, incredible man in his most vulnerable moment. Tom moves his hips faster, he penetrates you deeper and he tilts his hips so that he touches your most intimate spot with every inward thrust. Your breathing changes because of the pleasure that rolls through your body and Tom smiles against your skin.

"Right there, my darling?" he says, placing soft kisses against your skin.

"Yeah, right there, please ..."

Tom kisses your neck, licking the shell of your ear and thrust harder and faster, you lock your ankles behind his back and you surrender yourself completely to him, mind, body and soul, everything is focused on Tom, on his movements, at this moment he is the centerpiece of your world. You feel a spiral of pleasure taking hold of your body and your hips start to move along with him. He feels the muscles in your vagina contract around his shaft and he knows that you're close.

"I love you." he says.

Immediately he bites softly into your shoulder and it's enough to send you spiraling over the cliff. You moan and your body stiffens before it starts to tremble and shudder beneath him. Tom thrust again deeper and follows you. Presses his face into your neck you hear his muffled groans. You remain lying entangled till you both float back down to earth, then Tom rolls on his back and takes you with him, his cock slips out of your well lubricated fanny and your head comes to lie on his collarbone, your arm over his waist. His arm is around your shoulders and with his fingers he caresses your upper arm. Normally you stay awake after a lovemaking session like that to cuddle but now you're so tired that you quickly fall asleep.

 

Halfway through the night, you wake up with thirst and you get out of bed to go to the bath room. Just when you walk back to the bedroom, you feel a stab in your stomach and you have to hold on to the wall to stay upright. 

"Y/N?" you hear Tom say from the bedroom before he appears in the doorway and you quickly let go of the wall,"hey, there you are."

He walks up to you and takes your hand.

"Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yes fine."

"Why are you up?"

"I was thirsty, I've had a drink."

"Thirst quenched?"

"Yes."

"Okay, come back to bed."

You let yourself be guided into the bedroom just when Lucy starts to cry and you turn your head.

"I'll go, you go back to bed."

Tom kisses your forehead before he walks to the nursery of his daughter and you crawl into bed. You lie on your side and your hand rubs your belly, you think back to the previous times you had stomach pains and you wonder if you should go to a doctor, if all is well with you. Maybe you're pregnant but that would be very soon, after Lucy's birth. But you and Tom have quite an active sex life so it might. You sigh and close your eyes and fall asleep soon.

 

When you wake up the next morning it is still early, six thirty and your hand reaches out to Tom but you only feel air, nothing, you come up and look around and see that Tom is not next to you. You step out of bed and strecth yourself and when you turn back to lay the sheet back your hand stops mid way. There is a little drop of blood in the sheet, it red, very bright red and you think of the cramps last night. Quickly you lay the sheet back and walk into the living room to see Tom sitting with his daughter. He is slumped into the couch, sleeping, one hand next to his body and the other protectivly eround his daugters back. Lucy's head lies on his collarbone, you smile and walk over to them to sit down beside him and fold your legs under your body. You reach your hand out to his and lace your fingers together before you bring it to your lips to plant a kiss on it and Tom slowly opens his eyes.

"Hey." you say.

"Hey." he answers.

"You did not come back to bed last night."

"No, it took quite a while before she was finally quiet, I'm surprised you didn't come out, she was crying pretty loud and with tears."

"Really?" you ask.

"Hm."

Tom gently rubs his hand across Lucy's back and it takes your breath away to see him looking at his daughter so fondly. Your thoughts go back to last night, the returning cramps and the sudden bloodloss and you contemplete telling Tom but you decide against it.

"How did you get her to stop?"

"That was not so easy,"he says, smiling,"I've tried everything, walking with her, talking to her, singing to her, cuddling but the tears kept coming, terrible thing to have to watch, I felt so helpless, not even being able to comfert her."

"I know, I've been there,"you say and rub his hand that is still sliding with affection across her back,"why do not you put her back to bed, then I will make breakfast."

"Okay."

While your busy setting the table Tom walks into the kitchen and when you look at him you see his frown.

"What is it?"

"I just got a call from Kevin Feige." he begins.

"Kevin Feige, is he not in charge of Thor and The Avengers?"

"Yes, and he is the boss of Marvel, pretty much decides about what happens in the movie but this was about Thor 3. Apparently they do not need me for The Avengers, they only want to have Utron as villain but they want to make me one of the main characters in Thor 3 so they have asked me to meet with them and talk about scene's and possibly film some of them."

"In Pinewood?"

"In LA."

"What?" you says and stop with what your doing to look at him.

"I know, and this is so top secret, no one knows, even the other actors do not know, it's all very hush hush."

"And what does that mean?"

"Well, you remember Comic Con 2013?"

"How could I forget, you were incredible as Loki and the whole of Hall H was at your feet in like, no time."

"Yeah well, this is just like that, but a little bigger."

"They are going to place you in lock down?"

Tom nods and sits down on a chair, you sit on a chair next to him and look at him.

"Even from me?" you ask.

Your voice shakes a little bit, being seperated from Tom for two weeks is not new to you but if you can't even hear his voice, you will go crazy.

"I think, the script isn't even done yet, there is a need to know basis only."

Tom looks at you, seeing in your eyes that you don't like the prospect of being completely cutt-off from him for two weeks and he takes your hand in his.

"I will talk to Kevin, maybe he wil allow me to call you at certain times." he says while bringing your hands to his lips to press a kiss on them.

"Okay." you say, knowing that he can't promise anything.

Then you hear your phone beeping, indicating you have a message and while you stand up your hands slip out if his. You pick your phone up and reed the message.

"Oh, it's from Amelia, their flight leaves in an hour, they will be here at the beginning of the afternoon." you say.

"Great, let's pick them up from the harbor."

"Sounds good."

 

Later that day, you Lucy and Tom are waiting for them in the harbor, when they see you, you see that they are still a little tentatively when the step off the boat. You smile and when Anna can see you she runs towards you and puts her arms around your waist and you put your arms around her shoulders.

"Hey, girl, you have had a good trip?"

"Yes." Anna says.

When she sees Lucy on Tom's arm, she smiles and Tom sits on his haunches so that the girls are at the same level. Lucy recognizes the girl and reaches her arm to her and Anna takes it and gives it a kiss. When you take them to their cabin which is close to yours Tom is walking along with Ethan and Jacob in front and you walk with Amelia a few meters behind. Anna is now carried by Amelia and the girl has layd her head down on the shoulder of her mother and Amelia caresses her back with her hand and looks around before she looks at you.

"Thanks for this, really."

"It's okay, we're glad you're here. Is she asleep?"

"Yes, she was so excited about flying alone, she has not slept last night. Jacob did not either, but he may collapses when lying in bed. Jeez, it's really beautiful here, maybe it helps Ethan and me too."

"Do you have problems?"

"No, not at all, we love each other very much and always will but we are always so busy with other things, during the week Ethan is always at work I am busy with the household and when the kids are in bed we are often so exhausted we just sit on the couch and watch tv for like two hours and then go to bed only to start over the next day. And in the weekends there are always chorus to be to done and I am busy with the children time for just the two of us....it's difficult."

"When was the last time he took you out?"

"He took us out couple of weeks ago."

"No, just you, you know, a movie, bite to eat, dancing, whatever."

"I don't know, really."

"I'll take you to the shopping boulevard tomorrow we can buy some sexy lingerie for you."

"What? No, I do not have the figure for it."

"Ah, I'm not a size 6 either but I've never heard Tom complaining." you joke.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, and when you put on lingerie on you feel sexy instantly, irresistible even."

When you arrive at their cabin you say goodbye to them so that they can settle down and you agree that you will cook for them that evening. Once you have looked in the refrigerator you decide to quickly go to the supermaket to get some food and when you come back is Tom sitting on the sofa hunched over reading something.

"What are you doing?" you ask.

Tom looks up and while you put the groceries on the table, he gets up.

"Erm, I was approached by someone for a role while I was in Shreveport."

"Really? What movie?"

"Actually for a TV series."

"A series?" you say and look at him with surprise.

"Yeah, you know The Night Manager?"

"Are you kidding? I love that book, they've asked you for that?"

"Yes, for the role of Jonathan Pine."

"Wow, the spy huh." you say mysterious.

"Yes." he answers, laughing.

"You know, while reading the book, I often dreamed that I was locked up somewhere in a basement or something and that Jonathan came to save me, and later when he had placed me somewhere safely I always thanked him."

"Oh yeah?"

"Hmm, if you're nice, I'll show you how." you say with a wink.

"Can not wait."

"Did you bring it to read?" you ask.

"I was looking through my suitcase and it was apparently still in it, I really have not brought it deliberately." he says apologizing.

"Hey, it's okay."

"Really? This is supposed to be a vacation."

You take his hands in yours and pull him towards you, you place his arms around your waist and then yours slide around his neck.

"It's okay, acting is your life, never apologize for something you do with passion."

"Okay."

He leans forward and gives you a kiss before he looks at the groceries.

"What did you buy?"

"Uhm, pasta, some things to make a salad, sauce, bread, desert."

"You want help?"

"That would be great, thank you."


	96. chapter 92

While you put water on the stove for the pasta, Tom begins with the salad and just when the water is boiling you put the pasta in and place the lid on. Then you place water on the stove to make the sauce. You place one hand on the counter and with the other you grab the garde while you wait for the moment when it is boiling before you can toss the sauce in it when you suddenly feel two hands on your hips and two lips in your neck. Tom merges his long body against yours and you close your eyes.

"What are you doing?"

"Killing time."

"What about the salad."

"Is done."

"Tom, I have to keep an eye on the water," you say, and you sigh longingly when his fingers slowly disappear under your shirt and caress your stomach,"I need... when it boils ..."

"Keep an eye on it."

"You distract me this way."

"You want me to stop? If you want me to stop say it and I'll stop."

You say nothing but bite your lip, his lips still kiss your neck and gently bite in your shoulder while his fingers play with the band of your knickers.

"You do not want me to stop, do you? You want my touch, you need my touch."

"You know I do, but ...."

"No, no but's, I remember you wanted me to keep playing the piano while you blew me."

"Shit."

"Look at the water."

You look at the water and feel Tom's fingers get closer to your intimate place and when he slowly lets a finger turn around your clit you moan softly. You lean on your hands and roll your hips down, letting him know where you want his fingers and he smiles against your skin. He obeys you by letting one finger slip inside and immediately he curls it, your legs become weak and Tom notices that you falter when a second finger is pushed in, he lets an arm move around your waist as a means of keeping you upright. Your eyes close in pleasure when he let's his thumb slip over your clit but he bites directly into your skin.

"No, watch the water."

You open your eyes and look at the water, the bubbles begin to come up, indicating that it is almost boiling. Tom also sees and moves his fingers faster inside you while his thumb mercilessly attacks you clit. You open your mouth, silently and you close it again, your hips start to move, rocking back and forth and you feel that familiar tingling feeling in your abdomen coming up and it feels like the bubbles coming up faster and faster in the water. When your orgasm rolls through your body the water reaches a boiling point too and the sauce should be put in but your body is numb, you do not get your hand to move.

"Tom.."

"I know, I got it," he says while he picks up the sauce and pours it into the boiling water,"give me the garde."

You give him the garde and he starts stirring while you close your eyes and lean back against his strong chest and lay your head on his shoulder, his arms stil firmly around your waist and fingers splayed on your stomach while he lovingly nuzzles his nose into your neck while you are slowly drifting back down to earth again. He kisses your cheek and continues stirring while his free hand reduces the heat.

"I'll handle it."

 

When Ethan Amelia and the kids are with you and you sit at the table you notice that Anna has had some sleep, she is fully awake but Jacob however can barely keep his eyes open, and thus Ethan decides to lay him on your bed while Tom lays Lucy in her cradle while Amelia and you move to the garden with some wine and glasses. After some time the men join you, Tom next to you and Ethan next to Amelia with Anna on her lap.

"So how was Christmas dinner?" your question.

"Good, very good." Amelia says.

"My lovely wife always puts a delightful meal on the table." Ethan says proud.

"Oh but I do not do it alone, I have a lot of help from the other women."

"Yes, well I do not know anything about that, the women come at the end of the morning, I always flee with the other men so that women have the house alone and make everything ready."

"Sensible." Tom say.

"Oh, and I've been promoted, head of the department with my own office."

"Congratulations, that's great!"

"Thank you. If all goes well I can repay you the amount of the trip and the cottage within a year."

"What? Oh no you don't have to do that, you have done so much for us, this is our way of giving something back." you say.

Ethan looks from you to Tom and he nods.

"Okay then, how are you feeling now, Tom?"

"Well, sometimes I can still tell I was in the hospital for treatment, then suddenly I'm dead tired but overall I can not complain, and this, this area is the ideal place to catch your breath."

"That's for sure." Ethan agrees.

"That is a very beautiful medaillion around your neck." Amelia says.

"I got it from Tom, there is a picture of my mother in it."

"Can I see it?"

"Of course."

You open the medallion and show them the picture of your mother.

"You look like her."

"Thank you," you say, and then close it again,"since I've had Lucy I think of her more often, I know little about her, only that she died in a car accident when I was a teenager."

"Y/N told me when she was with me in Shreveport and I felt so sorry for her," Tom says and places an arm around your shoulder,"so I have called around pulled some strings, got a hold of a picture and later bought the medallion to place in it. "

"That's very sweet of you." Amelia says.

"Normally I would never use my name do get things done but I just wanted to do something for her."

You take Tom's hand on your shoulder and lace your fingers while you look at him and smile and he leans towards you to give you a quick kiss. By ten o'clock Amelia notices that Anna has fallen asleep and they decide to say goodbye to you, Along with Amelia you walk to the door while Ethan and Tom go to your bedroom to collect Jacob. The little fellow stirs but does not wake up and when they accompany you in the hallway you turn to Amelia.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at ten o'clock, okay?"

"Sure, I'll see you at ten, y/n."

When you close the door and walk into the living room Tom's arms circle around your waist, you interweave your fingers with his on your stomach and he kisses your neck.

"What are you going to do tomorrow?" he asks.

"Buying lingerie."

"Oh, I like that."

"For her. She and Ethan, well, they do not have marriage problems, but their sex life could use a boost."

"And lingerie will take care of that?"

"Well, I never hear you complaining when I wear it, and when Ethan gives the same reaction as you..."

"Darling, you don't need to wear lingerie to get a reaction from me."

"No? So when I wear this," you say, and turn around to take some distance but your fingers remain interweaven,"a jeans and shirt, you find me just as sexy as in lingerie?"

"You know I do," he smiles and suddenly pulls you towards him, your hands on his chest and his behind your back to push you against him, "or should I prove it?"

Before you have a chance respond he kisses you passionately on your lips, you loose yourself completely into the kiss and close your eyes. Vaguely you notice that he lifts you up and walks into the bedroom. He sits down on his knees on the bed and slowly lets himself fall forward so you lie on your back with your legs around his waist and he hovers over you. Your eyes open and you find clear blue ones penetrating you, looking into your soul. Without breaking the contact you feel his hands go up and they slowly slide under your shirt. He pulls it off you and throws it away. He let his eyes slowly and appreciatively go over your upper body and then ducks down to kiss your neck. His lips draw a path to your collarbone and eventually he comes to the swelling of your breasts. He lets one hand move under your back and you arch up slightly to give him room. He opens the clasp and pulls it off you to throw it beside the bed.

"You're my world." he whispers.

You feel fingers close around your right breast, he caresses it gently while he closes his lips around the nipple of the other breast and he sucks lightly. You arch your back on the bed and groan, Tom smiles against your skin and flicks his tongue over your nipple.

"Tom..." you gasp en raise your hips, making it clear what you want.

"Sshh...it's okay, I know what you want," he says and rolls his hips against yours,"and I will give it to you, I will give everything that I am to you, my heart, my soul, even my last breath."

His lips trail down further, placing soft butterfly kisses over your soft skin and you feel like your on fire, inside out. He raises himself up on his knees and opens your jeans slowly. You place your elbows on the bed and look at him, when your jeans is open he looks up at you and you see him looking at you through his eyelashe and he smiles. Then he crawls back to stand behind the bed and takes your trouserlegs in his hands and slowly he pulls them off you. When he does not make a move to join you back on the bed you want to sit up but he stops you.

"No, stay as you are,"he says with a raised hand,"I want to savour you like this, like the beauty that you are."

He pulls his shirt of and lets his hands wander over his body, slowly they come to rest on his hips, one hand goes down and you see the bulg in his jeans, he cups it with one hand and moans softly. You bite your lip and have to use all your self restraint not to jump him. He sees it and smiles.

"You want this?" he says and kneads his shaft.

You nod.

"You need this?" he says.

He smiles and his other hand opens his jeans and slowly slides it down his legs. Your hands fist the sheet and your breathing goes up.

"Tell me." he says.

You follow his hand when it dips into his boxer and his head is thrown back when he takes himself in hand.

"Tom....."

"Tell me." he says again.

"I want you, please Tom, I need you."

He opens his eyes and looks at you.

"Take your pantie off."

You do what he says and move it down your legs to let it fall on the ground.

"Touch yourself, open yourself up for me."

Your fingers go down and glide through your soaking wet slit, your moan loudly and close your eyes, you push two fingers inside you and your hips buck up with pleasure. Soon another finger joins them and when you feel the bed dip, your eyes open but Tom is immediately there to kiss you. He pushes you back on the bed and lets his cock slide deep inside you immediately. You put your legs around his hips and he puts his hands beside your head. He rolls his hips against yours slowly, but it's enough to make you feel your climax aproaching. Tom's thrusts remain slow but go so deep, each time he scrapes over that one spot that makes you see stars. He rolls his hips slightly faster against you and when his breathing changes you know he is close. You roll your hips up to encourage him, but he refuses to come before you and his finger searches and finds your clit which he presses and caresses.

"Cum with me." he says sultry.

That's all you need to reach your peak and you shake and tremble beneath him your walls clench around his shaft and you draw him with you over the cliff. Breathing violently he lets himself slide out of you and pulls you immediately against him. He kisses your forehead and you sigh satisfactory.

"Can you and Ethan look after the kids when I'm gone with Amelia? I don't think it's very...appropriate to have them there while we are looking for lingerie."

"Sure, on one condition."

"What?"

"You buy something for yourself too."

"Tom, I don't need...."

"Shh,"he says and silences you with a kiss before looking at you,"you can never have enough lingerie, darling."

"Okay." you smile.

 

The next day you pick up Amelia at ten o'clock and Ethan and Tom decide to go to the arcade with the children so they can play, you agree to meet there. Not much later you and Amelia walk into a lingerie shop and Amelia immediately stops mid-step making you turn around and walk towards her.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes, I just .... I've never done this before, I have no idea what I look beautiful in, I do not even know what Ethan likes." she says.

"Do not worry, Ethan is a man, and a man finds a woman in lingerie irresistible, come on."

You take her hand and want to continue but Amelia is not convinced.

"Trust me, okay, just the mere thought that you bought sexy lingerie to wear just for him, he will find amazing."

You walk through the store together, immediately there comes a shop assistant to you and you feel resistance with Amelia but before the woman can say anything you tell her smiling that you do not need help and you go on your way. Halfway through the store you turn around and look at her.

"Okay, you know a little bit what you want?"

"No, I have no idea."

"Okay, um, well, there's a lot you can choose, a bra and briefs, plus suspenders, garters, catsuits, bodysuits, even high-heeled pumps. But also things like a babydoll, dresses, kimonos, corsets,"you say as you swing around you with your arms,"you tell me. "

You look at Amelia, but the look in her eyes are so desperate that you sigh.

"I'm sorry." she says.

"That's all right, okay let me look, why do not we start with a hipster briefs with the sides of lace, a matching bra, and a kimono?"

"Okay."

You walk towards the right rack and begin to collect the stuff and when you give everything to Amelia she looks at it while holding it.

"Red?" she asks.

"Yes, absolutely red, men associate the color red with love, passion, can not go wrong, go fit."

Amelia goes to the changing rooms and tries the clothes while you wander through the store. Suddenly you are faced with a mannequin with a beautiful white lingerieset, a white string with above it a top with built-in bra cups and below an opening which creates two flaps. But what draws your attention are the wings on her back, slowly you walk to the back of the mannequin and see that the wings are loose. Just when your hand reaches for it you hear Amelia whisper your name and you look over your shoulder. She beckons you with her finger that you have to come to her and when you stand next to her changing room you frown eyebrows.

"Your not getting out?"

"No,"she says,"your coming in."

You laugh and step around the curtain to see her and you nod satisfied.

"What do you think?"

"Well, it looks kind of nice, and it feels comfortable, more then I thought." she says.

She looks in the mirror and turns her lower body to look at herself.

"It looks great on you, Ethan will not know what he sees."

Amelia smiles at you and then presses her lips together.

"What is it?"

"Well, I even feel a little .... sexy."

"Why don't you change clothes and look around a bit, perhaps you'll see more things you can try?"

"Okay, your going to fit that?" she asks.

"What?"

"That set you where looking at."

"Oh," you say, and look at it,"I do not know, it's very nice, what do you think about the wings?"

"Unusual."

"Not too much?"

"Try it otherwise."

"Okay."

When you have the set and look at yourself in the mirror ten minutes later you have to admit that it looks kinda nice and the wings only complete it and you decide to buy it. When you are coming out of the changing room you see Amelia with two bags.

"You found more?"

"Yes, something more revealing."

"He will love it all. I'm going to pay."

"I'll see you outside."

Amelia walks out while you walk to the checkout and five minutes later you walk out looking for a way to arcades where the men and the children are. When you found it you walk inside and because it's huge inside you have to walk around for a bit before you see them sitting and you walk towards them. The men get up and give you a kiss, Tom gives Lucy to you and you kiss her cheek, the girl coos of pleasure to see you again and waves the Loki hug excitedly back and forth.

"Found something, darling?" Tom asks you.

"Yes." the short answer.

"Can I see it?"

"No."

Tom pulls a pout and you laugh and when Ethan pulls the same face you know that he can not see Amelia's purchases too. As you drink coffee Amelia and Ethan watch their children but you and Tom only have eyes for each other and your little girl. You know that as soon you'll be back in London, you have to share Tom with his fans again. When you suddenly hear Anna calling for her mother very loud, you look around and you see her come running with tears in her eyes, Amelia opens her arms for her daughter and she runs into them.

"Hey, what's with the tears?"

Anna sobs several times before she looks at her mother and Amelia wipes the tears of her daughter away.

"I fell."

"You fell? Did you hurt yourself?"

Anna puts her arm forward and points at her wrist but before Amelia can do something Ethan takes the wrist of his daughter and brings it to his mouth.

"Let me kiss and make it better."

He places his lips against his daughter's wrist but instead of kissing he blows it and Anna begins to laugh while she withdraws her arm from her father's hand.

"That tickles." she chuckles.

"That tickles? Does it still hurt?"

Anna shakes her head and tilts it to the side.

"Come here, you."

Ethan pulls his daughter to him and hugs her extensively and blows against her neck making her laughing hysterically while she pushes against his chest with her small hands, trying to get away. The scene is sweet and endearing and you smile, then you see a paper lying on the table and you take it.

"What is that?" Tom asks.

"They are organizing a party on New Year's Eve, at the same place where the Christmas dinner was. Everyone is invited, there is food and drinks and fireworks at midnight."

"You want to go?" Tom asks.

"I don't know," you say, hesitanting, you dare a glance at Ethan and Amelia but they are busy with Anna and Jacob, who now is also standing with them,"it's our first New Year's Eve together, I want to be with you and Lucy, not with I do not know how many strangers. "

"I feel the same way, what about Amelia and Ethan?"

"They are welcome, if they want to come."

"Ethan?" Tom asks.

"Yes."

"You want to come to us on New Year's Eve? Celebrating New Year's Eve and watch the fireworks?"

"Yeah sure."

"Okay, that's agreed."


	97. chapter 93

The following days are spent relatively calm, during the day you go your own way and in the evening eat together and talk about what you have done. Also you and Tom take Anna and Jacob along one day to give Ethan and Amelia some time together. You walk with Lucy in the baby carrier on your stomach so Tom is at the mercy of children, something he does not mind. 

In the beginning, little Anna is still a little reluctant and remains primarily with you while Jacob grabbed Tom's hand when you left and has not let him go, and the result is that the boy drags him everywhere and Tom is allowing it happily.

After a walk of about an hour you arrive at one of the beaches and you pull Lucy firmly against you to keep the blowing sand out of her eyes. You look at Tom and see him and Jacob running back and forth along the shoreline, and when the kid gets tired Tom lifts him making him laugh. Eventually Anna also gives in, seeing how much fun her brother is having, and she leaves your side to run to Jacob and Tom and she immediately grabs Tom's hand, making him look at her.

"Hey, look who we have here, hello sweet girl."

"Me too."

"You too?"

"Run."

"Oh you also want to run? Come on, then."

The three of them run away and not much later it is Anna's turn to be lifted and when Tom turns a circle the girl screams with pleasure. It is at the end of the day when you come home and while Tom gives his daughter the bottle the kids watch TV and you make dinner ready. Because Ethan and Amelia go out for dinner she has told you what things the kids like and while the fries, croquettes and frikandellen are in the fryer you make a salad so that the children at least get something healthy inside them, when two arms slip around your waist and you feel two lips in your neck you smile.

"Need help?"

"No, you?"

"With what?"

"With entertaining two small children."

"The television entertains the kids at the moment."

"You were great with them this afternoon, they are clearly crazy about you."

"They are lovely children, I find them very nice and I can not wait to get a few more with you, darling."

"This is just one day, having them around you 24/7 is a whole other thing."

"I know but I would love it, every minute, it's so fullfilling, making them laugh and play with them."

"Tom!" you hear Jacob shout out of the room and you laugh.

"You really do not need help?"

"No, go, I'll call you when it's ready."

"Okay."

He gives you a kiss on the cheek before he walks into the room again and you immediately hear Jacob telling animatedly about what he has seen on the TV. When the food is ready half an hour later you walk into the room and you smile at the scene you see. Tom is in the middle of the couch, Jacob on his right, watching TV and Anna has pulled her legs up and is curled against Tom's side, head on his collarbone and his arm around the girls shoulder. 

"Dinner is ready." you say.

The kids, knowing what is on the menu, jump up from the couch and run into the kitchen but they wait with taking it untill you tell them.

At last you give Tom and yourself something and you follow the kids into the room, they are not sitting on the couch but on the floor so they can place the plate on the table and you smile while you and Tom sit down.

When dinner is done you clean up the kitchen and after your done you walk back into the room, Jacob is still on the ground, elbows on the table, head in his hands but Anna has sat down on the couch, again curled up against Tom and when you come closer you see her eyes are closed. When you sit down on your knees beside the couch Tom looks at you.

"How long has she been sleeping?"

"About fifteen minutes."

"Try waking her up."

Tom sits slightly upright, rubbing his finger over the girl's cheek and she stirs but doesn't wake up. When Tom softly calls her name she sighs deeply, but you do not get more response then that.

"Maybe you should lie her in our bed."

"Okay."

You take some distance so that Tom can stand up and he lifts the little girl into his arms to take her to your bedroom and you smile. About an hour later Jacob begins to yawn and just when you want to say something the doorbell rings. Jacob immediately jumps up and runs to the door to greet his mum and dad, Ethan picking his son up and placing him on his hip. When they walk into the room you see the smile on Amelia's face and their hands that hold each other.

"Where's Anna?" Amelia questions.

"She is sleeping in our bed, fell asleep after dinner."

"Oh, they were not too troublesome, I hope?"

"No, not at all, they are wonderful children." Tom says.

Ethan puts Jacob on the floor and walks to the bedroom to collect his daughter and Jacob whines a bit but when Tom suddenly lifts him and he tickles the shrieks of laughter.

"How was it?"

"Great, it was so long ago that Ethan and I really had time for each other."

"That's good to hear." you say.

When Ethan comes back with the still sleeping Anna in his arms Amelia takes over Jacob from Tom and they take leave of you.

"I'm going to look at Lucy." you say.

"Okay."

Once you've looked at your daughter, who is sleeping, you walk through the bedroom and into the room towards Tom who is sitting on the couch. He sees you coming and smiles, reaching out his hand to you which you take and you straddle him on the couch. Your eyes keep looking at each other while you lean forward, frame his face with your hands and kiss him deeply. Tongues playfully slide around one another and his fingers slide up and down along your side and eventually disappear under your shirt to caress your bare skin, making you tingle inside. Tom's head is leaning on the backrest of the couch and you softly bite into his lower lip and he moans into your mouth. You feel how Tom slides your shirt up and your arms stretch so he can pull it off you and he throws it away.

While your eyes stay connected his fingers move down and open your pants, you get up so he can pull it off you before you sit on your knees between his legs and begin with his pants and when it is open, he comes up so you can pull the pants off and you throw it to join your own shirt and trousers in a heap. Tom draws you back on his lap and your fingers move to the hem of his shirt, sliding your fingers underneath and up, taking the shirt with you and that also ends up on the pile of clothing on the floor.

Tom let his fingers slide up and he opens the clasp of your bra and when that is also on the ground, he comes forward and his lips close around your nipple, he washes his tongue over it and gently scrapes with his teeth, and when he gently bites into it you groan and your fingers slide into his hair, his hands slide down and disappear into your panties to cup your buttocks. He squeezes it and pushes you against him while rolling his hips up making you feel how hard he is.

"Fuck, I'm so hard for you."

"Feels good," you moan,"but I'm sure it will feel so much better inside me." 

Tom smiles and one of his fingers slide down and pushes aside your panties.

"Let me feel if your wet enough for me."

Slowly he slips two fingers through your folds and he moans at the feeling.

"You are soaking wet, darling, I'm sure it will slide inside you all the way in one go."

Tom slides his hands out of your panties and they rest on your hips while yours slip underneath the waistband of his boxer to free his erection from his too tight surroundings, you jerk him of for a moment until you see a bit of pre-cum and when you come up Tom pushes your panties aside and you place his erection against your folds. Slowly you lower yourself until he fills you completely, you place your hands on the back of the couch while Tom lays his head against it and you look at him.

"Fuck me, Thomas." you gasp.

His grip tightens on your hips as he slowly thrust his hips up, the thrusts are powerful but because he holds you firmly he penetrates you so deeply. With each thrust you groan and your breasts move back and forth by the force, your eyes keep looking at each other and all you see is lust. When you feel your climax approaching you lay your forehead against his, a hand slowly slides up your back and ends up in your neck so that he can draw you up and he can kiss and lick your neck.

"Make me cum." you gasp.

When Tom bites in your neck an orgasm washes through your body and you shake and tremble, Tom thrust a few more times hard and deep inside you before he cums and you remain sitting for a moment. When your breathing is normal Tom stands with you in his arms and you put your legs around his waist. When his limp cock slips out of your still soggy cunt both of you moan and vague you notice how he lays you in bed and lies down next to you. He gathers you close to him and kisses your shoulder before you hear him whisper in your ear how much he loves you.

 

On New Year's Eve you get the ingredients together with Anna and Amalia that you need to make canapés and other small things to celebrate the evening while Tom, Ethan and Jacob care for drinks and to see if they can get sparklers for the children. Jacob tries to persuade his father to also buy firecrackers but Ethan finds him too young for that. Jacob mutters something but when Ethan suddenly lifts up his son and tickles him, he bursts out laughing. You meet at noon in a restaurant for lunch and when you are in the cabin again two hours later, you go along with Amelia to get the food ready while Anna plays with Lucy and Ethan, Tom and Jacob sit on the couch and look at the fireworks. By the end of the afternoon, the food is ready and you and Amelia have placed it on the table, there are several tarts with rich content of fruits, marzipan, icing and little tarts filled with meat. You also have bought several bags of chips with vinegar flavor, you yourself find it nasty but Ethan and Jacob and even Tom seem to like it. 

"So,"you say and look at Amelia,"we never had the change to talk about if you have been able to show your sexy side to Ethan."

Amelia laughs and even blushes a little.

"I take that as a yes."

"Yes, yes I had, we got home early after dinner because I told him I had a surprise for him and after I slipped it on and walked into the bedroom, god the way he looked at me, I've never seen him looking at me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like he was seeing me for the first time,"she says and smiles,"not only with the love I always see there but there was also lust, desire passion and want in them."

"How was it?"

"Amazing, the way he touched me, kissed me....you were right, him seeing me in lingerie, knowing I was wearing it just for him...it egnited the smoldering fire that was inside him and the.....session that followed was incredible."

"Glad I could help. So, does this mean you will buy lingerie more often?"

"Yes!" she says with conviction.

Suddenly you feel a cramp in your stomach and you take the arm of the chair for support.

"Y/N?" you hear Amelia say.

"Yeah."

"Are you okay?"

"Fine, I'm fine, I just suffer from cramps the last few weeks."

"What kind of cramps?"

"Like my abdomen is contracting, sometimes combined with a stabbing in my side, and I have been loosing some blood." you say softly while you sit down.

Amelia sits down next to you and takes your hand.

"What did the blood look like?"

"Well, it was bright red, very bright."you say.

"Maybe you should see a doctor after we get home."

"How long did it take before your menstruation began again after the pregnancy?"

"Oh, uhm, well, that was different, after Jacob surely a few months after Anna, however, after only six weeks. The doctor said that was because my body had experienced it before and recovered more quickly. Do you think it is that?"

"I honestly don't know."

"What does Tom say about it?"

"Tom does not know."

"Don't you think he should know this? What if you had...."

"No, don't say it, please, I can't.....it's probably nothing, please don't tell him anything."

"Everything okay here?" you suddenly hear Tom ask.

"Yes," you say, standing up and walking over to him,"everything is fine, we're done."

"Oh well, that's good because we are getting hungry."

"The appetizers are for tonight." you say.

"We have made so many, y/n, we have enough for an orphanage."

"Okay, go back to the living room, We'll bring something."

"Great."

Tom gives you another kiss before he turns and walks into the room again. Amelia grabs a plate and puts a number of appetizers on it and places the rest in the refrigerator while you get the drinks and together you walk into the room. Anna is still playing with Lucy and Jacob is now watching at the TV, Amelia sits down next to Ethan and you take a seat next to Tom.

At the beginning of the evening you give Lucy a bottle before you bring her to bed with Tom. When Anna has trouble keeping her eyes open mid-evening Amelia asks if she can put her daughter in your bed.

"I do not want to go bed!" The girl calls all of a sudden.

"Anna you are tired, your falling asleep."

"I want to stay awake for the fireworks." she says with a pout.

"Oh sweetie I know that," Amelia says and embraces her daughter,"but it takes several hours before the fireworks begin."

Anna creeps into the embrace of her mother and closes her eyes.

"Will you wake me up?" she murmurs.

"Yes, I will wake you up." Amelia promises.

Anna allows Amelia to lift her up and she takes her to your bed and when she comes back she looks at Jacob.

"And you?"

"I can stay awake." he says firmly.

"Okay, we'll see." Amelia laughs.

To the surprise of his parents Jacob indeed remains awake without much difficulty and when it is almost midnight, Ethan walks to your bedroom to wake Anna up.

"Do you think we should wake Lucy?" you ask Tom.

"I don't know, she'll love the fireworks."

"I'll see whether I can wake her up."

On the way to Lucy's nursery you walk through your bedroom and see that Ethan is trying to wake Anna but has little success. When you look in the cradle of your daughter you see she is sleeping and you hesitate, yet you gently stroke your finger across her cheek and whisper her name. For a moment nothing happens but then she slowly opens her eyes and looks at you, she immediately smiles around her pacifier at you and while her little legs start trampling she stretches her arms out to you. You smile and gently lift your daughter out of her crib and into your arms.

"Hey baby, you want to see the fireworks?"

Lucy coos excited and swings the Loki-hug back and forth and you walk out of the nursery, through the bedroom, where Anna is still asleep and into the room. When Tom sees you he smiles and he walks over to you. He takes Lucy from you and gives his daughter a kiss on her cheek before he puts her against his chest.

"I see you had more success with your daughter then me." Ethan laughs.

You smile and while Jacob and Ethan take the sparkles and walk outside, followed by Amelia, you and Tom stay inside, intend to watch the fireworks from behind the window. Tom places his arm around your shoulder and pulls you close, making you place your hand on the back of your daughter, lacing it with Tom's.

"I love you, y/n, and I want to thank you for everything you have givin me this past year; yourself, your love, your hand to make you my wife, this beautifull precious little girl and I hope that the next year will be just as full of all of that,"he says and looks at you,"happy New Year darling."

"Happy New Year, sweetheart." 

You smile at each other before you kiss deeply and when you let go you both look at Lucy and you wish her a Happy New Year too and kiss her cheek right at the moment the fireworks start and Lucy is startled, her head snaps around towards the sound and when she sees the fireworks in the sky her face lights up for a moment but it's short lived. You notice immediately that something is wrong when her corners of her mouth go down and she starts to cry.

"Oh dear." you say.

You take Lucy over from Tom and hug her while Tom rubs her back. When Lucy is calm after a few minutes you turn yourself so she can see the fireworks again and she sobs several times before she lifts her head.

"It's just fireworks, and it is very far away and we are safe behind the glass. Nothing can happen, your safe behind the glass."

"Your mother and I will always make every effort to guarantee your safety, we will always protect you against everything, darling."

Suddenly you moment is disturbed by a door that swings open and Anna who runs into the room.

"Fireworks!" she shouts.

You and Tom laugh at her and Anna puts her hands against the glass and presses her nose against the glass to watch outside where Jacob holds his star. Amelia gestures that she should come out and when she is with them, she also gets a star and Ethan lights it for her. Lucy responds by stretching out her arms to the window and you look at her, the blue eyes of your daughter are almost fixated on the star and she makes soft cooing sounds.

"I think your daughter wants a star too." you say.

"Oh is that so, well then she must wait a little longer for that."

Tom takes his daughter over from you and he kisses her temple after which she lays her head against her father's collarbone, Tom lets his fingers slowly slide down her back and suddenly starts singing a lullaby. It is not long before Lucy is asleep and together you bring her to bed and when you walk inside the room half an hour later Amelia Ethan and their kids are eating in the kitchen. When you see them you walk inside and they stand up and wish you a happy new year and then you and Tom also start eating.

 

The remaining days go by peacefully, you still have cramps sometimes but not nearly as intense as that night in the kitchen when Amelia was with you. However, on your last night you are woken up by an intense pain in your stomach and you sit upright with a jerk, moaning and hands pressed against your stomach. Tom is awake instantly and also sits up and puts a hand on your back.

"Y/N, what is it?"

"It hurts."

"What hurts?"

"My stomach, oh god."

"What do you feel?"

"As if my stomach is being wrung out."

You moan in pain and squeeze your eyes closed, making tears fall down your cheeks, you feel how Tom lays his arms around you and presses you against his chest, hand rubbing your back and the other cupping the back of your head.

"Sshh, it's okay, calm down, take a deep breath."

You do what he says and concentrate on his voice and finally the pain disappears. Tom leans backwards in order to look at you and he wipes away your tears before brushes a strand of hair behind your ear.

"You okay now?" he asks.

You look at him and his blue eyes radiate worry, you nod slowly.

"Yes, yes, the pain is gone."

"What brought it on?"

"I do not know." you say.

Suddenly you get nervous, afraid that Tom can read in your eyes that you are holding something back for him, and you loosen yourself from him.

"Y/N?"

"I need to go outside."

"What? Y/N ...."

When you're standing next to the bed you pull on a nightgown.

"I need some air."

"Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, just...I'll be fine, I'll be right back, go back to sleep."


	98. chapter 94

When you stand outside you grab the railing and you close your eyes, take a deep breath and open your eyes to then look at the stars.

"Y/N?"

"Tom, I told you not to...." however your words die on your lips when you see the look in his eyes,"what's wrong?"

"There's blood in the sheet." he says.

"What?"

"There's blood in the sheet on your side where you were sitting, just now, when you had that cramp."

Your mouth opens and closes, and your brain is working at full speed to invent something and when Tom steps towards you, you put a step back.

"I..."

"What?"

You have no idea what to say but you have a vague suspicion that it does not matter too.

"This was not the first time you had cramps, was it?"

"No," you say, and look away but when Tom lays his forefinger under your chin to lift your face up you look at him and you see disappointment,"I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you say something to me?"

"Because you already have enough on your mind, you are recuperating and you need your rest and if I would tell you I was having cramps you would get, well, like this, worried and a little stressed and you don't need that and it's probably nothing serious."

"You do not know that."

"No I do not but I personally think it's my menstrual cycle which is starting up again."

"Are you sure?"

"No."

"Okay, come here you,"he says and takes you in his arms,"when we are back in London I want you to call the doctor and make an appointment."

"Tom, you're overreacting."

"I do not care, when it comes to you, I am taking no risks, darling." he says and kisses your crown.

"What about the premiere of Blackhat?"

"Well, Chris and Elsa will find it ashame that you're not there, but when I tell them .....can I tell them what the reason is?"

"Yes of course."

"You do realize that Elsa will call you to ask how you are?"

"Yes, I do and that's fine, it will be nice to talk to her again."

"Okay, let's go back to bed."

The next morning you wake up early, you give Lucy her bottle and when you have laid her back down in her cradle Tom is also awake and after breakfast you pack the suitcases. Tom does not want you carrying a suitcase and he remains near you continuously to make sure you take it easy. When you're on the boat, and Tom and Ethan go get something to eat Amelia moves towards you.

"He knows, doesn't he?"

"Yes, I have had a severe cramp last night and he woke up and there was blood on the sheet, I had no choice. As soon as I get home Tom wants me to make an appointment with the doctor."

"I think it's sweet that he is so worried about you."

"Oh it seems sweet but sometimes he goes a bit too far."

"You can't blame him after what happened with Lucy's pregnancy."

"I don't, I just hope to know what it is within four days, Tom has to..." you stop suddenly.

"He has to what?"

"Sorry, can not say anything, top secret."

Amelia laughs and looks ahead.

"That's okay. I get it. You want me to go with you?"

"No, that's okay, I'll be fine."

"And Lucy?"

"Well, we had planned on going to this premiere in Hollywood of a movie one of his best friends plays the leading role in and bring Lucy to Tom's parents, but since I'm not going I could cancell but I think that seeing they have had to miss her with Christmas and New Year I know they must be looking forward to it so I think I'm going to bring her anyway. Also gives me some alone time."

"Good idea."

"What if I had a miscarriage? And what if the doctors after they see what has happened during Lucy's pregnancy, advise me to not get pregnant again? "

"You must not think about that and besides every pregnancy is different, what happened during Lucy's pregnancy is not a garantee that it will happen again."

"I know, Tom has said so many times that he wants a big family what if I can not give him that? If I can not fulfill his dream."

"It scares you." Amelia says.

"Yes it does, I do not want to lose him."

"Hey, you will not lose him, I see how much he loves you, even if you can not give him the large family he wants, he will not leave you. But promise me one thing."

"What?"

"If the doctor establishes that you have had a miscarriage you have to tell Tom."

"I do?"

"Yes, losing a child, however small, is very intense, it's okay to wait with that untill he is back from....whatever he has to do, but he has the right to know that he has also lost a child, he has the right to mourn too."

"Oké." you promis.

About two hours later, you sit on the plane, Amelia Ethan and the kids some seats away from you so it's just you Lucy and Tom, something you do not mind. Tom has Lucy in his lap again, the little girl is looking outside while Tom leans his head against the support and looks outside too. Suddenly you have the need to feel him and you take his arm to lift it up and you duck underneath it to lay your hand on his chest and your cheek on his collarbone. Tom looks at you and when he gently moves his fingers over your cheek you look up at him.

"You okay?"

"Fine, just tired."

"Did you have any cramps since last night?"

"No."

"Good, try to get some sleep, darling."

"Okay."

You lay your cheek back on his collarbone and snuggle closer into his embrace while he kisses your head before he pulls you tighter agaist him. You sigh satisfied and soon you fall asleep. 

When you are about to land Tom carefully wakes you and then he places Lucy right in his lap. She still doesn't like to be trapped between the seat belt and her father, but more than a whimper she doesn't give. The walk across the airport is a bit of a mess, apparently fans in Italy saw Tom got on the plane and posted it so that a handful of fans are waiting for a picture or autograph and Tom looks at you quizzically.

"You know I never want to take away time with your fans but we have only one day before we are completly cut off of each other for two full weeks, I just want to spent every minute we have with you. I'm sorry."

"It does not matter."

Tom gives you a kiss on your temple and waves to the fans while you walk to the exit. After a drive of half an hour you arrive at your house and when you said goodbye to Ethan Amelia and the kids you enter your home. The hours until Lucy has to go to bed you spend by playing with her and when she lies in bed you call the doctor to make an appointment but she doesn't have time for you untill the next week. The rest of the evening you silently watch some TV, curled against Tom's side before you go to bed.

In bed you lie on your side and Tom lies close to you, arm around your waist and head into your neck.

Tom draws you against him and your arms move around his neck while his gently caress your back. The keep moving up and down making you shiver and when his fingertips aply some pressure on your spine your breath hitches in your troat. Tom notices and smiles while he moves those fingers down your back and over your hip towards your kneecap to hoist your leg over his hip. He pulls you up a little and let's his cock slide between your legs, he slowly begins to roll his hips forward while he places his hand on your buttock to push you against him and soon you begin to move with him. It's slow and sweet and although Tom doesn't penetrate you but let's his cock slide between your folds you feel the tension inside you building up to a climax. The closer you get the heavier your breathing gets and when you feel an orgasm roll through your body you bury your face in his neck. Tom keep rocking his hips up a couple of times before he cums too and he moves his hand up from your buttock and around your waist to pull you closer against his chest. For some time your heavy breathing is the only thing heard in the room and when you have come down from your high you roll on your back. When you hear Lucy crying Tom already comes into motion but you take his hand.

"No, I'll go, you need your rest, you have three busy weeks ahead of you."

You give Tom a kiss before you walk into Lucy's nursery and you slowly lift the girl. You sit down in the rocking chair and lay her against your chest, one of your hands behind her head and the other under her bottoms. You gently kiss her head while you're rocking.

"How would you like it to be big sister, hm?"

You lean backward to look at your daughter, she sucks on her thumb and sobs several times.

"It would be very fast, wouldn't it."

If you are pregnant again you wonder whether there is a higher risk that the placenta will tear again but then Amelia's words echo through your mind, that every pregnancy is different than the last, so you hope that there is no additional risk involved, by the time you're highly pregnant Lucy will be around a year and fully engaged in learning to walk and grab things she can not touch.

You are thankful for the promise Tom has made, to be with you for the last weeks of your pregnancy but you can't help but wonder whether he can live up to his promise. You hope, of course, that he can, you want him there when your water breaks, you want him to take you to the hospital and you want his support and his help from beginning to end.

But that also means that he may have to refuse the role of a lifetime. Should it ever get that far, then you will always feel guilty towards him, you know how important acting is for him and how incredibly hard he has worked to get this far so you hope it never comes to that. You think back to the conversation you had with him when he stood outside your door that evening, now more than a year ago. That he told you, you never could stand in his way, could never hold him back and you wonder that if the time comes, whether he still thinks that way about it.

When you suddenly hear Lucy breathe deeply you look at her and see that she is sleeping again, carefully you stand up and place her in her cradle, you lay the Loki hug against her side and softly sneak out of the room.

 

The next day you enjoy each other as much as possible, sometimes you feel a pang in your stomach and even though you try to hide it from Tom he still notices. He does as much as possible with Lucy, giving her the bottle, change her diapers and bathe her, not only to give you rest but also because he has to miss her for three weeks. Diana and James have invited you for dinner and to your surprise, but also joy Emma, Dean and the children are there and they have also brought Oakley, Jason is continually found close to Tom and Levi, who now can walk properly, always find his way to you. When the children sit in front of the TV after eating and Lucy is sleeping in her travel cot, you sit around the table drinking coffee when Emma turns towards you.

"Are you alright?"

"What makes you say I'm not?" you ask.

"The way Tom treats you, he just looks more focused on you than usual."

You and Tom look at each other and you drink your coffee before you take Tom's hand and explain what happened during the holidays.

"Oh honey I'm sorry to hear that, I hope it's nothing serious."

"Me too."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Emma suggests.

"No I'll be fine, I'll let you know how it went."

"You still have cramps?" Diana asks.

"Sometimes, but not ones as bad as the last night on holliday."

The rest of the evening is spent talking and laughing and at the end of it you and Tom say goodbye to Lucy and Oakley and the rest and you drive home. On the way home you stare out of the window and hardly notice it when Tom takes your hand but when he gives it a soft kiss you look at him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, fine, just..."

"Just what?"

"Bit scared I guess."

"About the appointment with the doctor?"

"Yeah, about what he will find."

"I wish I could go with you."

"Me too."

"Promis me you call me as soon as you leave."

"I will try but you will be in lockdown...."

"And I will talk to Kevin about that, I'm sure he will understand."

"I hope so."

After you arrived home Tom parks the car and even before you have the change to open your door, he is already beside you, opening the car door for you and reaching out his hand which you talk. He takes you inside the house and throws the keys into the bowl on the cabinet and when he turns back you suddenly fist your hands in his coat and pull him towards you to kiss him passionatly. Tom stumbles back in surprise and falls against the door while the kiss continues and your hands push his coat off of his shoulders. His hands remove your coat and they instantly disappear underneath your jumper. You break the kiss to breath before your lips attach themselves to his neck and kissing and biting they find a way down. Tom's breathing is ragged and one hand cups the back of your head while your fingers undo the buttons of his shirt one by one only to be pushed off his shoudlers too and you reveal his musscled chest. Your fingers move lightly over them and they twith under your touch while your lips trail a path down and your tongue washes over his nipple before playfully biting it. You smile and look up at him through your eyelashes, your eyes meet dark blue full of lust and desire, while your fingers move further down to open his pants and you waist no time in pushing it down and your fingers directly slip beneath the waistband of his boxer to take him in hand.

"Oh, fuck." he moans and his head falls with a thud against the door.

Satisfied with the response you fall on your knees before him and while you jerk him off you pull his boxer down with the other hand. Your fingers curl around his balls and you caress them gently, Tom grabs the doorknob for support with one hand while the fingers of the other slip in your hair. When you envelope his cock with your mouth and it immediately take him in as far as you can, a muffled curse slips over his lips.

"Oh my god, y/n...." it sounds frenzied above you.

It makes your lips move faster over his shaft and the fingers of one hand move to his base while the other slowly finds a way to his perineum and you are circling your finger around it before you push lightly. You feel his cock twitch in your mouth and you know he is close, you suck your cheeks hollow but before you get the chance to make him cum his fingers tighten in your hair to pull you of his cock.

"Y/N, please..."

Although you'd like to taste him you allow him to pull you up and kiss you fiercely.

"Not that I'm complaining, but where did this come from?" he says against your lips.

"I suddenly had the intense desire to feel you."

"Hmm, shit, I want to fuck you so hard right now."

"Please do."

"Are you sure? I don't want to damage something on the inside."

"I take full responsibility if that happens, just please fuck me, Thomas, so hard I will be able to feel you for days."

Tom steps out of his pants and boxer before he kisses you and while he pushes you to the couch he strips you of your clothes. When you are standing next to the couch your naked and you drape yourself over the couch, you open your arms for your love and he smiles as he positions himself between your legs, he leans forward to kiss you one more time before he places his cock against your folds. He grabs your hands and places them on the armrest of the couch behind you and he looks at you with blue eyes, cloudy with lust and desire.

"Come on, Thomas, make me feel it."

The words are hardly over your lips when Tom buries his cock deep inside you with a firm roll of his hips. The air is sucked out of your lungs and you wheeze by the treatment.

"Sorry, I'm sorry." he whispers.

"Don't, I wanted this, I asked for this."

Tom nods and starts to thrust hard and deep, you moan with each thrust inward and each outward movement your muscles clamp around him making him groan.

"Oh, fuck, I feel you so good, so deep, go harder."

You curl your fingers around his and squeeze while you bring your hips up, meeting his thrusts. Tom's thrusts become harder and deeper and with every stroke the couch moves over the floor by the force. With a particularly hard thrust you arch your back and your neck is beared. You immediately feel Tom's lips in your neck and when he bites the place where your neck meets your shoulder you're thrown into the abyss. You cunt muscles grasp Tom's shaft like a vise and you can hear his moans and gasps for air followed by uncontrolled thrusts, signaling that he is also reaching a climax. Tom keeps your fingers laced while he buries his head in your neck, breathing heavily and for a moment that is the only thing you hear. 

"I love you so damn much, y/n."

"I love you too, my dear husband."

Tom chuckles at your words and kisses your cheek before he looks at you.

"I like it when you call me that." he admits.

"I like it that you have given me the honor to be able to call you that."

"And you will always be the only one that can call me that."

You cup his cheek with one hand and he leans against the touch, when he suddenly swivels his hips moan and a shock washes through your body.

"Oh, do not do that." you say.

"But it is so much fun to see you squirm underneath me."

Tom takes some distance from you and swivels his hips again, getting the same reaction and he smiles.

"Tu es tellement belle."

The last days before Tom leaves you mostly spend with each other and when you have to say goodbye it is again difficult. This time, mainly because he can not go with you to the doctor.

"You can always ask Mom or Emma to go with you."

"No, I'll be fine."

"Promise me that you call as soon as you know something."

"I promise."

One last kiss for you and your daughter and again you keep watching until the lights of his car have disappeared around the corner.

"Well, it's just you and me again, kiddo."

You kiss Lucy's forehead and decide to take her straight to bed and the little girl falls asleep soon.

The day after the Blackhat premiere Elsa calls you to say that she was very sorry that you were not there. You talk for an hour on the phone and she wishes you success at the doctor, you also hint that you're afraid you have had a miscarriage but Elsa indicates that you shouldn't think like that, it could be anything.

Later that evening you surf on the internet and soon you come across photos of Chris and Elsa and also some of Tom, along with Chris and Elsa. When you find a clip of Tom whi is found in the car park by a handful of fans you frown your eyebrows when they start screaming and shouting at him. You know that Tom does not like being treated like that and for a moment you think that when he walks into the elevator with two bodyguards that he is not coming back, but he does come back and urges the fans to calm down and saying that when they do, he will give them an autograph and a photo. You smile, satisfied that they listen to him and you're proud on the way he handled it, a lot of celebrities could learn from it, you think.

On the day of your appointment with the doctor you're nervous, very nervous and you wish you were able to speak to Tom, if only briefly. You'd love to hear his voice to soothe you, something only he ever succeeds in. But you can't, he went into lockdown the day before yesterday, and you've tried several times but you got his voice mail just as many times. When it is time to go you step into the car to sit fifteen minutes later at the desk accros from the doctor. You explain what happened and the doctor does several testst, he withdraws blood, does an internal exam and tells you to wait in the waitingroom. When your alone you try to sit, to read but you can't focus on anything and soon your pacing the room. When the doctor suddenly calls your name your startled but follow him into his office before you sit down accros from him.

"And? Do you know what happened?"

"Yes."


	99. chapter 95

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter with the help of my dear friend, Serena, she helped me a lot with this one, so thank you Serena!  
> \---------------------------------------  
> so this might be a bit of a confusing chapter, but the words in itallic is the past, if you have any questions after, please ask

Your shaking with disappointment, involuntary tears are running down your cheeks and sting your eyes. You take a sip of the Jameson from the glass and try to relax, try to think straight, it's all jumbled up in your head. Normally your not one to drink but this time, after what happened you couldn't resist. You let the last week run through you head in slow motion all at the same time.

Your appointment with the doctor, how you wandered out off the hospital, not really knowing where you where going untill you noticed you were in the park. You sat down on a bench and suddenly rememberd that you needed to call Tom, he needed to know what had happened, how your appointment with the docter went, the horrible news he told you, not only did you had a miscarriage, he also told you, you couldn't have any more children. You needed Tom right now, that movie be damned, he needed to come home, to come back to you, right now and you dailed his number, not even being surprised it went straight to voicemail, Still, you tried him several more times before just staring at the damn thing as if it's your enemy. When suddely some one said your name and you looked up.

*******************************************************************************

_"Lucas, Megan." you say and slowly stand up._

_"Are you okay?" Lucas asks._

_"What? Oh yes, yes I'm fine, I uh...."_

_"Where is Lucy?" Megan asks._

_"Lucy.....she's with Diana and James, she was going there anyway because Tom and I....erm,"you rub the bridge of your nose with your thumb and forefinger to remember but before you do Lucas takes your upperarm and you look at his fingers._

_"Are you sure your okay?"_

_You look up at him, eyes full of concern but you manage to smile at him._

_"Yes, yes, I'm fine, really,"you scrape your throat and look at both of them,"what are you doing here in the middle of the day?"_

_"We have taken a day off from work to spent time together, we just had lunch and tonight we're going out to dinner and catch a movie." Megan says._

_"That sounds nice." you say._

_Both Lucas and Megan smile and Lucas mouth opens again but you cut him off._

_"Go, continue your day together, you deserve it."_

_"Are you sure?" Lucas asks._

_"Yes, don't worry about me."_

_"Okay."_

_Lucas takes Megan's hand and slowly they walk away and when they are gone you sit down again. Several minutes pass before you are starled when some one besides you sighs deeply and you look next to you._

_"Lucas, what are you doing?" you asked._

_"Giving you the change to tell me what is bothering you."_

_"Nothing, where is Megan?" you ask._

_"Megan went home."_

_"Lucas, please go after her."_

_"No."_

_"Lucas..."_

_"Y/N, listen to me,"he says and turns towards you,"we have been through so much, next to Tom I know you better then anyone and I can see something bad happened. I know Tom isn't here so tell me."_

_You look down, still hesitating but Lucas takes your hand in his and with the other he lifts your face so you are looking at him._

_"I care about you, I would even go as far as to say that I love you. Seeing you like this, this sad it breaks my heart, Megan knows that, she understands."_

_"Your lucky to have her." you say._

_"I know. But you also have me, so talk to me."_

_You confide in him, you tell him everything, about the miscariagge, that you can't have children anymore and he consoles you with an embrace, while you lean into it his hands rub your back lovingly while you cry on his shoulder, a soothing word, his lips on your cheeks to kiss your tears away and finally he tucks your head under his chin._

_"I'm so sorry, y/n, have you called Tom yet? Is he on his way to you?"_

_"No, he's.....somewhere for this new movie, it's all very hush hush and top secret so they placed him in lockdown, I can't reach him, I tried several times."_

_You hear Lucas curse and he pulls you a little closer and in response you snuggle closer into his comforting embrace. After some time he leans back and looks at you._

_"Let's get you home, hm?"_

_You nod and let him help you up, with one arm around your shoulder and yours around his waist you walk to your home and when you step inside Oakley comes up to you running and barking and you flinch. Lucas feels it and tries to shield you from him by turning you behind him and petting Oakley on the head._

_"Hey boy, you come with me, I'll get you some food."_

_While Lucas is giving Oakley some food you take off your coat and hang it up before you walk into the livingroom and fall onto the couch, exhausted and you lay your head on the backrest and close your eyes._

_"Hey."_

_You open your eyes and see Lucas hovering above you._

_"Why don't you take a bath, when Oakley is done eating I will walk around the block with him._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Yes, go take a bath."_

_He leans down to kiss your forehead and you smile, thanking your lucky stars you have such a good friend. Slowly you get up and walk to the stairs, looking up you sigh, you really don't have the strenght to go up._

_"You okay?" Lucas asks._

_"Yeah I just...." you turn around and look at him,"I'll use the one that's down here."_

_"Okay."_

_You walk into the downstairs bathroom and while it is filling you hear the front door opening and closing, meaning your alone._

_Your bath takes longer then expected and when you come down again it's almost five in the afternoon. You walk into the livingroom when you suddenly smell something delicious and you walk into the kitchen, seeing Lucas standing behind the stove. You look at the table and then back to Lucas again._

_"Sorry, only for one, I have to get back home, Megan and I can still make it to dinner and that movie."_

_"Of course, go please."_

_"Dinner is ready so you can take some." he says._

_He grabs his jacket and pulls it on before he looks at you and takes your hands in his._

_"Are you going to be okay?" he asks._

_"Yeah, I'll be fine."_

_"I'll come by tomorrow, if that's okay, to see how you are doing."_

_"That will be fine, thank you."_

***************************************************************************

The next few days he visited you frequently to see how you were doing and to help you through the rough time now Tom couldn't, comforting you, playing with Oakley, walking him.

Then, suddenly, three days later Tom called you and you were excited to see his name on the screen but even before you had the change to say something he exploded, he started yelling at you, you had arguments before but he had never yelled at you before. Then the allegations came, apparently someone showed him pictures of you and Lucas on the bench in the park and that you were kissing each other. Long, passionate kisses, his fingers on your back, pulling you closer against him, yours in his hair.

You were taken aback by it, by the harsh words he threw your way, by the pain in his voice, by the thought you were having an affair. You tried more then once to calm him, to talk reason to him but he wouldn't listen to you, he wouldn't let you explain and after he was done with his rant he hung up on you. You stared at the phone in your hands for what seemed like an iternity before you pushed the botton to redail the last number calling you over and over but every time you got voicemail and then a voice telling you this number was out of order.

You take another swallow of the liquid and the bitter taste on your tongue makes you grimas while your mind goes back to the visit from Diana two days later. At first you were glad to see her and your eyes moved to see if James was there too, and Lucy, because you could really do with a hug right now but she was alone and when you looked in her eyes you saw something there you never thought you would see.

*******************************************************************************

_"How could you? How could you do this to him? I thought you loved him." she says._

_She keeps the magazine open on the page where the pictures of you and Lucas are and even before you have a chance to grab the magazine or respond she continues._

_"I was so happy when I heard that you and Tom were finally together and I thought you were happy too?"_

_"I was, I am..."_

_"The pictures prove otherwise."_

_"The pictures..."_

_"Are clear. You know how much Tom loves you, my god I'm so disappointed in you, and to think that I once considered you as a daughter. Does he know this? Does he know that in his absence and while we look after your child, you're hooking up with someone else?"_

_"Uh, yeah, he called. But I..."_

_"Where is he?" Diana asks._

_"I can not tell you that. He's in..."_

_"Yes, I know; he's in lockdown, but this," she says and waves the magazine in your face," is an emergency, I must speak to him, I have to tell him that...."_

_"What?" your question and look at her._

_"Did he ever tell you why James and I got divorced?"_

_"Um, no."_

_"James had an affair."_

_"What?"_

_"James had an affair with an assistant of his, a young girl, I know what Tom is going through, what he experiences, I'm was cheated on too by the one I loved dearly."_

_"I'm not cheating!"_

_"Shut up!" Diana shouts and your mouth falls open in surprise._

_You get tears in your eyes and sob as you walk into the living room and sag into the couch. You put your head in your hands and let your tears flow. You feel the couch next to you dip but do not look up._

_"Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry, I did not mean to yell at you....but why? Why did you do this? Why do you put your marriage with Tom at stake? Why do you risk that Lucy, like her father, grows up in a broken home?"_

_You sigh deeply and turn your face to look at Diana, through the tears in your eyes you see her blurry but you can see the compassion appear in her eyes, the sadness at the realization that you have cheated on her son and you shake your head._

_"I did not ..."_

_"Did not what?"_

_"I'm not cheating on Tom."_

_"But the pictures ..."_

_"The pictures are not real."_

_"What? I do not understand, you have not been in the park with Lucas?"_

_"Yes, I've been sitting in the park with Lucas and yes, he held me but he was consoling me because I...." all of a sudden you bite your lip._

_"Because you what? Why did Lucas had to comfort you? What is going on?"_

_"That's not important, the only thing important to me is that Tom needs to know that Lucas and I have not kissed but because of that stupid lock down I can not reach him."_

_"So you did not cheat on Tom?"_

_"No! I love Tom with all my heart, I would never do that. You have to believe me."_

_"Okay, well, the fact that you are so devastated by it also says something. But why would somebody do this?"_

_"I don't know, and I don't care either, like I said before I need to reach Tom."_

_"I'm sorry."_

_You look at Diana and shake your head._

_"It's okay."_

_"No, it's not, I yelled at you, I said I was disappointed in you that I....I'm so sorry."_

_"Please, Diana, you did what everyone would do when seeing those pictures, including Tom."_

_"When is he coming home?"_

_"In three days, God how in the hell am I going to get through three days like this?" you say, sounding desperate._

_"You want to stay with us? Or you want us to bring Lucy here?"_

_"That's sweet, but no, I think it's better if I first get things straight in my head, Lucy will probably feel how stressed I am right now."_

_"Okay,"Diana says and stands up and so do you,"let me know if you need anything."_

_"I will."_

******************************************************************************

After Diana left you sat down on the couch again, you were relieved you could talk reason to Diana but that was short lived when the letters came. Letters fans of Tom had send you, calling you a whore and a cheater and that you better look over your shoulder when you go outside, his fans were out for blood, your blood for breaking Tom's heart, for cheating on him with some one else. You weren't even surpised with their harsh words or threats, you knew how loyal his fanbase has always been to him. After reading some of them you tossed them on the table, later followed by lot's of other letters you didn't even bothered to open. In some of those letters Lucas was threatened too, you wondered if you should call him, to warn him but he probably already knew, saw the pictures, Megan too, God Megan, you never meant to dragg her into this too, you could only hope she would know that you would never kiss Lucas and seeing she works for a magazine, that she knows how they work and some magazines don't always check if pictures are real if it means they sell megazines and frankly, anything relating Tom sells right now. Megan and Lucas were supposed to come over some days after Tom came home for Lucy's photoshoot and you wonder whether that still stands but your afraid to call her, your done with being yelled at. 

 

You look at your glass again, gulping it down in one go and throwing it in the sink with a force unbeknown to you. You hear the glass smash into a thousand pieces, some of them springing out of the sink with the force, splattering on the ground surrounding you and you let out a scream from the bottom of your soul. Drained of all emotion you sink to the floor crying, not noticing the shards of glass that dig into your knees nor feeling the pain in your legs and your feet. You are completely numb, from head to toe.

It's at this point that the door is flung open and Tom walks in, shouting.

"Y/N!"

He runs upstairs and he slowly descends to ground level where he sees you slumped on the kitchen floor, behind the marble island. He notices the shattered glass in the sink and he clearly sees what has happened. His heart is racing and breaking at the same time. He now knows the truth, but had learnt of the events just as he was bordering the plane in LA. He tried to call, many times, to apologise, but you couldn't or wouldn't pick up. He took the nonstop flight from LA to London. Almost 11 hours, sitting there knowing the truth but not being able to reach you. Over and over, the things he had said galloped through his mind. Even shaking his head could not remove them. Sleep would herald no peace. Just the constant grinding of painful thoughts and conversation and the pain invaded him wave upon wave. As soon as he landed he raced to the long term car park at Heathrow and raced home to apologise and ask your forgiveness.

As he approaches you, he notices all the glass scattered around you and the cuts on your legs that are slightly bleeding. Carrfully he lifts you into his strong arms and as he holds you close tears run down his cheeks, tears of shame and regret.

 

"My Darling darling darling y/n..... I'm so sorry." he whispers, over and over again.

Oddly enough, the one thing that registers, it the concern in his voice. You can't say anything, your only response is your silent tears rolling down your face.

"Oh God... y/n this is all my fault."

You lay slumped in this arms as he carries you upstairs to the bedroom. Once you have been placed gently on the bed, he dashes to the bathroom for the first aid kit. Returning, he slowly removes he shards of glass from your feet and legs.  
You don't even have the strength to react to the pain, but just lay still and motionless. You feel your whole world has been lost and that he believes the worst of you. For all you know he still believes you were unfaithfull to him and you know that is the one thing he will never forgive you for. 

Then why is he doing this? If he truly believes you have been unfaithful, why is he here? The harsh things he said to you, the things he believed were true.

Once the glass has been removed, he places disinfectant on the cuts, still you feel no pain. Each cut is attended to with such care, your eyes fill with tears once more and they roll down the side of your face and into your hair. Tom sees this new wave of despair, kneeling down next to the bed, he kisses your eyes, your damp hair and stained cheeks, uttering words of apologies, words of love and comfort.

A recognisable wave of love washes over you, through you and the tears flow again, this time rocking your body and your whole being. You relax for an instance and then tense again. It's at this point the rage returns, full force.

You push him away with such force he almost falls back and you pull yourself up. Backing up to the furthest part of the bed. As your side hits the headboard, you pull your legs up and lay your arms about them in defence and that's when the pain hits you. All the little cuts spring to life and are replaced by fury. How on earth could he have believed you could ever have been untrue to him, the only man you have ever loved, with all your heart and soul.

Tom makes a move to join you, but you hold up a hand, warning him to stay away. Looking up at his face you see the pain and hurt.

"What are you doing here." you blurt out through gritted teeth.

When you look up you see the look on Toms face and your heart breaks. He is standing at the end of the bed with his head bowed and for the first time you see that he has tears in his eyes.

You push aside all your impulses to crawl over the bed on your bleeding knees and take him in your arms, the fear of rejection is more then you could bare.

"Tom, why are you here? Did you think you were coming here to catch me out, find me in the arms of my lover." you ask him, your tone softer this time.

You could say no more, just slump against the headboard and let more tears stream down you face.

"My Sweetheart, my only love. I'm here because I found out the truth, I should have known you would never betray me, never be unfaithful. I was an idiot. I was showed the photos after an 18 hour day, I was exhausted, drained, hungry....they were extremely well photoshopped and the information that was supplied was so believable. I was beyond reason. But I have since found out that it was one of my assistance in the office who orchestrated the whole thing. The photos of you and Lucas kissing were so real and it feed straight into my jealousy and insecurities. This is all my fault, all of it, you did nothing to deserve all this pain and I am so sorry."

Your heart almost burst in your chest and you start to cry all over again, this time with relief and release. The only thing you could do was put your hands over your face and let it all out. You needed Tom to take you in his arms and tell you everything is alright. Sensing this he moves onto the bed and that attracts your attention, you look at his movements, his arms reaching for you and finally you look at him, blue eyes full of sorrow and regret and pain look back at you while his hands keep coming closer and slowly he pulls you into his arms. The warmth of him, the strength of his arms as he pulled you into him, gently avoiding contact with your legs makes you both sigh with relieve. The smell of him and slowly your heartbeats slow and match each other's in perfect harmony. You can do nothing but let all your senses be soothed by Tom's.

He starts rocking you slowly and you melt further into him. A small voice in your throat says;

"Tom, I love you so much."

You don't even recognise it as yours, but the words are true. Melting all the unanswered questions out of your head, they can wait till later and your world is filled with colour again. Tom pulls the duvet around both of you before he lies down with you in his arms and you both drift off to sleep. The deepest sleep either of you have ever had. Clinging together as if your lives depended upon it. And in a way it actually does.

You both sleep a solid eight hours and when you do awake, there are the most perfect crystal blue eyes staring down at you. Not saying a word he slips his arm around your waist and pulls you close against him, your head tucked under his chin, fingers carressing your back lovingly.

"I want to apologize for the horrible things I have said to you and that I yelled at you." he says while he carresses your back.

"You've never done that before, we have had fights before, but the yelling and the words you spoke to me, you never treated me like that before."

"I know, and I can't apoligize enough for it, darling," he says and kisses the top of your head, weaving his fingers through your hair,"I have never told you why my parents got divorced, haven't I?"

"No but your mother told me."

"My mother?"

"Yes, two days back she was here with that magazine with those pictures in it."

"Oh god, do I even want to know what happened?"

"She uh...pretty much reacted the same towards me as you did."

"God, I'm so sorry."

"We made up though, we're good."

"Good, that's good to hear."

"It explains why you reacted so intense to the pictures of me and Lucas."

"Yes, but that does not make it right, I'm terribly sorry, y/n, but I just worked for 18 hours straight, I was exhausted and hungry and...."

"It's okay, I know you didn't mean to."

"So you forgive me?"

"Yes of course."


	100. chapter 96

He leans back and smiles at you before he leans forward to kiss you, when your lips meet you sigh longingly and he moans into your mouth while his hand lowers to your hip and ends up in the hollow of your knee, he lifts it over his hip and when he rolls his hips forward you feel how hard he is.

Your giggle releases any tension that is left and your smile joins his, his eyes darken with love and lust. You raise your finger to his lips and signal him to be quite. Slowly you remove your t-shirt and knickers. He goes to grab you, but you manoeuvre yourself down the bed, wincing slightly as the cuts move over the bedsheets, but your desire is stronger..... You take Tom fully in your mouth and you hear the familiar gasps and moans coming from Tom.

Because you soon feel the pain in your injured knees you lie down on your stomach while you explore his shaft with your tongue, your fingers curl around his base, massaging gently and rhythmically squeezing it. Tom lets the fingers of one hand disappear in your hair and rolls his hips upward. Your tongue licks the vein below and you lick your way up and then push his foreskin away and let your tongue slide over his frenulum. His breath hitches in his throat and his fingers wrap themselves in your hair. You move your lips slowly up and down his shaft and the fingers of your other hand gently caress his balls. Quickly it becomes too much for him and he pulls you upwards, you crawl over his body, face contorted with pain from the cuts in your knees. Tom sees it in your eyes and slowly he pushes you back on the bed, his body covering your smaller frame and your arms go around his neck.

Before you can say anything he kisses you passionately on your lips and you happily kiss him back. His fingers dance across your skin and you squirm under his touch. Tom smiles against your lips, and when his fingers arrive in the hollow of your knee, he hoists your leg up and over his hip, then slides his hand to the inside of your thigh and he aligns his erection against your folds. Your breath falters in your throat, your heel pushes in his lower back and your hips come up, telling him silently you want him inside you, now. Tom obeys immediately and slowly begins to fill you, rolling his hips forward until he is completely within you. Slowly he begins to thrust and you break the kiss to let a long moan escape your lips. Tom's kisses move to your neck, your shoulder and he bites it gently, your hands disappear into his hair and you pull, making him groan against your skin. While the thrusts go faster his fingers caress wherever they can come and eventually they slide between your legs to caress your clit. It is not long before you feel an orgasm coming and you turn your head, you nuzzle his cheek with your nose and when he turns to you and you are facing each other, you see that he's close. He leans towards you and kisses you deeply, the thrusts go harder and soon you reach a peak together. Instead of letting each other go you keep holding each other, gently kissing, eventually he lets himself roll off you, but he leaves an arm around your waist and pulls you close to him, your head tucked under his chin and you crawl against him, his fingers caressing your back lovingly.

"I have to tell you something." you say.

"What?"

You slowly sit up and he does the same, sheet wrapped around your body and you look at him. Tom cups your cheek and you smile at him, you cover his hand with yours and bring them to your lap.

"You will not like what I have to tell you." you whisper and pluck at the sheet.

Tom looks at you nervously and frowns his eyebrows.

"What? What is it?"

"I .... uhm .... you remember that appointment I had with the doctor?"

"Oh, after our holiday, yes of course, I'm so sorry that I forgot about that. Did he find the cause?"

"Yes, he has found the reason for the cramps and why I lost blood."

"What was it?"

You take a deep breath and close your eyes, you have to tell him but for some reason you can't get it over your lips, you do not want to see the disappointment in his eyes, the disappointment that you can not give him anymore children, that you can't give him the large family he so badly wants. You feel tears in your eyes and you bite your lip.

"Do not do that." Tom say.

He reaches out his hand to you to get your lip from between your teeth but before he gets the chance you get out of bed, wrap your robe around you and run from the room. You run to the landing and grab the railing firmly with your hands, you lean over it and let the tears fall. When you feel a hand slide over your back a loud sob escapes from your lips and immediately you feel Tom's arms that hold you but you refuse to look at him.

"Darling what is going on? You're scaring me. Are you sick or something?"

"No."

"Then what is it? Please talk to me."

"I can't ...."

"You can't what?"

You take a deep breath and turn your head to look at him.

"I can't tell you because I do not want to lose you." you say.

"What? Darling, there's nothing you can tell me which will ever make me leaving you, you know that."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes of course."

Tom frames your face with his hands as he looks at you.

"Tell me, please."

"Okay, so, um, the doctor has done all sorts of tests on me and it turned out that I, uh, was pregnant again."

"Was?"

"Yes, that blood loss during the holidays, it turned out it was a miscarriage." you say and you feel new tears burning behind your eyes.

"A miscarriage? You had a miscarriage?"

"Yes, usually the cramps are more severe and the blood loss is greater but because the baby was still so small ....."

You stop talking, the tears roll down your cheeks and you want to turn away but Tom stops you.

"No, no, come here," he takes you in his arms and kisses your head,"why did you not call me? I would immediately come back to be with you, you know that."

"I know but because you were in that stupid lockdown, I could not reach you, and then Lucas was suddenly there and he helped me. He got me through it. But nothing happened, we never kissed."

"I know, my assistant edited the photos and then she showed me."

"What?" you question and look at him,"why would she do that?"

"Well, apparently she had a crush on me and by confronting me with photos of you kissing with another, she hoped that I would be so devastated with grief that I would fall in her arms. The police raided her apartment there, everywhere were photos of me, even a shrine, it was really creepy ... she is crazy, but she is behind bars now."

You nod and sniff while Tom slips his fingers through your hair before he goes down on his knees in front of you and bares your belly to give a kiss on it.

"We'll just keep trying, you'll get pregnant again."

"No."

Tom looks up at you and frowns.

"Right, I'm sorry, you need time, of course to process this and I will help you through it, I will give you all the time you need before we try again."

"No, Tom, that's not...." you pinch the bridge of your nose before you look at him again.

"What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm trying to tell you I can not have children anymore, Tom."

"What?"

He looks at you in disbelief and comes up slowly.

"I can not give you more children, Lucy's pregnancy and the miscarriage have damaged something, I do not know exactly what, I was in a haze when the doctor said that but the bottom line is that I can not give you your large family you want so badly, I'm sorry."

You manage to loosen yourself from Tom, and you walk into the bedroom and lie down on the bed, your curl into yourself and let the tears run again. When the bed behind you dips you close your eyes and when his arm slides around your waist you push him away.

"Y/N ..."

"No, don't, just don't," you say, and sit up and wipe away your tears,"do not say that it's okay, that you do not mind, and that you can live with it because I now you can not."

Tom reaches his arm out to you but you slide off the bed and begin pacing the room.

"I know that a large family is your biggest wish and I can not make your wish come true so .... so ...." you wave your arm as you search for words.

"So what?"

"So you're free to go."

"To go where?"

"To found the family you've always wanted."

Tom sits up and looks at you in astonishment.

"You give me permission to start a family with another woman?"

"Well when you say it like that it sounds ridiculous."

"Because it is ridiculous!"

Tom gets up from the bed and walks up to you to grab your hands.

"Yes, I've always wanted a big family, that's true and it is very unfortunate that this isn't going to happen, but that's no reason to leave you, silly woman."

Tom frames your face with his hands and wipes away your tears and you look at him.

"You're my everything, my reason for living, my world. And that big family, I only want that with you, never with anyone else."

Tom pushes a lock of hair behind your ear before one of his arms slip around your waist and the other in your hair and he draws you against him. Your arms move around his waist and you sigh relieved.

"I'm so sorry that I lost our baby." you whisper.

"And I am so sorry I wasn't here to be with you when you needed me."

"Your here now." 

You feel so much love and effection coming from him that you feel the tears come again, the tears over the loss you both had. You snuggle closer in his embrace making Tom respond by pulling you tighter against him. Tom let's you cry patiently while his hands rub your back comforting and he softly whispers soothing words to you. You sigh content and let yourself be soothed and confort by him, by his words, his embrace, his love for you. 

"I love you, Tom, so very much, so much more then I ever loved any one else, heart and soul."

"I know."

Then you suddenly hear your stomach rumble and Tom kisses your temple.

"Why don't you get yourself cleaned up a little while I make breakfast." he suggests.

His arms slip from your waist and you follow his movements while he gets dressed before he kisses you again and leaves to make breakfast while you clean your face and slip into a short and top and walk downstairs. You find Tom sitting on the couch with the letters his fans send you, reading them, the frown on his forehead deepening the more he reads. You sigh and walk up to him to grab them but before you get the change to throw them out he stands up and grabs your wrist. 

"They don't mean it."

You smile and turn around to look at him.

"Yes they do, they mean every word of it and you know that too, we both know how loyal they are to you and that they would do anything to protect you against anyone who hurts you and seeing I just broke your heart they want to hurt me."

"Come here."

Tom draws you to him and takes you in his arms to kiss you.

"I know they wouldn't really hurt me, I'm still your wife and they know how much it would hurt you if something would happen to me but still....it hurts."

"I know. Come, let's eat."

Tom leads you into the kitchen and together you sit down, during eating Tom tells you all about filming and the things they did outside the set and how much fun they had. 

"What about Ben and Sophie's wedding?" he suddenly asks.

"What about it?"

"Well, that's next weekend, you still feel up to it?"

"Of course I do, your Ben's best man and I am Sophie's bridesmaid, they are counting on us and besides, it might be good for me to attend such a blissfull thing and maybe it helps that we were married there too, lot's of good memories."

Tom smiles and takes your hand over the table to give a squeeze into it.

"We still have to buy a dress for Lucy."

"We can do that this afternoon." Tom suggests

You bite your lip while looking at your sandwich and when Tom says your name you look up at him.

"What is it?"

"I was just.....Megan was supposed to come this week with Matt and Tony for Lucy's photoshoot."

"Oh right, I completly forgot about that with everything that has happened."

"Yeah, I don't know if it's still going to happen."

"Because of the pictures?"

"Yeah."

"Have you called her?"

"No, I don't really fancy getting yelled at again."

Tom chuckles and you look at him angry.

"This is not funny, they could have broken up because of this."

"I know and I'm sorry, but really, if they would have broken up because of this, don't you think Lucas would have told you by now? And besides that, Megan works for a magazine herself, she knows how easy it is to manipulate pictures."

"I know."

"Call him." he says.

"Okay."

After dinner Tom changes into a jersey and sweatpants and when he has disappeared you grab the stack of letters and walk to the fireplace, you kneel down and light the fire and when it is hot enough you throw the letters in it. You keep watching for some minutes, until only ashes remains of the letters, and then you walk to the phone and pick it up, you hesitate before you dail Lucas number and when he picks up he sounds happy.

"Hi, it's me."

"Y/N?"

"Yeah."

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yes, I'm fine, I'm....well, Tom is home again and we talked it out. Speaking of talking things out, how are you and Megan?"

"Your worried about how she reacted to the pictures, aren't you?"

"Yeah, kinda. Was she mad at me?"

"No, it was a bit of a shock for her to see them but luckely she gave me the change to explain things and she believed me."

"She did? Thank god."

"And she's not mad at you, y/n, she never was. She works for a magazine and knows how some of them work, that they alter pictures to sell and what better subject is there then Tom Hiddleston at the moment, or his wife."

"So the photoshoot is still on then I guess."

"She's really looking forward to that."

"Me too, are you coming too?"

"I don't know, it is a workday, but I'll see if I can slip away for some hours."

"That would be great."

When you hang up you walk to the bathroom and turn on the taps. As the water warms up, you undress yourself and slowly stand under the water. You wash yourself and when you are done you keep standing under the water, letting the hot steamy droplets run down your body when you suddenly feel two strong arms slip around your waist, pulling you tight against a solid chest and you smile. 

However, before you can do anything his lips attack your neck while he pushes his erection against your back. His fingers grip your hips before they slide up and forward and he cups your breatst tightly, so tightly you frown, and try to look at him over your shoulder but you fail. He's so high on adrenaline from the jog he bends you over while he grabs your hips and slowly places himself at your entrance, making your breath hitch in your throat when he pushes himself slowly inside your wet cunt. He tightens his grip on your hips with one hand and the other he places against the tiles to steady himself before he starts to fuck you hard. You almost bent double from the force of his thrusts, hands on you lower legs, you feel his balls slapping against your wet skin and it stings a bit, it makes you look back and you see his cock move in and out of you, making you moan. The hand on your hips leaves his place and slides up to grab your shoulder, he starts to move faster and faster, ramming himself into your wet and wanton vagina, groans of pleasure escaping his throat. One last thrust and his body ruptures and you feel every muscle of your body spasm, and slowly let go. Without waiting for you or himself to come down from the high, he spins you around and crushes you to his chest. Sprinkling kisses all over your face and neck before taking your face between his hands and looking at you.

"Do you know how much I love you?" he whispers.

And you melt into him, wanting to tell him the same but your orgasme is still rocking your body and you can't, instead you crawl closer into his embrace, making him feel your meaning.

When later that day you are sitting on the sofa a stifled moan leaves your lips and Tom, who is reading the script of the night manager, looks at you. Your eyes are closed and your hands are on your belly, you only notice that Tom looks at you when he caresses your cheek and you look at him.

"Cramps?" he questions.

"Yes, they come and go in recent weeks, sometimes I'm bleeding too, just a little though."

Tom sits up and beckons with his fingers to you.

"Come here, put your head on my legs."

You careful let yourself fall on your side, cheek on his legs and you feel his fingers weaving through your hair as he intertwines the fingers of his other hand with yours on your stomach.

"Is this normal? Those cramps and the bloodloss?"

"Yeah, it can go on for several weeks even, it's different for everyone. I'm really sorry, Tom."

"For what?"

"For losing our child."

"With you and Lucy I have everything I want."

"Liar." you huff.

Tom chuckles above you and you turn your head to look at him, and before you know it your crying again.

"Oh darling." Tom says

He leans towards you to give you a quick kiss befor he lifts you up and hugs you close to him, rocking you slowly in his arms. You sigh before you bury your face in his neck and close your eyes, letting yourself be comforted by his hands that wander over your back and the soothing sound of his voice. 

When you open them again you notice that you're in your shorts and top, and that you are alone in bed. Slowly you sit up and you put on your gown before you descend the stairs and walk into the living room. Tom sits on the sofa again deep in the script of the night manager and you smile. Suddenly you get an idea and you sneak behind the sofa and pinch him in his side. Tom jumps up, startled and a yelp escapes his lips before he turns, his hand on his heart and sees you shrieking with laughter.

"Oh, you find that funny?"

"Sorry, I could not resist."

"I will teach you to scare me."

Suddenly he runs around the couch with long steps and you start walking backwards away from him.

"Come here, you evil woman."

"Uh-huh, catch me."

You run around the couch, into the hallway through the adjoining room and again through the hallway to the sofa when suddenly an arm slips around your waist and lifts you effortlessly and you scream and kick with your legs. In one movement Tom sets you on the ground, turns you around, pushes you against the wall and grabs your hands to place them above your head. He brings his face close to yours, you both breathe heavily.

"So, now that you have caught me, what you gonna do with me, Mr. Pine." you say and you lick your lips.

Suddenly Tom surges forward and kisses you passionately on your lips, you moan and kiss him back fiercely, his hands let yours go and they immediately slide into his hair, his find your hips and he presses his fingertips into your flesh. Panting, you break the kiss and he lays his forehead against yours.

"Hmm, I hate to have to leave it at this but, Mom has invited us for dinner, Emma and Dean are coming too."

"Lucy and Oakley," you say, and a smile forms around Tom's lips.

"Yes, get dressed, then we'll pick up our daughter."

One last kiss before you walk away but when your at the stairs Tom calls your name and you turn around to look at him.

"Don't think you'r off the hook, young lady."

"Of course not, Mr. Pine."

You wink before you walk up the stairs and into the bedroom to get dressed.


	101. chapter 97

After you dress yourself and you are in the car, Tom starts and drives way, you look out through the window. However, your attention is drawn when Tom takes your hand.

"When do you want to tell them?" Tom asks softly.

"Maybe after dinner, I don't want to put a damper on the evening."

"Okay."

Tom brings your hand to his lips and plants a kiss on it before he places them together on your leg but eventually he has to let go to switch gears. When you reach the path to Diana's house, the door is swung open and Jason runs outside.

"Uncle Thomas!" he shouts.

You hear Tom laugh besides you and his fingers that slip from yours while he goes through his knees to catch his nephew. Jason puts his arms around his neck and slowly Tom gets up and puts him on his hip.

"Gee, what does my sister feed you? Pretty soon you will be too heavy to lift."

Tom tickles him in his stomach and laughing Jason tries to push away his hands. Together you walk to the door where you are greeted by Diana who holds Lucy and as soon as your daughter sees you and Tom she starts to coo and stretches out her arms to you. You smile as you take her and when her arms slide around your neck and you press the tiny body of your docher against you, you start to cry.

"I've missed you so much, darling."

"Come on in."

Diana steps aside and you walk into the living room where Oakley immediately runs towards you, barking and wagging his tail, Emma Dean and James also come to you to greet you and when Emma looks at you, she frowns her eyebrows.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

"Why should anything be wrong?" your answer.

"Because the tension radiates from you." she says.

You hug your daughter close to you and you feel tears in your eyes again, you love to hold Lucy again but she also reminds you of the baby you lost.

"This was not how I wanted to do this."

"Do what?"

You sigh and kiss Lucy's forehead before you look at Tom and he understands your intention.

"Dean, why don't we go outside with the boys?"

"Oh okay." Dean says hesitantly.

"Thank you." you say.

Tom nods and kisses your forehead before he walks out with Dean and the boys and you look at them until they sit in the sandbox. You turn yourself around and see three pairs of curious eyes on you.

"Does this have anything to do with your doctor's appointment?" Diana asks.

You nod and you sit on the couch, Lucy still close to you, the others also sit and wait patiently until you're ready. You tell them everything, from the cramps and blood loss on your holiday, your appointment with the doctor and that he not only told you that you had a miscarriage but also that you can't have any children anymore. While you tell your story you look down and when your done it's quite and slowly you look up at them.

"I am so sorry." Emma says.

"Yeah, me too, I especially find it so bad for Tom, he really wanted a large family, it was so hard to tell him that I can not give him that."

"That's why Lucas had to comfort you," Diana says,"on the bench in the park."

"Yes, Tom was in Los Angeles in lockdown, I tried to call him but like I said I could not reach him and Lucas was suddenly there and he just knows me so well because of everything we've been through. I just....I couldn't lie to him and I needed someone to comfort me, to take away my pain and he did. But unfortunitly someone felt the need to take pictures of that moment when he comforted me and send them to a magazine that probably needed some gossip to boost the sale, not caring who got hurt in the process."

"Did you find out who did that?"

"His assistant, who was in love with him and wanted him for her alone, she hoped to force a break by those pictures and she almost succeded too."

"Nonsense, Tom adores you, he would have come to his senses sooner or later,"Emma says,"some people I will never understand, though." 

"Tom is hot at the moment, just about the most wanted man of England not only for movie roles."

You smile and look outside, Dean sits with Levi on his lap while Tom and Jason are building in the sand. You look up when you suddenly feel some one taking your hand and see Diana sitting on her heels before you.

"I'm really sorry."

"Yeah, me too."

"Why do not you spend some time with Lucy, then Emma and I will set the table."

"Okay."

Emma and Diana walk into the kitchen while James goes outside and when Lucy starts to wobble in your lap you lay her on her back on your legs and tickle her tummy. Lucy starts to giggle and grabs at your fingers to stop you. When Tom walks inside he sits down next to you, arm around your back and the fingers of his other hand take his daughters. 

"You okay?" he asks.

"Yes."

"I told Dean what happened, he says he's sorry."

"Are you coming?" you hear Emma ask.

You and Tom get up and you place Lucy on her back in the box and pull the cord under the mobile, so it starts to rotate and Lucy follows the figures with her eyes and sometimes she points to it. Then Tom takes your hand and you follow him to the kitchen and you smile when you see the lavishly set table.

"Diana, this is a kings meal."

"Nothing is too good for my family."

You give her a kiss and sit down, Tom takes place next to you and you talk about your weeks in Ponza while you eat. How beautiful it was and how wonderful it has been, the battery is fully charged again and Tom has recovered completely from his time in the hospital.

"What do the coming weeks look like?" James asks.

"Erm, well," Tom begins,"I still have about five weeks here, the last three I do have to shoot in London for a series, then we move to Switzerland for a week, then five weeks Devon, four weeks Marrakesh the last three weeks will be in Majorca."

"Jesus, I have chosen the wrong profession." Dean sighs.

Everyone laughs at the comment and looks at him.

"Are you going to visit him?"

"I don't know, it also depends on Lucy, but Marrakesh sounds very....tempting."

"Which is at most just three hours off flying."Tom says.

"I'll think about it." you promise.

The rest of the meal you talk and laught and suddenly you realize how lucky you are, not just with Tom and Lucy, but also with the rest of his family. Right from the beginning they have embraced and welcomed you in their midst with a warm feeling. Even when you and Tom were not together you always felt like a part of their family.

At the end of the evening and when you home again you lay Lucy in he cradle and you change clothes but before you get the chance to crawl into bed you suddenly feel an intense pain in your stomach and you almost double from the pain. You fist the bedsheet in your fingers and your other hand goes to your stomach while you gasp for breath. Tom is next to you in an instant, placing one arm around your back and with the fingers of the other hand he slowly loosens your fingers which are clamping the sheet.

"Son of a....." you curse.

"Breathe, just breathe." Tom whispers in your ear while he gathers you close to him.

You try to breathe as calmly as possible while concentrating on Tom's voice and you bury your face in his chest, making soft whining noises and you squeeze your eyes closed.

"Sshh, it's okay, I'm here, I've got you, breath with me, darling."

Tom starts rocking with you in his arms and when the pain has faded away you breath out deeply. Tom leans back and looks at you.

"Is it over?" he asks.

"Yeah."

"Come on, let's get you into bed."

He lays the sheet back and helps you in bed, you lie down on your side with your legs pulled up and your hand on your stomach. Tom is squatting next to the bed and pushes a stray lock of hair behind your ear.

"Thank you." you say softly.

"Of course."

He stands up, walks around the bed and lies down next to you but before he gets the chance to move closer, you turn yourself, curling yourself around him, your arm over his waist and your head on his chest. You can almost feel the smile on his lips when he kisses your head while the fingers of his hand move over your bare back light as a feather. The fingers of his other hand carress up and down your arm, you let yourself immerse in his smell, his breathing, his heartbeat, the safety you feel every time your in his arms and soon you fall into deep sleep.

The next day you and Tom decide to go to the Diana memorial playground and while you gather the things you need for Lucy, Tom places the stroller in the trunk. After everything is ready you drive away and after a fifteen minute drive Tom parks the car, you get out and while you unbuckle Lucy from her seat, Tom takes the stroller out of the trunk and puts it together. Then he leashes Oakley and you place Lucy in the stroller. Tom holds the line with Oakley and you push the stroller forward.

At the entrance to the park it is quite busy and on the way you have already seen a number of times that people look at you, normally you're okay with it, you're used to it by now, but this time you do not miss it that some whisper to each other and point at you and occasionally you even see a disapproving gesture. Tom himself seems to be not aware of anything and you do not want to tell him either, you just want to enjoy this day, of you being together as a family. 

Before you walk into the park you stop and walk around the stroller to get Lucy out and place her on your hip so she can look around. Lucy turnes her head in all directions to see all the flowers and fountains and sometimes she points at something. Tom wraps Oakley's leash around the stroller so that he can push that and his free arm he places around your waist. For a moment, he pulls you towards him to kiss you and your daughter.

When you arrive at a large stump of a 900-year-old oak tree you walk towards it to stand in front of the gauze that is placed around it. A metal plaque hangs up and you bend forward to read it;

"For centuries now this oak has been the home of fairies, gnomes, elves, imps, and pixies. In the nooks and crannies they lurk, or peer out of holes and crevices, their natural windows and doorways. It is their hiding-place by day, their revelry place by night, and when the great moon tops the bare branchless tree the Elfin Clans come out to play and frolic in the moonlight."

You sit on your haunches and point to the colorful figures that are everywhere gouged in the blunt and that stand out with bright colors.

"You see that, Lucy?"

Lucy follows your finger and begins to coo when she see the bright colors, Tom sits down on his knees next to you to reads a second metal plate;

"The oak was moved to Kensington Gardens in 1928 as part of George Lansbury's scheme of public improvements in London. Over the next two years the illustrator Ivor Innes carved the figures of the "Little People" into it. These included Wookey the witch, with her three jars of health, wealth and happiness, Huckleberry the gnome, carrying a bag of berries up the Gnomes' Stairway to the banquet within Bark Hall, and Grumples and Groodles the Elves being awakened by Brownie, Dinkie, Rumplelocks and Hereandthere stealing eggs from the crows' nest."

You shift a little and place Lucy on your knee, the little girl grabs the gauze with the fingers of one hand and with the other she points to the colorful figures while she keeps making soft noises.

"I think she likes them." you say.

"Yeah, maybe we should see if she wants one, take her to the shop later."

"Good idea."

You stand up and place Lucy on your hip again, while walking Tom takes your hand and he laces your fingers together.

"I see it too." he says suddenly.

"What?"

"The looks, the gestures."

"Really?"

"Hmm, I'm an actor, I get paid to pay attention to the smallest details."

"They are probably wondering why you're still with me."

"Because I love you."

"I do not think your fans would agree."

"I do not care what they think, all that matters to me is that you and I know the truth behind the pictures, don't let it get to you, darling."

You smile and look at him and before you can do anything he leans forward to kiss you. After the kiss you look at him and you cup his cheek, he immediately covers your hand with his and he smiles too.

"Come on, let's go."

Together you walk further, at the end of the morning you come to a huge pirate ship where children are playing on. Lucy follows everything with the greatest interest and you and Tom find a table to sit down. Soon there is a staff member next to you with an elevated chair for Lucy and you thank her before you place Lucy into it and you turn the chair so she can watch the children playing. 

After you and Tom ordered lunch you give him the opportunity to give his daughter the bottle while you go to the bathroom and when you are washing your hands you see a girl standing behind you in the mirror, a teenager, who looks at you with a penetrating gaze, making you slightly nervous.

"Can I help you?" you ask.

"Slut."

"Excuse me?" You answer astonished before you close the tap and get some wipes to dry your hands.

"Whore."

The teenager takes a few steps in your direction and you instinctively put a few back until you feel the sink in your back.

"I really do not understand why he has forgiven you for what you did to him. You do not deserve him, he's too good for you" she says, and suddenly you see that she holds a pocketknife,"the pictures were a slap in the face of his fans, you were so cute, so beautiful together, you gave him a beautiful daughter, and when he's gone, working hard you entertain yourself with another guy. The same one with who you cheated on him last year."

"What?"

"When he was filming in Toronto and you went shopping around with that dude for baby clothes and furniture."

"Now wait a minute...."

"No," she says, and suddenly she is standing before you with the knife at your throat, "but since Tom seems to have forgiven you, we'll let it pass, but if you ever cheat on him again with that guy or any one else..."

Then the door suddenly swings open and you look sideways, you recognize the woman as the staff member who came to bring you the high chair, and when she sees you her eyes widen.

"What is going on in here?" she asks.

The teenager takes a step backwards and hides her pocketknife.

"Nothing, I was just leaving." she says.

The staff member steps aside to let her pass and then she looks at you.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes fine."

"Uh, Mr. Hiddleston asked me to see if everything was okay, it took quite long, sorry..."

"Never mind, I uh .... I'll be right there."

"Okay."

When the staff member is gone, you take the sink with your hands and take a deep breath before you walk out the bathroom and to the terrace where Tom just places his daughter in her high chair.

"Hey," he says when you sit down, "I'm sorry I sent someone to go check on you but you stayed away so long, I was afraid you had cramps again."

"No," you say and look at him, "no cramps but that's sweet of you."

Tom smiles but when his eyes lower the smile disappears and he leans towards you.

"Are you bleeding?"

"What?"

"In your throat."

Your hand goes to it and when you look at your fingertip you indeed see a drop of blood.

"What happened?"

You sigh, grabbing a napkin to wipe it away.

"I encountered a fan of you in the bathroom."

"And she did this?"

"Yes, for those photos of Lucas and me, she made me understand how the fans think about it."

"I'm sorry."

"This is not your fault."

"That may be, but I hate that someone who claims to be my fan, threatened you, this is not the first time, they should leave you alone. Maybe I should issue a press release to explain the pictures were altered."

"No," you say and take his hands,"as you said, we know the truth, we shouldn't need to justify ourselves towards your fans."

"Okay. Do you see her?"

"What?"

"Do you see her anywhere?"

"Why?"

"Because she threatened you, she put a knife to your throat."

"I know, but I'm fine, just forget it, let's just enjoy the rest of our day."

"You do realize that now I will worry about you when I'm not with you."

"I know, but I have Oakley." you say and when the dog hears his name he looks up and barks.

"Yeah, who hides under bed when there is a thunderstorm." Tom mutters.

You laugh and take his hands in your to bring them to your lips.

"You remember what you said about Lisa? That she is an exception on the rule, so is this girl. Forget her, focus on me and Lucy." you say.

You kiss his hands a couple of times and smile, when you hear Lucy cooing you look at her, seeing her arms being stretched out to you and a smile around her thin lips.

"Oh you want kisses too?" you ask.

Lucy excitedly begins to wobble in her chair and you come up to get her out, you cuddle her extensively and give her kisses in her neck, making her coo of pleasure.

After you and Tom have eaten lunch, the staff member walks up and gives the bill before she bends over.

"I saw this lying and I thought your daughter might like it." she says.

"Oh I'm sure she will." you say and gestures that she can give it.

She bends over to Lucy and your daughter looks at her quizzically but when she sees the bright yellow colored figure she stretches out her hands to it.

"You know who this is? Dit is Wookey the witch, with her three jars of health, wealth and happiness, something I hope you will always have in abundance, sweet darling little girl."

Lucy immediately starts playing with Wookey and she brings it to her mouth but fortunately it is too large to put it in her mouth. Then the employee turns herself to you.

"Could I maybe have an autograph and a picture?" she asks.

Tom smiles and puts a signature in the notebook she carries.

"Shall I take the picture?" your suggest.

"Oh, wel excually, I want you in it too."

"Oh, okay."

The employee gives her phone to Tom so he can take a picture after the staff member has gone through her knees between you. When the picture is taken you say goodbye and continue on your way.

As you walk the sun starts to shine brighter, you finally decide to buy a cap somewhere for Lucy to protect her eyes from the bright sunlight.

When you walk along a large pond you sit on a bench and you take Lucy on your lap, she follows the other children who feed the ducks with interest. You look around the park and because of the unexpected good weather, it is busy and everywhere people are walking, playing and laughing.

"It's a beautiful park." you say.

"It's named after Princess Diana after her death, because she always was known to love children and always did everything for them. To the east lies Kensington Gardens, the gardens of the estate where she has always lived."

"It does her justice, we have to come here more often."

"Sounds like a good idea, Mom took Sarah, Emma and me here often too."

You have a delightful afternoon together with Tom and Lucy and the incident in the bathroom is soon forgotten. At the end of the day and after you have eaten something somewhere you notice that when you get up to leave, Lucy fell asleep in her stroller. You smile and walk with Tom to the exit and when you come outside the sun is gone and it is suddenly shilly. You shiver involuntarily and pull a coat on before you lay a blanket over Lucy to prevent her from catching a cold.

When you come home, Tom let's Oakley play in the backyard, and he entertains himself with his daughter while you make dinner. After eating and when Lucy is bathed and later that night brought to her cradle Tom sings her to sleep before you walk into the living room and Tom takes you in his arms.

"I'm gonna take Oakley out for a jog, okay?"

"Okay."


	102. chapter 98

When they are gone you sit on the couch and zap between channels when you suddenly hear Lucy crying after an hour. You turn off the tv and listen to her before you walk upstairs into her room and she looks at you. She stretches her arms to you and you walk up to her to pick her up and sit in the rocking chair. When you start rocking Lucy's crying turns into sobs while she reaches her arm to you, you take it between thumb and forefinger and bring it to your mouth to kiss it and blow against it in an attempt to stop the crying but it doesn't work.

"It's okay sweetie, I'm here, mummy's right here with you."

Even though you keep talking to her softly she keeps sobbing quitly.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Tom asks suddenly.

You look up, seeing Tom standing in the doorway, a light sheen of sweat on his face and he kneels down beside you, he cups the back of her head, making her look at him with teary eyes and he smiles. When he begins to sing softly she sobs a few times before she stops while looking at her father with her big blue eyes. You smile, amazed by the fact that when Tom sings for her it always calm her down and you see how she reaches out a hand to him. Tom continues singing for her while he takes her hand until she's fallen asleep again and gently you lay her back in bed. 

Then you take Tom's hand and take him to the bedroom where you find yourself turning to him, you cup his cheek with one hand and pull him down to kiss him. The kiss is gentle and loving, the sheen of sweat has dried but he still feels a little warm, and suddenly you get an idea. You look at him and smile, your hands begin to slowly strip him of his clothes and when he is naked in front of you, you lead him to your bed. Wordless he sits down when you sit down on your knees in the middle of the bed he follows your example.

"You trust me?"

"Of course I do."

You smile and open the cupboard next to the bed in order to get a ribbon.

"Are you going to tie me up?"

"No, I'm going to blindfold you."

"What?"

Before Tom has a chance the blindfold is around his face and he sees nothing more, you push against his chest so he lies down. You lean over to kiss his chest, slowly your lips work a way up and you feel his hands on your hips. When you come to his ear you gently bite and you smile when he moans softly.

"Stay here, I'll be back."

After getting an ice cube out of the freezer, you walk back into the bedroom where Tom is exactly as you left him; naked, blindfolded, and his head comes up when he hears the door open and close.

"Y/N?"

"I'm here." you say.

You strip yourself off your clothes and the rustling makes Tom bite his lip. You walk over to the bed and crawl onto it on your knees, Tom's face turns to the side where the bed dips and his breathing is a little bit hurried.

"What are you up to?"

You smile and you sit astride his chest, Tom's hands immediately rest on your thighs.

"Ah, do not touch."

"Y/N..."

"No, don't Tom, off with the hands, otherwise I'll tie you to the bed."

Tom sighs but places his hands right beside him on the bed, you put a hand near his head and give him a kiss, when you break the kiss Tom chases your lips but your hand pushes him back onto the bed. You put your hand beside his head again and let the ice cube slowly make contact with Tom's skin and the reaction is incredible; Tom's sucks in a breath and on his entire body goosebumps arise.

"Fuck, that's cold."

"Well it's an ice cube, which is the intention."

"You could have warned me."

"I could have, yes, but this is so much more fun." you say and laugh.

You let the ice cube slip over his nipple which is hard at once and slowly slide it to his other nipple. You slide a little backwards and smile when you notice that his cock is hard and you feel Tom rocking his hips up seeking friction but when you slip over it and settle on his upperthighs he whines. That whine however turns into a low moan when the ice cube slides over his stomach and abdomen, you see his muscles tense and hear his breathing hitch. 

"Does this turn you on?" you ask.

"Maybe."

"Oh I think it does."

You let the ice cube slowly slide down his shaft but the reaction you get when you let it very lightly graze over his top is amazing. His hips buck up off the bed, he moans low in his throat, fingers fisting the sheet and you see his dick twitch and Tom's breathing becomes faster. When you look up, you see that he licks his lips and slowly you slide back up until you sit astride his chest again and lean forward. 

"That was so hot to watch." you whisper in his ear.

Tom laughs and you kiss his neck just before the ice slips over it and Tom tilts his head back. The ice cube slides further up and you let it slip over his lips and Tom's tongue comes out to lick it.

"You know I just realize something."

"What?"

"How it would feel if you were licking me with a cold tongue."

"Only one way to find out."

"Yeah, I guess, but ..."

"No, no buts, come here."

Tom lays his hands on your buttocks and tries to push you up.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, get up here."

You let the ice slip over his lips one more time and suddenly he sucks it inside.

"Tom..."

"Move. Up. Here."

You shake your head and you take the edge of the headboard before you move up on your knees, Tom lets his arms go on under your legs and cups your buttocks, he pushes you forward and when his cold tongue slips through your folds and makes contact with your cit your eyes turn in your sockets with pleasure.

"Oh my god, Tom ... feels so ..."

"Good?"

"Yeah fuck."

Tom releases your clit and drags his tongue a couple of times through your folds and when the cold disappears he detaches his tongue from you and it's replaced with the ice cube.

"Take the blindfold off, I need my eyes."

Without hesitation you jerk off his blindfold, your eyes meet and you see a smile around the ice cube before his eyes go to your slit and his head slowly comes up. He lets the ice cube slide up and down through your slit several times and every time your hips buck forward. With a touch of the cold block against your overheated clit an orgasm rolls through your body, your fingers curl around the edge of the headboard and you arch your back. During your orgasm you feel how Tom slowly keeps licking you with his tongue and the fingers of one of your hands slide into his hair. When your body stops jerking and he slowly places you on his chest you open your eyes and look at him.

"You okay?" he ask.

"Yes, but this was actually meant for you."

"That's okay, watching you on your highest moment of pleasure is a true delight for my eyes, darling. Come here."

Tom opens his arms for you and you lie beside him and feel how his loving arms slide around your body and he pulls you close to him. 

 

The next morning you wake in in two strong arms, remembering what happened last night and that he suddenly turned the tables on you get an idea. Carefully you squirm out of his arms, making him sigh and lie on his back, making this easier for you. You duck under the sheets and sit between his legs, his erection evident and you curl your fingers around it to guide it straight into your mouth. Tom's hips buck up and his breathing hitches in his throat. You immediately suck hard and your tongue focuses on his head, the fingers of your other hand start playing with his balls, moving with feather-light touches. Your movements are getting faster and the suction gets harder, then your fingers slide down and pushe the place just behind his balls, Tom moans deep in his throat and he feels that he is close.

"So close..."

You tast the bitter drop of pre-cum in your mouth and you suck harder and suddenly he shoots his load into your mouth, you swallow everything and when he is empty you suck on last time before you sit up and look at him, the sight is mesmerizing, he is breathtaking like this, squirming on the sheet from the afterglow, eyes closed, mouth open, chest heaving, hands gripping the sheets and his hard erection lies on his stomach.

"You are amazing." he breaths.

You smile and crawl up his body, curling yourself around him but it's short lived when you hear Lucy crying. 

"She needs to be fed." you say.

"Why don't you do that and I'll take Oakley out."

"Okay,"you say and both step out of bed to get dressed,"oh and Megan will be here around noon for her photoshoot."

"Right."

Together you get your daughter out of bed and you walk downstairs, while Tom takes out Oakley you feed Lucy and start on breakfast and when Tom comes back you lay her in the box while you eat. 

When around twelve o'clock the bell rings you suddenly become nervous, Tom notices it and gives you a kiss before he opens.

"Megan." he says.

"Hi Tom."

Tom steps aside to let Megan Matt and Tony inside, and when she sees you she smiles. You play with your fingers nervously and looks at Matt and Tony.

"Matt, Tony, why don't you get everything ready inside?" Megan sugests.

"Of course."

"I'll help you." Tom says.

When the men are gone Megan walks towards you.

"Lucas told me you were afraid that I was mad at you." she says.

"Yeah, well, the pictures ..."

"I work at a magazine and know how to tell apart real and fake pictures."

"So you knew they were fake?"

"From the moment I saw them, yeah."

"And what about all the time he spend with me? All those hours I kept him away from you."

"I know how much you mean to him, how much you have been through. The reason I love Lucas so much is among others his compassion for his loved ones."

"So your not mad at me?"

"I've never been mad at you."

"Thank you."

"Come here."

Megan gives you a hug and you sigh relieved, happy that all is well between you. After the hug she looks at you.

"I am truly very sorry, y/n, about what the doctor told you. How did Tom take the news?"

"He was disappointed of course, he always wanted a large family but we'll just have to except that Lucy will stay our only child."

"Good thing she's perfect then, right?"

"Right." you say and smile.

"Well, let's get some pic's of that beautiful little girl of yours."

Matt and Tony have put everything ready and have already started taking photos of Tom and Lucy together and when Lucy sees you she stretches her arms to you and you sit next to her. You take her on your lap and Tom moves towards you, gives you a kiss on the cheek while Lucy smiles at you. There are lots of pictures of you Tom and Lucy but also pics of just Lucy, and some of you and Lucy together. Halfway through the afternoon, Lucas suddenly stands at the door and when you see him later with Megan you understand immediately that you fear that she would be mad at you was completely unfounded, she was right, the way Lucas looks at her, handles her says it all. In the end there a few pictures made of Lucy and Oakley together and while Matt and Tony clean up everything and Lucas has Lucy on his hip, looking with her to a playing Oakley outside, Megan walks towards you and Tom.

"Matt and Tony are almost finished cleaning up so Lucas and I are ready for our evening with Lucy."

You frown your eyebrows and look at Tom.

"You need to tell me something?" you ask.

"Yes, although I love to spend time with both my girls, I would also like to spend some time alone with my wife before I have to go away again so I asked Megan and Lucas to watch Lucy."

"Oh that's sweet of you."

"There's a new dress for you on the bed."

"A new dress? When did you buy that?"

"Some time ago, I asked Lucas if he could bring it so that you would not notice it."

"You keeping secrets from me?" you ask, feighing hurt.

"You kept them from me too, even on our weddingday."

"But you loved that."

"Yes I did, now go get changed so I can take my wife out."

You give Tom a kiss before you turn around and walk up the stairs and when you walk into your bedroom you see the box lying on the bed. When you lift the lid you smile, you take the shoulders and lift it out of the box. It's a soft purple dress that flares out at the waist and falls to above your knees. When you walk down the stairs fifteen minutes later Tom and Lucas are talking by the window and Megan is playing with Lucy on the couch.

"You look stunning." Tom suddenly says.

You smile and twirl around, making the dress flare out around you, you say goodbye to Lucas Megan and Lucy you get in the car and Tom drives away.

"So, where are we going?"

"Well, I was thinking first dinner and then a movie."

"Sound great." 

Tom steers his car through the narrow streets of London and eventually he parks it somewhere under a bridge. You look at him but Tom just smiles before he get's out and reaches you his hand to help you. He intertwines your fingers together and takes you to the half-lit street. When he suddenly walks into a portico where pink lights with the words' adult videos' 'peep show'and 'private dance' are on you suddenly stand still.

"Tom..."

"Trust me."

"Okay." you say hesitantly.

Slowly you let yourself be led inside, into a dark corridor lit with pink lights where coat racks are standing and you hang your coat up, then you follow pink illuminated arrows, descend a staircase and when you are halfway hear people talking. At the end of the staircase you look around you with amazement and you smile.

"See?" Tom say and kisses your cheek.

It's different than you're used to, it's a cross between a dungeon and a wine cellar and you love it.

"Can I help you?"

"Table for two please."

"Of course, if you want to follow me?"

Tom takes your hand and together you walk behind the waitress, she gives you a table by the wall and you sit down.

"Do you want something to drink?" the waitress ask.

You order drinks and then you get the menu to choose from the wide range of food that is on there.

"I think I'm gonna go for taco's." you say.

"Really?"

"Yeah, they don't have that in fancy restaurants and I always loved them. What about you?"

"Something from the grill, maybe spareribs."

"You going to eat them with your fingers?" you ask, leaning forward.

"Yes,"Tom says, looking at you over the menu,"you know how much I love using my fingers."

"Oh I do."

Suddenly you start to giggle.

"What?"

"Nothing, it's just...this is so different, so not what we are used too but I love it. How did you find this place?"

"This restaurant has been here for years, I had heard of it from friends but never been here and I wanted to try it and I'm glad you like it."

"If the food is good we should come here more often."

"That sounds like a great idea."

After about fifteen minutes the waitress takes your order and half an hour later all sorts of sauces and napkins are put on the table. Tom's ribs are served on a silver oval dish and your tacos in a wooden strain with flat underside of about half a meter with every five centimeters a notch where they sit in. The food is delicious and the waitress comes regularly to ask if everything is to your satisfaction and if you need anything. Halfway through dinner you suddenly stop eating and look at Tom, who then looks at you again.

"What?"

"Nothing, just, I don't think I have ever seen you eating with your fingers."

"You haven't?"

"No." you laugh.

"Hmm, these ribs are truly the best I've ever eaten. How are your tacos?"

"Delicious, though I don't think I can eat them all so if you want one."

"Sure."

When you've eaten enough you place your elbows on the table and look at how Tom eats the last remnants of his ribs and when he's finished you suddenly get up and move into the bench next to him. He looks at you in surprise and while you keep eyecontact you take his hand and slowly bring his fingers to your mouth to lick them one by one. You take the time, you let them slide in slowly while your tongue turns around them. When you've licked the last one clean Tom's breathing heavily and his eyes sparkle with lust and desire. You smile and push him away but suddenly his fingers move in your hair and he pulls you towards him to kiss you deeply. You quickly give up and you press yourself against him, moaning you put a leg over his and the kiss quickly become passionate. After the kiss you look at each other.

"Pay the bill and take me out of here."

Tom immediately pushes you off his lap, puts some money on the table and takes you to the exit. It's cold outside and you pull your coat close around you while you walk to the car and when you sit in the car five minutes later you immediately slide towards him in the car, lips attached his neck and your hand loosens his buttons, let your fingers slide across his muscular chest.

"You know, if you do not stop this, we won't make it home, and what will Megan and Lucas think when they see us."

"Park the car."

"Right."

Tom has quickly found a place and when he kills the engine he turns straight to you, arm slipping around your waist and fingers tangled in your hair. The kiss is fierce and intense and takes your breath away, your fingers massage his cock and Tom rolls his hips into your touch. The arm around you disappears and you gasp when his chair suddenly moves backwards to give your more space.

"Come here."

You crawl astride his lap, in a normal car it would have been uncomfortable but the Jaguar seems to have just that little bit of extra space you need.

"Push my seat back."

You obey him and suddenly you fall back, you look at each other laughing. Tom's fingers slip under your dress and you roll your hips over his erection, making him moan. You sit upright to loosen his belt and trousers to push it down.

"I feel like a teenager who is secretly fooling around with his girlfriend in his fathers car, about to get caught anytime."

You look at him smiling through your eyelashes on before you again concentrate on his trousers and boxer shorts that you simultaneously slide downwards. When they are out off the way you slide forward and Tom hoists the bottom of your dress up and around your waits before his finger slides over your folds. You moan and lay your head in your neck while Tom slowly pushes your slip sideways and puts his erection against you folds to let him slowly slip inside. When he completely fills you, you arch your back and make a rolling motion while Tom pushes his hips upward.

"Feels so good, lean back. "he says.

You lean back against the steering wheel but a little too far and the horn sounds.

"Oh shit." you say.

You place your hands behind you and accidentally grab the windshield wipers who squeaking move across the dry windshield.

"Damn."

"Hey, it's okay, come here."

You smile and lean forward, seeking support with your hand on the door and when you accidentally push the button for the window, it slides down and you feel a gust of wind.

"Oh this is exactly how I remember sex in the car." You sigh.

"Oh, you had sex in a car before?"

"Yes, an eternity ago."

"Just do not touch anything, except me."

"Hmm, I can do that."

You smile and lean forward to kiss Tom, his fingers slide up over your skin and rest on your hips, he takes them and while you make circular motions he pushes his hips up. Slowly you feel the familiar tingling feeling in your stomach and when you put your hands on his chest and come up a climax rolls through your body, Tom follows soon and when your breathing is normal again you look at him. You lean forward to kiss him a few times and his fingers slip into your hair.

"I love you." he says.

"I love you too."


	103. chapter 99

When you have lain in each other's arms some time you back starts to protest to the position in which you lie and you slowly get upright. You sigh deeply and feel how Tom also sits up and presses a kiss on the cheek.

"Not that I have not enjoyed it but maybe we should stick to the bed for sex."

"Or the wall, or the couch, the breakfast table, the kitchen counter ...." Tom says while kissing your neck.

"Whatever, no car," you laugh and push him away.

Suddenly you turn your face towards him and look at him.

"Take me to the Tower Bridge."

"What?"

"Take me to the Tower Bridge, the view was gorgeous, I want to see it again, please."

"Sure, I'll take you everywhere that you want."

Once you have redressed yourself Tom drives away and about fifteen minutes later he parks the car at the Tower Bridge. Tom pays the tickets and together you walk up the steps, to finally get to the glass bridge and you look down. You laugh and feel how Tom takes your hand and takes you to the railing, he stands behind you and entwines your fingers before he takes the railing. You look out over the illuminated London and close your eyes before you breathe deeply and open them again.

"Thank you." you suddenly say.

"For what?"

"For giving me everything in life I wanted, letting my dreams come true."

Suddenly you stop and you bite your lip, you feel tears in your eyes and a sob escapes your lips.

"I'm so sorry that I can not let your dreams come true."

"Shh, it's okay, it's all right and you did make my dreams come true."

Tom let's go of your fingers and turns you around to look at you, he frames your face with his hands and his thumbs wipe your tears away before he takes you in his arms. You bury your face in his jacket and you feel how he responds by pulling closer to him.

"Let's just focus on Lucy okay? On raises her and helping her and supporting her in everything she wants."

"Okay." you sob into his chest.

When you are silent, he leans back and looks at you.

"You want to go home?"

"No, let's just stay here a while, enjoy the view."

You turn yourself into his arms and enjoy the view, you feel how Tom puts his arms around your waist and presses you against him. When after some time the wind blows harder and it gets colder you decide to go back home. It's late and when you enter the hall it is quiet, you're surprised that Oakley does not come to greet you, but when you walk into the living room you can see why. Lucas is sleeping on the couch with Oakley at his feet but there is no trace of Megan. You lay your purse on the table and walk upstairs, when you open the door to Lucy's nursery you smile. Megan is sitting in the rocking chair and Lucy is lying on her chest, both are sleeping. You kneel down beside the rocking chair and tickle Lucy on her cheek, she stirs a bit but does not wake up, Megan however does.

"Oh, so sorry, I must have fallen asleep." she says apologetically.

"That's okay, I fall asleep often in the rocking chair with Lucy, the only thing that always get's her to stop crying, and of course when Tom sings to her, his voice has a calming effect on her, just like on her mother."

Megan stands up and lays Lucy in her bed, the girl sighs deeply, but sleeps on and when you lay the Loki-hug next to her she clenches it in her fist.

"How was it?" Megan asks.

"Wonderful, the restaurant was different but nice, it's called La Bodega, you should really go there with Lucas."

"Okay, just write down the address and we will try."

"After that we went to the Tower Bridge, the view is gorgeous at night, have you ever seen it at night?" 

"Long ago." Megan smiles.

Smiling you walk downstairs and you see Tom and Lucas sitting on the couch, they stand up when you come in and soon they take leave of you. You are very tired and while Tom goes for a quick round around the block with Oakley you already go to bed.

 

The next few days are difficult, you get more cramps than you like and sometimes you lose blood, you also have trouble doing things with Lucy because she still reminds you of what you lost. Tom handles it as good as he can, during the times when you have cramps, Tom caress your stomach and holds you and when you think about your miscarriage he takes the responsibilities for Lucy. 

By the end of the week you go into town to buy a dress for Lucy, you decide to buy a lilac dress with crochet bolero for over it, and in the weekend you visit Ben and Sophie. While Ben gives instructions on what he expects from Tom on the wedding day, you disappear upstairs with Sophie to fit your dress. The convesation quickly turns her pregnancy and of course Sophie notices that your face clouds. When you tell her what happened she puts a hand over her mouth and she says how sorry she is, you smile and look at her.

"It's okay, really, it's a shame but we can't change anything about it. I'm glad that it goes well with you, you're absolutly beaming."

"I feel great, just the smell of food I can not bear." she smiles and you nod because you know how it feels.

After you're done with the fitting of the dress and you're back down you spend the rest of the evening catching up and mostly laughing.

 

A week later, and after you have left Oakley with Amelia and Ethan, you drive to the south of England to take the ferry to the island. When you arrive at the cottage that Sophie and Ben has arranged an hour later the memory of your wedding day with Tom comes to mind and you smile while holding Lucy. Tom moves his arms around your waist and you both look at the church where your marriage was blessed.

"Brings back happy memories doesn't it?" he says.

"It certainly does."

"It was the best day of my life, next to the birth of our little angel."

Tom let's you go and gives Lucy a kiss on her head and in response she extends her hand to her father. Tom smiles and takes his daughter over from you while you walk to your cottage. Inside it's pretty much the same as when you where there and you walk to the window to open it so that the fresh air can blow in.

"There is a cradle for Lucy in our room." said Tom.

"Amazing."

"Come on, let's go see if we can find Ben and Sophie."

You take Tom's hand in yours and together you walk towards the cottage of Ben and Sophie when you suddenly hear someone calling your name. When you turn you see the two coming at you. Sophie is wearing a modest dress but Ben is in a suit.

"You are right on time." Sophie says.

"Well, after all that happend we thought it a good idea to arrive a little earlier, there are a lot of great memories here."

"Of course, tonight at six o'clock, the rehearsal dinner is, I assume you remember the way."

"Of course."

After they said goodbye to you, you walk through the garden, hand in hand with Lucy asleep against Tom's chest you stroll about the narrow paths and at the fountain you sit on a bench. For the rehearsal dinner you have bought a simple dress and after you've changed Lucy you redress while Tom dresses in a neat slacks and a white shirt with a jacket over it.

The rehearsal dinner goes smoothly, the father of Ben and Sophie's uncle practice their speeches and though Lucy has behaved nicely during the entire dinner she starts wiggling in her chair towards the end, clearly restless.

"Oh, honey, I know," you say and stand up to get her out of her chair, "you've been so sweet, so good."

You give her a kiss before you turn yourself to Tom, who now also stands.

"I'll give her the bottle in the cottage and put her to bed okay?"

"I'm coming with you."

"No, you stay here."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. If she falls asleep quickly I will return."

You give Tom a kiss and he in turn gives his daughter a kiss goodbye and after you have said goodbye to Ben and Sophie you walk into your cottage and give Lucy the bottle. You change her diaper and put her in her crib. You sit down on the bed and caress Lucy's cheek and she smiles at you around her pacifier, you smile back and lean over to give her a kiss. She soon falls asleep and you let yourself fall back on the bed, only then you notice how tired you are and you move up until you are lying on the pillow with your head and soon you are asleep.

You smile when you feel two lips on yours and you let your hands disappear in his hair. Tom lets his kisses go downwards, your neck, your collarbone, your breasts, but suddenly you push him away.

"What?" he asks.

"Lucy."

Tom looks behind him and cranes his neck to look at his daughter.

"Is sleeping."

"Yeah but she's here."

"She can't even see us."

"But she's here." you insist.

"Right."

Suddenly he stands up and you lean up on your elbows to see how Tom lifts the cradle and walks awkwardly with it to the hall where he put's it down and he closes the door before he looks at you.

"Better?"

"Come here."

He smiles at you and comes back to the bed, he crawls on it again and looks at you.

"Now, where were we."

His fingers search for your zipper on the back and slowly he opens your dress to slide it off your body, leaving you only in your bra and knickers. While his eyes move over your body you bite your lip, you marvels at the fact that while you have been together for more then a year and a half he still looks at you with the same adodartion and love and affection as that first time you made love. You smile and his fingers begin to open the closure of your bra slowly. When he is done he pushes it aside to reveal your breasts. Tom lets his eyes go over them and licks his lips. You can see the hunger in his eyes and feel a little insecure under his intense gaze.

"Tom ..." you whisper.

He looks at you and leans back over you.

"You are so beautiful." He whispers.

He captures your lips in a soft and tender kiss and both your breaths catches in your throat when his bare skin makes contact with your nipples and they harden immediately. His lips plant a soft trail of kisses down your body and he takes your nipple between his teeth to give a gentle tug. Then he lets his tongue soothingly go over it. His hand slides down while his lips give your other breast the same treatment. You slip your fingers in his hair and you fists it tightly as you feel his hand slip in your knickers and he caresses your folds. Moaning you buck your hips up and feel Tom's smile against your skin. When he dips his tongue in your navel you chuckle. He slides a little further down and hooks his fingers in the band of your knickers. You put your feet flat on the matrass and lift your hips while he slides them down your legs. He leans forward and pushes your legs further apart, you allow a shaky breath to escape your lips as you feel his fingers at your folds and his thumb finds your clit easily.

"You're so wet." He growls.

You rise and reach out your hand to his belt and loosen it before you pop the button and pull the zipper down.

"I want you, Tom, please."

Tom shudders at your words and you open his pants and push it together with his boxer down his slim hips and your mouth starts to water when you see how hard he is. You closes your fingers around it and give it a few experimental tugs, Tom moans and lays his forehead against yours.

"Lie back." He gasps.

You let him slip out of your fingers and lays down on your back. Tom lets his thumb brush over your clit one more time and then covers your body with his. He places his hands besides your head and kisses your lovingly. When you feel his arousal brush against your sensitive clit you roll your hips up, trying to find the friction that you so need.

Tom lets his hand disappear between your bodies and takes himself in his hand.

"Wrap your legs around my waist." Tom instructs.

You do what he says and you feel he lines his arousal up against your opening. He rolls his hips slightly forward and you feel the tip disappear inside you.

He rolls his hips again, sliding in further slowly and you close your eyes, Tom searches for your clit and lets his finger rotate around it.

Slowly he pull a little out of you and then rolls forward again, moaning at the feeling of your soft walls around him and he lets his head fall on your chest.

"I love feeling your heat around me, sucking me in."

Tom repeats the movement several times and each time pulls himself a little further out of you and then pushes back in deeper. You begin to move along in the same rhythm and soon you have a pattern, Tom pulling out and rolling forward and you who rolls your hips up each time to meet his thrusts. Tom lets his hand slip under your buttocks and pushes it up with each thrust inward.

"You feel amazing around me." he groans and kisses your jaw.

Tom drags the tip of his erection over something inside you and it feels so good that you moan loudly. Tom grins and tilts his hips slightly to ensure that he scrapes over that bundle with every inward thrust. You close your eyes and allow yourself to be engulfed in the pleasure he gives you. For some time the sound of skin clapping against skin and your moans are the only sounds in the room. When Tom grabs the headboard with his hand so he can push into you harder and faster you lay your arms around his neck and pull him towards your.

"Yes." you moan into his ear.

You feel a warm feeling in your abdomen and you know you are close, you bury your face in his neck and blindly reach out for his hand. Tom takes it and puts them next to your head, lacing your fingers together.

"Are you close?"

"So close, please."

Tom thrust a few times hard and deep inside you, you throw your head back while Tom pushes inside you with long strokes and back out again. He bites your neck harder then he wanted and almost breaks your skin, making you moan, knowing he will leave a mark but you do not care. When he feels how your walls contract around him his thrusts become uncontrolled. One last thrust and Tom also reaches his climax, spilling his seed deep inside you. You keep laying like that before he lies down next to you and you look at him.

"Can you get Lucy back in?"

"Really?" he says.

"No, kidding." you say.

You roll on your side and hug him close to you before you fall asleep.

 

The wedding is beautiful, not as beautiful as yours with Tom of course, but nonetheless beautiful. Sophie has a gorgeous dress and Ben looks very dapper in his suit, the same suit Tom wore on your wedding day. While the pastor is busy with the ceremony your eyes often search the familiar blue eyes of Tom, and you notice that he does the same. You know that he thinks back to the day when you stood there. Then you hear applause, and you see that Ben draws his now wife towards him to kiss her. You also clap and Sophie when you have given back her bouquet walk with the other bridesmaids forward where you meet Tom and you take each other's hand to follow the newlyweds.

You have left Lucy with Ben's parents, who were more then willing to watch the little girl, saying that it was a nice practice for when their grandchikd is born, while you and Tom fulfill your duties as best man and bridesmaid, but when you walk down the aisle and Lucy see you she immediately starts to wobble and coo that she wants to go to you.

"Go get her." Tom say.

You let go of his hand and put the few steps to Ben's mom and take Lucy from her.

"Hi, sweet girl of mine," you say,"thank you so much for watching her."

"It was our pleasure." Ben's mom says.

You kiss her cheek while you walk back to Tom again and he leans over to give her a kiss on her forehead. While Ben Sophie and their family poses for the photo's, Tom along with the other best men and bridesmaids accompanie the guests to Mottistone and you take the back door so that you come into a small room where a play box with some toys is. You place Lucy into it and when she is lying her her eyes droop and she falls asleep. You smile before disappearing through a door and stand in the hall of the Mottistone.

"Ms Hiddleston, how nice to see you again!" you suddenly hear.

You look up and see a familiar face.

"Roscoe." you say.

Smiling you walk up to him and you embrace him, he answers your embrace and looks at you.

"It's been too long since I've seen you, are you okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine."

"You look radiant, and the baby?"

"With the baby too, a girl, Lucy, I just put her in the room behind me in the box, she's asleep."

"Oh, I will personally ensure that no one bothers her."

"Thank you, I appreciate that very much."

Roscoe nods and then continues on his way, when the guests have gathered in the room, Tom comes to you.

"I can not wait to dance with you later." he says.

"Just slow songs."

"Sure," he laughs, "come on, let's go get the bride and groom."

 

The dinner was delicious and the celebration that follows is superb, the band that they have arranged is reasonably unknown but certainly not less good. They play all kinds of music to give everyone the opportunity to dance and so, after you have danced with Ben and Tom with Sophie, you find yourself regularly in the arms of your husband.

"I have not even danced this much with you on our wedding day." he smiles.

You push yourself closer to him and close your eyes, savoring the moment, until you suddenly Roscoe stands next to you.

"I'm terribly sorry but, your daughter, she's crying."

"Oh, of course, thank you." you say and want to walk away but Tom stops you.

"I'll go to her, you dance with y/n."

"Oh, but ..."

"No no buts, I know you want it, but don't try anything, okay." he says.

Tom walks away while you start to dance with Roscoe and after some time you look at him.

"You can really dance well."

"I've had lessons."

"That has paid off."

"Thank you."

After you you have retreated into your cottage that night and Lucy is sleeping in her cradle you walk into the living room. Tom to the small kitchen to get a drink and you to the window, through which you see the beautifully illuminated Mottistone.

"You are so beautiful."

You smile and turn your face to Tom, who also smiles and walks towards you with two glasses of wine. You take it and take a sip and then you look back to the hotel. You feel how Tom places and arm around your waist and kisses your shoulder.

"How do you feel?" he asks.

"Good, I have had no cramps or pain today, I was afraid that, because I have a fairly important role, it would cause stress but I'm fine."

"Good, that's good to hear,"Tom says and takes your hand,"let's get to bed."


	104. chapter 100

You and Tom decide to stay a little longer after Ben and Sophie have left and you use the time to explore the island, something you have not had the time for on your wedding day.

Long walks along the shoreline, bicycle rides over the narrow paths that are all over the island and in the evenings you enjoy the delicious food at the various restaurants.

You also visit Carisbrooke Castle, located just outside Carisbrooke, it is run and maintained by English Heritage. While you walk up to the castle you notice it is surrounded with fields and the castle itself is situated high up on a hill. When you have reached the summit you have a commanding view of Carisbrooke and the adjacent area.

You visit the museum within the Castle and after that you wander through the many gardens.

"You know, King Charles 1 was imprisoned here for the last year of his life and tried unsuccessfully to escape at least twice." Tom says.

"Really?"

"Hmm."

While you walk through the gardens inside the castle you see a few groups sitting, teenagers from around fourteen, fifteen years old, probably on a school trip but luckily they leave you alone. While walking over the castle's outer wall you also come across an English Heritage's flag that flies proud from the castle's keep.

Because it is quite a ride away from Mottistone you decide to book a room in a nearby bed and breakfast for the night so you can cycle back the next day completely rested.

A few days later you are absorbed in a leaflet when Tom sits down next to you and he grabs the leaflet from you to see it better.

"Hey I was reading that."

"St Catherine's Lighthouse is situated in Niton Undercliffe, 5 miles from Ventnor and was built in 1838 following the loss of The Clarendon ship on rocks near to the present location. It has 94 steep steps up to the lantern and the height of the tower now is 27 metres. It was 13 meters higher but due to problems with mist capping the lighthouse it was decided to lower the top tower by 7 meters and the middle tower by 6 meters in 1875."

Tom looks at the rest of the leaflet and the photos of the lighthouse.

"I thought we could have a look, they give tours."

"Sounds like a good idea, the setting is gorgeous and there is a picnic area nearby, maybe we can bring some food?"

"Sounds great."

About an hour later you park the rented bikes in the designated place and while you lift Lucy from her seat Tom walks to the box office to buy tickets. When you reach it you walk in and you come into a large open space with different groups who are waiting. You and Tom look at each other and decide not to take the tour, Lucy is also a bit restless so you walk around a bit and see the tower and various other buildings.

Around midday you look for a quiet spot outside the fence and while you give Lucy a clean nappy and her bottle Tom lays out the food on the picnic table.

"I've been thinking," Tom begins and you look at him while you cradle Lucy in your arms,"I still have a week with you and Lucy and although I love spending time with the both of you I would also like to spend some days alone with you before I have to leave again, maybe we can let Lucy spent a few days with mum and dad."

"Sounds lovely." you say.

 

And so it is that you take Lucy to Tom's parents two days later, so you and Tom have a few days in which you are able to fully focus on each other before Tom has to leave you again. They are delightful days, the mornings are spend in bed in each other's arms, caressing and kissing, followed by a long shower and while Tom lets out Oakley you take care of breakfast or rather brunch. The nights are long, the TV stays off but the radio is on often and sometimes Tom begins to sing as you move slowly dancing around the room. Often hands start wandering and lips start kissing, and it always ends in lovemaking session, sometimes intense and full of lust and desire, and sometimes tender and loving.

When you fall into bed exhausted after a lovemaking you fall asleep, but halfway through the night you wake up with a sharp pain in your stomach, groaning you sit upright and your hands move over your belly. When all of a sudden a light is switched on you look behind you and you find two blue eyes looking at you worried.

"What is it?" he asks and sits up.

"My stomach ... shit .."

Tom moves against you and puts a hand on yours while he kisses your neck.

"Something is wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"It feels wet, like I'm leaking."

You slide up and bite on your lip from the pain, you lay the sheet aside and what you see stops your heart. You hear Tom sucking in a deep breath at the sight of the sheet which seems drenched with blood and some clots. Before you can do anything he grabs the phone and calls an ambulance, when he hangs up he looks at you.

"Are you in pain?"

"No."

"Are you still bleeding."

"I do not think so."

Suddenly you start to cry, not from the pain but of so much blood that you see and that you have lost. Tom responds immediately by laying his arms around you and pressing you against him. He gives you a kiss on your forehead and he frowns and then he looks at you.

"You have a fever?"

"I feel funny."

"What do you mean?"

"Funny, light headed, dizzy."

When you hear the ambulance Tom starts to move but instead of going downstairs he walks to your side of the bed and lifts you up, you put your head on his shoulder and close your eyes, he walks downstairs with you and puts you down but when you sink through your knees his arms pull you against him and he looks at you.

"Y/N?" he says, and when you do not respond he realizes you are unconscious,"y/n, wake up, please, look at me."

Vacantly you open your eyes and look at him.

"Good, stay with me, okay."

"Okay."

He opens the door while the paramedics walk towards you with a stretcher. Tom helps you on it and takes your hand to not let go of it untill your in the ambulance. However, halfway to the hospital you get severe pains and you begin to bleed again, so violently that you need a special maternity napkin but it is not resistant against the bleeding you have and when you arrive at the hospital fifteen minutes later there are three soaked with blood in the waste bin.

In the hospital Tom helps you off the stretcher and in a wheelchair and he drives you to the counter where your gynecologist is waiting for you.

"What seems to be the problem?" she asks.

"Blood loss, a lot, at least it seemed like a lot. In the ambulance it began again."

"Are you in pain?"

"No, and the bleeding has stopped again."

"Well, let's see what we can find."

You and Tom follow the gynecologist to her room where you sit on the treatment table. You slide your shorts down and your top up so she can smear gel on your abdomen and she moves the Doppler over it. Immediately you see your uterus on the monitor and the gynecologist looks at the screen. You look too but you see nothing, the gynecologist hums and points to the screen and when you squeeze your eyes a little you see a dark spot in your womb.

"You see this dark spot? That's a piece of placenta of about 2 inches x 1 inch."

"What?"

The gynecologist turns around and looks at you.

"Sometimes it happens that during a miscarriage, something remains."

"And now what?" Tom asks.

"It needs to be taken out, I'm going to arrange an operating room for you and if needed a few bags of blood in case you need a blood transfusion."

"Okay."

When the gynecologist is gone you bite your lip and you look away from Tom, but he will have none of it.

"Hey, look at me," he says and sits down on the edge of the bed and waits until you look at him, "you're going to be okay."

"Will you stay with me? When they operate?"

"Of course."

"Promise me you'll stay with me, Tom."

"I promise I'll stay with you, darling, no one can make me leave you."

He takes your hand in his and kisses it before he smiles at you and his other hand pushes a lock of hair behind your ear before he cups your cheek and you lean against the touch. You're glad he's with you, that it is happening now and not when he is filming. Tom has always been the only one who can calm you and has a soothing effect on you.

"Take a deep breath." He says.

You take a deep breath and manage to give him a smile and when the gynecologist walks back into the room she has two nurses with her.

"The two nurses take you to the operating room for procedure."

"What does the procedure entail?" Tom wants to know as you move towards the operating room.

"The anesthetist, who is waiting for you in the operating room, will administer a light general anesthetic. He will put a mask over your mouth and nose through which you get oxygen. You will become drowsy and fall asleep and while you sleep, I will place a tube in your windpipe to make sure you can still breath. When you are sedated, your legs will be placed in leg supports and the vagina and the cervix is disinfected to prevent infection."

By now you are at the operating room and as you had expected Tom is stopped but you refuse to let go of his hand.

"Please, I want him with me." you say.

"Of course," says the gynecologist and she looks at the nurse, "make sure he is sterile and let him in."

The nurse nods and without Tom she drives you into the operating room where the anesthesiologist introduces himself to you.

"During the operation, I will first insert a speculum to see the cervix," she says and holds the object up,"the opening of the cervix is gradually widened with different metal rods with increasing diameter. If the cervix is open enough, I insert a curette into the uterine cavity and take this sharp spoon to scoop out the piece of placenta that has been left behind, the whole procedure takes only a few minutes."

"How will you know if you have everything?" you ask.

"After the operation and while you are still asleep we preform a echo and later after you have woken up we will preform another to see if the uterus is empty."

Meanwhile, Tom has joined you again and your hand instantly comes up making him take it, he interweaves your fingers and he brings you hands to his lips to press a kiss on it then he smiles and puts a hand on your forehead.

"I'm here, darling."

"Are you ready?" the anesthesiologist asks.

"Yes."

"Okay."

The anesthetist places the cap over your mouth and nose and soon you fall asleep.

 

When you wake up, everything is blurry and you blink your eyes, you see movement in the corner of your eye and you turn your head. Immediately you see two blue eyes that look at you.

"Hey, welcome back, darling."

"Tom ..." you say, your voice is hoarse and your throat hurts.

"Sshh, it's okay, do not try to talk, the tube has just been taken out of your throat, you want something to drink?"

You nod and Tom gives you a glass of water with a straw, you carefully lean forward and take a sip and then you lie down again and he places the glass on the table. He sits on the edge of the bed and puts his hands on either side of your body to look at you.

"The operation went well, they did an ultrasound and there was nothing to see. How do you feel?"

You think for a moment and then smile.

"Okay, I guess."

"No pain except your throat?"

"No."

Tom smiles and you put your hand up and beckon him with your finger, he slowly leans forward and gives you a kiss on your dry lips. Then he puts a hand on your forehead and he frowns.

"You feel a little warm." he says.

He reaches over you and pushes a button and a minute later, the gynecologist walks into the room.

"Welcome back, how do you feel?"

"Okay."

"She feels warm." Tom says immidiatly.

The gynecologist places a hand on your forehead and nods.

"She has a slight fever, you have a stomachache?"

"No."

"Headache?"

"No."

"Okay, I'll give you a medication for the fever, tonight you have to stay here, I will provide a private room so you can get rest. Tomorrow morning I'll look again at how it goes. If the fever is gone and the echo good you can go home. "

"Thank you."

About half an hour you're in your private room and you feel very tired and weak. Tom notices it and sits down on the edge of the bed.

"Come lie next to me."

You slide aside to make room while Tom pulls off his shoes and you want to lie on your side but Tom stops you.

"No, stay lying on your back, you have to move as little as possible."

You sigh deeply and feel how Tom puts an arm around your waist and leg over yours. You turn your face towards him and Tom leans forward to give you a kiss.

"Go to sleep, get some rest."

 

The next morning you wake up surprisingly rested, Tom is still asleep and you look at him. He looks so peaceful, so vulnerable too. You're very happy that he was with you and that he could support you and you are thankful that the nurses made an exception for him so he could stay with you during the surgery, not that you have noticed it, you were under anesthesia but the idea that he was with you gave you a sense of comfort only he can give you. You feel your head and to your relief you do not feel hot and you wriggle yourself gently out of Tom's secure arms to sit on the edge of the bed.

For a moment you remain sitting like before you slide off the bed and stand on your feet, you pause again before releasing the bed and you stand on your feet with your full weight. You feel no pain and carefully take a step, you smile when it goes fairly easily and you walk around the bed and to the window. You slide it up and breathe the fresh morning air in your lungs and let it slowly escape from between your lips.

"Y/N?"

You look around and see that Tom is leaning on his elbows and eventually his eyes find yours, when he sees that you are out of bed and by the window they turn worried and he gets up.

"You're up, why are you out of bed? Are you allowed to be out of bed? Are you even allowed to walk?" he asks.

He walks up to you immediately, and when he's with you, he looks at you.

"I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, very sure."

He feels your forehead and nods.

"No more fever."

"No, and I slept great, but I always sleep great in your arms."

"And I in yours."

He leans forward and kisses your lips before he takes your hands.

"Do you have any pain?"

"No not at all."

"Maybe you should just go back to bed ...."

Suddenly you hear the door open and you look up, expecting that you will see the gynecologist but surprise is great when you suddenly see Diana.

"Diana .... this is a surprise."

"Yes, we would actually bring Lucy back today but when you did not open and we saw your cars we became worried. The neighbor across the street, Amelia, said she heard an ambulance in the middle of the night but was not sure whether that was for you. James and I have gone back home but I was so worried that I called the hospital and they told me what happened."

She is now beside you and you see the same concern in her eyes as you saw in Tom's eyes and it strikes you how much they resemble not only Tom's but also Lucy's.

"How are you?"

"Well, the surgery went well and I slept well. I had a slight fever when I woke up after the surgery but I've got something for that."

Diana feels your forehead and shakes her head.

"You feel normal."

"I am normal,"you laugh,"the fever is gone and I'm fine, really."

"Well, that's good to hear." you hear.

You turn your heads and see the gynecologist standing.

"I must say I am surprised at by how quickly you already are up and about, you don't have pain anywhere?"

"No."

"That's good, I want to do an ultrasound to see if there is really nothing in your uterus anymore."

"Okay."

You walk over to the bed and soon you feel Tom's hand at your back to help you, you lie down in bed while the gynecologist rides the equipment next to the bed and turns it on, then she looks at Diana.

"She can stay, she is Tom's mother."

"Okay."

You bare your belly and the gynecologist spreads the liquid with the doppler, she looks at your uterus and eventually she nods satisfied.

"It's empty."

"Are you sure?" Tom asks.

"Very sure." the the gynecologist answers.

She places the doppler on the device and gives you some wipes.

"I'm going to make the papers in order and then you can go home. I will give you some antibiotics against possible infections which you can get downstairs at the pharmacy. It is normal if you should loose some blood the next few days but when the fever return or if you lose a lot of blood, I advise you to call me."

"Okay, thank you."

The gynecologist nods before she leaves you alone and you sit on the edge of the bed.

"Well, I will go back home, we could bring Lucy later today or do you prefer to have a day of rest?"

"Maybe one day of rest is not a bad idea." Tom suggests.

"No, I think you're right."

"Okay, we'll bring her tomorrow at noon."

"Thank you, Diana."

When she is gone you pull your clothes on and when you have everything you walk up to the counter where you sign the papers and get the prescription for antibiotics. Once you have collected the medicines you take a taxi home and as you reach the driveway you suddenly see a moving truck standing at the neighbors house and men that carry furniture inside, you and Tom look at each other questioningly, but before you can say anything you hear someone call your name. You turn around and see Amelia walking up to you.

"Was that ambulance for you last night?"

"Yes, it was for me."

"What happened? Is everything okay again?"

"Yes, fine, why don't you come by this weekend, bring Ethan and the kids too."

"Yeah sure."

"Oh, what's happening there?"

"I do not know, when we went to Ponza the house was suddenly empty."

After you said goodbye you go inside and in the living room you sit on the couch. Suddenly you're tired, so tired and you put your head on the railing of the couch.

"Tired?"

"Yes, knackered all of a sudden."

"Well, it was quite an operation,"Tom says and sits down next to you, head supported by his hand while he looks at you,"will you promise me something?"

"What?"

"If you have pain, please tell me."

"If you promise not to overreact when I do."

Tom smiles and carresses your cheek.

"I can't promise that, darling you know that, your my wife and I love you more then anything, when your in pain I want to do everything I can and as soon as I can to make it go away."

"I know."

"You want to go to bed?"

"No, I want a bath, a nice hot bath."

"I'll fill itt up for you."

"Thanks, you're the best."

"Yeah I know."

Tom gives you a kiss before he walks into the downstairs bathroom and fills up the tub while you pick up the newspaper and start reading, you are drawn by an article on the front page with the headline 'third toddler kidnapped in three months.' You read the article and understand that in the past few months not only three infants under a year were abducted but they were all taken in the London area.

"Y/N?"

"What?"

"What are you reading that you are so taken up with?"

"Oh, um, nothing, is my bath ready?"

"Yeah, come on."

"Join me?"

"Of course."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I only have half a chap left now but bc I need at least five so I can read them over and change things so it comes out better and makes more sence in later chaps I'm going to put this on hold for awhile, this story has dominated my life, in a good way, for more then a year, I just need a bit of a break from it. 
> 
> Like I said and can't say enough, I am not stopping this story and this is by no means the end there is still a lot that I have in my mind for it, for the reader, Tom and Lucy, they're story has not come to an end, but I don't want writing to be an obligation, it has to be fun otherwise I'll ruin my story and I don't want that and you deserve better then that too.
> 
> I just hope you give me the time and space I need right now, and bear with me in this, so haveing said that I can't thank you all enough for the awesome reviews and amazing amount of kudo's on this, and like I said, I will continue this.


	105. chapter 101

Hello, my sweet readers, so sorry it's been so long sincew I updated this story and I've been asked a couple of times if I will continue this and I am so sorry to come back to that but I won't be picking this story up, ever since Tom got together with that Taylor Swift and after everything that he did, the t-shirt, frolicking around in the sea with her and her teenage friends where he looked more like the dad then one of them tbh, the Gomez concert, the trip to Rome and the photoshoot in boxers just no......I'm so deeply disappointent in him and have no admiration for him anymore what so ever so therefore I just can't continue this story. I'm so very very sorry and I can understand it if you are mad at me for that but I just can't. Thank you all for commenting, giving kudo's and staying with me, but it ends here... -XXX-


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